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Would you be happy as a long-term single? The answer may depend on your attachment style

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Are all single people insecure? When we think about people who have been single for a long time, we may assume it’s because single people have insecurities that make it difficult for them to find a partner or maintain a relationship.</p> <p>But is this true? Or can long-term single people also be secure and thriving?</p> <p>Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jopy.12929">latest research</a> published in the Journal of Personality suggests they can. However, perhaps unsurprisingly, not everybody tends to thrive in singlehood. Our study shows a crucial factor may be a person’s attachment style.</p> <h2>Singlehood is on the rise</h2> <p>Singlehood is on the rise around the world. In Canada, single status among young adults aged 25 to 29 has increased from <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713b-eng.htm">32% in 1981 to 61% in 2021</a>. The number of people <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/220713/dq220713a-eng.htm">living solo</a> has increased from 1.7 million people in 1981 to 4.4 million in 2021.</p> <p>People are single for many reasons: <a href="https://www.ucpress.edu/ebook/9780520971004/happy-singlehood">some choose</a> to remain single, some are focusing on <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12147-020-09249-0">personal goals and aspirations</a>, some report <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/">dating has become harder</a>, and some become single again due to a relationship breakdown.</p> <p>People may also remain single due to their attachment style. Attachment theory is a popular and well-researched model of how we form relationships with other people. An <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/s?k=attachment+theory">Amazon search for attachment theory</a> returns thousands of titles. The hashtag #attachmenttheory has been viewed <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/08/20/why-attachment-theory-is-trending-according-to-dr-amir-levine.html">over 140 million times</a> on TikTok alone.</p> <h2>What does attachment theory say about relationships?</h2> <p>Attachment theory suggests our relationships with others are shaped by our degree of “anxiety” and “avoidance”.</p> <p>Attachment anxiety is a type of insecurity that leads people to feel anxious about relationships and worry about abandonment. Attachment avoidance leads people to feel uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness.</p> <p>People who are lower in attachment anxiety and avoidance are considered “securely attached”, and are comfortable depending on others, and giving and receiving intimacy.</p> <p>Single people are often stereotyped as being <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/01461672231203123">too clingy or non-committal</a>. Research comparing single and coupled people also suggests single people have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2012.00793.x?casa_token=6iiCm5PjHgkAAAAA:0kBeofx3M-72YrkVppmNxdWBIAImFwm3lAakCnuiNXL20SVP1zaW7UeDIahW_43imAjSRXgtyN0hLVI">higher levels of attachment insecurities</a> compared to people in relationships.</p> <p>At the same time, evidence suggests many single people are choosing to remain single and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/17456916221136119">living happy lives</a>.</p> <h2>Single people represent a diverse group of secure and insecure people</h2> <p>In our latest research, our team of social and clinical psychologists examined single people’s attachment styles and how they related to their happiness and wellbeing.</p> <p>We carried out two studies, one of 482 younger single people and the other of 400 older long-term singles. We found overall 78% were categorised as insecure, with the other 22% being secure.</p> <p>Looking at our results more closely, we found four distinct subgroups of singles:</p> <ul> <li> <p>secure singles are relatively comfortable with intimacy and closeness in relationships (22%)</p> </li> <li> <p>anxious singles question whether they are loved by others and worry about being rejected (37%)</p> </li> <li> <p>avoidant singles are uncomfortable getting close to others and prioritise their independence (23% of younger singles and 11% of older long-term singles)</p> </li> <li> <p>fearful singles have heightened anxiety about abandonment, but are simultaneously uncomfortable with intimacy and closeness (16% of younger singles and 28% of older long-term singles).</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Insecure singles find singlehood challenging, but secure singles are thriving</h2> <p>Our findings also revealed these distinct subgroups of singles have distinct experiences and outcomes.</p> <p>Secure singles are happy being single, have a greater number of non-romantic relationships, and better relationships with family and friends. They meet their sexual needs outside romantic relationships and feel happier with their life overall. Interestingly, this group maintains moderate interest in being in a romantic relationship in the future.</p> <p>Anxious singles tend to be the most worried about being single, have lower self-esteem, feel less supported by close others and have some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <p>Avoidant singles show the least interest in being in a romantic relationship and in many ways appear satisfied with singlehood. However, they also have fewer friends and close relationships, and are generally less satisfied with these relationships than secure singles. Avoidant singles also report less meaning in life and tend to be less happy compared to secure singles.</p> <p>Fearful singles reported more difficulties navigating close relationships than secure singles. For instance, they were less able to regulate their emotions, and were less satisfied with the quality of their close relationships relative to secure singles. They also reported some of the lowest levels of life satisfaction across all sub-groups.</p> <h2>It’s not all doom and gloom</h2> <p>These findings should be considered alongside several relevant points. First, although most singles in our samples were insecure (78%), a sizeable number were secure and thriving (22%).</p> <p>Further, simply being in a romantic relationship is not a panacea. Being in an unhappy relationship is linked to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316">poorer life outcomes</a> than being single.</p> <p>It is also important to remember that attachment orientations are not necessarily fixed. They are open to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300113">change</a> in response to life events.</p> <p>Similarly, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963721413510933">sensitive and responsive behaviours</a> from close others and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075231162390">feeling loved and cared about</a> by close others can soothe underlying attachment concerns and foster attachment security over time.</p> <p>Our studies are some of the first to examine the diversity in attachment styles among single adults. Our findings highlight that many single people are secure and thriving, but also that more work can be done to help insecure single people feel more secure in order to foster happiness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/227595/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-pepping-1524533">Christopher Pepping</a>, Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/geoff-macdonald-1527971">Geoff Macdonald</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-toronto-1281">University of Toronto</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tim-cronin-415060">Tim Cronin</a>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yuthika-girme-1494822">Yuthika Girme</a>, Associate Professor, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-be-happy-as-a-long-term-single-the-answer-may-depend-on-your-attachment-style-227595">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Here’s why you need to go for a walk every single day

<p><strong>The benefits of walking every day </strong></p> <p>Twenty summers ago, Nancy Duguay stood at the side of a soccer pitch in watching her 11-year-old son sprint back and forth, and wished she had a cigarette.</p> <p>Duguay, then 39 and a cardiac-rehab nurse, was trying to quit smoking after having the habit for more than half her life. She’d sneaked her first cigarettes from her parents’ packs as a teen and hadn’t stopped since. With her hands empty as she waited for her son’s practice to end, the urge for a puff gnawed at her.</p> <p>Behind the field, the heavily forested Sugarloaf Mountain stood guard. As a kid, Duguay and her friends regularly hiked the mountain and picnicked on its peak.</p> <p>Then an idea struck her: walking instead of smoking. She told another parent that she would be back in time to pick up her son and then set off for the mountain. “In just my regular sneakers, a pair of shorts and a T-shirt,” she remembers.</p> <p>Duguay’s heart pounded as she climbed, and she stopped often to rest. When she arrived at the top, she took in the view that sweeps over the city and across the river to the rolling hills of the Gaspé Peninsula.</p> <p>“I just felt so good,” says Duguay. “My natural endorphins kicked in, and the craving was gone.”</p> <p>Almost every day since, she has gone for a walk – and the habit has changed her life. Not only did she quit smoking, but her resting heart rate dropped from 80 beats per minute to 60. The ritual has given her a lot more, as well: stress relief, mental-health management, and a sense of community.</p> <p>“There’s a psychological and physical need to do it now,” she says. “I want to keep healthy and keep moving.” Keep reading to discover more incredible health benefits of walking every day.</p> <p><strong>It's good for your body</strong></p> <p>A growing body of research confirms what Duguay discovered: there are enormous benefits in walking every day. According to a report from the Canadian Academy of Sport and Exercise Medicine, walking for 150 minutes a week can reduce the risk of most major chronic diseases by 25 to 50 per cent. In fact, light to moderate exercise has been found to be more effective than medication during rehabilitation after a stroke. For prevention of diabetes and as a secondary treatment of heart disease, walking is equally as effective as taking drugs.</p> <p>In 2019, a Journal of Clinical Oncology study reported that a small amount of physical activity – such as taking a brisk walk for 20 minutes or more a day – is linked to a lower risk of seven types of cancer. Meanwhile, more walking means better sleep, too. In a recent study of middle-aged men and women, the participants who took more steps during the day slept better at night.</p> <p>“We need to start thinking about walking as a healthy activity,” advises Dr Jane Thornton, a family physician in London, Ontario. She advocates for the idea that we consider physical activity as medicine – a philosophy that grew out of personal experience. Thornton was a shy, sedentary 14-year-old when she signed up for a beginner’s rowing class in Fredericton. While her physical fitness improved, a new social circle opened to her and her grades went up. Thornton went on to become a world-champion rower and represented Canada at the 2008 Olympics.</p> <p>A few years after competing in the Olympics and shortly before retiring from sport, she enrolled in medical school. She was surprised by the lack of information provided to physicians-in-training about the benefits of exercise. “For whatever reason, there just wasn’t any content at all on physical activity,” she says.</p> <p>In 2014, Thornton started working on a campaign with the Canadian Academy of Sport and Exercise Medicine to get doctors to prescribe physical activity for patients – including walking. “I don’t think it’s a panacea for everybody, but it is one of the easiest, best solutions we have at our disposal,” she says.</p> <p>One significant reason that walking is so good for us is fairly straightforward: when we move, our hearts work harder to transport blood to the working muscles and organs. That repeated effort strengthens the heart muscle, making it pump more efficiently at all times, sending blood around the body with fewer beats per minute. Exercise also improves the function of blood vessels, with one analysis reporting that aerobic exercise can improve our vascular health.</p> <p>Walking helps build other muscles, too, especially in the lower body, and improves balance and strength. Physiotherapists like to say “Motion is lotion.” When our bodies don’t move enough, they stiffen. Ligaments, tendons and muscles tighten when they’re not used, causing pain in joints. For back pain, especially, movement can help. When we walk, we activate the muscles that run along the spine, strengthening them. “Pain and function improve just by putting those muscles into play,” Thornton says.</p> <p>Hospitals have also begun to embrace the value of walking. At Mount Sinai in Toronto, older patients weren’t always encouraged to get up from bed because of the risk of falling. About ten years ago, that changed. Assisted by doctors, nurses and volunteers, patients are now prompted to walk to the bathroom, explore the hallways and get out of bed to eat their meals.</p> <p>Since that change, fewer patients require catheters and suffer pressure ulcers. On average, they spend less time in the hospital. “Every day that an older person is in bed, they lose five per cent of their physical functioning,” says Dr Samir Sinha, Mount Sinai Hospital’s director of geriatrics. “So getting them up and walking can reduce the chance that grandma might not be able to return home.”</p> <p><strong>It's good for your mental health </strong></p> <p>One of the most important benefits of walking every day is that it’s equally beneficial for our mental health. For Duguay, walking helped her through some of the toughest periods in her life. When her mother died of cancer, Duguay turned to the mountain to walk through her pain. “I would cry all the way up the mountain,” she remembers. In this way, walking became her antidepressant.</p> <p>According to a 2019 study led by researchers at Harvard University, people with a genetic risk for depression are less likely to struggle with the condition if they exercise – even performing light physical activity like walking.</p> <p>Walking also reduces the risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. In 2019, the World Health Organization released new guidelines on dementia prevention, and its top recommendation was to get more exercise.</p> <p>“We’ve always known that exercise is good for your heart, but we’re now making a connection between exercise and cognitive improvements,” said Dr Saskia Sivananthan, chief research &amp; knowledge, translation and exchange officer at the Alzheimer Society of Canada.</p> <p>Although that link isn’t yet fully understood, Sivananthan says there are a number of possible explanations: increased blood flow to the brain increases the organ’s cell growth; physical activity stimulates certain hormones that improve well-being and may reduce brain-matter loss linked to cognitive function; and walking might also reduce inflammation in the brain.</p> <p>Meanwhile, one study from McMaster University has shown that aerobic activity that incorporates intervals of higher-intensity exertion improves memory function. According to Dr Jennifer Heisz, who worked on the research, walking promotes production of a protein, BDNF, that spurs growth of new brain cells. These cells help us create high-fidelity memories – “the type we need every day to locate our car in a busy parking lot and recognise a friend in a crowd,” she said.</p> <p><strong>It's good for your social life</strong></p> <p>Jim Button, a 56-year-old entrepreneur, was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2014. He underwent successful surgery but, less than two years later, he learned that his cancer was back, had spread and was terminal.</p> <p>Button knew that exercise would help keep him as healthy as possible. He started walking five kilometres a day. Before his diagnosis, he’d meet with business contacts and friends at coffee shops. Now he asks them to join him on a walk. Every day over the last three years that his health has allowed, Button has gone for a walk, all the while expanding the range of his walking partners – he regularly strolls with strangers who reach out to him seeking business advice, or people recently diagnosed with cancer and other illnesses.</p> <p>“I’ve discovered that not a lot of people go for walks,” Button says. “And when they do, it opens up their mind to be a bit more honest about whatever challenge they would like to talk about.” On some walks, he says, conversation never slows. On others, little is said but much is shared, even silently.</p> <p>Inspired by Button’s strolls, Dr Lisa Bélanger – founder of Knight’s Cabin, a Canadian charity for cancer survivors and their supporters – helped found an initiative in Calgary called Walk It Out. The program is like other peer support groups, but participants walk outside while they share their experiences with the disease. “More than in a sit-down, face-to-face meeting, walking seems to allow a conversation to flow naturally,” she says.</p> <p>Bélanger, who is an expert in behavioural medicine, adds that walking has the power to undo negative thought patterns. “If you’re thinking about a problem and you go for a walk, the activity in your brain changes, and you learn and think better,” she says.</p> <p>Like Button, Nancy Duguay has corralled her community around her daily walks. The more she walked, the more people around her saw the benefits and started doing it, too. Her husband, Roger, began to accompany her on hikes on their holidays. And about seven years after Duguay’s first walk up a nearby mountain, her sister decided to try it. Now she, too, takes a walk every day, and they often go together. A small community of walkers has formed around them.</p> <p>“We’ll meet people coming down and say, ‘This was a tough one today. It was really slippery, but boy, you know, it’s worth it.’”</p> <p><strong>Put your best food forwards</strong></p> <p>To experience all the benefits of walking every day, treat it like a workout, says personal-fitness trainer Korey Samuelson:</p> <p>Walk with an upright posture, your head held straight, not looking up or down. Keep your gaze about five metres ahead.</p> <p>To move faster, put more bend in your elbows.</p> <p>Swing your arms forwards and back; moving them across the body isn’t efficient. “Just like sprinting, arm movement is important for strong walking,” says Samuelson.</p> <p>When your lead foot lands on the ground, roll from heel to toe. Your footwear should be pliable enough to allow the natural movement across your foot.</p> <p>To speed up, increase your strides per minute rather than elongating your strides. More steps per minute means you’ll travel further, faster.</p> <p>Use Nordic walking poles to increase your heart rate and burn more calories.</p> <p>Intersperse intervals of brisk walking with periods at a slower pace.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/heres-why-you-need-to-go-for-a-walk-every-single-day" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Stranger’s “kind” act for a struggling single mum

<p dir="ltr">A struggling single mother has been moved to tears by a stranger’s random act of kindness while doing her grocery shopping. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mother, hailing from Ipswich in Queensland, was doing her shopping ahead of the school term starting up as she paced the aisles mentally tallying the cost of her groceries to not go over her strict budget. </p> <p dir="ltr">As she continued to add carefully selected items to her trolley, a young girl approached her with a gift. </p> <p dir="ltr">The girl handed her a $50 note saying it was a gift from her mother, in a random act of kindness that left her “shaking and crying”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had the most incredible thing happen to me today. I'm in Woolies Riverlink in Ipswich QLD getting a few things for back to school and I'm adding my shopping up on my calculator and checking the price of EVERYTHING,” the mum wrote in a Facebook post. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Next, a lovely little girl came up to me handing me a $50 and said 'My mummy wants to give you a gift', I said 'Thank you, have the wrong person, honey'.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The young girl assured the woman she was the person her mum wanted to give the $50 to and ran off before she could say anything else.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I looked up at her mum shaking and in tears and she gave me a nod and a thumbs up,” the woman said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She had no idea just how much I needed this right now. Her kindness meant the world to me.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Many applauded the stranger’s generosity as more families are feeling the pressure with sky-rocketing costs of living, with like-minded budgeting mothers sharing how they were touched by the sweet story. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Made me cry this lovely Sunday morning. Always gives hope to know there are some really wonderful people out there,” one person said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some truly wonderful people in the world! You don't have to give someone $50 to make their day - any small kind gesture can change the course of someone's life,” a second agreed.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some absolute angels out there for sure!” said another. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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Cruise passenger left without a single change of clothes in a lost luggage nightmare

<p>When Australian grandmother Cheryl Stuchbery and her husband, John, set sail with Royal Caribbean cruises from Sydney to New Zealand, they thought they were embarking on their dream holiday. </p> <p>But some dreams are destined to turn into nightmares, as Cheryl soon learned, when it was revealed that staff aboard the cruise liner had lost her suitcase. </p> <p>For the next 11 days, Cheryl was left without so much as a change of clothes, forced to wear the same outfit time and time again. John helped as much as he could, offering his own underwear so that his wife wasn’t entirely going without. </p> <p>Speaking to Australia’s <em>A Current Affair</em>, Cheryl admitted that the entire experience had left her “very depressed. I was in tears a lot at the time.”</p> <p>“Cheryl ended up wearing my knickers,” John explained, adding that it only made sense, because his clothes had actually been available.</p> <p>"I've put a pair on, but the only thing is, I couldn't fill out the little pouch in the front," Cheryl added.</p> <p>When the staff were unable to locate her bag on the second day of the trip, they offered to wash her one outfit for her. Every morning, they would drop by, collect her things, and take them off to wash and dry. </p> <p>While this ensured Cheryl had clean clothes to wear each day, it also meant she started them with three hours sitting in her cabin and waiting. </p> <p>“They [would] give Cheryl a t-shirt and a dressing gown,” John explained, “so for the first sort of three hours each day, we're sitting in the room waiting for the clothes to come back.”</p> <p>In the time since, Cheryl has tried to find humour in the whole situation, though she certainly hadn’t even been able to consider it at the time. </p> <p>It wasn’t the first time the couple had set out on a cruise, it was just the first that their belongings hadn’t made it along with them. </p> <p>“They did say it was very unusual for a suitcase not to turn up at all,” Cheryl noted. </p> <p>“For quite a bit of time we felt that it had been stolen because they'd searched the ship," John said. </p> <p>And, in timing that came as no help to the cruising couple, Cheryl’s bag turned up the very day after they’d arrived back in Sydney. </p> <p>To make matters even worse, it had been onboard the whole time.</p> <p>As John put it, “it had been on [the] boat all the time and they say, 'well, that's okay, you've got your case back'.”</p> <p>Royal Caribbean have since issued a statement in apology, writing that they “sincerely apologise for misplacing Mr and Mrs Stuchbery's luggage. During their cruise, Mr and Mrs Stuchbery were provided with complimentary express laundry, an onboard credit to assist with purchasing incidental items, and specialty dining. </p> <p>“The luggage was located on return to Sydney and Mr and Mrs Stuchbery have been offered additional compensation and documentation to support a claim via their travel insurance.”</p> <p>But it hasn’t done anything to help the sour taste of the whole ordeal left in the Stuchbery’s mouths, with Cheryl declaring that she still “feel[s] very angry.” </p> <p><em>Images: A Current Affair / Nine</em></p>

Cruising

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Sam Neill's warning to single women

<p>Actor Sam Neill has issued a warning to women everywhere, cautioning them against a devious "online love scam" that is using his name and photo. </p> <p>The 75-year-old shared the warning to his Instagram followers on Thursday, telling people to be wary of scams that use the promise of romance as a means to rob money from victims in search of companionship. </p> <p>The post, written on behalf of Sam by his assistant, Lauren, said that scammers having been posing as Sam and contacting fans over social media.</p> <p>Lauren explained that this was impossible, as the actor does not have a private account and "does not keep secrets" from his social media team.</p> <p>"Sam has asked me to post on here to share with his followers an idea of the number of fake Sam Neill accounts out there on Instagram," it said.</p> <p>"The ONLY real Sam Neill account is this one - with the blue verified tick," the message continued.</p> <p>Included in the post was a screen grab of Sam's Instagram with a red marker circling the star's account and the message, "Warning".</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CoIsALtyfzw/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CoIsALtyfzw/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by SamNeillTheProp (@samneilltheprop)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"I’m saddened by the stories I hear every day of people who have fallen victim to these disgraceful, despicable scammers. Their sole purpose is exploiting peoples weaknesses and lonely hearts. It’s shameful and disgusting and both Sam and I are committed to bringing this to light," Lauren continued. </p> <p>"Please, please check for the blue tick. If the account doesn’t have it, but has Sam’s name, you know it’s a fake."</p> <p>Lauren explained that the scammers after often pedalling get-rich-quick cryptocurrency schemes, while most of them are offering a romantic relationship. </p> <p>"He definitely isn't having an online romantic relationship with you," Sam's assistant messaged on behalf of the star.</p> <p>"That's the trash bag scammer wasting your time, potentially breaking your heart and disappearing with your money!"</p> <p>Followers were grateful for the warning, with one comment reading, "Please continue to report the fake accounts that contact you. It helps a lot and will continue to make Instagram a safer place for everyone."</p> <p>Others didn't take the warning too seriously, with many of his followers keen to poke fun at the scammers.</p> <p>One person said, "Who the hell have I been sending all those nudes to?"</p> <p>"Wait, you mean the message he sent me asking me to send him bitcoin to be in a Jurassic Park movie wasn't real?" said another, before adding, "Well, this is awkward!"</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Technology

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Things you should never say to a single friend

<h2>“But you’re so gorgeous!”</h2> <p>Although you might offer a compliment like this thinking it will boost your single friend’s spirits, it could be interpreted in a way that’s actually insulting on a much deeper level. Specifically, it could be read to imply the reason they’re single lies beyond surface appearances, and might be down to some flaw in character or personality. Contrary to popular opinion, beauty and charm aren’t a protective shield against feelings of loneliness, nor do they provide an advantage in the gamble we know as ‘finding a suitable match.’ Your friend’s attractiveness may spark the initial interest of a romantic partner, but it ultimately doesn’t improve their chances of a successful, long-lasting, or meaningful relationship.</p> <h2>“Don’t worry – you’ve still got lots of time.”</h2> <p>One sure-fire way to make a single friend anxious about getting older is to remind them that somewhere, a clock is ticking. Although this comment often comes from a good place (it’s meant to reassure and comfort), it can actually make things worse simply by assuming that your single friend feels some sort of pressure to meet an (imaginary) deadline.</p> <h2>“I’ll tell you what the problem is…”</h2> <p>Just… Don’t. Any comment that begins with “I’ll tell you what the problem is…” gives you an air of omniscience over your single friend’s problems and personality. Finding a potential partner and building a fruitful and intimate relationship is never going to be easy (for anyone!), and there’s never just one reason a perennially single friend remains single. Judgmental, over-simplified statements like these not only ignore the delicate nuances of your friend’s situation, but also make the fundamental faux pas of suggesting that being single itself is a problem.</p> <h2>“Are we ever going to see a ring on that finger?”</h2> <p>Perhaps you should instead be asking yourself, “Are you ever going to see that person as a complete human being in the absence of a ring?” The question, “Are we ever going to see a ring on that finger?” implies that, without the ring, your friend is pitiable, or in some way, not whole. While most of us do long for a happy, meaningful romantic relationship with another person, the fact of the matter is, some people don’t: they either feel no romantic compulsions whatsoever, or feel fulfillment even without a partner. As the British poet and activist Warsan Shire so beautifully put, ‘My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.’</p> <h2>“I’ve got the perfect guy for you!”</h2> <p>Let’s be clear: there’s nothing inherently sinister about wanting to play matchmaker. In fact, provided you’ve got the best intentions, it can even be admirable. However, before saying this to a single friend, you might first confirm that your friend is open to meeting people and dating. There are any number of reasons that a friend might not be interested in pursuing a relationship at the moment, and having a deep and open conversation about those reasons can often be more helpful than pairing them off with (your idea of!) the perfect match.</p> <h2>“You’re just too picky.”</h2> <p>It’s true – some of us put up barriers that prevent us from finding lasting love. It’s important to remember, however, that those barriers tend to have been put up in response to some kind of trauma that we’ve endured. With this in mind, try cultivating an empathetic perspective (putting yourself in your friend’s shoes) rather than a critical one (seeking to lay the blame).</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/things-you-should-never-say-to-a-single-friend" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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This single spending habit could threaten your savings

<p dir="ltr">As inflation rates hit record highs - at 7.75 percent for Australia and 7.3 percent for New Zealand - many are finding their savings are taking a hit under the soaring cost of living.</p> <p dir="ltr">But it isn’t just rising fuel and food prices you need to worry about, according to ANZ Plus team member Danielle Curry.</p> <p dir="ltr">In fact, there’s one commonly forgotten expense that’s making staying on top of our finances even trickier: phone apps.</p> <p dir="ltr">Apps like Uber Eats, Afterpay services, and those for your favourite stores, along with “must-have” shopping trends are making it so that mobile apps are driving our desire to spend money easily and beyond our means.</p> <p dir="ltr">According to new research from ANZ Plus, over recent years Aussies have consistently “overspent” the most on eating out and takeaway, with 53 percent noting that their top expenses were food-related.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There’s this real immediacy of spending that is becoming very normal for Australians,” Ms Curry told <em><a href="https://www.news.com.au/finance/money/budgeting/out-of-control-the-spending-habit-threatening-your-savings/news-story/f38d98db818c8f01191a4069106eb6af" target="_blank" rel="noopener">news.com.au</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And especially during the pandemic, we saw a lot of restaurants convert to home delivery services so people were still ‘eating out’ but just a bit differently.”</p> <p dir="ltr">A noticeable surge in online shopping and subscribing to streaming services also coincided with thousands starting to work from home during pandemic-induced lockdowns, accounting for Aussies’ overspending by 35 percent and 19 percent respectively.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And with the advent of things like buy now, pay later services it has really allowed that real immediacy of spending,” Ms Curry added.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Twenty years ago you couldn’t order something from Amazon and have it arrive the next day … so if you’re not tracking your expenses, are you really sure exactly how much you’re spending on things like Amazon?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Curry said one of the most concerning findings from the research was that a third of Ausies struggle to manage their finances, with 1.5 million of those surveyed admitting they “don’t feel in control of their money at all”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though data from Westpac suggests that the average Australian has around $22,000 in savings, big savers that skew the data means that a more realistic figure is closer to $3500.</p> <p dir="ltr">In response to skyrocketing electricity bills and other living expenses, many have chosen to cut down on “unnecessary expenses” and try to save any way they can.</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Curry said that even though most are trying to make ends meet, poor budgeting skills could leave many blindsided.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We know that a lot of people don’t feel in control and it’s because they don’t have the knowledge about their own finances,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But the first thing to understand is that it’s going to be different for every single Australian … and it’s important that everyone understands their own situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">“(It’s different) for some who might be financially struggling to make ends meet has to make choices between food and the electricity bill versus someone who is financially comfortable and is quite able to make a luxury purchase.”</p> <p dir="ltr">But, there are some ways we can take back control of our finances, such as tagging and categorising your spending through your banking app.</p> <p dir="ltr">This can help you identify “unnecessary” or passive purchases that can be stopped, such as forgotten subscriptions.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Everyone is at a different stage in their lives and make custom everyday expenses,” Ms Perez said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“(But) once we can really understand what we’re doing with that money we can see if there are trade-offs … to find that extra five dollars to add towards our savings.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Digital budgeting apps and tracking tools, including those offered in banking apps can also help you set up savings goals, a budget, and a savings buffer based on your financial situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Using these kinds of nifty features that we’ve got around expense categorisation and setting up savings goals, really help push your finances to the next level,” Ms Curry said.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-587d039a-7fff-d6bb-bc0c-b218a9d62332"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Money & Banking

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8 clever ways to use a single sock

<p>If you often end up with odd socks after doing the washing, you’ll be pleased to know that they can find a new use around the house.</p> <p><strong>1. Protect shoes</strong></p> <p>Keep your shoes stored inside socks when you are packing your suitcase. Not only will this keep high heels or dress shoes in better condition, it will also protect your clothes from any mud on the soles of your running shoes.</p> <p><strong>2. Keep your wardrobe fresh</strong></p> <p>Fill a sock with dry coffee grounds, tie a knot in the top, and hang it up in your wardrobe. It will absorb any musty smells from the area.</p> <p><strong>3. Buff and shine your car</strong></p> <p>A sock works better than a rag to wax the car, as you can slip your hand inside and use it like a cleaning glove.</p> <p><strong>4. Remove spider webs</strong></p> <p>Slip a sock over your broom and use it to get rid of hard to reach cobwebs - without ruining your broom.</p> <p><strong>5. Keep your mobile safe</strong></p> <p>If you’re going camping, hiking, or doing some work outdoors you can protect your phone by storing it in a sock in your pocket.</p> <p><strong>6. Remove dust from indoor plants</strong></p> <p>Place a sock on your hand and sprinkle a little water on it. Use it to buff and shine the leaves of your indoor plants.</p> <p><strong>7. Use socks for moving breakables</strong></p> <p>When packing to move house, slip anything in a sock that you’re worried about getting broken or scratched. Think small vases or glass salt and peppershakers.</p> <p><strong>8. Get rid of dust from the blinds</strong></p> <p>Dampen a sock and place on your hand to get rid of dirt and dust from blinds.</p> <p>Have we missed any great uses for a sock that you would like to share with us in the comments below?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/06/remove-wrinkles-from-clothes-no-iron/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>How to remove wrinkles from your clothes without an iron</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/06/the-secret-to-keeping-your-whites-white/"><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>The secret to keeping your whites white</strong></span></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/home-garden/2016/05/8-top-laundry-tricks/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>8 tricks that will change the way you do laundry forever</strong></em></span></a></p>

Home & Garden

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3 very good reasons to try a senior singles cruise

<p>Sometimes the most rewarding things we do in life are those that force us to get out of our comfort zone. Whilst the thought of going on a cruise by yourself might be terrifying, all the other passengers onboard will be in the same boat. Here are some of the great benefits of embarking on a senior singles cruise.</p> <p><strong>1.  Meet new people</strong></p> <p>Whether you end up finding love on the cruise or not, you will have the opportunity to meet plenty of people who are in the same season as life as you. If you don’t meet a partner, you could still end up finding terrific friends. Singles cruises are very social, so expect to meet new people on a day-to-day basis. Singles cruises will strategically help you form friendships with fun classes, social mixers and seating at mealtime.</p> <p><strong>2. Same motives</strong></p> <p>Singles cruises are exclusive to singles so all passengers can have an opportunity to find love. While enjoying the ocean views and blue skies, whoever you come across you will know they are on the cruise as the same reason as you – to meet someone new in an exciting way!  Knowing that everyone on board is single, will help you know that whoever catches your eye is open to starting a relationship.</p> <p><strong>3.  Fun environment</strong></p> <p>Whatever way you like to have fun, whether that be pottery or dance classes or playing golf, senior singles cruises have it all. If you find someone on board, you have a list of great date activities that you can do together as you get to know them. If you are finding it hard to strike up a conversation with someone or feel like you are getting lost in the crowd, you can do a social activity to get out of your cabin.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Cruising

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30-year-old single mum shamed for still living with her mother

<p>A 30-year-old woman has defended her choice to live at her mum’s house with her daughter following cruel trolls saying she should be “embarrassed”.</p> <p>Opening up about her living arrangement, the mum-of-one, Maggie says she doesn’t care about awful comments and plans to stay there “forever”, with her daughter Savvy.</p> <p>Posting a short video to her TikTok account, Maggie told her 10,000 followers what she often hears when people discover her situation.</p> <p>Over the top of a video that showed her holding Savvy in her arms, she wrote: “Are you embarrassed that you live at your parents with a baby at 30.”</p> <p>Hitting back, the young mother then shared a video of her and her daughter dancing and typed: “My mom’s house… and all the love my daughter gets here.”</p> <p>She then followed up her sentiments in the caption as she posted: “I turn 31 in 2 weeks and I told my mom that we’re going to live with her the rest of her life.”</p> <p>As well as enjoying spending time at her mum’s home, she added there was a further reason that she refuses to move out, sharing that the family have recently lost their father. </p> <p>Proving her point, insensitive trolls flocked to the comment section to have their say.</p> <p>One wrote: “Just sad. You’re too old.”</p> <p>Another added: “RIDICULOUS and embarrassing.”</p> <p>Fortunately, others were more sympathetic to Maggie and Savvy’s situation and praised her, saying they’d do exactly the same.</p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Woman wakes from coma to find she is now single

<p>An Australian woman has gone viral after revealing how her fiance left her for another woman while she was in a coma for three months.</p> <p>Brie Duval, 25, was living in Canada when her life took a horrific turn in 2020. She was out with friends when she fell off a 10m retaining wall, crashing headfirst onto the pavement.</p> <p>The 25-year-old was left with a brain injury and several broken bones and was flown to the University of Alberta Hospital where she was placed on life support in the ICU.</p> <p>Brie’s parents refused to turn off her life support and she miraculously began to show signs of improvement, waking up after three months. Additionally, Brie also suffered from post-traumatic amnesia, forgetting “simple things” like her passwords and address, she ended up remaining in hospital for an extra five months.</p> <p>Once she was able to remember day-to-day things, she was given back her phone and her first thought was to call her fiancé, as he hadn’t been with her in the hospital.</p> <p>That’s when she discovered her boyfriend of four years had moved in with another woman.</p> <p>In a TikTok that has been viewed two million times, Brie explained that when she went to call him for the first time after “finally” waking up from her coma, she found a text on her phone from another woman.</p> <blockquote class="tiktok-embed" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@hotcomagirl1/video/7103109625695784194" data-video-id="7103109625695784194"> <section><a title="@hotcomagirl1" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@hotcomagirl1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@hotcomagirl1</a> Real coma experience vs. senior year coma experience! <a title="fyp" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#fyp</a> <a title="coma" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/coma" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#coma</a> <a title="braininjuryawareness" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/braininjuryawareness" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#braininjuryawareness</a> <a title="braininjurysurvivor" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/braininjurysurvivor" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#braininjurysurvivor</a> <a title="♬ original sound - HotComaGirl113" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7103109615402912513" target="_blank" rel="noopener">♬ original sound - HotComaGirl113</a></section> </blockquote> <p>He also blocked her on all his social media accounts with the young woman claiming she hadn’t heard from her former fiance now in 11 months.</p> <p>“He doesn’t care that you nearly died with a 10% chance of living, but you know, at least he’s happy,” she continued.</p> <p>Brie’s video was immediately flooded with thousands of comments from other users also shocked by her fiance’s actions.</p> <p>Overwhelmed by all the support, Brie jumped into the comments section to thank viewers.</p> <p>“Thank you all for this support! I’ve had such a hard time and all of this love means the world,” she wrote.</p> <p>It prompted her to share several other videos, with one clarifying how exactly she fell.</p> <p>“So I did still plummet headfirst into concrete and go into a coma, I just wasn’t on a rooftop bar. I just said that because it was easier in the story to say rooftop bar.”</p> <p>If the news of her fiance wasn’t bad enough, given her freak accident happened at the height of the pandemic, her parents were unable to visit her in Canada, due to restrictions in Australia.</p> <p>“They told my mum that I had a 10 per cent chance of living and that she should get over to Canada as soon as she could because things weren’t looking good.”</p> <p>“My mum and dad went to the government and asked for special permission to say goodbye to me as things were bad at that point. They refused them, they would not give them a chance and they would not give them a reason, they just flat out said no.</p> <p>“So my mum told doctors in Canada to keep my life support on and do not under any circumstances turn that off, which they had to medically abide by.”</p> <p>Brie told the publication the incident made her realise she never wants to be apart from her family again and she has since moved back to Australia to be near them.</p> <p>The recovery process for Brie is ongoing as she continues to learn to live with a traumatic brain injury (TBI).</p> <p>“Getting back to normal life, just trying to establish what my new normal is – I couldn’t swallow when I first woke up. I’ve had to try and learn how to walk again – from my waist down to my toes, it feels like it’s gone dead,” she told the publication.</p> <p>She continues to share videos to raise awareness of what it’s like to live with a TBI.</p> <p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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Single mother’s new home accidentally cleared out

<p dir="ltr">A single mother has been left distraught after her apartment complex’s management mistook her apartment for one destined for eviction, and cleared out all the possessions belonging to her and her three children. </p> <p dir="ltr">Single mother Stephanie Gunia moved into the apartment in the US state of Nebraska last week, and knew something was not right as soon as she entered her new home. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I knew something was wrong, right when I walked in the door and saw my mat was gone,” she told local news channel KETV 7 Omaha. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We walked in and there was nothing in our apartment except for a mattress,” Gunia, 31, told the outlet. “My kids' stuff was gone, their clothes, everything.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When the devastated mother asked why the unauthorised clear-out occurred, Gunia revealed, “They said they got the wrong apartment. They cleaned out the wrong apartment.” </p> <p dir="ltr">All of the family’s belongings were thrown in dumpsters in the carpark of the apartment complex, covering everything in trash and grime. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Our stuff was in five of the seven dumpsters,” said Gunia, who had been living in the apartment for just one week before arriving home with her kids, who she had just picked up from school, to find it cleaned out.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I just went grocery shopping the day before, all that food is ruined, food was mixed in with the toys, and there was like beer and trash ‘gooze’ all over my kids' stuff, our clothes,” Gunia said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My kids were crying because they were scared, they don't know what's going on, they don't know why somebody threw their stuff away in a trash can.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The mother called the management of the complex in a panic, with staffers at the organisation telling her to call police to report that she had been burglarised, not realising their mistake. </p> <p dir="ltr">When officers arrived at the scene, they noticed no signs of burglary, as Stephanie’s neighbour informed them they had seen a group of men moving things out and placing them in the garbage. </p> <p dir="ltr">Police eventually discovered that the complex hired a company to clear out an apartment belonging to another tenant - one who owed back rent and was supposed to be evicted from the property that day.</p> <p dir="ltr">The management company has since apologised for the mistake, saying in a statement that “almost all” of the family's possessions had been rescued from the bin and that the group had provided Gunia a $250 gift card. </p> <p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, the distraught mother told <a href="https://www.ketv.com/article/there-was-nothing-in-our-apartment-la-vista-womans-apartment-cleaned-out-by-mistake/39745982">KETV</a> that while the gesture is a start, it does not come close to making good on the oversight, which has left her kids scared and without a bed to sleep on, as she is not comfortable letting them sleep on the sullied mattresses police and staff pulled from the dumpsters.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: KETV 7 Omaha News footage</em></p>

Real Estate

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Readers respond: What single event or decision do you think most affected the rest of your life?

<p>From travelling and seeing the world, to getting married and settling down, there are a lot of moments that can change your life forever.</p> <p>We asked our readers what single event or decision changed the trajectory of their lives, and the responses were overwhelming. </p> <p><strong>Kathleen Farrell</strong> - My decision to come to Australia! Changed my life and I have never regretted it!</p> <p><strong>Glen Crawford</strong> - Sunday 1st April 1979, I’d spent the entire weekend in the surf after 10 weeks forced abstinence due to a serious surfing accident, and I was tired, sunburnt and in need of a good nights sleep. </p> <p>2 of my young surfing mates turned up at the door and said they were taking me to the disco as I hadn’t been out for too long. I reluctantly agreed, and within the hour had met the young lady who’s been my best friend and wife for 42 years.</p> <p><strong>Tanya B Lyons</strong> - Giving birth to my Daughter, followed by getting sober and immigrating to the best country in the world Australia 40 yrs ago.</p> <p><strong>Noelene O'Donnell</strong> - Partner rang me at work and asked if I want to go to WA to live in 1983. I said YES (we were in NSW) and here we are still.</p> <p><strong>Helen Knowles </strong>- Leaving my first husband. Best decision I ever made for myself and my life.</p> <p><strong>Lewis Turner</strong> - I migrated from England to Australia 48 years ago. </p> <p><strong>Margaret Inglis</strong> - Buying a ticket at a spur of the moment for a trip to Sydney. My friend and myself were having morning tea, lunch time put a deposit on a ticket. Early 1969, Wellington NZ. </p> <p>Boat left Wellington for Sydney September 1969. Also on board were a group of guys. One ended up being my husband for nearly 42 years until he passed 7 years ago. Still in Australia.</p> <p><strong>Lorna Embling Tudball</strong> - Meeting &amp; marrying my husband, nearly 62 years ago.</p> <p><strong>Norma Fowler</strong> - At age 10 determined to go to selective high school despite mum wanting me to go elsewhere... to become a teacher.</p> <p><strong>Rhondda Walters</strong> - I quit my job, packed my bags and enrolled in University at the age of 32. A decision that changed my life.</p> <p><strong>Kim Galuschin</strong> - I had a Gastric-bypass operation at age 35. Now I'm 52 and have not gained any of the 40kg that I lost during the year after my surgery.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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Priest resigns after botching thousands of baptisms with single phrase

<p dir="ltr">An Arizona priest has voluntarily resigned from his church after it was ruled that he botched thousands of baptisms over the past 25 years - all by using one incorrect phrase.</p><p dir="ltr">Father Andres Arango left the St Gregory Catholic Church in Phoenix this month <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10511635/Phoenix-Catholic-priest-forced-resign-incorrectly-performed-THOUSANDS-baptisms.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">after</a> revealing he used an “incorrect formula” that made the baptisms invalid.</p><p dir="ltr">Rather than invoking the power of God by saying “I baptise you”, as required by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Father Arango said “we baptise you”, referring to the community.</p><p dir="ltr">As a result of his phrasing, every baptism he has performed since he was ordained in 1995 until June 2021 has been invalid.</p><p dir="ltr">This could also mean that subsequent confirmations and First Communions for those baptised by Arango could also be invalidated.</p><p dir="ltr">The Roman Catholic Diocese of Phoenix said even some marriages could possibly be affected, though they did not expand on how.</p><p dir="ltr">Father Arango will now work full-time offering spiritual guidance to Catholics whose baptisms have been deemed invalid so he can baptise them again.</p><p dir="ltr">In 2020, the Vatican issued a doctoral note clarifying that baptisms performed with the phrase “We baptise you in the name of the Father and the Son of the Holy Spirit” were invalid, prompting church leaders to investigate faith leaders including Father Arango.</p><p dir="ltr">His invalidated baptisms also came from his time working in churches in Brazil and San Diego.</p><p><span id="docs-internal-guid-b2bb13ae-7fff-280b-bab7-d38f8c5653e4"></span></p><p dir="ltr">In a letter announcing his resignation, Father Arango apologised to those affected and asked the community for “prayers, forgiveness, and understanding”.</p><p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/02/father-arango-letter.png" alt="" width="322" height="826" /></p><p dir="ltr"><em>Father Arango announced he would leave the church after the Vatican ruled that baptisms he performed over the past 25 years have been invalid. Images: St Gregory Catholic Church Bulletin</em></p><p dir="ltr">“It saddens me to learn that I have performed invalid baptisms throughout my ministry as a priest by regularly using an incorrect formula,” Father Arango wrote.</p><p dir="ltr">“I deeply regret my error and how this affected numerous people in your parish and elsewhere.</p><p dir="ltr">“With the help of the Holy Spirit and in communion with the Diocese of Phoenix I will dedicate my energy and full time ministry to help remedy this and heal those affected.”</p><p dir="ltr">The Diocese has said Father Arango remains a priest in good standing and that he has not been disqualified from his vocation or ministry as a result of his mistake.</p><p dir="ltr">Diocese of Phoenix Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted said he didn’t believe Father Arango intentionally harmed or deceived parishioners through his error.</p><p dir="ltr">“On behalf of our local Church, I am too sincerely sorry that this error has resulted in disruption to the sacramental lives of a number of the faithful,” Olmsted said in a <a href="https://www.stgregoryphx.com/note-on-baptism-validity" target="_blank" rel="noopener">statement</a>.</p><p dir="ltr">“This is why I pledge to take every step necessary to remedy the situation for everyone impacted.”</p><p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-a7665fe9-7fff-43e3-b9f2-e43368b1e9d8"></span></p><p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Padre Andres Arango Phoenix AZ (Facebook)</em></p>

Family & Pets

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See the shrines to Harry Potter, the Avengers and Disney in a single home

<p dir="ltr">Fans of <em>Harry Potter</em>, Marvel’s <em>Avengers</em>, and Disney’s <em>Beauty and the Beast</em> might not find much to agree on usually, but <a href="https://www.domain.com.au/news/this-florida-home-has-a-shrine-to-harry-potter-in-its-basement-1118276/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one house</a> in Florida is sure to make them all happy - if they have $8.23 million to spend.</p><p dir="ltr">Though it might appear to be a standard albeit large home with modern stylings at first glance, the two-storey home in Reunion, Florida contains homages to all three film franchises.</p><p dir="ltr">The lower level boasts an impressive dedication to the magical <em>Harry Potter</em> films - accessed by a rotating brick wall that reads “Platform 9¾” of course - with a full-size replica of the Hogwarts Express steam train that also contains a sleep carriage with two single beds.</p><p dir="ltr">Not only is there a full-size train, but the space also contains full-size recreations of Harry Potter, Dobby the House Elf and the Whomping Willow tree.</p><p dir="ltr">To finish it off, the area is completed by a train-themed bathroom with two frosted showers with quotes from the fictional character Albus Dumbledore.</p><p dir="ltr">As for <em>Avengers </em>fans, the home’s first-floor games room is the place to be. Arcade games lining one wall, a giant superhero mural covering another, and the fictitious group’s “A” logo on a third wall, while Avengers office chairs, a foosball table and an Avengers air hockey table fill the centre.</p><p dir="ltr">Elsewhere in the spacious home, there is a children’s bedroom styled to look like Belle’s room from <em>Beauty and the Beast</em>, complete with an appropriately-themed bathroom.</p><p dir="ltr">The rest of the eight-bedroom, 11-bathroom home features a sleek and modern design and a colour scheme of varying shades of whites, greys, and blues.</p><p dir="ltr">Other luxe features include the huge home theatre, swimming pool and spa, home gym, wet bar, rooftop terrace and an alfresco area with views of the private golf course.</p><p dir="ltr">Despite the sky-high price, as of publication an offer appears to have been made on the home, with the <a href="https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7844-Palmilla-Ct-Reunion-FL-34747/130960969_zpid/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Zillow listing</a> showing the property’s status as pending.</p><p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Zillow</em></p>

Real Estate

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“Today wasn’t my day”: Barty faces shock Olympic defeat

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ash Barty has experienced a shock loss in the first round of the Olympic singles, defeated in straight sets by world No. 48 Sara Sorribes Tormo.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Spanish player won against the young Aussie 6-4, 6-3.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though she made a rebound in the second set after losing two of her first three service games.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But at 3-3, Sorribes Tormo took the lead for 5-3.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Barty made 27 unforced errors, compared to five from Sorribes Tormo, and admitted she was too “loose”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It was a tough day. A disappointing day. I can’t lie about that,” Barty told Channel 7. “I can’t hide behind the fact that I wanted to do really well here. Today wasn’t my day.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I knew I wanted to try to take the match on and it would be a fine line of not pushing too hard and not getting in the patterns I didn’t want to get stuck in. [I was] too erratic.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The hot weather in Tokyo has seen some tennis players like Daniil Medvedec and Novak Djokovic ask for play to shift to night time to avoid the heat, but Barty couldn’t disagree more.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s brutal. Like an Australian summer,” Barty said. “I enjoy the heat and love playing out here in these conditions. Wasn’t meant to be.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After winning Wimbledon just two weeks ago, Barty’s Tokyo performance was “all over the place”, according to tennis commentator Jose Morgado.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">American sports reporter Timothy Burke described Barty’s playing as “the worst tennis I’ve seen her play in quite a while”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Charles McNulty, a theatre critic for the LA Times, believed Sorribes Tormo “exploited [Barty’s] backhand weakness”, while tennis writer Tumaini Carayol said the match was always going to be a tough one for the Aussie champ.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Sorribes Tormo always looked like an extremely difficult opponent for Barty on these slow Tokyo courts, and so she was,” Carayol tweeted.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Barty had hoped to take home two gold medals from Tokyo, but her recent victory with Storm Sanders in the opening rounds of the doubles means she could still claim one gold medal.</span></p>

News

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The single act that shows why Ash Barty is a next level champion

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When asked about her recent COVID-19 immunisation, Aussie tennis star Ash Barty gave a response that impressed fans.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">During her post-victory press conference in Stuttgart, after nabbing a spot in the quarter-finals of the WTA clay-court tournament in Germany, Barty received several questions about her vaccination.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She revealed the lengths she went to in order to avoid jumping the vaccine queue or using her tennis fame to receive preferential treatment in the roll-out of the vaccine.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Barty was also among the tennis leaders calling for the Tour’s suspension in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, sitting out the 2020 WTA Tour rather than risking the health of her team by travelling all over the world.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The world champion secured her first victory in Europe since her famous Roland Garros triumph, when she defeated Germany’s Laura Siegemund in her Porsche Tennis Grand Prix debut 21 months ago.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CN8TT4ih4Ij/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CN8TT4ih4Ij/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Ash Barty (@ashbarty)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As successful as she is on the court, it is her off-court behaviour that has fans impressed.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the press conference, Barty revealed she eventually received the Johnson &amp; Johnson vaccine at the Charleston Open in the United States earlier this month. Before she did, she checked with officials to ensure she was not taking away the opportunity from a member of the public.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We were looking at different avenues to try and get vaccinated without jumping the queue in Australia,” she said, according to Ben Rothenberg, tennis correspondent for the </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">New York Times</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“To see what our options were and we weren’t able to get much of an answer before we left in March.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We were able to get the vaccine, as were a lot of other players, through the Tour and that they had organised through a certain pharmacy that had extras, and that was important to me knowing that those who were the most vulnerable were able to get it first,” she explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">On receiving the jab, she said, “It was nice to know that we have got that small layer of protection.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sitting out Roland Garros last year due to the pandemic, the 24-year-old was succeeded by Poland’s Iga Swiatek as champion.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Prior to the press conference, she triumphed against 33-year-old Siegemund by winning all 24 points when she got her first serve into play, then fending off a second-set surge to secure victory in 84 minutes.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CN-z6t8lBnH/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CN-z6t8lBnH/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Women’s Tennis Association (@wta)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The win came as Barty’s first on European clay since defeating Marketa Vondrousova in June 2019, claiming her maiden grand slam singles title.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It was good to play on a new surface, the court was quite quick compared to what I am used to,” Barty said, having hit six aces in her opening display.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Following her surprise loss to Spain’s Paula Badosa in Charleston that ended her eight-match winning streak, her most recent win was an important rebound.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the upcoming quarter-finals, Barty will play Latvia’s Jelena Ostapenko, another former Roland Garros winner, or the Czech Republic’s Karolina Pliskova, a former world number one.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Barty retained her No. 1 WTA ranking earlier this month following her second consecutive Miami Open title.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 2021 French Open will commence on Monday, May 24.</span></p>

Beauty & Style

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Tens of millions face lockdown from a single super-spreader

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text redactor-styles redactor-in"> <p>A salesman promoting health products to the elderly and travelled around China has been linked to 102 confirmed COVID-19 infections.</p> <p>This has prompted tens of millions of people into lockdown.</p> <p>The man travelled while unknowingly infectious for several days before being tracked down by health authorities as a close contact of a confirmed case.</p> <p>“The super-spreading phenomenon occurred in our province mainly because when the superspreader was discovered, he was still in the early phase of his infection and had relatively strong ability to shed the virus,” Zhao Qinglong, an official with the Jilin provincial disease control and prevention centre, told state-run news agency Xinhua.</p> <p>Over a four-day period, the man held marketing sessions and seminars promoting health products that targeted elderly residents, with 79 people who attended the meeting going on to infect 23 close contacts.</p> <p>All those infected have been quickly placed in quarantine.</p> <p>These "health clubs" have come under scrutiny since the event as the sessions are unable to be regulated like large gatherings as they are usually held in private homes.</p> <p>“The infected people were gathered in an enclosed space for a long time,” Zhao told Xinhua.</p> <p>“Most of them are middle-aged and elderly people with underlying health conditions, and weak immunity, and therefore extremely susceptible to infection.”</p> <p>The average age of those infected is 63, with the oldest being 87 years of age.</p> <p>These health clubs are now being investigated by authorities to check whether the sessions violated any regulations.</p> </div> </div> </div>

News

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Why words for single women have changed through time

<p>In a recent interview with <em><a href="https://www.vogue.co.uk/news/article/emma-watson-on-fame-activism-little-women">Vogue</a></em>, actress Emma Watson opened up about being a single 30-year-old woman. Instead of calling herself single, however, she used the word “self-partnered.”</p> <p>I’ve studied <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/never-married-9780199237623?lang=en&amp;cc=us">and written about</a> the history of single women, and this is the first time I am aware of “self-partnered” being used. We’ll see if it catches on, but if it does, it will join the ever-growing list of words used to describe single women of a certain age.</p> <p>Women who were once called spinsters eventually started being called old maids. In 17th-century New England, there were also words like “<a href="https://www.whimn.com.au/love/dating/unmarried-and-over-26-theres-a-name-for-women-like-you/news-story/8e72155c24a8fc79719512d7597b4f08">thornback</a>” – a sea skate covered with thorny spines – used to describe single women older than 25.</p> <p>Attitudes toward single women have repeatedly shifted – and part of that attitude shift is reflected in the names given to unwed women.</p> <h2>The rise of the ‘singlewoman’</h2> <p>Before the 17th century, women who weren’t married were called maids, virgins or “puella,” the Latin word for “girl.” These words emphasized youth and chastity, and they presumed that women would only be single for a small portion of their life – a period of “pre-marriage.”</p> <p>But by the 17th century, new terms, such as “spinster” and “singlewoman,” emerged.</p> <p>What changed? The numbers of unwed women – or women who simply never married – started to grow.</p> <p>In the 1960s, demographer John Hajnal <a href="https://www.scribd.com/document/115001673/John-Hajnal-1965-European-Marriage-Patterns-in-Perspective">identified</a> the “Northwestern European Marriage Pattern,” in which people in northwestern European countries such as England started marrying late – in their 30s and even 40s. A significant proportion of the populace didn’t marry at all. In this region of Europe, it was the norm for married couples to start a new household when they married, which required accumulating a certain amount of wealth. Like today, young men and women worked and saved money before moving into a new home, a process that often delayed marriage. If marriage were delayed too long – or if people couldn’t accumulate enough wealth – they might not marry at all.</p> <p>Now terms were needed for adult single women who might never marry. The term spinster transitioned from describing <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/spinster-meaning-origin">an occupation that employed many women</a> – a spinner of wool – to a legal term for an independent, unmarried woman.</p> <p>Single women made up, on average, <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/never-married-9780199270606?cc=us&amp;lang=en&amp;">30% of the adult female population</a> in early modern England. <a href="http://www.localpopulationstudies.org.uk/PDF/LPS68/LPS68_2002_26-41.pdf">My own research</a> on the town of Southampton found that in 1698, 34.2% of women over 18 were single, another 18.5% were widowed, and less than half, or 47.3%, were married.</p> <p>Many of us assume that past societies were more traditional than our own, with marriage more common. But my work shows that in 17th-century England, at any given time, more women were unmarried than married. It was a normal part of the era’s life and culture.</p> <h2>The pejorative ‘old maid’</h2> <p>In the late 1690s, the term old maid became common. The expression emphasizes the paradox of being old and yet still virginal and unmarried. It wasn’t the only term that was tried out; the era’s literature also <a href="https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/001911725">poked fun</a> at “superannuated virgins.” But because “old maid” trips off the tongue a little easier, it’s the one that stuck.</p> <p>The undertones of this new word were decidedly critical.</p> <p>“<a href="https://trove.nla.gov.au/work/33875142?q&amp;versionId=41687269">A Satyr upon Old Maids</a>,” an anonymously written 1713 pamphlet, referred to never-married women as “odious,” “impure” and repugnant. Another common trope was that old maids would be punished for not marrying by “leading apes in hell.”</p> <p>At what point did a young, single woman become an old maid? There was a definitive line: In the 17th century, it was a woman in her mid-20s.</p> <p>For instance, the single poet Jane Barker wrote in her 1688 poem, “<a href="http://www.poetryexplorer.net/poem.php?id=10036317">A Virgin Life</a>,” that she hoped she could remain “Fearless of twenty-five and all its train, / Of slights or scorns, or being called Old Maid.”</p> <p>These negative terms came about as the numbers of single women continued to climb and marriage rates dropped. In the 1690s and early 1700s, English authorities became so worried about population decline that the government <a href="http://www.localpopulationstudies.org.uk/PDF/LPS68/LPS68_2002_26-41.pdf">levied a Marriage Duty Tax</a>, requiring bachelors, widowers and some single women of means to pay what amounted to a fine for not being married.</p> <h2>Still uneasy about being single</h2> <p>Today in the U.S., <a href="https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf">the median</a> first age at marriage for women is 28. For men, it’s 30.</p> <p>What we’re experiencing now isn’t a historical first; instead, we’ve essentially returned to a marriage pattern that was common 300 years ago. From the 18th century up until the mid-20th century, <a href="https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html">the average age at first marriage</a> dropped to a low of age 20 for women and age 22 for men. Then it began to rise again.</p> <p>There’s a reason Vogue was asking Watson about her single status as she approached 30. To many, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/27/marriage-by-this-age-babies-by-that-age-when-will-we-stop-giving-women-deadlines">age 30 is a milestone for women</a> – the moment when, if they haven’t already, they’re supposed to go from being footloose and fancy-free to thinking about marriage, a family and a mortgage.</p> <p>Even if you’re a wealthy and famous woman, you can’t escape this cultural expectation. Male celebrities don’t seem to be questioned about being single and 30.</p> <p>While no one would call Watson a spinster or old maid today, she nonetheless feels compelled to create a new term for her status: “self-partnered.” In what some have dubbed the “<a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2017/04/the_history_of_self_care.html">age of self-care</a>,” perhaps this term is no surprise. It seems to say, I’m focused on myself and my own goals and needs. I don’t need to focus on another person, whether it’s a partner or a child.</p> <p>To me, though, it’s ironic that the term “self-partnered” seems to elevate coupledom. Spinster, singlewoman or singleton: None of those terms openly refers to an absent partner. But self-partnered evokes a missing better half.</p> <p>It says something about our culture and gender expectations that despite her status and power, a woman like Watson still feels uncomfortable simply calling herself single.<em><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/amy-froide-411337">Amy Froide</a>, Professor of History, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-maryland-baltimore-county-1667">University of Maryland, Baltimore County</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/spinster-old-maid-or-self-partnered-why-words-for-single-women-have-changed-through-time-126716">original article</a>.</em></p>

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