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Your choice of holiday destination is a political act

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-canavan-228682">Brendan Canavan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-huddersfield-1226">University of Huddersfield</a></em></p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCDd7hl3tLw">Tickets, money, passports!</a> We all know what to check for during that last minute packing panic. But preparing for your holidays is about more than what you squeeze into your suitcase. It is about making a political choice.</p> <p>Tourism is an industry tied up with national and international politics like no other. Tourists are a source of foreign exchange, governments promote themselves through visitors, and politicians quite often worry about the social freedom that tourism can nurture. For these reasons tourists are both courted and scapegoated.</p> <p>At the most basic level tourism counts as an export industry. It is a source of foreign currency and can help to prop up a nation financially.</p> <p>However, local people often see few of the benefits of hosting tourists. Large organisations tend to control much of the tourism industry. These frequently pay little in the way of <a href="https://www.taxjustice.net/2015/11/09/guest-blog-sun-sea-sand-tourism-and-fantasy-finance/">local taxes</a>. Meanwhile local people shoulder much of the burden of sharing their space and facilities with visitors.</p> <p>Some <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09669582.2016.1206112">indigenous people</a> have asked foreign tourists to stay away. They have argued that tourism is threatening their culture, damaging their land’s ecosystems, and is a form of colonialism. In <a href="http://files.hawaii.gov/dbedt/visitor/sustainable-tourism-project/drafts/Native-Hawaiian-Impact-Report.pdf">Hawaii</a>, attempts are being made to reconcile some of the issues arising from the tourism industry over-exploiting an open and hospitable native culture.</p> <p>Where you spend your holiday money therefore contributes to legitimising particular politicians and their policies. However, tourists don’t just bring money into a destination. They also bring social and cultural inputs.</p> <p>Tourism has been associated with liberalising social values, empowering minorities, and even spreading democracy. In Spain, for example, the growth of tourism, initiated under the dictator, Francisco Franco, as a means of propping up an ailing economy, has been suggested as helping to usher in democratic change.</p> <p>Hosts and guests <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261517715300224">exchange observations and ideas</a>. They form relationships. And they stimulate <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0261517705000865">mutual creativity</a>. It is only in the past 20 years that China began to allow its people to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/aug/05/only-governments-can-stem-tide-of-tourism-sweeping-the-globe">freely travel abroad</a> after decades of forced isolation. Politicians are frequently fearful of the subversive ideas and awkward questions that travellers might bring back with them.</p> <p>A residual mistrust of tourists can see them scapegoated by politicians looking to place convenient blame. <a href="http://web.mit.edu/11.951/oldstuff/albacete/Course%20Reader/Culture%20and%20History/Tremlett%202006%20Chapter%204.pdf">In Barcelona</a>, a city dependent on tourism for its late 20th-century revival, tourists are being made increasingly unwelcome. They are blamed for increasing costs of living for residents, rather than the broader challenges of inequality and financial stagnation that raise uncomfortable questions about local political capacity.</p> <h2>Image control</h2> <p>Tourism is also a way for governments to assert their ideologies – internally and externally. Visitors to <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g147271-d147980-Reviews-Museum_of_the_Revolution_Museo_de_la_Revolucion-Havana_Ciudad_de_la_Habana_Provinc.html">Cuba</a> for example, can visit the Museum of the Revolution, reportedly one of the top things to do in Havana.</p> <p>Research has shown that the exhibits <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160738399001152">sold as heritage</a> to tourists prioritise certain specific stories and can silence others. Over time the official narrative becomes established and other perspectives may be forgotten. <a href="https://historicengland.org.uk/whats-new/news/england-queer-history-recognised-recorded-celebrated">Historic England</a> has, for example, recently begun to try and include the often overlooked queer history of many heritage sites.</p> <p>Meanwhile tourism can be a means of raising and modifying a country’s image on the world stage. Israel has for many years used gay tourism to soften its international image by making the country seem progressive in a part of the world which generally is not. Dubai has established itself in the same region as a deluxe playground filled with sights and indulgence like nowhere else.</p> <p>However, the commitments of both of these destination’s governments to the touristic image they sell is debateable. LGBTQ people in Israel recently had restrictions placed upon their <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/protests-erupt-israel-lgbt-surrogacy-law-approved-1034931">right to surrogacy</a> by their parliament. Meanwhile Dubai is well known for its cases of people facing severe judicial sentences for acts as innocuous as accidentally <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/22/briton-jailed-for-three-months-in-dubai-for-touching-mans-hip">brushing another man’s bum</a>.</p> <h2>Having a better holiday</h2> <p>On the one hand the image sold to tourists is often not the same as the reality faced by like-minded people living within a country. On the other, tourists may themselves be expected to conform to regulations they would not agree with or accept back home.</p> <p>The power of tourism is not lost on political actors. Recently the Chinese government successfully put <a href="https://theconversation.com/taiwan-how-airlines-are-being-dragged-into-chinas-bitter-dispute-over-the-islands-sovereignty-100932">pressure on international airlines</a> to stop referring to Taiwan as a country or face retaliation.</p> <p>Tourists should not leave it up to politicians to exploit their desire for exploration for self-interested purposes. We need to appreciate our power as consumers; supporting destinations that celebrate tourism as a means of mutually rewarding host-guest exchanges and boycotting those which do not. Tourists have a lot of potential influence. They should use it to hold politicians to account.</p> <p>So there are a few things to consider when planning your holiday. Find out whether your travel provider committed to investing in local taxes, jobs and suppliers. Research the attitudes of local residents towards tourism beforehand in order that you can be a better guest. Bring back more than a nice tan by swapping ideas, stories and phone numbers. Check the public image of a destination matches its private one and don’t support hypocrites. And finally, be aware of politicians using tourism to bully those with whom they don’t agree – and be prepared to call them out.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/100846/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-canavan-228682"><em>Brendan Canavan</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-huddersfield-1226">University of Huddersfield</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-choice-of-holiday-destination-is-a-political-act-100846">original article</a>.</em></p>

International Travel

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Taking a cruise? Here are 10 things polite people never do on cruises

<p><strong>Argue in the cabin</strong></p> <p>Especially late at night, be courteous. “Cruise ship rooms tend to have thin walls; therefore you always want to be respectful when you’re walking through hallways so as not to disturb other guests,” says Bonnie Tsai, founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. </p> <p>“This also includes being as quiet as you can when you’re inside your cabin.” Cruisers who really want to avoid as much noise as possible shouldn’t book their room under the gym or pool deck, if possible.</p> <p><strong>Pretend the cruise is a personal yacht</strong></p> <p>The ship is your home away from home for a set amount of time. You should still keep in mind your behaviour and presentation, according to Tsai. “There’s no need to show off your immense collection of expensive jewellery or wear lingerie or PJs in the hallways,” she says. </p> <p>There are plenty of other guests sharing the same space, and they may not want to see your plaid PJs.</p> <p><strong>Hog lounge chairs </strong></p> <p>It’s impolite to save seats for your family and friends, whether it’s by the pool or in the theatre. Tsai says if you must save a seat, do so for only 30 minutes. Ships have a limited amount of seating, so be mindful. Another important tip to keep in mind is if your group wants to sit together, show up at the same time. </p> <p>“If it’s a situation where every lounger is sure to be occupied by 10 am, many cruises allow guests to place towels on loungers for a maximum of 30 minutes before they arrive,” Tsai says. “Gauge the situation and act with consideration for other guests.” Don’t fall for one of the most common cruise misconceptions, either.</p> <p><strong>Spread germs </strong></p> <p>If you’re not feeling so great during your cruise, do your best to keep your germs to yourself. “When one person is sick on a cruise, it’s easy for the whole ship to get infected as everyone’s staying in close quarters,” Tsai says.</p> <p>If you feel a cold coming on, try to avoid being in overly-crowded areas, so you don’t get others sick as well. And always cover your mouth with the nook of your elbow when you cough or sneeze.</p> <p><strong>Skip the tip</strong></p> <p>Many major cruise lines charge a daily fee for tips, but lots of people have confusion about tipping, according to Tsai. Confirm the tipping policy before booking your cruise. “If the cruise line doesn’t include tip in your payment, be sure to factor that into your budget when you plan for your trip,” Tsai says. </p> <p>“If tipping isn’t included and there is a standard tipping policy, then be sure to deliver it to the staff who’s helped you during your trip.” If tipping is expected, it’s customary for room service, dining services, childcare, and any additional alcohol.</p> <p><strong>Constantly complain</strong></p> <p>There’s no reason to be rude if something doesn’t go your way during the cruise. Polite people never take issues out on crew members, according to Emilie Dulles, an event protocol and etiquette expert. “The crew is there to ensure that every traveller has the best experience onboard possible, yet they are also skilled human beings who should be treated with respect, grace, and kindness,” Dulles says. </p> <p>“Nothing is as tacky as yelling at a server, or complaining at the turn-down staff for forgetting an extra blanket, or hitting on a mixologist after one too many daiquiris.” Pay respect and attention to cruise workers.</p> <p><strong>Drink too much </strong></p> <p>Everyone should enjoy their cruise, and if that means sipping on fruity cocktails, that’s your business. If drinking regularly isn’t something you do, or you don’t know how to handle your liquor, it could lead to lots of rude behaviour. </p> <p>“Inhibitions go down as blood alcohol content goes up, so to avoid embarrassing oneself and disrupting other travellers’ cruise experience, it’s more polite to keep one’s cocktail count in check,” Dulles says.</p> <p><strong>Let kids run wild </strong></p> <p>Many families don’t keep a close eye on their kids while on a cruise, Dulles says. “There are assigned areas for children to run, jump, and be themselves with full energy under the supervision of trained staff,” Dulles says. “The entire ship is not their playground.”</p> <p>Polite people recognise that not all cruise travellers want to see or hear kids all the time. Mind the signs that show what areas are only for adults, families, or kids. “By respecting those boundaries, not only will children enjoy themselves more, but also adults will be able to relax and make the most of their time at sea.” Some cruises are especially for families.</p> <p><strong>Hoard food </strong></p> <p>All-inclusive food is very alluring. It’s easy to take things to the extreme. And although the buffet is tempting, remember not to be wasteful. “When it comes to the all-inclusive aspect of cruise voyages, many travellers will see this as an opportunity of getting as much as possible out of their fare,” Dulles says. </p> <p>“By piling more food than they can consume on their buffet plate and ordering cocktail after cocktail just because they can, travellers can be very wasteful and inconsiderate towards the crew who spends a lot of time and energy putting together the meals and drinks available.” Instead, take enough food for one sitting. You can always choose to go back for seconds, but this is more elegant than throwing away platefuls of perfectly good food.</p> <p><strong>Dress inappropriately</strong></p> <p>During the daytime, there are generally no dress code requirements on cruises. Tsai notes, however, if you plan on a formal dining experience with other guests, dress appropriately for the occasion. Generally, dress code requirements for the evening are in the cruise’s daily program, according to Tsai.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/travel/10-things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Cruising

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10 polite habits nail techs actually dislike – and what to do instead

<p><strong>Nail salon etiquette mistakes</strong></p> <p>Repeat after us: Pampering yourself is important. An easy way to do just that? Getting a manicure. Not only is it relatively affordable, but prettily painted nails can also put an extra pep in your step. Of course, the nail tech who does your manicure plays a large role in making you feel so good: From that wonderful hand massage to getting your cuticles in tip-top shape, their skills can make a huge difference. So, it only makes sense that you’d want to treat them really well.</p> <p>But here’s the thing: Certain seemingly polite etiquette rules can actually make a nail tech’s job harder. Plus, while it’s important to be nice, you don’t have to try extra hard to make their life easier. “A manicure is your time off, so you should relax,” says Karina Medrano, a nail technician.</p> <p>So what does that mean? It means there are certain polite habits that are totally a must. And then there are other moves you can (and should) skip so you can focus on your own relaxation. Since it can be hard to identify exactly what most people dislike, we turned to the pros to fill us in on polite moves that are actually etiquette mistakes at the nail salon.</p> <p><strong>Anticipating their next move</strong></p> <p>Over the course of your manicure, your nail tech will likely move your hands around a bit – turning them over to apply lotion and rotating each finger to paint your tips with the best nail polish. If you’ve had a number of manicures, you may even be able to anticipate what they’ll need you to do next and be tempted to save them from having to tell you how to move. Don’t do it. “Many times, clients position themselves in a way that seems to be helpful, but it’s the contrary,” says Medrano. You may make the wrong move and actually mess up their paint job, causing them to have to start over.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> “It’s best to let your nail tech move you around,” says Medrano. “There is no need to tense up – just relax.” Put simply, wait for them to direct you. One way to make that easier is to pay attention to what’s going on. If you have headphones on and are listening to music or a podcast, keep it at a low enough volume that you can hear your technician if they need you to do something.</p> <p><strong>Keeping the conversation going</strong></p> <p>When you’re getting your nails done, you’re literally face to face with your manicurist. Because of this, you may feel like it’s your job to chat with them and keep them entertained. But there’s no need to rack your brain for conversation starters. This is a job, and there is zero expectation that you should keep your nail tech entertained, says Medrano. If you want to chat, no problem. If you don’t? Well, that’s OK too.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> If you’d prefer quiet, Medrano says that it’s become totally normal to ask for a “silent appointment”. You can either let the salon know when you book your appointment or you can mention to your tech when you sit down that you are going to use the appointment to relax and have some quiet time.</p> <p><strong>Giving a colour a chance when you don't like it </strong></p> <p>You arrive at the salon and are faced with a wall of nail polish colours. Whether you want the trendiest colour of the season or just what you’re in the mood for, you’ll probably spend some time debating the perfect shade. Fast-forward to the moment your manicurist is slicking it on, and – you’re not so sure about it. But you feel bad and want to give it a chance. Maybe you’ll like it once the second coat is on, right? And you’d hate to make the tech take it off and start over.</p> <p>“For many, the hardest time to speak up during their appointment is when they don’t like the colour,” says Medrano. “But it’s better to tell us the second you start doubting your choice. Applying the colour is the most time-consuming part, and catching the colour change before doing all 10 fingers helps us stay on track with our appointments.” Plus, your nail tech wants you to walk away happy!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> If you’re not feeling the colour, speak up as soon as possible. You can simply tell them you’re not sure you like it. Then, tell them what you don’t like – maybe the red you chose is too orange or the pink is too sheer. They may be able to suggest another shade that is what you are looking for. After all, they see lots of different colours every day.</p> <p><strong>Removing your own gel</strong></p> <p>If you get gel manicures, you know that removing that type of polish can take a long time. You have to sit with remover on your nails for a while before the gel can be scraped away. But trying to do it at home to save time and work for your nail tech is not advisable. Gel polish needs to be removed in a certain way to minimise damage, warns nail artist Braelinn Frank. If you try to remove it yourself and wreck your nails, your tech will be left trying to get them back into shape to prevent your nails from peeling.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> When you make your appointment, let them know you have gel polish that will need to be removed. This allows the salon to build in more time for your appointment so the gel can be removed properly by a professional and you don’t make a bigger mess for your manicurist.</p> <p><strong>Deferring to the pro</strong></p> <p>Do you want rounded nails or more of an almond shape? Do you want your cuticles cut, or do you just want your manicurist to use really good cuticle oil before pushing them back? These are all decisions you’ll need to make during your appointment. Don’t just defer to the tech. Yes, they’re pros, but these are your nails. “It’s helpful when someone knows what they want their nails to look like,” says Medrano.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> If you really aren’t sure what you want, avoid telling the nail tech to do whatever they’d like. A better way to approach it is to ask them for their input on the different options and then make the decision that’s best for you based on what they tell you.</p> <p><strong>Cleaning up</strong></p> <p>There’s always a little bit of a mess when you get your nails done – think nail clippings, dust from filing, used cotton balls from removing polish. Worried that your nail tech is grossed out by all this and annoyed at having to pick up after you? They’re not. Not only that, but if you try to clean up, you might just get in the way. “It’s part of our job to keep up with the mess,” says Medrano. “And we know our way around our station best.” Remember, you can always give yourself a manicure at home, but if you go to the salon, one of the perks is not having to clean up!</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> If you want to help, the best thing you can do is stay out of your nail tech’s way. As they try to wipe down their station, move your hands so they can do that. In other words, pay attention and adjust your positioning when needed – that will be the best way to help.</p> <p><strong>Moving your own stuff to the drying station</strong></p> <p>Your manicure is done, and it’s time to move over to the drying station. You feel bad about making a tech pick up your handbag, so you grab it yourself. While your intention is to be kind, you may smudge your nails and mess up all the hard work they just did. “We are here to help,” says Medrano, who confirms it’s better for them to help than to have you mess up your nails. Plus, even a little chip or smudge is a cardinal sin when it comes to making your manicure last longer.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> Allow them to move your bag (and any other items you have with you) to the drying station. Be gracious, and say thank you. Also let them pull out the chair or stool for you. Really don’t want someone to pick up your bag? Consider wearing a small crossbody bag so you can keep it on during your appointment.</p> <p><strong>Holding it in</strong></p> <p>Maybe you have to sneeze, or perhaps you are mid-manicure and suddenly have to pee. Holding it in does nobody any favours. While you may not want to interrupt the appointment, your nail tech would rather you be comfortable and enjoy the service. Plus, if you hold in your sneeze, it could backfire and lead to a bigger sneeze where you spray germs everywhere. “Do not be scared to ask if you need to do something,” says Medrano. “Nothing surprises us.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> Need to use the bathroom? Let your tech know, and ask when the best time would be for you to do so. Have to sneeze? Say, “I’m going to sneeze.” Then, rather than using your hands to cover your mouth (which your tech then needs to go back to touching), sneeze into the crook of your arm.</p> <p><strong>Trying to shimmy your credit card out of your wallet</strong></p> <p>If the end of your appointment has come and you still haven’t paid, sliding your credit card out of your wallet with wet nails may feel like a Herculean task. But you can’t possibly ask your nail tech to do that, right? That would be rude. Wrong again. It’s actually ruder to smudge the beautiful paint job your nail tech just put a ton of time and energy into.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead:</em></span> “The amount of times that I have helped take out credit cards? It’s quite often,” says Medrano. “Just ask! Truly, it’s no problem.” Make it easier on your tech by telling them exactly where it is and what colour the card is; that way, they don’t have to fish around for it. Also, there’s no need to apologise – just say thank you!</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/tips/10-polite-habits-nail-techs-actually-dislike-and-what-to-do-instead" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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11 polite habits house cleaners secretly hate – and what to do instead

<p><strong>The dos and don'ts of cleaning etiquette</strong></p> <p>Housekeepers are like lawyers. They see you at your worst – yes, mostly your home, but you too – and keep their lips sealed. With a cleaning confidante like that, it’s only natural to want to do little things to show your appreciation, like asking about their lives or even helping them clean. But despite your good intentions, these kind gestures can sometimes miss the mark.</p> <p>The house cleaners we spoke with revealed tales of extra (dirty) work they were “trusted with” but didn’t want to do, “helpful” cleaning tips that weren’t actually helpful and little etiquette mistakes that simply sucked time from what you hired them to do: clean your house. To be fair, there aren’t any hard-and-fast etiquette rules on this topic. That’s why we asked cleaning experts to give us the inside scoop on some of the thoughtful things people do that drive them crazy – and what to do instead.</p> <p><strong>Cleaning before they arrive</strong></p> <p>You may truly believe you’re helping by cleaning before your housekeeper arrives, and maybe you are. It depends on what you mean by cleaning. If you’re quickly passing a mop over a grimy kitchen floor or wiping your granite benchtops with a wet sponge and not drying them, cleaning pros say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” With the grime now further embedded into the floor or streaks on the countertops, it could actually take them more time to fix your mistake. And at the very least, they’ll have to duplicate your work anyway.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: focus on the clutter. “Taking things off the counters and clearing the floors can help us work much faster, and that means a better cleaning for the same amount of money,” says housecleaner, Gretchen Boyd. “Clear the clutter for a better clean, but leave the scrubbing to us!”</p> <p><strong>Talking to them while they're cleaning</strong></p> <p>After a while, your housekeeper becomes more like a friend. You ask them about their lives and their families, and they certainly know all about yours. It would be rude not to talk to them while they’re there. Plus, they’re doing all the tasks you don’t want to do, so the least you could do is make things less boring with a little chitchat, right? Nope! In fact, that ‘entertaining’ chitchat can really mess with their cleaning schedule.</p> <p>“Once, a client wanted to discuss a personal issue with me while I was cleaning their home. I was happy to listen, but it extended my cleaning time by about 15 to 20 minutes,” says cleaner Laura Avila.  “I enjoy getting to know my clients, but it’s important to keep in mind that my priority is to provide them with a clean space, and conversations can sometimes hinder that goal.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: spend a few minutes chatting when your housekeeper arrives, then let them get to work. “What I really appreciate is when clients give me some space to work in silence or maybe put on some music that we can both enjoy without having to chat the whole time,” says Avila. “That way, I can focus on doing a great job and getting everything cleaned up efficiently.”</p> <p><strong>Following them around while they work</strong></p> <p>You’re not hovering; you’re keeping them company. Nope, sorry – you’re hovering. Even if you think you’re being polite by showing an interest in their work or keeping them company, this polite gesture rarely comes across as you’re hoping. Instead, house cleaners say that having someone watching them while they scrub and scour the shower gives the impression that the client doubts if their cleaner even knows how to clean the bathroom at all. And having someone watching your every move can be distracting and unnerving.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: “I prefer when clients let me work on my own,” says Avila. If you have specific requests or concerns, talk them over when your housekeeper first arrives. Checking on progress or asking questions is fine, but minimise those types of interactions. That way, they can focus on doing the amazing job that you want them to do.</p> <p><strong>Offering agency workers extra pay for extra work </strong></p> <p>Who wouldn’t like to make some extra cash easily? Customers who go through an agency may think they are helping their house cleaner by offering extra payment for work that isn’t in the contract. What they don’t realise is that this may actually be against company policy, and their house cleaner could get in trouble. Beyond that, because professional cleaners allocate a set amount of time for each job, doing that additional chore could cause them to run late to their other clients’ homes, says Rachel Rios, a cleaning professional. All this also puts the cleaner in the awkward position of having to say no and disappoint the client.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: talk to the agency ahead of time if you have a special request. Agree upon any additional charges it may incur, as well as when the cleaning will take place.</p> <p><strong>Giving vague instructions</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, clients feel like giving too many instructions will insult the cleaning pro – after all, this is their job. Or they figure the cleaner knows to include tasks like cleaning ceiling fans and windows in their weekly routine, so they casually say something like: “Clean the living room.” The problem? Without specific instructions on which areas of the house to clean, which surfaces to focus on or what kind of cleaning products to use, a house cleaner is not sure what exactly needs to be done.</p> <p>There may also be confusion about whether “cleaning” entails a thorough wipe-down or a deep-clean. “Each client has different preferences and expectations,” says Hugo Guerrero, a certified house cleaning technician, “so it’s important to communicate clearly.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: provide a list with specific details about how each task should be completed. “Be specific,” says Guerrero. “That way, there are fewer misunderstandings and more satisfactory cleaning jobs.”</p> <p><strong>Moving items before they arrive</strong></p> <p>You might think you’re helping your house cleaner by moving sculptures, photographs, vases and other home accessories off table tops and shelves. But this ends up creating more work for them, as well as confusion. After all, now they don’t know where these items belong – and where they should put them once they’re clean. They might also knock them over if you put them in a strange spot or accidentally break them while moving them back in place.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: leave everything in its original position, and let the cleaners move the items themselves. “Doing so makes it easier for the cleaner, who is used to cleaning a certain way,” says Ahmad Jamal, a cleaning expert with Cleaners Advisor. “When clients move items around, I may need to move things back to their original place in order to clean properly.” Plus, those decorative items need to be dusted and cleaned as well, and there’s a specific way to do that. If you need anything in particular moved, let your cleaner know in advance.</p> <p><strong>Pre-soaking the shower or tub with bleach</strong></p> <p>Clients who don’t really know how to clean a bathtub the right way may think it’s helpful to pre-soak the shower or bathtub with bleach, but this can actually be incredibly dangerous for your house cleaner. If the area is not rinsed thoroughly, it could result in a chemical reaction with the cleaning supplies the cleaning pro is using in your bathroom. For example, when bleach mixes with ammonia, it produces an odourless, toxic gas that can cause respiratory distress and even death.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: “If you do decide to do any pre-cleaning before your house cleaner arrives, communicate which chemicals you used and where,” says Toby Schulz, CEO of Maid2Match in Australia. “And please remember to make sure the room is well ventilated.”</p> <p><strong>Leaving a key with a neighbour </strong></p> <p>Sometimes scheduling conflicts arise, and you need to arrange for your house cleaner to get a key to your home. Of course, you don’t want to cancel at the last minute and totally upend your cleaning pro’s schedule, and this is a good solution. Well, it is when it goes off without a hitch … which rarely happens. What if the neighbour isn’t home or doesn’t hear the doorbell?</p> <p>“This never seems to quite work as planned,” says cleaner, Olive Cantor. “Plus, the entire cleaning job runs late, and that can impact not only our client’s cleaning but also our entire day.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: work out a mutually agreeable option, like bringing your key to your house cleaner earlier in the day or hiding it away in an uncommon place like under a driveway paver. If you’re looking for a more permanent solution, you might want to invest in a smart lock that lets you provide an employee with “digital keys” that work just for that day.</p> <p><strong>Providing your own cleaning products and tools</strong></p> <p>It’s a nice gesture to want to provide everything your house cleaner needs so it’s all right there waiting for them and they don’t have to lug it to your house every week. But insisting on the wrong tools and products can actually make the job harder, especially when you leave out all those items to “help.”</p> <p>“This [makes] it hard to find my way around and determine the right way to clean each surface,” says Jenna Shaughnessy, a former professional house cleaner who’s currently a home decor and DIY expert. “While you may have excellent intentions, it might make cleaning harder and take more time.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: communicate your preferences in advance (like, maybe you only want natural cleaning products or your kid is allergic to a certain scent), and then discuss your house cleaner’s preferences as well. They’re the pros, after all, and they know what’s good! Perhaps they find a certain vacuum to be more effective or love a product that cuts their work time in half.</p> <p>You can also discuss whether they would like you to stock up on these items for them or if they would prefer to bring their own supplies. “That way,” says Avila, “I can be sure that I’m using things I’m familiar with and that I know will work well for the job.”</p> <p><strong>Offering 'helpful advice' while they're working</strong></p> <p>It’s your home, and it has some quirks. To be fair, so do you. And you know your house cleaner wants to do the job to your specifications, so if you happen to be in the same room and notice they could be doing something differently, you might want to offer your two cents, whether it’s about the best way to clean that tricky oven rack or how to scrub the stainless steel sink. But truly, resist the urge.</p> <p>Lauren Doss, owner of a cleaning business, notes that all the stopping, starting and direction-giving makes it difficult to work efficiently. With one client who wanted things done a very specific way and kept interjecting as she worked, Doss says it “added a lot of time to the job, as I had to double-check each step with them.” Not to mention that this behaviour shows a lack of trust, even if you aren’t quite as intrusive as that client was.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: Provide clear instructions to your cleaner before they start working, then let them do their job. “It’s important for clients to trust their housekeeping professionals and allow them to work without interference,” says Doss. “If there’s a problem, offer constructive criticism rather than nitpicking.”</p> <p><strong>Not wanting to burden your house cleaner with other home problems </strong></p> <p>House cleaners don’t need to know tiny details about every maintenance issue in your house. Too much information! However, let’s be clear: they sure appreciate your telling them about problems that affect their job. A burned-out bulb in the fridge is not important … but a clogged toilet definitely is.</p> <p>And that’s not the only potential issue here. “I had one client who failed to tell me that the door on their second oven was loose,” recounts Cantor. “I went to open the oven to clean it, and off came the door! Not only was that scary – and potentially dangerous – but I was then worried that I was the one who broke it.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Do this instead</em></span>: let your house cleaner know if something they are going to be cleaning or using is broken. If you won’t be home when your house cleaner arrives, leave sticky notes on problem places. In the case of the broken oven door, Cantor says, “a little heads-up would have saved a lot of stress for everyone!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/11-polite-habits-house-cleaners-secretly-hate-and-what-to-do-instead?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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11 polite habits cruise workers actually dislike – and what to do instead

<p><strong>Onboard etiquette</strong></p> <p>At hotels and all-inclusive resorts, workers come and go over the course of your stay. That’s not the case on cruises, where cruise ship employees will be sailing with you throughout the entire voyage. Because of that, you get to know your stateroom attendant, preferred bartender and favourite performer in a different way, and you might want to go out of your way to be friendly and polite to them. But while your motivations may be good, the etiquette rules at sea aren’t necessarily the same as the ones on land.</p> <p>Some habits you think are polite don’t go over quite the way you’d expect. They may even affect cruise worker’s pay rate and the opportunity for them to be offered a future contract, according to Alissa M., a performer who’s worked on some of the world’s top cruise lines, including Holland America, Princess and Norwegian. And other seemingly kind gestures may actually be awkward or get in the way of an employee doing his or her job.</p> <p>So, what do you need to know before you embark on a cruise? We got the inside scoop from cruise ship directors, chefs, servers, entertainers, stateroom attendants and other employees to find out the missteps they wish you’d avoid – and what you should do instead. These cruise tips will make sure it’s smooth sailing for everyone, every time.</p> <p><strong>Raving about your special-request dinner</strong></p> <p>It’s wonderful when you have such a delicious meal that you want to compliment the chef and tell everyone at your dinner table about it. However, when the item in question is a special request – especially one that required advance notice for preparation – the chef won’t be able to replicate it right away, which may upset other guests who want it.</p> <p>“The problem is not when they share it but when everyone loves the dish and then wants it now. A special request cannot be mass-produced,” explains one chef on a small luxury cruise line who prefers to remain anonymous. “The other concern is that many people in the kitchen are now making dozens of special requests, and they’re being pulled away from preparing dishes from the regular menu.”</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: tell your dinner mates that your special-request dish was excellent after they’re finished with their meals. That way, you’ve complimented the chef, but you’ve also given him and other chefs in the galley ample time to recreate the dish for more passengers.</p> <p><strong>Sharing positive feedback about entertainers to the cruise director or guest services</strong></p> <p>Guests may think they’re doing entertainers a favour when they compliment their performances to other employees on the ship, but that message isn’t going to the right people. “A lot of people assume that the cruise director is the ‘boss’ of the entertainers, but rarely are they the ones making hiring decisions,” explains Alissa. “Because my agent and corporate personnel are shoreside, they don’t see what happens onboard.”</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: complete the surveys at the end of your cruise, and turn them in or submit them online. “The official feedback surveys are the only way positive messages get back to the decision makers who actually decide my bookings, pay rate and more,” Alissa explains. “If a worker really stands out to you on your cruise in any department, please mention them by name in the guest post-cruise survey. Telling the cruise director or guest services will do very little to benefit that employee who went above and beyond.”</p> <p><strong>Helping to bring in the boat after an excursion or expedition</strong></p> <p>It takes a lot of effort to get that Zodiac or tender boat back to where it needs to be after an excursion, and if you can help, why wouldn’t you? Well, because it’s not actually as helpful as you think it is. “Some guests grab the poles to ‘help’ when they are approaching the platform and returning to the ship, but this causes the boat to jerk, or the boat must pull away again from the ship because they have unsteadied it,” explains one expedition team leader on a small ship about this etiquette mistake. “Guests can also injure themselves by pulling too hard and straining a muscle, or they can hurt their hands and fingers.”</p> <p>Another problem? Sometimes people stand up in the boat, which causes a danger to the group, since the driver can’t see properly.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: stay seated in the boat, and hold on tightly to the ropes until the boat is secured by the expedition team and crew on the ship. The team will tell you when it’s safe to get up and how to leave the boat. Leave the navigation to the experts to keep you and everyone else safe.</p> <p><strong>Offering to buy an entertainer a drink during the show</strong></p> <p>If you’re enjoying the performances of a singer, dancer or piano player on your ship, you might want to buy them a drink to say thank you during the show. However, that’s not the best way to express your gratitude. Plus, it might not even be allowed. “I worked for some cruise lines where our contracts explicitly stated we could not have alcohol onstage or drink close to showtime,” explains Alissa. “In some instances, this is a fireable offense.” Plus, it can be awkward. “We don’t want to be rude,” she adds, “but we also cannot break our contract rules.”</p> <p>Beyond that, beverages are expensive for cruise-ship guests – but workers can buy their drinks at cost. “I feel bad accepting a $17 to $20 drink from a guest that would cost me $1.25 in the crew bar,” Alissa explains.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: show your appreciation for a worker by tipping them or purchasing a piece of merchandise. And remember: while you’re on holiday, they’re working, and there are certain lines you shouldn’t cross.</p> <p><strong>Asking personal questions to be friendly</strong></p> <p>It’s easy to get cosy with cruise ship employees. After all, you’re all at sea together for an extended period of time, and it’s their job to make sure you’re happy and comfortable. Since they’re seeing you with your family or hearing about your adventures, it seems rude not to reciprocate and ask them about themselves. While that’s certainly true to a degree, the problem comes when you forget that this is a professional relationship, not a friendship.</p> <p>“Guests ask very personal questions,” says Steve M.*, who’s been a cruise director for more than 15 years. “I am an open book, and I always say, ‘If you are ready for the answer, I will tell you the truth.’ Then you tell the truth and they either take offense or try to change you.” Think: relationships (like, why they aren’t married or chose not to have kids), religion and politics. Just like at the Christmas dinner table, these conversations can get uncomfortable quickly.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: say hello and definitely be cordial, but limit your conversations to casual small talk. And before posing any personal questions, ask yourself this: How would you feel if the tables were turned—especially if you were being asked these questions at work?</p> <p><em>*Steve M. is a pseudonym.</em></p> <p><strong>Going to your stateroom as soon as you board the ship</strong></p> <p>While you might think it’s polite to get out of the way of other passengers during the boarding process by heading straight to your cabin, you’ll actually be in the way of employees if your stateroom isn’t ready. Sometimes, especially on smaller vessels, guests are permitted to board the ship before the rooms have been completely turned over and refreshed from the prior passengers.</p> <p>“If you arrive at your room too early, it slows down the process,” says Steve. “Plus, the crew then must be polite and become engaged with guests, which is not helpful.” And let’s not forget about your luggage, which takes a while to actually get to your room and won’t be there when you are!</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: if you board early, wait until the ship’s personnel announce when the staterooms are ready. (Or board later for less of an issue – and to skip the boarding rush.) While you wait, have lunch at the buffet restaurant, check out the cruise ship’s hidden features or chill out by the pool. Just remember to pack your bathing suit in your carry-on so you have access to it right away!</p> <p><strong>Stacking plates for your sever</strong></p> <p>It seems like stacking the plates would make it easier for your server to pick up dirty dishes, but this can actually cause all sorts of problems. “It really messes up removing the plates, especially if the standard in the restaurant is not to stack plates but take them away one or two at a time,” explains one restaurant employee with a small cruise line. “And it actually makes it more difficult to clear and wash the plates for the dishwashers.”</p> <p>The latter is especially true when the passengers haven’t eaten everything on their plates. This causes an uneven stack, which makes it difficult for the server to carry the stack back to the dishwasher … who also has to deal with a huge mess, since the bottoms of the plates are now covered in goop from the plates above them.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: let the servers do their jobs. They have been trained in the ship’s preferred plate-removal method, and they’ll get those items to the back in the most efficient, least messy way possible.</p> <p><strong>Tipping your server on the restaurant check</strong></p> <p>If you’re dining at a specialty restaurant and you’ve had excellent service, you’ll want to leave a tip. But here’s what you probably don’t realise: “Passengers may think they are generously tipping a crew member by writing in a tip on the receipt, but it sadly doesn’t go to that crew member,” says one server with a large cruise line. “My understanding is that it goes into the ship’s account, and that’s how the ship pays for the ‘gratuities paid for’ incentives you see when you book your trip. It’s kind of distributed between all the crew … and maybe not even that.”</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: “It is way better to tip a crew member directly with cash,” she says. “That way, you are sure that member got the tip you think they deserved – and that you really wanted them to have. [But] the crew are not allowed to tell passengers that.”</p> <p><strong>Complimenting an entertainer's looks or appearance </strong></p> <p>Sure, compliments can be lovely, but they can also be super awkward when they’re from someone you barely know. “A big thing that bothers me is when passengers comment on my looks or my body, thinking it’s polite and a compliment,” explains Madeline D., a production singer on some of the larger cruise ships. “One time I had a guest, who was a repeat cruiser, tell me I looked like I lost weight.”</p> <p>There are many things wrong with a statement like that, starting with the fact that it’s an assumption and an inherent judgement, not to mention a backhanded compliment. It also implies that the guest is staring at her body and looking at it in an inappropriate way. Depending on the situation, it could also border on flirting, which crosses a line too.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: save comments about appearances for friends and family – and honestly, maybe not even that. If you want to say something nice to a performer on the ship, tell them you enjoyed their performance that evening.</p> <p><strong>Telling the piano player how much you're enjoying the song</strong></p> <p>Cruise directors are also singers and entertainers, so they’re interacting with passengers in those roles as well while on board. According to Steve, some passengers love a performance so much that they want to tell the performer right away – even in the middle of said performance. “Guests will come to talk to you in the middle of a song to tell you how much they are enjoying your music, but then it’s sometimes difficult to remember where you were, and you can lose the song,” he says. “While it’s nice that people appreciate your talent, there are other ways of showing it.”</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: wait until the performance is over so you don’t accidentally trip up the performer. You’ll enjoy the song more this way, anyway – and so will your fellow cruisers!</p> <p><strong>Not letting the crew know when there's a problem</strong></p> <p>You may not want to bother employees or say anything negative while on your cruise, but this is a mistake. The crew is there to make sure you have an incredible experience, and they really want to help you make the most of it. Plus, your unhappiness will eventually seep out. “Guests will say they love everything while on board, and then in their survey, they’ll nitpick about very small things, and by the end of the review, they are unhappy,” says Steve.</p> <p><em>Do this instead</em>: if you’re not happy about something, let guest services know as soon as possible. And if you’re not happy with your meal, let the maître d’ know so they can bring you something more satisfactory. Remember: the ship’s staff and crew can’t fix something that they don’t know is wrong; let them know what’s going on, give them a chance to make it right and turn this into the best cruise you’ve ever taken. As mentioned earlier, the guest surveys are taken seriously – and used to determine staffing and pay rates – so it truly doesn’t help anyone when you’re complaining after the fact.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/travel/11-polite-habits-cruise-workers-actually-dislike-and-what-to-do-instead?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Cruising

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20 things even polite people don’t apologise for

<p><strong>How many times a day do you say "sorry"?</strong></p> <p>If you say sorry so often that you can’t remember just how often, it might be time to rethink this habit. “Oftentimes we find ourselves reflexively apologising without really knowing why,” says Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette expert and founder of the Golden Rules Gal. However, this apologetic reflex may be doing you more harm than good. “Research shows that when we keep saying ‘I’m sorry’ it makes us sound weak and less respected by our peers,” she explains, adding that in some situations it may even make you take responsibility for things you shouldn’t. “Instead, try flipping the script to saying ‘thank you’ instead. It’s more positive and makes you appear stronger and in control.”</p> <p>Still, some people may worry that not apologising may be impolite and that it’s better to be safe than sorry when it comes to polite manners. Not so, Grotts says, and to help you figure out the etiquette of apologising we asked experts to share common things people apologise for that they shouldn’t.</p> <p><strong>Taking a sick day</strong></p> <p>Everyone gets sick sometimes. That’s not a failure, it’s a fact of life. Yet too many people fear using their sick days and apologise to their boss and coworkers when they finally do. Apologising for using your sick leave is totally unnecessary and can hurt you in the long run, says Dr Kim Chronister, a clinical psychologist. </p> <p>“You are allowed to have personal downtime as long as it’s not excessive,” she says, adding that this includes mental health days. “Just be matter of fact. No need to spill emotional details at work or make excuses. Simply take a sick day and don’t apologise for it.”</p> <p><strong>Not buying a birthday gift for a friend</strong></p> <p>Buying someone a gift for their special day is a lovely gesture but it shouldn’t be an expectation, especially if you are in a difficult financial situation, Chronister says. “If you can’t afford to buy a gift, there’s no reason to apologise,” she explains. </p> <p>“If they truly love and care about you they will see your presence as the gift.” But just because you aren’t buying them a gift doesn’t mean you can’t give them anything, some of the best gifts are those that don’t cost a cent.</p> <p><strong>Interrupting someone occasionally</strong></p> <p>Interrupting others when they are speaking is a common etiquette mistake and one you should try to curb if it’s a frequent problem. However, we all do it sometimes and you don’t need to derail the conversation with an apology if it’s an accidental faux pas, Chronister says. </p> <p>“It’s okay to interrupt as long as it’s not mal-intended. It’s just about getting your point across and it happens sometimes,” she explains. Another issue is that some people, particularly men, see apologising too often as a weakness so learning to apologise less may help you be seen as more confident and competent, she adds.</p> <p><strong>Saying "no" to being the classroom parent</strong></p> <p>“You should never apologise for saying ‘no’,” Grotts says. You’re allowed to protect your time and other resources, to stand up for yourself, and to have your own opinions—unapologetically.</p> <p><strong>Not knowing the right answer</strong></p> <p>With Google at our fingertips, it may seem like there is no excuse for you to not know something but technology doesn’t have all the answers (and often has the wrong ones) and all of us are in the process of learning, Grotts says. </p> <p>“If you don’t know the answer to something, just say so,” she says. “Instead of apologising, see it as a good opportunity to learn something new.”</p> <p><strong>A partner's table manners</strong></p> <p>“Never apologise for someone else’s behaviour—that’s their job,” Grotts says. While it may be tempting to make apologies for your spouse, it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for another adult’s behaviour and it is not reflective of your own, she says. </p> <p>Even worse, apologising for their bad behaviour may inadvertently get you roped into the situation which will reflect negatively on you, she adds.</p> <p><strong>Stating an opinion on politics</strong></p> <p>Politics, religion and other hot button issues can feel too risky to even broach these days unless you know the other person already shares similar views but staying silent does a great disservice to society by discouraging open discourse and sharing of ideas. </p> <p>“Don’t apologise for having an opinion and for sharing it,” Grotts says. “Even though it may only be your judgement, it’s okay to voice it even if it’s not based on fact. That’s why it’s your opinion!”</p> <p><strong>Not responding immediately to a text</strong></p> <p>Having constant access to phones means that people now expect instant replies to their texts, emails or calls. However, just because they expect it doesn’t mean you need to—and you don’t need to apologise for it, says Robin H-C, behaviourist, life coach, and author of Life’s In Session. </p> <p>This assumes that any text or call should be your top priority but if you respond to every non-urgent issue you’d never get anything else done, she explains. Instead, she recommends replying when you are able, skipping any apology and moving straight to the matter at hand.</p> <p><strong>RSVPing "no" to a party invitation</strong></p> <p>Apologising when saying no to an invitation may feel polite but it is likely not honest, and in the long run, honesty will serve you better, H-C says. “Are you really sorry you can’t go? If you were then you would find a way to make it work,” she says. </p> <p>“Usually people aren’t sorry, they just don’t want to go and apologising is a passive way to avoid telling them that.” It’s fine to say no to invitations without offering an apology or explanation; if it is someone you’d like to see at a different time, then tell them that and make plans to meet up in the future.</p> <p><strong>A spouse's anger</strong></p> <p>Have you ever felt the need to apologise for other people’s feelings? If so, it’s time to take a careful look at your boundaries, especially in relationships, H-C says. “People who were traumatised or bullied as kids often make themselves responsible for the emotional climate of those around them,” she explains. </p> <p>“The truth is, you are not responsible for another adult’s emotions and you should not apologise for them.” If your partner is trying to use their emotions to guilt you into an apology, that’s one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship.</p> <p><strong>A messy house</strong></p> <p>Do you live in fear of a neighbour or friend just “popping in” to say hello because of the state of your home and then find yourself apologising over and over again for the mess when they do? Cut yourself some slack in this area, H-C says. “You’re the one who is living there in the mess, not them,” she says. </p> <p>“Really you’re apologising to them for witnessing how you live, and you shouldn’t need to do that.” Instead, she says the best way to deal with this situation is a little humour—”So I’m thinking about becoming a professional organiser…”</p> <p><strong>When someone goes out of their way to help you</strong></p> <p>Many people say “I’m sorry” when what they really mean is “thank you,” says Amy Rollo, a psychotherapist. For instance, if you go to a full restaurant and the staff works hard to find a space for you, instead of apologising for inconveniencing them, express appreciation for their hard work, she explains. </p> <p>Both you and the other person will feel happier by focusing on the positive aspects of helping others.</p> <p><strong>Going to the store in sweats</strong></p> <p>In an ideal world, we’d all only leave the house once we were perfectly coiffed and put together. Real-life, however, means that people get sick, wake up late, run out of hot water, have a broken washing machine, or have any number of situations that cause them to go out in public looking less than their best. </p> <p>And that’s totally fine, Rollo says. “Don’t apologise for your appearance. If you are tired or stressed, just own that you are not perfect and this is part of you,” she says.</p> <p><strong>Crying during an argument </strong></p> <p>“Emotions should never be apologised for, you are allowed to feel what you feel,” Rollo says. This doesn’t mean you have free reign to meltdown on anyone in your path—how you express your emotions matters—but you don’t need to apologise for simply feeling a certain way. </p> <p>Many people have been trained to think they “shouldn’t” feel sad or upset but negative emotions are a part of human life and you’re allowed to be human.</p> <p><strong>Toddler temper tantrums</strong></p> <p>There isn’t a parent on the planet who hasn’t had a little one cry, scream, or explosively vomit at the most inconvenient time. It’s a necessary, albeit frustrating, part of their development from infants to functioning adults—a fact that more people would do well to remember. </p> <p>So, while you should help manage your child as best as you can, you don’t need to apologise for their outbursts, Rollo says. “Instead of saying you’re sorry, let others know that you understand this is a difficult situation, and you thank them for being patient,” she says.</p> <p><strong>Turning down sex</strong></p> <p>Many people feel they need to apologise for not wanting to have sex and it can cause tension in a relationship says Melanie Gonzalez, a marriage and family therapist. But your sex drive is like any other appetite. Would you apologise for not being hungry? </p> <p>“It’s very normal to not be in the mood sometimes and apologising for that implies that you should always want sex,” she explains. “Man or woman, sometimes you are not in the mood and that should be okay and accepted by your partner without them taking it personally.”</p> <p><strong>A delayed flight</strong></p> <p>“Don’t apologise for things that are out of your control like a delayed flight, bad weather, or illness,” says Dr Amy Ricke, a psychiatrist with Your Doctors Online, adding that these things just happen and most people will be understanding, even if it messes up their plans. </p> <p>“Say something to acknowledge the other person’s disappointment or inconvenience, but do not take responsibility for events or circumstances you have no role in.”</p> <p><strong>Asking a question</strong></p> <p>Apologising before asking a question is very common, especially in women, Dr Ricke says. But not only is this unnecessary it could hurt your career and relationships. “You have the right to get more information or gain clarification, whether it be at home, work, or elsewhere,” she says. </p> <p>“If you feel that you are interrupting or inconveniencing the other person, you can say ‘I have a few questions for you, please let me know when it is a good time to ask’.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/tips/20-things-even-polite-people-dont-apologise-for?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Caring

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Senior bank robber’s unexpectedly polite note

<p>A 78-year-old woman has caused some commotion with her bizarre Missouri bank heist. </p> <p>Bonnie Gooch, who already has two bank robbery convictions to her name, has collected a brand new charge - one count of stealing, or attempting to steal, from a financial institution - for her actions at the Goppert Financial Bank in Pleasant Hill. </p> <p>However, it’s the note that Bonnie had for the bank’s teller that has drawn the most attention around the world, with the senior bank robber allegedly stating that she “didn’t mean to scare” anyone. </p> <p>As <em>The Kansas City Star </em>reported, Bonnie supposedly entered the establishment just after 3pm, ‘disguised’ by her facemask and sunglasses. After approaching the counter, she is said to have handed over a note that demanded “13,000 small bills”, and another that read “thank you sorry I didn’t mean to scare you”.</p> <p>Prosecutors in Cass County said surveillance video from inside of the bank showed Bonnie banging on the counter and demanding that the teller hurry up. </p> <p>Bonnie made her getaway from there, but was ultimately caught by law enforcement officers, who reported that her car smelled of alcohol, and had money spread across its floor. Despite this, she is not facing any alcohol related charges. </p> <p>Pleasant Hill Police Chief Tommy Wright described the incident as “just sad’, and noted that Bonnie - as far as they were aware - had not been diagnosed with any notable ailments.</p> <p>“When officers first approached her, they were kind of confused ... it’s a little old lady who steps out,” he explained. “We weren’t sure initially that we had the right person.”</p> <p>He also noted that in his three decades as a police officer, he had never encountered a robbery suspect of a similar age to Bonnie. </p> <p>But it wasn’t Bonnie’s first rodeo, with Bonnie having been convicted for her actions in California in 1977, and again in another Kansas City suburb in 2020. Her probation for the latter only ended in November 2021. </p> <p>At the time of her 2020 theft, court documents cited by <em>Fox 4 </em>note that Bonnie’s son explained she had left the house “angry” and had declared that she was “going to rob a bank”.</p> <p>She is now being held on a $25,000 USD (~$37,500 AUD) bond at a Cass County detention centre for her 2023 crime. </p> <p>And as Police Chief Tommy Wright also revealed to <em>Fox 4</em>, he and his team were evaluating whether or not Bonnie would require further services as her case progressed through the criminal justice system. </p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p>

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Shooting of Imran Khan takes Pakistan into dangerous political waters

<p>The attempted assassination of Imran Khan on November 3 has ushered Pakistan into another stage of political instability, with increased likelihood of further political violence.</p> <p>Imran <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-63496202" target="_blank" rel="noopener">has accused</a> Pakistan’s Prime Minister, Shehbaz Sharif, Interior Minister Sanaullah Khan and Major General Faisal of masterminding the attack. He has demanded these three be removed from their positions immediately. Failure to act, he <a href="https://twitter.com/PTIofficial/status/1588188079277232128?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1588188079277232128%7Ctwgr%5Ed5b3fd04e3131208521e14afe9946af45900de42%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&amp;ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenews.com.pk%2Flatest%2F1006350-asad-umar-blames" target="_blank" rel="noopener">communicated through Asad Umer</a>, a senior member of his party, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI), would result in demonstrations across the whole country, and “things would not continue as they have been”.</p> <p>The PTI’s Asad Umer said that two days ago, he had contacted Imran regarding threats to his safety. But Imran had stated: “We are engaged in jihad and we only need to trust Allah at this stage.” Building on this equivalence of the so-called “long march” with “jihad”, the PTI issued a <a href="https://twitter.com/Asad_Umar/status/1588399510614839296?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1588399510614839296%7Ctwgr%5E409bdb0bd9b63211810994ae51e1b298768da215%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&amp;ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenews.com.pk%2Flatest%2F1006554-live-updates-day-8-pti-long-march-imran-khan-firing" target="_blank" rel="noopener">call for demonstrations</a> to start after Friday prayers on November 4.</p> <p>The Pakistan government <a href="https://www.thenews.com.pk/print/1006384-attack-on-imran-widely-condemned" target="_blank" rel="noopener">has responded</a> by condemning the assassination attempt. But <a href="https://www.thenews.com.pk/print/1006384-attack-on-imran-widely-condemned" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Minister Rana Sanaullah also told the PTI</a>: “It is [a] law of nature: those who ignite fire may also burn in it.” The national government has also demanded “the Punjab government constitute a Joint Investigation Team (JIT) to investigate the attack”.</p> <p>Others have raised questions about the security extended to the former prime minister in the province of Punjab, where a PTI government is in power.</p> <p>Conspiracy theories about the shooting also abound, including claims on social media that the attack was <a href="https://twitter.com/younus_bhoon/status/1588399845307711488?s=20&amp;t=8c-lFy8oci8NGVAhcmNxxw" target="_blank" rel="noopener">orchestrated by PTI</a> to boost support for Imran. Only a few days ago, the former international cricketer turned politician had launched a second march within five months for haqiqi azadi (real freedom). Others accuse “external powers” of fomenting instability in the wake of Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif’s <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/11/2/xi-jinping-assures-pakistani-pm-of-china-support" target="_blank" rel="noopener">visit to China</a>, where he met President Xi Jinping and revived the momentum for the China-Pakistan Economic Corridor (CPEC).</p> <p>Then there is the <a href="https://www.24newshd.tv/03-Nov-2022/attacker-says-was-angry-because-music-was-being-run-during-prayer-call" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reported admission</a> by the alleged assassin that he was motivated by religious fervour, as Imran’s march would not cease playing music even during the calls to prayer. Reminiscent of the grounds on which Mumtaz Qadri <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35684452" target="_blank" rel="noopener">assassinated</a> the then governor of Punjab Salman Taseer, this explanation, with all its inconsistencies, locates the attempt outside the scope of political machinations.</p> <p>The reaction among Imran’s supporters has been swift. There have been demonstrations in all provinces of the country, with people <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFtMyPEJZYQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">chanting the attack</a> had “crossed the red line” and they would lay their lives for Imran. This outpouring of support for Imran and anger towards the government has catapulted the country into increased instability, with the future now very uncertain.</p> <p>In the past, the instability might have been reined in by the Pakistan military, which has traditionally acted as custodian of law and order in the country. During the 75 years of Pakistan’s existence, the military has intervened directly or indirectly in politics when the country experienced instability. Even if its intervention was not approved of, politicians and society generally remained complacent and managed to work withing the framework outlined by the military.</p> <p>But in contemporary Pakistan, given the extent of political and social polarisation that has descended to a level not witnessed in the country’s history, the military may not be able to play this role. Already, Chief of Army Staff Qamar Javed Bajwa has claimed the <a href="https://www.news18.com/news/world/pakistan-army-chief-general-bajwa-to-retire-in-5-weeks-top-3-names-here-exclusive-6215221.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">military would remain neutral</a>.</p> <p>Even if instability persists and the military decided to intervene, the reaction of Imran’s supporters would be very different from how people reacted to previous military interventions. The assassination attempt on Imran has removed a lot of self-imposed censorship by people.</p> <p>While people demonstrated outside the office of the Corps Commander of Peshawar, others have been recorded chanting that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ga_22EwLXKg" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the uniform is behind acts of terrorism and hooliganism</a>. In the past, such comments were only openly made by Pashtoon Tahhafuz Movement (movement for the protection of Pashtoons).</p> <p>But now, such comments also allude to the <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-63372440" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recent killing</a> in Kenya of Pakistani journalist Ashraf Sharif, who had been a vocal critic of the military’s involvement in politics. It has been claimed the killing was orchestrated with the direct involvement of the military — a claim that prompted the director-general of Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI) to give a press conference refuting these claims.</p> <p>Such expressions of anger and open opposition to the military leadership would suggest the military would avoid direct interference. One possible avenue could be of imposing <a href="https://www.geo.tv/latest/430050-explainer-what-is-governors-rule-and-is-punjab-moving-towards-it" target="_blank" rel="noopener">governor rule</a> in Punjab and Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, but even that is unlikely to tamper the anger being felt by Imran’s supporters.</p> <p>Pakistan is fast moving into uncharted political terrain.</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/shooting-of-imran-khan-takes-pakistan-into-dangerous-political-waters-193937" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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Shehan Karunatilaka wins Booker prize for Sri Lankan political satire, The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida

<p>Sri Lankan novelist Shehan Karunatilaka has won the 2022 Booker Prize for his second novel, The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida.</p> <p>The win couldn’t come at a better time for Sri Lanka, a country once more engaged in <a href="https://foreignpolicy.com/2022/10/06/sri-lanka-economic-crisis-protests-imf/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">political and economic instability</a>, as it suffers through one of the world’s worst economic crises, with soaring inflation, food and fuel shortages, and low supplies of foreign reserves. And of course, the government was overthrown in July, after President Gotabaya Rajapaksa fled following mass protests.</p> <p>Karunatilaka said in his acceptance speech:</p> <blockquote> <p>My hope for Seven Moons is this; that in the not-too-distant future, 10 years, as long as it takes, Sri Lanka […] has understood that these ideas of corruption and race-baiting and cronyism have not worked and will never work.</p> </blockquote> <h2>Political black comedy</h2> <p>Karunatilaka’s novel is extraordinary – and hard to pin down. It is at once a black comedy about the afterlife, a murder mystery whodunit, and a political satire set against the violent backdrop of the late-1980s Sri Lankan civil war. It is also a story of love and redemption.</p> <p>Malinda “Maali” Kabalana, a closeted war photographer, wakes up dead in what seems to be a celestial waiting room. The setting will be familiar to many who’ve spent time in Colombo (as I have – it’s where my husband’s family is from). We open in a busy, bureaucratic office, filled with confusion, noise, a propensity against queuing – and a healthy dose of “gallows” humour. In other words, Maali is in some sort of purgatory.</p> <p>Maali soon discovers he has seven days – seven moons – to solve his own murder. This isn’t easy – he is interrupted by sardonic ghosts (often with grudges, questionable motives, and a tendency towards extreme chattiness), the violent reality of war-torn Colombo, and piecing together his memories of who he was.</p> <p>He also has seven moons to lead his official girlfriend and his secret boyfriend to a cache of photographs, taken over time, which document the horror of the war – and incriminate local and foreign governments.</p> <p>Karunatilaka’s subject matter and plot highlight, question and explore Sri Lanka’s legacy – and its continued, difficult relationship with its civil war, which spanned 1983 to 2009, though the reverberations continue. And his novel’s provocative, intimate, second-person style implicates us – the readers.</p> <p>Karunatilaka has mastered his craft as a novelist. He never once wavers from a second-person perspective that might be unwieldy (perhaps even gimmicky) in a lesser writer’s hands. The novel tells us, “Don’t try and look for the good guys, ‘cause there ain’t none”.</p> <p>It realises a combined responsibility for the tragedy of that 25-year civil war, in which the country’s colonial history is also implicated. British colonialists brought Tamil workers from South India to Sri Lanka, to work as indentured labourers on their coffee, tea and rubber plantations. Their descendants’ fight for an independent Tamil state was a strong component of the civil war.</p> <h2>Diffusing violence with humour</h2> <p>As a novelist and lover of second-person narration and a long-time follower of Karuntailaka’s accomplished work, I couldn’t be more delighted by this Booker win.</p> <p>I first came across Karunatilaka through his debut novel, <a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/chinaman-9780099555681" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Chinaman</a>, which was handed to me by my sister-in-law several years ago on a family visit to Colombo. That book taught me about cricket, but it also taught me the sardonic brilliance of Sri Lankan humour.</p> <p>Karunatilaka once again uses humour to great effect in The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida – to diffuse confronting moments of violence, to engage his reader, and for pure enjoyment. This novel follows a murder victim through a bloody civil war – and it’s laugh-out-loud funny.</p> <p>It’s also a tighter, more focused book than Chinaman: here is an author in control of his craft and what he wants to say with it. The Booker judges, too, praised the “scope and the skill, the daring, the audacity and hilarity” of the book.</p> <p>Karunatilaka’s winning novel took time to write. Ten years have passed since Chinaman. His skilful use of craft to tell this complicated story is testament to the idea that good books take the time they need: something that all authors know but publishers are not always willing to accept. However, Karunatilaka has been busy in that ten years, not just writing literary fiction, but writing for children – and having a family. The 47-year-old is now married with two kids.</p> <p>Karunatilaka is only the second Sri Lankan novelist to have won the Booker Prize. (The first was Michael Ondaatje in 1992 for The English Patient.) But last year, his countryman Anuk Arudpragasam was also <a href="https://thebookerprizes.com/the-booker-library/authors/anuk-arudpragasam" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shortlisted</a>, for <a href="https://www.allenandunwin.com/browse/book/Anuk-Arudpragasam-Passage-North-9781783786961" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Passage North</a>, another accomplished novel set in the aftermath of the civil war.</p> <p>I’m excited by what this means for Sri Lankan authors and the Sri Lankan publishing scene. Here is a country with stories to tell and enormous skill to tell them with: let’s hope this leads to more Sri Lankan novels achieving wide readership, success and deserved acclaim.</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/shehan-karunatilaka-wins-booker-prize-for-sri-lankan-political-satire-the-seven-moons-of-maali-almeida-192722" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Image: thebookerprizes.com</em></p>

Books

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Solemnity and celebration: how political cartoonists have handled the death of a monarch, from Victoria to Elizabeth II

<p>It sounds very familiar – a well-respected monarch dies, and a radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist struggles to find the right tone to commemorate the event. </p> <p>He is torn between his distaste for what he sees as the archaic, pre-modern institution of monarchy, and the undoubted personal quality of the late incumbent. </p> <p>More used to poking fun at the great and good, or attacking governments for their weak-willed or wrong-headed policies, changing tone to reverence and respect is difficult. </p> <p>But in the end, he manages to strike a very good balance and produce a memorable cartoon.</p> <p>The well-respected monarch was George VI; the radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Low_(cartoonist)">David Low</a>; and the year was 1952. With <a href="https://archive.cartoons.ac.uk/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&amp;id=LSE8008">From One Man to Another</a>, Low not only conveyed his own respects, man-to-man, but imagined also the British workman, his hat in his hand and sleeves rolled-up, casting a humble bunch of flowers towards a mighty tombstone labelled “The Gentlest of the Georges”. </p> <p>This was an expression of democratic – even socialist – sensibility, in an age when monarchy seemed, to many, to be increasingly out-of-step with the advance of modernity and the inexorable march of post-war history.</p> <p>Low was compelled to look back, not forward, conscious he had an historic role to fulfil in commemorating the passing of the king who had embodied so much of the stolid, British pluck and humility during the second world war. </p> <p>He reflected <a href="https://archive.org/details/lowsautobiograph017633mbp/page/n225/mode/2up">in his 1956 autobiography</a> that he hated the old-fashioned, “The Nation Mourns”-style of Victorian cartoon, but it was to that set of images and traditions that he turned.</p> <h2>A long lineage</h2> <p>Cartoonists have had to do something similar in 2022, with the death of Queen Elizabeth II. </p> <p>In the United Kingdom, the likes of <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/peter-brookes-times-cartoon-september-9-2022-vzfhf606t">Peter Brookes</a>, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2022/sep/08/ben-jennings-on-the-death-of-the-queen-cartoon">Ben Jennings</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489">Christian Adams</a> have all been conscious of the need for solemnity, as well as celebration.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="cy"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabethII?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/queen?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#queen</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Queen?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Queen</a> Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Rest?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Rest</a> In Peace <a href="https://twitter.com/EveningStandard?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@EveningStandard</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/cartoon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#cartoon</a> <a href="https://t.co/bzEcwRlaEb">pic.twitter.com/bzEcwRlaEb</a></p> <p>— Christian Adams (@Adamstoon1) <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p>Across the world, cartoonists have had to struggle with much the same thing, and some favoured themes are already apparent: <a href="https://www.electriccitymagazine.ca/touching-cartoon-salute-depicting-the-queen-reuniting-with-prince-philip-and-paddington-bear/">Elizabeth reunited</a> with her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, or troops of <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433">sad corgis</a>; the Union Flag with an Elizabeth II-shaped hole at the centre; or a tube train with a sole occupant heading into a blaze of light at the end of the tunnel.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="cy">9/9/2022- Queen Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Elizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Elizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ElizabethII?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeace?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeace</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm">https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm</a> <a href="https://t.co/wg7B9k7WSW">pic.twitter.com/wg7B9k7WSW</a></p> <p>— Clay Bennett (@BennettCartoons) <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p>All of these images speak to the style and the visual language of today, but also share a lineage several centuries old. </p> <h2>A bereaved widow, again</h2> <p>Nobody would have thought to depict Queen Victoria’s death in 1901 with her travelling to heaven by tube, although the Underground seems emblematic of her age (London’s first underground railway was <a href="https://tfl.gov.uk/corporate/about-tfl/culture-and-heritage/londons-transport-a-history/london-underground/a-brief-history-of-the-underground">opened in January 1863</a>, 26 years into Victoria’s reign). </p> <p>There were no sad corgis (that breed only became associated with the Royal Family <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-09-12/queen-elizabeth-ii-loved-corgi-dogs-throughout-her-life/101428106">from the 1930s</a>), but a downcast British Lion was imagined by Francis Carruthers Gould in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fun_(magazine)">Fun</a>.</p> <p>The theme of a bereaved widow finally reunited with her spouse is clearly a parallel (Albert, the Prince Consort had died in 1861). So too is the very idea that a cartoonist should commemorate the event – something unthinkable when William IV died in 1837, or so much so when George IV died in 1830 that a well-known cartoonist <a href="https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/P_1882-1209-677">never published his draft sketch</a>.</p> <p>The sheer immensity of the loss of Victoria called for some pretty special treatment, at a time when cartooning was a lot more formal and respectable than it is today. </p> <p>It preoccupied several days’ work for Linley Sambourne, chief cartoonist of London’s <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_(magazine)">Punch</a> (for a while, a magazine that was almost as much a British institution as the monarchy).</p> <p>Requiescat was huge: a double-page spread in sombre black-and-white, depicting a gaggle of goddesses in mourning for their lost monarch. </p> <p>Allegorical female figures representing countries were all the rage in Victorian and Edwardian cartooning (something David Low also hated and thought was “moth-eaten” by the time he was at his peak). </p> <p>England, Scotland, Wales, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and India were all included by Sambourne. </p> <p>Just one goddess was enough for his junior colleague, Bernard Partridge, who imagined <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clio">Clio</a> – History herself – adding the name of Victoria to the roll of great monarchs.</p> <p>It was the same when Victoria’s son and heir, Edward VII, died in May, 1910. </p> <p>Bernard Partridge went with just two figures, rather than a whole host, imagining a weeping Britannia seated before the empty Coronation Chair, an angel of peace reaching out to touch her shoulder.</p> <p>This was designed to express “an empire’s grief” in terms even more explicit than Sambourne had done with Victoria, but the imagery was very British; even domestic. </p> <p>Minus the caption, it could almost be recycled in 2022 - crucially, the monarch does not actually appear. So too, Partridge’s offering in January 1936, when George V died (apparently by the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/29/king-george-v-was-murdered-not-euthanised">hand of his doctor</a>).</p> <p>Britannia tolling a bell from a medieval bell-tower, with a fog-laden London skyline in the background. Clear the fog, add a Gherkin and a Shard, and the effect would be much the same.</p> <p>While David Low struggled against the Victorian style of memorial cartoon, it is still very much with us. As so often, cartoons can encapsulate a whole host of feelings that mere words can’t express.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Twitter @toonsbystellina</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/solemnity-and-celebration-how-political-cartoonists-have-handled-the-death-of-a-monarch-from-victoria-to-elizabeth-ii-190338" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Art

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Claims political parties are illegal deemed “obvious nonsense”

<p dir="ltr">The leader of the unregistered AustraliaOne Party has claimed that political parties are actually illegal under the Australian constitution - but experts have hit back, declaring his claims as false and “obvious nonsense”.</p> <p dir="ltr">In a video interview shared on Facebook and YouTube, Riccardo Bosi makes the claim that “parties are actually illegal under the constitution”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Just because we have it doesn’t mean it’s legal… The constitution actually says you must direct the elector - that’s you, don’t call yourself a voter, call yourself an elector - the elector must directly elect their representative,” he says at around the four-minute mark of the nearly two-hour-long <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcNiPDmSymQ&amp;ab_channel=NUNN2K" target="_blank" rel="noopener">video</a>.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-2d78716f-7fff-296d-29cb-77ce4be09961"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“Now, when you put a party in there, it has interposed itself between the elector and the representative, which is unconstitutional.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/06/politics-whacko1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Riccardo Bosi (right) says that political parties are unconstitutional in Australia. Image: YouTube</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Experts have since weighed in, with Professor Graeme Orr, an expert in electoral law at the University of Queensland, telling <em><a href="https://www.aap.com.au/factcheck/party-on-constitution-claim-judged-as-utter-nonsense/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">AAP FactCheck</a></em> that Mr Bosi’s claims were “obvious nonsense at many levels”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The claim that political parties are illegal under the Australian Constitution is false,” Dr Ben Saunders, an associate professor at Deakin Law School, said, adding that “the constitution does not attempt to prohibit the existence of political parties in any way”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Professor Orr explained that Mr Bosi’s argument that “the elector must directly elect their representative” also has no bearing on whether political parties exist and that it refers to having elections.</p> <p dir="ltr">“‘Directly’ chosen simply means there must be an election with the names of possible MPs on the ballot,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Bosi’s claims come after he unsuccessfully stood for the seat of Greenway in western Sydney during May’s federal election, receiving just <a href="https://tallyroom.aec.gov.au/HouseDivisionPage-27966-122.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">3.25 percent</a> of votes.</p> <p dir="ltr">Under Section 15 of the constitution, which is the only part to explicitly mention political parties, it notes that if a senator leaves a vacancy and “he was publicly recognised by a particular political party as being an endorsed candidate of that party”, the person who fills that vacancy “shall… be a member of that party”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Citing this section, Professor Anne Twomey, a professor of constitutional law at the University of Sydney, told <em>AAP </em>it is “implausible to argue that political parties are illegal under the constitution”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Even Australia’s first Prime Minister, Edmund Barton, was a member of a political party called the Protectionist Party.</p> <p dir="ltr">Dr Saunders added: “Far from being illegal, the existence of parties was in fact a key assumption upon which our constitution was built.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7cdd6b56-7fff-6547-4036-195040c6abd7"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Legal

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Neighbours star launches new political career

<p>Former <em>Neighbours</em> actor Madeleine West has shared an unusual career move. </p> <p>The mother-of-six recently launched a political campaign, that will see her run in the 2023 NSW state election for her local seat of Ballina as an independent. </p> <p>Madeleine kicked off her campaign with an appearance on <em>The Project</em> to explain what prompted such a radical change. </p> <p>“I’m running for state, so let's not confuse the issue; it is not about the federal campaign, but I believe that politics is for the people and it’s about being the voice of the people,” she said.</p> <p>Ms West raised concern over “a huge disconnect between the haves and have-nots” in the exclusive seat of Ballina, which encompasses the Byron Bay Area.</p> <p>“My area is beautiful, we see it on Instagram and everyone celebrates it as a tourist destination, but the reality is the people serving the coffees and cleaning up the Airbnbs can’t afford to live in the Shire any more,” she said.</p> <p>“I’m lucky to have a national platform, yes, but I think that makes me uniquely qualified to bring a spotlight on local issues because what we’ve been through realistically is a microcosm that the rest of Australia can expect to experience,” Ms West said.</p> <p>Madeleine West became a household name over 20 years ago when she started playing Dee Bliss on <em>Neighbours</em>. </p> <p>She played the role for three years, before coming back for another three year stint in 2017. </p> <p>More recently, the 41-year-old has taken an active role in reforestation projects, while also helping in flood clean up efforts. </p> <p>She said being a politician came down to being accountable and genuinely caring about the community – including the “community” of Australia. </p> <div id="indie-campaign-gjlHkw5w3ytYFCUrwpez-0" data-campaign-name="NCA NATIONAL Politics Newsletter OneClick SignUp" data-campaign-indie="newsletter-signup" data-jira="TSN-40" data-from="1628604000000" data-to="1885298400000"></div> <p>“I’ve been agitating for change for a very long time in a lot of different philanthropic spheres and now I want to be the change that I want to see,” she said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Ten / Instagram</em></p>

TV

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The political history of dubbing in films

<p>English-speaking audiences rarely come across dubbed films and television programmes. This probably explains why they tend to find dubbing so, well, weird. Dubbed voices usually sound a bit flat and never quite sync up with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjBJZPJtD3w">the mouths we see onscreen</a>. This can be off-putting and perhaps even a bit unsettling. </p> <p>But since the birth of sound cinema in the late 1920s and 1930s, dubbing has been commonplace in many countries, including (looking just at Europe) <a href="https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/dubbing-map">Italy, Spain and Germany</a>. Dubbing is still used in many of these countries as a way of translating <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21523643">foreign films and television</a>. In Italy, the dubbing system became so developed in the 1930s that it was even used to add voices to Italian films, right up until the 1980s when the growth of TV (which used directly recorded sound) led to changes in standard industry practice. </p> <p>So why did such a seemingly bizarre practice gain a foothold in these countries’ burgeoning film industries? After all, aren’t subtitles a better way to <a href="https://www.indiewire.com/2020/02/subtitles-vs-dubbing-what-you-need-to-know-1202212800/">keep the original film intact</a> and translate it at the same time? There are a few reasons.</p> <h2>Nationalist voices</h2> <p>In the early 20th century, much of Europe’s film-going population had low literacy levels. Subtitles are useless if you can’t read them (or read them fast enough). There’s also the argument that subtitles ruin a film’s images and keep the viewer’s eyes glued to the bottom of the screen. However, perhaps the most important reason for dubbing’s favour was political.</p> <p>Dubbing is a brilliant tool for film censorship. Sound films began to appear in the early 1930s, a time when many countries were falling under the sway of totalitarian regimes. In Europe, these included those of Benito Mussolini, Francisco Franco and the Nazis. Censorship had been a feature of film production and distribution in Italy, Spain and Germany since before these dictatorships took power, but it increased markedly after they did so.</p> <p>Italy and Spain, in particular, found dubbing ideologically useful. Mussolini’s Fascists, for example, manipulated foreign films <a href="https://jbilocalization.com/italian-dubbing-growing-industry/">during the dubbing process</a> by changing dialogue to remove any unflattering reference to Italy or Italians. They also used dubbing to alter morally undesirable elements of film plots. For example, the Italian dub of the 1931 American film <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0022137/">Men in Her Life</a> was altered to <a href="https://www.erudit.org/en/journals/meta/1900-v1-n1-meta0432/1013946ar/">remove a reference to Mussolini</a>. </p> <p>Perhaps even more nefariously, they also insisted that films be dubbed into standardised national Italian (the official form of the language that was generally understood around the country). This was an effort to stop people in different regions from speaking local dialects and minority languages, and to prevent foreign words from entering Italian culture. Dubbing became a key nationalist tool that could unify and isolate Italy at a fundamental socio-cultural level.</p> <p>The same story played out <a href="https://theculturetrip.com/europe/spain/articles/spanish-cinema-why-all-the-dubbing/">in Franco’s Spain</a> where dubbing kept films ideologically acceptable and marginalised minority languages like Catalan, Basque and Galician. In post-Nazi Germany, dubbing was used to alter film dialogue to play down references to the country’s Nazi past and the atrocities it entailed. For example, the Nazis in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1946 <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhMyp8ZvjWs&amp;ab_channel=BFI">Notorious</a> were <a href="https://www.goethe.de/en/kul/flm/20894148.html">rebranded as generic drug smugglers</a>.</p> <h2>International voices?</h2> <p>In the post-second world war period, western Europe (with the exception of Spain) broke free of totalitarianism and literacy began to increase, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1992/12/18/style/IHT-when-in-rome-dont-trust-actors-voices.html">but dubbing remained</a>. This was partly because it had become an established and familiar habit. But dubbing had also become vital to the system of co-production, which European cinema was increasingly reliant upon. Co-production basically involved two (or more) production companies in different countries teaming up and <a href="http://www.filmreference.com/encyclopedia/Academy-Awards-Crime-Films/Co-productions-THE-POSTWAR-ERA.html">making a film together</a>. It was popular with producers as it meant they could pool resources and access grants and tax relief from multiple governments.</p> <p>Like censorship, co-production had been around since the early days of commercial cinema. It was (and still is) a key initiative that allowed relatively small European countries to team up and push back against the ever-growing domination of Hollywood imports. Again, dubbing was crucial here as these co-produced films usually featured casts from several countries. </p> <p>Dubbing meant that each actor could act in the language of their choosing on-set (if you watch an old dubbed film closely, you can often tell that actors are speaking different languages. Sergio Leone’s The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a clear example of this practice). The films were shot without sound and a range of different dubs in different languages were produced in post-production, using various teams of voice actors.</p> <p>Many film directors <a href="http://landscapesuicide.blogspot.com/2010/07/realisms-8-or-everything-was-lost-in.html">hated this system</a>, seeing dubbing as a way of erasing films’ national origins. And some claimed it was part of a wider political drive to homogenise Europe (NATO and the Common Market were also driving European integration at this time). In other words, totalitarianism may have waned, but for many dubbing was still a political tool.</p> <p>Dubbing is still used as a key method of audio-visual translation in many countries and it still attracts politicised debates. For example, the film market in French-speaking Canada has argued that dubs produced in European French are <a href="https://montrealgazette.com/entertainment/arts/kevin-tierney-quebec-movies-have-a-dubbing-problem">not appropriate for that territory</a>. Dubbing frequently and unsurprisingly ends up at the centre of debates around the politics of language and cultural imperialism, the imposition of one country’s culture onto another country or people.</p> <p>What the political history of dubbing tells us is that even seemingly minor, technical or banal elements of film and television production can serve very concrete and significant political ends. In a world increasingly saturated with audio-visual media, we should take this lesson seriously.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared in <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-political-history-of-dubbing-in-films-164136" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</em></p>

Movies

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Australia’s most polite city has been named

<p dir="ltr">If you’ve ever wondered where the polite people of Australia live, ridesharing behemoth Uber has your answer: they’re on the country’s east coast, in Newcastle.</p> <p dir="ltr">According to <a href="https://travel.nine.com.au/latest/newcastle-revealed-as-most-polite-city-in-australia/f66741f6-f36c-44f1-9233-e62e3e0ab1d9" target="_blank" rel="noopener">new data</a> on the average ratings Uber riders leave for their drivers, Newcastle had an average rating of 4.9 out of a maximum score of five - the highest in the country - which makes it the most polite city.</p> <p dir="ltr">Coming in just behind, the tropical city of Cairns scored an average rating of 4.89 and tied with Wollongong.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Gold Coast followed in fourth place with a score of 4.88, nosing out the Sunshine Coast’s score of 4.87.</p> <p dir="ltr">Sixth and seventh place were taken out by cities on opposite sides of the country, with Darwin and Hobart earning a score of 4.86 and 4.87 respectively.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though Sydney failed to make the top five, it did make it into the top ten, tying with Launceston and Geelong with a rating of 4.84.</p> <p dir="ltr">Adelaide came next, followed by Canberra and Brisbane with an equal rating of 4.82.</p> <p dir="ltr">The second lowest rating came from Melbourne, with a rating of 4.80.</p> <p dir="ltr">Rounding out the bottom of the list - making it the least polite city in the country - was Perth, with an average rating of 4.79.</p> <p dir="ltr">The release of the new data marks the <a href="https://www.uber.com/en-AU/newsroom/rider-ratings-breakdown/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">launch</a> of Uber’s new Privacy Centre, which also allows users to see a breakdown of their scores as drivers and riders.</p> <p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"><em>Image: @city.newcastle.au (Instagram)</em><span id="docs-internal-guid-f5eaecab-7fff-9cef-5401-363db171506a"></span></p>

Domestic Travel

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Etiquette rules we never should have abandoned

<p><strong>Good manners never go out of style</strong></p> <p>Good manners evolve, but they never go out of style. If you’re skipping these social niceties, your manners may need a makeover.</p> <p><strong>RSVPing in a timely manner</strong></p> <p>Maybe it’s because people receive so many invitations or perhaps it’s because invites have become so casual, often sent via email or social media, but the fact is that RSVPing has become as rare as men removing their hats indoors. While the hat issue isn’t a big deal anymore, failing to respond to an invite is not just a breach of good etiquette but a breach of basic humanity, says etiquette expert and author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life, Diane Gottsman. “People need to buy food, plan entertainment, and other things that take significant cost and time,” she says. “Not RSVPing or waiting until the last minute makes the host’s job infinitely harder.”</p> <p><strong>Taking off your sunglasses indoors</strong></p> <p>Go anywhere these days and you’re likely to see a variety of shaded eyes, even in indoor venues. Is everyone nursing a hangover, or is it just one more sign of our avoidance of others? “Unless you’re an A-list celebrity, don’t be shady: remove your sunglasses when greeting someone,” says etiquette expert and author of <em>A Traveler’s Passport to Etiquette</em>, Lisa Grotts. “Without eye contact, you can’t communicate properly, and looking at someone when they’re speaking increases understanding and shows respect.” If you’re outdoors, it’s fine to put your sunglasses on after you’ve greeted the person, but skip the shades when you’re indoors.</p> <p><strong>Returning phone calls</strong></p> <p>Etiquette changes with the times and technology has forced some interesting compromises in this area, but not all of them are good. Take, for instance, the common practice of returning a phone call with a text. “Many people don’t like to talk on the phone and feel it is an inconvenience, but if someone has made the effort to call you, it is polite to call them back – with an actual phone call,” Gottsman says. “It’s easier to hear context, and complicated or sensitive information can be shared better via voice.”</p> <p><strong>Waiting in line</strong></p> <p>Who isn’t in a hurry these days? Yet too many people feel like they’re entitled to special treatment and, as a result, they skip basic kindergarten-level niceties, like waiting in line and taking turns. Being late or impatient doesn’t mean you’re special and you get to cut to the front of the line, Grotts says. Ironically, people who jump the queue are often the ones who get the most upset when others take a shortcut. The bottom line about queues: treat others the way you’d like to be treated.</p> <p><strong>Holding the lift</strong></p> <p>Too many people have developed an unfortunate wariness of strangers or have an attitude of ‘not my problem’ when they see someone else struggling in public. However, as long as safety isn’t an issue, you should still adhere to basic niceties, like holding the lift door for someone running down the hall, Gottsman says. “Many of us don’t even realise someone needs help because we’re looking at our phones,” she explains. “You should try to be mindful of others around you.”</p> <p><strong>Being on time</strong></p> <p>Punctuality is a seriously underrated skill in today’s society. Even as things get more efficient and technology gets more accurate, it seems that we humans are finding more and more reasons to be late. This is very disrespectful, Grotts says. “When you are late, it says that your time is more important than everyone else’s.”</p> <p><em>Written by <span>Charlotte Hilton Andersen</span>. This article first appeared in </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/14-etiquette-rules-we-should-never-have-abandoned" target="_blank"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a rel="noopener" href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRN93V" target="_blank"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></p> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

Caring

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Facebook is tilting the political playing field more than ever and it’s no accident

<p>As the US presidential election polling day draws close, it’s worth recapping what we know about how Facebook has been used to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3834737/">influence election results</a>.</p> <p>The platform is optimised for boosting politically conservative voices calling for <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/10/26/facebook-algorithm-conservative-liberal-extremes/">fascism, separatism and xenophobia</a>. It’s also these voices that tend to generate <a href="https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/radical-ideas-social-media-algorithms/">the most clicks</a>.</p> <p>In recent years, Facebook has on several occasions been made to choose between keeping to its <a href="https://www.facebook.com/communitystandards/introduction">community standards</a> or taking a path that avoids the ire of conservatives. Too many times, it has chosen the latter.</p> <p>The result has been an onslaught of divisive rhetoric that continues to flood the platform and drive political polarisation in society.</p> <p><strong>How democracy can be subverted online</strong></p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/20/us/politics/russian-interference-trump-democrats.html">The New York Times</a>, earlier this year US intelligence officials warned Russia was interfering in the 2020 presidential campaign, with the goal of seeing President Donald Trump re-elected.</p> <p>This was corroborated by <a href="https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/new-evidence-shows-how-russias-election-interference-has-gotten-more">findings</a> from the US Brennan Centre for Justice. A research team led by journalism and communications professor Young Mie Kim identified a range of Facebook troll accounts deliberately sowing division “by targeting both the left and right, with posts to foment outrage, fear and hostility”.</p> <p>Most were linked to Russia’s Internet Research Agency (IRA), <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-russia-sanctions/u-s-blacklists-individuals-entities-linked-to-leader-of-russias-ira-idUSKCN26E2HO">the company</a> also behind a 2016 US election influence campaign. Kim <a href="https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/new-evidence-shows-how-russias-election-interference-has-gotten-more">wrote</a> the troll accounts seemed to discourage certain people from voting, with a focus on swing states.</p> <p>This month, Facebook <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/technology/facebook-qanon-crackdown.html">announced</a> a ban (across both Facebook and Instagram, which Facebook owns) on groups and pages devoted to the far-right conspiracy group QAnon. It also <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-takes-down-network-tied-to-conservative-group-citing-fake-accounts-11602174088">removed</a> a network of fake accounts linked to a conservative US political youth group, for violating rules against “coordinated inauthentic behavior”.</p> <p>However, despite Facebook’s <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/facebooks-latest-fix-for-fake-news-ask-users-what-they-trust/">repeated promises</a> to clamp down harder on such behaviour — and <a href="https://theconversation.com/facebook-is-removing-qanon-pages-and-groups-from-its-sites-but-critical-thinking-is-still-the-best-way-to-fight-conspiracy-theories-147668">occasional</a> efforts to actually do so — the company has been <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/samantha-power-facebook-reduce-spread-misinformation/2020/10/23/d54c1bda-1496-11eb-bc10-40b25382f1be_story.html">widely</a> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/oct/14/facebook-greatest-source-of-covid-19-disinformation-journalists-say">criticised</a> for doing far too little to curb the spread of disinformation, misinformation and election meddling.</p> <p>According to a <a href="https://comprop.oii.ox.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/93/2019/09/CyberTroop-Report19.pdf">University of Oxford study</a>, 70 countries (including Australia) practised either foreign or domestic election meddling in 2019. This was up from 48 in 2018 and 28 in 2017. The study said Facebook was “the platform of choice” for this.</p> <p>The Conversation approached Facebook for comment regarding the platform’s use by political actors to influence elections, including past US elections. A Facebook spokesperson said:</p> <p><em>We’ve hired experts, built teams with experience across different areas, and created new products, policies and partnerships to ensure we’re ready for the unique challenges of the US election.</em></p> <p><strong>When Facebook favoured one side</strong></p> <p>Facebook has drawn widespread criticism for its failure to remove posts that clearly violate its policies on hate speech, including <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/06/28/facebook-zuckerberg-trump-hate/">posts</a> by Trump himself.</p> <p>The company openly <a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2019/09/elections-and-political-speech/">exempts</a> politicians from its fact-checking program and knowingly hosts misleading content from politicians, under its “newsworthiness exception”.</p> <p>When Facebook tried to clamp down on misinformation in the aftermath of the 2016 presidential elections, <a href="https://www.bushcenter.org/people/joel-kaplan.html">ex-Republican staffer</a> turned Facebook executive Joel Kaplan argued doing so would disproportionately target conservatives, the Washington Post <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2020/02/20/facebook-republican-shift/">reported</a>.</p> <p>The Conversation asked Facebook whether Kaplan’s past political affiliations indicated a potential for conservative bias in his current role. The question wasn’t answered.</p> <p>Facebook’s board also now features a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/technology/peter-thiel-donald-j-trump.html">major Trump donor</a> and vocal supporter, Peter Thiel. Facebook’s chief executive Mark Zuckerberg has himself been accused of <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/21/business/media/facebook-donald-trump-mark-zuckerberg.html">getting “too close”</a> to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/nov/22/surprised-about-mark-zuckerbergs-secret-meeting-with-trump-dont-be">Trump</a>.</p> <p>Moreover, when the US Federal Trade Commission investigated Facebook’s role in the Cambridge Analytica scandal, it was <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/jul/12/facebook-fine-ftc-privacy-violations">Republican votes</a> that saved the company from facing antitrust litigation.</p> <p>Overall, Facebook’s model has shifted <a href="https://www.theverge.com/interface/2019/4/11/18305407/social-network-conservative-bias-twitter-facebook-ted-cruz">towards increasing polarisation</a>. Incendiary and misinformation-laden posts tend to generate clicks.</p> <p>As Zuckerberg himself <a href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/mark-zuckerberg/a-blueprint-for-content-governance-and-enforcement/10156443129621634/">notes</a>, “when left unchecked, people on the platform engage disproportionately” with such content.</p> <p>Over the years, conservatives have accused Facebook of <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2019/04/10/ted-cruz-threatens-regulate-facebook-twitter-over-alleged-bias/3423095002/">anti-conservative bias</a>, for which the company faced <a href="https://www.thewrap.com/trump-campaign-halts-twitter-spending-over-disgusting-bias-against-mitch-mcconnell/">financial penalties by the Republican Party</a>. This is despite research indicating <a href="https://www.mediamatters.org/facebook/study-analysis-top-facebook-pages-covering-american-political-news">no such bias exists</a> on the platform.</p> <p><strong>Fanning the flames</strong></p> <p>Facebook’s <a href="https://www.livescience.com/49585-facebook-addiction-viewed-brain.html">addictive</a> news feed rewards us for simply skimming headlines, conditioning us to react viscerally.</p> <p>Its sharing features have been found to <a href="https://science.sciencemag.org/content/359/6380/1146">promote falsehoods</a>. They can <a href="https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/10/can-voting-facebook-button-improve-voter-turnout/">trick users</a> into attributing news to their friends, causing them to assign trust to unreliable news sources. This provides a breeding ground for <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2020-10-05/conspiracy-theories-coronavirus-5g-conspiratorial-psychology/12722320">conspiracies</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0207383">Studies</a> have also shown social media to be an ideal environment for campaigns aimed at creating mistrust, which explains the increasing <a href="https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/516412-polls-show-trust-in-scientific-political-institutions-eroding">erosion of trust in science and expertise</a>.</p> <p>Worst of all are Facebook’s “echo chambers”, which convince people that only their own opinions are mainstream. This encourages hostile “us versus them” dialogue, which leads to polarisation. This pattern <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/21/concerns-about-democracy-in-the-digital-age/">suppresses valuable democratic debate</a> and has been described as an <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Age-Surveillance-Capitalism-Future-Frontier/dp/1610395697">existential threat to democracy itself</a>.</p> <p>Meanwhile, Facebook’s staff hasn’t been shy about skewing liberal, even suggesting in 2016 that Facebook work to <a href="https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2016/04/facebook-employees-asked-mark-zuckerberg-if-they-should-try-to-stop-a-donald-trump-presidency/">prevent Trump’s election</a>. Around 2017, they proposed a feature called “<a href="https://www.theverge.com/2018/12/23/18154111/facebook-common-grounds-feature-conservative-bias-concerns-shelved-joel-kaplan">Common Ground</a>”, which would have encouraged users with different political beliefs to interact in less hostile ways.</p> <p>Kaplan opposed the proposition, according to <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebooks-lonely-conservative-takes-on-a-power-position-11545570000">The Wall Street Journal</a>, due to fears it could trigger claims of bias against conservatives. The project was eventually shelved in 2018.</p> <p>Facebook’s track record isn’t good news for those who want to live in a healthy democratic state. Polarisation certainly doesn’t lead to effective political discourse.</p> <p>While several <a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2020/10/preparing-for-election-day/">blog</a> <a href="https://about.fb.com/news/2020/08/preparing-for-myanmars-2020-election/">posts</a> from the company outline measures being taken to supposedly protect the integrity of the 2020 US presidential elections, it remains to be seen what this means in reality.</p> <p><em>Written by <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-brand-290376">Michael Brand</a>, Monash University. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/facebook-is-tilting-the-political-playing-field-more-than-ever-and-its-no-accident-148314">The Conversation.</a></em></p>

Art

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15 questions polite people never ask

<div class="share-buttons"> <div class="addthis_inline_share_toolbox" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/15-questions-polite-people-never-ask" data-title="15 questions polite people never ask | Reader's Digest Australia" data-description="While your intentions may come from the right place, you need to think about how a question will make the object of your interrogation feel before speaking. Here are the questions that experts say to put on your &quot;just don't say it&quot; list."> <div class="at-resp-share-element at-style-responsive addthis-smartlayers addthis-animated at4-show at-mobile" aria-labelledby="at-a02d1d62-6b60-4b42-a7aa-4fc057d9ccc5"> <p><strong>How to tell if a question is appropriate</strong><br />Asking questions is usually a means to an end. You need information, the person you’re speaking with (hopefully) has answers. However, while this works great for “What time does the store close” or “What is your favourite book?” it gets sticky when you veer into personal territory, says Sarah Epstein, MFT, a relationship therapist. Many people may think they’re just making “polite conversation” by asking questions of the other person but they are actually coming across as intrusive or judgmental, she says.</p> <p>How do you know the difference? “A good rule of thumb is that polite people always think about the impact of their words instead of only thinking about the information they want to learn,” she says.</p> <p><strong>You’re so cute, why are you still single?</strong><br />“Thoughtful, polite people don’t ask about a person’s relationship status because they know that it can be a sensitive subject for many,” Epstein says. The other issue with this question is the word “still” – something you should try to avoid because it comes across as inherently judgmental in any personal question, she adds.</p> <p><strong>Why don’t you have kids yet?</strong><br />Polite people never ask about reproduction because they know that a person’s choice whether or not to have children can be a very touchy subject, laden with potential landmines, Epstein says. “These types of questions often lead to hurt feelings, particularly for those who struggle with infertility or those who have chosen not to have children but continually receive questions about their decision,” she says.</p> <p><strong>You look so thin! Have you lost weight?</strong><br />For many people this may seem like the ultimate compliment, acknowledging someone else’s hard work. But unless you know for sure that the person was trying to lose weight and that they are OK with you commenting on their body, steer clear. “Polite people avoid questioning or commenting on others’ weight at all,” Epstein says. “Superficial questions rarely lead to fulfilling conversations. Plus weight loss can have many sources, including illness, eating disorders, anxiety and grief.”</p> <p><strong>Why haven’t you put a ring on it yet?</strong><br />Even in couples who’ve been together for years, not all relationships lead to marriage and not all partners are looking to be wed, says Jodi R. R. Smith, etiquette expert and founder of Mannersmith. “The only people who should be asking these questions are the ones in the relationship,” she says. “If you just want a reason to attend a big party, you should host one yourself (after the pandemic, of course).”</p> <p><strong>You seem like you’re doing well, how much money do you make?</strong><br />The only people allowed to ask this question are professional headhunters doing a confidential salary survey, Smith says. “If you are just curious how much your friend, cousin, or neighbour makes at their job, you can quell that curiosity by looking it up on a salary website,” she says. “Many etiquette rules have relaxed but asking about money is still tres gauche.”</p> <p><strong>I’m sorry to hear your dad passed, how did he die?</strong><br />Curiosity about someone’s death is natural and very human, especially during a pandemic of a deadly virus, but this is still one question you shouldn’t ask, Smith says. “You need to remember that the person you are talking to is in mourning and that’s no time to play amateur detective,” she says. “You should be expressing your condolences and looking for ways to comfort the mourner and that’s it.” Plus, there are generally kinder routes to finding that information (like Google) that don’t put the burden on the family.</p> <p><strong>Why do you look so tired?</strong><br />You may think you’re expressing concern for their health and wellbeing but what the listener likely hears is “you look bad,” says Bonnie Tsai, etiquette expert and founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. “They may be experiencing some health issues that are causing them to feel more fatigued than usual or they may just appear that way all the time,” she says. “There’s no need for you to make them feel like they need to appear a certain way that’s acceptable for your standards or society’s standards.”</p> <p><strong>So, who are you voting for?</strong><br />“Politics has always been a taboo subject for the dinner table and most social situations because it can alter the mood of a conversation very quickly,” Tsai says. “You can never be too sure of other people’s political affiliation and values and no one likes to be put on the spot by that question.” This is particularly important to remember these days when politics, religion, and other hot button issues are centre stage.</p> <p><strong>Why don’t you get out more?</strong><br />You may see this as a gentle way to chide your friend into trying new things, hanging out, or even travelling more. “However, this question can be perceived as offensive because it sounds as if you are suggesting the person needs more exposure and knowledge and they are uninteresting,” she says. This may also be a sore subject if someone doesn’t have the same financial resources as you and wants to do more things but can’t afford to, she adds.</p> <p><strong>Oh, where is his dad?</strong><br />This is one of these uncomfortable, painful and unnecessary questions that too often pop out in the moment, without thinking, Parker says. “This is an intensely personal question and if people would like to talk about their personal life they tell you,” she says. “Resist asking to satisfy your curiosity about their family situation.”</p> <p><strong>Are you a man or a woman?</strong><br />We are living in a very different time than previous generations and gender and sexuality are frequent topics around us but while it’s fine to discuss it in the abstract, it’s not fine to pepper an individual about their identity, surgeries, treatments, or anything else gender-related, Parker says. “Asking someone about their gender or sexual orientation is rude, inconsiderate, and in some circumstances, derogatory,” she says.</p> <p><strong>How old are you?</strong><br />This is the perennial “do not ask” question and it is still on the list for good reason, Parker says. “We all know people who do not feel comfortable answering this particular question and that’s all you really need to know about it,” she says. Why they’re not interested in discussing their age isn’t any of your business.</p> <p><strong>Why are you parking in the handicapped spot?</strong><br />“Any kind of question related to any kind of disability should be nixed,” Parker says. It’s normal to be curious but many disabilities aren’t readily visible and your question may lead them to feel uncomfortable or defensive. You’re basically asking them to tell you details of their private health history. “Anything about physical appearance related to a disability or disabilities should be strictly avoided,” she says.</p> <p><strong>Are you pregnant?</strong><br />There really isn’t a safe answer to this question, and that’s the problem, says Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette expert and founder of the Golden Rules Gal. She may be pregnant but if she wanted you to know she would tell you but more likely she’s not. “A lot of women carry weight in their midsection and pointing this out is insensitive and hurtful,” she says.</p> <p><strong>What religion are you?</strong><br />Just like politics, religious or faith-based beliefs are very personal and oftentimes questions about religion are based on assumptions, like location, ethnicity, or appearance, Grotts says. “In conversation with another you might have an idea about someone’s religion but never press the subject unless they bring it up first or they are a good friend,” she says.</p> <div class="author"> <p class="p1"><em>Written by Charlotte Hilton Andersen. This article first appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/15-questions-polite-people-never-ask?pages=1"><span class="s1">Reader’s Digest</span></a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.co.nz/subscribe"><span class="s1">here’s our best subscription offer</span></a>.</em></p> </div> </div> </div> </div>

Mind

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5 things that you should never do on a cruise

<p><strong>Constantly complain</strong></p> <p>There’s no reason to be rude if something doesn’t go your way during the cruise. Polite people never take issues out on crew members, according to Emilie Dulles, an event protocol and etiquette expert. “The crew is there to ensure that every traveller has the best experience onboard possible, yet they are also skilled human beings who should be treated with respect, grace, and kindness,” Dulles says. “Nothing is as tacky as yelling at a server, or complaining at the turn-down staff for forgetting an extra blanket, or hitting on a mixologist after one too many daiquiris.” Pay respect and attention to cruise workers.</p> <p><strong>Drink too much</strong></p> <p>Everyone should enjoy their cruise, and if that means sipping on fruity cocktails, that’s your business. If drinking regularly isn’t something you do, or you don’t know how to handle your liquor, it could lead to lots of rude behaviour. “Inhibitions go down as blood alcohol content goes up, so to avoid embarrassing oneself and disrupting other travellers’ cruise experience, it’s more polite to keep one’s cocktail count in check,” Dulles says.</p> <p><strong>Let kids run wild</strong></p> <p>Many families don’t keep a close eye on their kids while on a cruise, Dulles says. “There are assigned areas for children to run, jump, and be themselves with full energy under the supervision of trained staff,” Dulles says. “The entire ship is not their playground.” Polite people recognise that not all cruise travellers want to see or hear kids all the time. Mind the signs that show what areas are only for adults, families, or kids. “By respecting those boundaries, not only will children enjoy themselves more, but also adults will be able to relax and make the most of their time at sea.” Some cruises are especially for families.</p> <p><strong>Hoard food</strong></p> <p>All-inclusive food is very alluring. It’s easy to take things to the extreme. And although the buffet is tempting, remember not to be wasteful. “When it comes to the all-inclusive aspect of cruise voyages, many travellers will see this as an opportunity of getting as much as possible out of their fare,” Dulles says. “By piling more food than they can consume on their buffet plate and ordering cocktail after cocktail just because they can, travellers can be very wasteful and inconsiderate towards the crew who spends a lot of time and energy putting together the meals and drinks available.” Instead, take enough food for one sitting. You can always choose to go back for seconds, but this is more elegant than throwing away platefuls of perfectly good food.</p> <p><strong>Dress inappropriately</strong></p> <p>During the daytime, there are generally no dress code requirements on cruises. Tsai notes, however, if you plan on a formal dining experience with other guests, dress appropriately for the occasion. Generally, dress code requirements for the evening are in the cruise’s daily program, according to Tsai.</p> <p><em>Written by Emily DiNuzzo. This article first appeared in<a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/travel/10-things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises?slide=all"> Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRN93V"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></p>

Cruising

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5 things polite people just don't do on cruises

<p>Cruises are a wonderful opportunity to sit back, relax, and enjoy the water and sun. Don’t let rude people ruin your cruise – better still, before booking a cruise, learn not to be one of those people who ruin someone else’s holiday.</p> <p><strong>Argue in the cabin</strong></p> <p>Especially late at night, be courteous. “Cruise ship rooms tend to have thin walls; therefore you always want to be respectful when you’re walking through hallways so as not to disturb other guests,” says Bonnie Tsai, founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. “This also includes being as quiet as you can when you’re inside your cabin.” Cruisers who really want to avoid as much noise as possible shouldn’t book their room under the gym or pool deck, if possible.</p> <p><strong>Pretend the cruise is a personal yacht</strong></p> <p>The ship is your home away from home for a set amount of time. You should still keep in mind your behaviour and presentation, according to Tsai. “There’s no need to show off your immense collection of expensive jewellery or wear lingerie or PJs in the hallways,” she says. There are plenty of other guests sharing the same space, and they may not want to see your plaid PJs.</p> <p><strong>Hog lounge chairs</strong></p> <p>It’s impolite to save seats for your family and friends, whether it’s by the pool or in the theatre. Tsai says if you must save a seat, do so for only 30 minutes. Ships have a limited amount of seating, so be mindful. Another important tip to keep in mind is if your group wants to sit together, show up at the same time. “If it’s a situation where every lounger is sure to be occupied by 10 am, many cruises allow guests to place towels on loungers for a maximum of 30 minutes before they arrive,” Tsai says. “Gauge the situation and act with consideration for other guests.” Don’t fall for one of the most common cruise misconceptions, either.</p> <p><strong>Spread germs</strong></p> <p>If you’re not feeling so great during your cruise, do your best to keep your germs to yourself. “When one person is sick on a cruise, it’s easy for the whole ship to get infected as everyone’s staying in close quarters,” Tsai says. If you feel a cold coming on, try to avoid being in overly-crowded areas, so you don’t get others sick as well. And always cover your mouth with the nook of your elbow when you cough or sneeze.</p> <p><strong>Skip the tip</strong></p> <p>Many major cruise lines charge a daily fee for tips, but lots of people have confusion about tipping, according to Tsai. Confirm the tipping policy before booking your cruise. “If the cruise line doesn’t include tip in your payment, be sure to factor that into your budget when you plan for your trip,” Tsai says. “If tipping isn’t included and there is a standard tipping policy, then be sure to deliver it to the staff who’s helped you during your trip.” If tipping is expected, it’s customary for room service, dining services, childcare, and any additional alcohol.</p> <p><em>Written by Emily DiNuzzo. This article first appeared in </em><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/travel/10-things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises?slide=all"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRN93V"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></p>

Cruising

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5 things polite people never do on cruises

<p>Cruises are a wonderful opportunity to sit back, relax, and enjoy the water and sun. Don’t let rude people ruin your cruise – better still, before booking a cruise, learn not to be one of those people who ruin someone else’s holiday.</p> <p><strong>1. Argue in the cabin</strong></p> <p>Especially late at night, be courteous. “Cruise ship rooms tend to have thin walls; therefore you always want to be respectful when you’re walking through hallways so as not to disturb other guests,” says Bonnie Tsai, founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. “This also includes being as quiet as you can when you’re inside your cabin.” Cruisers who really want to avoid as much noise as possible shouldn’t book their room under the gym or pool deck, if possible.</p> <p><strong>2. Hog lounge chairs</strong></p> <p>It’s impolite to save seats for your family and friends, whether it’s by the pool or in the theatre. Tsai says if you must save a seat, do so for only 30 minutes. Ships have a limited amount of seating, so be mindful. Another important tip to keep in mind is if your group wants to sit together, show up at the same time. “If it’s a situation where every lounger is sure to be occupied by 10 am, many cruises allow guests to place towels on loungers for a maximum of 30 minutes before they arrive,” Tsai says. “Gauge the situation and act with consideration for other guests.” Don’t fall for one of the most common cruise misconceptions, either.</p> <p><strong>3. Constantly complain</strong></p> <p>There’s no reason to be rude if something doesn’t go your way during the cruise. Polite people never take issues out on crew members, according to Emilie Dulles, an event protocol and etiquette expert. “The crew is there to ensure that every traveller has the best experience onboard possible, yet they are also skilled human beings who should be treated with respect, grace, and kindness,” Dulles says. “Nothing is as tacky as yelling at a server, or complaining at the turn-down staff for forgetting an extra blanket, or hitting on a mixologist after one too many daiquiris.” Pay respect and attention to cruise workers.</p> <p><strong>4. Hoard food</strong></p> <p>All-inclusive food is very alluring. It’s easy to take things to the extreme. And although the buffet is tempting, remember not to be wasteful. “When it comes to the all-inclusive aspect of cruise voyages, many travellers will see this as an opportunity of getting as much as possible out of their fare,” Dulles says. “By piling more food than they can consume on their buffet plate and ordering cocktail after cocktail just because they can, travellers can be very wasteful and inconsiderate towards the crew who spends a lot of time and energy putting together the meals and drinks available.” Instead, take enough food for one sitting. You can always choose to go back for seconds, but this is more elegant than throwing away platefuls of perfectly good food.</p> <p><strong>5. Pretend the cruise is a personal yacht</strong></p> <p>The ship is your home away from home for a set amount of time. You should still keep in mind your behaviour and presentation, according to Tsai. “There’s no need to show off your immense collection of expensive jewellery or wear lingerie or PJs in the hallways,” she says. There are plenty of other guests sharing the same space, and they may not want to see your plaid PJs.</p> <p><em>Source: <a href="https://www.rd.com/advice/travel/things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises/">RD.com</a></em></p> <p><em>Written by Emily DiNuzzo. This article first appeared in </em><span><a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/travel/10-things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRN93V"><em>here’s our best subscription offer.</em></a></span></p> <p> </p>

Travel Trouble