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"I was terrified": Law & Order star reveals traumatic past

<p><em>Warning: This story contains graphic content.</em></p> <p>Mariska Hargitay, who plays Olivia Benson, a character that investigate rapists on <em>Law &amp; Order: Special Victims Unit, </em>has revealed that she too is a victim of sexual assault. </p> <p>The actress opened up about her traumatic past in a powerful essay written for <a href="https://people.com/mariska-hargitay-experience-rape-renewal-reckoning-8424247" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>People Magazine</em></a>, where she revealed that she was raped by “a friend" when she was in her thirties. </p> <p>"A man raped me in my thirties," she bravely revealed in the essay. </p> <p>"It wasn’t sexual at all. It was dominance and control. Overpowering control."</p> <p>The actress revealed that he was a friend who "made a unilateral decision" and recalled the fear she felt when the incident occurred. </p> <p>"He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified," she said. </p> <p>"I didn’t want it to escalate to violence. I now know it was already sexual violence, but I was afraid he would become physically violent.</p> <p>"I went into freeze mode, a common trauma response when there is no option to escape. I checked out of my body," she recalled. </p> <p>Hargitay, who is the daughter of the late actress Jane Mansfield, said that she never thought of herself as a "survivor", and often "minimised" what happened to her when she talked about it with others. </p> <p>"My husband Peter remembers me saying, “I mean, it wasn’t rape," she wrote. </p> <p>"Then things started shifting in me, and I began talking about it more in earnest with those closest to me. They were the first ones to call it what it was."</p> <p>The actress said that she wants other survivors to feel "no shame" about sexual assault and wants "this violence to end." </p> <p>She added that justice "may look different for each survivor," but for her she wants "an acknowledgment and an apology" after what happened. </p> <p>"This is a painful part of my story. The experience was horrible. But it doesn’t come close to defining me, in the same way that no other single part of my story defines me," she concluded, adding that she feels for all sexual violence survivors. </p> <p>"I’m turning 60, and I’m so deeply grateful for where I am. I’m renewed and I’m flooded with compassion for all of us who have suffered. And I’m still proudly in process."</p> <p>Hargitay started her own foundation, the Joyful Heart Foundation, in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Caring

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Is the Barbie movie a bold step to reinvent and fix past wrongs or a clever ploy to tap a new market?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-gurrieri-5402">Lauren Gurrieri</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p>After a months-long marketing blitz, the much-hyped Barbie movie is released this week.</p> <p>From a <a href="https://news.airbnb.com/barbies-malibu-dreamhouse-is-back-on-airbnb-but-this-time-kens-hosting/">Malibu Barbie dreamhouse</a> listed on AirBnB, an AI tool that <a href="https://www.barbieselfie.ai/au/">transforms selfies into Barbie movie posters</a> and multiple Barbie-themed brand collaborations ranging from nail polish to roller skates, Barbie is everywhere.</p> <p>She has even gone viral as a fashion trend known as <a href="https://www.elle.com.au/fashion/barbiecore-27286">Barbiecore</a>, exploding across social media with people embracing vibrant pink hues and hyper feminine aesthetics. A Barbie world is upon us.</p> <p>Although some have criticised this <a href="https://twitter.com/MosheIsaacian/status/1673415496929267712">saturation</a> strategy, it is a very deliberate marketing ploy to revitalise and redefine a brand with a contested position and history.</p> <p>As well as attracting adults who grew up with Barbie and are curious to see what’s changed, the reinvention is drawing in those younger fans swept up by the tsunami of marketing and merchandise.</p> <p>Despite being one of the <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/brandspark-most-trusted-brands-america-2022">most trusted brands</a> with a value of approximately <a href="https://www.statista.com/statistics/1009126/barbie-brand-value-worldwide/">$US700 million</a>, Barbie has long attracted feminist criticism for fuelling outdated and problematic “plastic fantastic” sexist stereotypes and expectations.</p> <h2>The Barbie backlash</h2> <p>Only a few years back, Barbie was a brand in crisis. <a href="https://time.com/3667580/mattel-barbie-earnings-plus-size-body-image/">Sales plummeted</a> across 2011 to 2015 against the cultural backdrop of a rise in body positivity and backlash against a doll that represented narrow ideals and an impossible beauty standard.</p> <p>After all, at life-size Barbie represents a body shape held by <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01544300#page-1">less than 1 in 100,000</a> real people. In fact, she is so <a href="https://rehabs.com/explore/dying-to-be-barbie/#.UWs-5aKyB8F">anatomically impossible</a> that, if she were real, she would be unable to lift her head, store a full liver or intestines, or <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/305/6868/1575">menstruate</a>.</p> <p>The backlash has also been in response to growing concerns about how she influences child development, particularly how and what children learn about gender. Barbie has been identified as a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144521000243#!">risk factor</a> for thin-ideal internalisation and body dissatisfaction for young girls, encouraging <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S174014451630208X">motivation for a thinner shape</a> that damages body image and self esteem.</p> <p>And despite the multiple careers Barbie has held over the decades, research highlights that girls who play with Barbie believe they have <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-014-0347-y">fewer career options than boys</a>. This speaks to the power of toys to reinforce gender stereotypes, roles and expectations, and how Barbie has imported narrow ideals of femininity, girlhood and womanhood into young girls’ lives.</p> <h2>Reinventing a long-established icon</h2> <p>In response to this backlash, Mattel launched a new range of Barbies in 2016 that were promoted as <a href="https://shop.mattel.com/collections/fashion-dolls#filter.ss_filter_tags_subtype=Fashionistas">diverse</a>, representing different body shapes, sizes, hair types and skin tones. This was not without criticism, with “curvy” Barbie still considered thin and dolls named in ways that drew attention foremost to their bodies.</p> <p>From a white, well-dressed, middle-class, girl-next-door with friends of a similar ilk, Barbie has since been marketed as a symbol of diversity and inclusion. To signify the extent of the transformation, Mattel’s executives gave this project the code name “Project Dawn”.</p> <p>Mattel - like many other brands joining the <a href="https://theconversation.com/victorias-secret-joins-the-inclusive-revolution-finally-realizing-diversity-sells-163955">“inclusivity revolution”</a> - knew that diversity sells, and they needed to make their brand relevant for contemporary consumers.</p> <p>Diversity initiatives included a line of <a href="https://shop.mattel.com/pages/barbie-role-models">female role model dolls</a>, promoted as “introducing girls to remarkable women’s stories to show them you can be anything”.</p> <p>Barbie was also given a voice in the form of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5BsRl9zFaeSKIL4XD-pdGHGbJRvkfe8S">Barbie Vlogs</a>, where she expressed her views on issues including depression and the <a href="https://www.bustle.com/p/barbies-vlog-about-the-sorry-reflex-is-the-feminist-pep-talk-all-90s-babies-need-to-hear-9852366">sorry reflex</a>. A gender neutral collection called “creatable world” was added in 2019 to open up gender expression possibilities when playing with Barbies.</p> <p>Such efforts were crucial to undoing missteps of the past, such as a “Teen Talk Barbie” that was programmed to say “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSL2-rbE9AM">Math class is tough!</a>”, or the compulsory heterosexuality that Barbie has long advanced.</p> <h2>The latest step in Barbie’s transformation</h2> <p>Barbie the film is simply the next step in an evolution to make brand Barbie inclusive. And with a rumoured film budget of $100 million, the supporting marketing machine provides a critical opportunity to reset the Barbie narrative.</p> <p>With Greta Gerwig, acclaimed director of female-led stories such as Little Women and Lady Bird at the helm, and a diverse cast of Barbies of different races, body types, gender identities and sexual preferences, the film and its creators have sought to assure audiences of the film’s feminist leanings.</p> <p>Addressing the complicated history of Barbie is crucial for audiences who grew up and played with the doll and are grappling with introducing her to the next generation of doll consumers.</p> <p>Yet, Robbie Brenner, executive producer of Mattel Films, has explicitly stated that Gerwig’s Barbie is “not a feminist movie”. Indeed, the main character still represents a narrow beauty standard - tall, thin, blonde, white - with diverse characters in place to support her narrative.</p> <p>Which begs the question: are these inclusion initiatives simply emblematic of diversity washing, where the language and symbolism of social justice are hijacked for corporate profit? Or do they represent a genuine effort to redress the chequered history of a brand that promotes poor body image, unrealistic ideals and rampant materialism?</p> <p>What is clear is that in today’s climate where brands are increasingly rewarded for taking a stand on sociopolitical issues, brand Barbie’s attempts to reposition as inclusive have paid off: sales are now booming.</p> <p>Seemingly, Barbie’s famous tagline that “anything is possible” has shown itself to be true.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209394/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-gurrieri-5402">Lauren Gurrieri</a>, Associate Professor in Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-the-barbie-movie-a-bold-step-to-reinvent-and-fix-past-wrongs-or-a-clever-ploy-to-tap-a-new-market-209394">original article</a>.</em></p>

Movies

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When your house has a (disturbing) history, what should buyers be told about its ‘past’?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/eileen-webb-95332">Eileen Webb</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p>Imagine you have just bought a home. You have moved in and, during a friendly chat with the neighbours, you find out the property had been the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-07-07/what-is-stigmatised-property-and-what-are-your-rights/9911608">scene of a serious crime</a> or <a href="https://www.aicnsw.com.au/our-dream-house-was-a-meth-lab/">used to manufacture</a> methamphetamine.</p> <p>How would you react? Is this something you would want to have known prior to the sale? If you had known, would this have affected you decision to buy the property? And was the real estate agent or vendor <a href="https://www.domain.com.au/news/what-do-agents-have-to-reveal-about-a-home8217s-history-20170810-gxcm5k/">under any obligation</a> to let you know?</p> <p>In most cases, the answer is (somewhat surprisingly to buyers) “no”. However, amendments to Victoria’s Sale of Land Act 1962 <a href="https://www.consumer.vic.gov.au/latest-news/sale-of-land-changes-in-effect-legislation-update">have now broadened the matters</a> that must be disclosed to buyers prior to a sale, including where a serious crime has occurred. Renters who find they have entered into a stigmatised property must resort to the consumer protection laws discussed below.</p> <h2>Why were the laws required?</h2> <p>The ancient doctrine of <em>caveat emptor</em> (let the buyer beware) still impacts on real estate transactions. It means the buyer bears the responsibility of making their own enquiries about the property.</p> <p>Property inspections are usually confined to the physical condition of the property. While it would be possible, at least theoretically, to arrange for a person to investigate its “background”, this can be a difficult process, especially if such information is concealed or hard to come by.</p> <p>As a result, each state and territory has introduced laws that provide for some level of disclosure to the buyer during the conveyancing process. The extent of disclosure required and the nature of matters that must be disclosed varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.</p> <p>Furthermore, section 18 of the Australian Consumer Law <a href="http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/caca2010265/sch2.html#_Toc32223214">considers conduct</a> as misleading or deceptive where a matter is not disclosed but, in the circumstances, there is a reasonable expectation it would be.</p> <p>The problem is that while disclosure may be required in matters involving, for example, a structural fault or a road-widening proposal, such information is confined to physical issues affecting the property.</p> <p>However, what happens when the matter involves not a physical defect but a psychological or stigmatising one, such as a murder, for example? Such information may be of considerable importance to potential buyers who, for personal or religious reasons, would find living in a property where such an event occurred intolerable. On a more mercenary note, the impact on resale value of the property <a href="http://journalarticle.ukm.my/7237/1/115-293-1-PB.pdf">could be significant</a>.</p> <h2>The nature of ‘stigmatised’ property</h2> <p>Concern about the effect of stigma on property is not a recent phenomenon. Courts in several jurisdictions, including Australia, <a href="https://api.research-repository.uwa.edu.au/portalfiles/portal/1218611/3632_3632.pdf">have had to grapple</a> with buyers who had discovered, after purchase, that the property had been the scene of a serious crime or criminal activity, a suicide had occurred, persons had been suffering from certain illnesses, or a sex offender lived nearby.</p> <p>In one case a young man had murdered his parents and sister in their Sydney home. The property was later sold to a young couple. After discovering the tragic events that had occurred in the home, they sought to withdraw from the sale on religious grounds.</p> <p>There was a <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/estate-agents-fined-over-triple-murder-house-20041220-gdz86g.html">significant amount of criticism</a> of the real estate agent for not informing the buyers about what had occurred there. After considerable public pressure and an investigation by the NSW Office of Fair Trading, the contract was set aside.</p> <p>On a more ethereal note, there have been a series of cases in the United States where buyers have sought, in some cases successfully, to have a sale rescinded <a href="http://zillow.mediaroom.com/2019-10-29-Selling-a-Haunted-House-Heres-What-You-Need-to-Know">because the house</a> was (allegedly) haunted or the subject of <a href="https://casetext.com/case/stambovsky-v-ackley">paranormal activity</a>.</p> <h2>Disclosure laws regarding stigma</h2> <p>The Victorian legislation clarifies obligations for estate agents and vendors regarding <a href="https://www.consumer.vic.gov.au/latest-news/sale-of-land-changes-in-effect-legislation-update">the disclosure of “material facts”</a>.</p> <p>In summary, an estate agent or vendor cannot knowingly conceal any material facts about a property when selling land. The legislation is supported by guidelines that clarify the nature of a material fact. This includes circumstances where, during the current or previous occupation, the property was the scene of a serious crime or an event that may create long-term potential risks to the health and safety of occupiers of the land.</p> <p>Specific examples include extreme violence such as a homicide, the use of the property for the manufacture of substances such as methylamphetamine, or a defence or fire brigade training site involving the use of hazardous materials. Relevant factors can include the reaction of other potential buyers to the fact, including their willingness to buy in light of the revelation.</p> <p>Significant penalties and even imprisonment await vendors and real estate agents who do not comply.</p> <h2>Will the laws work?</h2> <p>As with any new legislation, we will have to wait and see how this plays out. However, some preliminary comments can be made.</p> <p>First, it will be interesting to see how the term “knowingly” is interpreted. Could an agent or vendor avoid the provisions if they merely suspect an issue but do not look further into it? The term “wilful blindness” comes to mind.</p> <p>Second, a fact can be material in either a general or a specific sense. The general sense seems straightforward, as it refers to information most people would consider when deciding whether to buy a property.</p> <p>However, how serious must a crime be to be material? What if the situation involves cultivation of marijuana rather than a more egregious substance?</p> <p>More complex is where a material fact may be of importance to a specific buyer but not buyers generally. For example, in the case discussed above, the buyers’ religion made it impossible for them to live in a home where a violent murder had occurred. In this case, the onus seems to be on the prospective buyer to ask questions about matters of concern to them.</p> <h2>What now?</h2> <p>Although one suspects that buyers of an allegedly haunted house might not succeed under this legislation, the laws address a significant gap regarding disclosure of psychological considerations in the purchase of a property rather than the traditional physical ones.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/132766/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/eileen-webb-95332">Eileen Webb</a>, Professor of Law and Ageing, School of Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-your-house-has-a-disturbing-history-what-should-buyers-be-told-about-its-past-132766">original article</a>.</em></p>

Real Estate

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Why does music bring back memories? What the science says

<p>You’re walking down a busy street on your way to work. You pass a busker playing a song you haven’t heard in years. Now suddenly, instead of noticing all the goings on in the city around you, you’re mentally reliving the first time you heard the song. Hearing that piece of music takes you right back to where you were, who you were with and the feelings associated with that memory.</p> <p>This experience – when music brings back memories of events, people and places from our past – is known as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0251692">music-evoked autobiographical memory</a>. And it’s a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735619888803">common experience</a>. </p> <p>It often occurs as an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721410370301">involuntary memory</a>. That is, we make no effort to try to recall such memories, they just come to mind spontaneously. </p> <p>Research has recently begun to uncover why music appears to be such a good cue for invoking memories. First, music tends to accompany many distinctive life events, such as proms, graduations, weddings and funerals, so it can play an important role in reconnecting us with these <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S1041610215000812">self-defining moments</a>.</p> <p>Music also often captures our attention, due to the way it affects our <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-power-of-our-song-the-musical-glue-that-binds-friends-and-lovers-across-the-ages-73593">minds</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/rhythm-on-the-brain-and-why-we-cant-stop-dancing-56354">bodies</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-sad-songs-say-so-much-to-some-people-but-not-others-65365">emotions</a>. </p> <p>When music draws our attention, this increases the likelihood that it will be encoded in memory together with details of a life event. And this then means it is able to serve as an effective cue for remembering this event years later.</p> <h2>Positive memories</h2> <p>In <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jarmac.2021.09.002">recent research</a> my colleague and I found that the emotional nature of a piece of music is an important factor in how it serves as a memory cue. </p> <p>We compared music with other emotional memory cues that had been rated by a large group of participants as conveying the same emotional expression as the music excerpts we used. This included comparing music with “emotional sounds”, such as nature and factory noises and “emotional words”, such as “money” and “tornado”.</p> <p>When compared with these emotionally matched cues, the music didn’t elicit any more memories than the words. But what we did find was that music evoked more consistently positive memories than other emotional sounds and words. This was especially the case for negative emotional stimuli. Specifically, sad and angry music evoked more positive memories than sad and angry sounds or words. </p> <p>It seems then that music appears to have the ability to reconnect us with emotionally positive moments from our pasts. This suggests that using <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-researchers-are-turning-to-music-as-a-possible-treatment-for-stroke-brain-injuries-and-even-parkinsons-171701">music therapeutically</a> may be particularly fruitful. </p> <h2>How and when</h2> <p>The familiarity of a piece of music also, perhaps unsurprisingly, plays a role. In <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/17470218221129793">another recent study</a>, we found that more familiar music evokes more memories and brings memories to mind more spontaneously. </p> <p>So part of the reason music may be a more effective cue for memories than, for instance, our favourite film or favourite book, is that we typically reengage with songs more often over our lifetimes compared to films, books or TV shows.</p> <p>The situations when we listen to music may also play a role. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511575921">Previous research</a> shows that involuntary memories are more likely to come back during activities where our mind is free to wander to thoughts about our past. These activities tend to be non-demanding in terms of our attention and include things like commuting, travelling, housework and relaxing. </p> <p>These types of activities align almost perfectly with those recorded in another study where we asked participants to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0305735619888803">keep a diary</a> and note when music evoked a memory, along with what they were doing at the time it happened. We found that daily activities that often go hand in hand with listening to music – such as travelling, doing chores or going for a run – tend to lead to more involuntary memories in the first place.</p> <p>This contrasts with other hobbies, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1525/mp.2021.38.5.435">such as watching TV</a>, which can require our mind to be more focused on the activity at hand and so less likely to wander to scenarios from our past. </p> <p>It seems then that music is not only good at evoking memories but also the times when we are more likely to listen to music are the times when our minds may <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-your-brain-decides-what-to-think-198109">naturally be more likely to wander</a> anyway.</p> <p>Music is also present during many life events that are distinctive, emotional or self-defining – and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-your-brain-decides-what-to-think-198109">these types of memories</a> tend to be more easily recalled. </p> <p>Indeed, the power of music to connect us with our past shows how music, memories and emotions are all linked – and it seems certain songs can act as a direct line to our younger selves.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-does-music-bring-back-memories-what-the-science-says-197301" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Music

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Why do I remember embarrassing things I’ve said or done in the past and feel ashamed all over again?

<p>We’ve all done it – you’re walking around going about your business and suddenly you’re thinking about that time in high school you said something really stupid you would never say now.</p> <p>Or that time a few years ago when you made a social gaffe.</p> <p>You cringe and just want to die of shame.</p> <p>Why do these negative memories seem to just pop into our heads? And why do we feel so embarrassed still, when the occasion is long past?</p> <p><strong>How do memories come into our awareness?</strong></p> <p>The current thinking is there are two ways in which we recall experiences from our past. One way is purposeful and voluntary. For example, if you try to remember what you did at work yesterday, or what you had for lunch last Saturday. This involves a deliberate and effortful process during which we search for the memory in our minds.</p> <p>The second way is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721410370301" target="_blank" rel="noopener">unintended and spontaneous</a>. These are memories that just seem to “pop” into our minds and can even be unwanted or intrusive. So, where does this second type of memory come from?</p> <p>Part of the answer lays in how memories are connected to each other. The current understanding is our past experiences are represented in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661318300652?casa_token=SSFCzEsOjMkAAAAA:dYMJ2aVZpSCs9JCD9-iXsTMMnkyqnNtlcOoxA3lLzs8sNRrA8SXqb5LYamz25ZcMrsYxLoftp3A" target="_blank" rel="noopener">connected networks of cells</a> that reside in our brain, called neurons.</p> <p>These neurons grow physical connections with each other through the overlapping information in these representations. For example, memories might share a type of context (different beaches you’ve been to, restaurants you’ve eaten at), occur at similar periods of life (childhood, high school years), or have emotional and thematic overlap (times we have loved or argued with others).</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="A bakery window" /></a><figcaption><em><span class="caption">Memories can be triggered by internal stimuli (thoughts, feelings) or external stimuli (something we see, hear, smell).</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Yeh Xintong/Unsplash</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CC BY</a></span></em></figcaption></figure> <p>An initial activation of a memory could be triggered by an external stimuli from the environment (sights, sounds, tastes, smells) or internal stimuli (thoughts, feelings, physical sensations). Once neurons containing these memories are activated, associated memories are then <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13423-020-01792-x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">more likely to be recalled into conscious awareness</a>.</p> <p>An example might be walking past a bakery, smelling fresh bread, and having a spontaneous thought of last weekend when you cooked a meal for a friend. This might then lead to a memory of when toast was burned and there was smoke in the house. Not all activation will lead to a conscious memory, and at times the associations between memories might not be entirely clear to us.</p> <p><strong>Why do memories make us feel?</strong></p> <p>When memories come to mind, we often experience <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1099-0720(199610)10:5%3C435::AID-ACP408%3E3.0.CO;2-L" target="_blank" rel="noopener">emotional responses to them</a>. In fact, involuntary memories tend to be <a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2019.0693" target="_blank" rel="noopener">more negative than voluntary memories</a>. Negative memories also tend to have a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.5.4.323" target="_blank" rel="noopener">stronger emotional tone</a> than positive memories.</p> <p>Humans are more motivated to avoid bad outcomes, bad situations, and bad definitions of ourselves than to seek out good ones. This is likely due to the pressing need for survival in the world: physically, mentally, and socially.</p> <p>So involuntary memories can make us feel acutely sad, anxious, and even ashamed of ourselves. For example, a memory involving embarrassment or shame might indicate to us we have done something others might find to be distasteful or negative, or in some way we have violated social norms.</p> <p>These emotions are important for us to feel, and we learn from our memories and these emotional responses to manage future situations differently.</p> <p><strong>Does this happen to some people more than others?</strong></p> <p>This is all well and good, and mostly we’re able to remember our past and experience the emotions without too much distress. But it may happen for some people more than others, and with stronger emotions attached.</p> <p>One clue as to why comes from research on <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2023-06108-001" target="_blank" rel="noopener">mood-congruent memory</a>. This is the tendency to be more likely to recall memories which are consistent with our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1099-0720(199610)10:5%3C435::AID-ACP408%3E3.0.CO;2-L" target="_blank" rel="noopener">current mood</a>.</p> <figure class="align-right zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Man at desk thinking" /></a><figcaption><em><span class="caption">Ruminating is often unhelpful.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">pexels/olia danilevich</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CC BY</a></span></em></figcaption></figure> <p>So, if you’re feeling sad, well, you’re more likely to recall memories related to disappointments, loss or shame. Feeling anxious or bad about yourself? You’re more likely to recall times when you felt scared or unsure.</p> <p>In some mental health disorders, such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735817303914?casa_token=k0OOX1ybROYAAAAA:UXy5KQk-_8h37dwSCDJqkoFebDn3b5atTodeeF0eYGeHjgtimUUcznPX9_Sxmq-5QsYx5gcUFQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">major depression</a>, people more often recall memories that evoke negative feelings, the negative feelings are relatively stronger, and these feelings of shame or sadness are perceived as facts about themselves. That is, feelings become facts.</p> <p>Another thing that is more likely in some mental health disorders is <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796720300243?casa_token=eaQkokETnM8AAAAA:WjFF1oStuF9VUm7KWdP1zwd7CluYm9M5YZKTotYEV8v0ijZDJ2eDSLdv_Di6kICGw7h59kmW4y4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">rumination</a>. When we ruminate, we repetitively think about negative past experiences and how we feel or felt about them.</p> <p>On the surface, the function of rumination is to try and “work out” what happened and learn something or problem-solve so these experiences do not happen again. While this is good idea in theory, when we ruminate we become stuck in the past and re-experience negative emotions <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796720300243?casa_token=eaQkokETnM8AAAAA:WjFF1oStuF9VUm7KWdP1zwd7CluYm9M5YZKTotYEV8v0ijZDJ2eDSLdv_Di6kICGw7h59kmW4y4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">without much benefit</a>.</p> <p>Not only that, but it means those memories in our neural networks become more strongly connected with other information, and are even more likely to then be <a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.1800006115" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recalled involuntarily</a>.</p> <p><strong>Can we stop the negative feelings?</strong></p> <p>The good news is memories are very adaptable. When we recall a memory we can elaborate on it and change our thoughts, feelings, and appraisals of past experiences.</p> <p>In a process referred to as “<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2018-24701-001" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reconsolidation</a>”, changes can be made so the next time that memory is recalled it is different to what it once was and has a changed emotional tone.</p> <p>For example, we might remember a time when we felt anxious about a test or a job interview that didn’t go so well and feel sad or ashamed. Reflecting, elaborating and reframing that memory might involve remembering some aspects of it that did go well, integrating it with the idea that you stepped up to a challenge even though it was hard, and reminding yourself it’s okay to feel anxious or disappointed about difficult things and it does not make us a failure or a bad person.</p> <p>Through this process of rewriting experiences in a way that is reasonable and self-compassionate, their prominence in our life and self-concept can be reduced, and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13607863.2011.651434" target="_blank" rel="noopener">our well-being can improve</a>.</p> <p>As for rumination, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735813001207?casa_token=arG_36s8na4AAAAA:Wrlcppj451P7mZlxg44UyooaM25GpoEwTFtx5gfHFc-k2M2cWCXXO75JYC9P7DnMKF7vw7SlcA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one evidenced-based strategy</a> is to recognise when it is happening and try to shift attention onto something absorbing and sensorial (for example doing something with your hands or focusing on sights or sounds). This attention shifting can short circuit rumination and get you doing something more valued.</p> <p>Overall, remember that even though our brain will give us little reminders of our experiences, we don’t have to be stuck in the past.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/190535/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em>Writen by David John Hallford. Republished with permission from <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-i-remember-embarrassing-things-ive-said-or-done-in-the-past-and-feel-ashamed-all-over-again-190535" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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Internet spooked after young boy "proves" he is the reincarnation of a dead woman

<p>A five-year-old boy has insisted to his mum that he has lived a past life as a woman named Pam, which has left viewers spooked with his "scary" story. </p> <p>Five-year-old Luke Ruehlman has claimed that he used to be a woman since he was just two years old. </p> <p>While his mother, Erika, brushed off his stories as an over-active imagination, his comments became increasingly peculiar as he grew older. </p> <p>“He’d say, ‘When I was a girl, I had black hair’ or he’d say, ‘I used to have earrings like that when I was a girl’,” Erika told US television network <a href="https://fox2now.com/news/do-you-believe-in-past-lives-toddlers-testimony-has-family-questioning-if-he-was-a-chicago-woman/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-link-type="article-inline">Fox 2</a>.</p> <p>She also said Luke spoke about a woman called Pam from a young age, although the family didn’t know anyone by that name.</p> <p>It was one fleeting comment that left Erika gobsmacked. </p> <p>“I was like, ‘Who is Pam?’,” Erika said.</p> <p>“That’s when he turned to me and said, ‘Well I was’.</p> <p>“I said, ‘What do you mean you were?’</p> <p>“He was like, ‘Well I used to be, but I died and I went up to heaven and I saw God and eventually God pushed me back down.</p> <p>“When I woke up I was a baby and you named me Luke’.”</p> <p>Adding to the spine-tingling comments, Luke insisted to his mum that he had died in a fire in Chicago - a city he had never been to.</p> <p>Erika did some research and discovered that an African-American woman by the name of Pamela Robinson had indeed died after jumping from a window to escape a massive fire in the Illinois city in 1993.</p> <p>Luke's parents decided to put him to the test, showing him a series of photos of different women. </p> <p>They were shocked and a little bit spooked when he picked out the correct photo of Pam. </p> <p>“He goes, ‘Well I don’t recognise anybody. But, I remember when this one was taken’,” his mum said of the moment he pointed at the right image.</p> <p>Luke’s claim has left the internet spooked, with some calling the story “crazy s***”.</p> <p>“That’s scary,” one viewer wrote on TikTok.</p> <p><em>Image credits: YouTube</em></p>

Family & Pets

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“A pain in the a***”: Security expert reveals why woman posing as Prince Andrew’s fiancée got past security

<p dir="ltr">A woman claiming to be Prince Andrew’s fiancée was able to get past security because staff were too “terrified” to check with the royal according to a specialist detective.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Spanish woman claimed to be Irene Windsor and was due to have dinner with the Duke of York when she arrived at the security gate of the Royal Lodge in Winsdor last April, and was allowed in without her identification checked.</p> <p dir="ltr">Her cab fare was even paid for by security officers, with her cover eventually blown when she entered the building and a suspicious staff member alerted police - but not before she walked around the grounds for up to 40 minutes.</p> <p dir="ltr">Philip Grindell, the founder of VIP security firm Defuse and a former specialist detective with the Met Police, has now claimed that staff were reluctant to check the woman’s story with Prince Andrew because of his reputation.</p> <p dir="ltr">Grindell, who was responsible for planning and running security measures for high-profile events that included those with royals and the military, made the claims while speaking at the International Security Expo in London, describing the royal as an “unpleasant character”.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Prince Andrew is a pain in the a*** and if you have ever worked with him, is an unpleasant character and the security were terrified of asking him 'is anyone turning up?'” Grindell said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"And because they did not want to upset him, no one asked and they assumed he must have an appointment and let her in.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The security were terrified of asking him."</p> <p dir="ltr">Paul Page, a former Met Police royal protection officer, separately shared a similar account about working with the controversial royal.</p> <p dir="ltr">"When I heard this it became blatantly obvious that the security involved were in the same position with Prince Andrew as I was 20 years ago, in that they were too frightened to question unidentified female visitors as it would always end in him abusing us for stopping them,” he said at the expo.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This is a classic example of what we feared would happen one day."</p> <p dir="ltr">At the time, the woman was found with maps of the Royal Lodge and other royal residences, as well as a self-defence key ring with two sharp prongs.</p> <p dir="ltr">She was arrested on suspicion of burglary before being sectioned under the Mental Health Act and eventually released without charge.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-bfff73ff-7fff-7826-a75c-88d6a93cf36c"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Legal

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Readers Respond: What is something from the past that you wish would be brought back?

<p dir="ltr">We all do it. Sit there and reminisce about the good ol’ days. </p> <p dir="ltr">Life was good back then…it still is now but we can all admit there are some things we wish would have stayed the same.</p> <p dir="ltr">We asked our readers to share something from the past that they wish would be brought back and it appears that most of you agreed on a common answer: respect.</p> <p dir="ltr">Check out some of your other responses below. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kathryn Potter - Manners, respect, common sense and dignity but also I would love the simpler times back too!</p> <p dir="ltr">Raelene Oliver - Respect, honesty and caring for each other.</p> <p dir="ltr">Suzanne Stovel - No welfare. People actually having to work, to have money. Qualified tradespeople. Less dependence on technology.</p> <p dir="ltr">Carol Edmonds - SPs made by Peters ice cream, strawberry and pineapple ice cream covered in chocolate. </p> <p dir="ltr">Dawn Dominick - The city of old...was always a treat to go to the city in the 60s.</p> <p dir="ltr">Valerie Keily - Decent radio stations and local TV stations have more local shows and also variety shows.</p> <p dir="ltr">Adrian Whiley - Everything. Life was so much simpler back then. Also manners and respect. Since social media people have forgotten how to talk to each other. It's all done by texting.</p> <p dir="ltr">Lois Sullivan - Close all shops by 12 noon on Saturday, open 9am Monday. All workers need time out also. Worked very well for us as kids.</p> <p dir="ltr">Marion Bradley - Good old fashioned cooking. (Less processed) Parental control over your child. Respect, responsibility for your actions. Manners.</p> <p dir="ltr">Yvonne Dyer - Simple ways of living. Far too many choices with everything.</p> <p dir="ltr">Share something you wish would be brought back <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtyNZ/posts/pfbid0egPYdDmX2RFE9TAVpXXargvuztYFrC2wEZTJR17GpW8F9GVvgzGh9RWH3S19hPr3l" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Unlikely hack makes ironing a thing of the past

<p>Wishing you could find a way to make ironing a thing of the past?</p> <p>Well, you’re in luck. This clever grandma has come up with a genius hack for crease-free clothing – and best of all, there is no iron in sight.</p> <p>The savvy nan called Babs, also known as brunchwithbabs on Instagram, shared the hack on her page and she’s gone viral.</p> <p>The US-based grandmother who calls herself the “internet mom/grandma you didn’t know you needed” shares all kinds of advice on her page gaining her quite the following.</p> <p>Captioning the video showing how to remove creases from clothes without an iron, Babs writes:</p> <p>“Babs Hack *tip: high heat, works great on cotton and another option is throwing in a damp rag which also works like a charm.”</p> <p>In the footage, Babs asks viewers, ”Do you like to iron on a beautiful sunny day? Me neither.</p> <p>”Try ice cubes instead.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cdalnisloi4/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cdalnisloi4/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Babs (@brunchwithbabs)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Four to five ice cubes right in,” she revealed, before adding that you should let the ice cubes do their magic for 10 to 15 minutes.</p> <p>At the end of the video, Babs can be seen removing the dresses and showing they are wrinkle-free.</p> <p>The video has been viewed more than 50,000 times and her fans are impressed. Let us know if you've tried this genius hack.</p>

Home Hints & Tips

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Reader’s Respond: What’s different about growing up today from when you were growing up?

<p dir="ltr">We asked you to take a trip down memory and reminisce about what has changed since growing up. </p> <p dir="ltr">From walking to school alone to not having social media, neighbours being like family to the point of not having to lock your front door – here are just some of the amazing and touching memories you shared. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Faye Birtwistle</strong> - Safety. We were able to walk to school safely. Doors were never locked, you were able to sleep out on the veranda, neighbours were like family, we were taught respect for parents teachers police and adults.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>John Barbuto</strong> - We were very lucky there was no unsocial media, we actually spoke to each other. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Yvonne Vishnich</strong> - We had boundaries and rules to abide by, if we didn't conform there was a punishment, grounded or not allowed something that was wanted. Manners had to be used and no answering back.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Marje Brugel </strong>- We weren't reliant on technology and the need to constantly communicate. We wrote letters by hand and we relied on our own ability rather than a calculator. If our parents said "No", we knew they meant it and stress-related illness was rarely heard of.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Jenni Champion</strong> - We were safe playing outside, no mobile phones, no TV, radios and used our imagination.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Christine Rennie</strong> - Family values. Spending time together and grandparents were a special part of the family unit...sadly not anymore.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Carolyn Zillman</strong> - So much stress in children’s lives today. We just lived our lives really not knowing what was going on around us. We enjoyed being kids knowing our parents were looking after us. The pressure on children today is tremendous and everything is so expensive to be involved in.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Joy Flint</strong> - We had so much freedom after school and enjoyed playing without TV or internet always obeyed parents and teachers. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Samantha Elliott</strong> - I didn't get a phone until I was 11, we spent most days outside, played with our cousins and went swimming once a week.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Sharon Hemus</strong> - We had freedom to be kids.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Patricia Phillips-Johnson</strong> - Fewer choices, you ate at meals no matter what it was…no snacks, no screens, you wore what was on the chair…generally hand me downs.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Sue Smith</strong> - We spent more time outside playing seeing friends.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Past policies have created barriers to voting in remote First Nations communities

<p>The rate of voter participation in federal elections by people living in remote Indigenous communities has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lower than the national average</a> since First Nations people were granted the right to vote in 1962. In recent years, the rate has been in <a href="http://doi.org/10.22459/DAER.05.2012;%20http://doi.org/10.25911/5df209771dd57" target="_blank" rel="noopener">decline</a>. Rates are lowest in the Northern Territory.</p> <p>The low rate of participation among First Nations people living in remote communities could affect the lower house election results in the Northern Territory seat of Lingiari. Warren Snowden has stepped down after 20 years holding the seat.</p> <p><strong>Determining rates of voter participation</strong></p> <p>Measuring the number of First Nations people (or any particular demographic group) who vote in federal elections is challenging. Electoral rolls do not include information about cultural identity. Census figures, which could be used as a basis for comparison against voter turnout rates, are imprecise.</p> <p>Data from the 2005 NT Assembly general election <a href="http://doi.org/10.22459/DAER.05.2012;%20https:/press.anu.edu.au/publications/directions-australian-electoral-reform" target="_blank" rel="noopener">show</a> voting rates were 20% lower in electorates with the highest Indigenous populations.</p> <p>In his study of the 2019 federal election, Australian National University researcher <a href="http://doi.org/10.25911/5df209771dd57" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Will Sanders</a> found</p> <blockquote> <p>perhaps only half of eligible Aboriginal citizens […] may be utilising their right to vote.</p> </blockquote> <p>Reports from the Northern Territory’s most recent Assembly election also found <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-21/poor-indigenous-voter-turnout-at-nt-election/12580688" target="_blank" rel="noopener">record low</a><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-15/coronavirus-impacting-on-remote-voter-turnout-nt-election/12559066">turnout</a> across Indigenous communities.</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Research</a> <a href="http://doi.org/10.25911/5df209771dd57" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shows</a> rates of informal votes are also higher in remote Indigenous communities.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">NLC accuses the Australian Electoral Commission of 'failing' Aboriginal voters [Matt Garrick, ABC]<br />Northern Territory land council has accused the AEC of failing Aboriginal people by not engaging more bush voters to have their say at the federal election.<a href="https://t.co/fCKRluGaoD">https://t.co/fCKRluGaoD</a> <a href="https://t.co/J3a04DyJJB">pic.twitter.com/J3a04DyJJB</a></p> <p>— First Nations Tgraph (@FNTelegraph) <a href="https://twitter.com/FNTelegraph/status/1514025685521952770?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 12, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p><strong>Barriers to First Nations people voting</strong></p> <p>Decisions made at the federal level over the last three decades appear to have provided significant obstacles to voting in some First Nations communities.</p> <p>First is the 1996 abolition of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Election Education and Information Service.</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Two</a> <a href="http://doi.org/10.22459/DAER.05.2012;%20https:/press.anu.edu.au/publications/directions-australian-electoral-reform" target="_blank" rel="noopener">studies</a> point to this abolition as a potential reason for a decline in voting rates in remote Indigenous communities since the mid-nineties.</p> <p>Established in 1979, this service existed specifically to increase voter registration rates among First Nations people. This was done by, for example, providing voter education and election materials in Indigenous languages.</p> <p>The second decision was the 2005 abolition of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission.</p> <p>First Nations people participated in five of the Commission’s elections administered by the same Australian Electoral Commission responsible for federal elections. Although voting was voluntary, <a href="https://openresearch-repository.anu.edu.au/bitstream/1885/41511/3/2003_DP252.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">analysis</a> shows participation was higher in northern and central Australia than in southern Australia.</p> <p>The third relevant policy change was the passage of the 2006 Electoral Integrity Bill. This introduced more stringent rules for the identification required to vote, making it more difficult for people in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">at least one remote community</a> to register to vote.</p> <p>The Morrison government’s unsuccessful 2021 proposal to introduce even tougher <a href="https://www.canberratimes.com.au/story/7488468/govt-accused-of-trumpist-move-to-suppress-voting/?cs=14264" target="_blank" rel="noopener">voter identification laws</a> would likely <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/oct/27/proposed-voter-id-laws-real-threat-to-rights-of-indigenous-australians-and-people-without-homes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">exacerbate this problem</a>.</p> <p>The fourth policy decision was a 2012 change to the Commonwealth Electoral Act, known as the “Federal Direct Enrolment and Update”.</p> <p>This enabled the Australian Electoral Commission to register eligible Australians to vote based on information available through several government agencies. These include Centrelink/the Department of Human Services, the Australian Taxation Office, and the National Exchange of Vehicle and Driver Information Service.</p> <p>But the Electoral Commission has <a href="http://doi.org/10.25911/5df209771dd57" target="_blank" rel="noopener">chosen not to use this mechanism for enrolment in parts of Australia</a> where mail is sent to a single community address (“mail exclusion areas”).</p> <p>This means people living in many remote communities are not automatically added to the electoral roll, unlike most of the rest of Australia.</p> <p>West Arnhem Regional Council mayor Matthew Ryan and Yalu Aboriginal Corporation chairman Ross Mandi launched an official complaint to the Australian Human Rights Commissioner over this issue in June last year.</p> <p>They <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-06-19/nt-voters-racial-discrimination-human-rights-commission/100227762" target="_blank" rel="noopener">argued</a> failure to apply the Federal Direct Enrolment and Update in remote communities represents a breach of the Racial Discrimination Act.</p> <p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">survey</a> of residents in one remote community on South Australia’s APY lands found a lack of information contributed to low participation in elections.</p> <p>Obstacles included:</p> <ul> <li> <p>a lack of materials available in appropriate languages</p> </li> <li> <p>uncertainty about how to cast a formal vote</p> </li> <li> <p>problems related to literacy, and</p> </li> <li> <p>a lack of appropriate identification necessary to enrol.</p> </li> </ul> <p>In October last year, the Australian Electoral Commission announced new funding for its <a href="https://www.aec.gov.au/media/2021/10-28.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Indigenous Electoral Participation program</a> with the aim of increasing enrolment rates; the upcoming election will show if the program is working.</p> <p><strong>Lingiari</strong></p> <p>Given that voting is compulsory in Australia, non-participation is a concern in any election. But these issues are likely to be particularly relevant in the 2022 federal election, at least in the seat of Lingiari.</p> <p>Lingiari covers all of the Northern Territory outside the greater Darwin/Palmerston area. So it is the one House of Representatives division where Indigenous Australians (many of them living in remote communities) have clear electoral <a href="http://doi.org/10.25911/5df209771dd57" target="_blank" rel="noopener">power</a>.</p> <p>Providing more mobile polling booths could help make voting easier for people in remote Indigenous communities. Currently, these booths can be present for as little as two hours during an entire election period.</p> <p>There is also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8497.2010.01552.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">evidence</a> Indigenous people are more likely to vote in elections for Indigenous candidates, and for candidates who have visited their community.</p> <p>Warren Snowden has represented the electorate since its creation in 2001, but he is not contesting this election; the seat is up for grabs.</p> <p>Indigenous people will determine who takes Snowden’s place. But how many of them vote may be limited by their ability to enrol, the availability of information in an appropriate language, and access a polling booth.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/181194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/morgan-harrington-1207111" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Morgan Harrington</a>, Research Fellow, Centre for Aboriginal Economic Policy Research, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-national-university-877" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/past-policies-have-created-barriers-to-voting-in-remote-first-nations-communities-181194" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original article</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: The Australian Electoral Commision (<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/auselectoralcom/48720382352/in/album-72157710806573631/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Flickr</a>)</em></p>

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Peter van Onselen reveals past abuse in debate with Grace Tame

<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article mentions paedophilia, child sexual abuse and rape.</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Grace Tame has called out Peter van Onselen, after the pair engaged in a heated conversation on Twitter that saw him disclose that he was also a victim of child sexual abuse.</p> <p dir="ltr">Van Onselen previously wrote in <em>The Australian </em>that he was “lucky” to not be abused by a notorious paedophile he had gained the attention of, and has now said that wasn’t the case.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-efd29e63-7fff-4e4d-1ca1-6027eb4c3f72"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">The conversation was sparked by van Onselen commenting on a separate tweet by Dr Gemma Carey, suggesting that her family being banned from the GP clinic they had been seeing for a long time was “a sign that you’re a complete pain in the arse”.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">That’s how I felt when as a survivor myself of child sexual abuse (he was convicted) she accused me of being a threat to my wife. Unfortunately you then helped her raise money when I had the temerity to ask her to apologise. Thanks for all your support.</p> <p>— Peter van Onselen 🎣 (@vanOnselenP) <a href="https://twitter.com/vanOnselenP/status/1509487096087838722?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 31, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Grace Tame retweeted a screenshot of his comment with the caption, “When you victimise a vulnerable person, that’s a pretty good sign too.”</p> <p dir="ltr">This prompted van Onselen to say he was a victim of child sexual abuse from a person who was convicted at the time that he shared his story to police.</p> <p dir="ltr">Tame replied noting that the person who he said abused him hadn’t been convicted of crimes against him, writing that “co-opting other survivors’ experiences is a whole new low, mate”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Van Onselen also said Tame forced him to make the disclosure after she accused him of co-opting the stories of other victims of the same person.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You have made me say this which is incredibly distressing but there you go,” he wrote. “The police knew of three other boys he raped who didn’t want to testify. I was one of them.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-c9360548-7fff-98c4-be3f-6ea3a0913765"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“I was going off your own words, Peter. You are responsible for when and what you publicly disclose, not me. I ask again that you leave me alone now,” Tame replied, attaching a screenshot from his article in <em>The Australian</em>.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">That’s how I felt when as a survivor myself of child sexual abuse (he was convicted) she accused me of being a threat to my wife. Unfortunately you then helped her raise money when I had the temerity to ask her to apologise. Thanks for all your support.</p> <p>— Peter van Onselen 🎣 (@vanOnselenP) <a href="https://twitter.com/vanOnselenP/status/1509487096087838722?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 31, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Like lots of survivors I have sought to not go public about what happened to me. I spoke to the police about exactly that as my abuser was being sentenced. Please stop shaming me for not having your courage to choose to go public.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I have not shamed you, not once,” Tame replied. “You’re manipulating this entire situation. I have pointed out exactly what I have known to be true.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Tame returned to Twitter on Friday morning to explain the situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I stood up for a friend whom Peter demeaned unsolicitedly,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He then used ‘convicted’ paedophilia survivorship as a defence, in a tweet he copied and pasted several times - to me a paedophilia survivor. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Prior, he publicly aserted me he was “not sexually abused”, so I called him out.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-6b4eeb3f-7fff-b3a1-9376-35d9f05c57ec"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Earlier the same day, she asserted that every survivor “deserves to be heard and respected”, but that trauma shouldn’t “excuse bad behaviour”.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Every survivor of rape and abuse deserves to be heard and receive compassion. Every single one.</p> <p>Trauma, however, doesn’t excuse bad behaviour. It is not a weapon of provocation or oneupmanship to deploy in the face of others at your convenience, especially not fellow survivors.</p> <p>— Grace Tame (@TamePunk) <a href="https://twitter.com/TamePunk/status/1509669097759723523?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 31, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“It is not a weapon of provocation or one-up-manship to deploy in the face of others at your convenience, especially not fellow survivors.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Van Onselen originally wrote that he had been groomed by a paedophile but had not been abused in his <em>The Australian</em> piece.</p> <p dir="ltr">“To be very clear from the outset, I was not sexually abused, I am one of the lucky ones” he wrote at the time. </p> <p dir="ltr">“But only just. A teacher … tried to sexually assault me on a school trip. He was convicted for doing so to three other boys on that same trip.”</p> <p dir="ltr">But, he also wrote that he may have “dissociated” during the abuse and may “have blocked more that happened”.</p> <p dir="ltr">In his latest online spat, the Project co-host also referred to a previous altercation with Dr Carey, when he had threatened to sue her over a tweet suggesting he was a danger to his wife in an old photo with Christian Porter.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-bb3532b8-7fff-cbec-0089-5e80c870db32"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Roy Vandervegt (Adelaide Festival) / Getty Images</em></p>

News

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The gruesome past of the Amityville Horror house

<p dir="ltr">The Dutch Colonial house that stands at 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, New York, became known as the terrifying scene of horror that was the inspiration behind the iconic horror movie named after the town. </p> <p dir="ltr">The history of the house was so terrifying that one former owner was prompted to call in a priest, while another owner requested that the address of the house be changed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The dark past of the home stems back to November 1974, when 23-year-old Robert DeFeo Jr murdered six members of his family, including his parents, as they slept.</p> <p dir="ltr">The house then remained empty until over one year later, when new owners George and Kathy Lutz moved in with their three children in December 1975.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Lutzes paid just US$80,000 for the five-bedroom property, which is more than US$410,000 ($542,000 AUD) in today's money.</p> <p dir="ltr">The family were aware of the home’s grim past and public stigma, but agreed they would work through it and cope with the public perception. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, just to be sure, they called in a local priest to bless the house.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Lutz told ABC News that they called in the priest after unexplainable things started to occur in the house. </p> <p dir="ltr">He said the priest claimed he felt a slap from an unseen hand in the sewing room and heard a voice say “get out”. He then felt sick and his hands began to bleed.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Lutz claimed that one night he also witnessed his wife levitating and claims he also heard his children's beds "flaming up and down on the floor".</p> <p dir="ltr">After just 28 days, the Lutzes fled the home and their lives returned to normal. </p> <p dir="ltr">At trial for the murder of his family, Robert DeFeo Jr pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity, which was rejected by the jury who sentenced him to six sentences of 25 years to life. </p> <p dir="ltr">The Lutzes secured a book deal about their alleged experiences in the home, with <em>The Amityville Horror: A True Story</em> selling more than 6 million copies, as well as being adapted into two films. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Realtor.com</em></p>

Real Estate

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Fresh insight into troubled past of Cleo's alleged abductor

<p><em><strong>Content warning: This article contains references to deceased Indigenous individuals. </strong></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Audio has emerged of the woman who raised Terence Darrell Kelly, Cleo Smith’s alleged abductor, revealing that he had a tumultuous early life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 36-year-old Carnarvon man was removed from his mother’s care as a two-year-old and was raised by Penny Walker, a respected member of the Indigenous community.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“His mum didn’t want him and she threw him away,” she </span><a href="https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/cleo-smith/cleo-smith-found-accused-kidnapper-terence-darrell-kellys-traumatic-childhood-revealed-c-4476537"><span style="font-weight: 400;">said </span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">in an interview from 2019.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I looked down at him and this little boy - God was giving me something back in my life what the welfare took off me - my children.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Walker said Mr Kelly’s mother was a drug addict and didn’t want him.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She then took him in and raised him alongside her two grandsons - who she was caring for after her daughter died from multiple sclerosis (MS).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In the </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/audio-files-reveal-difficult-upbringing-of-cleo-smith-s-alleged-abductor-terence-kelly-20211108-p596y8.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">interview</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, she also spoke about her own traumatic childhood as a member of the Stolen Generation. She spoke of the poor treatment she received as a child at the Moore River Native Settlement and New Norcia Mission, where she was the victim of sexual abuse and beatings.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Walker said this led her to become an alcoholic, which resulted in her six children being taken away. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She then turned her life around and became a respected member of the Indigenous community in Carnarvon.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Walker died in 2020, leaving Mr Kelly alone in their Carnarvon home.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">When police arrived at the home last week, they found Cleo in a room sitting upright and playing with toys.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height:281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7845436/terence-kelly1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/e959eb1a366f41e8bff36ecb3282bf94" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Terence Darrell Kelly boards a plane to Perth, where he will stay in custody until he returns to court in December. Image: Getty Images</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mr Kelly was then arrested and faced Carnarvon Magistrate’s Court for several </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/i-m-coming-for-you-suspect-charged-in-cleo-s-alleged-abduction" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">charges</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, including forcibly taking a child under 16.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">His neighbours described Mr Kelly as a “quiet” and “lonely” individual.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The day after his court appearance, he was flown from Carnarvon to Perth and spent his first night in a maximum-security prison.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Detectives have since returned to his home as part of their investigation into Cleo’s abduction.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Police said they don’t believe the alleged abduction was planned and are investigating a theory that Mr Kelly came across Cleo by chance, according to </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.perthnow.com.au/news/cleo-smith/cleo-smith-found-accused-kidnapper-terence-darrell-kellys-traumatic-childhood-revealed-c-4476537" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">news.com.au</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Mr Kelly has been remanded in custody for four weeks and is due to return to court in December.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

Legal

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Chilling reincarnation stories: meet 6 people who’ve lived before

<p>“When I was your age, I changed your diaper,” said the dark-haired boy to his father.</p> <p>Ron* (* names of boys and their family members were changed to protect privacy) looked down at his smiling son, who had not yet turned two.</p> <p>He thought it was a very strange thing to say, but he figured he had misheard him.</p> <p>But as baby Sam made similar remarks over the next few months, Ron and his wife Cathy gradually pieced together an odd story: Sam believed that he was his deceased grandfather, Ron’s late father, who had returned to his family.</p> <p>More intrigued than alarmed, Ron and Cathy asked Sam, “How did you come back?”</p> <p>“I just went whoosh and came out the portal,” he responded.</p> <p>Although Sam was a precocious child – he’d been speaking in full sentences from the age of 18 months – his parents were stunned to hear him use a word like portal, and they encouraged him to say more.</p> <p>They asked Sam if he’d had any siblings, and he replied that he’d had a sister who “turned into a fish”.</p> <p>“Who turned her into a fish?”</p> <p>“Some bad guys. She died.”</p> <p>Eerily enough, Sam’s grandfather had a sister who had been murdered 60 years earlier; her body was found floating in San Francisco Bay.</p> <p>Ron and Cathy then gently asked Sam, “Do you know how you died?”</p> <p>Sam jerked back and slapped the top of his head as if in pain.</p> <p>One year before Sam was born, his grandfather had died of a cerebral haemorrhage.</p> <h4>Is reincarnation real?</h4> <p>Today more than 75 million people in America – across all religions – believe in reincarnation, according to a Pew Forum on Religion &amp; Public Life poll; a separate survey reports that roughly one in ten people can recall his or her own past life.</p> <p>There have been many reality-TV series and documentaries on the topic such as Ghost Inside My Child, about children with past-life memories, and Reincarnated: Past Lives, in which people go under hypnosis to discover their earlier existences.</p> <p>Why this fascination? Part of reincarnation’s appeal has to do with its hopeful underlying promise: that we can do better in our next lives.</p> <p>“With reincarnation, there is always another opportunity,” explains Stafford Betty, a professor of religious studies at California State University, Bakersfield, and the author of The Afterlife Unveiled.</p> <p>“The universe takes on a merciful hue. It’s a great improvement over the doctrine of eternal hell.”</p> <p>Yet despite the popular interest, few scientists give reincarnation much credence.</p> <p>They regard it as a field filled with charlatans, scams and tall tales of having once been royalty.</p> <p>Reincarnation is “an intriguing psychological phenomenon,” says Christopher C. French, a professor of psychology at Goldsmiths, University of London, who heads a unit that studies claims of paranormal experiences.</p> <p>“But I think it is far more likely that such apparent memories are, in fact, false memories rather than accurate memories of events that were experienced in a past life.”</p> <p>For more than 45 years, a team at the Division of Perceptual Studies at the University of Virginia (UVA) has been collecting stories of people who can recall their past lives.</p> <p>And if the professors determine that there is some merit to these memories, their findings will call into question the idea that our humanity ends with our death.</p> <h4>“Mummy, I’m so homesick”</h4> <p>Among the UVA case studies is the story of a boy named Ryan from Oklahoma, USA.</p> <p>A few years ago, the four-year-old woke up screaming at two in the morning.</p> <p>Over the preceding months, he’d been pleading with his bewildered mother, Cyndi, to take him to the house where he’d “lived before.”</p> <p>In tears, he’d beg her to return him to his glittering life in Hollywood – complete with a big house, a pool, and fast cars – that was so fabulous, he once said, “I can’t live in these conditions. My last home was much better.”</p> <p>When Cyndi went into her son’s room that night, Ryan kept repeating the same words – “Mommy, I’m so homesick” – as she tried to comfort him and rock him to sleep.</p> <p>“He was like a little old man who couldn’t remember all the details of his life. He was so frustrated and sad,” Cyndi says.</p> <p>The next morning, she went to the library, borrowed a pile of books about old Hollywood, and brought them home.</p> <p>With Ryan in her lap, Cyndi went through the volumes; she was hoping the pictures might soothe him.</p> <p>Instead, he became more and more excited as they looked at one particular book.</p> <p>When they came to a still of a scene from a 1932 movie called Night After Night, he stopped her.</p> <p>“Mama,” he shouted, pointing to one of the actors, who wasn’t identified. “That guy’s me! The old me!”</p> <p>“I was shocked,” Cyndi admits. “I never thought that we’d find the person he thought he was.”</p> <p>But she was equally relieved. “Ryan had talked about his other life and been so unhappy, and now we had something to go on.”</p> <p>Although neither Cyndi nor her husband believed in reincarnation, she went back to the library the next day and checked out a book about children who possessed memories of their past lives.</p> <p>At the end of it was a note from the author, Professor Jim Tucker, saying that he wanted to hear from the parents of kids with similar stories.</p> <p>Cyndi sat down to write him a letter.</p> <h4>The ghost hunters</h4> <p><span>Tucker was a child psychiatrist in private practice when he heard about the reincarnation research being conducted by Dr Ian Stevenson, founder and director of the Division of Perceptual Studies at UVA. </span></p> <p><span>He was intrigued and began working with the division in 1996; six years later, when Stevenson retired, Tucker took over as the leader of the division’s past-life research. </span></p> <p><span>T</span><span>he UVA team has gathered more than 2500 documented cases of children from all over the world who have detailed memories of former lives, including that of a California toddler with a surprisingly good golf swing who said he had once been legendary athlete Bobby Jones; a Midwestern five-year-old who shared some of the same memories and physical traits – blindness in his left eye, a mark on his neck, a limp – as a long-deceased brother; and a girl in India who woke up one day and began speaking fluently in a dialect she’d never heard before. </span></p> <p><span>(Tucker describes these cases in his book </span><em>Return to Life: Extraordinary Cases of Children Who Remember Their Past Lives</em><span><em>.</em>)</span></p> <p>The children in the UVA collection typically began talking about their previous lives when they were two or three years old and stopped by the age of six or seven.</p> <p>“That is around the same time that we all lose our memories of early childhood,” Tucker says.</p> <p>When he first learns about a subject, he checks for fraud, deliberate or unconscious, by asking two questions: “Do the parents seem credible?” and “Could the child have picked up the memories through TV, overheard conversations, or other ordinary means?”</p> <p>If he can rule out fraud, he and his team interview the child and his or her family to get a detailed account about the previous life.</p> <p>Then the researchers try to find a deceased person whose life matches the memories.</p> <p>This last part is essential because otherwise the child’s story would be just a fantasy.</p> <p>Close to three-quarters of the cases investigated by the team are “solved”, meaning that a person from the past matching the child’s memories is identified.</p> <p>In addition, nearly 20% of the kids in the UVA cases have naturally occurring marks or impairments that match scars and injuries on the past person.</p> <p>One boy who recalled being shot possessed two birthmarks – a large, ragged one over his left eye and a small, round one on the back of his head – which lined up like a bullet’s entrance and exit wounds.</p> <p>In the case of Ryan, the boy longing for a Hollywood past, an archivist pored over books in a film library until she found a person who appeared to be the man he’d singled out: Hollywood agent Marty Martyn, who made an unbilled cameo in Night After Night.</p> <p>After Cyndi spoke with Tucker, he interviewed Ryan, and then the family contacted Martyn’s daughter.</p> <p>She met with Tucker, Ryan and Cyndi, and along with public records, she confirmed more than 50 details that Ryan had reported about her father’s life, from his work history to the location and contents of his home.</p> <p>Cyndi felt tremendous relief when she was told that her son’s story matched Martyn’s. She says, “He wasn’t crazy! There really was another family.”</p> <h4>Plane on fire!</h4> <p>Tucker learned about the best-known recent reincarnation case study from TV producers.</p> <p>In 2002, he was contacted to work for and appear on a show about reincarnation (the programme never aired) and was told about James Leininger, a four-year-old Louisiana boy who believed that he was once a World War II pilot who had been shot down over Iwo Jima.</p> <p>Bruce and Andrea Leininger first realised that James had these memories when he was two and woke up from a nightmare, yelling, “Airplane crash! Plane on fire! Little man can’t get out!”</p> <p>He also knew details about WWII aircraft that would seem impossible for a toddler to know.</p> <p>For instance, when Andrea referred to an object on the bottom of a toy plane as a bomb, James corrected her by saying it was a drop tank.</p> <p>Another time, he and his parents were watching a History Channel documentary, and the narrator called a Japanese plane a Zero.</p> <p>James insisted that it was a Tony. In both cases, he was right.</p> <p>The boy said that he had also been named James in his previous life and that he’d flown off a ship named the Natoma.</p> <p>The Leiningers discovered a WWII aircraft carrier called the USS Natoma Bay.</p> <p>In its squadron was a pilot named James Huston, who had been killed in action over the Pacific.</p> <p>James talked incessantly about his plane crashing, and he was disturbed by nightmares a few times a week.</p> <p>His desperate mother contacted past-life therapist Carol Bowman for help.</p> <p>Bowman told Andrea not to dismiss what James was saying and to assure him that whatever happened had occurred in another life and body and he was safe now.</p> <p>Andrea followed her advice, and James’s dreams diminished. (His parents coauthored <em>Soul Survivor</em>, a 2009 book about their family’s story.)</p> <p>Professor French, who is familiar with Tucker’s work, says “the main problem with [his] investigating is that the research typically begins long after the child has been accepted as a genuine reincarnation by his or her family and friends.”</p> <p>About James Leininger, French says, “Although his parents insisted they never watched World War II documentaries or talked about military history, we do know that at 18 months of age, James was taken to a flight museum, where he was fascinated by the World War II planes."</p> <p>"In all probability, the additional details were unintentionally implanted by his parents and by a counsellor who was a firm believer in reincarnation.”</p> <p>Tucker says that he has additional documentation for many of James Leininger’s statements, and they were made before anyone in the family had heard of James Huston or the USS Natoma Bay.</p> <p>French responds that “children’s utterances are often ambiguous and open to interpretation.</p> <p>For example, perhaps James said something that just sounded a bit like Natoma?”</p> <p>Bruce Leininger, James’s father, understands French’s disbelief.</p> <p>“I was the original sceptic,” he says. “But the information James gave us was so striking and unusual. If someone wants to look at the facts and challenge them, they’re welcome to examine everything we have.”</p> <p>Bruce laughs at the idea that he and his wife planted the memories, saying, “You try telling a two-year-old what to believe; you’re not going to be able to give them a script.”</p> <h4>The boy who fulfilled his past life’s destiny</h4> <p>Born in Seattle in 1991, Sonam Wangdu was only two years old when he realised he was actually the fourth reincarnation of the original Tibetan lama (“lama” is the Tibetan word for “guru”), Dezhung Rinpoche I.</p> <p>The realisation was the culmination of a number of signs that had been accumulating since before the boy was even born.</p> <p>These included the visions of his mother and her own lama, as well as the words of the third reincarnation of Dezhung, himself (Dezhung Rinpoche III), who informed his acolytes in 1987 (the year of his death), “I will be reborn in Seattle.”</p> <p>In 1996, the boy, who by then only answered to the name, Trulku-la (which means “reincarnation”), left his family – forever – to be raised by monks while studying Tibetan Buddhism in Kathmandu, Nepal and eventually becoming the head of a monastery there.</p> <p>Arriving in Nepal, “dressed in gold and maroon robes and riding on a luggage cart pushed by his mother, the little lama smiled widely,” reported SeattleMet in a 2016 follow-up story tracing the boy’s journey over the past 20 years.</p> <p>“When asked how long he would stay in Nepal, though, the little boy was serene, almost stoic. ‘Lots of time,’ he said. ‘I’m just going to stay here a long time.’”</p> <p>And that has proven to be true. The boy is now in his 23rd year of life as the fourth reincarnation of Dezhung Rinpoche I.</p> <h4>The reincarnation of Franz Lizst</h4> <p><span>Vladimir Levinski, who was born David Secombe in England in the 1930s, had such an innate gift for playing the piano that he was able to teach himself to be a concert pianist (when asked about lessons, he remarked, “I have no time for them, I have a technique of my own.”) </span></p> <p><span>So gifted was Levinski, and at such a young age, that he came to recognise himself as the reincarnation of Franz Lizst, the German composer and pianist. </span></p> <p><span>By age 21, he was performing for packed concert halls and known as the “Paganini of the Piano.” </span></p> <p><span>Unfortunately, Levinski’s interest in Lizst at times came to border on obsession, such as when he was playing a concert on January 23, 1952, and stopped playing halfway through to talk about Lizst. </span></p> <p><span>The audience was disappointed, but Levinski, for his part, felt the concert was a “tremendous success,” in part because he experienced it as only the reincarnation of the renowned composer and performer, Lizst, could.</span></p> <h4>Long live hope</h4> <p>Tucker, too, knows that for most scientists, reincarnation will always seem like a fantastical notion regardless of how much evidence is presented.</p> <p>For him, success doesn’t mean persuading the naysayers to accept the existence of reincarnation but rather encouraging people to consider the meaning of consciousness and how it might survive our deaths.</p> <p>“I believe in the possibility of reincarnation, which is different from saying that I believe in reincarnation,” he explains.</p> <p>“I do think these cases require an explanation that is out of the ordinary, although that certainly doesn’t mean we all reincarnate.”</p> <p>Does Tucker believe that in the future, there will be a child who is able to recall his own memories?</p> <p>“Memories of past lives are not very common, so I don’t expect that,” he says. “But I do hope there’s some continuation after death for me and for all of us.”</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article first appeared in <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/thought-provoking/the-children-whove-lived-before" target="_blank">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Blast from the past! Queen shares never-before-seen pictures

<p>Queen Elizabeth has released a series of rare photographs to mark World Photography Day.</p> <p>The Royal Family shared three images, as they capture "a few moments where the Queen has been pictured behind the lens”.</p> <p>The first photograph shows Her Majesty teaching her two eldest, Prince Charles and Princess Anne, how to use a camera during their annual stay at Balmoral in 1952.</p> <p>The sweet image was followed by another showing the Monarch squinting behind a yellow camera and snapping photos during a visit to the South Sea islands of Tuvalu in 1982.</p> <p>It’s a memory that is sure to have been bittersweet for the Queen as she is sat alongside her late husband, the Duke of Edinburgh.</p> <p>The third photograph was captured of the Queen during her 1977 Australian tour, posing with the same camera in Lindsay Park Stud.</p> <p>The post follows behind Kate Middleton and her husband Prince William taking to social media to celebrate World Photography Day.</p> <p>The couple recognised a few of Britain's youngest and most hopeful photographers.</p> <p>"Photography has an amazing ability to create a lasting record of what we have all experienced &amp; are experiencing,” the pair wrote in an official statement to Twitter.</p> <p>"That's why this #WorldPhotographyDay we wanted to celebrate the youth of the #HoldStill2020 photography project and share images from the youngest finalists".</p> <p>The #HoldStill2020 project is an initiative made by the couple during lockdown.</p> <p>The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge asked the public to take images they believed reflected the pandemic.</p> <p>Over 31,000 entries were submitted to the project by hopeful photographers, with just 100 selected by five judges.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Photography has an amazing ability to create a lasting record of what we have all experienced &amp; are experiencing. <br /><br />That’s why this <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WorldPhotographyDay?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#WorldPhotographyDay</a> we wanted to celebrate the youth of the <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/HoldStill2020?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#HoldStill2020</a> photography project and share images from the youngest finalists. <a href="https://t.co/MIyBJJqFlr">pic.twitter.com/MIyBJJqFlr</a></p> — The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (@KensingtonRoyal) <a href="https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal/status/1428308671432470533?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 19, 2021</a></blockquote> <p>A few images from young finalists were shared on social media: "there is so much talent, creativity, and curiosity displayed in each and every one of these pictures".</p> <p>Duchess Kate released a book of some of the images titled Hold Still: A Portrait of Our Nation in 2020.</p> <p>The royal mother kicked off the book with her own words, writing: "when we look back at the COVID-19 pandemic in decades to come, we will think of the challenges we all faced – the loved ones we lost, the extended isolation from our families and friends and the strain placed on our key workers."</p> <p>"But we will also remember the positives: the incredible acts of kindness, the helpers and heroes who emerged from all walks of life, and how together we adapted to a new normal.</p> <p>"Through Hold Still, I wanted to use the power of photography to create a lasting record of what we were all experiencing – to capture individuals' stories and document significant moments for families and communities as we lived through the pandemic."</p>

Beauty & Style

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The last surviving village is a portal to the past

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Nestled across three acres of land in north-eastern Singapore lies Kampong Lorong Buangkok, Singapore’s last surviving village where fragments of the 60s are still kicking on.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Unlike Singapore’s towering skyscrapers and urban sprawl, the squat bungalows of the village remain as a snapshot of how the city used to look.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">kampong</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> - meaning “village” in Milay - is made up of about 25 wooden, single-storey dwellings with tin roofs scattered around a </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">suaru</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> (small mosque).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Native flora that has since disappeared from the city - such as the </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">ketapang</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, a native coastal tree - grow freely around the kampong.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though Singapore is now known for its soaring skyline and iconic landmarks like the Marina Bay Sands towers or colourful Gardens by the Bay, up until the 1970s kampongs were found everywhere, with researchers from the National University of Singapore estimating there were as many as 220 found on the island.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CF7WSk1p5to/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CF7WSk1p5to/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by William Ong/Singapore (@ongwill)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now, a few still exist on surrounding islands, but Lorong Buangkok is the last on the mainland.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As Singapore underwent industrialisation, hundreds of traditional villages were bulldozed to make way for high-rise flats and skyscrapers.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Lorong Buangkok escaped the fate of many other kampongs partly as the area surrounding it was less desirable for development than elsewhere in Singapore.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The other reason is Sng Mui Hong, who has lived nearly her whole life in the village and has a resolute commitment to preserve the sole surviving kampong.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Since the end of Singapore’s lockdown, local guide Kyanta Yap has noticed growing interest in Luong Buangkok.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s not that surprising since no-one can travel, and this is a unique local tourist spot,” he said. “There are also many who visit on their own; the general public, bikers, joggers and even groups organised on Meetup.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though the Singapore government has attempted to redevelop the area in the past, an uproar of objections have seen the government grow to appreciate the rural relics and culture the village represents.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“When the time comes for us to finalise our plans for the entire area, the government should work closely with relevant stakeholders to ensure developments are carried out in a holistic and coherent way,” Desmond Lee, the Minister for National Development, has said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This must involve deep engagement with the kampong families living there at that time, to understand and consider their needs and interests.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Nassim, one of the kampong’s residents, said: “It’s good the government now sees the importance of our kampong.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You need to leave something behind that reminds our young of how this country came about. We came from these humble huts.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credit: Grps / Wikipedia</span></em></p>

International Travel

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Rare chance to buy ritzy house with murderous past

<p><span>A ritzy home on the water of one of Brisbane’s most fabulous suburbs has hit the market, but it’s dark, murderous past has continued to haunt its walls.</span><br /><br /><span>What was once a party house filled with socialites on the banks of the Brisbane River, turned into a murder scene in the 1950s when Hamilton resident Sylvia Joyce Clare Ferguson was convicted of the murder of her rich husband Roy Ferguson.</span><br /><br /><span>The idyllic four bedroom Spanish-style home sits at 2 Grays Road, Hamilton, was a sight then and even now it continues to hold against the multimillion-dollar estates that surround it in the blue-chip suburb.</span><br /><br /><span>With views of the river, city and Story Bridge – it’s not wonder why this listing is believed to go as quick as it possibly can.</span><br /><br /><span>A True Crime episode by The Courier-Mail’s Kate Kyriacou explored the deep mystery of the little blue house, saying that Roy and his brother Jack owned pubs near Newcastle and Forbes, a poultry farm in Charleston, New South Wales and other properties, as well as directorships in various companies including breweries.</span><br /><br /><span>Mrs Ferguson was a simple barmaid in Newcastle when she met Roy.</span><br /><br /><span>They eventually settled down with each other and moved into the waterfront home in Hamilton, Brisbane.</span><br /><br /><span>The scandal began when she was jailed along with her lover and a friend over Mr Ferguson’s murder.</span><br /><br /><span>She protested her innocence from prison years later.</span><br /><br /><span>The home retains so much charm with a library and multipurpose room, indoor living and entertaining space as well as a living room with a fireplace.</span><br /><br /><span>The master suite has its very own floor with ensuite, a separate powder room, walk in robe, a living area and a balcony looking out over some of the best river views in Brisbane.</span><br /><br /><span>The home last sold over 15 years ago and was described as being “like nothing else you will find on the market”, <em>realestate.com.au</em> wrote in the listing.</span><br /><br /><span>“Boasting a character facade and traditional interior with decorative ceilings, beautiful timber floors, stained glass and classic chandeliers throughout, this is an exclusive offering with endless opportunities to make this home your own.”</span><br /><br /><span>The property is set to go to auction on Saturday March 20 at 10am.</span></p>

Real Estate

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Prince Charles haunted by past as The Crown blasts affair

<p><span>The Prince of Wales is not the most popular royal member, and season four of <em>The Crown</em> has only plummeted his approval rating even further.</span><br /><br /><span>While popular with only 47 per cent of Briton, Prince William and Her Majesty sits at 73 per cent.</span><br /><br /><span>The duchess of Cornwall is liked by only 34 per cent of the population.</span><br /><br /><span>Charles has the Netflix series, <em>The Crown</em>, to thank for that – a program watched by more viewers than William's 2011 wedding to Kate Middleton.</span></p> <p><img id="__mcenew" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7839171/queen-prince-william-2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/fcad4d5d3e0648fb920577da9920d79d" /><br /><span>The current season portrays him as emotionally abusive toward his now-deceased ex-wife, Princess Diana.</span><br /><br /><span>The wave of backlash against the 72-year-old heir has been so intense that the pair have disabled comments on their official Clarence House Instagram account.</span><br /><br /><span>There have also been demands for the royal to stand down as the next King of England.</span><br /><br /><span>"Charles experienced extreme hate when his affair with Camilla was outed, and when Diana was killed – but it was never as bad as this," a source for Woman’s Day said.</span><br /><br /><span>"The public is reliving those moments now – though obviously in a dramatised way – only this time everyone has a social media account through which to spout their vitriol.</span><br /><br /><span>“Clarence House is scrambling to contain it, but not many of his PR flunkies truly believe his reputation can recover from this."</span><br /><br /><span>There are rumours that The Queen may give in to demands to have Prince Charles step down.</span><br /><br /><span>"For the Queen, the monarchy comes above all else – even her own son," says an insider.</span><br /><br /><span>"At the rate things are going with everyone turning on Charles, Prince Andrew in hot water for his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Harry leaving the family, she feels she can really only trust leaving her empire in Prince William's hands.</span><br /><br /><span>“He and Catherine have proved themselves to be a steady ship time and time again."</span><br /><br /><span>"At 94, the Queen should be enjoying her twilight years. Instead, the spectre of her son's failed marriage is back to bite them all.</span><br /><br /><span>"It's going to be huge if one of her final acts is to cast Charles and Camilla aside and declare that <em>the crown</em> will go to William."</span></p>

Relationships

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“Acknowledge the past”: Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan call on the Commonwealth

<p>Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan have called on the Commonwealth to “acknowledge” its colonial past, even if it is “uncomfortable”.</p> <p>Speaking in a video-link discussion on institutional and systemic racism with young leaders from the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, Harry said the UK has to reckon with its historic involvement in other countries that now make up the Commonwealth.</p> <p>“When you look across the Commonwealth, there is no way that we can move forward unless we acknowledge the past,” he said.</p> <p>“So many people have done such an amazing incredible job of acknowledging the past and trying to right those wrongs, but I think we all acknowledge on there is so much more still to do.</p> <p>“It’s not going to be easy and in some cases it’s not going to be comfortable but it needs to be done, because guess what, everybody benefits.”</p> <p>The Commonwealth consists of 54 member states, nearly all of which were previously ruled by the British Empire.</p> <p>Meghan added: “We’re going to have to be a little uncomfortable right now, because it’s only in pushing through that discomfort that we get to the other side of this and find the place where a high tide raises all ships.</p> <p>“Equality does not put anyone on the back foot, it puts us all on the same footing – which is a fundamental human right.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Watch the discussion now and share your thoughts on the actions we can take to create a fairer and more just world: <a href="https://t.co/WR7grpu9fG">https://t.co/WR7grpu9fG</a><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TeamQCT?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TeamQCT</a></p> — The Queen's Commonwealth Trust (@queenscomtrust) <a href="https://twitter.com/queenscomtrust/status/1280109784042217472?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 6, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>The pair also spoke about unconscious bias and the role it plays in people’s lives.</p> <p>“We can’t deny or ignore the fact that all of us have been educated to see the world differently,” Harry said.</p> <p>“However, once you start to realize that there is that bias there, then you need to acknowledge it, you need to do the work to become more aware.”</p> <p>Meghan reflected on her personal experience with unconscious bias and racism.</p> <p>“It’s not just in the big moments, it’s in the quiet moments where racism and unconscious bias lies and thrives. It makes it confusing for a lot of people to understand the role that they play in that, either passively and actively,” she said.</p> <p>“So much of what I’ve come to the understanding of, especially in learning even more about it of late and obviously having had personal experience with it as well, but in people’s complacency they’re complicit, and that I think is the shift that we’re seeing.”</p> <p>The conversation came as the Black Lives Matter movement continues in the US, where the royal couple is residing.</p> <p>Last week, Harry said he regretted not having done enough to “<a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/02/europe/prince-harry-institutional-racism-endemic-intl-scli/index.html">right the wrongs</a>” of the “endemic” institutional racism in society for young people.</p> <p>Last month Meghan <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/beauty-style/meghan-markle-addresses-black-lives-matter-movement-in-new-video-the-only-wrong-thing-to-say-is-to-say-nothing">addressed the killing of George Floyd</a> in a video message to her old high school, saying: “The only wrong thing to say is to say nothing.”</p>

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