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How one brave mum is shedding light on postnatal depression through the healing power of music

Warning: This article contains sensitive content which some readers may find distressing. It’s no secret that having a baby changes your life in every way. From sleepless nights and feeding routines, to nappy changes and seemingly endless crying, starting a family is, put simply, a life-altering experience. And while the early days of having a newborn can bring love and chaos in equal parts, for some, the days, weeks and months after giving birth can welcome a whole new set of challenges. While most parents are privy to the “baby blues” and a rough day here and there, those struggling with postnatal depression can often be overlooked. Postnatal depression is common, with one in five mums, and one in 10 dads, experiencing postnatal depression symptoms after their baby is born. For Lija (pronounced Le-ah), postnatal depression completely changed her life. Lija, a music teacher from the Central Coast of New South Wales, welcomed her first child, a beautiful daughter named Harper, into the world at the end of 2017. When Lija discovered she was going to become a mum, she was overcome with fear. Lija spoke exclusively with OverSixty about her journey with postnatal depression, and how her feelings of anxiety began as soon as she fell pregnant. “There was this lie in my head that I could not give birth… That I would die. You feel like you can’t make a way through it and you’re predicting all these complications. [Lija’s friends’ traumatic birth experience] confirmed all these feelings and i just thought ‘Maybe you die from this’.” As soon as Lija and her husband began to celebrate the news of their growing family, she quickly began to “spiral” into self-doubt and depressive episodes. “When I found out I was pregnant, it was a spiral. I didn’t think I was good enough, I was crying so much… I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone because I was so gripped in fear.” “It took me about seven months to accept that I was having a kid.” Over the course of her pregnancy, Lija’s mental health continued to plummet with her feelings of fear and self-doubt, which led her down an even darker path. “The worst part was I was suicidal. There were moments where I wanted to end my life because I just felt like my time was up.” These feelings of helplessness led Lija to reach out to a counsellor, who helped manage her mental health symptoms for the rest of her pregnancy and introduced her to hypnobirthing. Her sessions with a hypnobirthing specialist gave Lija the boost she needed to be in tune with her body, and get her through to Harper’s birth with a sense of confidence. “If I’ve grown a baby, I can give birth to a baby. It was all just focus.” When Harper was born, Lija remembers healthcare professionals warning her husband that her mental health could decline, but she was never spoken to directly. “Apparently nurses were talking to my husband after the birth saying ‘She’s going to be prone to postnatal depression, you need to watch her’, but no one told me I was going to be so lonely.” “I was so focused on the birth going well that I hadn’t thought about what happens after, and I didn’t know what postnatal depression was.” When Lija and her husband brought baby Harper home, as they encountered perfectly common issues around sleep and breastfeeding, Lija thought she had failed as a first-time mum. “I felt like I failed as a mum because I couldn't give Harper everything she needed. And that started all these terrible thoughts and I just started to mentally spiral down again. But I didn’t know for about six months that I had postnatal depression.” During the first few months of Harper’s life, Lija began to find simple day-to-day tasks very difficult. “My poor husband… I was a psycho. It began when I said no one was allowed to come over because I was constantly in my pyjamas and I felt ashamed that my house wasn’t clean.” Lija shared that as she began to settle into the reality of being a mum, Harper’s needs always came first. “I was just in such a routine. I needed to have my baby follow a good structure, which meant my mental health took a backseat. So I just kept spiralling and spiralling.” As Lija tried to better herself, she quickly found out that comparing yourself to other new parents is a slippery slope that welcomes thoughts of self-doubt. “I tried to go to a mum’s club and they all seemed so perfect. I feel like they weren’t real. It was like Instagram mums. So to try and look good, I was spending all this money to try and keep up appearances.” As Lija’s mental health continued to suffer, she said it wasn’t until a difficult conversation with her husband that she realised she needed professional help. “I wasn’t being the normal me. There was no joy, there was no laughter, and I felt like I failed as a mother and as a wife. So my husband said ‘I’ve booked you in for a therapy session’, and that was the start of it.” “I wanted to be better for Harper. I wanted to be a good mum for her. So I had to start working on myself.” Now, five years on, Lija is reflecting on her experience with postnatal depression in the best way she knows how: through her music. Lija’s debut single Save Me details her journey of becoming a mum and bettering herself, while painting an honest portrait of the first months of motherhood. <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tmHTlybb-rM" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> After being a musician for most of her life, Lija’s passion took a backseat when she became a mother. “I started to miss my music, because I've done music my whole life. It was so hard to walk past my studio and see the guitar going to waste. I started to miss the other half of me as a musician.” After working on Save Me for several years, Lija believes it is the right time to put her story out there in order to help and inspire other parents struggling with postnatal depression. “It’s okay to be vulnerable. Be real, because you can help others with your honesty.” “It’s also important to remember that babies aren’t going to remember the best outfits they were in, or if they had the best pram. They're going to remember if they were loved or not.” Lija has long been a champion of music and its healing power, which became a saviour in her darkest times through her postnatal depression journey. “I went back to teaching music three months after having Harper. I worked one day a week and these kids and teenagers that were singing to me were actually healing me with their music and their talent.” “Music is something I have always turned to. It has always spoken to me, and I thought if I write a song about my journey, that could heal me too. I thought ‘It’s time to kick fear in the butt and write about life’.” Musical talent is something that runs in the family, with Harper’s singing talents already at “the next level”. “I swear she came out singing! Her ability to hear pitch is insane. In lockdown, she would be singing scales while I was teaching music classes over Zoom. She is just so joyous, and she is like my healing.” Lija’s debut single Save Me is out on now. Don't go it alone. Please reach out for help. Lifeline: 13 11 14 or <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">lifeline.org.au</a> Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or <a href="http://beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a> Headspace: 1800 650 890 or <a href="http://headspace.org.au/">headspace.org.au</a> PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 726 306 or <a href="https://panda.org.au/">panda.org.au</a> Image credits: Instagram

Music

Jennifer Aniston bares all to share struggles with infertility

Jennifer Aniston has bared all in her latest cover shoot, while opening up about her desperate struggle to have children. The 53-year-old actress admitted to <a href="https://www.allure.com/story/jennifer-aniston-december-2022-cover-interview" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Allure magazine</a> that she regrets the decision to not freeze her eggs when she was younger, revealing that she "threw everything" at her infertility battle, including going through IVF in a desperate attempt to conceive. "I was trying to get pregnant. It was a challenging road for me, the baby-making road," she said of her IVF journey, which the magazine notes was "several years ago". "All the years and years and years of speculation... It was really hard. I was going through IVF, drinking Chinese teas, you name it. I was throwing everything at it." She also slammed speculation that any of her former husbands, including Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux, initiated a divorce because she "wouldn't give him a kid", noting that the constant rumours about her relationship made her infertility battle all the more difficult. The actress added that she wishes someone had told her to freeze her eggs when she was younger, adding that she has now come to terms with the fact that she will never conceive children. "I would’ve given anything if someone had said to me, 'Freeze your eggs. Do yourself a favour.' You just don’t think it. So here I am today. The ship has sailed," she said. Aniston admitted that she was too focused on her career at the height of her fame from starring on the sitcom Friends to think about the possibility of having a family. "I just cared about my career. And God forbid a woman is successful and doesn’t have a child," she said. "And the reason my husband left me, why we broke up and ended our marriage, was because I wouldn’t give him a kid. It was absolute lies. I don’t have anything to hide at this point." Jennifer went on to say that she has come to terms with the fact she won't have children, saying she found some "relief" in the fact that the possibility of kids is no longer lingering over her as never-ending "maybe". She has found self-confidence in her age, saying she no longer cares what anyone thinks about her. "I would say my late 30s, 40s, I’d gone through really hard s***, and if it wasn’t for going through that, I would’ve never become who I was meant to be," she explained. Image credits: Instagram - Allure

Body

Planning, stress and worry put the mental load on mothers – will 2022 be the year they share the burden?

The COVID pandemic has made the very private issue of the domestic division of labour – the way housework and childcare are divided – a very public issue. During lockdowns, the burden of housework and childcare grew significantly for men and women in <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497">opposite-sex</a> and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/08912432211001303">same-sex couples</a> both in Australia and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">elsewhere</a>. Overnight, homes became offices, childcare centres and makeshift schools and it was mothers who largely stepped into these teaching and caring roles at the expense of their <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1097184X21990737">anxiety levels and sleep</a>. While the pandemic exacerbated the physical demands of care – housework and childcare – it also exacerbated another part of the work that keeps households and families running: the mental load. <h2>What is the mental load?</h2> A lot has been written about the mental load over the past two years, with many confusing the mental load with household labour – cleaning and cooking or caring after children – or planning tasks involved with childcare. But the mental load is so much more. In our recently published <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">research</a>, we define the mental load as the combination of two types of work or labour: cognitive labour and emotional labour. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437061/original/file-20211212-13-131ekhu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Mother organises things on her phone, while looking after kids at the kitchen table." /> The mental load is more than just planning. <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/L8oEIAZ59_g" class="source">Vitolda Klein/Unsplash</a> The cognitive aspect of the mental load involves the scheduling, planning, and organising required to support the smooth operating of families. This type of work ranges from organising a play date to planning dinner. We argue this cognitive work becomes a load or the mental load when it has an emotional element, for example, when there is worry or stress attached to these tasks. Some have described list-making as the mental load, but list-making isn’t always stressful or emotional and, importantly, list-making has a finite beginning and end. But, once cognitive tasks like list-making take on an emotional element – like worry about whether Nana will like her present, anxiety about how relatives will get along at holiday dinners and stress about filling stockings while finishing work – then it becomes the mental load. <h2>How does the mental load operate?</h2> We argue the mental load operates in families and societies in three ways. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437068/original/file-20211212-23-f80euq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=237&fit=clip" alt="Busy woman sits at a cafe on her computer, talking on the phone." /> The mental load can be performed anywhere, anytime. <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/u_9ANn3JpVU" class="source">Aviv Rachmadian/Unsplash</a> First it’s invisible – it’s the type of work that is done internally. Unlike housework or childcare, it’s unseen and therefore hard to recognise. Second, the mental load is boundaryless. Because it’s invisible, it can be performed anywhere or at anytime. American sociologist Arlie Hochschild termed women’s domestic labour done after work as the “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Second_Shift">second shift</a>” but the mental load has no shifts – it can be done before, during and after work or even during time that should be spent sleeping. And lastly, the mental load is enduring, meaning it never ends. Unlike housework such as like cooking or cleaning, thinking and caring about family members never ends, which is why the mental load can be so burdensome and Nana still reminds you to take a jacket. <h2>How can we lessen mental loads in 2022 and beyond?</h2> Individuals and society can do a number of things to decrease the mental load. 1) Make the mental load more visible by quantifying it We have no robust, standardised and nationally representative measure of the mental load. This means, unlike housework and childcare, we have no idea the volume and consequences of the mental load for Australians. Recent reports on <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/dec/07/women-do-21-hours-more-unpaid-work-than-men-study-suggests">housework</a> show women do 21 more hours of unpaid work than men. They may also spend the bulk of the day thinking about, planning and worrying about their families. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437063/original/file-20211212-27-yirblq.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Older woman rides a bike through a cobble-stone street." /> The mental load can last long after your children have left home. <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/Q1KRS5xRGfM" class="source">Clem Onojeghuo</a> Yet, we have no measure of this labour and, importantly, we don’t know how men carry the mental load either. Quantifying and capturing how much time we spend on the mental load and how this is shared between couples will help lay the groundwork for change. 2) Acknowledge the toll on women The pandemic has left workers burnt out, stressed and overwhelmed by the intensity of balancing work, homeschooling and full-time care demands while isolated at home. It’s no wonder the pandemic has knocked <a href="https://arts.unimelb.edu.au/the-policy-lab/projects/projects/worsening">mothers out of employment</a>. Mothers are exhausted not only from the physical demands of work and family but also the cognitive labour of holding it all together at work while worrying about torpedoing children’s educational futures from keeping them home, alone and glued to screens. The mental load, as the unrelenting internal nag, is a drain on well-being with serious consequences for economic productivity and fatigue. The mental load is a national health emergency and should be treated seriously by workplaces and governments alike. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/437065/original/file-20211212-21-zc03ez.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Woman concentrates on a computer while working from home." /> The mental load affects women’s health and productivity. <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/g9KFpAfQ5bc" class="source">Annie Spratt/Unsplash</a> 3) Help families better reconcile work and family demands Both organisations and governments need to be better at helping families combine their work and care responsibilities. The mental load overloads women (and some men) particularly at work when they are thinking and worrying about their children’s needs. Workplaces need to improve support for families to lessen the mental load. This may mean more working remotely or concrete programs to support workers’ mental loads. This is also likely to improve workers’ productivity. At the same time, governments need to provide better care infrastructure to support families, for example more universal affordable childcare, supports for transitioning children to and from school, and better aged care. This will lessen workers’ worries about the experiences of loved ones while they’re engaged in paid work. Ultimately, the mental load is a mental health issue and companies and governments should treat it as such. This will unburden families, and particularly mothers, from managing the mental load alone.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/172599/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Associate Professor in Sociology and Co-Director of The Policy Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-churchill-3035">Brendan Churchill</a>, ARC Research Fellow and Lecturer in Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/liz-dean-189942">Liz Dean</a>, Lecturer in Sociology Program, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">original article</a>. Image: Rich Smith/Unsplash

Family & Pets

"Bedtime fail": Jacinda Arden interrupted during live address

Images: Facebook & Getty Jacinda Ardern thought she would make the most of some quiet time after her daughter Neve went to bed earlier this week. However, as every parent will understand, just because a child has been put to bed, it doesn’t mean they’ll stay there. The PM was in the middle of a Facebook Live broadcast to the nation about COVID-19 lockdowns, when her three-year-old, Neve chose that exact moment to interrupt. "You're meant to be in bed darling," Ms Ardern says to the little girl. "It's bedtime darling, pop back to bed, I'll come and see you in a second. I'll come and see you in a minute, OK? Nanny will take you down to bed." As Ms Ardern's mother took Neve back to bed, the PM apologised for the 'bedtime fail'. "Sorry, everyone, I thought 'Here's a moment, I'll do a Facebook Live, we're nice and safe," she said. "Does anyone else have kids that escape three or four times after bedtime?" As if to prove her mother's point, it wasn't long before Neve was back asking the PM how much longer she would be. "I'm sorry darling, it is taking so long, OK," Ms Ardern said, before wrapping up the broadcast with promises to do an "extended, uninterrupted" version later in the week. Auckland has been in lockdown for nearly three months with restrictions expected to lift within the next few weeks.

Family & Pets

Controversial photo of mum and baby divides the internet

A photo showing a woman sitting at a bar with a baby in a carrier and hanging off the back of her stool has divided internet users. The woman is seen enjoying a drink with a friend as the child is hanging behind her. The details of the image are unclear, with some assuming it’s a doll, but that hasn’t stopped Reddit users from criticising the woman “Mounting her baby on the back of a chair,” the caption, which was posted Sunday, reads. Thousands of people have weighed in, with some branding the act as “dangerous”. “It’s meant to be around someone’s arms, so I feel like the harness could slip off of the chair,” one Reddit user wrote. “I treat my backpack with more respect,” said another person, while a third added, “I don’t even do that with my purse,” added another. <img style="width: 500px; height: 370.062px; display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7839152/screen-shot-2020-12-09-at-20528-pm.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/41ca6eb1aeaf4e1a90407195fbc8b578" /> Credit: Reddit Others defended the woman with one user saying, “These harnesses have a chest strap so there’s no way it’s falling off that chair.” “I mean, this is stupid, but it probably has a chest clip,” a second person agreed. But not everyone bought into the idea, with one user saying that while the carrier may have a chest strap that’s latched on the other side, “I think that would make it worse.” “Instead of falling to the floor, it would slip off, sliding baby out head first onto the tile,” she said. “I had a carrier like that and I could totally sit down while wearing a baby,” added another. Others just joked that the mum “needed a drink”. “Take a nap sweetie, mammy need her wine,” one user wrote. One woman was adamant that she didn’t see a problem with the photo. “That babies in a deep sleep I really don’t see the problem here. If the baby is comfy and sleeping and she’s holding onto the carrier it’s just a funny way to let your baby sleep,” the woman explained. Others agreed that it appeared the mum was holding onto the strap. “Looks like she is reaching back and holding it, or she just likes sitting in awkward positions.” Meanwhile, others questioned if the baby was actually a doll and said they couldn’t tell from the photo. “It’s also not a real baby,” one wrote.

Family & Pets

Grandma gives birth to own granddaughter

Julie Loving just gave 29-year-old daughter the gift of life for a second time. The 51-year-old delivered her granddaughter as the gestational carrier on November 2. New mum Breanna Lockwood took to Instagram to share the exciting news along with her daughter’s name - Briar Juliette Lockwood - an ode to her own mother. “My mom was an absolute rockstar through a difficult delivery,” Lockwood wrote in the post. “The sacrifices she took to bring this little slice of heaven into our world takes my breath away. Holding my daughter in my arms my heart is bursting. The feeling of how I would do absolutely anything needed for this child is radiating through me when I look at her, and reflects back on what my mom did for me.” Well wishers have flocked to the comments as they congratulated the new mum after following her story since she first posted about it. “The love between a mother and daughter is unbreakable — can’t wait to see a pic of three generations of STRONG women with you, your mama & baby Briar!” one follower wrote, while others celebrated Briar’s long-awaited arrival via emoji. The mother-daughter duo spoke to Today Parents last month when Loving was 35 weeks pregnant. “It’s been a textbook pregnancy,” Loving told Today Parents. “Everything’s been perfect.” <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBEt0mJBa2S/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBEt0mJBa2S/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">They say, “It takes a village to raise a child”, but for some it can take a village to HAVE a child... ⠀ ⠀ We are happy to announce, finally, ...⠀ BABY LOCKWOOD IS ON THE WAY! ⠀ ⠀ Made with a lot of love, and a little bit of science...⠀ Baby Lockwood will be brought into this world via GESTATIONAL CARRIER, and this little miracle’s carrier is quite a special one. ⠀ ⠀ MY MOM.⠀ My mom will be carrying and delivering our baby!⠀ ⠀ The biggest supporter in my life is giving us our biggest blessing. My beautiful mama is carrying her first grandchild, Aaron and my biological child, as a gestational carrier!⠀ ⠀ Aaron and I had our reproductive DNA taken, fertilized, tested, and frozen via IVF, as my mom breezed through every preliminary test she took, to be able to give us this gift. Defying the odds at 51 years old, she’s pushing reproductive science out of the box, as ONE of only a handful of surrogates NATIONWIDE to deliver their grandchild via gestational surrogacy!⠀ ⠀ The trials and tribulations of infertility was undoubtedly the hardest venture we have had to face in our lives. ⠀ ⠀ In short that included...⠀ ⠀ 1311 days⠀ 476 injections⠀ 64 blood draws⠀ 7 surgical procedures ⠀ 3 rounds of harvesting eggs⠀ 19 frozen embryos ⠀ 8 IVF frozen embryo transfers total⠀ 4 failed embryo transfers⠀ 1 singleton miscarriage⠀ 1 twin miscarriage ⠀ 1 ectopic pregnancy ⠀ Countless tears⠀ ⠀ Sharing this adventure with my mom has been the most unique and amazing experience. Surrogacy is truly the most selfless gift. She is the pure example of “you would do anything for your kids”, and if i can even be half of the mother she is, I know i’m doing something right...⠀ ⠀ I want to give a special thanks to Dr. Kaplan with @fertilitycentersofillinois for his compassion and care in this field.⠀ ⠀ Baby Lockwood we can’t wait to meet you...⠀ See you in November!</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/ivf.surrogacy.diary/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Breanna Lockwood</a> (@ivf.surrogacy.diary) on Jun 5, 2020 at 5:34pm PDT </div> </blockquote> Lockwood, had struggled with infertility for years, experiencing four failed embryo transfers, two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. After a dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure left Lockwood with problematic scar tissue in her uterus, she and her husband Aaron turned to the idea of using a gestational carrier. “Most Americans cannot afford a gestational carrier,” said Lockwood’s fertility specialist, Dr. Brian Kaplan of Fertility Centers of Illinois. “It’s over $100,000.” Loving offered to be daughter’s surrogate, but Kaplan wasn’t convinced. “My immediate reaction was, ‘This is not a good thing,’” said Kaplan, who has done more than 20,000 in vitro fertilisation procedures in the span of his 29-year career. “Normally a gestational carrier should be under 40 years, but in medicine you have to look at an individual and personalise it.” After a series of intense testing, Loving was given the green light. “Fortunately she got pregnant the very first time with the very first embryo,” Kaplan shared. “I’ve been with Breanna for years with so much trauma and intensity — the resilience was mind-boggling. If she did not have her mom, she wouldn’t have a baby.” In the second post since baby Briar’s arrival, Lockwood shared she is “Just living in new mama bliss!” and updated followers that her mum is recovering and enjoying her rest.

Family & Pets

“My son hates me”: Mum issues desperate plea

A new mum has hit a roadblock as she claims that her 16-month-old son “hates” her and she has no idea why. The devastated woman took to the Mumsnet forum asking for advice on the situation as she says her son "loves DH (dear husband) more than anything in the world, loves the dogs [and] loves everyone on the planet except for me. "If he's left alone in a room with me then he'll scream. He's done this literally since he was born. If I pick him up, then he'll scream. He won't take food or water or milk from me, ever." She explained the situation is so bad she had to express breastmilk as her son would only allow her husband to feed him. The mum continued saying she doesn’t even had a photo of her and her son together when he’s not crying. "It's not that he's overly attached to DH though, because he's perfectly fine at <a rel="noopener" href="http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/toddler/childcare/my-son-hates-daycare-20130815-2s0bq" target="_blank">nursery </a>or with his grandparents or even complete strangers," she wrote. Continuing the post, the distressed mum listed other examples when her son has rejected her but has been fine "cuddling and playing" with other people. "When he wakes up and starts to cry, if I go in then he'll look at me and pretend to be asleep, so I don't pick him up," she wrote. "Some people have suggested it's because, as the mother, he sees me all day so takes me for granted but that can't be the case. "From mid-March, DH was essentially furloughed so was with DS (dear son) more than I was. Now we're both back at work but I work five days each week and DH works three. "I don't know what to do. I can't take him to the park or shops without DH (or someone else) because he screams the whole time. I've tried changing my perfume and deodorant and things like that, but it makes no difference. "Everyone says he's the happiest little boy in the world and nursery think he's the easiest baby to look after - I'm the only person he hates." Users on the popular forum recommended to a child psychologist, saying they may be able to help. "How distressing for you," one supportive fellow mum wrote. "Have you asked for any professional advice? I imagine a child psychologist would want to observe you interacting to assess the dynamics between you." "Everyone I've spoken to has just dismissed it," the worried mum replied. "They've said it's normal for a child to have a favourite parent." Other users said to make sure she looks after her own mental health, which some suggested could be playing a part in how she's perceiving the situation. "Please don't think it's anything you are doing wrong, you sound like an amazing caring mum," one mum responded, with another adding, "I think you need help, for your mental health and your baby."

Family & Pets

Duchess Kate gets candid about motherhood in new interview

Duchess Kate has spoken up on her experiences with motherhood in a candid interview. Speaking to Giovanna Fletcher on the <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/happy-mum-happy-baby/id1277078956">Happy Mum, Happy Baby</a> podcast, the Duchess of Cambridge said her struggle with hyperemesis – or severe nausea and vomiting – led her to decide to hypnobirth all three of her children. “I saw the power of it, really – the meditation and the deep breathing and things like that – that they teach you in hypnobirthing when I was really sick and actually I realised that this was something that I could take control of, I suppose, during labour. It was hugely powerful,” the 38-year-old said. She said the chronic morning sickness made her pregnancies difficult – and not just for herself, but also for her husband Prince William. “It was definitely a challenge. Not just for me, but also for your loved ones around you,” she said. “Being pregnant and having a newborn baby and things like that, impacts everybody in the family. “William didn’t feel he could do much to help and it’s hard to see you’re suffering without actually being able to do anything about it.” Kate also said presenting her newborn babies to the press outside the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital in London was a “slightly terrifying” experience. “Both William and I were really conscious that this was something that everyone was excited about and you know we’re hugely grateful for the support that the public had shown us, and actually for us to be able to share that joy and appreciation with the public, I felt was really important,” she said. “But equally it was coupled with a newborn baby, and inexperienced parents, and the uncertainty of what that held, so there were all sorts of mixed emotions.” The Duchess also admitted she struggled with “mum guilt” from balancing parenting with her other responsibilities. “All the time… Even this morning, George and Charlotte were like, ‘Mummy, how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?’ No, it’s a constant challenge.” Podcast host Fletcher said she did not expect the Duchess to be so open in the interview. “I love hearing her very honest answers, how articulate and intelligent she is about early years... and how playful she is as well when she’s talking about her own kids.” Kate’s appearance came after the release of her survey <a href="https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/a30613232/kate-middleton-survey-uk-tour-announcement/">5 Big Questions on the Under 5s</a>, which sought to gain more information on the British public’s understanding of early child development.

Family & Pets

Duchess Meghan opens up about motherhood and her status as a royal

Duchess Meghan has opened up about what life is like as a new mother as well as how she hopes to set an example for her son Archie while on her Royal Tour of Africa. The Duchess sat down with a group of female founders of tech companies at the “Ladies who Launch” event for a private chat. The leaders couldn’t resist asking the Duchess about her son, and she was surprisingly candid in her response. "She talked about being a mother and having duties as a duchess and fulfilling what her heart desires—and that it can't just fade away now that [she's] a duchess," Matsi Modise told <a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/royals/meghan-markle-opens-up-about-motherhood-duchess-duty-and-fulfilling-what-her-heart-desires/" target="_blank" title="People">People</a> of her conversation with the royal. <img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7831304/meghan-body.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/99bbc828da9846bcb9b624c5641745f8" /> Duchess Meghan at the "Ladies who Launch" event in South Africa “She talked about being a mother and having duties as a duchess and fulfilling what her heart desires — and that it can’t just fade away now that you’re a duchess,” says Modise. “That you have to be true to who you are.” Modise also said that she was feeling a “bit nervous” at talking with the Duchess, but the royal made it easy for her. “I was awestruck, a bit nervous,” says Modise. “But she radiates grace and she is taking this task that she has with such grace. A lot of us have done amazing things as founders, but meeting a royal is quite daunting. She made it easy. She is an easy-going royal!”

International Travel

Michelle Obama’s motherhood advice leaves Duchess Meghan speechless

Former US first lady Michelle Obama has shared her experiences with motherhood and parenting in an interview with Duchess Meghan. The Duchess, who welcomed her firstborn Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor in May, said she was left “somewhat speechless” when the questions she sent Obama for the Q&A feature on the September issue of British <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/michelle-obama-duchess-of-sussex-interview-2019" target="_blank">Vogue</a> that she guest-edited were returned “as a thoughtful, reflective and beautifully curated narrative”. Obama opened up about what she learned from raising her daughters Sasha and Malia. “Being a mother has been a masterclass in letting go,” Obama wrote. “Try as we might, there’s only so much we can control. And, boy, have I tried – especially at first. As mothers, we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies. But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and broken hearts are part of the deal.” Obama said she learned to allow her daughters to grow into the best versions of themselves. “Motherhood has taught me that, most of the time, my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into the people they want to be. Not who I want them to be or who I wish I was at that age, but who they are, deep inside,” she wrote. “I need to be a safe and consistent place for them to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again and again, how to get up on their own.” Obama also recalled what it was like to be a parent to infants, just as the Duchess and her husband Prince Harry are now with their three-month-old son. “When Malia and Sasha were newborns, [husband] Barack and I could lose hours just watching them sleep,” the 55-year-old wrote. “Don’t get me wrong, early parenthood is exhausting. I’m sure you know a thing or two about that these days. But there is something so magical about having a baby in the house … each moment holds its own little eternity. I’m so excited for you and Harry to experience that, Meghan. Savour it all.” The Duchess guest-edited the special British Vogue issue with editor-in-chief Edward Enninful. It is the first time in the magazine’s history that a September issue has been co-edited.

Relationships

Mother mortified by daycare worker's complaint about her son

A mother has been shocked after a daycare worker complained about her son’s language. The woman took to online parenting forum <a href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3606548-Nursery-stopping-DS-from-saying-penis">Mumsnet</a> to share her frustration after the manager of her daycare pulled her aside to have a serious chat about her two-year-old son. “She closed the door and said in a very serious voice that my DS [dear son] had told one of the workers that he liked his penis when she was changing his nappy. Then directly afterwards he said to some of the children that he likes his penis,” the mother wrote. “So I said, ‘OK. I’m not sure what you want me to do. I think most little boys like touching their penises.’ “She said that she understands that, but it’s inappropriate for him to use that sort of language in the nursery setting.” The manager said “other parents may not want their children, particularly the little girls, to hear that word”, and she told the son to stop saying the word because “it wasn’t a nice thing to say”. “I got quite angry and said that I really don’t appreciate her doing that because it’s not a bad word and her telling him that it is will make him think it’s a dirty or bad thing, when it’s actually the correct word for it.” The manager maintained that the mother should teach her son “what is appropriate and what is not” in a group setting. “I said, ‘Absolutely not. I’m not giving my child a complex or making him think his body is something to be ashamed of. He’s 2 for god’s sake! He doesn’t understand anything about what is socially appropriate and telling him that penis is a bad word seems bizarre. And furthermore, I do not want you or anyone else to tell him not to say it either.’” The mother went on to tell her husband about the incident, but he ended up questioning her insistence on the issue. “He said everyone here says willy and it’s more socially acceptable. He said it was all my fault and the nursery was correct. I am genuinely blown away. Was I wrong?” The majority of the forum users sided with the mother. “God forbid we call body parts by their actual name,” one commented. “Of course there’s nothing bad about the word. Good on you for being so firm and calm and logical,” another added. Some suggested that context should be considered. “I don’t think the problem is with the word penis so much as the context of him running about saying, ‘l like my penis’,” one wrote.

Family & Pets

Pink's tough family lesson

Pink is a beloved star in her own right, with millions of adoring fans around the world. But unfortunately, when you attract such a large crowd, there are bound to be a few bad eggs. The mother-of-two learnt that the hard way after posting an image of her two children near-naked on her Instagram page. Thinking nothing of the innocent photo of the two youngsters observing a pelican near the water, the entertainer didn’t realise that so many of her followers would have a problem with it. The photo shows Willow topless and Jameson only wearing a t-shirt. The natural photo has an element of candidness to it, as it shows the bond of a mother with her children. But it wasn’t long before people took to the comment section to call out the 39-year-old, accusing her of exposing her children. Shortly after, uncomfortable comments on whether or not her son was circumcised started to come forward. Unfortunately, in the age of social media, regulating what people can and can’t say is next to impossible. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrhONxhEni/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvrhONxhEni/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">There’s something seriously wrong with a lot of you out there. Going off about my baby’s penis? About circumcision??? Are you for real? As any normal mother at the beach, I didn’t even notice he took off his swim diaper. I deleted it because you’re all fucking disgusting. And now I’m turning off my comments and shaking my head at the state of social media and keyboard warriors, And the negativity that you bring to other people’s lives. There is something seriously wrong with a lot of you out there. Smfh. Here’s a picture of the pelican we obviously caught and abused for hours before dangling baby penis in its face.</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/pink/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> P!NK</a> (@pink) on Mar 31, 2019 at 9:49am PDT </div> </blockquote> “There’s something seriously wrong with a lot of you out there,” wrote Pink on her Instagram, after receiving backlash. “Going off about my baby’s penis? About circumcision??? Are you for real? As any normal mother at the beach, I didn’t even notice he took off his swim diaper. “I deleted it because you’re all f****** disgusting. And now I’m turning off my comments and shaking my head at the state of social media and keyboard warriors, and the negativity that you bring to other people’s lives.” A lesson learned not only for Pink, but for everyone who shares photos of their children or grandchildren online. Before pressing upload, think about the future, and whether those kids would want those photos circulating when they’re older. Because what stays on the internet, remains on the internet. Do you think Pink has the right to be angry? Or are you against posting photos of children online? Let us know in the comments below.

Music

Woman's hilarious fashion fail goes viral: “Definitely something I would do!”

A blogger and mum-to-be has gone viral for her all-too-relatable mistake. Lori Farrell, who is currently expecting a baby girl, shared her fashion fail story on Friday in a self-deprecating Facebook post. Included was a picture of her wearing what appeared to be a striped skirt. She wrote in the caption, "If you feel like a failure today, just know that I wore a car seat cover a friend gave me because I thought it was a skirt." <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Flori.crabtree%2Fposts%2F10100779971009176&width=500" width="500" height="639" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> The post has now gone viral, with more than 36,000 comments and 64,000 shares at the time of writing. Farrell revealed to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mother.ly/news/viral-mom-wears-car-seat-cover-as-skirt" target="_blank">Motherly</a> how she mistook the cover for women's attire. "A friend of mine had given me a huge lot of baby stuff, from clothes to baby carriers to a rocker and blankets, and when I pulled it out I was not sure what it was," said Farrell, who told <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/car-seat-cover-skirt-mom_l_5c6aca2be4b033a799453532?ec_carp=1966303021225470550">HuffPost</a> that she is expecting her first child in June. "I debated it but washed it anyway then decided because of the way it pulled on the side it must be a maternity skirt." She put on the ambiguous item before she headed to work. At the office, she grew curious and searched the brand, only to find out that the item in question was in fact a "Mom Boss 4-in-1 Multi-Use Cover", which is to be used to cover car seats and shopping carts. Commenters laughed along with Farrell, with some reassuring her that she was working the 'skirt' just fine. "If it makes you feel better, I INTENTIONALLY did this a few times! I think it looks cute!" one wrote. "This is awesome and you look great in it anyhow," another added. "Definitely something I would do!” someone else chimed in. The seat cover brand, Itzy Ritzy, also applauded Farrell’s post as "the best thing we’ve seen maybe ever". <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt6s50oAwvd/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt6s50oAwvd/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Tag a friend this would totally happen to 🙈 Thanks for the best thing we’ve seen maybe ever, @lcrab1! #momboss</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/itzyritzy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Itzy Ritzy 🍋 Chicago IL</a> (@itzyritzy) on Feb 15, 2019 at 1:17pm PST </div> </blockquote> Have you ever made a fashion mishap like this? Share with us in the comments.

Beauty & Style

Mum outraged as niece gives baby same name as her own 4-week-old daughter

A new mum has taken to the internet forum <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3413436-niece-has-named-her-daughter-the-same-name-as-my-daughter?pg=1" target="_blank">Mumsnet</a> to express her disappointment after her niece gave her baby the same name as the poster's four-week-old daughter. The “hurt” mum caused quite a stir after she asked users if she has the right to be annoyed at her niece. The poster, who goes by the username GreyEyed, wrote: “My daughter was born 4 weeks ago (still in hospital) as she arrived premature. “Niece gave birth yesterday morning and named her the same name (although I’m putting a long version on the BC [birth certificate]). “I’m a bit hurt tbh [to be honest]. AIBU? [Am I being unreasonable?]” Her question garnered a mixed response, as many agreed with the mother and said that she has every right to feel upset, while others told her to get over it. “This would absolutely irritate me. Yes of course no one owns a name blah blah but seriously where’s the originality in using a very new baby’s name who will see you frequently. Also, a baby who is still in hospital. A bit off I think,” said one poster. Another commented saying: “It’s a ridiculous thing to do. I’d be really cross. Make sure your dd [darling daughter] isn’t dumped with the rubbish version so they can be told apart.” But others felt differently, as they advised the original poster to let it go. “If your daughter was prem then your niece would have probably used the name before you if your daughter was born term and had probably picked it out ages ago." “Maybe it was you that stole ‘her’ baby name op? Just a thought,” said a user. One poster questioned whether or not her niece was aware of the situation, as they asked: “Did she know in advance what you were naming your child? If she had a name picked for AGES and only just found out 4 days ago that you had the same one, then you can’t really blame her for going with it.” Do you think the mother has the right to be upset? Let us know in the comments below.

Family & Pets

Pink's daughter Willow rushed to hospital

Singer Pink was faced with a quite a scare yesterday as she had to rush her 7-year-old daughter to hospital after an accident in the playground. <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/entertainment/music/it-runs-in-the-family-pink-s-7-year-old-daughter-willow-can-seriously-sing" target="_blank">Willow Hart</a> was playing on the monkey bars like all children do before she fell and sprained her arm. But despite the mad rush to the hospital, the young girl has a positive attitude. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpjFxJGh4fK/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpjFxJGh4fK/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Monkey bars from hell. ER convos with my soulchild. #shesfine Her fav part of all of this is that she doesn’t have to do her chores.</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/pink/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> P!NK</a> (@pink) on Oct 30, 2018 at 12:07am PDT </div> </blockquote> “Monkey bars from hell. ER convos with my soulchild. #shesfine,” the singer wrote underneath a photo showing the mother and daughter in a deep conversation while in a hospital room. “Her fav part of all of this is that she doesn’t have to do her chores.” It didn’t take Willow long before she was running around again, but this time, there was an added sling. Her dad Carey Hart gushed over his girl, saying she’s as tough as they come. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpioUzkHuaI/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpioUzkHuaI/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Willz has her first ER trip today due to a crash and burn on the monkey bars. She is tough as nails and left w/ a sprain. #ProudPapa #BubbleWrapYourKids</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/hartluck/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Carey Hart</a> (@hartluck) on Oct 29, 2018 at 7:49pm PDT </div> </blockquote> “Willz [had] her first ER trip today due to a crash and burn on the monkey bars. She is tough as nails and left w/ a sprain,” wrote Hart, as he posted a photo of Willow with a sling around her arm. This isn’t the first health scare the family has had to deal with this year, as only two months ago, Pink and Carey’s 22-month-old son Jameson fell ill with with hand, foot and mouth disease during the pop star's tour in Australia. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BnBI56QDsYB/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BnBI56QDsYB/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Wanna know how glamorous tour can be? Jameson has hand, foot, and mouth; and willow has a 102 temp. Both kids laid up and mama @pink still has to push through and do shows. I had Jameson at breakfast yesterday and this vile woman at the table next to us kept staring at him with a shitty look on her face. I told her it was bed bugs 😂. #NoRestForTheWicked #LifeInHotels</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/hartluck/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Carey Hart</a> (@hartluck) on Aug 28, 2018 at 2:37am PDT </div> </blockquote> “Wanna know how glamorous tour can be? Jameson has hand, foot and mouth; and Willow has a 102 temp,” Carey shared on Instagram during the time of the incident. “Both kids laid up and mama @pink still has to push through and do shows.” And it wasn’t only her kids that had suffered with health problems. Pink also fell sick during her time in Australia which resulted in a number of cancelled Sydney shows. She was admitted to hospital twice, once for dehydration and then the second was due to a gastric virus. “We were absolutely planning on going ahead with the show, and about 20 minutes before I left for soundcheck, I was rushed to the hospital, in excruciating pain,” she wrote. “That was the reason for the late cancellation. It was out of anyone’s control, and of course, wasn’t planned that way." The singing sensation added, “I was discharged from hospital last night and am following doctors’ orders of liquids and rest.”

Music

The life-changing lesson Turia Pitt has learnt since becoming a mum

Turia Pitt is known to never slow down. As a woman driven by the thought of making her next move better than her last, a life changing event has taught her to take each day as it comes. She’s a survivor, after making it through the terrifying fire that caused severe burns across 65 per cent of her body and which didn’t change her outlook on life. Then there was competing in different marathons across the country – even while pregnant. But the athlete recently welcomed a baby boy into the world, her 10-month-old son Hakavai, and now that he’s her priority, Pitt has rethought her philosophy. “I no longer have any desire to do an Ironman,” Pitt told lifestyle magazine <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/how-turia-pitt-is-back-on-track-after-giving-birth/news-story/8646541de13b0fe05c6c998282507cc8">Stellar</a>. “Having a baby has changed me and when you become a mum you quickly realise your whole life fits in around your kids.” She became famous after she was labelled an inspiration for her strength through the tragedy that occurred while running an ultra-marathon in 2011. And while she is known for her resilience, she says that motherhood hasn’t reduced her passion or drive but has repurposed it. “I don’t want to be out running for five hours straight,” she said. “I know how precious life is and I’d rather be with my son.” But with Pitt, she’s always looking for a new challenge and this time round it’s the New Zealand Kathmandu Coast to Coast race next February which she is also an ambassador for. This will be the first race she will be competing in after giving birth, which is why she will be taking it slowly by competing in the 30km mountain run section. She hopes, that through the race, she gives women the message that any goal, regardless of how small, is important and motivating. “I don’t want to achieve anything crazy, I just want to get my fitness back and finish with a smile on my face,” she says. “These sorts of events are good for mums who are going through the motions of going to work, coming home, cooking dinner and doing the washing. It can be monotonous if there’s not something exciting happening or something to work towards and look forward to.” Pitt, 31, admits to being delusional as she assumed her son would be easy to raise. Instead he turned out like every other child who needs constant care and attention. “I thought I could live my life and spend time with Hakavai, but he is my life at the moment. I had no idea.”

Family & Pets

Rebecca Gibney's heartbreaking confession about her depression battle

Much-loved actor Rebecca Gibney has spoken candidly about her depression and anxiety, and the poignant turning points in her battle with mental health. In an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/rebecca-gibney-here-i-am-53-and-a-lesbian-heartthrob/news-story/d874ae702a2127733826edb5a69cb68b" target="_blank">Stella</a> magazine, the star of Wanted, Packed to the Rafters, and The Flying Doctors said that motherhood had a cathartic effect on her. “Motherhood doesn’t complete you, but being a mother to Zac did help me overcome some of my own issues because all of a sudden it became all about him,” she said of her son, now 14 years old. “I was at a point in my life where I needed that.” <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bobk0RvgtxH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bobk0RvgtxH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">When did that happen? 4 - 14. Happens in a blink 👁 I even miss the tantrums 🤷‍♀️ Love you Zac. You can stop growing now. XMum PS it’s not his birthday - I just looked at him last night and he is soooo big and grown up and beautiful..... my heart 💓</a> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/rebeccagibney_/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Rebecca Gibney</a> (@rebeccagibney_) on Oct 2, 2018 at 5:33am PDT </div> </blockquote> The actor admitted she experienced an “emotional collapse” in her early 30s, experiencing hourly panic attacks (she would even ask to be seated near an exit at the Logie Awards) and agoraphobia. She endured a difficult childhood – her father Austin Gibney was an alcoholic who sexually abused her mother Shirley Gibney. While she attempted to confront her issues at the time with a therapist, the star said it became too much. “I’d built up a library of self-loathing which I covered up with make-up and roles and pretending, but deep down I was dying inside,” she told the magazine. “I felt like a failure in my first marriage, I felt a failure as an actor because I was pretending, and I felt like a failure in my friendships because they weren’t real. A lot about me felt fake and I hated it.” But the Gold Logie winner found a novel way to deal with her frustration – smashing crockery. “I had all this rage and my therapist encouraged me to go to op shops and get crockery, which I’d go outside and smash on the ground. It’s a relief to get that anger out.” For the first time, Gibney spoke in detail about one of the hardest days of her life – the day she found herself contemplating suicide. It was a turning point in her ongoing battle with depression. “I’d been given prescription medication and on this particular day I put it all out on the coffee table and started writing a letter to my mum,” she said. “I got halfway through the letter and thought, ‘She’ll never understand. I can never do that to her.’ I started picturing my brothers and sisters and friends and I thought, ‘If I go through with this it will create way more pain for them than the pain I’m in now.’ I stopped, ripped up the letter and only told my mum years later. She was mortified and sad I didn’t tell her at the time.” The actor, who now lives in her native New Zealand with her son, and husband Richard Bell, after living in Australia for over 30 years, has found ways to deal with her anxiety, including breathing techniques. She also shares her mental health journey on social media in the hope they will offer hope to those suffering mental illness. “Perhaps they’ll think, ‘If it can happen to her, maybe I can take that extra breath, maybe I can go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and do something about it’.” If you are troubled by this article, experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call the Depression Helpline at 0800 111 757 or visit depression.org.nz.

Mind

Mum stirs heated debate online after asking if she should shave her 6-year-old’s legs

A mum has sparked an intense debate online after asking a controversial question on a parenting forum. The mum, who goes by the username TellerTuesday4Eva, posted on <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mumsnet.com/" target="_blank">Mumsnet</a> about whether she should shave her six-year-old daughter’s body hair. “A big part of me knows this is ridiculous, but there’s another part that wants [my daughter] to make her own choices,” she wrote. “She has and always has had very hairy legs and a hairy lower back. I presumed it was baby down, and would go away in time, but it hasn’t, and it’s gone darker as she’s gotten older.” The concerned mother mentioned that the body hair is affecting her daughter’s self-esteem as she notices other young girls her age are not dealing with the same issue. The poster did say that she has had conversations with her child about how all bodies are made differently but worries that the message isn’t coming across to her daughter. “In the summer she became aware of it,” she wrote. “She asked me if there was a way to get rid of the hair, we talked about it and everyone’s bodies being different. “Since she’s gone back to school she’s mentioned it again quite a few times. I have to point out here that nobody else has mentioned it, classmates etc. It’s [my daughter] herself that has the issue … she’s now getting upset about swimming and not wanting to go because she says when her legs get wet it looks worse. The hair’s quite long so when it gets wet and lays flat she is right in what she’s saying.” She asked for users on the site to offer their advice if they were in her situation. Surprisingly, she received an overwhelming amount of support, with many parents reacting positively to her daughter’s concern. “I was a very hairy child (well still am quite) and I desperately wanted to shave but my mum wouldn’t let me. I did it myself when I was 13 without my parents – with a cheap Bic razor! I think helping her is better than refusing and then her doing it herself,” wrote one user. “I would help her remove the hair. It’s really embarrassing being the first hairy girl and just because her peers haven’t noticed yet, doesn’t mean they won’t. She’s not comfortable with the hair on her legs, and given most women choose to remove theirs, she’s not expressing a controversial opinion that is likely to change when she gets older,” added another. “If when she’s a teen she decides to hell with it, she’d rather be hairy all over, the hair will grow back. It’s not an irreversible decision or something she’ll grow out of.” After sifting through all the advice that was given, the mum took to the forum to update everyone on how she spoke to her daughter and they both decided that removing the hair was the best way to go. “Thank you all so much for your replies. I was well prepared to get flamed, but overwhelmed with how supportive you’ve all been,” she wrote. “We’ve talked about it at length tonight and decided that we’ll try a mitt first to see what the outcome is.” Do you think the mum is making the right decision? Let us know in the comments below.

Body

Long lost photo series captures timeless nature of motherhood

A rediscovered long lost collection of photographs taken over 50 years ago captures the timeless nature of motherhood. American photographer Ken Heyman, whose career spanned seven decades and saw him photograph famous stars like Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe, recently received a call asking him to collect some of his work from a storage facility that was closing. There the 83-yer-old photographer stumbled across a folder titled “Mother”. Inside was stacks of intimate images of mothers with their children that he shot in the 60s when travelling the world for a photography book called Family, released in 1965. The Pulitzer-nominated book sold over a quarter million copies and was one of the ten biggest selling photography books at the time. Scroll through the gallery above to see the timeless and poignant portrayals of mother and child. Do you have a cherished photo that captures a beautiful moment with your child? Share it with us in the comments below. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/a-letter-to-by-new-granddaughter/">A letter to my baby granddaughter I’ve yet to meet</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/tips-to-avoid-family-dramas/">5 tips to avoid family dramas</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/grandparents-share-timeless-love-advice-kids/">Grandparents share timeless love advice with grandkids</a>

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How one brave mum is shedding light on postnatal depression through the healing power of music

Jennifer Aniston bares all to share struggles with infertility

Planning, stress and worry put the mental load on mothers – will 2022 be the year they share the burden?

"Bedtime fail": Jacinda Arden interrupted during live address

Controversial photo of mum and baby divides the internet

Grandma gives birth to own granddaughter

“My son hates me”: Mum issues desperate plea

Duchess Kate gets candid about motherhood in new interview

Duchess Meghan opens up about motherhood and her status as a royal

Michelle Obama’s motherhood advice leaves Duchess Meghan speechless

Mother mortified by daycare worker's complaint about her son

Pink's tough family lesson

Woman's hilarious fashion fail goes viral: “Definitely something I would do!”

Mum outraged as niece gives baby same name as her own 4-week-old daughter

Pink's daughter Willow rushed to hospital

The life-changing lesson Turia Pitt has learnt since becoming a mum

Rebecca Gibney's heartbreaking confession about her depression battle

Mum stirs heated debate online after asking if she should shave her 6-year-old’s legs

Long lost photo series captures timeless nature of motherhood

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

How one brave mum is shedding light on postnatal depression through the healing power of music

Jennifer Aniston bares all to share struggles with infertility

Planning, stress and worry put the mental load on mothers – will 2022 be the year they share the burden?

"Bedtime fail": Jacinda Arden interrupted during live address

Controversial photo of mum and baby divides the internet

Grandma gives birth to own granddaughter

“My son hates me”: Mum issues desperate plea

Duchess Kate gets candid about motherhood in new interview

Duchess Meghan opens up about motherhood and her status as a royal

Michelle Obama’s motherhood advice leaves Duchess Meghan speechless

Mother mortified by daycare worker's complaint about her son

Pink's tough family lesson

Woman's hilarious fashion fail goes viral: “Definitely something I would do!”

Mum outraged as niece gives baby same name as her own 4-week-old daughter

Pink's daughter Willow rushed to hospital

The life-changing lesson Turia Pitt has learnt since becoming a mum

Rebecca Gibney's heartbreaking confession about her depression battle

Mum stirs heated debate online after asking if she should shave her 6-year-old’s legs

Long lost photo series captures timeless nature of motherhood

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