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We talked to dozens of people about their experience of grief. Here’s what we learned (and how it’s different from what you might think)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Have you ever felt a sudden pang of sadness? A bird seems to stop and look you in the eye. A photo drops out of a messy drawer from long ago, in the mundanity of a weekend spring clean. Your day is immediately derailed, unsettled. You are pulled into something you thought was past. And yet, in being pulled back, you are grateful, reconnected, and grief-stricken all over again. “You’ll get over it”. “Give it time”. “You need time to move on”. These are common cultural refrains in the face of loss. But what if grief doesn’t play by the rules? What if grief is a different thing altogether? We talked to 95 people about their experiences of grief surrounding the loss of a loved one, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00380261241228412">their stories</a> provided a fundamentally different account of grief to the one often presented to us culturally. <h2>Disordered grief?</h2> Grief is often imagined as a time-bound period in which one processes the pain of loss – that is, adjusts to absence and works toward “moving on”. The bereaved are expected to process their pain within the confines of what society deems “normal”. The <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-the-dsm-and-how-are-mental-disorders-diagnosed-9568">DSM-5 psychiatric manual</a> says if grief drags on too long, in fact, it becomes a pathology (a condition with a medical diagnosis). “Prolonged grief disorder” is the name given to “persistent difficulties associated with bereavement that exceeded expected social, cultural, or religious expectations”. While there can be <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-prolonged-grief-should-be-listed-as-a-mental-disorder-4262">value</a> in clinical diagnostic categories such as this, the danger is they put artificial boundaries around emotions. The pathologisation of grief can be deeply alienating to those experiencing it, for whom the pressure to “move on” can be hurtful and counterproductive. The stories we gathered in our research were raw, complex and often fraught. They did not sit comfortably with commonsense understandings of how grief “should” progress. As bereaved daughter Barbara told us: "Grief is not in the little box, it doesn’t even come close to a little box." <h2>Grief starts early</h2> The tendency is to think of grief as something that happens post death. The person we love dies, we have a funeral, and the grief sets in. Then it slowly subsides with the steady march of time. In fact, grief often begins earlier, often in a clinical consultation where the words “terminal” or “nothing more we can do” are used. Or when a loved one is told “go home and get your life in order”. Grief can begin months or even years before bereavement. As the people we interviewed experienced it, loss was also cumulative. The gradual deterioration of a loved one’s health in the years or months before their death imposed other painful losses: the loss of chosen lifestyles, the loss of longstanding relational rhythms, the loss of shared hopes and anticipated futures. Many participants felt their loved ones – and, indeed, the lives they shared with them – slipping away long before their physical deaths. <h2>Living with the dead</h2> Yet the dead do not simply leave us. They remain with us, in memories, rituals and cultural events. From <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-ancient-cultures-teach-us-about-grief-mourning-and-continuity-of-life-86199">Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos</a> to <a href="https://theconversation.com/japans-obon-festival-how-family-commemoration-and-ancestral-worship-shapes-daily-life-179890">Japan’s Opon</a>, festivals of the dead play a key role in cultures around the world. In that way, remembering the dead remains a critical aspect of living. So too does <a href="https://theconversation.com/theres-not-always-closure-in-the-never-ending-story-of-grief-3096">the ongoing experience of grief</a>. Events of this kind are not merely celebratory. They are critical forms through which life and death, joy and grief, are brought together and integrated. The absence of remembering can hold its own trouble, as our participants’ accounts revealed. As bereaved wife Anna explained: "I just find it really frustrating and I do get quite angry and upset sometimes. I know that life goes on. I’d be talking to girlfriends and stuff like that and it’s like they’ve forgotten that I’ve lost my husband. They haven’t, but nothing really changed in their life. But for me, and my family, it has." Part of the problem, here, is the ambivalent role grief plays in advanced industrialised societies like ours. Many of our participants felt pressure to perform resilience or (in clinical terms) to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1363459317724854">“recover” quickly after loss</a>. But whose interests does a swift recovery serve? An employer’s? Friends who just want to get on with a death-free life? And, even more importantly, mightn’t ongoing connections with the dead enable better living? Might bringing the dead along with us actually make for better deaths and better lives? Many of our participants felt their loved ones remained with them, and experienced their “absent presence” as a source of comfort. Grieving, in this context, involved spending time “with” the dead. Anna described her practice as follows: "I had a diary, so I just write stuff in it about how I’m feeling or something happened and I’ll say to [my deceased husband], it’s all to [my deceased husband], “Do you remember, blah, blah, blah.” I’ll just talk about that memory that I have of that particular time and I find that that helps." <h2>Caring for those who grieve</h2> Grief does not begin at death, but neither do relationships end there. To rush the bereaved through grief – to usher them towards “recovery” and the more comfortable territories of happiness and productivity – is to do them a disservice. And, perhaps more critically, ridding our lives of the dead and grief may, in the end, make for more limited and muted emotional lives.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223848/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, Research Fellow, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, Professor of Sociology & Director, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-talked-to-dozens-of-people-about-their-experience-of-grief-heres-what-we-learned-and-how-its-different-from-what-you-might-think-223848">original article</a>.

Caring

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

Finding joy at age 100: Talking to centenarians about living their best life at any age

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Aging is seen as a period of loss, and there are unhelpful <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/10-myths-about-aging">myths about older adults</a>. Myths lead to treatable conditions being considered normal parts of aging, including cognitive decline, dementia, depression and loneliness. Some even consider exercise dangerous in older adults. At the same time, mainstream media promotes the message that <a href="https://doi.org/10.4236/jss.2017.58015">being young is central to a person’s value</a>. These ideas lead to ageism and older adults being seen as lesser. After spending time with six female centenarians in assisted living facilities, our research team — which included four nursing researchers and a documentary filmmaker — learned there is plenty still worth living for. Centenarians are a small but growing segment of the population with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/daily-quotidien/220928/dq220928c-eng.pdf?st=LrkfjZE_">13,844 centenarians in Canada</a>, and our findings debunk myths about the experience of aging. We asked the centenarians questions about what brings them joy and how they plan for the future because we wanted to learn how the very elderly plan for and find ways to live their best lives. The results of this study were <a href="https://vimeo.com/showcase/looking-forward-at-100">turned into a 32-minute documentary</a> that captures participants’ long and interesting lives and offers insight into continued meaning experienced by centenarians in their daily lives. Three of the centenarians died shortly after the interviews took place. <h2>Long and interesting lives</h2> The participants were born between the years 1919 and 1922. They were children during the Great Depression and young adults during the Second World War. One of the women helped build bullet casings and worked on the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/technology/Lancaster-airplane">Lancaster bomber</a>. Another woman helped her husband protect the blueprints of the ill-fated <a href="https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/avro-arrow">Avro Arrow aircraft</a> when he brought them home from work. Two women lost their husbands when their children were small and had to go to work to support their families. They all experienced love and adventure. Our team was fascinated by their stories and wanted to further explore what their lives look like today. Betty, 101, saw happiness as a choice. “I don’t know what’s really to complain about. I went through life staying happy,” she said. <h2>Joy and challenges</h2> This study used a research method called <a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/151684840/Braun-Clarke-2006-Using-Thematic-Analysis">thematic analysis</a> to find four themes: Finding Joy, Act your Age, Looking Forward and Putting Challenges into Perspective. The centenarians found joy each day and enjoyed the little things such as activities, visits and treats. Betty enjoyed cheating at solitaire and Jean, 100, played the piano. Clementina, 101, had fun gambling and Joyce, 100, continued to write stories and watch her grandchildren in music concerts. Family was central to their lives and they enjoyed spending time with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Two of the women stated that raising their children was the biggest accomplishment in their lives. The centenarians also found great joy in reminiscing about their interesting lives. However, one of the challenges was that there was no one left alive who had the same shared experiences. <h2>Limitations</h2> The centenarians were constrained by the limitations of society, their bodies and their self-perceptions. “You have to act your age,” said Clementina. She physically described this phenomenon by clasping her hands together in her lap and sitting still. Some participants found life to be boring at 100 compared to their lives as younger adults. They had limited opportunities to do what they would like. “We had homes,” said Joyce, 100, describing how they had known better lives, which made it hard to accept the constraints of their current existence. In spite of these feelings, many of the participants continued to be busy and live life fully despite limitations. Jean, despite needing a wheelchair for mobility, continues to do people’s taxes for a volunteer organization, plays piano for church services and leads choirs within her facility. “I am constantly rebelling against my situation physically,” she said. The other women in this study also continued to challenge norms of what their age and disabilities meant. Joyce writes and submits short stories for publication, and has a poem in the war archives in Ottawa. Assisted living facilities often prioritize resident safety, but this can come at a cost to personal freedom. Some residents only leave their facility accompanied by a facility employee or a family member. Clementina rebelled against this restriction and at the age of 97, snuck out of her assisted living facility in a cab to go to the casino, pretending that she was going to meet her son. All of the participants put their life challenges into perspective. They all had lost spouses, friends and some had lost their children. “I was broken,” Clementina said about losing her husband. Christine, 102, was asked how she managed after losing her husband when her children were still small. “I am still here,” she said. <h2>The future</h2> Most of the centenarians had few plans for themselves for the future and were more interested in leading their day-to-day lives. Betty jokingly described the inevitability of her death and that she was “looking for the bucket.” Most described being prepared to die except for Jean, who laughed and said she didn’t have time to die. “I have too many plans.” The centenarians looked to the future of their families and the larger community and entrusted the next generation to make good choices. Participants in this study had long and interesting lives and continued to find meaning each day. This study supports the idea that older adults continue to lead engaging lives and that we need to support older adults to live their best lives at any age. This article was also co-authored by journalist and filmmaker Kelly-Anne Riess and retired nursing instructor Susan Page.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, Assistant Professor of Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, Instructor, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, Associate Research Scientist, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/finding-joy-at-age-100-talking-to-centenarians-about-living-their-best-life-at-any-age-206852">original article</a>.

Caring

5 genius travel hacks no-one talks about

Genius travel influencer Grace Cheng has amassed a large following on Instagram by sharing her luxurious international adventures. But she's not just about the pretty pictures and glamorous destinations; she's also got some practical tips and tricks up her sleeve – one of which makes so much sense you will be a little cross you didn't think of it yourself. In a recent video, Cheng revealed her top five travel hacks that "no one talks about" – and while some of her tips were met with skepticism from readers and viewers, others were completely floored by how simple and effective they were. Tip 1: Freeze water bottles to get them through security Amazing, right? Cheng's first tip is such a game-changer for anyone who's ever had to throw away their water bottle at airport security. She claims you can actually take a full bottle of water through security ... if it's frozen. The logic is that ice is solid and water is liquid, so all you have to do is freeze the water before you leave for the airport. Then, before you hit security, just drink whatever has melted and carry on the rest. Cheng calls this one the "biggest hack ever" – and we're inclined to agree. No more paying for overpriced bottled water at the airport! Tip 2: Use a hair to check for hotel room intruders This one seems a little paranoid, but if you're ever worried about someone entering your hotel room while you're out, Cheng has a clever solution. She suggests taping a hair at the bottom of the door frame. When you come back to your room, you'll see if the hair has been broken or not. If it has, then you know someone has been inside. This is a pretty simple and effective way to check for intruders, and it's definitely worth trying if you're feeling paranoid. Tip 3: Board your economy flight last to get an empty row If you're flying economy, Cheng says you should always board the plane last. This is because it will give you a chance to see which seats are empty. Once you've spotted an empty row, you can politely ask the flight attendant if you can take one of the seats. With a little luck, you'll end up with a whole row to yourself, which is basically like flying business class. Tip 4: Book with the same hotel chain to get upgrades If you're a frequent traveller, Cheng says you should always book with the same hotel chain whenever possible. This is because you'll be more likely to get rewarded with upgrades and better customer service. Hotel chains often have loyalty programs that reward repeat customers. So, if you're always booking with the same hotel chain, you'll eventually start to rack up points that can be redeemed for upgrades, free stays and other perks. Solid tip, Cheng! Tip 5: Always carry a universal power adaptor Cheng says this is one of the most important travel hacks she's ever learned. She used to have to keep buying different adaptors for every country she visited, but now she just carries a universal adaptor with her. This is quite the lifesaver for any traveller who wants to avoid the hassle of finding and buying adaptors in every new country they visit. Overall, Cheng's travel hacks are a mix of clever tips and solid, commonsense advice. But whether you love them or hate them, there's no denying that they're worth checking out. So, next time you're planning a trip, be sure to give Cheng's hacks a try. You might just be surprised at how much they can make your travels easier and more enjoyable! <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by grace | TravelCreator✨ (@graceccheng)</a> </div> </blockquote> Images: Travel Creator @graceccheng / Instagram

Travel Tips

Try these tricks the next time small talk becomes unbearable

Real talk Bonnie Todd runs 250 food tours a year – a job that puts her in contact with hundreds of new people every week. Food-lovers come to her for an introduction to local tastes and flavours. And a large part of what keeps her guests satisfied, and willing to recommend her business to others, is the personal connection she makes with them. “I try to get past the small talk and general recommendations pretty quickly,” says the 42-year-old. “It’s all about finding common ground within the group, and trying to make it a unique experience. So I’m always asking questions. And when I find that spark of commonality, I dig into it.” The practice is key to Todd’s approach because, unlike many tours, hers require people to sit together sharing food and drinks. When groups don’t gel, or never get past the “Where are you from?” stage, what should be a stimulating experience can turn into an awkward and draining couple of hours. We’ve all been there: trapped in a superficial exchange that bounces aimlessly from one meaningless topic to the next. It can make you never want to step foot into another party again. But don’t despair: there are some tactics that can help you turn boring small talk into an energising conversation. Put yourself out there Improv performer Natalie Metcalfe’s job is to keep a scene going – to create an exchange that’s compelling for both the people involved and for a live audience. “In improv, it’s all about offers,” she says, referring to the act of bringing new information into the dialogue. Through these back-and-forths, the relationship between the characters is established and that kicks things off. “It’s the same thing in a regular conversation. You’re constantly making offers to see if you and the person you’re talking to can connect.” An offer in real life can be as simple as complimenting someone on what they’re wearing, and asking them about it. You can try sharing something you recently learned, or an interest you’ve just developed, creating an opening for the other person to ask you a question. Or, you can describe a relatable problem you’re having – a noisy neighbour, a plant that’s not thriving, a question of etiquette – as a prompt for advice, or some cooperative troubleshooting. One of Todd’s go-to approaches is to share a personal story of her own that relates to the other person’s experience. “If I find out someone has been to a place I’ve travelled, I’ll tell them an anecdote about what I did there, and ask them to share their own story.” Of course, putting yourself out there can sometimes feel scary, even when you’re not on stage. But Misha Glouberman, who runs a course called How to Talk to People About Things, says taking that leap pays off. “A lot of the time in conversations, there’s something we’re interested in, but there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to take the risk of revealing it because we think it might be boring or inappropriate.” But the result of following those internal cues of fascination has the opposite effect, he says. “People like learning about other people’s interests. So be more open about yours, and a little more curious about theirs as well.” Be inquisitive and listen Radio interviewer Terry Gross once said, that the only icebreaker you’ll ever need is, “Tell me about yourself.” Instead of asking a pointed question like “What do you do?”, this type of open question gives someone a chance to offer up a topic they might be more excited to discuss. “Talking about yourself is really pleasurable. It activates the exact same hormone in your brain as sex,” says Celeste Headlee, the author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter. “Another tip you can take from neuroscience is that if you start a conversation by allowing someone to feel good about themselves, then they’ll be more open to new ideas and new thoughts for the rest of the conversation.” Of course, upping your curiosity quotient needs to be paired with actually paying attention to the answer. “Listening is hard for homo sapiens. It’s not something our species does easily,” says Headlee. Indeed, people often start crafting their response before the person they’re talking to has finished speaking. Or they’ll get distracted, thinking about an email they forgot to answer. Since a great conversation is by definition a two-way street, these habits have the effect of ending one before it can even begin. Intentional listening, on the other hand, is a key to an empathetic, engaging dialogue. Use disagreement wisely According to Headlee, one of the other things that gets in the way of a meaningful conversation is the all-too-human need to be right. “A really common mistake is the ‘well, actually’ response,” she says, referring to that deflating moment when a person lets their need to correct you about a small detail you’ve just mentioned get in the way of continuing a story. “Google has made this worse,” she adds. “You’ll say, I went to the hotel with the largest patio in the entire world, and while you’re still talking, the person is already on their phone looking to see if that’s actually true.” But while trivial arguments can be an obstacle to a good conversation, Glouberman points out that differences of opinion can also help propel a chat into richer territory. “We assume that the world is just as we see it, that we see it directly,” he says. “But of course all of psychology and neuroscience tells us that’s not the case.” A respectful disagreement, if the other party is open to it, is a great opportunity to enrich your view of the world by understanding someone else’s. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/uncategorized/try-these-tricks-the-next-time-small-talk-becomes-unbearable" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Relationships

Extreme weather events are exactly the time to talk about climate change – here’s why

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Record-breaking heatwaves are <a href="https://public.wmo.int/en/media/news/simultaneous-heatwaves-hit-northern-hemisphere-summer-of-extremes">sweeping across the northern hemisphere</a>, affecting large parts of southern Europe, the US and China. On July 24, Sicily recorded blistering temperatures <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-66302472">of more than 47.5℃</a> and wildfires are currently <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/25/how-bad-are-wildfires-in-greece-what-caused-them-visual-guide-heatwave">tearing through Greece</a>. The heatwaves come as <a href="https://www.reuters.com/graphics/CANADA-WILDFIRE/HISTORIC/znvnzebmavl/">record numbers of fires continue to burn</a> across Canada. A <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-66289489">study by the World Weather Attribution group</a> found that these heatwaves would have been “virtually impossible” without climate change. In fact, the heatwave that is affecting parts of China was made 50 times more likely by global warming. This is exactly what climate scientists have been warning us about for decades – climate change makes many types of extreme weather event <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/explainer-what-the-new-ipcc-report-says-about-extreme-weather-and-climate-change/">more likely, more intense and longer lasting</a>. As a PhD researcher examining extreme weather events and climate change communication, I have spent the past four years exploring how extreme weather events may affect the way the public feels, thinks and acts on climate change. One area of interest to researchers is how extreme weather events might reduce the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272494422000676">“psychological distance”</a> associated with climate change. While climate change can feel abstract and vague, extreme weather is something people can experience firsthand. But <a href="https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/ab466a/meta">research offers contrasting results</a>. Some studies have found that extreme weather events lead to an <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/full/10.1017/S0022381612000448?casa_token=dTns6Kvds1AAAAAA%3AkQcleVJ95vJUyh5Pg2vxvFEDbzfR1RsuOI131QCMO0wvdtIiLSVEq4EW6fZYwC7Yhraxj-NB9g">increased belief</a> that human-driven climate change is occurring and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-016-1837-4">greater support for climate action</a>. Others <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-021-03176-z">find no effects</a> or suggest that these effects are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0959378017309135?via%3Dihub">only temporary</a>. However, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-32412-y">we often underestimate</a> how much the public already cares about climate change. In Britain, <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1164127/desnz-pat-spring-2023-net-zero-and-climate-change.pdf">just 4% of the public</a> say they are not at all concerned about climate change, while only <a href="https://climatecommunication.yale.edu/about/projects/global-warmings-six-americas/">11% of Americans</a> dismiss the issue. Given that <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/04/18/a-look-at-how-people-around-the-world-view-climate-change/">most people</a> are already concerned about climate change, an important question now is how to shift these existing concerns into action. <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-your-family-and-friends-about-the-new-ipcc-report-five-tips-from-climate-change-communication-research-202306">Talking about climate change</a> is a powerful way of mobilising climate action, and extreme weather events provide helpful climate conversation starters. We can use these moments as opportunities to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20563051231177930">engage our families, friends and communities</a> in discussions about how climate change may relate to these events and <a href="https://drawdown.org/solutions">what we can do about it</a>. So, if you decide to engage people you know in discussions about extreme weather and climate change, here are a few thoughts and guidelines to keep in mind. <h2>1. Listen and share perspectives</h2> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618520300773">Extreme weather events can be traumatic</a> and climate change can evoke a wide range of emotional responses. If the person you are talking to is comfortable discussing the topic, ask them about their experiences and observations. Encourage them to tell stories and affirm the validity of their emotional response – whether they are afraid, angry, hopeful or worried. There is no one right way to feel about climate change, so listen to what they have to say and then share your own perspective too. <h2>2. Talk about planning and preparation</h2> When discussing extreme weather events, some people may link their experiences to climate change, while others focus on various local factors that contribute to extreme weather risks. The risks associated with extreme weather arise from a <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg2/chapter/summary-for-policymakers/">combination</a> of factors. These include the weather itself, which can be influenced by climate change, the level of exposure of people and places to extreme weather and the vulnerability of those to harm. Climate change, for instance, can affect the frequency, intensity and duration of wildfires. But emergency responses, evacuation procedures, firefighting and healthcare systems are crucially important to reduce risks. There are also significant equity and justice implications of extreme weather as different populations are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41885-020-00060-5">affected disproportionally</a>. It’s also important to bear in mind that while climate change affects many extreme weather events, it <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/climate-change-not-the-main-driver-of-madagascar-food-crisis-scientists-find/">does not necessarily affect every instance</a>. Weather systems are complex and there are <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-why-climate-change-isnt-always-to-blame-for-extreme-rainfall-206958">meteorological processes</a> that scientists are still trying to understand. We also need to make sure the roles of local planning and preparation in minimising the impact of these events are not overlooked. <h2>3. Challenge arguments about politicising the weather</h2> In May 2023, Republican governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, dismissed concerns about global warming by claiming that he rejects the <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/desantis-climate-change-fox-news-b2346211.html">“politicisation of the weather”</a>. Ontario premier, Doug Ford, recently <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-climate-change-forest-fires-politics-ford-stiles-1.6869071">made a similar argument</a> about Canada’s wildfires. In conversations, it’s possible that someone might accuse you too of “politicising” the weather. You can (respectfully) push back against this claim. This argument is a <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/global-sustainability/article/discourses-of-climate-delay/7B11B722E3E3454BB6212378E32985A7">discourse of climate delay</a>. Rather than denying the existence of human-driven climate change, climate delay discourses try to shut down climate discussions and cast doubt on the need to act very quickly. These arguments disingenuously assert that acting on climate is too expensive, too late or that someone else should take care of it – and they are <a href="https://theconversation.com/climate-change-multi-country-media-analysis-shows-scepticism-of-the-basic-science-is-dying-out-198303">becoming increasingly common</a>. If we shouldn’t discuss climate change when extreme weather occurs, then when is the right time? If we want to protect lives, we need to talk about – and act upon – the risks associated with extreme weather events and the disasters they can cause. If talking about climate change politicises the weather, so be it. The politics of climate denial and delay affected this summer’s weather, and our current decisions will shape our planet for thousands of years. The science is clear. Act now or face increasingly dire consequences.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210412/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, Doctoral researcher, School of Geography and the Environment, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/extreme-weather-events-are-exactly-the-time-to-talk-about-climate-change-heres-why-210412">original article</a>.

Travel Trouble

Legendary model Christie Brinkley talks body image ahead of her 70th birthday

Christie Brinkley may be pushing 70 but she’s showing no signs of switching up her sensual public image. The 69-year-old Vogue model will still be donning bikinis for social media and says she feels as good as she did 40 years ago. “I feel strong,” Brinkley told People, “I pretty much feel, as I'm approaching 70, the same way that I felt when I was approaching 30. I feel good.” She spoke to the outlet while hosting Pet Life Unlimited’s Forever Young senior dog adoption event at the Animal Haven shelter in New York City. “I feel like the number doesn't match my spirit, so I may as well just keep spiriting on,” she added. She will turn 70 on February 2, 2024. “I think they all signal to us certain things,” she said. “I've been shocked by not feeling the way I thought I was supposed to be feeling at that age,” she explained. “I don't believe that focusing on age is going to make you feel any better about it.” And her advice for looking young was, “I think curiosity in the world around you and just wanting to do something with each day, that is what keeps you young and going.” The 69-year-old shared that her family keeps her grounded. She has two daughters, Alex Ray, 37, and Sailor, 24, and one son Jack, 27. “I just love any time I have any family and friends around, just being able to sit and laugh — I think laughter heals everything,” she continued. In 2022, Brinkley spoke about her figure. She was seen in a crop top and shorts while stretching on the beach and offered some solid advice. “When you eat too much, it’s not as easy to lose the weight, so here’s a tip that’s tried and true, that will make you feel like your best you,” she said. She also advised, “avoid the sugar and do exercise, it’s not about the size of your thighs.” “Vibrant good health will be your prize! Reminder this month when you buy a bottle, you’ll put planting trees into full throttle!” she said. The mum-of-three was spotted in a light blue swimsuit while walking on the shore in the Caribbean and took to Instagram to reveal to followers what she eats to stay in shape. She broke down her healthy diet tips and tricks that don’t skimp on flavour but rely heavily on freshly picked fruit. In one post she uploaded an image of freshly cut papaya sprinkled with greens. “My neighbors grew this papaya! Look at the rich color! I'm planting the seeds from this papaya!”she wrote. Another post showcased her breakfast which appeared to consist primarily of fresh fruit. “Today's breakfast! Chia seeds really fill you up fast, great source of fiber and quercetin an antioxidant that can reduce your risk of developing several health conditions including heart disease!”, she wrote. Another post saw blueberries and raspers over chia seeds mixed with a “milk replacement” and pecans on top. “Easy to make too just put 2 tablespoons of chia seeds for every half cup of your milk replacement of choice. I love it made with coconut milk or Oatmilk, Just pop it in the fridge and it will puff up. Ta Da! “Add fruit dribble with honey if you have a sweet tooth.” Image credit: Instagram

Body

‘We lose ourselves’: carers talk about the lonely, stressful work of looking after loved ones

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> An informal personal carer is someone who looks after a family member, neighbour or friend in need of care due to disability, illness or age. In Australia, there are approximately 2.8 million informal personal carers, including 906,000 who are primary carers. Projections suggest the national demand for carers will <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/FINAL-Value-of-Informal-Care-22-May-2020_No-CIC.pdf">rise 23% by 2030</a>. Around one in ten Australians are informal carers: <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-welfare/informal-carers">most of these unpaid</a>. This group of people support one of society’s most foundational needs and our economy would struggle without them. Yet, little is understood about their experiences. <a href="https://bristoluniversitypressdigital.com/view/journals/ijcc/aop/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981.xml">Our recent research</a> reveals how this group of carers lack necessary support for their own wellbeing. <h2>Our research</h2> We interviewed 36 informal personal primary carers living across Western Australia and Queensland. Respondents were aged between 34 and 69 years, and had all been the primary carer for a child, parent, partner, or in-law, for between two and 21 years. Data was collected in two waves: one in 2020 and the other in 2021. Respondents were recruited with the help of an Australian carers’ organisation. <h2>‘I’d rather it be someone else’s problem’</h2> Many of the carers we spoke to said they were not caring by choice, but by necessity. They said they feel both unseen and undervalued. A husband who had been caring for his wife who suffers from Alzheimer’s said: "I would rather work. I really don’t like being a carer. I’d rather it be someone else’s problem. Being a carer, you just get forgotten." Carers generally provide care around-the-clock, yet their compensations (such as <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/carer-payment">carer payments</a>) are far from equivalent to full-time pay. The carer payment, for example, equates to only <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/programs-projects/caring-costs-us/">28% of weekly ordinary time earnings</a> in Australia, and carers can expect to lose <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/carers-are-17700-worse-off-every-year-in-superannuation-payments/#:%7E:text=Caring%20Costs%20Us%3A%20The%20economic%20impact%20on%20lifetime,every%20year%20they%20are%20in%20that%20caring%20role.">approximately $17,700 in superannuation</a> every year they provide care. Few of <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carers Australia’s pre-budget submission items</a> to benefit carers were adopted in the most recent federal budget. Instead, the budget contained items which may indirectly benefit carers through <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/2023-24-Budget-What-it-means-for-carers.pdf">increased support for the cared-for</a>. But these measures do not explicitly recognise and support carers’ wellbeing. Similarly, the recent draft of the <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/resources/draft-national-strategy-care-and-support-economy">National Strategy for the Care and Support Economy</a> recognises the contribution informal carers make to Australia’s economy but focuses on paid care and support. Our interviewees spoke about the personal costs of their work, and the stress and loneliness they experience. They shared feelings of being taken for granted as if their role was not work, let alone difficult work. One mum caring for her disabled son shared: "I just want people to see that, [a] carer doesn’t have any leave, paid leave, or recognition. People just think that’s your loved one, that’s your job. But I do want people to understand that I did not choose to be a carer as my career, but I will do it because it is important." This played into a feeling of people losing their sense of self, because caring work was so demanding and time consuming. A mother who had been caring for her daughter for 17 years after she had been involved in an accident said, "People don’t realise how much we put our life on hold to support the people that need that emotional and mental and physical and spiritual support. We put ourselves in the back shed while we’re supporting them, so we lose ourselves." <h2>A mental toll</h2> Many spoke of how they once had individual goals and ambitions, which they now considered unachievable. All of our interviewees had quit jobs and halted careers to take on personal care full-time. One mother caring for her ill child said: "I think if I had a crystal ball, I don’t know that I would perhaps have become a parent, I think I would have just stuck to my corporate life and had a cat and be done with it." The mental health toll experienced by carers in our study was clear throughout all interviews. A mother looking after her child with mental health challenges expressed: "Every carer has mental health impacts from being a carer. They won’t say it’s depression or anxiety, but it’s mental health because when the hierarchy of needs is not being met for you, you can’t provide them for somebody else." As one interviewee explained, the demanding nature of the work had left them exhausted and as though they “can’t do it”. Our interviewees spoke of “falling apart” under the strain of constantly caring for high-needs people in their households. One mother who cared for her children who were both on the autism spectrum recalled: "How many times, if I don’t go to the bathroom and have a shower to cool down myself, I could kill the kids and myself easily. That’s how bad. We are not ever in the category to get help." <h2>Feeling abandoned</h2> Because so much of their work happens in pre-existing relationships and behind closed doors, carers talked about not just feeling unseen but abandoned. A common theme across all interviews was how carers felt abandoned by institutions, health professionals and, in many cases, friends and family members. One husband who had cared for his wife for close to 20 years said: "The government doesn’t even care about the carers […] we’re not really getting anything and then they’re trying to take the crumbs off us." Carers do not have psychological, institutional or social support for themselves as individuals, separate from their role. But these support pillars are necessary so the entire responsibility of care does not fall solely on informal carers. <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carer-inclusive activities</a> could be a good start. But policy should also be responsive to the unique and unmet needs of carers. These relate to the lack of personal and professional development, feelings of abandonment and social isolation. With an ageing population, a pandemic, and an emerging crisis over the quality of care for older Australians and people with disabilities, the role of informal carers has become increasingly important. The truth is that most of us will likely, at some point, undertake care work or be the person being cared for. Better formalised support for carers will ultimately improve the care for the most vulnerable among us and society as a whole. If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Business and Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-lose-ourselves-carers-talk-about-the-lonely-stressful-work-of-looking-after-loved-ones-206409">original article</a>.

Caring

Florida’s plan to ban ‘period talk’

Politicians in Florida are considering a draft law to strengthen state control over sex education in students. This would ban any lessons in schools teaching students about menstrual cycles before high school. The proposal comes after Florida’s Republican-dominated legislature, backed by Governor Ron DeSantis, passed various laws limiting discussion in schools of gender and sexuality, reducing the emphasis on diversity in public schools across the state. The latest proposal came from Republican Stan McClain which would allow instruction "acquired immune deficiency syndrome, sexually transmitted diseases, or health education” only from sixth grade through to 12, typically children aged 12-18. Girls generally have their first period between the ages of 10 and 15, but some do as young as eight. "Imagine a little girl in fourth grade, going to the bathroom and finding blood in her panties and thinking that she is dying," state representative Ashley Gantt, a Democrat, said in a social media post. "She doesn't actually know what's going on. And her teacher does not even have the ability to tell her that this is a part of life.” However, the bill passed the subcommittee by a 13-to-5 vote. Planned Parenthood said the legislation would take "total control from local school districts in approving sex ed curriculum and give it to the State Department of Education", in turn presenting a "reductive and binary view of sex" and stigmatising LGBTQIA+ students. Critics say conservative legislatures in the USA are trying to impose their own views on others, preventing students from having a well-rounded education. Image credit: Shutterstock

Legal

We need to talk about monkeypox without shame and blame

The recent global outbreak of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/diseases/monkeypox-mpx">monkeypox</a> largely among <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/07/26/1113713684/monkeypox-stigma-gay-community">men who have sex with men</a> has raised concerns homophobia will undermine effective prevention efforts. There are also fears the disease will fuel homophobic stigma and discrimination. Even the name monkeypox <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-in-a-name-why-giving-monkeypox-a-new-one-is-a-good-idea-185307">is stigmatising</a> due to long-held <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/08/01/1113908154/critics-say-monkeypox-is-a-racist-name-but-its-not-going-away-anytime-soon">racist appropriation of the term monkey</a> and the false implication the virus is transmitted by monkeys. The <a href="https://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-covid-19-media-briefing--14-june-2022">World Health Organization</a> has said the name needs to change, but has not agreed on or announced a new one. Currently, <a href="https://www.aconhealth.org.au/monkeypox">advocates for the LGBTQA+ community</a> are using the term MPX, the term I will use here. MPX is, of course, not the first infectious disease to affect men who have sex with men. So there are things we must learn and things we must not repeat from the public health response to HIV. <h2>Lessons from HIV</h2> When HIV emerged among communities of gay and bisexual men in the 1980s, fear and uncertainty about the cause and nature of the virus led to <a href="https://theconversation.com/lessons-from-the-history-of-hiv-aids-in-australia-how-activism-changed-the-image-of-an-illness-4052">vilification of gay and bisexual men</a>. HIV was initially named “<a href="https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdfplus/10.2105/AJPH.2021.306348">gay-related immune deficiency</a>” or GRID and there was speculation it was caused by men’s excessive sex or drug use (specifically use of <a href="https://theconversation.com/weekly-dose-amyl-started-as-a-poison-antidote-now-a-common-party-drug-64610">amyl nitrate</a>). As well as sparking calls for a crackdown on the rights and freedoms of LGBTQA+ communities, the view gay and bisexual men were to blame for HIV obstructed effective public health responses. Famously, in the United States, then President Ronald Reagan <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-history-month-early-days-america-s-aids-crisis-n919701">made no public mention of HIV or AIDS</a> until more than 12,000 American citizens had died, and HIV had spread widely into many communities. Although today, globally, <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet">HIV affects more women</a> than men, it is still difficult to disentangle <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2012/august/20120828punitivelaws">HIV-related stigma from homophobia</a> or stigma against other affected populations, including injecting drug users or sex workers. <a href="https://theconversation.com/charlie-sheen-and-ten-million-dollars-worth-of-hiv-stigma-50909">Stigma creates barriers</a> to HIV prevention as people are reluctant to talk about HIV or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-6156-4">seek testing</a> for fear of being associated with stigmatised groups. It also perpetuates a fundamental lack of empathy for people living with HIV. For these reasons, it’s important we don’t approach MPX in these terms. <h2>A new approach?</h2> There are <a href="https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-07-21/monkeypox-government-response-we-can-do-better">some reports</a> of MPX being used to justify homophobic sentiment or actions. However, a crucial difference between this disease and HIV is <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blaming-gay-men-for-monkeypox-will-harm-everyone/">the world has learned</a> from HIV. There is now better understanding of the insidious ways <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(20)30127-3/fulltext">stigma and discrimination undermine public health</a>. HIV also taught us to be cautious about the potential for public health messaging to contribute to stigma, especially when an illness is associated with <a href="https://www.nihr.ac.uk/blog/the-perfect-storm-how-covid-19-public-health-messages-may-not-serve-ethnic-minority-communities/30257">marginalised cultural or racial groups</a>. Health policy makers have been <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/23/un-denounces-homophobic-and-racist-reporting-on-monkeypox-spread">fast to condemn</a> stigmatising media reporting of MPX. Meanwhile the community-based HIV sector has mobilised existing infrastructure and experience to support <a href="https://www.acon.org.au/">advocacy and MPX education</a> for men who have sex with men. Importantly, we now have better knowledge about the effectiveness of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31210141/">sex-positive approaches</a> to preventing HIV and other sexually transmissible infections (STIs). <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/26410397.2019.1593787">Such approaches</a> affirm the pleasures and benefits of sex, aim to build open dialogue about safe sex and ensure people can seek testing without fear of judgement or backlash. <h2>The impact of sexual moralising</h2> We have learned lessons from HIV. However, MPX has exposed the ways sexual moralising is ever-present in public health, undermining sex-positive health promotion. Observers of early media responses to MPX note efforts to avoid stigmatising gay and bisexual men have <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jun/23/monkeypox-outbreak-public-information-virus-homophobia">led to obtuse and confusing reporting</a> about the ways in which the disease, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-does-monkeypox-spread-an-epidemiologist-explains-why-it-isnt-an-sti-and-what-counts-as-close-contact-188130">although not classified as an STI</a>, can be spread through close physical contact and why gay and bisexual men may be at risk of exposure. Reporting has been deliberately vague because there is very limited cultural space for speaking about group sex, casual sex or sex with multiple partners without these practices, and people involved, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/04/opinion/monkeypox-communication.html">being shamed</a>. Despite increasing acceptance of sexual diversity, people’s <a href="https://www.ippf.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/Putting%20Sexuality%20back%20into%20Comprehensive%20Sexuality%20Education_0.pdf">right to engage in pleasurable sex</a> outside a married, monogamous relationship is rarely affirmed. Young women, for example, are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8296320/">shamed</a> for having “too many” sexual partners, while calls for comprehensive, <a href="https://theconversation.com/sex-ed-needs-to-talk-about-pleasure-and-fun-safe-sex-depends-on-it-and-condom-use-rises-176572">pleasure-based sex education</a> are controversial. While the world has come a long way toward acceptance of same-sex marriage, homophobia often drives condemnation of gay and bisexual men’s sexual cultures. This is most visible in relation to public health. For example, when pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) first became available to prevent HIV, public funding for it <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4566537">was critiqued</a> by some on the grounds this amounted to subsidising gay and bisexual men’s <a href="https://blogs.bmj.com/medical-ethics/2016/10/08/sex-and-other-sins-public-morality-public-health-and-funding-prep/">promiscuity</a>. When considered through the lens of public health, casual sex is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9566.2012.01475.x">often equated with irresponsibility</a>. People’s right to seek sex and intimacy can also be devalued or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6951379/">seen as irrelevant</a>. We know, however, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/11-02-2022-redefining-sexual-health-for-benefits-throughout-life">acknowledging the significance</a> of sexual identities and sexual connection in people’s lives is the best way to engage communities in sexual health promotion. <h2>A sex-positive approach</h2> As current vaccine supplies for MPX are limited in many jurisdictions, including Australia, <a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-secures-450-000-new-monkeypox-vaccines-what-are-they-and-who-can-have-them-187691">priority access is being given</a> to high-risk groups, including men who have sex with men who have multiple sexual partners. Given men are being asked to disclose their sexual practices to obtain a vaccine, assurance of non-stigmatising health care will be essential for this program to be successful. A sex-positive approach to MPX prevention will also support more open conversations so people can gain a better handle on risk and prevention, no matter who they are.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/188295/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-power-4215">Jennifer Power</a>, Associate Professor and Principal Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-need-to-talk-about-monkeypox-without-shame-and-blame-188295">original article</a>. Image: Getty

Caring

Tom Cruise in talks for third Top Gun movie

Tom Cruise is already in talks for a third Top Gun movie. The sequel, Top Gun: Maverick, spectacularly hit $1 billion at the box office worldwide, 36 years after the first installment of the franchise. It actually took about 30 years to convince Cruise to get involved with the Top Gun sequel. “We definitely wanted to do another after the first one became such a success,” producer Jerry Bruckheimer told Boss Hunting. “But it took [director] Joe Kosinski who came up with the story. We flew to Paris where Tom was filming Mission: Impossible at the time, we pitched him the story. “Joe had a lookbook. He had a poster. And he pitched what you saw. And Tom loved it. That’s how we got it going. “After that, Tom picked up the phone, called the head of Paramount, and said: ‘I want to make another Top Gun’.” Miles Teller, who played Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, the son of Goose - Maverick’s best friend, is also speaking to Cruise about a potential third film. “I’ve been having some conversations with him [Tom Cruise] about it. We’ll see. “That would be great, but that’s all up to TC. “It’s all up to Tom.” Image: YouTube

Movies

The W word is tough to talk about, but we need to be better prepared

Widowhood isn’t a topic that is widely discussed. Yet with some women left financially ruined after the unexpected death of their spouse or partner – especially if they suddenly find themselves single parents. It is a discussion we should be having, both to support newly widowed women and to lessen the financial burden on those who may follow. ‘My partner is gone and I don’t know how I’m going to make ends meet.’ This is a situation that no one wants to face, yet many women sadly do. And it isn’t just elderly women or those in retirement. Between 2018 and 2020, suicide and accidental poisonings were the two <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-death/deaths-in-australia/contents/leading-causes-of-death" target="_blank" rel="noopener">leading causes of death among 25-44 year-olds</a> – both of which can occur without warning. For the partners left behind, their grief is compounded by another painful loss – the loss of financial stability. ‘It won’t happen to me’ Too many women overestimate their financial resources and protections, while believing their partner will always be there to cover their back. Can you afford to pay the bills after the sudden loss of income – which may have been the bulk of your household earnings? Do you have the full picture of your, and your partner’s, assets, and debts? How will you juggle your job with the new-found constraints of being single, and potentially a single parent? If your partner was self-employed, is the business still profitable or even viable if they’re gone? Has its value suddenly diminished? These are just several of many issues widows face, at an already stressful time. Preventing the worst While we can’t control death, I think there are two equally important preventative actions women can – and must – take to avoid becoming cash-strapped widows. Firstly, ensure your partner looks after themselves. Men especially often ignore their own health, until it’s too late. Be a source of encouragement and support, and hopefully keep them earthside much longer, with a good diet, regular exercise, stress-relieving activities, and regular medical check-ups for physical and mental health. However, healthy lifestyles don’t guarantee a long life. Which is why contingency plans are crucial. Protecting yourself and your/your partner’s dependents should they die includes having: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Emergency cash fund </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Household savings and investment plan </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Life insurance </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Funeral cover </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Current will </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Nominated superannuation/trust beneficiaries (which are separate from a will) </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Succession/exit plan for any business owned </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Self-employed people paying their worker’s compensation and superannuation </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Qualified tax and financial advice </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Good debt management </li> </ul> Coping with loss To every widow, let me first say I am so sorry for your loss. You may feel overwhelmed by your new reality. Money worries will only add to this. Some immediate options to ease this pressure and let you focus on processing your grief with loved ones include: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Time off: Work may seem like a good distraction, but you risk making poor decisions under clouded judgement. Take bereavement/annual leave to keep money coming in. For the self- employed, have a business partner/senior employee cover for you. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Notify your partner’s employer: To pay out remaining wages and entitlements. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Life insurance, funeral cover: Check your partner’s policies, including through their superfund. Lodge a claim as soon as you can – it takes time to be processed and paid out. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Get support: You may be eligible for <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/what-help-there-when-adult-dies?context=60101" target="_blank" rel="noopener">government support measures</a>, including deferred obligations and bereavement payments. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> If your partner died at work: Worker’s compensation or other payouts could be owed to you. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Counselling: Free services include <a href="https://griefline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Griefline</a> or your/your partner’s Employee Assistance Program. </li> </ul> Life as a single woman It’s now entirely up to you to manage money and save for retirement. I recommend getting good professional advice to work through: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Transferring assets to be under your name </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Maintaining a roof over your head – which may mean downsizing to a more affordable home </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Adjusting to life on one income </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Maximising earnings; minimising tax </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Investing larger payouts – your late partner’s superannuation, insurances, compensation </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Business strategy – how and whether to sell or continue trading </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Updating your will; providing for dependent children/elderly parents </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Meeting debt obligations </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Should you enter another relationship down the track, whether a binding financial agreement is needed </li> </ul> The death of a partner is emotionally devastating. Yet it needn’t devastate you financially too. No matter your situation or life stage, I implore you: take an active role in managing your money. The death of a partner will necessitate it, but you’ll make a difficult situation that bit easier by having financial strategies already in place to fall back on. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Image: Shutterstock

Retirement Life

Boss threatens to sue employees over wage talk

An employee has called out her manager after he threatened to fire staff for talking about their wages. The business owner of Planet Fitness gym in Kentucky, US, hung a poster on the wall informing staff not to talk about their wages because it is illegal. However, under the National Labor Relations Act, employees are entitled to speak about their wages freely. “ATTENTION ALL SUBORDINATES,” the letter, which was shared to Reddit began. “Effective immediately, conversing about wages (both on duty and off duty) is strictly forbidden, “This is considered proprietary information and as such, it is protected legally. “If you are overheard speaking (OR LISTENING TO!!) a conversation in which wages are discussed, you will receive disciplinary action up to and including termination.” One of the gym’s employees, Shelly, did not accept her boss's premise and decided to get back at him. Another photo shared to the post shows multiple hammers and sickles drawn on it - representative of the communist party. “Seeing as you’re a manager in the great illustrious word (sic) of Planet Fitness gym franchises, it may behoove (sic) you to become familiar with the laws pertaining to it,” Shelly wrote. “Sprinkling legalese and word-salad across an 8.5x11 paper you printed does not make a legal doc. “Needless to say, you can’t legally tell us not to discuss wages in the good ol’ U.S. of A. We will continue to do so.” She ended the note with “Love, $10.50 an hour Shelly” which then saw her colleagues write their own wages. Viewers commended Shelly for the move which showed a united front against the boss who was very much in the wrong. "I LOVE $10.50 an hour Shelly!" someone wrote. "Long Live Shelly. I hope she is $25.00 an hour Shelly very very soon,” another commented. “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of SHELLY SHELLY!" another joked. Images: Reddit

Money & Banking

OPINION: Why we need to change how we’re talking about the Oscars slap

On Monday, Hollywood actor Will Smith made international headlines when he stormed the Oscars stage and <a href="https://o60.me/2qZnuq">slapped comedian and presenter Chris Rock</a>. What prompted the outrage? Chris Rock making a joke about Will’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, and her buzzed haircut. As Chris took to the stage to present the Best Documentary award, he bantered with the crowd saying, "Jada, I love you. GI Jane 2 — can't wait to see it, alright." It was then that Will stormed the stage and slapped Chris Rock, before returning to his seat and bellowing, “Keep my wife's name out of your f***ing mouth." In true Hollywood fashion, the moment was swiftly moved on from, with no immediate ramifications for the actor. Not an hour later, Will Smith went on to win the award for Best Lead Actor, where in his tearful speech, he attempted to condone his own actions as being driven by protection. "In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world," he said. "I'm being called on in my life to love people and to protect people ... and to be a river to my people." As he went on to apologise to the Academy and his fellow nominees for his outburst, he noticeably failed to apologise to Chris Rock (a matter which he has since <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/an-embarrassment-ben-fordham-weighs-in-on-will-smith-drama">recifited in an Instagram statement</a>). His emotional speech earned him a standing ovation from Hollywood’s biggest stars in LA’s Dolby Theatre, as he went on to say, “Love will make you do crazy things.” Following the incident, online spaces were justifiably dominated by discussions about who was in the right, and if you were team Chris or team Will. This kind of discourse has since led to conversations about violence and ableism, which rightfully turns the incident into something far more serious. The question of whether or not you disagree with Chris Rock’s joke is completely irrelevant when looking at the bigger picture. What we saw at that event was a now Oscar-winning actor being given a standing ovation after he took to a global stage that was being broadcast to millions of people – after he assaulted someone. Will Smith walked on that stage and assaulted Chris Rock, while no one did anything. In a room full of the Hollywood elite, no one had the guts to stand up and condemn his actions, regardless of whether he was destined to win a later award or not. The event was brushed over while everyone in the room fell quiet and decided to ignore what they had just witnessed, much like other instances of violence in Hollywood. People often wonder how sexual abuse at the hands of people like Harvey Weinstein went unnoticed, or ignored, for so many years before the spark of the #MeToo movement in 2006. The abuse that we witnessed at the Oscars is the foundation of that very movement. And while, yes, systemic sexual abuse is different to Will Smith’s actions, covering up any kind of abuse is all the same. Being complacent and choosing not to stand up for what is right is how abusers are permitted to continue their dangerous patterns. In Will’s speech, he said, “Love will make you do crazy things.” This kind of speech and justification is the exact same kind of rhetoric that victims hear at the hands of domestic abusers. He flouted his actions as those of a “protector of his family”, which is another rationalisation of abuse that should not be accepted. There were a thousand other ways this situation could’ve been handled without it escalating to violence. Will could’ve found Chris at the after party and explained to him why his joke wasn’t cool, or he could’ve clapped back at him on stage with an even more brutal roast, or he could’ve done literally anything other than what he did. Whether he was annoyed at the joke or not, assaulting someone who was just up there to do his job is not how you handle a situation, regardless of if you felt you were “defending” someone’s honour. The joke in question has left a lot of people divided, with many jumping to Will and Jada’s defence. As the joke in question targeted her shaved head (a result of her alopecia diagnosis), it’s worth taking a look at the history of bald jokes and the blatant double standard in the scenario. For decades, slapstick comedy has relied on making a bald joke to get a quick laugh. Nine times out of ten, these jokes are at the expense of men. The most notable example comes from Will Smith’s own show The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, which constantly relied on the character of Uncle Phil, a heavy set balding black man, to be the butt of all jokes (and there were a LOT of them). So for Will Smith to have his most famous character constantly be telling bald jokes with no ramifications is just plain hypocrisy. And if bald jokes are okay to make for men, then they are not off limits for women either, because you have to be consistent in your prejudices. Regardless of the joke, or the aftermath, or the apologies, or the sappy speeches, we cannot deny that what we all witnessed on the Oscars stage was completely unacceptable. And the fact that the room full of influential people chose to do nothing only further perpetuates the fact that rules are different for the rich and famous. The fact that Will Smith just sat back in his chair after assaulting a man on live international television only cements the fact that if you have enough money, fame and power, you can seemingly get away with just about anything. Image credits: Getty Images

Mind

David Byrne believes Spotify is making musicians “uncomfortable”

David Byrne has spoken out against Spotify, saying the platform is making artists feel “uncomfortable”. The former Talking Heads performer, who removed most of his music catalogue from the streaming service in 2013, claims the publishing of “questionable or controversial content” and “misinformation” is making musicians look for other ways to showcase their music. He said, "There’s been all these things about platforms having … let’s say questionable or controversial content [and] putting out misinformation or outright lies or … not exactly hate speech, but things that are making a lot of artists uncomfortable.” “And it’s pretty tough to do anything to help ameliorate that unless you’re a Drake or Taylor Swift, or those kinds of artists. It’s pretty hard for the rest of us to have influence." He told The Guardian newspaper, "A handful of mega, mega artists are doing really well, and many of the others – especially emerging artists – are having a tough time with it. There was definitely a period where I thought, ‘Oh, this is going to be tough for a lot of artists’, especially with Spotify’s ‘freemium’ layer.” Byrne went on to cite when Taylor Swift withheld one of her albums from Apple Music over their decision to not pay artists, and noted that only a "handful" of stars are "doing really well" out of putting the music on Spotify, which is thought to pay artists an average of $0.004 per stream. He said, “I watched as Taylor Swift went to Apple and said, ‘You can’t do this; you can’t have a freemium layer that will last forever.’ And she – I mean, bless her heart – she managed to get them to [change their policy]. Which I think was brave for her and good for a lot of the rest of us." Byrne’s comments come after several artists, including Neil Young and Joni Mitchell, decided to pull their music from Spotify due to the platform continuing to post controversial material from podcaster Joe Rogan. Image credits: Getty Images

Music

Ash Barty talks wedding plans for 2022

Ash Barty reveals she hopes to get married to her longtime partner Garry Kissick sometime this year.After claiming the Australian Open title in dominant fashion last month, the 25-year-old has been enjoying casual celebrations and family time in Queensland as she comes to terms with the victory.Barty has enjoyed an incredible start to 2022, with her year set to get even better, opening up about her plans to get married. The young tennis star became engaged to Kissick late last year, with the loved-up couple sharing heart-warming photos on social media.<blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF;border: 0;border-radius: 3px;margin: 1px;max-width: 540px;min-width: 326px;padding: 0;width: calc(100% - 2px)" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CWnDVdFBDJ_/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"><div style="padding: 16px"><div style="flex-direction: row;align-items: center"><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 50%;flex-grow: 0;height: 40px;margin-right: 14px;width: 40px"> </div><div style="flex-direction: column;flex-grow: 1;justify-content: center"><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 4px;flex-grow: 0;height: 14px;margin-bottom: 6px;width: 100px"> </div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 4px;flex-grow: 0;height: 14px;width: 60px"> </div></div></div><div style="padding: 19% 0"> </div><div style="height: 50px;margin: 0 auto 12px;width: 50px"> </div><div style="padding-top: 8px"><div style="color: #3897f0;font-family: Arial,sans-serif;font-size: 14px;font-style: normal;font-weight: 550;line-height: 18px">View this post on Instagram</div></div><div style="padding: 12.5% 0"> </div><div style="flex-direction: row;margin-bottom: 14px;align-items: center"><div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 50%;height: 12.5px;width: 12.5px"> </div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;height: 12.5px;width: 12.5px;flex-grow: 0;margin-right: 14px;margin-left: 2px"> </div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 50%;height: 12.5px;width: 12.5px"> </div></div><div style="margin-left: 8px"><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 50%;flex-grow: 0;height: 20px;width: 20px"> </div><div style="width: 0;height: 0;border-top: 2px solid transparent;border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4;border-bottom: 2px solid transparent"> </div></div><div style="margin-left: auto"><div style="width: 0px;border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4;border-right: 8px solid transparent"> </div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;flex-grow: 0;height: 12px;width: 16px"> </div><div style="width: 0;height: 0;border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4;border-left: 8px solid transparent"> </div></div></div><div style="flex-direction: column;flex-grow: 1;justify-content: center;margin-bottom: 24px"><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 4px;flex-grow: 0;height: 14px;margin-bottom: 6px;width: 224px"> </div><div style="background-color: #f4f4f4;border-radius: 4px;flex-grow: 0;height: 14px;width: 144px"> </div></div><a style="color: #c9c8cd;font-family: Arial,sans-serif;font-size: 14px;font-style: normal;font-weight: normal;line-height: 17px;text-decoration: none" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CWnDVdFBDJ_/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Ash Barty (@ashbarty)</a></div></blockquote>Barty later revealed the engagement was very low-key and she said her wedding will be just the same. “Hopefully it will be this year,’’ she told the Courier Mail of a potential wedding date.“It will be very low-key, very small, pretty chill, for Garry and I just the people we love the most, people who have been impactful and important in our lives. My nieces and nephews will be front and centre, I wouldn’t live it down if they weren’t, they will be dress shopping before I will be.’’

Relationships

Who was the most talked about royal in 2021?

The royal with the most influence <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.msn.com/en-au/entertainment/news/the-most-influential-royal-revealed/ar-AARmRXo?li=BBF1w9o" target="_blank">has been named</a> for 2021 - but it isn’t the Queen. Instead, Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has beaten Her Majesty for the top spot after appearing in more internet searches, media mentions, and Instagram hashtags than any other royal in the world. Queen Elizabeth II came in second place, followed by Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Hashtags, monthly searches, and article mentions of the Duchess of Sussex totalled a whopping 8.6 million, exactly double the Queen’s 4.3 million mentions. With the year Meghan has had, her huge presence and influence comes as no surprise. She started off the year by announcing her second pregnancy with Harry in February, followed by their bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey in March, and by giving birth to Lilibet in June. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CMLKlZ6HSrW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CMLKlZ6HSrW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Archewell by Harry and Meghan (@archewell_hm)</a> </div> </blockquote> In August, she <a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/meghan-markle-s-amazing-40th-birthday-message" target="_blank">celebrated her 40th birthday</a> with a comedic video starring Melissa McCarthy, before appearing at a series of events in New York with Harry. Meghan has rounded out the year by appearing on the Ellen DeGeneres Show in November, and advocating for paid parental leave in the US. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CWbYIz9gqjB/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CWbYIz9gqjB/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Archewell by Harry and Meghan (@archewell_hm)</a> </div> </blockquote> But, new reports in October found that much of the negative attention Harry and Meghan have received online has come from real people, rather than fake bot accounts. The couple have spoken several times about the “crisis” of online trolling, and Harry has called out the <a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.co.nz/entertainment/technology/prince-harry-says-megxit-is-a-misogynistic-term" target="_blank">use of “Megxit”</a> to describe their departure from royal life. As for the rest of the “most influential” list, put together by <a rel="noopener" href="https://74n5c4m7.r.eu-west-1.awstrack.me/L0/https:%2F%2Fdesignbundles.net%2F/1/0102017d78a91619-86be1439-8db8-45ce-a26f-399e2af565db-000000/anKcZee-rzPjJEx-IDhTL96aWVg=247" target="_blank">Design Bundles</a>, there were some surprising inclusions. Princess Diana came in fifth place, after her son Harry, as this year marked what would have been her 60th birthday. The Queen’s late sister, Princess Margaret, also appeared on the list in seventh place, due to her depiction in the series The Crown. Image: Getty Images

Beauty & Style

The ocean is essential to tackling climate change. So why has it been neglected in global climate talks?

Climate change is commonly discussed as though it’s a uniquely atmospheric phenomena. But the crisis is deeply entwined with the ocean, and this has largely been neglected in international climate talks. The latest international climate negotiations made some progress by, for the first time, <a href="https://www.becausetheocean.org/the-ocean-anchored-in-glasgow-climate-pact/">anchoring oceans</a> permanently into the multilateral climate change regime. But the <a href="https://unfccc.int/process-and-meetings/conferences/glasgow-climate-change-conference-october-november-2021/outcomes-of-the-glasgow-climate-change-conference">Glasgow Climate Pact</a> is still leagues from where it needs to be to adequately reflect the importance of oceans to our climate system. Most countries have targets for land-based emissions – but there are no such targets for oceans. Yet the ocean plays a vital role in helping balance the conditions humans and most other species need to survive, while also offering a substantial part of the solution to stop the planet warming over the crucial limit of 1.5℃ this century. So how can oceans help us tackle the climate crisis? And what progress has been made in international negotiations? <h2>The ocean’s incredible potential</h2> Since industrialisation, the ocean has absorbed <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/assessment-report/ar5/">93% of human-generated heat</a> and <a href="https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aau5153">one-third of anthropogenic carbon dioxide</a> (CO₂). The consequences of this are profound, including the thermal expansion of water (the key cause of sea level rise), ocean acidification, <a href="https://www.iucn.org/theme/marine-and-polar/our-work/climate-change-and-oceans/ocean-deoxygenation">deoxygenation</a> (oxygen loss), and forcing marine life to redistribute to other places. Alarmingly, this may one day lead the ocean to reverse its role as a carbon sink and release CO₂ <a href="https://unesdoc.unesco.org/ark:/48223/pf0000376708">back into the atmosphere</a>, as its absorption ability declines. Equally important is ocean-based climate mitigation, which could provide <a href="https://www.wri.org/insights/turning-tide-ocean-based-solutions-could-close-emission-gap-21">more than 20% of the emissions reductions</a> needed for the 1.5℃ goal. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432511/original/file-20211117-25-34h4c8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432511/original/file-20211117-25-34h4c8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Cargo ships" /></a> The shipping industry is responsible for about 3% of global emissions. Andy Li/Unsplash, <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" class="license">CC BY</a> Crucially, we must see changes to maritime industries. The shipping industry alone has a similar carbon footprint to Germany – if shipping were a country it would be the world’s sixth-largest emitter. Although high on the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-shipping-sector-is-finally-on-board-in-the-fight-against-climate-change-95212">International Maritime Organisation’s agenda</a>, the <a href="https://theconversation.com/to-reach-net-zero-we-must-decarbonise-shipping-but-two-big-problems-are-getting-in-the-way-170464">decarbonisation of shipping</a> still lacks <a href="https://www.maritime-executive.com/article/let-s-be-honest-un-secretary-general-slams-imo-s-progress-on-co2">adequate targets or processes</a>. Oceans can also provide climate-safe, sustainable food choices. Current food systems, such as emissions-intensive agriculture, fishing, and processed foods are responsible for <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s43016-021-00225-9">one-third of global emissions</a>. Considerable environmental (and health) benefits can be gained by shifting our diets to sustainable “<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-fish-can-still-be-part-of-a-more-sustainable-food-future-167944">blue foods</a>”. These include seafoods sourced from fisheries with sustainable management practices, such as avoiding overfishing and reducing carbon emissions. Markets and technologies should also be geared towards the large-scale production and consumption of aquatic plants such as seagrasses. There’s also a wealth of opportunity in “blue carbon” – capturing CO₂ in the atmosphere by conserving and restoring marine ecosystems such as mangroves, seagrasses and salt marshes. However, the success of nature-based solutions depends on a healthy ocean ecosystem. For example, there are emerging concerns around the impact of <a href="https://theconversation.com/oil-companies-are-ploughing-money-into-fossil-fuelled-plastics-production-at-a-record-rate-new-research-169690">plastic pollution</a> on plankton’s ability to absorb CO₂. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432512/original/file-20211117-21-1lqaa5q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/432512/original/file-20211117-21-1lqaa5q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /></a> Conserving mangroves is an important way to sequester carbon from the atmosphere. Shutterstock But perhaps the greatest impact would come from adopting offshore renewable energy. This has the potential to offer <a href="https://www.oceanpanel.org/climate">one-tenth of the emissions reductions we need to reach the 1.5℃ goal</a>. The International Energy Agency has estimated offshore wind could <a href="https://www.iea.org/reports/offshore-wind-outlook-2019">power the world 18 times over its current consumption rate</a>. <h2>Climate talks are making slow progress</h2> For more than a decade, the inclusion of oceans in climate talks has been piecemeal and inconsistent. Where they have been part of negotiations, including at COP26, talk has focused on the potential for coastal areas to adapt to climate change impacts such as sea-level rise, as first raised in international fora <a href="http://www.islandvulnerability.org/slr1989/declaration.pdf">in 1989</a> by small island states. The final COP26 agreement, known as the <a href="https://unfccc.int/process-and-meetings/conferences/glasgow-climate-change-conference-october-november-2021/outcomes-of-the-glasgow-climate-change-conference">Glasgow Climate Pact</a>, made slight progress. The pact recognised the importance of ensuring the <a href="https://unfccc.int/sites/default/files/resource/cma3_auv_2_cover%20decision.pdf">ocean ecosystem’s integrity</a>. It established the “the Ocean and Climate Change Dialogue” as an annual process to strengthen ocean-based action. And <a href="https://unfccc.int/sites/default/files/resource/cop26_auv_2f_cover_decision.pdf">it invited</a> UNFCCC bodies to consider how to “integrate and strengthen ocean-based action into existing mandates and workplans” and report back. While these are positive measures, at this stage they don’t require action by parties. Therefore, they’re only a theoretical inclusion, not action-oriented. We still lack national targets and clear, mandatory international requirements for countries to consider sinks, sources and activities beyond the shoreline in their climate planning and reporting. Where COP26 did progress was its focus on whether ocean impacts and mitigation will finally be brought into the mainstream climate agenda. For the first time in five years, a new <a href="https://www.becausetheocean.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Final-Draft-BtO3_31_Oct_2021.pdf">“Because the Ocean” declaration</a> was released, which calls for the systematic inclusion of the oceans in the UNFCCC and Paris Agreement process. <h2>What do we do now?</h2> What’s now needed is a list of mandated requirements that ensure countries report on and take responsibility for climate impacts within their maritime territories. But as COP26 president Alok Sharma said of the summit as a whole, it was a “fragile win”. We still lack any reference to consistency with existing mechanisms, such as the <a href="https://www.un.org/depts/los/index.htm">law of the sea convention</a> or how funding will be allocated specifically to oceans. As such, the actual impact of COP26 on the inclusion of oceans in climate action remains uncertain. It will depend on how the UNFCCC bodies respond to these directives, and their success in extending obligations to state parties. Responding to the climate crisis means we need to stop pretending the ocean and atmosphere are separate. We must start including ocean action as a routine part of climate action. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dr-sali-bache-1286674">Dr Sali Bache</a>, Strategic Advisor in International Policy and Oceans , <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/climateworks-australia-984">ClimateWorks Australia</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-ocean-is-essential-to-tackling-climate-change-so-why-has-it-been-neglected-in-global-climate-talks-171309">original article</a>. Image: Silas Baisch/Unsplash

Domestic Travel

EXCLUSIVE: Claudine Ryan talks hormones, PMS and the brain

If you have ever had your feelings of anger dismissed because you are dealing with fluctuations in hormones - whether that’s around your period, pregnancy-related or due to menopause - you’re not the only one. While the vast majority of women experience these dips and peaks in hormones without many severe symptoms, the dismissal of symptoms as a side effect of hormones can have severe consequences. Between 2009 and 2018, suicide was the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/09/the-chemical-question-does-focusing-on-hormones-undermine-mental-healthcare" target="_blank">third-highest cause</a> of mortality among women who had recently given birth. For women entering menopause, the incidence of depression <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/menopause-and-mental-health" target="_blank">doubles</a>, and those who have experienced mental illness in the past may see their symptoms return. Claudine Ryan is one half of the duo behind the popular podcast Ladies, We Need To Talk, alongside host and co-creator Yumi Stynes. Claudine spoke to OverSixty about the pair’s latest book - named after their podcast - which tackles the thorniest of issues relating to women’s health, biology, and sex lives. In particular, she shared her thoughts on the overlap between hormones, PMS. and mental health, as well as advice for those navigating these issues with friends and family. O60: Throughout Ladies, We Need to Talk there’s a core message of opening up conversations on ‘taboo’ topics to improve awareness and help women feel less alone. Do you have particular hopes about how the awareness of and conversations around mental health and hormones will change? When it comes to our hormones and mental health, every woman is different. For reasons that aren't totally understood, some of us can really feel the impact of changing levels of certain hormones at certain times during our cycles or at certain times in our lives. So some of us experience really severe hormonal symptoms (severe insomnia, trouble concentrating, depression and even suicidal thoughts), while others find their hormones have no noticeable impact on their mood. [My] version of PMS looks different to Yumi's. But when we share our stories with each other we can start to see that there is a range of different women's experiences and this can help us to place our own somewhere on this spectrum. One hope is that these conversations foster a rich and diverse community of people who understand each other so that fewer of us feel alone or isolated, and also so we have a better understanding of what this spectrum of normal is. Another hope is that these conversations give women courage to speak out and ask for help when something does seem right for them. We have heard so many stories of women's symptoms being dismissed, or them being what they are living with is in their head. Understanding how your experience fits in with others can help you to know that what is happening for you is real and that if someone isn't listening to you, then you need to find someone who will. O60: In chapter six you both talked about anger and how it surfaces around the same time as other PMS symptoms, how do you feel about the association between anger and other ‘uglier’ emotions with being hormonal? It is very infuriating to have your feelings or frustrations dismissed as being purely hormonal. But it is also very helpful to understand that there might be certain times when your mood might be really low or you might be more inclined to feel frustrated by pee on the toilet seat or a sink full of dishes. For some women, just understanding how their hormones may affect their mood is all they need. But for others, knowing their hormones are making them miserable is the first step in figuring out what their options are to get some relief. It's important to acknowledge, as is the case with many many women's health issues, there needs to be more research for us to better understand the relationship between our hormones and our moods. O60: Do you have any advice for other women struggling with family/friends/partners/colleagues/strangers commenting on their mental health and being hormonal or dealing with PMS? You could swear at the person, and that is a legitimate response. You could explain to them these conditions are recognised by leading women's health experts and that for those who experience symptoms on the more severe end there are treatment options available. You could take the approach of women's health psychologist Professor Jane Ussher, who's spent decades researching PMS. Over the years many women have told her that when they are on holidays or away from the usual stress and pressures of their lives that they are much less likely to have PMS. But when life is as normal, all the crap they normally put up with just becomes too much. Women tell her that it's their real feelings that are coming out when they get PMS. So for three weeks of a month they can play nice and bottle it all up, but then at that point in their cycle they don't have the energy to keep up this front. These women often then ask those around them to help out a bit more so they don't get so worn out and frustrated. <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.hardiegrant.com/au/publishing/bookfinder/book/ladies_-we-need-to-talk-by-yumi-stynes/9781743797518" target="_blank">Ladies, We Need To Talk</a>, published by Hardie Grant, is now available to purchase. Image: Supplied

Mind

We need to talk about women and concussion

<div> <div class="copy"> Every year, around <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.braininjuryaustralia.org.au/brain-injury-australia-completes-study-on-post-concussion-syndrome-mild-traumatic-brain-injury/" target="_blank">3000 Australians</a> are hospitalised from a sports-related concussion – and most won’t even know it. But while the rules surrounding concussion management are informed by science, there is a huge gap in knowledge regarding its causes – especially among women. <h2>Where do the rules come from?</h2> Despite many claims that concussion management rules are arbitrary, they are actually dictated by an <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.chiro.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Consensus-Statement-on-Concussion-in-Sport-the-5th-international-conference-on-concussion-in-sport-Berlin-2016.pdf" target="_blank">international consensus statement</a>. Every four years, a group of experts -called the Concussion in Sport Group – meets to update the consensus statement with new research. This is later translated back to clubs to implement. “[The group is] from all over the world. They’re usually doctors, psychologists or physios who’ve been studying this area for a long period of time,” says Shreya McLeod of the University of Newcastle. The group were due to meet in 2020, but the conference is <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.concussionconference.org/" target="_blank">postponed until 2022</a> because of the pandemic. <h2>We know a lot of the aftermath, but not as much about the cause</h2> When it comes to concussions research, four years is a long time. New technologies are continuously bringing in new information. Sometimes, this is why new club rules are added even though the consensus hasn’t been updated. “The space is changing rapidly. So, five years ago, people were advised complete physical and cognitive rest after concussions. It was quite often that people were prescribed a week’s rest cognitive and physical rest,” McLeod says. “However, we now know that 24 to 48 hours is all we need to rest for true cognitive rest. In fact, [some] submaximal aerobic exercise is important in recovery. I guess part of it is the changing research space”. And recovery research isn’t the only type of research conducted. Knowing why and how injuries are sustained is as, if not more, important than clinical rehabilitation. Again, this is necessary to inform how training and play can be made safer to prevent injuries in the first place. Read more: <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/body-and-mind/concussion-what-happens-and-what-are-its-effects/" target="_blank">Cosmos Q&A: Concussion</a> But here is the catch – there isn’t much data about how injuries are sustained because most of the data comes from after a concussion occurs. Data from before play is necessary to identify fine biological changes. After all, not every concussion is even recognised. “The gold standard is to look at preseason and postseason imaging data sets, particularly with very advanced techniques like diffusion tensor imaging,” says Alan Pearce of La Trobe University. “Using these techniques In the United States, they’ve shown that, without any [diagnosed] concussions, there are [still] changes in white matter, which is a little bit scary.” Right now, the knowledge basis is skewed towards concussion after it has happened, so the minute factors that induce a concussion are still unclear. Beyond this, concussion is highly individual. Proper management techniques cannot be employed until we understand all players – and that includes women. <h2>Women and concussion</h2> Another gap in concussion research is how it affects different people. This is because most research has focused on professional male athletes. In science, the average person is traditionally a Caucasian male because that is who previous studies have focused on. So, what about women? Are they affected differently? “I am very interested in this space because, as a physio, I have enjoyed working with female athletes,” explains McLeod. “They are mentally and physiologically different from men.” “We know that there is definitely a hormonal component with other musculoskeletal injuries, such as knee injuries. “For example, we see a lot of ACL [injuries] that happen around a certain phase of the menstrual cycle, so it’s intuitive [to] think concussion would also follow in a similar pathway. “But, of course, that needs further investigation”. This translates to, potentially, more severe or long-lasting concussions in women because of hormonal or biological differences. Read more: <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/medicine/blood-test-makes-for-fast-safer-concussion-diagnosis/" target="_blank">A safer and faster concussion diagnosis</a> “With the very limited evidence, women seem to have higher, more severe symptoms and take longer to recover than men – with the caveat that I don’t think that men are honest enough,” says Pearce. “But it’s a really good question because we don’t know [whether women are more susceptible] at this stage. All we know is the aftermath of the concussion.” This bias means women were excluded from studies but still subjected to the same types of concussion management men used. “I think from our end, there is a gap between the consensus and the amount of research and data coming in,” explains McLeod. “It’s only just now that we’re all doing a lot more work in this space.” Bias even leaks into diagnostics because covert signs of concussion in men are used as a standard for all athletes. “We actually don’t have any of that [type of] data for women at all,” says McLeod. “We have nothing for the female space. Everything we’ve been looking at has been carried over from the male space to the female space – a one shoe fits the more kind of thing.” <h2>If women are so severely affected, then why play at all?</h2> This is the wrong question, McLeod says. Women may be impacted in ways men aren’t because the management practices are geared towards men. What’s needed, she says, is more information about women and concussions to build better frameworks. “I think part of it is education, and part of it is working on a structure for females,” says McLeod. “We don’t actually know whether women tackle differently. We don’t actually know whether breast tissue is involved in the way we tackle.” This all gets back to the question of how concussions are sustained and what factors contribute to them. Instead, the solutions require team concussion management to reflect women-specific data, especially when it comes to techniques to safeguard the brain. “The thing to do is figure out whether we can make the games safer,” says McLeod. “[We could do this by] looking at tackle characteristics. Is there a big difference between males and females and the way we tackle?” Not only this, but young girls are less likely than boys to have played other forms of amateur or casual sports where tackling and fall techniques are taught. “These girls who started playing collision sports come from a non-collision sport background. They’ve never had that opportunity [to learn how to tackle]. “We need to start them learning to tackle and roll.” Ultimately, when it comes to managing concussions in athletes, we can’t forget about our girls. Image credit: Shutterstock This article was originally published on <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/we-need-to-know-more-about-women-and-concussion/" target="_blank">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Deborah Devis. </div> </div>

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