Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Hillary Clinton's surprising comment about Bill’s affair with Monica Lewinsky

<p>While speaking about her husband’s presidential affair with then-22-year-old Monic Lewinsky, Hillary Clinton provided an unexpected answer.</p> <p>During an interview with <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Sunday Morning</em> in the US, Mrs Clinton claimed that Bill Clinton’s affair wasn’t an abuse of power because Lewinsky “was an adult”.</p> <p>The response of the former First Lady was surprising considering her passion for championing gender equality and that her 2016 presidential campaign focused on her becoming the first female president if elected.</p> <p>When asked if her husband should’ve resigned the presidency after the affair was exposed, Mrs Clinton replied: “Absolutely not”.</p> <p>Pressed on whether it had been an abuse of power, as the president couldn’t have a consensual relationship with an intern, Mrs Clinton held her stance, reiterating that Lewinsky was old enough at the time.</p> <p>Mr Clinton was 49 years old when the affair took place.</p> <p>Mrs Clinton then focused on President Donald Trump, who has been accused of sexually assaulting several women before the 2016 election.</p> <p>“Let me ask you this: Where’s the investigation of the current incumbent, against whom numerous allegations have been made and which he dismisses, denies and ridicules?” Mrs Clinton said.</p> <p>Regarding her husband’s affair, she said: “So there was an investigation, and it — as I believe — came out in the right place.”</p> <p>The US House voted to impeach Mr Clinton for an obstruction of justice and lying under oath, however, the US Senate later acquitted him and he remained as president.</p> <p>Despite the spotlight that has been placed on sexual misconduct with campaigns such as #MeToo, Mrs Clinton believes sexism is still rampant in politics.</p> <p>Mrs Clinton believes sexism, as well as the investigation into her e-mails and Russian election meddling, were the reasons for her loss to Mr Trump.</p> <p>“If you watched the way Trump debated me, it was just imbued with sexism. Making fun of me for preparing. Well, you know, that’s the old, like, ‘Oh, yeah, the girl in the class who’s always prepared. I don’t need to be prepared,’” Mrs Clinton said.</p> <p>During the 2016 election, <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Access Hollywood </em>leaked a damning video where Mr Trump could be heard bragging about grabbing women’s genitalia.</p> <p>Mr Trump responded to the footage by holding a press conference with several women who accused Mr Clinton of sexual misconduct and accused Mrs Clinton of trying to silence them.</p> <p>However, Mrs Clinton said she played “no role” in silencing the women who accused her husband.</p> <p>“No role,” Mrs Clinton said. “I take responsibility for my life and my actions.”</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Meet Princess Eugenie's huge bridal party

<p>Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank have announced who will be in their very sizeable bridal party for their rapidly approaching wedding.</p> <p>It’s perhaps no surprise that Princess Beatrice, Princess Eugenie’s sister, has been given the role of maid of honour, and standing beside Brooksbank as he no-doubt nervously awaits his bride, will be his brother Thomas. The Princess’ cousin Zara Tindall and her husband Mike will also be part of the bridal party.</p> <p>Meanwhile, the next generation of royals feature heavily as bridesmaids and pageboys at the wedding that will take place at St George’s Chapel, according to <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/royal-weddings/princess-eugenie-has-announced-who-will-be-in-her-bridal-party/news-story/98a8e7547a79788530f7923f86260eef" target="_blank">news.com.au</a></em>. Prince William and Duchess Kate’s two eldest children, George, 5, and Charlotte, 3, will take part, their second wedding party of the year after Prince Harry and Meghan’s nuptials.</p> <p><img style="width: 378.333px; height: 500px; display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="/media/7821297/kate-george-charlotte.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f1095c16947a48f7b9d1bd0f9ed1863a" /></p> <p>They’ll be joined by Savannah Phillips, 7, and Isla, 6, daughter of Eugenie’s cousin Peter Phillips and his wife Autumn. Mia Tindall, 4, will also take part, daughter of the Tindalls.</p> <p>And there will be some slighter older family members to keep them in line as “special attendants” – Princess Eugenie’s cousins Lady Louise, 14, and James, Viscount Severn, 10. They’re the children of Prince Edward and his wife Sophie.</p> <p>Other notable bridesmaids and pageboys include Princess Eugenie’s goddaughter Maud Windsor, 5, who is the daughter of Lady Frederick and Lord Frederick Windsor, who attends St Thomas’s Battersea, Prince George’s school.</p> <p>Taking up the coveted role of pageboy alongside Prince George will be Louis de Givenchy, 6, the son of Olivier De Givenchy, a JP Morgan investment banker, and his wife Zoe.</p> <p>And finally, a celebrity offspring add some more razzle dazzle as a bridesmaid - Theodora Williams, 6, the daughter of Robbie Williams and wife Ayda Field.</p> <p>Will you be watching Princess Eugenie's wedding on TV? Tell us in the comments below. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Princess Eugenie and her fiancé are actually related – here's how

<p>Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank’s October 12 wedding is fast approaching.</p> <p>And now, it has been revealed that the lovebirds are actually distant cousins, sharing an ancestor on Eugenie’s mum Fergie’s side of the family.</p> <p>Eugenie and Jack share an ancestor who was the 2nd Earl of Leicester, 19th century aristocrat Thomas William Coke.</p> <p>The connection makes the couple third cousins once removed.</p> <p>Their family history was first uncovered by <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com.au/how-princess-eugenie-and-new-fiance-jack-brooksbank-are-related-2018-1?r=UK&amp;IR=T"><strong><em><u>Business Insider</u></em></strong></a> on ancestry site Peerage.com.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BgHOiXAgsVJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BgHOiXAgsVJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Think Jack said something funny!</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/princesseugenie/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Princess Eugenie</a> (@princesseugenie) on Mar 9, 2018 at 10:42am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>On Eugenie’s mum’s side of the family, the Earl is her great-great-great-great grandfather.</p> <p>However, the Earl is also Jack’s great-great grandfather, from his second marriage to Georgina Caroline Cavendish.</p> <p>As Jack is a descendant from the Earl’s second marriage, there are fewer generations in between.</p> <p>Although the connection between the two may sound a bit strange, it is not the first time that a royal married a distant relative.</p> <p>The Queen and Prince Philip are third cousins via Queen Victoria.</p> <p>Eugenie, who is the Queen’s granddaughter and ninth-in-line to the throne, will say “I do” to Jack in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle.  </p> <p>Will you be watching Princess Eugenie's wedding on Friday night? Let us know in the comments below. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Royal wedding countdown: Princess Eugenie’s fiancé admits he’s “terrified”

<p>Later this week on October 12, Princess Eugenie will say “I do” to her fiancé Jack Brooksbank in St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle.</p> <p>Although the Queen’s granddaughter revealed that she was “not stressed” about her big day, her fiancé has admitted that he feels otherwise.</p> <p>Speaking to the <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk"><strong><em style="font-weight: inherit;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Daily Mail</span></em></strong></a>, Jack admitted that he was “feeling anxious” about his looming nuptials.</p> <p>“I’ll need to take a few minutes for myself before the speeches because I’m terrified. It’s very exciting but I’m a little bit nervous,” he confessed.</p> <p>During an interview with <em style="font-weight: inherit;">British Vogue</em>, Eugenie played down any nervousness and said she was nothing but excited for her wedding.</p> <p>“I’m not stressed at all,” she said in the magazine’s September issue.</p> <p>“It’s very nerve-racking because you want it to be perfect but then you realise that you’re going to be with the person you love forever and nothing else really matters.”</p> <p>And while Eugenie didn’t reveal any details of her ceremony, Jack revealed how he assisted his wife-to-be in the planning process.</p> <p>The 32-year-old liquor distributor, who is currently the UK ambassador for George Clooney and Rande Gerber’s tequila brand, said: “I’ve not been kept out of all the planning. I get to decide some things. I’m in charge of drinks and we’ll be serving Casamigos.”</p> <p>However, despite his close working relationship with the famous actor, he was not allowed to confirm if Clooney would be attending their big day.</p> <p>“I can’t say if George Clooney is coming,” Brooksbank told the <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Daily Mai</em>l.</p> <p>In the lead-up to their wedding, the Royal Collection Trust released an ornate <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/the-missing-detail-from-princess-eugenie-s-wedding-china-that-s-baffling-everybody/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>china set</strong></span></a> which included a miniature teacup and saucer, pillbox, tankard and coaster.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/RCT?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@RCT</a> has released a new line of items to celebrate Princess Eugenie’s wedding to Jack Brooksbank. <br />You will notice Eugenie’s solo monogram features a crown, as she is an HRH. But the couple’s joint monogram &amp; Jack’s solo monogram doesn’t have a crown. <a href="https://t.co/cZwcvdsJl0">pic.twitter.com/cZwcvdsJl0</a></p> — Gert's Royals (@Gertsroyals) <a href="https://twitter.com/Gertsroyals/status/1045631831935242240?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 28, 2018</a></blockquote> <p>In addition to the couple’s intertwined monogram, Eugenie and Jack also have cups which feature their individual initials.</p> <p>Eugenie’s cup features the letter “E” with a golden crown or an “HRH”, standing for “Her Royal Highness”.</p> <p>Jack’s cup features the letter “J” without a crown.</p> <p>The monogram hints that Jack will not receive a royal after the wedding, while Eugenie will continue to carry her current title. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The special tiara Princess Eugenie will wear on her wedding day

<p>Before Princess Eugenie says “I do” to fiancé Jack Brooksbank on October 12, the Queen’s granddaughter must choose which tiara she will wear when she walks down the aisle.</p> <p>Royal experts suspect Eugenie will choose to wear the same headpiece her mother Sarah Ferguson wore on her wedding day, the York Tiara.</p> <p>When Fergie married Prince Andrew in 1986, she received the impressive tiara as a wedding gift from the Queen.</p> <p>The tiara, which was designed by luxury jeweller Garrard, has been worn by Fergie for multiple black tie events since her nuptials.</p> <p>The tiara features a five-carat diamond surrounded by an ornate swirling pattern of jewels.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="/media/7821171/image_.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/12960fd58c484b78bde0cfab02b9069b" /></p> <p>The impressive headpiece is also part of a set that includes a necklace, bracelet and earrings that were all worn by Fergie on her big day.</p> <p>Fergie’s tiara is just one of the many royal headpieces that had been passed down through the generations.</p> <p>When tying the knot with Prince Harry earlier this year, Meghan wore a headpiece that belonged to the Queen’s grandmother, Queen Mary.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 500px; height: 335px;" src="/media/7821168/1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/9c0812a33fea431b8d9d69116f5adb4c" /></p> <p>The tiara was gifted to Elizabeth when Queen Mary died in 1953 and features a centrepiece made of 10 diamonds.</p> <p>It is believed that the Duchess of Sussex visited the Queen at Buckingham Palace to choose what tiara she would wear for her special day.</p> <p>When Kate married Prince William in 2011, she borrowed the Cartier Halo Tiara from the Queen.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 500px; height: 332.9166666666667px;" src="/media/7821169/2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1dead125a6894aab8f2664085acd8a08" /></p> <p>The headpiece was gifted to the Queen Mother from her husband King George VI in 1936. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The missing detail from Princess Eugenie’s wedding china that’s baffling everybody

<p>With Princess Eugenie’s wedding right around the corner, a set of collectable wedding china has been designed for the public just like it was for her cousins Prince William and Prince Harry.</p> <p>Photos released by the Royal Collection Trust show plates, teacups and mugs embellished with ivy, forget-me-nots, bluebells and white roses.</p> <p><img width="460" height="460" src="/media/7820358/101655_a.jpg" alt="101655_a"/></p> <p>But royal fans were quick to notice a missing detail in the Princess of York’s wedding memorabilia – the groom’s initial is missing.</p> <p>Where Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s china featured the initials “HM” – Princess Eugenie’s simply features “E”, unaccompanied by her husband-to-be Jack Brooksbank’s initial.</p> <p><img width="500" height="500" src="/media/7820359/101424_500x500.jpg" alt="101424"/></p> <p>While the 32-year-old wine merchant’s name does appear on the inside rim of the cup and underside of the plate, many people find it strange that his initial isn’t sitting alongside his fiancée’s.</p> <p>“Where’s the groom?” one social media user asked.</p> <p>But according to UK newspaper the <em><a href="https://www.express.co.uk/" target="_blank">Daily Express</a> </em>it all comes down to royal protocol, which is the explanation behind the absence of the groom’s initial.</p> <p>The crown symbol on the memorabilia, known as a royal coronet, cannot appear above the name of a man marrying a female member of the royal family – but it can for a woman marrying a Prince, as the case was for Meghan and Kate.</p> <p>Profits from the commemorative collection – which includes a $45 mini teacup and saucer – will go to the Royal Collection Trust charity, which preserves the royal family’s art and artefacts. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

14 essentials for a successful relationship

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>With the number of theories about relationships proposed by psychologists, not to mention poets, philosophers, and playwrights, it may seem impossible to come up with anything approaching a reasonable number. Boldly going where few psychologists may venture, Northwestern University’s Eli Finkel and colleagues have done just that by proposing that there are 14 basic principles underlying all of psychology's relationship theories. The 14 gets reduced further, actually, because they fall into four categories of questions concerning different aspects of relationships, from their formation to their end. </p> <p>The underlying basis for this work is <strong>relationship science</strong>, which the authors refer to as “an interdisciplinary field that employs diverse empirical methods to understand the initiation, development, maintenance, and dissolution of interpersonal relationships." These aren’t just any relationships, but the ones people consider their closest. Yours is most likely to be the one with your romantic partner, or the person you’re in a committed relationship with.</p> <p>Finkel and his collaborators approached the classification of relationship principles as they would a “culinary” task in which “each theory is a dish (e.g., a curry) composed of discrete ingredients (e.g., a grain, a protein, a vegetable, several spices).” They set for themselves “the task of extracting the core principles" — the basic ingredients — and then determining which principles cut across theories.</p> <p>As you consider these 14 principles, try applying them to your own close relationships, particularly those that have meant the most to you over the course of your life. We’ll look at these principles according to the set into which they fit in the Finkel et al. scheme:</p> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Set 1: What is a relationship?</span></strong></p> <ol> <li><strong> Uniqueness: </strong>A close relationship isn’t just a combination of the qualities that each partner possesses; it reflects the special interaction that occurs when you’re with your partner. You behave differently with your partner than you do with other people, and so does your partner. Perhaps you’re rather quiet and a bit of an <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/introversion">introvert</a></span>, and so is your partner, but when the two of you are together, you can talk nonstop about the slightest thing. Your relationship reflects, then, something special that happens when you’re in each other’s presence.</li> <li><strong> Integration:</strong>Your sense of self is deeply embedded in that of your partner. Each of you has your own <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/identity">identity</a></span>, but sometimes it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. People think of you as a couple, and it’s hard for anyone, including yourselves, to imagine you not being together.</li> <li><strong> Trajectory: </strong>Your relationship with your partner has a history that has evolved over your time together, so that it’s not the same as it was when it started. On a day-to-day basis, you may not notice those changes, but when you think back on even a couple of years ago, you realise it’s developed from there. The chances are good, as well, that your relationship will continue to evolve in the future. Relationship theories have at times proposed that there are fixed stages, such as those that occur with the birth and development of children, but many theories propose instead a more fluid set of dynamic changes.</li> </ol> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Set 2: How do relationships operate?</span></strong></p> <ol start="4"> <li><strong> Evaluation:</strong>You and your partner often think about how you feel about both your relationship and each other. Some theories divide these feelings into simple positive and negative dimensions, but others propose a more complex set of evaluations, such as the <em>triangular theory of love</em>, which suggests that relationships vary according to <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/relationships">intimacy</a></span>, passion, and commitment. In any case, you bring these evaluative lenses to your relationship, whether you realise it or not.</li> <li><strong> Responsiveness:</strong>The way you respond to your partner influences the relationship quality that both of you feel. Is your partner sensitive to your needs and feelings? How do you respond to your partner’s? The more this occurs, Finkel et al. propose, the better your relationship will function.</li> <li><strong> Resolution:</strong>How do you and your partner resolve conflict? It’s well-known from research on couple conflict that there are constructive and destructive patterns of getting through difficulties. The constructive ones, as the term implies, promote or at least don’t detract from the relationship; the destructive ones condemn it to a less positive fate.</li> <li><strong> Maintenance:</strong>A long-term close relationship is one that both partners want to see continue. You will therefore work with your partner to keep it alive, even if it has problems. Sometimes outsiders look at a couple and wonder how it is that they remain together, but from <em>inside</em>the relationship, these problems don’t seem all that significant.</li> </ol> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Set 3: What tendencies do people bring to their relationships?</span></strong></p> <ol start="8"> <li><strong> Predisposition:</strong>You and your partner each have personalities that lead you to behave in certain ways within your relationship. <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachment">Attachment</a></span>theory, for example, proposes that people’s early <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/child-development">childhood</a></span> experiences shape the views of close relationships that they carry into adulthood. Those with an insecure attachment style will be clingy or perhaps dismissive, and those more securely attached will be able to relate in a more even-keeled manner.</li> <li><strong> Instrumentality:</strong>You and your partner each have <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation">goals</a></span>that you wish to pursue, and in an ideal world, you are both able to fulfil those goals. At times, you may rely on your partner to help you achieve your personal goals. Perhaps you wish to adopt a healthier lifestyle, eating fewer carbs or exercising more. Does your partner work with you to help achieve these changes or fight you every step of the way by, say, bringing home fresh bread every night? At a deeper level, everyone has a need for intimacy and connection, and your partner can also help you fulfil this basic goal.</li> <li><strong> Standards:</strong>Everyone has a certain set of standards or values that they hold about what a relationship should be and provide. You may expect, for example, that a close relationship involves you and your partner being faithful to each other. You might also have a certain standard about how smart, attractive, and successful a good partner should be. Relationship theories propose that you constantly monitor the reality against your standards, and when they come close to each other, you’re more satisfied, all other things being equal. However, if your relationship is gratifying in general, you’ll be willing to adapt your standards to meet your partner’s reality.</li> </ol> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Set 4: How does context affect relationships?</span></strong></p> <ol start="11"> <li><strong> Diagnosticity:</strong>Some situations will give you a very clear view of your partner and your relationship. A number of theories in social psychology examine the way we make attributions about others. If you see someone cheating, stealing, or <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/deception">lying</a></span>, you’ll think less of that person, unless you know about mitigating circumstances. In a relationship, you’ll also see your partner in a variety of situations. The critical ones allow you to see your partner’s true qualities: For example, when you really need your partner to be there for you, will your partner rise to the occasion? If so, this willingness of your partner to act on your behalf will help cement your relationship.</li> <li><strong> Alternatives: </strong>Is there someone else who presents an attractive option to your current partner? Or might you rather not be in a relationship at all? The existence of these alternatives will threaten the quality of your relationship, or perhaps lead to its demise.</li> <li><span><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stress">Stress</a></strong></span><strong>:</strong>When a situation challenges your ability to cope, you’ll experience stress. In a relationship, couples must cope together with situations that test their resources. How well do you and your partner handle these exigencies? If you do it well, that is a sign of a healthy relationship.</li> <li><strong>Culture: </strong>Looking more broadly outside the relationship, the social context of your family, cultural traditions, and beliefs help shape who you and your partner are and how you relate to each other. Some of these are theoretically quite obvious, such as celebrating holidays and getting together for reunions. Others might not be so apparent, such as the state of the economy, social attitudes toward monogamy, or historical trends in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/divorce">divorce</a>rates, employment of women outside the home, and even needs for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/art-therapy">self-expression</a>. You don’t usually pay attention to these factors, but they influence your relationship nevertheless.</li> </ol> <p>Now answer the question of how well you thought your relationship stacked up when evaluated according to each principle. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship but seeing whether yours has the 14 “ingredients” may be just what’s needed to help yours be as fulfilling as possible over time.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/">Psychology Today.</a> </strong></em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Palace announces another royal wedding

<p><span>Buckingham Palace has announced that another royal wedding is on its way after the engagement of Lady Gabriella Windsor and Thomas Kingston.</span></p> <p><span>Lady Gabriella is the daughter of Prince Michael of Kent, who is a first cousin of the Queen.</span></p> <p><span>Thomas, 41, proposed to Gabriella last month on an island in the southwestern English Channel, the Isle of Sark.</span></p> <p><span>The palace released news of the couple’s nuptials alongside a statement written by Gabriella’s parents.</span></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span><img width="500" height="769" src="/media/7820275/1_500x769.jpg" alt="1 (187)"/></span></p> <p><span>“Prince and Princess Michael of Kent are delighted to announce the engagement of their daughter Lady Gabriella Windsor to Mr Thomas Kingston. The engagement took place in August; Mr Kingston proposed on the Isle of Sark,” the statement read.</span></p> <p><span>Gabriella, who is affectionately known as Ella, is a second cousin to the Queen and 50th in line to the throne.</span></p> <p><span>The 37-year-old works as a brand director while Thomas works in market investment and is the Director of Devonport Capital.</span></p> <p><span>The newly-engaged couple will reportedly schedule their wedding for Spring 2019.</span></p> <p><span>Although Gabriella shies away from the spotlight, she does appear with the main members of the royal family for significant events, including Trooping the Colour to celebrate the Queen’s birthday.</span></p> <p><span>Thomas, 41, was previously in a relationship with Duchess Catherine’s younger sister, Pippa, who married James Matthews in May last year.</span></p> <p><span>Thomas and Pippa dated in 2011 and were spotted attending the ATP Tennis finals together.</span></p> <p><span>Their relationship quickly fizzled out, but they remain close friends. </span></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The bizarre royal wedding rules Princess Eugenie has to follow

<p>In just under a month, the second royal wedding of the year will take place as Princess Eugenie says “I do” to Jack Brooksbank on October 12.</p> <p>The youngest child of Prince Andrew and The Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson is planning for her big day to be a royal wedding extravaganza, with the ceremony taking place at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, just like her cousin Prince Harry.</p> <p>But before the 28-year-old can enjoy the lead-up to her big day, there is a royal wedding protocol checklist that she needs to make sure is met.</p> <p>According to <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Evening Standard</em>, there are 17 rules that Eugenie must follow on her big day.</p> <p>Some of the rules are quite standard, such as the bride having to wear a white dress and a tiara.</p> <p>However, one of the more peculiar rules is that her wedding bouquet needs to contain myrtle – a tradition that has been carried out by every royal bride, including Duchess Meghan, since Queen Victoria walked down the aisle.</p> <p>The royal bride is also expected to lay her bouquet at the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior, although it is not known where this must occur before or after the reception.</p> <p>Another royal protocol is that the royal family must always sit on the right-hand side of the church and that the bride’s ring must be made of Welsh gold.</p> <p>Although many royal weddings have been televised over the years, it has been reported that BBC <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/the-bizarre-thing-prince-andrew-is-trying-to-do-for-princess-eugenie-s-wedding/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>turned down the offer</strong></span></a> to cover her big day over fears the ratings would be low.</p> <p>“The BBC was approached because they have a special relationship with Buckingham Palace and a formula that works,” an unnamed source told the <em style="font-weight: inherit;">Mail on Sunday</em>.</p> <p>“But they turned it down because they don’t think enough people will tune in and that there isn’t enough support for the Yorks.”</p> <p>The palace is yet to confirm where Eugenie’s star-studded wedding will be televised.</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The new and reliable way to spot a liar

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>Figuring out who will be truthful is as important a determination to make as any you might make in your life. Your quest to identify what's a lie ranges from distilling the newsfeed you receive on a moment-to-moment basis to trying to decide if a salesperson is giving you a truly good deal for a truly good product. Psychology addresses the question of dishonesty from a range of perspectives, such as interpreting <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/body-language">body language</a></span> or counting the number of “uh’s” in a person’s speech. However, it would also make sense that <span><em><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/personality">personality</a></em></span> would figure into the equation. Putting this idea to the test, University of Cape Town (South Africa) psychologist Yolandi-Eloise Jansevan van Rensburg and colleagues (2018) explored academic dishonesty in a context easily investigated with college undergraduates. Although their focus is on this specific type of cheating, the results of this study also have implications for <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/empathy">understanding</a></span> dishonestly on a larger scale.</p> <p>Van Rensburg and her colleagues note that a large percentage (43%) of college students admit to having cheated at some point and in some way on exams. This estimate comes from a range of studies conducted between 2002 and 2013, with nearly 135,000 participants. In a way, although <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/infidelity">cheating on</a></span> campus is a headache primarily for instructors, the problem also takes on significance when you consider that some of those cheaters are now serving the public, sometimes in situations involving life or death decisions. Who wants a cheater conducting <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/neuroscience">brain</a></span> surgery or doing your taxes?</p> <p>The personality traits that the South African researchers believed would be most related to academic <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/deception">deception</a></span> stem from the so-called “HEXACO” model that includes as one if its components the honesty-humility dimension. As you can most likely guess from the term, scores on this personality attribute are related to what the researchers call “counter-academic behaviour.” In other words, people with low scores on the honesty end of the continuum should be more likely to commit “multiple ethical transgressions within an academic context” that would include cheating and plagiarising among other behaviours such as abusing substances and holding low personal standards. Whether honesty-humility scores would include cheating specifically within this range of counter-academic behaviour became the study’s empirical question.</p> <p>According to van Rensburg et al., it is necessary to break the honesty-humility scores down further in the effort to predict cheating. Honesty refers to being fair and trustworthy, and unwilling to engage in behaviours designed to provide personal gain such as exploiting, stealing, lying, and of course, cheating. People high in humility avoid being greedy and regard themselves as not particularly entitled to special treatment. Putting the two together, people may want to get ahead and hope to get special treatment (i.e. be low in humility), but honesty puts the brakes on their doing so, acting as a “control element” against engaging in counterproductive behaviour.</p> <p>Using an online sample of 308 South African students ranging from 18 to 47 years of age, with an average age of 23, van Rensburg and her collaborators assessed cheating both with direct questions about counter-academic behaviour as well as with a disguised measure of cheating in the form of an online task that participants were to score themselves. The online cheating task was administered prior to the personality test to ensure that participants wouldn’t guess the actual purpose of the study and then be influenced by the honesty questions when they performed the task.</p> <p>The online cheating measure was cleverly designed to tempt participants to cheat by giving them the opportunity to win money if they performed well. Participants were told they should not use any unauthorised help such as using a calculator, nor to change their answers once they started seeing the correct scores. After completing the task, participants then reported on whether or not they had cheated in the process of scoring themselves or using any of that unauthorised help. To assess counter-academic behaviour, the researchers asked participants a series of questions regarding such examples as submitting a class paper or project that was not their own work (misrepresentation) and turning in work that was of poor quality and lower than their true potential or ability (low personal standards).</p> <p>Think now about what you would do in the online task scenario. Would you try to change your answers or give yourself an honest grade based on which ones you got right and which you got wrong? If you believe you would refrain from cheating, why would this be? Would you feel it was unfair to receive unearned money or would you just feel that you were being insincere? Think too about whether you’d really want money you hadn’t earned. Is it worth it to get an extra few dollars in terms of your own self-respect and integrity, or would you stop at nothing to try to game the system?</p> <p>As it turned out, the fairness dimension ranked above all else in predicting who self-reports engaging in counter-academic behaviour. With fairness including an adherence to social norms and unwillingness to take advantage of others, the authors reasoned, people with high scores on this trait should stay away from all forms of behaving badly in academic settings. For the online cheating test, though, it was greed avoidance that provided the strongest predictive value. That material gain, small though it was, provided sufficient incentive for the greedy students to grab what they could.</p> <p>Breaking honesty-humility down into its components, then, and differentiating between general college misbehaviour and cheating on a specific task allowed the South African <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a></span> to pinpoint the distinct personality traits that lead people to lie to get what they feel they deserve. If you generalise beyond an academic situation, the findings suggest that the people most likely to cheat their way to the top are, at their core, greedy. Their desire to acquire material goods allows them to suspend their own sense of right and wrong. Those individuals who uphold the values of fairness will, by contrast, avoid the more general range of unsavoury behaviours that include ethical transgressions. </p> <p>If you want to figure out who to trust, the van Rensburg et al. study suggests you do a quick assessment of fairness and greed avoidance. Even if you dangle attractive goodies to the people high in greed avoidance, they’ll be able to resist temptation. You can conduct your own experiments of giving them the opportunity to earn something they don’t deserve and see how they behave. The people who believe in fairness, similarly, can be put to the test by finding out if they would try to get away with bending the rules if they could. Of course, you can also see if they do. If a salesperson fails to charge them for an item, do they point this out, or furtively leave the scene as fast as possible?</p> <p>Finding fulfillment in your own personal search for success means not cheating to get what you want. Learning to figure out who to trust in your relationships means looking not so much at their nonverbal communication but at the more easily observable, and perhaps reliable, conduct.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Psychology Today.</span></strong> </a></em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Private letters reveal what Prince Philip thought of Princess Diana

<p>The news of Princess Diana and Prince Charles filing for divorce shocked the world, and now, what Prince Philip thought of the matter has been revealed.</p> <p>Following the controversial interview of Princess Diana with Martin Bashir in 1995, in which she said there were “three people” in her marriage, the Queen advised the couple to divorce.</p> <p>According to <em><a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/" target="_blank">The Sun</a></em>, Diana admitted to the late singer George Michael that the breakup was “grim” and the royal family was “not very loving".</p> <p>But years after those events transpired, unreleased letters between Princess Diana and Prince Philip show that the Duke of Edinburgh took his daughter-in-law’s side when things “got messy” between the couple.</p> <p>In a letter dating back to 1992, after her separation from Prince Charles, Philip told Diana that he and his wife, the Queen, disapprove of their son’s love life.</p> <p>He allegedly wrote: “Charles was silly to risk everything with Camilla for a man in his position.</p> <p>“We never dreamt he might feel like leaving you for her. I cannot imagine anyone in their right mind leaving you for Camilla. Such a prospect never even entered our heads.”</p> <p>The letter was signed off, “with fondest love, Pa.”</p> <p>He also allegedly expressed his support for his daughter-in-law and offered to act as a mediator between her and Charles while they fought through the bitter divorce.</p> <p>“I can only repeat what I’ve said before if invited, I will always do my utmost to help you and Charles to the best of my ability,” he reportedly wrote.</p> <p>“But I am quite ready to concede that I have no talent as a marriage counsellor.”</p> <p>But despite all of this, Prince Philip made it clear that he would not support Diana being a part of new relationships of her own, writing: “We do not approve of either of you having lovers.”</p> <p>According to reports, it is also claimed that he asked the Princess to look “honestly” into her heart and ask whether “Charles’s relationship with Camilla had nothing to do with your behaviour towards him in your marriage?”</p> <p>According to Princess Diana’s former private secretary, Patrick Jephson, her in-law’s support meant a lot to her.</p> <p>“Here at last was written proof that this was acknowledged, recognised, and there was sympathy for her,” he said.</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

How to stop narcissists from talking about themselves

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>Having a conversation with people high in narcissism can be a true test of your social adroitness. With their steady stream of highly self-referenced observations, they challenge you to maintain attention on what else is going on around you, much less get a word in edgewise. Perhaps your coworker refuses to stop talking while at her desk, and also manages to twist every sentence of yours around until it applies only to her. It’s even dawned on you to sneak a set of earplugs into your cubicle but you’re not sure if you’d get away with it. Not only that, you actually do have to keep your ears open to be able to do your job. Or imagine that you’re traveling with a highly <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/narcissism">narcissistic </a>companion throughout the beautiful countryside on a sunny day. You’d like to be able to enjoy the scenery and have at least a few moments of peace and quiet, but his endless babbling just doesn’t stop. Even if he’s not talking about himself specifically, the fact that he keeps talking ensures that he grabs the centre of attention.</p> <p>You might expect that people high in narcissism would be motivated to keep the spotlight on themselves, but also that they might recognize, if only slightly, that they occasionally have to give other people their turn to talk. Having some modicum of social graces would work to their advantage, you might argue, to ensure that they’re liked. They can’t monopolize every conversation. Or can they? A new study by University of Potsdam (Germany)’s Ramzi Fatfouta &amp; Michaela Schröder-Abé (2018) asked the question of whether people high in narcissism are “agentic to the core?” In other words, does the outer self-esteem and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/confidence">self-assurance</a> penetrate to their innermost selves? The “mask” model of narcissism, as they note, suggests that the grandiosity they project is a cover for their inner self-doubts and feelings of weakness.</p> <p>Fatfouta and Schröder-Abé’s study was conducted within the tradition of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/personality">personality</a> research that regards narcissism as a trait rather than as a categorical disorder which you have or you don’t. They also note that they were interested in the “grandiose” but not the “vulnerable” form of narcissism, or the tendency to present a particularly favourable self-assessment to the outside world. With this background in mind, they tested the idea that people high in narcissism would feel, on the inside, that they lack a sense of agency even though a secure sense of self-confidence would be part of the image they like to project. The paper that sparked the research by the Potsdam authors, published by University of Georgia’s W. Keith Campbell and colleagues (2007), made the case that narcissists lack an inner sense of agency and do feel inferior to the core, but the sample for that study was relatively small (117). The German authors decided to test this proposition on a larger, more representative, online sample (650 individuals with an average age of 24) using what they regarded as better measures of implicit self-esteem with regard to agency.</p> <p>To measure implicit self-esteem, the research <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a> used a variation of a <a href="https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/user/pimh/index.jsp">standard experimental approach</a> that taps people’s unconscious associations to adjectives describing themselves. Participants saw words such as “active” and “passive" on a computer screen, and were instructed to respond as quickly as possible to the words "active" and "me," and "passive" and "not-me." In the comparison condition, they responded to the words "active" and "not-me," and "passive and me." People with high inner self-esteem struggle to pair the words they reject as not true of them with "me," or those they see as true of them with "not-me." To contrast implicit with explicit self-esteem, participants simply rated how strongly active and passive terms applied to them. and they also filled out a general self-esteem self-report measure.</p> <p>In this replication of the Georgia study, the German authors found no outward-inward discrepancy in agency for people high in narcissism. Those high in narcissism stated that they saw themselves as agentic, but they did not score low on their implicit sense of agency. Concluding that narcissists don’t seem to dislike themselves, “deep down inside,” (p. 81), Fatfouta and Schröder-Abé propose instead that people high in the need to see themselves as important and above everyone else have no particular inner need to see themselves as in charge. Even as they project this strongly agentic image to others, they remain neutral at best in seeing agency as important to their inner sense of self.</p> <p>The Fatfouta and Schröder-Abé study suggests, then, that the people you know who seem narcissistically self-entitled and grandiose enjoy being seen as in control, if only for the impact their strong need to take charge has on others. Their core <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/identity">self-concept</a> doesn’t rely on being in control or not, though. When they take over centre stage in a group, they’re not trying to cover up their feelings of inadequacy, but instead seem to do so out of the sheer pleasure it provides them while others bow to their will.</p> <p>It would appear, then, that you don’t have to walk on eggshells when you’re dealing with a conversation-grabber out of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/fear">fear</a> of creating an outburst of narcissistic <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/anger">rage</a>. Fulfillment in relationships depends on a healthy degree of give-and-take. If the person you're with continually grabs the conversational reins, you can rely on the Fatfouta and Schröder-Abé study’s findings to go ahead and make the monologue a dialogue.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Psychology Today.</span></strong> </a></em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Fergie and Prince Andrew still live together despite divorcing 22 years ago

<p>Despite divorcing 22 years ago in 1996, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson still live with each other.</p> <p>The former royal couple, who share daughters Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, both live at Royal Lodge Windsor.</p> <p>Prince Andrew officially moved in to the residence in 2004 following the 2002 death of the Queen Mother, who lived there for 70 years.</p> <p>Reportedly, Fergie and her two daughters joined the Duke of York in 2008 and have remained there ever since.</p> <p>“Sarah Ferguson still rules the roost at the Duke’s home — even though they’re divorced,” a royal source previously told <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em>The Sun</em></strong></span></a>.</p> <p>The 58-year-old Duchess of York spoke of her living arrangement with her ex-husband in an interview on KIIS FM.</p> <p>“I’m in and out all the time and he’s in and out all the time,” she said.</p> <p>“He is the finest man in my life – he is a nugget of goodness. I threw myself into a love affair for life.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em>Hello!</em> she also revealed that they “support each other emotionally” and “health wide”.</p> <p>“At least every two weeks we sit down and communicate, the four of us,” she said.</p> <p>It is believed the duo first met at the Guards Polo Club when they were both kids.</p> <p>They were reintroduced by Princess Diana in 1985 as Fergie’s dad was Prince Charles’ polo manager.</p> <p>After a year of dating, Buckingham Palace announced that the couple, both 26 at the time, were engaged.</p> <p>Prince Andrew and Fergie married on July 23 in 1986, with guests including the royal family, US First Lady Nancy Regan and UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.</p> <p>However, in 1992 Buckingham Palace released a statement announcing that the couple were splitting.</p> <p>“In view of the media speculation which the Queen finds especially undesirable during the general election campaign, Her Majesty is issuing the following statement,” the statement read.</p> <p>“Last week, lawyers acting for the Duchess of York initiated discussions about a formal separation for the Duke and Duchess.</p> <p>“These discussions are not yet completed and nothing will be said until they are.”</p> <p>The scandal that broke the royal’s relationship was a paparazzi photo of Fergie with her toes in the mouth of Texan financial advisor John Bryan, while lounging in the sun in a bikini.</p> <p>After their separation, Fergie revealed that she was heavily in debt and without Andrew’s generosity, she would’ve been “homeless”.</p> <p>However, despite the scandals the pair have faced, they stayed on amicable terms and have been pictured together throughout the years for various family events.</p> <p>Andrew and Fergie have even been asked if they are thinking of remarrying, due to the close nature of their relationship and the fact they still live together.</p> <p>It is expected the pair will sit next to each other during the wedding of their daughter Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank on October 12. </p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

8 ways to test your stress mindset

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>You’ve got a hugely pressured day ahead of you, with errands you’ve absolutely got to run along with getting ready for your partner’s upcoming birthday party. All of this has to happen on top of the actual work you need to do at your job. Before leaving the house, you decide to check your email in case your boss has tried to get a hold of you. As you start to log in, the Internet goes down. This is going to delay you by at least half an hour while you try to figure out the cause of the snafu.</p> <p>In the midst of this turmoil, you might ask yourself how you’re feeling. Is it possible that you actually <em>enjoy</em> all of this <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/stress">stress</a></strong></span>? Might you really thrive on pressure? It’s automatically assumed that the kind of hassles involved in these daily pressures and mishaps are harmful and cause wear and tear on your mind and body. However, for some people, stress is the fuel that keeps them going, and without it, they are miserable.</p> <p>The concept of a “stress mindset” helps to explain these alternative ways of approaching life’s pressures. Tel Aviv University’s Nili Ben-Avi and colleagues (2018) recently investigated the stress mindset, which they define as “the extent to which individuals hold the mindset that stress has enhancing versus debilitating consequences." Since it’s impossible to avoid stress, it would seem more adaptive to take the stress-as-enhancing mindset, unless of course your life is extremely boring and uneventful. It seems safe to assume that most people are in fact under more rather than less pressure, and therefore the stress-as-enhancing mindset would seem to be the better approach if your goal is to be able to overcome the left curves that life can send your way.</p> <p>The Israeli researchers took the unique approach of asking people not to rate their own stress mindset and then observe their levels of negative outcomes, but to use ratings of stress mindset as predictors of outcomes among other individuals. The idea behind the study was that your stress mindset will affect how much strain and unhappiness someone else is experiencing. Consider, for example, whether you think stress is debilitating. You would then think your partner shares your views about stress and would, therefore, be as unhappy as you would be under that same stress level.</p> <p>To measure your own stress mindset, rate yourself from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree) on the following eight stress mindset items:</p> <ol> <li>The effects of stress are negative and should be avoided.</li> <li>Experiencing stress facilitates my learning and growth.</li> <li>Experiencing stress depletes my <span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/health" target="_blank">health</a></strong></span> </span>and vitality.</li> <li>Experiencing stress enhances my performance and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/productivity">productivity</a></strong></span>.</li> <li>Experiencing stress inhibits my learning and growth.</li> <li>Experiencing stress improves my health and vitality.</li> <li>Experiencing stress debilitates my performance and productivity.</li> <li>The effects of stress are positive and should be utilized.</li> </ol> <ul> <li><em>A stress-enhancing mindset is indicated by your agreement with items 2, 4, 6, and 8.</em></li> <li><em>If you agree with items 1,3,5, and 7, you hold a stress-debilitating mindset.</em></li> </ul> <p>The average participant in the Ben-Avi et al. study received an average at about the middle of the 7-item scale (3.22 per item), and most people scored just between about 2 and 4. If you have a stress-enhancing mindset, you should, therefore, score at 4 or above per item on the even-numbered items, and 2 or below on the odd-numbered items.  </p> <p>Participants also rated their levels of <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/therapy-types/positive-psychology">optimism</a></span></strong> and their mood. To measure optimism, the Tel Aviv University researchers used a standard optimism scale containing the following items:</p> <ol> <li>In uncertain times, I usually expect the best.</li> <li>I'm always <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/optimism">optimistic</a></strong></span><strong> </strong>about my future.</li> <li>Overall, I expect more good things to happen to me than bad.</li> </ol> <p>The mood scale simply asked participants to rate their levels of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/happiness">happiness</a></strong></span> on a straightforward 9-point rating scale.</p> <p>Turning now to the outcome of having a stress-enhancing mindset, the findings clearly support the idea that your life will be better if you can put a positive spin on having a life that’s full of pressure. Although mood wasn’t related to stress mindset, optimism levels did show a positive correlation, with people who have more of a “can-do” spirit enjoying a life full of constant demands.</p> <p>As it turns out, your stress mindset levels also predict the way you judge other people. The Israeli <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a></span></strong> asked participants to judge the levels of stress experienced by a male employee (“Ben”) described in a scenario as experiencing a great deal of work-related stress, such as being in a managerial position, working long hours, and having to multi-task. Participants did perceive this male employee as being highly stressed, but people who held a stress-as-enhancing mindset saw him as having a lower workload than did people who believed that stress is debilitating. Furthermore, the more participants believed that stress is enhancing, the lower they rated Ben on the <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/burnout">burnout</a></span></strong> scale.</p> <p>Thus, having a stress-as-enhancing mindset affects the amount of stress you perceive other people to have. If you think stress is enhancing, you will project this attitude onto the way you perceive other people. These findings suggest that, unfortunately, if you and your partner have a stress-mindset mismatch, you’ll be less <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/empathy">understanding</a></span></strong> toward your partner.</p> <p>Turning then to the ways that you can use stress to your advantage, look again at those 8 items on the stress mindset scale. If you’ve scored on the “agree” side of those odd-numbered items, maybe it’s time to see where your ideas about stress come from in the first place. Ben-Avi and her collaborators note that the mass media tends to emphasize the harmful and debilitative effects of stress over and beyond any of its benefits. It is true that unabated chronic stress has a negative impact on health and can even shorten your life; however, because stress is also a subjective state, if you could somehow be convinced to turn around your views of stress, you might not be quite so damaged by its presence in your life. People can, the Israeli researchers note, be helped to change their mindset, and in turn, their health and work performance can benefit.</p> <p>To sum up, assuming that all stress is bad can create its own self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, see stress as the product of your own perceptions, and you may well be on your way to a more positive outlook on life.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Psychology Today</strong></span></a>. </em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Proud wife Meghan gives Prince Harry special prize after charity win

<p><span>The royal couple are known for breaking royal protocol to show public displays of affection and now, the Duchess of Sussex has given a special reward to Prince Harry at a charity polo match.</span></p> <p><span>Meghan was eager to congratulate her husband with a kiss after he won a polo match with his St Regis team 5-4 over Royal Salute, with the Prince scoring two goals at the Sentebale Polo Cup.</span></p> <p><span>The game was held to raise money for Harry’s charity Sentebale which supports young people with HIV and Aids in Lesotho.</span></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span><img width="499" height="295" src="/media/7819872/intext_499x295.jpg" alt="Intext"/><br /></span></p> <p><span>The 36-year-old Duchess stunned at the charity game in a AU$4,188 navy dress by Carolina Herrera.</span></p> <p><span>As the royal newlyweds walked away from the prize presentation, Meghan could be seen affectionately rubbing Harry’s back as they held hands.</span></p> <p><span>After the game, Harry’s close friend and fellow player, Nacho Figueras, praised Meghan, saying: “The Duchess is lovely and wonderful.”</span></p> <p><span>“I’m very happy for Harry. They are both lucky to have found each each other and I am very excited about this new chapter in his life.”</span></p> <p><span>Figueras said that Meghan was also excited to have the honour of presenting the prize at the polo match — a duty that has previously been carried out by other royal ladies, including Princess Diana. </span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 61.99074074074075% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlsgjYBBM4M/" target="_blank">A post shared by Sentebale (@sentebale)</a> on Jul 26, 2018 at 5:48am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span>“She watched the game with my wife which was wonderful because she could learn more about the game,” he explained.</span></p> <p>MREC-TAG-HERE</p> <p><span>“It was great that I got to play with Harry because we normally play against each other. Harry played great. They are very, very happy together.”</span></p> <p><span>Harry created the charity after travelling to Lesotho for his gap year with Prince Seeiso, the younger brother of King Letsie III.</span></p> <p><span>The event is held annually at the Royal County of Berkshire Polo Club. </span></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The truth about Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan's inspiring 30-year love story

<p>They fittingly met on the ‘80s hit show <em>Family Ties</em>, but it wasn’t love at first sight for Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan. In fact, both were seeing other people at the time and it would be several years before the pair coupled up to become one of Hollywood’s most enduring relationships.</p> <p>Although their characters Alex P. Keaton and Ellen Reed were loved up on <em>Family Ties</em>, in real life Pollan was in a serious long-term relationship with Kevin Bacon and Fox was dating <em>Facts of Life</em> actress Nancy McKeon.</p> <p>"I always thought [Tracy] was cool," Fox told People years later, "but it was like a couple of married people who worked together and liked each other."</p> <p><img width="402" height="512" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/768x980/gallery-1506544204-gettyimages-140631084.jpg?resize=480:*" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>It wasn’t until 1987 when the Pollen and Fox worked together in a movie called <em>Bright Lights, Big City</em> that a romance began to blossom.</p> <p>Pollan told Winfrey in 2002: "From the beginning, I loved his sense of humour and that brain of his. He's so smart."</p> <p>Fox <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://people.com/archive/cover-story-getting-back-to-his-future-vol-32-no-23/" target="_blank">told People in 1989</a></strong></span> of hearing that Pollen and Bacon had split: "It sounds really horrible, but it was one of those things. Someone goes, 'Did you hear that so-and-so aren't together anymore?' and you go, 'Hmm, that's too bad. Where's the phone?'"</p> <p>Seven months after they started dating, he proposed on December 26, 1987.</p> <p>"I wasn't really worried that she would say no," he recalled. "The toughest part was trying to figure out when to get married, and then to figure out how nobody else could know about it."</p> <p><img width="400" height="518" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/768x995/gallery-1506542281-gettyimages-529485432.jpg?resize=480:*" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>The couple tied the knot in an outdoor ceremony at Vermont's West Mountain Inn on July 16, 1988. Fox, who is Episcopalian, and Pollan, who is Jewish, had an interfaith ceremony with both a minister and rabbi.</p> <p>"Michael seemed a little nervous," Rev. Joan O'Gorman later told People. "In fact, they seemed just like any other young and loving couple who were excited to be getting married."</p> <p>Their first child, a son they named Sam Michael, was born on May 30, 1989. Fox and Pollan loved being parents, and would go on to have twin girls, Aquinnah Kathleen and Schuyler Frances, in 1995, and one more daughter, Esmé, in 2001.</p> <p>"I kind of shut the door and said to everyone we love who wanted to see the baby, 'Just give us a little bit of time to get used to it ourselves,'" Fox said after the birth of Sam. "What's interesting is that the parental instinct just kicks in. The next thing you know, you've got a sore hip because you're holding him all the time."</p> <p><img width="394" height="402" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/980x1001/gallery-1506543551-gettyimages-1319529.jpg?resize=480:*" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>The couple grew even closer when faced with one of life’s biggest challenges – Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease at age 29 in 1991 (though it wasn’t until 1998 that he shared the news publicly).</p> <p>"A lot of my adjustment has been dictated by Michael's point of view," Pollan said in <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/oprah-interviews-michael-j-fox-and-tracy-pollan" target="_blank">a 2002 interview with Oprah Winfrey</a></strong></span>. "He's so relaxed and so accepting of where he is, and that makes it easier for me, the kids, and everyone around him."</p> <p>But when the couple first received the news, it completely shocked and devastated them. Fox fell into a depression and started drinking heavily, before eventually getting a handle on his new reality.</p> <p>"I used to drink to party," the actor recalled on The Howard Stern Show in 2013, "but...now I was drinking alone and to just not be [present]. Every day."</p> <p>"So once I did that," he continued, "then there was about a year of, like, a knife fight in a closet, where I just didn't have my tools to deal with it. Then after that, I went into therapy and it all started to get really clear to me."</p> <p>He said he realised he just had to take life "one day at a time” and "then everything started to really turn the other way. My marriage got great, and my career..."</p> <p>Stern interjected here to suggest Fox's marriage "got great" after he realszed that Pollan wasn't going anywhere after his diagnosis. "Exactly," Fox agreed.</p> <p>Fox later told Winfrey: "There were a lot of questions I was afraid to ask Tracy. "Like, 'Does it scare you that I'm sick? Do you not love me because I'm sick?' I didn't ask her those questions. But nothing Tracy was doing was showing me that she didn't want to be with me."</p> <p>When Fox publicly revealed that he had Parkinson's disease in 1998, he began in earnest his life’s mission of raising awareness and money for Parkinson’s through the Michael J. Fox Foundation. As of April 2017 the foundation has funded more than $700 million in research.</p> <p>"The reason I wasn't telling was that I wondered if people would still laugh if they knew I was sick," Fox told Winfrey. "Can you laugh at a sick person [on TV] and not feel like an a--hole? I finally thought, let me not worry about that. What other people think is none of my business. I just have to have faith in the audience. If it's funny, they'll laugh."</p> <p><img width="444" height="329" src="https://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2018612/rs_1024x759-180712134829-1024-mjfox-tracy-nba-game.jpg?fit=inside|900:auto&amp;output-quality=90" alt="Michael J. Fox, Tracy Pollan, 2011" border="0" class="image--full" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>And every day the couple deal with Fox's condition, but always as a team.</p> <p>"Tracy wasn't sentimental or romantic about it at all," he <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/style-trends/info-2017/michael-j-fox-aarp-magazine.html" target="_blank">told AARP magazine</a></strong></span> in 2017 about how his wife reacted to his Parkinson's diagnosis. "No terror. No big windy... So, no exhibition of grief and fear. Tracy was just like, 'You've got a stone in your shoe. We'll do what we can until you can get it out. In the meantime, if you limp with the stone, that's all right. You can hold my hand, and we'll get over that.'"</p> <p>Pollan added that, of course, there were tough days, but they both knew they were in this together.</p> <p>"Through it all we've loved each other," Fox said. "And that love never died," Pollan added. "We had a solid foundation to begin with."</p> <p>When Winfrey asked if Fox felt Parkinson's had been a blessing for their marriage, giving them no choice but to become stronger, Fox replied: "I've often referred to Parkinson's as the gift that keeps on taking. It's a gift in that it really gave me a whole different appreciation for life. I discovered that I wasn't me minus Parkinson's. I was me plus it. I have been enriched by what it has opened up for me. It hasn't allowed me to take anything for granted."</p> <p>Before the diagnosis, "I had been constantly taking care of this and making sure that was okay, and now Tracy and I are just in it."</p> <p><img width="446" height="297" src="https://hips.hearstapps.com/clv.h-cdn.co/assets/17/39/980x654/gallery-1506544626-gettyimages-693930746.jpg?resize=480:*" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>When asked about their then-27-year marriage in 2015, Pollen said: "It's like dog years!"</p> <p>She told People that "giving each other the benefit of the doubt" has been key to keeping their marriage strong.</p> <p>"There are so many times when you have arguments, when you have things come up, and it really doesn't have anything to do with what he did, or said – it's how I am projecting that onto myself," Pollan continued. "A lot of times he'll just say to me, 'You know who I am, would I ever say anything to try to hurt your feelings? Just give me the benefit of the doubt.'"</p> <p>"I'm irritating but lovable, I have that effect on everybody," Fox said during the Daily Shot interview.</p> <p>"[I] won the lottery in the wife department," he later added.</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Novak Djokovic's son steals the show after Wimbledon final win

<p>As he lifted the Wimbledon trophy for the fourth time in his career, Novak Djokovic locked eyes with his biggest fan – his three-year-old son Stefan.</p> <p>Djokovic’s son was too young to be allowed to watch the match from inside Centre Court but had arrived just in time to see his father hoist up the ultimate reward in tennis.</p> <p>Wimbledon rules do not permit children below the age of 5 on to Centre Court.</p> <p>Although the former world number one has won many Grand Slam titles before, this one in particular will hold a special place in the Serbian's heart.</p> <p><img width="458" height="257" src="https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/ff89fa27aac140586c80c14e9633abce" alt="Novak Djokovic’s son steals the show." class="fiso-article-captioned-figure__image" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>"For the first time in my life I have someone screaming 'Daddy, Daddy!'" Djokovic said of his son watching from the player's box.</p> <p>"He couldn't watch matches live because he was too young, but we were hoping if I hold the trophy he'd be here to witness it -- and there he is."</p> <p>"I can't be happier. I am emotional for him being there and my whole team. He was by far the best sparring partner I had in the last couple of weeks!" added Djokovic who was pictured hitting balls with his son on the practice courts earlier in the tournament.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">When you spot dad with the trophy 🏆<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wimbledon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Wimbledon</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/DjokerNole?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@DjokerNole</a> <a href="https://t.co/POO2uXZWRq">pic.twitter.com/POO2uXZWRq</a></p> — Wimbledon (@Wimbledon) <a href="https://twitter.com/Wimbledon/status/1018521454638485504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2018</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Are you kidding? Djokovic’s son is the cutest thing in the world! 😍<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wimbledon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Wimbledon</a> <a href="https://t.co/YONMLxiNC2">pic.twitter.com/YONMLxiNC2</a></p> — Erika (@erika89tc) <a href="https://twitter.com/erika89tc/status/1018521004199567360?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 15, 2018</a></blockquote> <p>Djokovic and his wife Jelena also have a daughter, Tara, who was born in September last year.</p> <p>Djokovic won his 13th Grand Slam title, defeating first-time Wimbledon finalist Kevin Anderson 6-2, 6-2, 7-6 (3).</p> <p> </p> <p>MREC-TAG-HERE</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

The reason why narcissists need to outdo everyone else

<p><em><strong>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</strong></em></p> <p>Grandiosity and an elevated self-focus are key components of narcissism. The way in which narcissists view themselves, however, also reflects the way they view other people. In order to see themselves as superior they, by definition, must see everyone else as beneath them. Consider a situation in which a co-worker of yours talks constantly about herself and her family, seems uninterested in your own life, and spends an inordinate amount of time preening in front of the mirror she keeps in her desk drawer. These narcissistic behaviours seem reinforced by the way she maintains her office space. Overflowing with photos showing her in flattering situations, such as the time she won an important award at work, she’s placed the awards themselves in prominent locations in her shelves so that you can’t help but notice them when you walk by her desk. An extension of her personal tendencies to turn attention toward herself, her office space is clearly intended to reinforce this view of herself as superior to others. </p> <p>The view of people high in narcissism as preoccupied with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/identity" title="Psychology Today looks at self-image">self-image</a></strong></span> doesn’t necessarily take into account this idea that such individuals seem driven to elevate their social status. According to a new study by University of Roehampton’s (U.K.) Nikhila Mahadevan and colleagues (2018), the narcissist's need for status goes beyond an ordinary need for positive regard from others. Most people, the British <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at team">team</a></strong></span> argue, behave in ways consistent with “sociometer theory,” in which they are driven by a need for social inclusion. People high in narcissism, however, operate according to “hierometer theory,” or a need to navigate social hierarchies. It's status the narcissist seeks, not approval. As defined by the authors, status refers to “being respected and admired” (p. 2); inclusion refers to “being liked and admired” (p. 2). Thus, status involves a need to stand above others, while inclusion involves a need to be a part of a group. </p> <p>In distinguishing between <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/self-esteem" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at self-esteem">self-esteem</a></strong></span> and narcissism, the British researchers note that both refer to a form of self-regard. Self-esteem is defined as a positive or negative attitude toward the self. People high in self-esteem feel that they have worth, but don’t need to see themselves as better than others. People high in narcissism, though, have a more grandiose set of needs that include a sense of entitlement, a tendency to exploit others, and unusual sensitivity to criticism. The authors studied narcissism as a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/personality" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at trait">trait</a></strong></span> that varies in everyone rather than the clinical form of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder" target="_blank" title="Psychology Today looks at narcissistic personality disorder">narcissistic personality disorder</a></strong></span>. The highly narcissistic in their model should be acutely concerned, they predict, with social status, needing less to be liked than to be admired.</p> <p>The hierometer model of narcissism, as suggested by Mahadevan and her fellow researchers, uniquely proposes that “self-regard serves a status-regulating function, tracking social status, and motivating status-optimizing behavior” (p. 4). Consider people who feel they must wear the brand labels of expensive designers. They don't care whether the items with the fancy logos are particularly beautiful or even worth the money in an objective sense. Instead, the narcissistic individuals trying to assert their status want others to notice their wealth. </p> <p>In a series of investigations, the British researchers began with two online samples of adults who completed questionnaires designed to assess the needs for inclusion and status. Questions used to measure status and inclusion asked people to rate items that began with the following prompt: “Most of the time I feel that people…”  Sample status items included “… respect my achievements,” “think highly of my abilities and talents,” “admire me,” and “consider me a success.” Sample inclusion items began with the opening prompt of “most of the time,” followed by statements such as “feel warmly toward me,” “include me in their social activities,” “see me as fitting in,” and “would be willing to be friends with me.” The researchers then correlated scores on these two scales with standard measures of narcissism and self-esteem.</p> <p>As the authors predicted, scores on both the status and inclusion measures predicted ordinary (non-narcissistic) self-esteem, but narcissism was related only to scores on the status scale. Narcissism, then, appeared to operate according to the hierometer model. As these were correlational findings, Mahadevan and her collaborators then went on to test the two alternative models using an experimental design for which they recruited samples of undergraduate participants.  </p> <p>In the two experimental studies that followed, participants completed questionnaires measuring status and inclusion and were given false feedback about their scores, leading them to think either that they had scored high or low on the measure associated with the experimental condition (i.e. either high/low status or high/low inclusion). In the high status condition, the participants read feedback that included such praise as “People will tend to admire you, and think highly of your abilities and talents.” In the high inclusion feedback condition, participants were told “Statistically, you are much more likely than your peers to be liked, to feel you belong, and to come across as one of the group.” The researchers provided the opposite feedback to participants assigned to one of the low conditions. Following these manipulations, participants completed measures of narcissism and self-esteem.</p> <p>In these two experimental studies, the status manipulation predicted both self-esteem and narcissism, but the inclusion feedback had an effect only on self-esteem. Thus, narcissism acted as a hierometer meaning, again, that it is highly attuned to status rather than social acceptance in general. Being liked, as indicated by the inclusion measure, did nothing for the self-esteem of people high in narcissism, and when given positive inclusion feedback, people’s levels of narcissism didn’t respond. As the authors concluded, “Indeed, when it comes to narcissistic self-regard, social inclusion may be irrelevant, or even antithetical to it. As long as one receives respect and admiration, this type of self-regard may not “care” about levels of social inclusion” (p. 15).</p> <p>Returning to the question of your apparently status-conscious co-worker, the British findings suggest that she’s using these symbols of success in a narcissistic manner to remind her (and those around her) of her high social standing. Further, she may not particularly care whether you like her or not, as long as you admire her for her accomplishments. If the sense of entitlement that went with her narcissistic tendencies weren’t so off-putting, you might be tempted to think “Sad!” when you go by her desk.</p> <p>To sum up, the Mahadevan et al. findings show that narcissism may indeed operate on a plane independent of the need to be liked that we associate with its constant clamouring for attention. The need for inclusion is a far more socially adaptive approach that, in the long run, can prove far more important for fulfillment.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss. Republished with permission of</em> <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Psychology Today.</span></strong></em></a></p>

Relationships