Relationships

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Never seen before snap: How Robert Irwin hilariously helped prep for Bindi’s big proposal

<p>Bindi and Chandler only just tied the knot in an intimate and emotional private ceremony last week at Australia Zoo, but it has only just been revealed that Robert Irwin played a big role in helping his brother-in-law prep for the big proposal.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-KCyAlh_LY/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-KCyAlh_LY/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Chandler Powell (@chandlerpowell)</a> on Mar 25, 2020 at 5:39am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Chandler initially met his wife in 2013 after his family took a tour of the famous Australian Zoo that has become a national treasure thanks to Bindi’s dad, Croc hunter Steve Irwin.</p> <p>From there, the couple fell in love and last year on Bindi’s 21st birthday, Chandler popped down on one knee and asked his long-term girlfriend to marry him. The moment was one that the 21-year-old Australian conservationist labelled as the “most beautiful surprise.”</p> <p>The special moment was elevated by the help of her little brother Robert who secretly photographed his family’s intimate proposal.</p> <p>“We were in the gardens of Australia Zoo and it was beyond perfect. I never even knew Robert was there photographing and I’ll always be grateful to have these special memories of the most amazing day of my life.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0UaYDXBCNg/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0UaYDXBCNg/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)</a> on Jul 24, 2019 at 5:04pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>However, a<span> </span><a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/freuye/if_youre_in_need_of_wholesome_content_robert/" target="_blank">reddit</a><span> </span>post has shared a hilarious gaffe between Robert and Chandler.</p> <p>The photograph featured Powell getting on one knee with his arms outstretched to none other than Rob.  </p> <p>The caption of the post reads: “If you’re in need of wholesome content, Robert Irwin helped Bindi’s now husband practice the proposal.”</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.20805369127515px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7835391/irwin-famikly-3.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/adcd038893d44a0ba456751b49624656" /></p> <blockquote class="reddit-card" data-card-created="1585625717"><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/freuye/if_youre_in_need_of_wholesome_content_robert/">If you’re in need of wholesome content, Robert Irwin helped Bindi’s now husband practice the proposal</a> from <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/aww">r/aww</a></em></blockquote> <p>It appears the snap of Rob and Chandler mucking around originates from the family’s show<span> </span><em>Crikey! It’s The Irwins.</em></p> <p>The post amassed over 800 comments after just 24 hours online, with one writing: Talk about a wholesome family. The Irwins never fail to impress me with their positivity and genuine spirit. I'm grateful for them right now especially.”</p> <p>Another added: “They're basically our version of a royal family.”</p> <p>Chandler took to social media to share a photograph of Bindi cosying up to a koala in her arms.</p> <p>“My beautiful wife,” he wrote, alongside a love heart emoji. </p> <p>It was just last week that he first took to social media since tying the knot with his bride to write: “We’re finally married! Today, March 25, 2020, marks the most amazing day of my life. I married my best friend.”</p> <p>“After almost a year of planning, we changed everything so that we could enjoy a safe and small private ceremony at our home, Australia Zoo. As we embark on this new life chapter I hope that we can share some love in the world, especially during this challenging time.”</p>

Relationships

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4 tips for staying connected during coronavirus

<p>As social distancing and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-stay-at-home-order.html">shelter-in-place orders</a> are implemented to curb the spread of coronavirus, ever more people worldwide are separated from relatives, friends and loved ones. As of March 29, an estimated <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-stay-at-home-order.html">229 million Americans</a>, <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/coronavirus-has-italy-lockdown-what-rest-us-have-look-forward-n1155396">60 million Italians</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2020/mar/25/modi-announces-coronavirus-lockdown-to-save-india-video">1.3 billion Indians</a> have been asked to stay home.</p> <p>Forced separation, while new to most, is a fact of life for the world’s <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/psp.2165">migrants</a>. Still, many sustain close relationships with relatives through years, even decades, of physical distance.</p> <p>As a <a href="https://www.umass.edu/anthro/people/lynnette-arnold">linguistic anthropologist interested in the power of everyday language</a>, I study how such families maintain relationships by analyzing recordings of their conversations. I worked with migrant families living stretched between El Salvador and the United States to record 75 hours of these conversations over four months.</p> <p>I’ve identified four communication strategies of long-distance families that may help people in coronavirus-related isolation cope with physical separation and maintain social connection.</p> <p><strong>1. Nothing beats a good phone call</strong></p> <p>As <a href="https://www.aithority.com/video/zoom-downloads-increase-1270-from-employers-working-from-home/">millions more people</a> rely on video-conferencing technology, they’re discovering what migrant families have long known: Video communication can be draining – physically, mentally and emotionally.</p> <p>For work-related video conferencing, the challenges include preparing yourself and your immediate surroundings for broadcast. For families, studies show, seeing those you love on video <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1367877912452486">can make feelings of separation more intense</a>, increasing the yearning to be together.</p> <p>Text messages and other written communication, on the other hand, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1461444810393903">can feel too impersonal</a> and may not be accessible to those – like young children – who can’t read, or to people with visual impairments.</p> <p>That’s why the families in my research rely on phone calls for almost all of their communication. Calls are intimate. Hearing a loved one’s voice can convey emotions without the constant visual reminders of separation.</p> <p><strong>2. Communicate to connect</strong></p> <p>Communication isn’t just about conveying information – it’s also a <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01459740.2020.1717490?scroll=top&amp;needAccess=true">way of caring for others</a>. The long-distance families I study use small acts of communication to reinforce their intimate bonds.</p> <p>Take greetings, for instance. In the phone calls I have analyzed, greetings almost always sound something like this: “I send greetings to you, to my grandchildren, to my daughter-in-law and to all those who surround you.”</p> <p>Such elaborated greetings articulate family relationships that stretch across space. They are an instance of the everyday <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/ritual-communication-9781847882950/">ritual that linguistic anthropologists have shown to be powerful communicative tools</a> in societies around the world.</p> <p>As migrant families speak these greetings over and over, in every conversation, they continually create and re-create connections despite distance. That’s because communication has <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/43102167?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents">consequences beyond the moment</a> in which it happens. Research shows that migrant families are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01459740.2018.1532424">aware of how the effects of conversations accumulate</a> over time.</p> <p><strong>3. Manage conflict carefully</strong></p> <p>These long-distance relatives have also developed strategies for communicating about conflict, which is inevitable in any family, and minimizing its consequences.</p> <p>By and large, the conversations I analyzed avoid explicit disagreement and signal concerns in subtle ways.</p> <p>For instance, if relatives in El Salvador don’t have enough money to cover their day-to-day costs, they embed indirect complaints as they recount family news. A story of their father’s visit to the doctor, for instance, will include a quote from him lamenting that he cannot afford his new prescription.</p> <p>This communication strategy puts family problems on the table for discussion without placing blame.</p> <p><strong>4. Celebrate the past – and a future together</strong></p> <p>Communication has the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0271530907000067">ability to span not just distance but time</a>.</p> <p>The migrant families I study often reminisce about times when they lived together, recalling humorous incidents or past mishaps that lead to shared laughter. This isn’t just nostalgia: Separated relatives leverage these shared memories to imagine what it might be like to live together again.</p> <p>For example, two sisters talk about how they once shared household tasks, using these memories to imagine a scenario in which the migrant sister could play with the young niece she’s never met.</p> <p>The future is uncertain for migrant families. Many hope and plan to be together again, but restrictive immigration policies often <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/663575?seq=1#metadata_info_tab_contents">prevent relatives from reuniting or even visiting each other</a>.</p> <p>For those locked down by coronavirus, the isolation should end in weeks or months. In the meantime, thoughtful communication can help sustain long-distance relationships.</p> <p>And even after this crisis passes, I hope these lessons from migrant families will continue to enrich conversation and deepen social connections.<!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lynnette-arnold-998253"><em>Lynnette Arnold</em></a><em>, Assistant Professor of Anthropology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-massachusetts-amherst-1563">University of Massachusetts Amherst</a></em></span></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-tips-for-staying-connected-during-coronavirus-from-migrants-who-live-far-from-family-134362">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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How to keep your relationship intact through the coronavirus lockdown

<p>With the raft of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/resources/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-information-on-social-distancing">social distancing measures</a> in place to control the spread of coronavirus, you may be spending more time with your partner than ever before.</p> <p>If you’re both working from home, and with nowhere to go out to in the evenings, there’s a chance you might start to get on each other’s nerves. Perhaps it’s happening already.</p> <p>This is normal, particularly given the increased stress we’re all feeling right now. But since we could be in this predicament for a while yet, it’s worth taking steps to ensure we get through this period with our relationships intact. We might even be able to come out stronger.</p> <p><strong>Steering clear of the Four Horsemen</strong></p> <p>American psychology researcher John Gottman <a href="https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/uploads/resources/A-theory-of-marital-dissolution-and-stability.pdf">proposed</a> certain behaviours, or the “<a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/">Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse</a>”, lead to the dissolution of romantic relationships.</p> <p>The first horseman is <a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-criticism/">criticism</a>. This behaviour is defined as an attack on your partner’s character, as distinct from offering a critique or voicing a specific complaint.</p> <p>Particularly at a time like this, you might be keeping track of your partner’s flaws but not saying anything so as to avoid conflict. But bottled up, anger and frustration will turn to resentment, which you may express by criticising your partner.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-relationships-research/article/defining-romantic-selfsabotage-a-thematic-analysis-of-interviews-with-practising-psychologists/35531B41927851905281C7D815FE4199/share/ed27f1606df159cf7e3240f5c3136174c4991fe0">Psychologists explain</a> criticism includes inflexible “always” and “never” statements such as “you always have to have the last word” or “you never listen”.</p> <p>The second horseman is <a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-contempt/">contempt</a>. This behaviour is defined as an insult to your partner. People might do this verbally using sarcasm, or simply by rolling their eyes.</p> <p>An example is when your partner is talking to you and you say “here we go again” without mindfully listening to what they are trying to say.</p> <p>The third horseman is <a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-defensiveness/">defensiveness</a>. This behaviour is defined as a counterattack, most often in response to perceived criticism. People use this as a strategy to protect themselves when they are feeling victimised. They assign their partner responsibility for causing them pain.</p> <p>You might be exhibiting defensiveness if you’re <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-relationships-research/article/defining-romantic-selfsabotage-a-thematic-analysis-of-interviews-with-practising-psychologists/35531B41927851905281C7D815FE4199/share/ed27f1606df159cf7e3240f5c3136174c4991fe0">constantly feeling criticised</a>, misunderstood and blamed by your partner without cause, and have an “I am right and they are wrong” attitude.</p> <p>The fourth horseman is <a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-stonewalling/">stonewalling</a>. This behaviour is defined by elaborate manoeuvres to avoid interacting with a partner. People who stonewall will often stop communicating with their partner, with the exception of negative non-verbal gestures.</p> <p><strong>Turn this crisis into an opportunity</strong></p> <p>People deal with stressful situations by rationalising the best way to protect themselves. This might mean pushing your partner away using the four horsemen.</p> <p>Gottman estimated these behaviours are <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/">90% accurate</a> in predicting relationship dissolution if not addressed. In his research, couples exhibiting all four horsemen who divorced did so on average 5.6 years after marriage.</p> <p>A <a href="https://eprints.usq.edu.au/37136/">lack of relationship skills</a> – that’s not being open to finding solutions and not admitting any fault for relationship breakdown – is another key contributor to relationship dissolution. So it’s important to do your best to work on your relationship at this time.</p> <p>As well as making an effort to avoid the four horsemen, here are some other tips for how you and your partner can emerge from this crisis with your relationship intact – if not improved:</p> <ul> <li> <p>monitor the balance between positive and negative interactions with your partner. Aim for a <a href="https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/">ratio of 5:1</a></p> </li> <li> <p>own your feelings: use “I” statements to voice your needs as opposed to “you” statements to explain what your partner needs to do or change</p> </li> <li> <p>listen to your partner’s feelings and validate their response to this crisis as being OK. Don’t become defensive and attack your partner for how they feel or act</p> </li> <li> <p>reassure your partner of their safety. Have a conversation about what safety means to both of you and how you plan to keep yourselves and other members the household safe. This might also include an exercise of discerning facts from myths around the current crisis</p> </li> <li> <p>make a new routine with your partner to fit around working at home and family commitments at home. This routine needs to include quality couple time (don’t be afraid to touch, be intimate with and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/25/can-i-have-sex-coronavirus-expert-advice-kissing-dating">have sex with</a> your partner if you’re both healthy)</p> </li> <li> <p>this new routine also needs to include time apart. Give each other time to work on individual hobbies and take it in turns looking after the kids or other family members at home</p> </li> <li> <p>make plans with your partner for after the crisis is over. It’s important to accept the reality, but also acknowledge this is not permanent. Planning can help keep you positive and motivated to stay safe</p> </li> <li> <p>use this time to practise healthier habits such as eating well, sleeping, exercising, practising mindfulness and learning a new skill. These things improve mental well-being and if done together, can help build intimacy.</p> </li> </ul> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/raquel-peel-368041"><em>Raquel Peel</em></a><em>, Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a></em></span></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-coronavirus-lockdown-could-test-your-relationship-heres-how-to-keep-it-intact-and-even-improve-it-134532">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Thai king self isolates with 20 concubines during coronavirus pandemic

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>Thailand’s controversial king is self-isolating in a luxury four-star hotel with his harem of 20 concubines.</p> <p>King Maha Vajiralongkorn, also known as Rama X, has angered many with his decision to self-isolate in the hotel.</p> <p>He is said to have booked out the Grand Hotel Sonnenbichl after the hotel received “special permission” from the district council to accommodate his party.</p> <p>His group includes a harem of 20 concubines and numerous servants, but it is currently unclear as to whether or not his four wives are in the hotel with the rest of the group.</p> <p>A spokesperson for the local district council has defended the choice to let the king stay there as “the guests are a single homogenous group of people with no fluctuation”, despite guesthouses and hotels in the region being ordered to close down.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BLL-P4Mj7mc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BLL-P4Mj7mc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Grand Hotel Sonnenbichl (@grandhotelsonnenbichl)</a> on Oct 5, 2016 at 8:57am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>119 members of the entourage have reportedly been sent back to Thailand on suspicions they have contracted coronavirus.</p> <p>News of Vajiralongkorn’s self-isolation in a luxury location was met with anger by thousands of Thai people who criticised him online.</p> <p>This is despite the lèse-majesté laws that are currently in place, which means that criticising the royal family is illegal and punished with imprisonment for up to 15 years. A Thai hashtag, which translate to “Why do we need a king?” appeared 1.2 million times on Twitter after an activist claimed that the king was travelling on holiday in Germany while the outbreak continued to ravage Thailand.</p> <p>Activist Somsak Jeamteerasakul is a vocal critic of Thailand’s monarchy and said in one post that the King will let the Thai people worry about the virus.</p> <p>“[Vajiralongkorn will] let the Thai people worry about the virus. Even Germany is worried about the virus [but] it’s none of his business.”</p> <p>The Thai king has not made a public appearance in his hoem country since February.</p> </div> </div> </div>

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How women dress for other women

<p>“If you can’t be better than your competition,” Vogue editor <a href="https://www.biography.com/media-figure/anna-wintour">Anna Wintour</a> <a href="https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/anna-wintour-job-interview-fashion-advice.html">once said</a>, “just dress better.”</p> <p>Indeed, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550619882028">new research</a> suggests that women don’t just dress to be fashionable, or to outdo one another when it comes to enticing men. They also dress for other women.</p> <p>But Wintour’s quote misses some of the nuances that go into the outfits women choose with female friends, co-workers and acquaintances in mind. It’s not just about dressing better. In fact, my colleagues and I found that women can be motivated by another factor: avoiding the slings and arrows of other women.</p> <p><strong>The psychology of women’s wardrobes</strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.kremslab.com/">My social psychology lab</a> explores how women navigate their social relationships with other women. With my co-authors, Oklahoma State graduate student Ashley M. Rankin and Arizona State University graduate student Stefanie Northover, I recently studied what goes into women’s fashion choices.</p> <p>Of course, both men and women consider a variety of concerns when selecting their outfits: cost, fit, occasion.</p> <p>Existing psychological research on women’s clothing choices tends to center on how women dress for men – the <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-13781-001">makeup</a>, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01875/full">shoes</a> and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S002210311200203X">colors</a> they select <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article/37/6/921/1868588">to impress the opposite sex</a>.</p> <p>But we posed a different question: How might women dress for other women?</p> <p>For over a century, psychologists have been interested in competition between men. Only over the past few decades have researchers started to seriously look into how women <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780199376377.001.0001">actively compete with one another</a>.</p> <p>The competition isn’t necessarily nice. Like men who compete with one another, <a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2013.0079">women can be aggressive</a> toward other women they’re competing with. But it’s rarely the physical kind. Instead, social scientists like <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797611402511">Joyce Benenson</a>, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/1098-2337%281994%2920%3A1%3C27%3A%3AAID-AB2480200105%3E3.0.CO%3B2-Q">Kaj Bjorkqvist</a> and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513805000942">Nicole Hess</a> have shown that women are more prone to rely on social exclusion and reputation-damaging gossip.</p> <p>So we wondered: Do women ever dress defensively – to mitigate the chance that other women might go after them?</p> <p>We know that women who are <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ab.20252">physically attractive</a> and who wear revealing clothing are more likely to be targets of same-sex aggression. For example, psychologists Tracy Vaillancourt and Aanchal Sharma <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ab.20413">found</a> that women behaved more aggressively toward an attractive woman when she was dressed in a short skirt and low-cut shirt than when that exact same woman wore khakis and a crewneck.</p> <p>We reasoned that women would be aware of this dynamic – and some would try to avoid it. So we tested this theory <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550619882028">in a series of experiments</a>.</p> <p><strong>Dressing defensively</strong></p> <p>First, we studied whether people would expect women to be aggressive toward attractive, scantily clad women.</p> <p>We asked 142 people to read a scenario about two women, Carol and Sara, who met for coffee after connecting on a friend-finder app that was like Tinder, but for platonic relationships. We asked the participants how they thought Carol would treat Sara during an otherwise uneventful coffee date. Although the scenarios were the same, some people saw a photo of Sara that depicted her as an attractive woman wearing khakis and a crewneck; others saw a photo of her wearing a low-cut shirt and short-skirt; and a third group saw her in the more revealing outfit, but the image had been photoshopped to make her look less physically attractive.</p> <p>We found that when Sara was attractive and revealingly dressed, people expected Carol would be meaner to Sara.</p> <p>We then wanted to see whether women would also act on the awareness of this dynamic, so we ran a series of experiments with college-aged and adult women from the U.S.</p> <p>For a set of two studies, we instructed female participants to imagine that they were going to meet new people in a professional setting, like a networking event, or at a social gathering, such as a birthday party. They were also told to imagine the event as either single-sex or mixed-sex.</p> <p>In the first, we asked women to draw their ideal outfits for those events, and we later had undergraduate research assistants measure how much skin was revealed. In the second, we asked women to choose outfits from a menu of options – akin to shopping for clothes online. Each of the possible outfits had been rated for modesty by a separate set of participants.</p> <p>In both studies, women chose more revealing outfits for social events than professional ones. This wasn’t surprising. But interestingly, women chose less revealing outfits to meet up with an all-female group – regardless of whether it was a professional or social setting.</p> <p>But wouldn’t the more revealing clothing in mixed-group settings simply reflect their desire to attract men?</p> <p>Not exactly. Not all women dressed the same for other women. The women who rated themselves as more physically attractive were the ones who chose more modest outfits when meeting up with a group of women. This supports the idea that they were dressing defensively – to avoid bringing attention to themselves and being targeted by the other women.</p> <p>Because same-sex aggression is more likely to come from <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/behavioral-and-brain-sciences/article/dominating-versus-eliminating-the-competition-sex-differences-in-human-intrasexual-aggression/620855F9C921ABDB13F463277AA5ADCB">strangers than friends</a>, in our final experiment we asked 293 young women, aged 18 to 40, what they would wear to meet up with a prospective female friend. Again, we found that more physically attractive women indicated that they would dress with more discretion.</p> <p>Together, these findings show that women don’t always dress to impress. Nor do they dress to aggress. Instead, there’s a more subtle social dance taking place – one that involves humility, hesitance and heightened awareness.<!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jaimie-arona-krems-878631">Jaimie Arona Krems</a>, Assistant Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/oklahoma-state-university-2062">Oklahoma State University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-women-dress-for-other-women-130573">original article</a>.</em></p>

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New York wedding officiated from fourth-floor window amid social distancing

<p>As weddings around the world are being cancelled or postponed due to the ongoing coronavirus outbreak, a New York couple has found a way to carry on with their nuptials – by having a friend officiate the ceremony from a fourth-floor window.</p> <p>Reilly Jennings and Amanda Wheeler tied the knot on Friday on a small sidewalk in the city. Their friend Matt Wilson, who is a licensed marriage officiant, led the ceremony from his fourth-floor apartment window as part of social distancing efforts. The couple exchanged their vows as a few friends stood witness from several metres away.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B9_98yxpw7Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B9_98yxpw7Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Reilly Jennings (@reillyjennings)</a> on Mar 21, 2020 at 7:47am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Jennings and Wheeler initially planned to wed in October, but decided to have a quick courthouse wedding amid concerns “that things weren’t going back to normal for quite a while”.</p> <p>Jennings said Wilson texted them on group chat, letting them know he was ordained by the county clerk of New York and could help them “get hitched”.</p> <p>“We texted, ‘Wanna marry us outside your window in the next 24hrs?’ and he said ‘YES!’” Jennings told <em>CNN</em>.</p> <p>“To that I replied, ‘How about in 90 minutes?’ We both finished up work meetings, got dressed, picked up some flowers, and headed to his apartment around the corner.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9-kCC8Jfca/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9-kCC8Jfca/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Reilly Jennings (@reillyjennings)</a> on Mar 20, 2020 at 6:39pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The wedding came as businesses were closed and residents of the US city were told to keep their distance and stay indoors where possible.</p> <p>Speaking to <em><a href="https://www.eonline.com/au/news/1133191/couple-marries-on-new-york-street-as-friend-officiates-wedding-from-3-floors-up">E!News</a></em>, Jennings said she and Wheeler will remember “the overwhelming sense of joy and love amidst a scary and uncertain time”.</p>

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Three lifelong friends collectively self-isolate together

<p>A trio of lifelong friends in the UK have decided to ride out the coronavirus pandemic in isolation together.</p> <p>Doreen Burns, Carol Spark and Dotty Robinson were interviewed on<span> </span>BBC Breakfast<span> </span>on Thursday to share details of their situation.</p> <p>Burns explained to BBC host Jayne McCubbin in a video chat that they had already spent a week apart in their own homes just to be sure that each person is “fit and well” before deciding whose home to live in.</p> <div id="fb-root"></div> <div class="fb-video" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/videos/538215660140428/"> <blockquote class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/videos/538215660140428/">Coronavirus | Isolating with friends</a> <p>🥰🥰 Lifelong friends Doreen, Dotty and Carol have been through divorce and loss together. Now they're planning on getting through isolation together, literally ⤵️</p> Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/bbcbreakfast/">BBC Breakfast</a> on Wednesday, March 18, 2020</blockquote> </div> <p>“We’re in Carol’s at the moment,” Burns says, gesturing to her friend in the middle. “Dotty’s got a lovely, long back garden, which would be great for exercising.”</p> <p>“Mine has as well,” Spark interjects, before clarifying that it’s more of a yard — a “yarden,” she says.</p> <p>The three amigos have admitted that they might need a little space from time to time.</p> <p>“I have got a front room, in case we get tetchy with each other,” says Burns. “That might be handy.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">💕 "You must never underestimate the value of friendship"<br />Dotty, Carol and Doreen chose to isolate together. <a href="https://twitter.com/JayneMcCubbinTV?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@JayneMcCubbinTV</a><br />has caught up with them (from a distance)... <a href="https://t.co/iGIvunudC3">pic.twitter.com/iGIvunudC3</a></p> — BBC Breakfast (@BBCBreakfast) <a href="https://twitter.com/BBCBreakfast/status/1241480201160101888?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 21, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>The pair were interviewed again after the video went viral, as so many people fell in love with them worldwide and called the trio “the real life Golden Girls”.</p> <p>“I said to Doreen on the phone, ‘if we all have to go into lockdown for 12 weeks, they’ll find me dead with all colouring books on the floor, with a notice on saying “I have died of loneliness’.</p> <p>After that phone call, the trio decided to self-quarantine together so that they won’t be apart and will be safe during isolation.</p>

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How to talk to someone you believe is misinformed about the coronavirus

<p>The medical evidence is clear: The coronavirus global health threat is not an elaborate hoax. Bill Gates did not create the coronavirus to sell more vaccines. Essential oils are <a href="https://nccih.nih.gov/health/in-the-news-in-the-news-coronavirus-and-alternative-treatments">not effective</a> at protecting you from coronavirus.</p> <p>But those facts have not stopped contrary claims from spreading both on and offline.</p> <p>No matter the topic, people often hear conflicting information and must decide which sources to trust. The internet and the fast-paced news environment mean that information travels quickly, leaving little time for fact-checking.</p> <p>As a <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=Li4FgBUAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">researcher</a> interested in science communication and controversies, I study how scientific misinformation spreads and how to correct it.</p> <p>I’ve been very busy lately. Whether we are talking about the coronavirus, climate change, vaccines or something else, <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/05/tech/facebook-google-who-coronavirus-misinformation/index.html">misinformation abounds</a>. Maybe you have shared something on Facebook that turned out to be false, or retweeted something before <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-disinformation-130767">double-checking the source</a>. <a href="https://www.unlv.edu/news/article/future-alternative-facts">This can happen</a> to anyone.</p> <p>It’s also common to encounter people who are misinformed but don’t know it yet. It’s one thing to double-check your own information, but what’s the best way to talk to someone else about what they think is true – but which is not true?</p> <p><strong>Is it worth engaging?</strong></p> <p>First, consider the context of the situation. Is there enough time to engage them in a conversation? Do they seem interested in and open to discussion? Do you have a personal connection with them where they value your opinion?</p> <p>Evaluating the situation can help you decide whether you want to start a conversation to correct their misinformation. Sometimes we interact with people who are closed-minded and not willing to listen. <a href="https://rightingamerica.net/when-the-juice-is-not-worth-the-squeeze-distinguishing-between-productive-and-unproductive-conversations/">It’s OK</a> not to engage with them.</p> <p>In interpersonal interactions, correcting misinformation can be helped by the strength of the relationship. For example, it may be easier to correct misinformation held by a family member or partner because they are already aware that you care for them and you are interested in their well-being.</p> <p><strong>Don’t patronize</strong></p> <p>One approach is to engage in a back-and-forth discussion about the topic. This is often called a <a href="https://theconversation.com/understanding-christians-climate-views-can-lead-to-better-conversations-about-the-environment-115693">dialogue</a> approach to communication.</p> <p>That means you care about the person behind the opinion, even when you disagree. It is important not to enter conversations with a patronizing attitude. For example, when talking to climate change skeptics, the <a href="https://www.npr.org/2017/05/09/527541032/there-must-be-more-productive-ways-to-talk-about-climate-change">attitude</a> that the speaker holds toward an audience affects the success of the interaction and can lead to conversations ending before they’ve started.</p> <p>Instead of treating the conversation as a corrective lecture, treat the other person as an equal partner in the discussion. One way to create that common bond is to acknowledge the shared struggles of locating accurate information. Saying that there is a lot of information circulating can help someone feel comfortable changing their opinion and accepting new information, instead of <a href="https://bigthink.com/age-of-engagement/study-warns-of-boomerang-effects-in-climate-change-campaigns">resisting and sticking to</a> their previous beliefs to avoid admitting they were wrong.</p> <p>Part of creating dialogue is asking questions. For example, if someone says that they heard coronavirus was all a hoax, you might ask, “That’s not something I’d heard before, what was the source for that?” By being interested in their opinion and not rejecting it out of hand, you open the door for conversation about the information and can engage them in evaluating it.</p> <p><strong>Offer to trade information</strong></p> <p>Another strategy is to introduce the person to new sources. In my <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Communication-Strategies-for-Engaging-Climate-Skeptics-Religion-and-the/Bloomfield/p/book/9781138585935">book</a>, I discuss a conversation I had with a climate skeptic who did not believe that scientists had reached a 97% consensus on the existence of climate change. They dismissed this well-established number by referring to nonscientific sources and blog posts. Instead of rejecting their resources, I offered to trade with them. For each of their sources I read, they would read one of mine.</p> <p>It is likely that the misinformation people have received is not coming from a credible source, so you can propose an alternative. For example, you could offer to send them an article from the <a href="http://cdc.gov/">Centers for Disease Control</a> for medical and health information, the <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/">Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change</a> for environmental information, or the reputable debunking site <a href="http://snopes.com/">Snopes</a> to compare the information. If someone you are talking to is open to learning more, encourage that continued curiosity.</p> <p>It is sometimes hard, inconvenient, or awkward to engage someone who is misinformed. But I feel very strongly that opening ourselves up to have these conversations can help to correct misinformation. To ensure that society can make the best decisions about important topics, share accurate information and combat the spread of misinformation.<!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emma-frances-bloomfield-712710">Emma Frances Bloomfield</a>, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-nevada-las-vegas-826">University of Nevada, Las Vegas</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-someone-you-believe-is-misinformed-about-the-coronavirus-133044">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Why perfume could be the riskiest gift you’ll ever buy

<p>When it comes to making careful plans to impress that significant other, certain things can seem like musts. Classy restaurant – check. Romantic atmosphere – check. Best suit or little black dress – check.</p> <p>Many will pay just as much attention to how they smell, of course. And if it’s a special occasion, a gift of perfume might well be on the agenda too. Either way, read on. There are some must-knows about the science of smell and perfume that may well be new to you.</p> <p><strong>The nose knows</strong></p> <p>Smell is the <a href="http://www.cambridge.org/gb/academic/subjects/life-sciences/animal-behaviour/pheromones-and-animal-behavior-chemical-signals-and-signatures-2nd-edition">dominant sense</a> in many animals, including humans, and meetings between individuals usually begin with a period of intense mutual sniffing. From this olfactory exploration, animals glean relevant information about a potential mate’s fertility and quality, enabling decisions about whether to breed now or wait until someone better comes along.</p> <p>While our greetings tend to be more reserved, research on the perception of human body odour reveals that similar messages lurk within our armpits. Researchers commonly test such perceptions using armpit odour collected on worn t-shirts or underarm pads, the wearers having been asked to avoid using fragranced products beforehand.</p> <p>In <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1439-0310.2006.01125.x/abstract">experimental tests</a>, men find women’s odour more pleasant and sexy when they are in the fertile part of their menstrual cycle than at other times. Women are more attracted to odours of men who have attractive non-olfactory qualities, such as being <a href="http://rsbl.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/1/3/256">socially dominant</a>, <a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/266/1422/869">facially attractive</a>, or having an <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21879430">air of confidence</a> about them. So smells are important when assessing partners, <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886908002250">especially for women</a>.</p> <p>Our body’s natural smells also appear to provide a for couples to check out their genetic compatibility. Research using the same t-shirt method <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19054623">indicates that</a> both sexes prefer the odour of potential partners who are genetically dissimilar when it comes to a set of genes known as the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). A range of other vertebrates, from fish and reptiles to birds and mammals, <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1439-0310.2002.00768.x/abstract">show the same smell preference</a>, apparently because this ultimately produces healthier offspring.</p> <p><strong>Arcane aromas</strong></p> <p>So where do perfumes fit into the picture? Applying perfume to the body <a href="http://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780199586073.001.0001/acprof-9780199586073-chapter-0020">probably emerged</a> as a means of disguising the build-up of odour on clothing, which in times past was often worn for weeks or months at a time. Because ingredients were expensive, perfumes were associated with high social status.</p> <p>There are numerous references to people using perfume in ancient scripts including the <a href="http://www.kubik.org/health/perfumes.htm">Old Testament</a> and the writings of the Roman natural historian <a href="http://blogs.getty.edu/iris/the-scent-of-love-ancient-perfumes/">Pliny the Elder</a>. The oldest known perfume factory, <a href="http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/03/070329-oldest-perfumes.html">discovered 12 years ago</a> near the Cypriot town of Pyrgos, dates back about 4000 years.</p> <p><strong>Eau de yes please</strong></p> <p>Nowadays, of course, perfumes are relatively cheap and accessible. Despite this and the advent of washing machines and ventilated kitchens, we continue to use them. The social stigma of bad body-odour persists, and the modern fragrance industry is worth billions of pounds worldwide.</p> <p>But if we need perfumes to simply mask our bad odour, why are there so many different products available? And how do perfumes change or block the potentially relevant information contained within body odour?</p> <p>Research is now challenging the conventional view that perfumes simply mask bad odour. <a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0033810">In one study</a>, researchers asked participants to wear cotton underarm pads, as described above, but they were instructed to apply a particular fragrance under one armpit while leaving the other fragrance-free. Unsurprisingly perhaps, volunteer sniffers later found the fragranced armpit odour to be more pleasant.</p> <p>But then the researchers asked a new set of participants to apply their fragrance of choice under one armpit and to apply another fragrance, chosen by the experimenters, under the other. This time, the sniffers judged the fragrance/body odour blends as more attractive when they involved the wearer’s own preferred fragrance – even though the sniffers found the two fragrances roughly comparable when there was no body odour involved. The conclusion? People select fragrances that complement their own body odour, producing a favourable blend.</p> <p>How might we achieve this? This question brings us back to the MHC genes that we mentioned earlier. A <a href="http://beheco.oxfordjournals.org/content/12/2/140.short">key study</a> determined the MHC group of different sniffers and then noted which odours they preferred among a range of common ingredients that might contribute to a perfume that they would wear.</p> <p>The results revealed a correlation between certain MHC groups and preferences for certain ingredients, suggesting that we choose fragrances that enhance the MHC signals that we are already giving off. Yet these correlations disappeared when the same sniffers rated the ingredients for a perfume their partner might choose to wear. At the genetic level, perfume preferences only work when thinking about ourselves.</p> <p><a href="http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/280/1755/20122889">Another experiment</a> took a slightly different approach to reach a similar conclusion. Researchers first extracted MHC peptides, a signature component of MHC molecules, from a number of volunteers. They then spiked samples of the volunteers’ body odour with peptides representative of either their own MHC or of other people’s MHC. When they were then asked to choose which spiked odour sample smelled like themselves, they tended to choose the one spiked with their own MHC peptides.</p> <p><strong>Back to the perfume counter</strong></p> <p>Taken together, these studies suggest that we evaluate perfumes, at least in part, according to whether they suit our individual, genetically influenced odour.</p> <p>In an ideal world we might all know our partner’s MHC genotype and choose perfumes that suited them accordingly, perhaps following some helpful system of colour coding or the like. Unfortunately this doesn’t look likely to happen in any major way any time soon – the test currently costs about £160 a head.</p> <p>So what lessons can be learned from these studies? One main point is that choosing a perfume for your partner based on your own preference is unlikely to work well. Your best bet is to ask perfume shop staff to select a perfume that smells roughly similar to the one you know your partner likes. Or do it yourself using perfume finders online, such as <a href="http://perfumesociety.org/fred/">FR.eD</a> or <a href="http://nose.fr/en/the-project/introduction">Nose</a>.</p> <p>For those choosing a fragrance for themselves, the lesson is to ensure you select one that really suits you. In the study of odour/fragrance blends, there were a few wearers who bucked the trend and smelled better with the experimenter-assigned perfume than with the brand they chose themselves.</p> <p>So it’s always worth investing some time in making a choice, and to test-drive it on your skin first. If this sounds daunting, you can at least proceed in the knowledge that the person best placed to decide what perfume suits you best is looking back at you in the mirror.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/37601/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/s-craig-roberts-152483">S Craig Roberts</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-stirling-1697">University of Stirling</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/caroline-allen-155046">Caroline Allen</a>, Researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-stirling-1697">University of Stirling</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kelly-cobey-155033">Kelly Cobey</a>, Honourary Researcher (Psychology: Hormones and Behaviour), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-stirling-1697">University of Stirling</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/perfume-could-be-the-riskiest-gift-youll-ever-buy-37601">original article</a>.</em></p>

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How to stay connected when you’re in lockdown

<p>COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus, is a challenge for everyone.</p> <p>We know <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/">positive social support</a> can improve our capacity to cope with stress. But right now we’re being asked to keep our distance from others to minimise the spread of the virus.</p> <p>Many people are facing periods of enforced isolation if they are believed to have COVID-19 or have been in contact with someone who has.</p> <p>Even those of us who appear to be healthy are being directed to practise <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/">social distancing</a>, a range of strategies <a href="https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/Content/519F9392797E2DDCCA257D47001B9948/%24File/Social-2019.PDF">designed to slow the spread of a disease</a> and protect vulnerable groups from becoming infected.</p> <p>Among other things, this means when we’re around others, we shouldn’t get too close, and should avoid things like kissing and shaking hands.</p> <p>This advice has seen the cancellation of large events of more than 500 people, while smaller groups and organisations have also moved to cancel events and regular activities. Many workplaces with the capacity to do so have asked their staff to work from home.</p> <p>While it’s crucial to slowing the spread of COVID-19, practising social distancing will result in fewer face-to-face social interactions, potentially increasing the risk of loneliness.</p> <p><strong>Humans are social beings</strong></p> <p>Social distancing and self-isolation will be a challenge for many people. This is because humans are <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-29052-001">innately social</a>. From history to the modern day we’ve lived in groups – in villages, communities and family units.</p> <p>While we know social isolation has <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14563073">a negative impact on health</a>, we don’t really know much about what the effects of compulsory (and possibly prolonged) social isolation could be.</p> <p>But we expect it could increase the risk of loneliness in the community. Loneliness is the <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-00412-002">feeling of being socially isolated</a>.</p> <p>Recent reports have indicated loneliness is already a significant issue for <a href="https://researchbank.swinburne.edu.au/file/c1d9cd16-ddbe-417f-bbc4-3d499e95bdec/1/2018-australian_loneliness_report.pdf">Australians</a>, including <a href="https://researchbank.swinburne.edu.au/file/667f9689-7b1e-49b9-926b-6dcb38f389ff/1/2019-lim-young_australian_loneliness.pdf">young people</a>.</p> <p>Loneliness and social isolation are associated with a similar increased risk of earlier death: <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=Loneliness+and+Social+Isolation+as+Risk+Factors+for+Mortality%3A+A+Meta-Analytic+Review">26% and 29% respectively</a> compared to someone who is not lonely or socially isolated.</p> <p>People who are socially vulnerable, such as older people, are likely to struggle more through this uncertain period.</p> <p>If older adults are forced to self-isolate, we don’t have contingency plans to help those who are lonely and/or have complex health problems.</p> <p>While we can’t replace the value of face-to-face interactions, we need to be flexible and think creatively in these circumstances.</p> <p>Can we equip older people with technology if they don’t already have access, or teach them how to use their devices if they are unsure? For those still living at home, can we engage a neighbour to check in on them? Can we show our support by finding the time to write letters, notes, or make phone calls?</p> <p><strong>Supporting each other</strong></p> <p>Research shows a period of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4276319/">uncertainty and a lack of control</a> in our daily lives can lead to increased anxiety.</p> <p>In times like this, it’s essential we support one another and show compassion to those who need it. This is a shared experience that’s stressful for everyone – and we don’t know how long it’s going to go on for.</p> <p>Fortunately, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/">positive social support</a> can improve our resilience for coping with stress. So use the phone and if you can, and gather a group of people to stay in touch with.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyt.2019.00604">positive social interactions</a> – even remotely – can help reduce loneliness. Showing genuine interest in others, sharing positive news, and bringing up old memories can enhance our relationships.</p> <p><strong>Staying connected</strong></p> <p>Here are some tips to remain connected when you’re practising social distancing or in quarantine:</p> <ol> <li> <p>think about how you can interact with others without putting your health (or theirs) at risk. Can you speak to your neighbours from over a fence or across balconies? We’ve seen this in Italy</p> </li> <li> <p>if you have access to it, use technology to stay in touch. If you have a smartphone, use the video capabilities (seeing someone’s facial expressions can help increase connection)</p> </li> <li> <p>check in with your friends, family, and neighbours regularly. Wherever you can, assist people in your life who may be more vulnerable (for example, those with no access to the internet or who cannot easily use the internet to shop online)</p> </li> <li> <p>spend the time connecting with the people you are living with. If you are in a lockdown situation, use this time to improve your existing relationships</p> </li> <li> <p>manage your stress levels. Exercise, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31755300">meditate</a>, and keep to a daily routine as much as you can</p> </li> <li> <p>it’s not just family and friends who require support, but others in your community. Showing kindness to others not only helps them but can also increase your sense of purpose and value, improving <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20085397">your own well-being</a>.<a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-is-stressful-here-are-some-ways-to-cope-with-the-anxiety-133146"></a></p> </li> </ol> <p>So get thinking, take considered action, and be creative to see how you can help to minimise not only the spread of COVID-19, but its social and psychological effects too.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/133693/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-h-lim-176472">Michelle H Lim</a>, Senior Lecturer and Clinical Psychologist, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/johanna-badcock-995697">Johanna Badcock</a>, Adjunct Professor, School of Psychological Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-western-australia-1067">University of Western Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/social-distancing-can-make-you-lonely-heres-how-to-stay-connected-when-youre-in-lockdown-133693">original article</a>.</em></p>

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The end is near: Meghan and Harry drop heart-warming new footage as exit approaches

<p>The Duke and Duchess of Sussex may have wrapped up their last final royal appearances before they officially step down, but their work will surely prove to hold a lasting impact.</p> <p>The pair shared a beautiful candid short video on Wednesday to their social media accounts.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9kS7YjJ_kI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9kS7YjJ_kI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Mar 10, 2020 at 1:49pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The couple both attended a secret meeting at Buckingham Palace earlier this month and have now revealed it was all for a very special reason.</p> <p>Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan explained they hosted a conversation with young leaders from the Queens Commonwealth Trust network, saying on social media: "The group met at Buckingham Palace to discuss mental health, equal opportunities for all, and the importance of supporting youth leadership to help address global challenges and drive positive change around the world."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9nDemBpDaT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9nDemBpDaT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Mar 11, 2020 at 3:33pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"So where do you start? You start with guys like you," Harry says at one point to the young leaders,</p> <p>The footage even showed a special and intimate moment between the royal couple who shared a sweet glance at each other before another scene popped up.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9nJo7eo2R9/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9nJo7eo2R9/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Meghan Markle 🇫🇷 (fan page) (@meghanmarklefrance)</a> on Mar 11, 2020 at 4:25pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The Duke and Duchess have completed their final royal engagements in the UK now, with the annual Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey on Monday.</p> <p>It will mark their final official public outing.</p> <p>The official change will be set in stone on March 31 and it is understood the couple will spend majority of their time in Canada with their son Archie.</p>

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When should you unfriend someone on Facebook?

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/the-real-consequences-of-fake-news-81179">The nature and ethics of “fake news”</a> has become <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-we-fall-for-fake-news-69829">a subject of widespread concern</a>. But, for many of us, the issue is much more personal: What are we to do when a cranky uncle or an otherwise pleasant old friend persists in populating our news feeds with a stream of posts that can run deeply contrary to our own values?</p> <p>One option is to unfriend people who share material that conflicts with our values. But a siloed environment where people self-select into echo chambers could also be worrisome. As a researcher working on the ethics of social technologies, I start with what might seem like an unlikely source: Aristotle.</p> <p>Classical Greece may bear little resemblance to today’s world of smartphones and social media. But Aristotle was no stranger to the struggle to build and maintain social connections in a contentious political climate.</p> <p><strong>Value of friendship</strong></p> <p>The first issue is what should real friendships look like. Aristotle <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.8.viii.html#124">argues</a> that a</p> <blockquote> <p>“perfect friendship is the friendship of men who are good, and alike in virtue.</p> </blockquote> <p>On the face of it, it would appear then that friendships are essentially about similarities, arising where like-minded people group together. This could be a problem, if you thought that a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9781139165860.002">good friendship involved respecting difference</a>. It would also be a reason for people to unfriend those who disagreed with us politically.</p> <p>But Aristotle doesn’t say friends should be "alike.” What he says is that best friends can be different and yet share good lives together so long as <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.8.viii.html#588">each is virtuous in his or her own way</a>. In other words, the only similarity necessary is that they both be virtuous.</p> <p>By “virtuous,” he means the features of excellent people, those character traits like courage and kindness that help individuals be good to others, their own selves and <a href="https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/aristotle/#HapPolAss">live good lives</a>. Such traits help people flourish as rational, social animals.</p> <p><strong>Appreciating differences</strong></p> <p>Again, if you thought that these characteristics looked the same for every individual, you might worry that this still means that friends should be very similar. But that is not what he says about the <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.2.ii.html#244">nature of virtue</a>.</p> <p>A virtuous character trait, he says, consists of having the right amount of common human disposition – not too much and not too little. Courage, for example, is the middle ground between an excess and a deficit of fear. Too much fear would keep people from defending what they valued, while too little would make them vulnerable to unnecessary injury.</p> <p>But what counts as the middle ground is relative to the individual, not an absolute.</p> <p>Consider how what counts as the right amount of food is different for an accomplished athlete than a novice. Likewise for courage and other virtues. What counts as the right amount of fear depends on what needs defending, and what resources are available for defense.</p> <p>So courage can look very different for different people, in different contexts. In other words, each individual could have his or her own <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/BF00173473">moral style</a>. This seems to leave room for appreciating friends’ differences on social media. It should also give individuals reason to be cautious in exercising the “unfriend” option.</p> <p><strong>Living together</strong></p> <p>For Aristotle, <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.9.ix.html#668">shared lives are key</a> to explaining both why friendship matters to us and why good character matters to friendship. Friends, <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.9.ix.html#668">he says</a>,</p> <blockquote> <p>… do and share in those things which give them the sense of living together. Thus the friendship of bad men turns out an evil thing (for because of their instability they unite in bad pursuits, and besides they become evil by becoming like each other), while the friendship of good men is good, being augmented by their companionship…</p> </blockquote> <p>For Aristotle, virtues are by definition those traits that help you to flourish as a rational, social animal. Being your best self helps you to live a good life.</p> <p>The opposite, he says, is true of vices. What he means by a vice is the wrong amount of a characteristic: for example, too much fear or too little concern for others. Vices can make people’s lives worse overall, even if more enjoyable in the short term. The coward cannot stand up for what she values and so harms herself and not just those she ought to protect. The selfish person makes himself <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.9.ix.html#252">incapable of close friendship</a> and deprives himself of an important human good.</p> <p>Difference isn’t bad, and can even enrich our lives. But having vicious people as friends make us worse off, both because we <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0265052500002326">care about them and want them to live well</a> and because of their influence on us.</p> <p><strong>How can we use Facebook wisely and well?</strong></p> <p>What I take from this is that we ought not to think that friends’ differences, political or otherwise, pose a problem for friendship. But at the same time, character matters. <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10676-009-9202-1">Repeated interactions, even on social media, can shape our character over time</a>.</p> <p>So, in considering the question, should you disconnect from that Facebook “friend,” the short but unsatisfying answer is, “It depends.”</p> <p>Facebook connects people, but it imposes both physical and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1086/663772">psychological distance</a>. One could argue that this makes it easier both to share our thoughts (even those that many wouldn’t air in person) and to <a href="http://www.basicbooks.com/full-details?isbn=9780465093663">disconnect from others</a>, even when <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10676-009-9202-1">social pressures might make it harder to do so when face to face</a>.</p> <p>Figuring out when to exercise these different abilities could require individuals to exercise the virtues. But as I have explained, they do not give anyone a uniform guide to action. What counts as a virtue depends on the details of the circumstance.</p> <p><strong>Landmarks for navigating</strong></p> <p>Several factors look relevant. Social media <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/xge0000057">makes people happier</a> when they use it to interact rather than passively observe. Diverse connections and conversations can enrich people’s lives. On Facebook, we have an opportunity to experience <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1126/science.aaa1160">“ideologically diverse news and opinions.”</a></p> <p>Sure, sometimes unfriending an obnoxious co-worker or relative helps keep the peace… but this can be cowardly. And sometimes arguing with someone online just reinforces our own belligerence, making us worse in the long run. What we want to do is have good conversations that strengthen good connections.</p> <p>But here, too, we need to remain sensitive to details of context. Some conversations are better had <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1145/2874239.2874246">at a distance</a> and others <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313732/reclaiming-conversation-by-sherry-turkle/9780143109792">face to face</a>.</p> <p>In the end, some reasons to connect or disconnect are rooted in concerns about our own character, and some revolve around others’ characters. We have reason to foster a courageous and compassionate willingness to consider others’ worldviews and to be mindful of our own tendency to vilify posts (and people) because we disagree with them. But we also want our friends to be good people.</p> <p>What we need to remember is that the devil is in the details. I think the reason we grapple with this issue is that it resists easy or uniform answers. But using the tools Aristotle provided to reflect on where we want to end up, we can find ways to connect that make us better off, both singly and together.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/85363/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alexis-elder-414083">Alexis Elder</a>, Assistant Professor of Philosophy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-minnesota-duluth-1920">University of Minnesota Duluth</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-should-you-unfriend-someone-on-facebook-85363">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Not your typical royal wedding! How Princess Beatrice is making her special day unique

<p>Princess Beatrice is due to tie the knot with property tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi on Friday, May 29th.</p> <p>While the pair have been happily planning away for their big day since announcing their engagement in September of 2019 after dating for over year, Beatrice and Edoardo’s news have surely been a joyful distraction for the royal family amid Megxit and Prince Andrew’s sexual allegations.</p> <p>The couple are determined to set themselves apart of from their royal cousins and are opting to make minor changes to their big day so it is perfect for them.</p> <p>For starters Princess Beatrice and her fiancé are not broadcasting their nuptials, unlike Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank and their cousins, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.</p> <p>While the answer as to why they are choosing to remain private with their big day, it is understood Princess Beatrice has always been the reserved sister in comparison to her younger sibling, Princess Eugenie.</p> <p>Interestingly enough, the couple are setting their sights on a more intimate and personal wedding by holding their ceremony at Chapel Royal in just 150 guests.</p> <p>This differs majorly to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle who said “I do” in front of 800 guests, while Prince William and Duchess Kate tied the knot with 2,000 guests looking on at Westminster Abbey.</p> <p>There will also be no carriage procession for Princess Beatrice and Edoardo. While many royal newlyweds have travelled the distance between their ceremony to their reception by carriage, the couple are choosing to do so by car.</p> <p>Other decisions including whether Prince Andrew will do a speech or if Prince Harry and Meghan will attend their cousin’s wedding still remain unclear.</p> <p>However one thing is for sure – this royal wedding will be unlike any other royal watchers have seen in decades.</p>

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Princess Beatrice to receive new title after getting hitched – but it won’t be coming from the Queen

<p>In a little over two months, Princess Beatrice will walk down the aisle to marry Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi.</p> <p>However, it turns out the gift of marriage will not be the only thing she receives on her wedding day, but a new fancy title as well.</p> <p>Edoardo is the son of Count Alessandro Mapelli Mozzi and Nikki Shale from the Italian royal House of Savoy.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B24FHMPHpcQ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B24FHMPHpcQ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by R O Y A L L Y . Y O U R S (@royally.yours)</a> on Sep 26, 2019 at 6:33am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>With his ex-wife, Chines-American architect Dara Huang, they have a two-year-old son Christopher “Woolfie” Woolf.</p> <p>According to the Princess Beatrice’s future father-in-law, the royal will receive a countess title when she marries, and their children will also be entitled to noble titles.</p> <p>“Edoardo is the only male descendent taking the family into the next generation,” Alessandro told<span> </span>The Daily Mail. </p> <p>“He is a count — his wife will be a countess automatically and any of their children will be counts or nobile donna.”</p> <p>Alessandro also went on to say the couple are “very suited to each other”, just a few weeks after Princess Beatrice and Edoardo revealed last month that they would wed at the Chapel Royal on May 29th – a venue that only sets 150 guests.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9KC0oQneDM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B9KC0oQneDM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Royal Stepsister (@theroyalstepsister)</a> on Feb 29, 2020 at 8:08am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The royal and her fiancé had been friends for many years before they begun dating. The 36-year-old and his soon-to-be bride made their first public appearance at a National Portrait Gallery gala in March 2019.</p>

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Never been done before: Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi reveal odd choice for best man

<p>Princess Beatrice and her fiancé Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi have made royal history after revealing their unlikely choice for best man in their upcoming wedding.</p> <p>It has been confirmed that it will be Edoardo’s three-year-old son Christopher, whom he shares with ex-partner Dara Huang, who will take on the massive role as best man for his dad’s wedding to Princess Beatrice.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B23ycotot3y/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B23ycotot3y/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Beatrice and Eugenie (@beatriceandeugenie.ofyork)</a> on Sep 26, 2019 at 3:50am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>A spokesperson for the couple first confirmed the news to the <em>Daily Mail</em>, citing that the couple wanted the three-year-old to know how important he was to his stepmother.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B23zE1yn7Ky/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B23zE1yn7Ky/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by •Cambridge•Sussex•York• (@aboutcambridgesussexandyork)</a> on Sep 26, 2019 at 3:56am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The Palace has also confirmed the exciting nuptials will take place on May 29, at The Chapel Royal in St James’s Place, London.</p> <p>Edo and Beatrice got engaged in September 2019 after the property developer proposed while they were holidaying in Italy.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvsUhHjhJAK/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvsUhHjhJAK/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Dara Huang (@dara_huang)</a> on Mar 31, 2019 at 5:17pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The pair spoke about their exciting news in a statement, saying: "We are both so excited to be embarking on this life adventure together and can't wait to actually be married.</p> <p>"We share so many similar interests and values, and we know that this will stand us in great stead for the years ahead, full of love and happiness."</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery to see Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi's engagement pictures. </p>

Relationships

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Behind Prince Charles and Prince William’s developing bond

<p>Prince Charles and Prince William’s relationship has not always been smooth sailing, but Prince Harry’s absence seems to have brought the two closer together.</p> <p>Royal observers noted that in their rare joint tour of the Defence Medical Rehabilitation Centre in Nottinghamshire last month, the Duke of Cambridge and his father <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-51459687">appeared relaxed around each other</a>, with “very visible bond”.</p> <p>The Prince of Wales helped his son try out wheelchair basketball at the centre, pushing his wheelchair closer to the ring and rubbing his shoulders.</p> <p>“One sensed a spontaneous warmth between them,” Prince Charles’ biographer Sally Bedell Smith told <em><a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/02/prince-william-prince-charles-joint-engagements">Vanity Fair</a></em>.</p> <p>“Apart from the very visible bond, there’s plenty of evidence indicating a closer alignment between Charles and William. During the crisis over Prince Andrew’s scandals last year, both the Queen and Prince Charles ensured that Prince William played an active role in the decision-making.</p> <p>“That cooperation was also apparent in hammering out an agreement with Harry and Meghan to leave their official duties with the royal family.”</p> <p>Royal commentator Katie Nicholl said the closeness was likely due to the father-and-son’s similar roles in the royal family rather than the departure of the Duke of Sussex.</p> <p>“I think there is an understanding between Charles and William that they are both heirs, that they have a sense of duty and responsibility and for many years that William resented that sense of duty, he saw it as a burden,” Nicholl told <em><a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/royals/prince-charles-william-harry-relationship-katie-nicholl/c4439537-4ee2-4b0f-a3d5-a6c62823ba16">9Honey</a></em>.</p> <p>“Since getting married, since becoming a father himself, since having that stability in his life, it’s something that he’s embraced. And I think that connected him with his father. Given the drama, the changes in recent months, I think it probably has brought William and Charles together, they have to stick together.”</p> <p>Social media expert Meg Coffey said the two royals’ display of unity reflect their increasingly active role as future monarchs.</p> <p>“The Royal Family need to be conscious of public scrutiny and override the negative reporting with positive reporting, so definitely from Prince Charles and Prince William’s camps we are seeing a united front, with both being openly vocal in their support of each other and the monarchy,” Coffey told <em>Over60</em>.</p> <p>“To ensure the future of the monarchy Charles and Will know they need to put on a united front amid anything that could be perceived as potentially damaging the future of the crown.</p> <p>“We can assume that they will continue to be united in that goal as they both continue to take on more and more of an active role as they both get ever nearer to taking on the role of King themselves.”</p>

Relationships

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A 4-step maintenance plan to help keep your relationship going strong

<p>Early on, relationships are easy. Everything is new and exciting. You go on dates, take trips, spend time together and intentionally cultivate experiences that allow your relationship to grow.</p> <p>Then, somewhere along the way, life happens.</p> <p>One study on married couples in their 30s and 40s found that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612474938">their marital quality declined</a> over the course of a year, in terms of love, passion, satisfaction, intimacy and commitment. Too often, people shrug their shoulders and convince themselves this is just how it goes. Switching to relationship autopilot feels justifiable when you’re short on time, low on energy and must focus on other priorities like careers and kids.</p> <p>This is when doubt can creep in and tempt you to hit the reset button.</p> <p>But maybe you’re being too hard on a perfectly good relationship. Every couple experiences ups and downs, and even the very best relationships take effort.</p> <p>Rather than getting out, it’s time to get to work. Whether your relationship is already stuck in a rut, or you’re trying to avoid ending up in one, most people need to focus more on what happens between “I do” and “I don’t want to be with you anymore.” <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=v2ai_5wAAAAJ&amp;hl=en&amp;oi=sra">As a relationship scientist</a>, I suggest the following four psychology research-based strategies to kickoff your relationship maintenance plan.</p> <p><strong>1. Use boredom as a pivot point</strong></p> <p>No one raises their hand and says, “Sign me up for a boring relationship.” But <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/bs3030459">boredom serves a purpose</a>. Like your phone indicating your battery is low, boredom is an early warning system that your relationship needs a recharge.</p> <p>At different times, all relationships experience boredom. Psychology researcher <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407516660216">Cheryl Harasymchuk and colleagues</a> have explored how people react. For example, to turn things around when you’re bored, do you fall back on things that are familiar and make you feel self-assured, like taking a walk around the neighborhood? Or do you choose growth-enhancing activities – like going for a hike on a new trail in an unfamiliar park – to mix things up?</p> <p>It turns out that study participants preferred growth-enhancing activities when they were bored, and when given a chance to plan a date, they incorporated more novelty into those outings. Rather than resigning yourself to boredom’s inevitability – “This is just how relationships are” – use boredom as a call to action.</p> <p><strong>2. Keep dating</strong></p> <p>Rather than wait for boredom to strike, couples would be wise to be more proactive. It’s a simple as continuing to date. Early in relationships, couples prioritize these one-on-one outings, but eventually begin to coast, just when the relationship could use an extra boost.</p> <p>To recapture that early relationship magic, research shows that couples should <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195398694.013.0005">engage in new, challenging and interesting activities</a>. Rather than sitting at staring at your phones, couples should break their routine and try something different. It could be as simple as trying a new restaurant, or even a new dish at a favorite place.</p> <p>Not only does branching out counteract boredom, but trying new things helps you grow as a person. All of this spills over into the relationship, increasing levels of passion, satisfaction and commitment.</p> <p>In one study, researchers asked married couples either to play games like Jenga, Monopoly, Scrabble and UNO, or take an art class together. All couples <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12556">increased their levels of oxytocin</a> – the so-called “cuddle hormone” which <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2017.01.010">helps partners bond</a>. But the art class couples had larger oxytocin increases and touched each other more, perhaps because the activity was newer and further outside their comfort zone. That novelty may encourage them to rely on each other for assurance.</p> <p><strong>3. Movie nights</strong></p> <p>Not looking to dig out your oil paints? Here’s a lower key option: Grab a spot on the couch and have a couples movie night. Over the course of a month, researchers asked some couples to watch and discuss a romantic comedy such as “When Harry Met Sally,” while others did an intense relationship workshop. Fast forward three years, and the movie watchers were <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0034209">less likely to have broken up</a>.</p> <p>It probably isn’t just taking in any film, but rather that watching a romantic story gives couples a less threatening way to discuss relationship issues. It may also help them see their relationship differently. That’s important, because research from psychologist <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=kRbhk4oAAAAJ&amp;hl=en&amp;oi=ao">Eli Finkel</a> and others shows that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612474938">viewing your own relationship through completely neutral eyes</a> helps couples hold off declines in marital quality.</p> <p><strong>4. Finding the bright spots</strong></p> <p>Activities are great, but you also need to do daily maintenance.</p> <p>There’s an old adage in psychology research that “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1037//1089-2680.5.4.323">bad is stronger than good</a>.” For relationships, that often means focusing on what’s wrong, while overlooking what’s right. Talk about self-defeating.</p> <p>Of course, you can just as easily find the ways your relationship is thriving. Be more intentional about noticing your relationship’s bright spots. Not only will you appreciate your partner more, but you can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1475-6773.12524">use what’s going well to help improve less bright areas</a>.</p> <p>Too often, people wait for something to break before trying to fix it. Adopting a maintenance mentality can more proactively help your relationship.</p> <p>One new study tested a way to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.2925">help couples in already healthy relationships</a>. The researchers’ intervention had couples complete research-based positive psychology activities over four weeks such as:</p> <ul> <li>Write the story of their relationship, focusing on the positives, then share with their partner</li> <li>Write a letter of gratitude to their partner</li> <li>Identify their partner’s strengths and their strengths as a couple</li> <li>Create a list of positive moments or activities partners want to share with each other. Pick one, and plan a time to do it</li> <li>Create a desired happiness chart and discuss what small relationship tweaks can help make it a reality.</li> </ul> <p>At the end of the month, compared to couples on the study’s waitlist, participants reported more positive emotions, better relationship functioning and improved communication. Another month later, their average relationship functioning remained better than that of the comparison group.</p> <p>Few people enjoy cleaning, doing laundry or mowing the lawn. Yet, if you neglect those tasks, life quickly falls into disrepair. Your relationship is just the same. Rather than thinking about replacements when your relationship shows signs of wear, invest the time and energy into a little maintenance. Using any or all of these easy-to-implement strategies should not only help a relationship survive, but hopefully even thrive.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/130736/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gary-w-lewandowski-jr-110019"><em>Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.</em></a><em>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monmouth-university-1242">Monmouth University</a></em></span></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-4-step-maintenance-plan-to-help-keep-your-relationship-going-strong-130736">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Helen Mirren applauds Meghan and Harry's decision to step down as royals

<p>Dame Helen Mirren has said she “applauds” Prince Harry and his wife Meghan for stepping back from their royal life and positions, adding that the Duchess was a “fantastic addition to the royal family.”</p> <p>The London-born actress, 74, who won an Oscar for taking on a role as Queen Elizabeth, has revealed she believes the pair’s decision to step down from carrying out official royal duties was a correct one.</p> <p>Despite noting the Duke and Duchess would be a grave loss to the public, Mirren told <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://variety.com/" target="_blank">Variety</a>: “I think their instincts are absolutely right, and I applaud them for it. Hugely actually. Of course, it is complicated.</p> <p>“Meghan Markle was a fantastic addition to the royal family - charming, did everything right, was gracious, was sweet-natured, and seemed to be ... Wow! What a lovely addition. Didn't seem to be neurotic...</p> <p>“So, I think it is a loss in a way, but at the same time I think their instincts are absolutely correct.”</p> <p>It comes after sportsman David Beckham spoke out about how “proud” he was of his royal friend following his marriage to Meghan Markle and the birth of their son Archie, who is nine months old.</p> <p>The English soccer star, 44, praised the Duke of Sussex for “growing up” after announcing his decision to step back as senior royals and relocate to Canada.</p> <p>Their plans to carry on the brand of<span> </span><em>SussexRoyal</em><span> </span>has also been abandoned.</p> <p>Harry and Meghan have maintained their intention to split time between the UK and Canada while seeking full financial independence from the Firm.</p> <p>The date of Megxit has been confirmed as April 1.</p>

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“I don’t know how to tell her”: Best friend of little girl murdered by evil father still unaware of death

<p>The best friend of slain Hannah Clarke’s youngest little girl is still unaware that her mate has passed away.</p> <p>Four-year-old Laianah Baker was murdered last Wednesday after her father set her, her mother and her two siblings, Aaliyah, six, and Trey, three, on fire in a quadruple murder-suicide.</p> <p>Ms Clarke's best friend Lou Farmer told<span> </span>A Current Affair<span> </span>on Tuesday she is still having trouble to tell her young daughter, Heidi that her best friend was killed in the incident.</p> <p>“My ten and seven-year-old they understand. I can't even go there with Heidi. Heidi and Laianah were best friends,” she said, as she choked back tears.</p> <p>Ms Farmer says she had known her dear friend Hannah Clarke for four years, and revealed they had recently gotten together for a party shortly before the tragedy unfolded.</p> <p>“We had the most perfect pool party, and wines, and the best afternoon. I just don't know how to tell my little girl that Laianah, her best friend is gone,” she shared. </p> <p>Three close friends of Ms Clarke’s spoke out about the tragedy in a tolling interview where they revealed they had fears her estranged husband Rowan Baxter would harm the family.</p> <p>Nikki Brooks, a friend Ms Clarke’s for over 17 years, admitted she’s spoken with Queensland Police just one week before the murders to give a statement regarding Baxter's breach of his Domestic Violence Order.</p> <p>“I looked the detective in the eye and I said, ‘I think he's going to take them all out,’” Ms Brooks said.</p> <p>“She said, ‘I've got a bad feeling too.’”</p> <p>It had been Ms Brook’s home that had proven to be a haven for the mum-of-three when her relationship with Baxter turned abusive in 2019.</p> <p>Ms Clarke had confided in her closest four girl friends of the abuse, and it was Ms Brooks who says they now feel “a lot of guilt” over what had happened.</p> <p>“I feel like we've definitely influenced her decision. We said, ‘Han, enough's enough’.</p> <p>“It was getting bad and we had to get her out of there.”</p> <p>“The day she came back she stayed with me and we felt safe. He [Baxter] didn't know where I lived. </p> <p>“She just looked relieved and she seemed really happy. She knew she made the right decision.”</p> <p>Ms Brooks spoke in front of more than 1,000 mourners at a vigil held for Ms Clarke and her family at Whites Hill State College in Camp Hill on Sunday.</p> <p>“We are a nation in pain,” she said.</p> <p>“Don't back away from your friends for the sake of convenience.</p> <p>“Time's up on domestic violence.”</p>

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“Rather hurtful”: Queen “doesn’t want to talk about” Megxit drama

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>Queen Elizabeth II is reportedly so hurt by the drama surrounding her grandson Harry and Meghan that she hates it being brought up.</p> <p>“She generally doesn’t want to talk about it,” says one insider to<span> </span><em><a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2020/02/harry-meghan-royal-decision-queen" target="_blank">Vanity Fair</a>.</em></p> <p>“The Queen has been keen to get this resolved because she sees it is damaging to the monarchy and on a personal level, I think this has been rather hurtful for her.</p> <p>“She has got to the point where she doesn’t want to think about it anymore, she just wants it over and done with.”</p> <p>The Queen has had to walk the thin line between duty and family, and while she’s kept the door open for the Sussexes’ return, the Queen had no choice but to ban the couple from potentially exploiting their connection to the monarchy.</p> <p>“The Queen’s disciplinary power within her family is seldom mentioned and seldom used. The mere threat of her displeasure is enough to keep the troops in line most of the time,” explained former courtier Patrick Jephson.</p> <p>“When something more emphatic is required in defense of the dynasty, she does what’s necessary. People are reassured when she acts to protect the monarchy. It’s an institution that occasionally has to demonstrate robust self-belief to remain credible as a focus of national unity.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B2bFlARniq9/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B2bFlARniq9/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Royal Family (@theroyalfamily)</a> on Sep 15, 2019 at 12:19am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Perhaps it’s her longevity but the Queen has a gift for keeping problems in perspective. Her instincts are humane, cautious and pragmatic.”</p> <p>Royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith said that the decisions the Queen has already made this year shows she is fully engaged in her role”.</p> <p>“For all the travails of last year and the early months of 2020, she continues to maintain her enviable serenity and carries out her duties in her unflappable fashion,” Smith said.</p> <p>“Of course these family crises have been challenging, vexing, and sad. But in removing Andrew from his public duties and negotiating the tricky departure of Harry and Meghan from royal life, the Queen was decisive and sure-footed.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B22CDh8njDM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B22CDh8njDM/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Royal Family (@theroyalfamily)</a> on Sep 25, 2019 at 11:28am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>However, insiders close to Harry have said that he is disappointed to completely give up his royal duties, including his role with the military, but his independence is more important.</p> <p>He went into this knowing that he could lose his title, but his freedom is more important than any of that,” said a friend. “He and Meghan have a back-up plan in place.”</p> </div> </div> </div>

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