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Separating? 5 commonly overlooked money issues you need to address

<p>Amid the heartache of a relationship ending, it’s easy to overlook money, legal and logistical matters or make poor decisions on the fly. </p> <p>However, that can bring more pain – even years down the track.</p> <p>When a relationship ends, you have the chance to embrace your new-found independence and do things for yourself. Including managing money.</p> <p>Make the most of this freedom by taking charge of your financial affairs, starting with these aspects that commonly get neglected:</p> <p><strong>1. Split finances and expenses</strong></p> <p>Separating finances is an important first step. Otherwise, your savings could be pilfered or you could be held liable for your ex’s debts and spending.</p> <p>Be thorough – smaller things are especially easy to miss. That includes store cards, utilities, subscriptions, memberships, as well as loans and credit cards. </p> <p>Some could be cancelled; others may need to be retained, in which case they should be changed into just one name. Don’t leave it up to your ex to take your name off anything.</p> <p>Redirect your payments and direct debits to your personal bank account to avoid penalties for missed payments. Update details with your employer for your salary (and superannuation, if necessary) to be paid into.</p> <p><strong>2. Update estate planning</strong></p> <p>The next step is to look at your estate planning. Failing to do this means your ex could receive an unexpected windfall should you pass away – at the expense of loved ones you actually want to support.</p> <p>Update your will to reflect your new situation as well as the beneficiaries in your superannuation – which is treated separately from your will. </p> <p>The same goes for any trusts, companies, or similar structures you have.</p> <p><strong>3. Get your best settlement</strong></p> <p>Many people – especially women – settle for less than their fair share in a separation. Why? Some don’t realise their real worth or legal entitlements. Others just want to get it done with quickly.</p> <p>While it makes financial sense not to drag things out due to spite, your future quality of life and retirement depend on how much you walk away with.</p> <p>Among the factors to consider are:</p> <ul> <li>Superannuation: you may be eligible for part of your ex’s super because it forms part of the joint asset pool. This is especially valuable if you earned considerably less or had time out of the workforce to raise children or care for relatives.</li> <li>Custody: supporting children and pets obviously impacts ongoing living costs. Child support isn’t necessarily guaranteed.</li> <li>Your home: is this really worth keeping at all cost if you won’t be able to afford it on your own? </li> <li>Sale time: if you separate on good terms, do you really need to sell assets now? Could you keep them to maximise value jointly or sell later at a better price?</li> </ul> <p>Ensure you get pre-settlement financial advice BEFORE you sign on the bottom line.</p> <p><strong>4. Live independently</strong></p> <p>You’re now on one income. Economies of scale (most things cost less per person when you’re coupled) no longer work in your favour. Taking time off work may be harder.</p> <p>So, don’t keep spending like you used to. Be proactive in adjusting to your new situation. </p> <p>Make a new spending and investment plan (a nicer and more comprehensive version of a budget). See what you can and cannot afford and make necessary cuts. Update insurances, subscriptions, and utilities to ensure you’re only paying for what you still need. </p> <p>Set up an easily accessible emergency fund, to cover you should you lose your job or face an unexpected crisis.</p> <p>Tailored advice from your financial adviser can help you make the most of what you have – for now and the future.</p> <p><strong>5. Be wise in love</strong></p> <p>It may be the last thing on your mind amidst a separation, but a new relationship could be in your future.</p> <p>Learn from your current separation and take measures to protect your future self.</p> <p>A pre-nuptial agreement (pre-nup) could be useful to protect your assets. Or a post-nuptial agreement if you already have a new partner.</p> <p>Carefully consider co-habiting arrangements – your place, their place, a new place together? Who contributes what?</p> <p>Even if you don’t ultimately need them (fingers crossed!), the peace of mind from having protections in place will make any new relationship feel that much sweeter.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em><strong>Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a></strong></em></p>

Money & Banking

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Meryl Streep's shocking relationship news

<p>Meryl Streep has confirmed her separation from her longtime husband Don Gummer. </p> <p>The couple were married for 45 years and share four children together, as well as five grandchildren. </p> <p>A spokesperson for Streep confirmed that Meryl and Don have been living apart for six years, after going through their separation away from the public eye. </p> <p>A statement from Streep's spokesperson to <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/10/meryl-streep-don-gummer-separated" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Vanity</em> <em>Fair</em></a> said, "Don Gummer and Meryl Streep have been separated for more than six years, and while they will always care for each other, they have chosen lives apart.”</p> <p>Despite their separation, Streep continues to wear her wedding ring, as she was spotted at an awards ceremony in Spain on Friday with the band still on her finger. </p> <p>The couple were last pictured together at the 2018 Oscars ceremony.</p> <p>Meryl and Don share four children: singer-songwriter Henry Wolfe, 43, and actresses Mamie Gummer, 40, Grace Gummer, 37, and Louisa Jacobson, 30, whom they raised at their Connecticut compound in the quiet, historic town of Salisbury.</p> <p>Streep and Gummer were first introduced by her brother, Harry, in 1978, and married that same year. </p> <p>They have long been determined to keep their relationship out of the public eye, and have only been spotted together at major Hollywood events. </p> <p>Some years ago, Streep was quoted saying, “It sure isn’t easy being married to an actress." </p> <p>“But if you give each other space, you also get closeness. And time is still the best thing we can give each other nowadays.” </p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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Ted Lasso star ordered to pay massive child support sum

<p>Jason Sudeikis has been ordered to pay ex Olivia Wilde an enormous sum of child support, as a bitter two-year custody battle draws to a close. </p> <p>According to new court filings obtained by <em><a href="https://pagesix.com/2023/09/25/jason-sudeikis-and-olivia-wilde-settle-custody-battle-actor-to-pay-27500-per-month/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a></em>, the<em> Ted Lasso</em> star has allegedly agreed to pay his ex $27,500 ($A42,800) per month in child support for their two kids, Otis, 9, and Daisy, 6. </p> <p>The hefty settlement has been based on Sudeikis' reported 2023 income of $10.5 million ($A16.3 million) and Wilde’s estimated income of $500,000 ($A778,000).</p> <p>“The parties agree that child support for the minor children in the amount of $27,500 per month is sufficient to maintain the needs of the minor children considering Jason’s station in life … is consistent with each child’s best interest, and application of the guideline would be unjust or inappropriate in this case,” the court papers reportedly state.</p> <p>The legal proceedings began two years ago, and took a dramatic turn in 2022 when Wilde, who was promoting her new movie <em>Don't Worry Darling</em> at the time, was served legal papers while on stage delivering a speech at CinemaCon. </p> <p>At the time, a source told <em><a href="https://pagesix.com/2022/04/29/olivia-wilde-mortified-after-being-served-with-legal-papers/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a></em> that Wilde was mortified over the brazen act. </p> <p>“It seemed unthinkable to her, and it took a moment to set in, but as mortifying as it was, she did not want to give a reaction,” the insider explained.</p> <p>Since then, things have improved for the couple, as they were both seen putting on a united front at Otis' soccer game in LA. </p> <p>Wilde and Sudeikis started dating in November 2011 and got engaged in January 2013. They welcomed their two kids before separating in November 2020.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Legal

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Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello announce separation

<p>Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello have announced their separation, after being married for seven years.</p> <p dir="ltr">The pair, who have previously been dubbed one of Hollywood’s most solid couples, confirmed the news of their divorce in a statement to <em><a href="https://pagesix.com/2023/07/17/sofia-vergara-and-joe-manganiello-separate-after-7-years-of-marriage/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a></em> on Monday.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We have made the difficult decision to divorce. As two people that love and care for one another very much, we politely ask for respect of our privacy at this time as we navigate this new phase of our lives,” the statement read.</p> <p>Vergara is currently celebrating her 51st birthday with a group of friends in Italy, with Manganiello notably absent from the celebrations.</p> <p dir="ltr">A source also told <em>Page Six</em> that they have been “growing apart for a while now” and “are taking some distance from each other to contemplate their future”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Another source added that “no one out there (in Italy) with her is even attempting to pretend that it’s not over. It’s over. It’s done.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Vergara and Manganiello’s last public sighting together was in June, when the actress visited Manganiello on the set of his new film, <em>Nonnas</em>, in New Jersey.</p> <p dir="ltr">The couple first met through Vergara’s former <em>Modern Family</em> co-star, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, in 2014 at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, while she was still engaged to ex Nick Loeb.</p> <p dir="ltr">When Vergara and Loeb’s engagement was called off, Manganiello reached out and the pair started dating.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I knew pretty quickly that I could trust her, and she knew pretty quickly that she could trust me,” Manganiello told <em><a href="https://people.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">People magazine</a></em> of their bond in 2020.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And we’re both the kind of people who are capable of putting the other person ahead of ourselves. I was capable of putting her wishes ahead of mine, whatever they were, and she was capable of doing the same. Once you have that, you don’t let go of it.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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Could sleeping separately save your relationship?

<p>Admit you're sleeping in a separate room to your partner and you may as well have said your relationship is on the rocks, or you're having an affair. That's the response most couples get when they reveal they sleep apart.</p> <p>It's far from the norm, yet a recent survey of nearly 3000 Australians by medical devices company CPAP found that 20 per cent of respondents spent between three and seven nights a week in separate bedrooms because of their or their partner's sleep problems.</p> <p>Far from being something that solo sleepers need to be ashamed of, scientific research into sleep paints a convincing picture for separate beds. In her new book, <em>Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart</em>, author Jennifer Adams (herself a solo sleeper) writes that the benefits of snoozing alone are many: "If you've suffered prolonged sleep deprivation, sleeping apart is good for your mental and physical health – and good for the health of your relationship."</p> <p>Prolonged sleep deprivation can lead to high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, memory loss, premature ageing, increased risk of obesity, heart disease and diabetes. It also lowers testosterone, which interferes with sexual desire.</p> <p>Adams, 47, from Brisbane, decided to go it alone after finding that her boyfriend (now husband) was a chronic snorer. It was exacerbated by his being an "early to rise, early to bed" type, while she's a night owl. After one week of sharing, they went their separate ways and haven't looked back. Of the reasons driving couples to separate beds, she explains, snoring tops the list. The partner of the typical snorer is robbed of 49 precious minutes' sleep nightly, according to a 2005 US National Sleep Foundation poll.</p> <p>Other complaints include one partner being whacked by the other during energetic dreams, noisy toilet trips (men go twice as often as females at night), tossing and turning (we all move about 20 times a night, but men more than women), heavy breathers, different bedtimes and different body-temperature needs (women frequently use partners as human hot-water bottles).</p> <p>Because of the emphasis on bed-sharing as a barometer of a happy relationship, separate sleepers will often go to great lengths to hide their sleeping arrangements from others, even presenting their nightly sanctuary as a "spare room" where the relatives crash. Yet having separate beds can be a marriage saver if both partners wake up refreshed and rested. Adams found from her interviews that far from cruelling a couple's sex life, separate beds could actually spice it up.</p> <p>"Our decision to sleep apart has solidified our relationship. If one of us wants sex, we go to the other person's room, and because we know we're not going to see each other in bed at night, we're more purposeful about intimacy," she says. "Couples I interviewed spoke about making sure sex happened, as they knew the importance of it in their relationship. Separate beds have, for many, brought back creativity and excitement to their sex lives."</p> <p>One solo sleeper Adams interviewed put it this way: "Separate rooms has made our sex lives more exciting because we visit each other's rooms and I feel less 'on tap'."</p> <p>Dr David Cunnington, a sleep physician at the Melbourne Sleep Disorders Centre, recommends separate beds to many of his patients who have sleep-related issues such as insomnia, snoring and different body clocks. "For light sleepers and couples who have different sleep behaviours and needs, separate beds are a lifesaver. It's also more considerate and compassionate to their partner if they sleep in another room."</p> <p>John, a 58-year-old builder married for 30 years, is a solo sleeper because his wife works shifts as a night-time supermarket manager. "Margaret was getting home at 2am and coming to bed at 4.30am. She complained that I thrashed around and snored. We agreed that she moved to the downstairs bedroom and we're both happy."</p> <p>Mary, 74, had to consider separate beds from day one of her marriage. "In those days, you didn't 'try before you buy' and on our first night together on honeymoon, I had one quarter of the bed and he had the rest, taking the blanket with him," she says. "He also snored loudly, while I was a light sleeper."</p> <p>Adams admits sleeping separately isn't for everyone. "But done well, with both partners agreeing to the terms, it helps the relationship flourish ... and they get great sleep to keep them functioning."</p> <p>Jennifer Adams' book <em>Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart</em> is published by Finch.</p> <p>Tips for sweeter dreams</p> <ul> <li>If you're not ready for twin beds, consider small changes: the late reader could read in the lounge room or buy an e-reader (it's quieter than turning pages); or try sleeping on a mattress with two different firmness levels.</li> <li>Make verbal contracts with your partner: for example, after the second time their snoring wakes you, you're allowed to wake them.</li> <li>Solo sleepers need to work hard to maintain intimacy: invite your partner to your room for a date night – with benefits!</li> </ul> <p><em>First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span>Stuff.co.nz</span></a>.</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

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Prince Charles nods off during separation ceremony

<p>Prince Charles has been spotted appearing to doze off during an historic ceremony in Barbados.</p> <p>The 73-year-old Prince of Wales was caught on camera closing his eyes as his head slowly fell forward, before he jolted back up as cameras flashed in front of him.</p> <p>The ceremony marked Barbados becoming a republic, ending four centuries with the British monarch as the head of state.</p> <p>Prince Charles attended the historic Presidential Inauguration Ceremony in Bridgetown, and was joined by former cricketer Garfield Sobers, new president Sandra Mason and singer Rihanna.</p> <p>During the ceremony, the heir to the throne acknowledged the "appalling atrocity of slavery", as he described it as something "which forever stains our history".</p> <p>Charles summed up the period when the UK was one of the leading players in the transatlantic slave trade as the "darkest days of our past", but looking to the future said the "creation of this republic offers a new beginning".</p> <p>In a message to the new president and people of Barbados, the Queen sent the new republic her "warmest good wishes for your happiness, peace and prosperity in the future" and commended the nation which has a "special place" in her heart for "its vibrant culture, its sporting prowess, and its natural beauty".</p> <p>Prince Charles watched on as the presidential flag was raised in place of the Queen's at midnight local time, on the 55th anniversary of independence from Britain.</p> <p>Despite nodding off due to the change in time zone, Prince Charles said he was honoured to be attending the ceremony, and said he will "always consider myself a friend of Barbados."</p> <p>"Tonight you write the next chapter of your nation's story, adding to the treasury of past achievement, collective enterprise and personal courage which already fill its pages."</p> <p>"Yours is a story in which every Barbadian, young and old, can take the greatest pride - inspired by what has come before them and confident about what lies ahead."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Why kindness through a divorce is so important

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The general public perception of divorce is hatred, animosity, resentment and bitterness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Difficult separation proceedings can often negatively impact the outcomes of the separation, as well as individuals health and wellbeing.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, there are more peaceful ways to amicably end a relationship and go your separate ways as equals. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Family lawyer, mediator and divorce guide </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty Salvestro has had experience with divorced couples since her parents separated when she was a child. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty says the key to recalibrating how we think of divorce is kindness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She says, “We really need to focus on resolving the pain and hurt, to focus on good behaviour, strong morals, and kind actions. It is hard, but we can do it.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While this can often be a challenge when separating from someone, there are steps to help achieve this amicable divorce. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty believes that step one is redefining the cause of the separation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Divorce should be seen as the acceptance and acknowledgment of a shared problem that needs to be solved. We need not immediately declare war to resolve that problem, what we need to do is work together to create the best solution.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She says that the most important thing is treating your partner with kindness, without feeling the need to be overflowing with love and affection. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This means choosing a kind and calm response rather than a hurtful and inflammatory one. The kindest response may be to do nothing at all.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty also believes in the importance of not taking any drastic actions that could exacerbate an already fragile situation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instead, partners need to be understanding of each other’s individual needs and allow each other their space during this difficult time. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is also an important need for a dedicated support system during a separation, to help both parties reach a resolution. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are studies that show how showing kindness and selflessness can enrich your life and the life of those around you, which can be a valuable tool in a separation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty Salvestro’s book </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">What Are We Fighting For? A Peaceful Pathway for Separating Couples</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is available now. </span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credit: Shutterstock</span></em></p>

Money & Banking

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Prince William and Harry giving separate speeches at Diana memorial

<p>Royal fans were surprised to hear that Prince Harry and Prince William will be giving separate speeches at the unveiling of a statue as a memorial for their mother, Princess Diana.</p> <p>The pair will stand together for the unveiling of the statue in July, but they will not share a stage.</p> <p>“The brothers will be physically together for the ceremony but want to make their own personal addresses,” an insider told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/14894281/harry-william-diana-statue-feud/" target="_blank">The Sun.</a></p> <p>“You might have thought they’d go for a joint statement and speech but that’s not the case. Each has insisted on preparing their own.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B_1r5QKFAsj/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B_1r5QKFAsj/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (@dukeandduchessofcambridge)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>There was hope of a reconciliation between the brothers at their grandfather Prince Philip's funeral after months of rumours about a rift, but that is looking unlikely.</p> <p>The news comes after claims from a royal biographer that Prince Harry's time in the royal family could be over after Prince Charles' assumes the throne.</p> <p>“Prince Charles has wanted for a very long time to cut the monarchy down to save costs and to make people be worth the money that they get from the taxpayer,” Angela Levin said, who wrote<span> </span><em>Harry: A Biography of a Prince</em><span> </span>in 2018.</p> <p>“I imagine that might be when Harry and Meghan are ditched from being members of the royal family.”</p>

Relationships

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“What I wish I’d known before getting a divorce”

<p>Divorces can get really messy if you let them. But the tips below from the real-life men and women who have been through it may help make this huge life change as smooth a process as possible.</p> <ol> <li><strong> Treat it like a business deal</strong></li> </ol> <p>“Take your heart out of the process, says Karen L.</p> <p>“Remember, your lawyer is not your friend; he is your legal counsel. Period.”</p> <ol start="2"> <li><strong> Try to have a good relationship with your ex</strong></li> </ol> <p>“Keep in mind that your kids are not involved in the demise of the relationship, they are always the mother and fathers’ children no matter what,” says Stephanie M.</p> <p>“Keeping the children out of the parents’ relationship is an effort that needs to be both parents’ priority. This is something that should be addressed before the children are told about the change that’s about to happen in their lives.”</p> <ol start="3"> <li><strong> Your actions will impact your children</strong></li> </ol> <p>“I wish I had known how much my resentments and the hurts that I had not dealt with and let go of impacted my daughter’s life after the divorce,” says Phil R.</p> <p>“Life was, and sometimes is still, hard but we have all grown through the pain.”</p> <ol start="4"> <li><strong> Don’t be afraid to do it</strong></li> </ol> <p>“Staying in a marriage for 22 years was such a waste of precious years,” says Liz B.</p> <p>“I was fearful of leaving because my ex threatened that if I did I would lose my daughter.</p> <p>“Knowing now what I know about child custody, that would not have happened. My daughter deserved a better, calmer and less chaotic home.”</p> <ol start="5"> <li><strong> There will still be co-parenting differences</strong></li> </ol> <p>“Our biggest challenge with marriage has been over the differences in parenting styles,” says Randy U.</p> <p>“We fought about everything from respecting the privacy of the master bedroom to being accountable for chores.”</p> <p>And those arguments don’t stop just because you’re now divorced.</p> <ol start="6"> <li><strong> Keep financial records</strong></li> </ol> <p>“I wish I would have had in-depth knowledge of financial assets and debts including insurance policies, business worth and stock accounts,” says Lisa H.</p> <ol start="7"> <li><strong> Listen to your instincts</strong></li> </ol> <p>“I got divorced because my ex was drinking early morning through the night. Then he would pick a fight when he’d had too many,” says Gilly H. “I didn’t want my young children growing up with that.”</p> <p>But whatever the reason, listen to your instincts, she says.</p> <p>“Make plans to work and support yourself and your kids. Be self-sufficient, but get family and local support too if you can.</p> <p>“Work hard and your kids will love and respect you, even if you are a single parent.”</p> <ol start="8"> <li><strong> There’s love after divorce</strong></li> </ol> <p>“It doesn’t matter your age or number of children, there are lots of good, single people out there,” says Erin O.</p> <p>“Women especially are told that once we become a certain age, we are no longer ‘marriage material’, whatever that is.</p> <p>“Don’t buy into that. If what you want is marriage again, then you will find it!”</p> <p><em>Written by Kaitlyn Chamberlin. This article first appeared on </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/what-i-wish-id-known-before-getting-a-divorce" target="_blank"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a rel="noopener" href="http://readersdigest.co.nz/subscribe" target="_blank"><em>here’s our best subscription.</em></a></p> <p><strong>Image:</strong> Shutterstock</p>

Relationships

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Couple who left toddler to go on holiday are still separated seven weeks later

<p>A Dubai couple have been left stranded for more than seven weeks without their toddler while holidaying when South Africa went into strict lockdown due to the coronavirus.</p> <p>British lawyer Mark Hill, 52, and his Italian wife Chiara Maioni, 44, who live in Dubai, left their two-year-old daughter Skye in the care of their beloved nanny and extended family while they travelled to Cape Town for what was meant to be a nine-day holiday.</p> <p>The pair left for their getaway on March 11, just a day after WHO declared a global pandemic.</p> <p>Days later, South Africa issued a strict travel ban in a bid to stop the spread of COVID-19, which was closely replicated by the United Arab Emirates days later.</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7835908/couple-1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/10b5758da0b64d56b6ad649081deba56" /></p> <p>The pair eventually made it back to their home country, but have been forced to suffer a further nine days apart from their little girl while they remain under strict quarantine in Dubai.</p> <p>Mr Hill told the MailOnline that the situation is “horrendous, a complete nightmare” and “very stressful”.</p> <p>“The world changed overnight and we found ourselves in the complete unknown,” he said.</p> <p>“We didn’t have a clue how long the lockdown would last and how to get home.</p> <p>“We were stranded in a foreign country that we did not know. We watched as airports around the world closed and airlines stopped flying.”</p> <p>Mr Hill went on to say he and his wife have never been apart from their children for more than a few days.</p> <p><span>“This is the first time we have left home without Skye and I feel terribly guilty about this,” Ms Maioni said.</span></p> <p>The couple went on to explain they were staying in close contact with Skye through video calls three times a day.</p> <p>“But when your two-year-old daughter reaches up to the screen because she wants to touch you, it’s heartbreaking,” Mr Hill said.</p> <p>His wife added: “Our children are very special for us. It was really difficult to be separated from them. This is a miracle for us to be home.”</p> <p>Mr Hill and Ms Maioni, were able to board a government repatriation flight to Dubai, arriving in the early hours of April 23, after two days of travelling via Frankfurt.</p> <p>“When we finally get to see Skye there will be lots of group hugs with the kids and my wife,” he said.</p>

International Travel

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Why Colin Firth and wife Livia Giuggi have separated now

<p>Colin Firth and his estranged wife Livia Giuggioli have made the decision to separate after attempts to rebuild their marriage failed, according to a report from<span> </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/movies/why-colin-firth-and-wife-split-2-years-after-her-affair-nothing-could-erase-her-betrayal/" target="_blank">People</a>.</em></p> <p>On December 13th, the pair revealed that they are separating after 22 years.</p> <p> “They maintain a close friendship and remain united in their love for their children,” a rep said in a statement.</p> <p>Those who were close to the couple weren’t surprised by this development when it came out that Livia, 50, had an extramarital relationship with Italian journalist Marco Brancaccia when Firth and her were separated between 2015 and 2016.</p> <p>“Things never really came around for them [after that],” a film industry source tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “No matter what was decided when they stayed together after her affair, nothing could erase that betrayal. It was time to move on, even though they had a solid family relationship and really wanted to save it.”</p> <p>The pair met on the 1996 BBC drama Nostromo, were married in 1997 and have two sons, Luca, 18 and Matteo, 16.</p> <p>“They love their sons and respect and care for each other, but it was just time,” says the source. “They want to protect their privacy and just move on.”</p> <p>Scroll through the gallery to see the couple in happier times.</p>

Relationships

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Living fabulously after separation or divorce

<p>Living fabulously after separation/divorce requires us to take time to not only grieve the ending of the relationship but also the breakdown of many of the other important life structures. For example; we may need to re-establish parenting arrangements, restructure our financial responsibilities, work obligations, move house, develop new friendships and establish new boundaries in our personal and work relationships.<span> </span><br /><br />Most people don’t get married thinking that they will one day be attending to a separation/divorce. Even if you were the one who instigated the divorce, the split still represents a loss that carries long-term life changing implications in many areas of your life. The time needed to grieve and re-establish balance again will vary for each person and it is important not to move quickly through the grieving phase or we may miss the opportunity to build a strong foundation for establishing our new identity and a new life that has both meaning and purpose.<span> </span><br /><br />The first step to living fabulously after separation/divorce requires you to form a new identity as a single person. This can be a harrowing task as it first requires us to breakdown our old partnership attachment identity and then to define new values, beliefs and thinking patterns aligned to your new goals as a single person.<span> </span><br /><br />Living fabulously after separation/divorce is not about becoming a better person but about becoming brand new; reinventing yourself from the inside out. This requires you to begin to make conscious choices about remaking yourself in a different form. It means intentionally doing things differently. This stage of life presents a wonderful opportunity to create a new future for yourself and a life that will allow you to express who you really are. Important considerations to assist you with this include pondering the following; How did I get to this place? What do I now want my life to look and feel like as a newly single person? What steps are now required of me to begin moving in my new direction?</p> <p><strong>Steps to Living Fabulously include:</strong></p> <p>1. Allow time to grieve the past. Find ways to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your partnership. This is essential if you are to successfully wrap up the past, make peace with it and move on to create a brand new you. There is now an empty space in your life and you want to ensure you fill it with people and activities that will be aligned to your new single status. You may want to engage a suitable therapist and/or coach to assist you.</p> <p>2. Learn to LOVE YOU! It’s now ME TIME. Regardless of your other responsibilities ensure you set aside time to begin to envision the life you would like to attract for yourself. Think about what your new future self looks and feels like. Where will you be living? What will you be wearing? What changes would you like to see occur in the future? This is a great time to engage in a fitness program, engage a stylist, change your look!</p> <p>3. Change your vibe by experimenting with a new attitude. How do you want the world to see you? Make time to go through your cupboards and decide what needs to go. Make your motto; “Ta, ta to the old, and hello to the new!” </p> <p>Be authentic, find your passion and your inner calling. You now have a blank canvas in front of you and the power to choose the colours and landscape of your new fabulous life.<span> </span><br />Remember happiness is contagious; live fabulously and become someone people want to catch! </p> <p><span>To find out more about Marina’s services and products and dating and relationship tips visit: </span><a rel="noopener" href="http://www.modernlovesolutions.com/" target="_blank">modernlovesolutions.com</a></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Marina Bakker. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/living-fabulously-after-separation-or-divorce.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a></span></em></p>

Caring

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"I never saw any evidence of marriage": New book claims Donald and Melania Trump lead separate lives

<p>A new book on Donald Trump has claimed that he and his wife Melania Trump live separate lives, with the 45th US President and First Lady only remaining together out of an arrangement.</p> <p>Following his commercially successful expose <em>Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House</em>, Michael Wolff has released another book on Trump’s presidency.</p> <p>In new book <em>Siege: Trump Under Fire</em>, Wolff claims that the speculations surrounding the First Lady – including rumours of a body double, an extended hospital stay, delayed relocation to the White House and multiple on-record slip-ups – are indications that the Trumps’ relationship is merely for publicity purposes.</p> <p>Wolff told <a href="https://www.news.com.au/world/north-america/inside-the-trump-marriage-michael-wolff-book-claims-donald-and-melania-lead-separate-lives/news-story/782af09528c7696217d116fd1460ff7d"><em>The Australian</em></a> that the couple’s marriage is a “deal” that is akin to the rumoured relationship contract between Hollywood stars Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.</p> <p>The book, which cites more than 100 sources, features Trump’s former director campaign and adviser Steve Bannon. </p> <p>“I never saw any evidence of a marriage,” Bannon said as quoted in the book. </p> <p>He told Wolff that most mentions of the First Lady “drew a puzzled look from Trump, as if to say, ‘How is she relevant?’”</p> <p>Wolff also claimed that the First Lady’s delayed move from New York to the White House also spoke volumes.</p> <p>“Indeed, a distraught Melania, repeatedly assured by her husband during the campaign that there was no possibility he would win, had originally refused to move to Washington,” Wolff wrote.</p> <p>“And, in fact, the First Lady was not really in the White House. It had taken Melania almost six months to officially relocate from New York to Washington, but that was in name only.”</p> <p>However, many news outlets have expressed doubts over the claims in Wolff’s new book. </p> <p>“The book is full of stuff that is lurid and sensational, but so dubious in its attributions that even in a review setting I’m afraid to repeat them,” wrote Matt Taibbi of <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/michael-wolff-siege-book-taibbi-review-844398/" target="_blank"><em>Rolling Stone</em></a>.</p> <p>According to CNN political analyst Ryan Lizza, the book also contains “factual errors that mar the author’s credibility”.</p> <p>While Trump has not commented on the new <em>Siege</em> book, he rejected Wolff’s claims in <em>Fire and Fury</em>, describing the book as “the Fake Book of a mentally deranged author, who knowingly writes false information”.</p>

Books

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Palace divided: Why Prince William and Prince Harry are planning to go their separate ways

<p>Prince William and Prince Harry’s brotherly bond is one that has flourished in front of the world, despite the many pressures and hardships they have faced together.</p> <p>It is common for the young generation of royals – William, Kate, Harry and Meghan – to be spotted together at various engagements, with some even dubbing them the royal version of the Fab Four.</p> <p>However, there are reports that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are planning a formal division of their joint household, Kensington Palace.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk"><em><strong><u>The Sunday Times</u></strong></em></a>’ royal correspondent Roya Nikkhah, the dynamic will change after Harry and Meghan welcome their first child into the world.</p> <p>"The Duke of Cambridge and Duke of Sussex are preparing to go their separate ways," says Nikkhah. </p> <p>"William and Harry are considering plans to split the Kensington Palace household and create two separate courts as their future roles with Kate and Meghan diverge," she adds.  </p> <p>The royal residence of Kensington Palace comprises of a main palace and additional homes on the grounds.</p> <p>It also operates as management of the young royals and their duties.</p> <p>Harry and Meghan currently reside in a cottage on the Kensington Palace grounds but it is expected they will move into an apartment in the main palace as they await the birth of their baby.</p> <p>In the future, William’s responsibilities will continue to increase as he prepares to become king, while Harry will branch out into a different set of responsibilities.</p> <p>“There is a gulf in the style and approach to the type of work that William and Kate will increasingly do as future head of state and consort, and Harry and Meghan, who have more of a blank canvas with their roles," says a royal insider at <em style="font-weight: inherit;">The Sunday Times</em>.</p> <p>"[The] William and Harry double-act has naturally been supplanted by the two couples and their families," <em style="font-weight: inherit;">The Times</em>’ insider continues.</p> <p>They add: "When William becomes the Prince of Wales, he will take on a lot of extra responsibility, including the Duchy of Cornwall and all that entails. Harry and Meghan have none of that, and seem ambitious about forging their own paths."</p> <p>Harry and Meghan will continue to focus on their work for mental health, disability, veterans and youth.</p> <p>While the brothers won’t live too far away from each other, splitting Kensington Palace will accommodate their growing families.</p> <p>The much-loved brothers will continue to delight fans with their close-knit relationship but will have different levels of management to support their evolving royal roles.</p> <p>“The brothers have leant on each other and looked after each other since their mother died. But now they have their own families, they no longer rely on each other as before," confirmed <em style="font-weight: inherit;">The Sunday Times</em> insider.</p> <p> "They have become different people with different outlooks on life. Splitting the household is the obvious thing to do."</p>

Relationships

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Boris Becker separates from wife after nine years of marriage

<p>After nine years of marriage, former German tennis star Boris Becker has separated from his wife Lilly Becker.</p> <p>On Tuesday, a representative for Boris confirmed that the couple were ending their marriage.</p> <p>“The decision after a 13-year-long relationship and nine years of marriage wasn’t an easy one,” Boris’ lawyer, Christian-Oliver Moser, told German news agency DPA.</p> <p>The lawyer said the couple are focused on their 8-year-old son, Amadeus, during this time and that their split was “amicable”.</p> <p>In June 2009, Boris and Lilly wed in Switzerland, announcing the same month they were expecting a child together.</p> <p>At the time, Boris told German newspaper <em>Bild</em>: “Yes, we’re going to be parents. We are really looking forward to our baby.”</p> <p>When Amadeus was born, the athlete said: “We are all overcome and rejoice in our life together with our son and a sibling for Noah, Elias and Anna.”</p> <p>Boris has two children with his previous wife, Barbara Feltus.</p> <p>Boris and Barbara were married from 1993 to 2001 and had Noah, 24, and Elias, 18.</p> <p>He also has 18-year-old daughter, Anna Ermakova, from a former relationship with model Angela Ermakova.</p> <p>At the age of just 17, Boris first won a tournament at Wimbledon in 1985. </p> <p>Since retiring from tennis, he has pursued different ventures including coaching tennis star Novak Djokovic for three years. </p>

Relationships

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Jennifer Aniston announces heartbreaking news

<p>Unlucky-in-love Jennifer Aniston has just announced she has split from her husband of two years, actor Justin Theroux.</p> <p>The couple, who have been together for more than seven years, broke the news via a statement to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://apnews.com/29ef88e81f554ac8a38a763454350cf3/Jennifer-Aniston-and-Justin-Theroux-announce-separation" target="_blank">AP</a></strong></span><span><a href="https://apnews.com/29ef88e81f554ac8a38a763454350cf3/Jennifer-Aniston-and-Justin-Theroux-announce-separation" target="_blank"></a>, explaining the decision to separate was "<span>mutual and lovingly made at the end of last year."</span></span></p> <p><span><span><img width="500" height="333" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7268434/shutterstock_256337176_500x333.jpg" alt="Shutterstock _256337176" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></span></span></p> <p><span><span>"<span>Normally we would do this privately, but given that the gossip industry cannot resist an opportunity to speculate and invent, we wanted to convey the truth directly.</span></span></span></p> <p><span><span><span>"<span>Whatever else is printed about us that is not directly from us, is someone else’s fictional narrative. Above all, we are determined to maintain the deep respect and love that we have for one another."</span></span></span></span></p> <p><span><span><span><span>Despite their choice to split, the couple say they are "<span>two best friends who have decided to part ways as a couple, but look forward to continuing our cherished friendship."</span><br /></span></span></span></span></p> <p><span><span><span><span><span>Aniston, 49, was previously married to Brad Pitt from 2000 to 2005.</span></span></span></span></span></p>

Relationships

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“Christmas is over for us”: Elderly couple forced into separate care homes

<p>An elderly couple have been left heartbroken after being forced into separate aged care facilities just days out from Christmas.</p> <p>Herbert, 91, and Audrey Goodine, 89, of New Brunswick, Canada, have been together for 73 years and still sleep in the same bed, but their daughter was notified last week that her father would removed from the Victoria Villa Special Care Home he had been sharing with her mother.</p> <p><img width="454" height="251" src="https://s.yimg.com/iu/api/res/1.2/W8QmOIhxOKTTahIOVY7EEQ--~D/cm90YXRlPWF1dG87dz05NjA7YXBwaWQ9eXZpZGVv/https://s.yimg.com/cv/ae/default/171218/christmas-ruined-art1.jpg" class="article-figure-image" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>In a Facebook post, their daughter Dianne Goodine Phillips wrote: “I read this message over several times in disbelief. How can anyone be so cold and cruel to do this a week prior to Christmas?”</p> <p>Dianne said she was given three option for her parents: two of them were to move to nursing homes more than two hours away from friends and family, the other was for her father to move to a home closer to family but away from his wife.</p> <p>“Because I was unwilling to make a decision on his new location within a few hours a representative from Social Development and a representative from the Victoria Villa approached my parents and forced them to make the decision on their own,” Dianne wrote.</p> <p>“I feel people need to know what a flawed system we have in place. Two words describe it ‘unethical and cruel’.”</p> <p><img width="458" height="253" src="https://s.yimg.com/iu/api/res/1.2/sOgDZCXAAnFJ0P3SwXxGoQ--~D/cm90YXRlPWF1dG87dz05NjA7YXBwaWQ9eXZpZGVv/https://s.yimg.com/cv/ae/default/171218/christmas-is-ruined-art3.jpg" class="article-figure-image" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>Dianne said her parents are devastated by the move, with her father moved to his new home on Monday.</p> <p>“When talking to my parents yesterday I listened to my mother weep and I could hear my father in the background,” Dianne said.</p> <p>“My mother said ‘Christmas is over for us now and this is the worst Christmas that we will ever have. Why could they not have waited till after the holidays?’”</p> <p>“I assured her that I tried everything to keep them together a few more days.”</p> <p>In a statement to CTV News, a Department of Social Development spokesperson said, “individuals who require a higher level of care than what can be provided in special care homes are moved to where their needs can be more appropriately met.”</p>

Caring

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The downside of separate bank accounts

<p>My husband and I were barely out of our teens when we walked into the bank to open a joint account. And close our personal ones.</p> <p>We weren't married, we didn't even live together. I was 20 and my friends were horrified. It wasn't so much the opening of the joint account they took exception to, but the closing of our personal ones, so that all money was shared. No his and hers, just ours.</p> <p>We are the daughters of the first generation of women who earned their own money their whole lives. We were born and raised to be independent women, with our own careers and our own money.</p> <p>I get that. A man is not a financial plan. And that works really well while both partners are earning money, but what happens when you have children? In Australia, most women stay home longer than their paid maternity leave lasts (and it is still mostly women staying home with children), while their husbands continue to work.</p> <p>But when men are the only ones in paid employment, what happens to the money?</p> <p>For my husband and I, the answer is easy. Everything continues as it always has: it is our money and we both have equal rights and responsibilities over it.</p> <p>But this is not the answer for many other couples.</p> <p>A friend of mine, Janine*, works in the finance industry. She is ambitious and earns good money. When she had her daughter six months ago she was entitled to the government paid parental leave, but when that dried up after 18 weeks, she was earning nothing. And, because she is staying at home for the 12 months unpaid leave from her employer she is entitled to, she was staring down the barrel at about 8 months of earning nothing while performing the daily grind of child-rearing.</p> <p>Janine and her husband do not share money. They have a joint account for bills and household expenses, but they have never shared disposable income. To prepare for having a baby, Janine saved money so she would be able to afford to have coffee and go out with her friends and buy clothes that would fit and go to the gym once her daughter was born.</p> <p>I don't mean Janine and her husband saved up. I mean Janine saved up her money, while her husband carried on, and carries on, as normal.</p> <p>Scrolling through the various mum groups on social media, it seems Janine's lack of equal access to family funds is quite normal.</p> <p>Just last week Vanessa* posted in one of these mum groups about her ingenious ways of saving money on the weekly grocery shop so she could "keep it for a rainy day and spend it on little luxuries for myself like a cup of coffee and piece of cake!" Vanessa's husband transfers $200 each week into the joint account to be used on food shopping for their family of five.</p> <p>To my astonishment, the post was celebrated, with other mothers thanking her for these tips and looking forward to what they would buy with their new-found cash.</p> <p>In my naivety, I thought women squirrelling money away from what their husbands gave them for food shopping was part of a bygone era. Apparently not.</p> <p>Kelly, a stay-at-home mother of two aged three and 8 months, had to miss a friend's birthday dinner at a restaurant and bar in the city because she couldn't afford to go. Nothing unusual there; a lot of family budgets are very tight and it makes sense that this means sometimes you can't go out.</p> <p>But Kelly's husband went. He could afford it. Because Kelly and her husband have an agreement where he transfers her an amount of money every month. Yep. Like an allowance. Her husband doesn't have an allowance. Like many women I know and have come across, Kelly says it's "his" money.</p> <p>Why is it "his" money, but "our" children?</p> <p>This is not independence. It's certainly not a partnership. The lack of access to funds may even tip into economic abuse.</p> <p>A man is not a financial plan. Absolutely. I completely agree. But neither is paupering yourself in service to the family while your husband goes out earning his own cash.</p> <p>It's not as if these women aren't working. They're working their guts out. Never mind keeping the kids fed, clothed, bathed, rested, and teaching them to be decent human beings, have you ever tried getting dried Weet-Bix off the floor?!</p> <p>Without his wife to stay home and look after the children, a husband would be forking out thousands of dollars a week in childcare costs. And probably hiring a cleaner and cook too. These women may think they are independent, but in fact they are being taken advantage of and undervalued by the very person who should value them the most.</p> <p>I don't ask my husband for permission or funds to get a cup of coffee or a new shirt just because he's the one in paid employment while I look after our son at home. And he wouldn't dream of arguing that I haven't "earned" the money so I'm not entitled to it.</p> <p>We believe that each of us contributes equally to the family and is of equal value to the partnership, and so we are equally entitled to any money brought in. And yes, that cup of coffee.</p> <p><em>*Names have been changed.</em></p> <p>Do you have a joint, or separate bank account with your partner?</p> <p><em>Written by Polly Dunning. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>. </em></p>

Money & Banking

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Separating fact from fiction on a visit to Transylvania

<p>There can be few places in the world where myth and marketing have so completely overshadowed reality as they have in Transylvania.</p> <p>It doesn't matter how much one repeats the mantra that vampires have as much to do with this mountainous region of Romania as the Loch Ness monster has to do with Lake Tekapo, the associations linger on... like a set of teeth marks.</p> <p>Transylvania happily trades on its association with Dracula although they do make some effort to retain some historical integrity by emphasising that the Dracula legend probably stems from stories surrounding the real and possibly even bloodier character of Vlad the Impaler.</p> <p>Fact and fiction still collide in an historically muddled collecting of t-shirts, mugs and fake teeth dripping blood in the souvenir market beneath Bran Castle, a 14th century fortress perched on a cliff about an hour's drive from the Transylvanian town of Brasov.</p> <p>The castle, which seems to grow out of its rock foundations is historically significant as part of the region's defences against the invading Ottoman Turks during the century and more recently as the last royal summer residence of Romanian royalty. The last king, Michael, was forced to abdicate in 1947.</p> <p>On a Romanian summer's long holiday weekend Bran was thronged with local tourists but the castle offers special after hours tours complete with a generous tasting of local wine (red of course). The tour guide appears dramatically from behind a curtain, a reincarnated Vlad.</p> <p>Such impersonations are often disasters, twee and painful. However, "Vlad" not only had an in-depth knowledge of Transylvanian history but had a wonderfully dry sense of humour and only once descended into stereotyping by offering to bite my neck.</p> <p>I've read several guidebooks that touring Bran's interior was not worthwhile. I disagree. The rooms are now beautifully restored, the views across the countryside beyond are spectacular and the castle's history is fascinating in itself, even if the real Vlad the Impaler apparently only stayed here a few nights while fleeing the Turks in 1462.</p> <p>Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia was a 15th century ruler who became a folk hero for defending the territories of Romania and Bulgaria from the incursions of the Turks. He was later dubbed Vlad the Impaler because of his favoured method of execution which, it's estimated, brought a grisly end to up to 100,000 people.</p> <p>Our Vlad, shortly before escorting us up a secret staircase while wryly pointing out that as we were about to troop up it, the secret aspect of it was somewhat lost, explained the two reasons Bran is now indelibly linked with Dracula.</p> <p>The first is that the author of the original Dracula story, Irishman Bram Stoker, when writing about Dracula's lair, in Transylvania, seem to rather accurately describe Bran (possibly after seeing an illustration in an early guide to the region).</p> <p>"And the second," said 'Vlad', "appears to be the result of a group of American tourists some decades ago imploring their guide to show them Dracula's castle. There was, of course no such thing but not wanting to disappoint them he brought them to Bran and as they say, the rest is now history… or not."</p> <p>On the border of Transylvania and the neighbouring region of Wallachia is another spectacular building with royal connections, Peles Castle.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img width="498" height="245" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/33369/image__498x245.jpg" alt="Image_ (69)"/></p> <p>Built between 1873 and 1914, Peles is more accurately a palace and was built for the Romanian king of the time, Carol I. Featuring about 170 rooms and 30 bathrooms, it was a costly exercise; in today's money the construction bill would amount to about $NZ165m.</p> <p>The style is a blend of Neo-Renaissance and Gothic Revival with towers, balconies and a central courtyard decorated with frescoes. Many of the rooms have an international flavour, being decorated in Italian, Moorish and even, rather ironically given the region's long history repelling the Ottomans, Turkish, styles.</p> <p>Bran and Peles tend to steal the limelight from Transylvania's other treasures, its medieval towns such as Sighisoara and Sibiu.</p> <p>Sighisoara doesn't entirely escape the Dracula phenomenon, having been the birthplaces of the historical figure Vlad the Impale. However, with its pastel-coloured houses, winding cobblestoned streets and medieval walls and towers (each of which named after the artisans' guild given the responsibility for its upkeep) it is a captivating place to explore.</p> <p>I spent some time here ensconced in a cellar because Sighisoara is the home of the best producers of Transylvanian brandies. Teo Coroian's pear, apple and plum brandies, together with a berry liqueur, pack quite a punch and have been produced by his family for over 200 years. He has a wall full of international awards too. I'd make a lousy judge because each one appeared to me to be better than the last.</p> <p>En route for Sibiu we stopped in Saschiz, a small Romanian village surrounded by fields of sunflowers and corn where farmers were still using horses and carts on the main roads. Ducks swam in the stream that flowed between the houses and elderly residents sat on benches outside their houses to watch the world go by.</p> <p>Sibiu, a city founded by German settlers known as the Transylvania Saxons, has not one, but three town squares. What arrests visitors most however, is the curious impression that one is being constantly watched.</p> <p>Many of the houses which once were home to wealth merchants have steeply pitched roofs to provide ample storage for goods. These attics were lit by tiny almond-shaped windows that look eerily like heavy-lidded eyes.</p> <p>A former European Union Capital of Culture, Sibiu hosts more festivals and craft fairs than any other place in Romania. Outside the Gothic Lutheran Evangelical Cathedral built between 1300 and 1520, artisan blacksmiths were at work, one crafting beautiful roses from iron.</p> <p>Inside the church an organist was practising on a baroque instrument built in 1671 which after additions in 1917, now features more than 6000 pipes, making it the largest pipe organ in south-eastern Europe.</p> <p>Only a few glittering façade pipes could be seen form the nave, which rather sums up Transylvanian …a place of hidden depths behind its more lurid exterior.</p> <p>Have you ever been to Transylvania?</p> <p><em>Written by Jill Worrall. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span>.</strong></a></em></p> <p><strong><em>No matter where you’re travelling to, making sure you know how to access your cash while away – and in the most affordable way – is very important. Easy to use and with countless benefits, the Over60 Cash Passport allows you to securely access your cash in the same way you use an ATM or credit card­. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://oversixty.cashpassport.com.au">To apply for a card today, click here.</a></span></em></strong></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/international/2016/12/5-alternatives-to-popular-european-trips/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 alternatives to popular European trips</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/international/2016/11/5-places-to-see-before-they-disappear/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 places to see before they disappear</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-tips/2016/11/10-best-places-to-visit-in-2017/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>10 best places to visit in 2017</strong></em></span></a></p>

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