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Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

<p>A pilot has proposed to his flight attendant girlfriend just minutes before take off in a heart-warming display of love. </p> <p>Polish pilot Konrad Hanc was captured emerging from the cockpit before embarking on a flight to Kraków to make a surprising announcement over the PA system. </p> <p>Hanc introduced himself to the passengers before explaining the real reason for his message. </p> <p>“On today’s flight there is a very special person," he began.</p> <p>“Ladies and gentlemen, about one and a half years ago in this job I met the most wonderful person that completely changed my life."</p> <p>“You are most precious to me. You are my greatest dream come true. This is why I have to ask you a favour, honey."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by LOT Polish Airlines (@flylot)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Will you marry me?” he asked while getting down on one knee, as another flight attendant handed him a bouquet of flowers. </p> <p>His girlfriend, Paula, sprinted up the aisle of the plane before leaping into the arms of her future husband. </p> <p>Passengers watched on in anticipation for her answer with one yelling, “Did she say yes?” to which the beaming captain responded: “She said yes!”</p> <p>Hanc explained that he chose to pop the question on the flight to the Polish city as he met Paula on the same flight just 18 months ago. </p> <p>As the pair embraced in a hug and kiss, passengers erupted in applause, with many taking to the now viral Facebook post to send them well wishes. </p> <p>“I love this! Sweet couple!” one person wrote.</p> <p>”TOTALLYYYYY LOVE IN THE AIR,” another enthusiastic person commented, to which the airline responded: “YES, love IS in the air!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: LOT Polish Airlines</em></p>

Relationships

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Everything you need to know before you travel to Vietnam

<p dir="ltr">So you’ve booked your flight to Vietnam to experience the best of south-east Asia. </p> <p dir="ltr">When travelling to Vietnam, and other Asian countries, there are a handful of tips and tricks to be aware of to ensure you have a smooth sailing travel experience. </p> <p dir="ltr">In comparison to travelling around Western countries, exploring Vietnam comes with a unique set of circumstances, and being prepared for every situation will make sure your trip is one to remember. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Cash is king</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">When it comes to planning your trip to Vietnam, other than booking your flights, hotels and travel insurance, one of your first priorities should be getting your hands on cash. </p> <p dir="ltr">The Vietnamese Dong is a unique currency to get used to, given that $5 AUD is equal to approximately $82,000 VND. </p> <p dir="ltr">Most of the restaurants, cafes and tourist attractions you’ll be heading to will only accept cash, so make sure you seek out an ATM (most ATMs will let you translate to English) and always have a decent amount of cash on hand. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Go off the beaten track </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Vietnam has so much more to offer than the major cities. </p> <p dir="ltr">While Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City have a lot of interesting history, tourist attractions and unique cultural experiences, staying in these cities for the entirety of your Vietnam trip is limiting. </p> <p dir="ltr">Make sure you explore coastal towns such as Hoi An, Hue and Phu Quoc, explore the rolling rice fields of Sapa, and don’t forget to book your cruise around the picturesque Ha Long Bay. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Don't be afraid of the food </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">While Vietnamese food is maybe not what you’re used to eating everyday, part of experiencing a different culture is immersing yourself in the food scene. </p> <p dir="ltr">One of the best things you can do when you arrive at your destination is to book a food tour with a local guide (there are many available through TripAdvisor), to take you around and show you a variety of dishes to become accustomed to. </p> <p dir="ltr">Your food tour guide will also help ease your anxiety over ordering food in different places. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another top tip: Restaurants will often be called the name of the dishes they serve. For example, places that sell the delicious Bahn Mi bread rolls will have “Bahn Mi” in their name. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Google Translate is your friend </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">While your hotel staff will often speak good English, other vendors at restaurants or markets may not be as fluent. </p> <p dir="ltr">Downloading the Google Translate app on your phone will allow you to communicate with locals quickly and easily, by typing in what you want to say in English, and letting the app read out the sentence in Vietnamese. </p> <p dir="ltr">Also, the app’s camera feature lets you hover your smartphone camera over something written in Vietnamese, before translating it into English in seconds. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Beware of scams</strong> </p> <p dir="ltr">One of the most common scams in Vietnam is taxi scams. Some people will claim to be a taxi and then jack up the prices once they take you to your destination. </p> <p dir="ltr">To avoid this, only get in registered taxis (that actually look like taxis and not just a random car), and download Grab, which is the Vietnamese version of Uber and is just as easy to use. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another common scam is for market vendors to hike up prices for food and souvenirs, so be ready to barter for a better price. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Make friends with the locals </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">The Vietnamese people are some of the loveliest, kindest and most accommodating in the world. </p> <p dir="ltr">People on the street, hotel staff and restaurant workers are always happy to help you with queries or concerns, so make the most of their local knowledge and don’t be afraid to approach people with a smile. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

International Travel

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Not all mourning happens after bereavement – for some, grief can start years before the death of a loved one

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p>For many people, grief starts not at the point of death, but from the moment a loved one is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness.</p> <p>Whether it’s the diagnosis of an advanced cancer or a non-malignant condition such as dementia, heart failure or Parkinson’s disease, the psychological and emotional process of grief can begin many months or even years before the person dies. This experience of mourning a future loss is known as <a href="https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-69892-2_1006-1">anticipatory grief</a>.</p> <p>While not experienced by everyone, anticipatory grief is a <a href="https://spcare.bmj.com/content/bmjspcare/early/2022/02/10/bmjspcare-2021-003338.full.pdf?casa_token=IWNMDFN5SoIAAAAA:2EybwyPcKu73VdrACTNk7jITor-mMIXK8rv76arXgdjV9cA2Y0MV0LyZLLwcYe1rZUAQymOzFYo">common</a> part of the grieving process and can include a range of conflicting, often difficult thoughts and emotions. For example, as well as feelings of loss, some people can experience guilt from wanting their loved one to be free of pain, or imagining what life will be like after they die.</p> <h2>Difficult to define, distressing to experience</h2> <p>Anticipatory grief has proved <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">challenging to define</a>. A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">systematic review</a> of research studies on anticipatory grief identified over 30 different descriptions of pre-death grief. This lack of consensus has limited research progress, because there’s no shared understanding of how to identify anticipatory grief.</p> <p>Therese Rando, a <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315800806-9/grief-mourning-accommodating-loss-therese-rando">prominent theorist</a>, has proposed that anticipatory grief can help prepare for death, contributing to a more positive grieving experience post-bereavement. Rando also suggests that pre-death mourning can aid with adjustment to the loss of a loved one and reduce the risk of <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/complicated-grief/">“complicated grief”</a>, a term that describes persistent and debilitating emotional distress.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AapGn60DZSA?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>But pre-death mourning doesn’t necessarily mean grief will be easier to work through once a loved one has died. Other <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953621005724?casa_token=I9mbdSv3d3gAAAAA:MqxN5X_iWbcqa6BYj7IXmImUviheOQWAVA4UBy6795UDuS1uOHG9b245qMkyOiLcvjv_SU6yVA">research evidence</a> shows that it’s possible to experience severe anticipatory grief yet remain unprepared for death.</p> <h2>Carers should seek support</h2> <p>Carers of people with life-limiting illnesses may notice distressing changes in the health of their loved ones. Witnessing close-up someone’s deterioration and decline in independence, memory or ability to perform routine daily tasks, such as personal care, is a painful experience.</p> <p>It is essential, then, for carers to acknowledge difficult emotions and seek support from those around them – especially because caring for a loved one at the end of their life <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/carers-friends-family-coping-support/your-mental-health/">can be an isolating time</a>.</p> <p>Where possible, it can also be beneficial for carers to offer their loved one <a href="https://compassionatecommunitiesni.com/our-programs/dying-to-talk/">opportunities to reflect</a> on significant life events, attend to unfinished business, and to discuss preferences for funeral arrangements. For some, this may involve supporting loved ones to reconnect with friends and family, helping them to put legal or financial affairs in order, talking about how the illness is affecting them, or making an <a href="https://www.england.nhs.uk/publication/universal-principles-for-advance-care-planning/">advance care plan</a>.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrJaTXW1Xvk?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Talking is key</h2> <p>Living with altered family dynamics, multiple losses, transition and uncertainty can be <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2021.1998935">distressing for all family members</a>. It may be difficult to manage the emotional strain of knowing death is unavoidable, to make sense of the situation, and to <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-seriously-ill/how-to-talk-to-those-you-care-about/">talk about dying</a>.</p> <p>However, talking is key in <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/blog/important-conversations-death/">preparing for an impending death</a>. Organisations who offer specialist palliative care have information and trained professionals to help with difficult conversations, including <a href="https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/diagnosed/talking-children/children">talking to children</a> about death and dying.</p> <p>Navigating anticipatory grief can involve self-compassion for both the patient and carer. This includes acknowledging difficult emotions and treating oneself with kindness. Open communication with the person nearing the end of their life can foster emotional connection and help address their concerns, alongside support from the wider circle of family and friends.</p> <p>Extending empathy and understanding to those nearing death – and those grieving their impending loss – will help contribute to a compassionate community that supports those experiencing death, dying and bereavement.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221629/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, Lecturer of Health Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, Professor of Social Work in Palliative Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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11 beauty trends that should have never happened

<p><strong>Avoid these beauty buzzkills at all costs</strong></p> <p>Recent years have seen particularly vibrant, eccentric and unpredictable movements in the beauty sphere. Don’t get us wrong; beauty is an aesthetic concept that is indeed subjective to the eye of the beholder, but some of these recent trends aren’t as appealing as you might think.</p> <p>While you’re recovering from the traumatic fashion trends embedded in our history, take comfort in knowing that just about every decade has encountered questionable decisions – whether that be sartorial or cosmetic. If the thought of sporting orange Crocs and popcorn shirts makes you cringe, consider discarding these unflattering beauty trends as well. </p> <p>As proven peeves for guys, makeup artists and job employers alike, these 11 beauty trends actually do the opposite of their intended purpose.</p> <p><strong>Overly sticky lip gloss</strong></p> <p>We all love to sport a glossy pout, but when your lips are so sticky that they begin to look like you doused your mouth in maple syrup, that’s a problem. Wearing it outside especially doesn’t help; nobody likes spending the day with sticky, raspberry pink-streaked strands. Not surprisingly, men aren’t fans of it either; surveys have found that the majority of men vote against women donning it on a dinner date. </p> <p>Not only does it diminish the whole effortless, woke-up-like-this impression you’re trying to pull off, but nobody wants to make out with super glue. Instead, try opting for long-lasting lip tints that moisturise with a subtle sheen.</p> <p><strong>Extensive self-tanner</strong></p> <p>Unless you’re naturally blessed with the wondrous genes of a luminous rose gold complexion, the rest of us mere mortals have been turning to self-tanners to bestow that subtle bronze glow. </p> <p>This doesn’t come with no strings attached however; not only can it ruin that expensive white cashmere sweater you just bought, one coat too many and you’ll begin to resemble a baked pastry. Instead of that “fresh-out-of-the-oven” look, try a tinted moisturiser instead.</p> <p><strong>Stiff hair </strong></p> <p>Applying too much hairspray can make your locks crunchier than a forest floor during September. Instead of spritzing half a bottle of hairspray on your poor scalp, keep it minimal or natural.</p> <p><strong>Hair add-ins </strong></p> <p>While synthetic clip-ons can be cute on a kid or at Coachella, feathers, extensions, and bells on a regular basis can come off rather childish. </p> <p>To prevent looking like a walking Christmas tree (and avoid making your hair look like an arts-and-crafts project), opt for dangling these trinkets on handbags or sporting them as jewellery instead.</p> <p><strong>Neon lips </strong></p> <p>While we’ve all seen the numerous images floating of (admittedly cool-looking) vibrant lipstick styles all over Pinterest, we’re still left scratching our heads as to what public setting one can don a neon green pout. </p> <p>Sporting electrifying colours too drastically divergent from your natural lip colour may make yourself come off as unprofessional and overly aggressive, so it’s best to stay away from the popping lips if you’re attending a job interview.</p> <p><strong>Wet hair look</strong></p> <p>Makeup artists worldwide have predicted this to be the major hair trend of the year. With celebrities like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Kim Kardashian West donning it on red carpets and said to have been inspired from Calvin Klein’s campaigns in the ‘90s, it has caught major spotlight everywhere. </p> <p>Although the tousled, wet hair look may look nice on the beachside, having a twist with too much slick on the streets may just come across as greasy, unwashed hair.</p> <p><strong>Colour-blocked makeup </strong></p> <p>Colour-blocking on clothing is undeniably chic, but colour-blocked makeup can make your face appear much too angular, and not in a good way. If you want to avoid looking like a makeup novice, don’t neglect the blending brush.</p> <p><strong>Hangover makeup</strong></p> <p>You know those mornings after a particularly rough night out, and you awaken to the sight of a bloated, saggy face?  Well, now there’s a makeup trend striving for just that. A new trend known as “hangover beauty,” this look praises “aegyo-sal” (translated into “charming fat”), striving to highlight the puffiness under one’s eyes. </p> <p>To achieve the look, one has to line the bags underneath the eye and add blush above the cheekbones before blending them together into a reddish hue. This one’s pretty straightforward: don’t try to enhance what the rest of society usually tries to cover up. </p> <p>While having your eyes appear puffy and red-rimmed may have been an intentional choice for you, chances are people are just going to wonder how much sleep you got last night.</p> <p><strong>Furry nails</strong></p> <p>Ever since Jan Arnold, renown co-founder of CND nail polish, showcased furry nails on the runway, people have been plastering actual faux fur on their nails. Several obvious questions arise to the impracticality factor of this trend (how do you even eat or wash your hands with those?), but this nail art might be stretching it a tad too far, even for nail aficionados. </p> <p>You don’t want someone holding your hand to feel like he’s on a date with Sasquatch, so stick with the gel and acrylic for first impressions.</p> <p><strong>Stark ombre hair </strong></p> <p>Don’t get us wrong; we love ombre for many reasons – when done right. The biggest advice you could take for this is to seriously invest in a reputable hair stylist, or else your hair may just end up looking like you are in desperate need of a root touch-up. </p> <p>Never go cheap with ombre, and make sure your colour transition is gradual as opposed to stark.</p> <p><strong>Bleached brows</strong></p> <p>We have Cara Delevingne to thank for sparking the brow obsession; the pencil-thin arches reminiscent of the ’90s have officially been eliminated for thicker, fuller brows. But if you thought microblading was a bold move, think again. </p> <p>Stars like Katy Perry, Kendall Jenner and Rita Ora have all plunged into the peroxide party, inciting an entire movement of people grabbing the bleach to make their arches completely invisible. While that’s fine and all – if you’re into that sort of thing – fuller brows are proven to make you look younger.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/beauty/11-beauty-trends-that-should-have-never-happened?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Read this before choosing a retirement village

<p>Making the move from your own home into a retirement village is a huge decision. And with more than 2,000 villages around the country there’s a world of choice. These are some of the things you need to know before you make the move.</p> <p><strong>Get your priorities straight</strong></p> <p>Think about the kind of village you can see yourself living in. Make a list of features that you absolutely must have and a list of those that are desirable but not essential. Don’t be tempted to compromise on the first list because you could end up very unhappy in the long run.</p> <p>Do your research and find a village that meets your requirements. Don’t rush into somewhere that you aren’t completely sure about.</p> <p><strong>Money, money, money</strong></p> <p>Retirement villages aren’t cheap so you’ll need to be realistic about what it’s going to cost and how much you have to spend. It’s a good idea to see a professional financial adviser to get a complete picture of your financial situation, including things like selling your current home, super and any shares you own.</p> <p>You will have to sign a contract with the village before you move in, so get your financial adviser or a lawyer to go over it with you and make sure you understand all your obligations.</p> <p><strong>Location is key</strong></p> <p>As with any move, you need to think carefully about location. If the village is a long way from your current residence it can drastically alter your social life and connections with friends and family.</p> <p>You also need to think about proximity to public transport, shops, health services and community activities.</p> <p><strong>Choose your style</strong></p> <p>Retirement villages range from self-contained independent living to serviced accommodation and residential aged care. They also vary greatly in size from just a handful of units to villages with hundreds of residents. Larger villages tend to have more facilities, so if you’re an active person who loves to swim or play tennis then this could be the choice for you.</p> <p>However, extra facilities come with extra costs so if these aren’t important to you then you could find a cheaper option. You’ll also want to find out about communal dining options and social activities or groups within the village.</p> <p><strong>Get the help you need</strong></p> <p>As with accommodation styles, there is a wide range in the levels of assistance available. This can be as basic as having a cleaner come once a week right up to full nursing care. Some villages have the option to raise your level of care as you age or become unwell, which can be a better option than moving into a new village.</p> <p><strong>Stick to the rules</strong></p> <p>Can visitors stay the night? Can I have a pet? Is there a system for resolving disputes? You’ll want to be familiar with the rules and regulations of the village so read the fine print in your contract or ask questions before you commit.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Retirement Life

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The one thing you must do before retirement

<p>When you think about planning for retirement, the standard advice is to take a thorough look at your superannuation and finances. Although money is undoubtedly an important aspect of retirement planning, making a plan for your emotion and physical wellbeing is just as crucial.</p> <p>New research from the UK has found that retirement can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health. The study, published by the Institute of Economic Affairs, looked at the impact of retirement on 7,000 people aged 50 to 70, and found that while retirement gives most people a small health booth, over the medium to long-term it causes a “drastic decline in health”. </p> <p>For both men and women, retirement decreases the likelihood of "very good” or "excellent" self-reported health by 40 per cent, increases risk for depression by 40 per cent, and diagnosis of a physical illness by 60 per cent. The study’s lead author, Gabriel Sahlgren, noted: "Work, especially paid work, gives many people a sense of purpose. Losing that may lead to declines in health."</p> <p>The lesson: Make a plan for your emotional and physical health.</p> <p>“Don't wait until you retire to decide how you're going to keep busy,” Dave Bernard, retirement blogger and author of Are You Just Existing and Calling it a Life?, told Prevention, adding, “And you need to look well beyond the first six months.”</p> <p>Just as it’s necessary to make sure your finances are in order before retirement, it’s crucial to ask yourself: What will my new sense of purpose in retirement be?</p> <p>“Many times, adults might not think about what it actually means to be retired, or they think about retirement in abstract terms,” says Angela Curl, an assistant professor in the University of Missouri School of Social Work.</p> <p>She says you need to make concrete plans for retirement. “If you want to volunteer when you are retired, ask yourself where and how often. Having specific plans and steps to follow will help you enter retirement more easily,” says Curl.</p> <p>Creating a plan of how you’ll spend your time when you retire will keep you mentally and physically strong, ensuring that you’ll be healthy enough to enjoy your well-deserved retirement.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Retirement Life

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Russell Crowe unveils new look not seen in over 20 years

<p>Russell Crowe, the man of many faces – literally, his beard has its own postcode – is making headlines again. Not for his stellar performances or his knack for embodying iconic characters, but for something far more groundbreaking: he shaved.</p> <p>Yes, you read that right. Russell Crowe has gone from grizzly lumberjack chic to smooth operator in what can only be described as a follicular metamorphosis of epic proportions.</p> <p>In a tweet that shook the internet harder than a magnitude 9 earthquake, Crowe proudly announced, "The actor prepares #20. First shave since 2019".</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">The actor prepares #20.<br />First shave since 2019. <a href="https://t.co/e48ctxh9GY">pic.twitter.com/e48ctxh9GY</a></p> <p>— Russell Crowe (@russellcrowe) <a href="https://twitter.com/russellcrowe/status/1759500781642780929?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 19, 2024</a></p></blockquote> <p>Now, to put this into perspective, in 2019 we were all living in a blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaited us in the years to come. So, the fact that Russell Crowe has finally decided to bid farewell to his facial foliage is nothing short of a miracle.</p> <p>In the accompanying photo, Crowe stares into the camera with the seriousness of a man who has just discovered a rare species of moth living in his beard. His face, now liberated from the tangled web of hair, appears decades younger, causing fans to collectively question if time travel is, in fact, possible.</p> <p>But let's not forget, this isn't Crowe's first rodeo with a clean-shaven face. Even though he cites "2019" in his caption, the last time he showcased such ephemeral smoothness was back in 2012 while promoting <em>Les Miserables –</em> a time when the world was still recovering from the shock of "Gangnam Style" and debating the colour of a certain pinstriped dress. So, it's safe to say, Crowe's clean-shaven look is rarer than a blue moon on a leap year.</p> <p>Of course, fans couldn't contain their excitement. One Twitter user exclaimed, "20 years younger instantly!" Another fan, probably needing a moment to catch their breath after witnessing the transformation, simply stated, "oh THERE you are". And let's not overlook the fan who eloquently remarked, "Looks good! It’s nice to change it up and shave. You have a nice face it was hiding behind all that hair." Ah, poetry in the age of social media.</p> <p>But what prompted this seismic shift in Crowe's appearance? Well, he didn't spill the beans on which movie role necessitated the razor, but we can only imagine the possibilities. Perhaps he's playing a time-travelling barber who inadvertently alters the course of history with each stroke of his razor. Or maybe he's set to star in a reboot of <em>The Santa Clause</em> as the titular character who decides to trade in his bushy beard for a more aerodynamic look. The possibilities are as endless as the hairs on Crowe's chin once were.</p> <p>Whatever the reason, one thing's for sure: Crowe's fresh shave has left an indelible mark on the internet. And as he gears up for roles in everything from historical dramas (he’s pegged to play Hermann Göring in the film <em>Nuremberg) </em>to MMA action flicks (such as <em>The Beast In Me</em>, which traces the life of a commercial fisherman who avenges his brother's death by fighting in a cage match)<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">, we can only hope that his newfound smoothness becomes a permanent fixture.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">After all, in a world of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes all it takes is a clean shave to restore our faith in humanity.</span></p> <p><em>Images: Poker Face / Twitter (X) </em></p>

Movies

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The royals have historically been tight-lipped about their health – but that never stopped the gossip

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-j-hackett-458612">Lisa J. Hackett</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/huw-nolan-1309470">Huw Nolan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jo-coghlan-1585">Jo Coghlan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p>King Charles III has been diagnosed with cancer. This is an unexpected announcement: it is unusual for the royal family to release details of medical conditions to the public.</p> <p>“<a href="https://journal.media-culture.org.au/index.php/mcjournal/article/view/2986">Don’t let the daylight in</a>” was how British essayist Walter Bagehot advised the British monarchy to deal with the public in 1867. “[A]bove all things our royalty is to be reverenced […] its mystery is its life,” he wrote.</p> <p>For Queen Elizabeth II this attitude framed her response to public information about the royals, quipping “<a href="https://www.news24.com/you/royals/news/royal-author-explains-queens-never-complain-never-explain-mantra-20220620">never complain, never explain</a>”. Maybe this explains why Princess Kate’s <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/feb/05/king-charles-diagnosed-with-cancer-buckingham-palace-announces">recent abdominal surgery</a> has not been disclosed to the public, with media reports saying she is “determined to keep her medical details private”.</p> <p>In revealing the fragility of the royal body much of the mystique about them as anointed by God fades away. But the royals’ health has, occasionally, been the subject of official news, and, more commonly, the subject of gossip.</p> <h2>Henry VIII’s ‘soore legge’</h2> <p>Henry VIII’s (1491–1547) health was well-documented and discussed in state-papers and diplomatic dispatches of the day.</p> <p>In his early years, he was known for his robust health. In his later years, he would be described as “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/">cursed</a>” by his deteriorating health.</p> <p>As Henry aged, his access to fine food led to an increase of weight. Doctors today might diagnose him with obesity, and it has been <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/">speculated by contemporary medical historians</a> he suffered from hypertension and Type II diabetes.</p> <p>This disease, which can lead to diabetic neuropathy and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/library/features/healthy-feet.html">serious foot complications</a>, could account for the persistent and odorous ulcers on his “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2789029/#:%7E:text=In%20the%20same%20year%20Henry,annual%20salary%20of%2020%20shillings.">sorre legge</a>”, as described by his contemporaries.</p> <p>Knowledge about Henry’s health was not widespread. The king had sequestered himself in his private apartments. Even his attending <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2388216/pdf/annrcse00840-0011.pdf">physicians did not keep notes</a>, perhaps concerned about being accused of treason in the volatile politics of the time. Most of our knowledge today is gleaned from diplomatic reports sent by diplomats to their own leaders.</p> <h2>Queen Anne’s lupus</h2> <p>Queen Anne (1665-1714) had 17 pregnancies, 11 of which resulted in miscarriages or stillbirths, with the remainder all dying in childhood. Despite the regularity of her failed pregnancies, her physician, John Radcliffe, repeatedly declared she was in good health and her miscarriages were due to “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1540-6563.1986.tb00702.x">the vapours</a>”, a vague diagnosis often attributed to aristocratic women.</p> <p>It is <a href="https://go.gale.com/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA12456274&amp;sid=googleScholar&amp;v=2.1&amp;it=r&amp;linkaccess=abs&amp;issn=17592151&amp;p=AONE&amp;sw=w&amp;userGroupName=anon%7Ee39109f7&amp;aty=open-web-entry">now believed Anne</a> may have been afflicted with the autoimmune condition lupus.</p> <p>For Anne’s contemporaries, the name of the illness perhaps mattered less than the real political issue it presented: who would become monarch after her? With no heirs, there was real political fear her Catholic half-brother <a href="https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/manuscriptsandspecialcollections/learning/biographies/jamesfrancisedwardstuart(1688-1766).aspx">James Francis Edward Stuart</a> (“The Old Pretender”) would claim the throne.</p> <p>But the law <a href="https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/evolutionofparliament/parliamentaryauthority/revolution/collections1/parliamentary-collections/act-of-settlement/">excluded Catholics</a> from the taking the crown, and ensured Anne would be succeed by her second cousin, George I of Hanover and Britain.</p> <h2>George III and mental illness</h2> <p>George III (1738–1820) famously suffered from bouts of mental illness, more recently been speculated to be caused by <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/porphyria">Porphyria</a>, a hereditary blood disorder.</p> <p>Throughout his illness <a href="https://blogs.ncl.ac.uk/speccoll/2023/11/01/bulletin-on-the-state-of-king-george-iiis-health-october-2011-2/">bulletins were issued</a> by his doctors informing the public of his condition.</p> <p>These were kept <a href="https://blogs.ncl.ac.uk/speccoll/2023/11/01/bulletin-on-the-state-of-king-george-iiis-health-october-2011-2/">deliberately vague</a>, with the aim to reassure the public rather than divulge details. His repeated bouts of illness mean his health was <a href="https://oro.open.ac.uk/92656/3/92656.pdf">a constant in the media of the time</a>, with frequent, at times twice-daily, updates during episodes.</p> <p>His illness called into <a href="https://oro.open.ac.uk/92656/3/92656.pdf">question his ability to be monarch</a>, a situation eventually resolved by the installing of his son, later George IV, as Prince Regent.</p> <h2>A family of haemophilia</h2> <p>Queen Victoria has been called the “<a href="https://hekint.org/2020/02/10/royal-blood-queen-victoria-and-the-legacy-of-hemophilia-in-european-royalty/?highlight=%E2%A3%82%E2%A3%9A%20Buy%20Viagra%20from%20%240.31%20per%20pill%20%3A%20%F0%9F%8F%A5%20www.LloydsPharmacy.xyz%20%F0%9F%8F%A5%20-%20Pharma%20without%20prescription%20%E2%A3%9A%E2%A3%82Viagra%20Cialis%20Levitra%20Staxyn%20Online%20Viagra%20Online%20Information">Grandmother of Europe</a>” due to her many descendants. This also came with a deadly legacy, haemophilia, given the moniker “the royal disease”.</p> <p><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/hemophilia/facts.html">Haemophilia</a> is an inherited disorder which mostly affects males, where the blood does not clot properly. This can lead to severe or spontaneous bleeding which can be dangerous if not treated properly. While the illness can be managed well today, in Victoria’s time little was known about it.</p> <p>It is believed Victoria passed on the trait to <a href="https://www.hemophilia.org/bleeding-disorders-a-z/overview/history">three of her nine children</a>, at a time when life expectancy for those who had the disease was just 13 years old. Two of her daughters were asymptomatic carriers, however her fourth son Prince Leopold (1853-1884) was afflicted with the disease.</p> <p>While the royal family were careful to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21764831/">manage what information was publicly released</a> about his illness, his status meant it garnered public attention. It was covered in medical journals of the time, and later in newspapers.</p> <p>As knowledge of the illness grew, both the public and members of the royal family were able to use it to guide decisions on marriages to limit its spread.</p> <h2>A new approach</h2> <p>In the days leading up to Elizabeth’s death on 2022, the media reported her as resting “<a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/siladityaray/2022/09/08/queen-under-medical-supervision-as-doctors-are-concerned-for-her-health/?sh=42c483e9140e">comfortably</a>” and provided no information on the nature of her illness. Even her <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/News/queen-elizabeth-iis-death-revealed-death-certificate/story?id=90696648">death certificate</a> failed to reveal her cause of death, other than as old age.</p> <p>Charles has signalled he wants to do monarchy differently than his mother. After his recent prostate surgery, his office stated he wanted to inspire men to look after their prostates. Anecdotal evidence suggests more men have sought medical tests in response which is being called the “<a href="https://www.ausdoc.com.au/news/king-charles-effect-spurs-aussie-men-to-consult-their-gp-for-prostate-symptoms/">King Charles effect</a>”.</p> <p>Now, the announcement of Charles’s cancer diagnosis signals a new approach by the royals. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222873/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-j-hackett-458612"><em>Lisa J. Hackett</em></a><em>, Lecturer, Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/huw-nolan-1309470">Huw Nolan</a>, Animal Welfare scientist and pop culture researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jo-coghlan-1585">Jo Coghlan</a>, Associate Professor Humanities Arts and Social Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-royals-have-historically-been-tight-lipped-about-their-health-but-that-never-stopped-the-gossip-222873">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Flight attendant reveals why you should never use the toilet paper on a plane

<p dir="ltr">A flight attendant has revealed the gross reason why you should never use the toilet paper on a plane journey. </p> <p dir="ltr">The seasoned cabin crew member, an American woman named Cheryl, shared the three things she would never do on a plane after seeing what really goes on behind closed doors on an aircraft. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her first tip for any traveller was not to use the toilet paper in a plane bathroom. </p> <p dir="ltr">Sharing her tips in a TikTok video, she wrote, "If you examine the toilet paper, I promise you're going to see water droplets on it, or what you think are water droplets."</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't think we can trust most men to make it in the toilet on a normal day, let alone flying at 36,000 feet with turbulence."</p> <p dir="ltr">To combat this, the flight attendant recommends bringing a travel pack of tissues in your hand luggage to use instead. </p> <p dir="ltr">She also warned her viewers against wearing shorts on their next flight.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I would never wear shorts on a plane. You're going to freeze to death," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Cheryl pointed out another valid reason to opt for long pants on a flight, stating, "Say we have an evacuation. You have to go down the slide. Your butt cheeks are going to be sizzled off.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lastly, Cheryl urged travellers to never book less than a three-hour connection between flights.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Delays can happen for a million and one reasons. The likelihood that you're going to miss your connection is pretty high if you're booking shorter than three hours," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Tips

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8 places you should never keep your phone

<p><strong>In your pocket</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone in your pocket seems logical, but you could be doing more harm than good. According to Dr Lilly Friedman, this is actually the worst place to store your phone. “When phones are on, connected to a wireless network, and placed in a pocket, the radiation is two to seven times higher than if it were placed in a purse or holster,” she says. </p> <p>There is a correlation between radiation from a mobile phone and tumour growth, she adds. Plus, radiation can change the structure of DNA and affect male fertility, according to Dr Friedman. The World Health Organization’s International Agency for Research on Cancer also found that mobile phone radiation is additionally carcinogenic to humans. Merely sitting on your phone could cause health issues such as sciatica or back problems.</p> <p><strong>In your bra</strong></p> <p>Some research and case studies show that keeping your phone in your bra could be linked to breast cancer due to the radiations and vibrations from the phone. That said, there is not enough evidence to establish a definite relationship between the two. Still, keeping your phone in your bra, especially a sports bra, is a bad idea due to the skin-irritating bacteria it could harbour, Muscle &amp; Fitness reports.</p> <p><strong>In your bed or under your pillow</strong></p> <p>Sleeping with your phone is a bad idea for a few reasons. First, keeping your phone under your pillow could build up heat and present a potential fire hazard, especially if your phone is charging or has a defect. It’s also known that the LED light from phone screens can disrupt melatonin production and circadian rhythms, hurting your sleep quality, according to the National Sleep Foundation.</p> <p>And, of course, there’s also radiation to consider. The amounts of radio frequency radiation mobile phones give off are the same ones emitted from microwaves. There is also concern about the safety of mobile phone use with respect to cancer and brain tumours, per the American Cancer Society.</p> <p><strong>Plugged in</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone plugged in when it has a full battery causes damage to the battery itself, according to pcmag.com. It’s not that your phone ‘overloads’ with power, but heat build-ups from stacking things on top of your phone or keeping it under your pillow, making your phone hotter and damaging your battery.</p> <p><strong>Close to your face</strong></p> <p>Keeping your phone close to your face means bacteria transfers to and from your phone, making your skin and phone dirtier. This combination leads to more acne, skin irritation and even wrinkles, according to Allure. Try using ear pods instead to keep the surface of your phone at a distance from your face.</p> <p><strong>In your glovebox</strong></p> <p>Extreme temperatures are the worst conditions for your phone. So keeping your device in your car’s glovebox during the extremely hot or cold months of the year could lead to problems. According to Time, excess heat can cause everything from data loss or corruption to battery leakage. The cold weather presents just as many issues for your device. In cold temperatures, many smartphones shut off, have display problems, shortened battery life and in rare cases screen shattering.</p> <p><strong>On your beach towel </strong></p> <p>Notice a theme here? The extreme sun and heat at the beach is a recipe for phone disaster. Protect your device after you finish taking beautiful beach pictures. Hot and sunny conditions could, again, cause your phone to overheat – and getting sand in your phone won’t help either.</p> <p><strong>Anywhere in the bathroom</strong></p> <p>Although phones could arguably be the new newspaper, it’s not a good idea to take yours into the bathroom. Even if you keep your device on a counter or away from the toilet, anything within a metre of a flushing toilet could mean bacteria or viruses in the air end up on your phone, according to a study published in Applied and Environmental Microbiology. </p> <p>“The detection of bacteria and viruses falling out onto surfaces in bathrooms after flushing indicated that they remain airborne long enough to settle on surfaces throughout the bathroom,” wrote the study authors.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/8-places-you-should-never-keep-your-phone" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Technology

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14 personal finance tips you were never taught – but need to know

<p><strong>Take a day to think about large purchases to avoid impulse buys</strong></p> <p>“Delaying your purchases for a day gives you time to think about whether or not you really need the items, and it curbs regrettable impulse buys,” advises Marc Diana, CEO of MoneyTips.</p> <p>“Sale items may be an exception to this rule, but even then, question how badly you need the item compared to saving or investing the money you would use to purchase it. When times are tough, and you’re cutting expenses, would you rather have a rarely worn $300 pair of shoes or $300 cash?”</p> <p><strong>Budgets are freeing, not constricting</strong></p> <p>Says financial educator Tiffany Aliche, “Keeping a budget allows you to say yes to your goals in a strategic way. If you have a budget, you can save for the holiday, house or car you want to get. You can look at it as ‘No dining out,’ but I see it as ‘Yes to a trip to Paris.’ A budget is not a NO plan, but a YES plan with actual steps towards achieving your goals.”</p> <p><strong>Budget with the 50/20/30 rule</strong></p> <p>Lynn Toomey, co-founder of Your Retirement Advisor, suggests following this easy budgeting rule:</p> <p>Use 50 per cent of your income for non-discretionary necessities like food, rent/house payment, utilities, and transportation.</p> <p>Put aside 20 per cent of your income for an emergency fund (three to six months’ salary is a good target), retirement, savings, and to pay off any debts.</p> <p>Use 30 per cent of your income for discretionary (non-essential) spending such as entertainment, holidays and gifts.</p> <p><strong>Penny-pinching is not the road to wealth</strong></p> <p>Spending less doesn’t mean you’ll have more. Saving is a good way to stabilise your finances, but you still need to invest. “Pretend there are two islands,” advises Aliche, who is also known as The Budgetnista: “Financially Stuck Island and Wealthy Island.”</p> <p>She says that your savings can be like a car – you can’t drive off Financially Stuck Island without a bridge. Investing is the bridge to financial success. “To get from one island to another, you need to get in your savings car and drive it over your investment bridge.”</p> <p><strong>It’s OK to put yourself before your kids</strong></p> <p>Many people want their kids to go to university, says Aliche, “but it’s more important for you to save enough for retirement. Because the best gift you can give your child is not a free ride to school, but rather not to be a financial burden on them when it’s time to start their own family. Kids can get student loans; no one is going to lend you money without collateral when you’re retired.”</p> <p><strong>Financial advisors aren’t only for wealthy people</strong></p> <p>Millions of people have trillions invested in stocks, bonds, mutual funds and other stock exchange investments, but just because you can easily make trades yourself doesn’t mean you should. “Why not do what you do best to earn money and let a trained professional invest it for you?” asks Brian Saranovitz, president of Your Retirement Advisor. “A recent Vanguard Investments study indicated that integrating proper retirement strategies can add as much as 3 per cent efficient return to a retirement portfolio.”</p> <p>Adds Aliche, “You need to purposefully seek out knowledge. If you break a leg, you know that you need to go to a doctor. With personal finance, people have got the notion that they could just fix it themselves. When it comes to investing, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.”</p> <p><strong>Get a clear picture of yourself at 80</strong></p> <p>Barring tragedy, you will live to a ripe, old age. Aliche recommends naming your 80-year-old image of yourself. “Mine is Wanda. I imagine Wanda sitting on the front steps in her yard. People feel disconnected from their older self. The more you can picture her, the better. I don’t want to see her mopping floors at 80. When I’m making a decision, I think, ‘How will this affect Wanda?’ If I dip into my retirement funds to buy an expensive car, that’s going to hurt Wanda.”</p> <p>If it’s easier, pretend you’re living with your grandfather or grandmother. “You’re not going to tell Granny, ‘You have to go to work. We need the money,’” she says.</p> <p><strong>You can never have too much retirement savings</strong></p> <p>Says Lynn Toomey, co-founder of Your Retirement Advisor, “Life is good. Retirement is better, if you are prepared.” She points out that retirement is laden with potential costs, such as healthcare, longevity, market volatility and inflation.</p> <p>“Even if you think you’re saving enough and have assets, it still may not be enough. The earlier you start saving and investing, the longer compound interest can work its magic to help you achieve a successful retirement.”</p> <p><strong>Don’t blow your tax refund</strong></p> <p>“What are you planning on doing with your tax refund?” asks financial advisor Mike Zaino. “If you’re like most people, the world of instant gratification is beckoning. It could be extremely damaging to your retirement account, however, especially given the time value of money and what Albert Einstein called ‘The eighth wonder of the world” – compound interest.”</p> <p><strong>Ask current lenders for a better rate</strong></p> <p>“Banks, credit unions and other lenders are keenly aware of their competition,” says Diana of MoneyTips.com. “If your credit score qualifies you for a better rate from another credit card issuer or lender, ask them to match the rate. There’s no downside to asking; the worst they could do is refuse.”</p> <p><strong>Asking for your credit limit to be raised can improve your credit score</strong></p> <p>Keep your credit utilisation – the amount of credit you use compared to your credit limit – low to boost your all-important credit, advises Diana. “You can borrow less, or you can ask for a raise in your credit limit.”</p> <p>A recent study from CreditCards.com found that only 28 per cent of respondents have never asked for an increase in their credit limit. However, a whopping 89 per cent of those who asked for a credit limit increase received one.</p> <p><strong>Unless they have a high annual fee, don’t close your old credit cards</strong></p> <p>“The longer your stable credit history, the better it reflects on your credit score,” explains Diana. “The age of accounts is averaged over all of your credit accounts, so closing an older account that is infrequently used actually harms your credit score in two ways: it lowers your credit limit, which raises your credit utilisation; and it lowers your average account age. If you have an old card with a decent credit limit, use it at least annually to keep it open. But don’t forget to pay the bill on time!”</p> <p><strong>Don’t ever co-sign a loan</strong></p> <p>“Co-signing a loan isn’t just vouching for someone’s character,” explains Toomey. “Understand that if the borrower doesn’t pay, then you’re responsible for every single missed payment. If they don’t pay, it’s your credit that will be ruined.”</p> <p><strong>Being debt-free should not be your goal</strong></p> <p>Says Aliche, creator of the Live Richer Challenge, “People focus on getting out of debt. If they use that money to grow wealth instead of getting rid of debt, they could be debt-free faster. Do you pay off your student loans to get debt-free, or invest money in your business to grow and secure wealth for yourself? If you focus on being debt-free, that’s all you’ll be. If you focus on building wealth, then you can be wealthy and debt-free.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/money/14-personal-finance-tips-you-were-never-taught-but-need-to-know?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Money & Banking

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7 things you should never say at a funeral

<p><strong>What not to say at a funeral </strong></p> <p>Struggling to find the right words to convey sympathy at a funeral? Even the most well-intentioned comments can come across as hurtful instead of helpful. Here are some common phrases you should never say at a funeral –and what to say instead.</p> <p><strong>Never say "I know how you feel" at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I can’t imagine how you feel.”</p> <p>By the time we’re adults, most of us will have experienced the loss of a family member, friend or colleague. What’s important to note, however, is that although the phases of grief are similar, we don’t necessarily know how another grieving individual truly feels. “Everyone’s experience is unique,” says Jaime Bickerton, executive director of Bereaved Families of Ontario in Canada. “Everyone’s loss is the worst, because it’s theirs.”</p> <p>It can help to think of yourself in a helper role, says author and grief counsellor, Dr Alan Wolfelt. “Walk ‘with,’ not ‘behind’ or ‘in front of’ the person who is mourning.”</p> <p><strong>"Time heals all wounds" is something you should never say at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Take the time you need and be gentle with yourself.”</p> <p>“There’s no formula when it comes to grief,” says Asya Hadzismajlovic, bereavement expert. “It comes in waves.” The grieving process takes time and important dates like anniversaries and birthdays can trigger an emotional tsunami. Allow the bereaved to move through that process at his or her own pace, advises Wolfelt. “Don’t force your timetable for healing. Allow them to experience all the hurt, sorrow and pain he or she is feeling at the time.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “At least he didn’t suffer,” “At least she made it to her birthday,” or “At least she died doing what she loved” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am here for you.”</p> <p>It’s best to avoid any statements that begin with “at least,” notes Bickerton. These sentiments are often an attempt to make dark days more bearable, but they won’t diminish the pain of losing a loved one. What the person grieving really needs is your quiet presence, says Hadzismajlovic. Check in during the day of the funeral and beyond. “People just want to be heard; to be listened to,” she says. “We say that grief shared is grief lessened.”</p> <p><strong>“Let me know what I can do” is something you should never say at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Here’s what I can do for you…”</p> <p>This comment places the burden on the bereaved to reach out for help at a time when they likely don’t know what they need, explains Bickerton. Running a few loads of their laundry, tidying their house or yard and preparing meals are just a few ways to genuinely show you care as opposed to merely saying you care. “If they have 38 casseroles, make the 39th,” says Wolfelt. “Deliver it in your best dish and say you will be over in a week to pick it up. This provides you with an opportunity to check in.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “She’s in a better place” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “She will be missed.”</p> <p>“Most likely, the person grieving is thinking the best place for [the deceased] to be is with them,” says Bickerton. “There’s also a danger of assuming the person ascribes to certain beliefs, which may not be the case.” Simply show your support for your grieving friend, colleague or family member, advises Wolfelt. “At the funeral, a touch of your hand, a look in your eye or even a hug often communicates more than words can say.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “It was his time” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am so sorry for the loss of your precious [person’s name].”</p> <p>“This platitude can be particularly upsetting for the grieving person to hear as it implies a reason for the death when they may be feeling the death was senseless or irrational,” says Bickerton. Even if the loved one lived a long, full life, the person grieving would likely have been wishing for many more years together. When expressing your condolence be sure to say the person’s name, advises Wolfelt. “That way the person grieving knows you are genuinely concerned.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “You need to say goodbye” or “Life must go on” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “He will always be remembered for his generosity/love for his family…”</p> <p>Statements like these tend to minimise the grief journey, says Bickerton. “Life will go on but it will look very different for the person grieving as they adjust to their new normal.” A note that shares a favourite memory or relates the special qualities you valued in the person who has passed is a thoughtful way to express your condolences before or after the funeral, says Wolfelt. “These words will often be a loving gift to the grieving person.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/7-things-you-should-never-say-at-a-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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10 signs of an ulcer you should never ignore

<p><strong>What is a stomach ulcer?</strong></p> <p>Peptic ulcers are painful sores that line the stomach – and they affect about millions people per year. Normally the stomach has a protective layer that keeps the acidic juices in the stomach from getting to sensitive tissue and causing an ulcer. However, some people are at risk of developing stomach ulcers, most often due to long-term use of NSAIDs, the class of pain reliever that includes ibuprofen or aspirin, or an infection with a type of bacteria called H. pylori. The good news is that treatment can help many ulcers to heal.</p> <p>Here are the signs of an ulcer you shouldn’t ignore.</p> <p><strong>You have pain specifically in your upper abdomen </strong></p> <p>One of the most common ulcer symptoms is severe pain in the upper abdomen, according to gastroenterology specialist Dr Neil Sengupta. Ulcers can develop anywhere in the upper digestive tract, he says but we often think about those occurring in the stomach or small intestine, where we feel pain. </p> <p>This ulcer pain usually occurs when your stomach is empty and can come and go for as long as several months, according to the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.</p> <p><strong>You feel nauseous </strong></p> <p>One of the other tell-tale ulcer symptoms is feeling nauseous, says Dr Sengupta. Many patients report that having a little food in your stomach can help ulcer symptoms subside.</p> <p><strong>You've had unexplained vomiting </strong></p> <p>From time to time, nausea brought on by ulcers may become so intense that it could actually cause you to vomit. If that happens, stay away from medications like ibuprofen and aspirin. According to Dr Sengupta, these over-the-counter pain medications actually put you at a higher risk of developing ulcers – or make your current ulcers worse.</p> <p><strong>You bleed when you use the toilet </strong></p> <p>Blood coming from the gastrointestinal tract can signal a variety of underlying health issues. Still, Dr Sengupta says when this bleeding is combined with upper abdominal pain, he’s “highly suspicious” that it’s one of the signs of an ulcer. Many patients notice this blood either when vomiting, or when using the bathroom, as their stools may appear black. </p> <p>If you notice this blood, along with nausea and pain in the stomach or chest, Dr Sengupta says doctors will often perform a blood test and an upper endoscopy – where they use a camera to look into the stomach itself – to check if an ulcer is the culprit. Blood in your stool can also be caused by haemorrhoids, or be a symptom of bowel cancer, so it’s a good idea to get checked out by your doctor.</p> <p><strong>You have chest pain</strong></p> <p>Some patients with ulcers describe chest pain, a term called ‘non-cardiac chest pain’, which refers to pain in the area that’s not caused by a heart attack or heart disease, according to the American College of Gastroenterology. The discomfort is commonly caused by a gastrointestinal problem, though it can also stem from stress or anxiety.</p> <p><strong>You're more bloated than usual </strong></p> <p>If you notice your stomach feeling particularly bloated, it may be more serious than a little bit of gas – it could be one of the signs of an ulcer. Of course, bloating can also be caused simply by eating something your body doesn’t agree with, but when combined with these other symptoms, it’s worth checking out.</p> <p><strong>Your appetite went MIA (missing in action) </strong></p> <p>Another less common, but possible, ulcer symptom is weight loss. You may notice your appetite is off, and stomach discomfort makes it hard to eat. This drop in food intake, combined with occasional vomiting, may lead to unexpected weight loss.</p> <p><strong>You're feeling weirdly hungry </strong></p> <p>You’d think that an ulcer would kill your appetite, but some people feel this burning or gnawing sensation in their stomach weirdly as hunger. The pain may briefly stop after you’ve had something to eat.</p> <p><strong>You've had back pain</strong></p> <p>You might associate ulcers with the stomach and small intestine, but believe it or not, some people report that the pain travels into their upper or mid-back. If that happens, it can make your symptoms all the more confusing.</p> <p><strong>You keep burping </strong></p> <p>Belching is a less common symptom of an ulcer, but your doctor might be suspicious if it’s accompanied by the other symptoms on this list. Talk to your doctor if you’ve been burping more than usual; ulcer or not, it can be a disruptive symptom and your doctor will want to figure out the cause.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/10-signs-of-an-ulcer-you-should-never-ignore?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Christmas drinks anyone? Why alcohol before bedtime leaves you awake at 3am, desperate for sleep

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/madeline-sprajcer-1315489">Madeline Sprajcer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-gupta-347235">Charlotte Gupta</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chris-irwin-249481">Chris Irwin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/grace-vincent-1484516">Grace Vincent</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p>You’ve come home after a long day at work, you have dinner, put the kids to bed, and then you have your usual nightcap before drifting off to sleep. Or, perhaps you’re at the pub for the work Christmas party, and you think you’ll just have one more drink before heading home.</p> <p>That last drink might help you fall asleep easily. But your nightcap can also wreck a good night’s sleep. How could it do both?</p> <p>Here’s what’s going on in your body when you drink alcohol just before bedtime. And if you want to drink at the Christmas party, we have some tips on how to protect your sleep.</p> <h2>What happens to my body when I drink?</h2> <p>Soon after you drink, alcohol enters your bloodstream and travels to your brain.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1530-0277.1998.tb03695.x">There</a>, it affects chemical messengers known as neurotransmitters and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2700603/">slows down communication</a> between nerve cells.</p> <p>Certain <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4040959/">regions of the brain</a> are particularly vulnerable to the effects of alcohol. When alcohol interacts with cells in these regions, the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826822/">overall effect</a> leads to those characteristic feelings of relaxation, lowered inhibitions, slurred speech, and may induce feelings of drowsiness and lethargy.</p> <p>Alcohol can also have immediate effects on the heart and circulatory system. Blood vessels widen, resulting in a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11906-021-01160-7">drop in blood pressure</a>, which can make you feel dizzy or lightheaded.</p> <h2>What happens soon after a nightcap?</h2> <p>Drinking alcohol before sleeping is like flipping a switch. At first, alcohol has a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826822/">sedative effect</a> and you will probably feel <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23347102/">more relaxed</a> and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-62227-0#:%7E:text=In%20this%20large%2C%20population%20based,sleep%20(cross%20sectional%20analyses).">drift off easily</a>.</p> <p>At this point, you still have a high level of alcohol in your blood. But don’t be fooled. As your body <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5821259/">processes the alcohol</a>, and the night goes on, alcohol actually <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/acer.12621">disrupts your sleep</a>.</p> <h2>And later that night?</h2> <p>As your body processes the alcohol and your blood alcohol level drops, your brain rebounds from the drowsiness you would have felt earlier in the night.</p> <p>This disturbs your sleep, and can wake you up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1300/J465v26n01_01">multiple times</a>, particularly in the second half of the night. You may also have vivid and stressful <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5821259/">dreams</a>.</p> <p>This sleep disruption is mainly to the deep, “rapid eye movement” or REM sleep.</p> <p>This type of sleep plays an important role in regulating your emotions and for your cognitive function. So not getting enough explains why you wake up feeling pretty lousy and groggy.</p> <p>Drinking alcohol before bedtime also tends to mean you <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2775419/?source=post_page---------------------------">sleep less overall</a>, meaning important rest and recharge time is cut short.</p> <p>There are also <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31234199/">long-term impacts</a> of alcohol on sleep. Moderate and heavy drinkers consistently have <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleepadvances/article/3/1/zpac023/6632721">poor sleep quality</a> and more <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-62227-0#:%7E:text=In%20this%20large%2C%20population%20based,sleep%20(cross%20sectional%20analyses).">sleep disturbances</a> over time.</p> <h2>How about the Christmas party then?</h2> <p>If you plan to drink this holiday season, here are some tips to minimise the effect of alcohol on your sleep:</p> <ul> <li> <p><strong>swap every other drink</strong>. Try swapping every second drink for a non-alcoholic drink. The more alcohol you drink, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/44/1/zsaa135/5871424?casa_token=okbJAuf8TXUAAAAA:ye_q-DACToxvj8H3IVaiKrjNkDhHZnl-LKJdds3iteaKyzJFuHUzitlRv45DqxNO-FraDRAlQMV53z8">the more</a> sleep disruption you can expect. Reducing how much you drink in any one sitting can minimise the effect on your sleep</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>avoid drinking alcohol close to bedtime</strong>. If you give your body a chance to process the alcohol before you go to sleep, your sleep will be less disrupted</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>eat while you drink</strong>. Drinking on an empty stomach is going to worsen the effects of alcohol as the alcohol will be absorbed <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1467-3010.2006.00588.x?casa_token=TQiCqcbasYAAAAAA:GbEvnTT82aB3_sPfmJLOQXIV3ivjnbZdIoP2_XZBa8IDZ0YLaPxNfE6DMHLgH7obnpA22VDsM4vyGZV4dQ">faster</a>. So try to eat something while you’re drinking</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>ditch the espresso martinis and other caffeinated drinks</strong>. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1087079207000937?casa_token=NJsobF-C-vwAAAAA:opzPjrglPdZTwXEo7rHil5vm0a1K3KmXw9vp0Het-eRHZEWbfRAA40vgicU3Z5kC8x7uEJF39C8">Caffeine</a> can make it hard to get to sleep, and hard to stay asleep</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>be careful if you have sleep apnoea</strong>. People who have sleep apnoea (when their upper airway is repeatedly blocked during sleep) can be even more impacted by drinking alcohol. That’s because alcohol can act as a muscle relaxant, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/5/4/318/2753287">leading to</a> more snoring, and lower oxygen levels in the blood. If you have sleep apnoea, limiting how much alcohol you drink is the best way to avoid these effects</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>drink plenty of water</strong>. Staying hydrated will help you <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article/42/2/zsy210/5155420">sleep better</a> and will hopefully stave off the worst of tomorrow’s hangover.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216834/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> </li> </ul> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/madeline-sprajcer-1315489">Madeline Sprajcer</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-gupta-347235">Charlotte Gupta</a>, Postdoctoral research fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chris-irwin-249481">Chris Irwin</a>, Senior Lecturer in Nutrition and Dietetics, School of Health Sciences &amp; Social Work, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/grace-vincent-1484516">Grace Vincent</a>, Senior Lecturer, Appleton Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, Senior Lecturer and Discipline Lead in Nutrition, School of Health, Medical and Applied Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/christmas-drinks-anyone-why-alcohol-before-bedtime-leaves-you-awake-at-3am-desperate-for-sleep-216834">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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King Charles' final message to Barry Humphries hours before he died

<p>In a touching tribute to the late comedian Barry Humphries, the King has sent a personal message to be read out at the state memorial. The King, who shared a close friendship with the legendary comedian, expressed his deep sadness following Humphries' passing at the age of 89.</p> <p>The King, at 75, was not just a monarch but a friend who spoke to Humphries mere hours before his passing on April 22. A Buckingham Palace spokesperson at the time conveyed the King's profound sadness and mentioned that he was privately reaching out to Mr Humphries' family.</p> <p>Charles' connection with Humphries extended beyond formalities. The duo's friendship was a source of joy and laughter, exemplified by Humphries' memorable performance as Dame Edna at the 2013 Royal Variety Performance. </p> <p>Lord Archer, a close friend of Humphries, has also revealed that the King attended many of the comedian's shows, even bringing his sons, Prince William and Prince Harry, backstage when they were young boys.</p> <p>The Australian newspaper also revealed recently that Charles sent Humphries an email just hours before his passing, with film director Bruce Beresford sharing the story:</p> <p>"Barry said, 'Well, I always admired him. We always got on well and I really liked his company and enjoyed being with him'," <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Mr Beresdord told the newspaper. </span>"Barry was one of those people, he had a great capacity for friendship. He was so interested in people."</p> <p>Now, years later, the state memorial service at the Sydney Opera House promises to be a fitting tribute to Humphries as family, friends and fans gather to celebrate the comedian's illustrious career. The Australian Chamber Orchestra, a favourite of Humphries, will perform, adding a touch of elegance to the proceedings. The presence of Humphries' widow, Lizzie Spender, and his children at the memorial underscores the profound impact he had on those closest to him.</p> <p>Humphries' association with royalty was not limited to the King; he was a mainstay at royal performances, meeting Queen Elizabeth II and Princess Diana at various events. The comedian's contributions were acknowledged with a CBE by the late Queen in 2007, and he continued to be a familiar face at royal gatherings, including a delightful encounter with Queen Camilla at The Oldie of the Year Awards in 2021.</p> <p>The state memorial, with its mix of laughter, music and shared memories, will undoubtedly be a fitting tribute to a man who brought joy and laughter to millions around the world. </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Caring

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Readers Respond: What's a book you love that most people have never heard of?

<p>Looking for a new book to kickstart your year?  Look no further we've got you covered. </p> <p>Here are a few of our reader's book recommendations that you may not have heard of. </p> <p><strong>Ruth Fontaine</strong> - I’m reading <em>We of the Never Never </em>atm. Not sure if it’s still well known. I’ve read it before but awhile back and love it. I love reading how they lived nearly 120 years ago. </p> <p><strong>Elaine Rosenberg</strong> - <em>The Abbey Girls Series</em> by Elsie J Oxenham.</p> <p><strong>Maryika Welter</strong> - <em>The courage to be disliked.</em> ... Furmitake Kogan, Ichiro Kishimi.</p> <p><strong>Janice Stewart</strong> - <em>A Fortunate Life</em> by Albert Facey</p> <p><strong>Suzanne Midson</strong> - <em>On Our Selection</em> by Steele Rudd. Read it when I was about 10/12. Best laugh ever. Australian humour at its best.</p> <p><strong>Julie Anderson</strong> - <em>Episode of Sparrows</em> by Rumor Goddin </p> <p><strong>Nancie Golsby</strong> - <em>The Half Burned Tree</em> by Dympna Cusack</p> <p><strong>June Maynard</strong> - Sahara, by Paula Constant. Preceded by Slow Journey South. A thrilling, actual account of her adventure.</p> <p><strong>Peter Rayner </strong>- <em>Enforcer</em> by Caesar Campbell</p> <p><strong>Meg Milton</strong> - <em>I Heard the Owl Call My Name</em> by Margaret Craven</p> <p><strong>Edie Dore</strong> - <em>The Curious Incident of the Dog </em>in the Night-time by Mark Haddon.</p> <p><strong>Christine Cornforth</strong> - <em>A Grief Observed</em> by CS Lewis. </p> <p><strong>Wendy Oliver</strong> - <em>The Good Earth</em> by Pearl Buck</p> <p>Do you have any other recommendations that we might have missed?</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Books

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It’s beginning to look a lot like burnout. How to take care of yourself before the holidays start

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophie-scott-1462197">Sophie Scott</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-notre-dame-australia-852">University of Notre Dame Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gordon-parker-94386">Gordon Parker</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p>It’s getting towards the time of the year when you might feel more overwhelmed than usual. There are work projects to finish and perhaps exams in the family. Not to mention the pressures of organising holidays or gifts. Burnout is a real possibility.</p> <p>Burnout is defined by the <a href="https://www.who.int/standards/classifications/frequently-asked-questions/burn-out-an-occupational-phenomenon#:%7E:text=Burn%2Dout%20is%20defined%20in,has%20not%20been%20successfully%20managed.">World Health Organization</a> (WHO) as having three main symptoms – exhaustion, loss of empathy and reduced performance at work.</p> <p>Australian <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34052460/">research</a> argues for a broader model, particularly as the WHO’s third symptom may simply be a consequence of the first two.</p> <p>So what is burnout really? And how can you avoid it before the holidays hit?</p> <h2>More than being really tired</h2> <p>The Australian research model endorsed exhaustion as the primary burnout symptom but emphasised burnout should not be simply equated with exhaustion.</p> <p>The second symptom is loss of empathy (or “compassion fatigue”), which can also be experienced as uncharacteristic cynicism or a general loss of feeling. Nothing much provides pleasure and <em>joie de vivre</em> is only a memory.</p> <p>The third symptom (cognitive impairment) means sufferers find it <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-13/gordon-parker-says-the-burnout-definition-needs-to-broaden/101920366">difficult to focus</a> and retain information when reading. They tend to scan material – with some women reporting it as akin to “baby brain”.</p> <p>Research <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34052460/">suggests</a> a fourth symptom: insularity. When someone is burnt out, they tend to keep to themselves, not only socialising less but also obtaining little pleasure from interactions.</p> <p>A potential fifth key feature is an unsettled mood.</p> <p>And despite feeling exhausted, most individuals report insomnia when they’re burnt out. In severe cases, immune functioning can be compromised (so that the person may report an increase in infections), blood pressure may drop and it may be difficult or impossible to get out of bed.</p> <p>Predictably, such features (especially exhaustion and cognitive impairment) do lead to compromised work performance.</p> <p>Defining burnout is important, as rates have <a href="https://dspace.library.uu.nl/bitstream/handle/1874/420608/Burnout_Fatigue_Exhaustion.pdf?sequence=1&amp;isAllowed=y">increased</a> in the last few decades.</p> <h2>‘Tis the season</h2> <p>For many, the demands of the holidays cause exhaustion and risk burnout. People might feel compelled to shop, cook, entertain and socialise more than at other times of year. While burnout was initially defined in those in formal employment, we now recognise the same pattern can be experienced by those meeting the needs of children and/or elderly parents – with such needs typically increasing over Christmas.</p> <p>Burnout is generally viewed according to a simple stress-response model. Excessive demands lead to burnout, without the individual bringing anything of themselves to its onset and development. But the Australian <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34052460/">research</a> has identified a richer model and emphasised how much personality contributes.</p> <p>Formal carers, be they health workers, teachers, veterinarians and clergy or parents – are <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781003333722/burnout-gordon-parker-gabriela-tavella-kerrie-eyers">more likely</a> to experience burnout. But some other professional groups – such as lawyers – are also at high risk.</p> <p>In essence, “good” people - who are dutiful, diligent, reliable, conscientious and perfectionistic (either by nature or work nurture) – are at the <a href="https://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/2020/06000/A_Qualitative_Reexamination_of_the_Key_Features_of.4.aspx">greatest risk</a> of burnout.</p> <h2>6 tips for avoiding seasonal burnout</h2> <p>You may not be able to change your personality, but you can change the way you allow it to “shape” activities. Prioritising, avoiding procrastination, decluttering and focusing on the “big picture” are all good things to keep in mind.</p> <p>Managing your time helps you regain a sense of control, enhances your efficiency, and reduces the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities.</p> <p><strong>1. Prioritise tasks</strong></p> <p>Rank tasks based on urgency and importance. The Eisenhower Matrix, <a href="https://www.amazon.com.au/7-Habits-Highly-Effective-People/dp/0743269519">popularised</a> by author Stephen R Covey, puts jobs into one of four categories:</p> <ul> <li> <p>urgent and important</p> </li> <li> <p>important but not urgent</p> </li> <li> <p>urgent but not important</p> </li> <li> <p>neither urgent nor important.</p> </li> </ul> <p>This helps you see what needs to be top priority and helps overcome the illusion that everything is <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10159458/">urgent</a>.</p> <p><strong>2. Set realistic goals</strong></p> <p>Break down large goals into smaller, manageable tasks to be achieved each day, week, or month – to prevent feeling overwhelmed. This could mean writing a gift list in a day or shopping for a festive meal over a week. Use tools such as calendars, planners or digital apps to schedule tasks, deadlines and appointments.</p> <p><strong>3. Manage distractions</strong></p> <p>Minimise <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2023-66900-001">distractions</a> that hinder productivity and time management. <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/full/10.1086/691462">Research</a> finds people complete cognitive tasks better with their phones in another room rather than in their pockets. People with phones on their desks performed the worst.</p> <p>Setting specific work hours and website blockers can limit distractions.</p> <p><strong>4. Chunk your time</strong></p> <p>Group similar tasks together and allocate specific time blocks to focus on them. For example, respond to all outstanding emails in one stint, rather than writing one, then task-switching to making a phone call.</p> <p>This approach <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7075496/">increases efficiency</a> and reduces the time spent transitioning between different activities.</p> <p><strong>5. Take breaks</strong></p> <p>A <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2022-90592-001">2022 systematic review</a> of workplace breaks found taking breaks throughout the day improves focus, wellbeing and helps get more work done.</p> <p><strong>6. Delegate</strong></p> <p>Whether at home or work, you don’t have to do it all! Identify tasks that can be effectively delegated to others or automated.</p> <p>To finish the year feeling good, try putting one or more of these techniques into practice and prepare for a restful break.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216175/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophie-scott-1462197"><em>Sophie Scott</em></a><em>, Associate Professor (Adjunct), Science Communication, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-notre-dame-australia-852">University of Notre Dame Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gordon-parker-94386">Gordon Parker</a>, Scientia Professor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-beginning-to-look-a-lot-like-burnout-how-to-take-care-of-yourself-before-the-holidays-start-216175">original article</a>.</em></p>

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7 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

<p>Did you know <em>M*A*S*H</em> ran more than three times longer than the actual Korean War? It may have graced our screens for 11 years, but you might not know all there is to know about the classic TV series, <em>M*A*S*H</em>.</p> <ol> <li><strong>No one wanted a laugh track</strong> – Despite pleas from the show’s producers, the network (CBS) went ahead and added in canned laughter. You might have noticed the laugh track growing quieter and quieter as the years progressed, and in the UK, the laugh track was removed entirely.</li> <li><strong>CBS banned an “unpatriotic” episode</strong> – An idea for an episode was shot down by the network for being “unpatriotic”. It involved soldiers standing outside in the freezing cold to make themselves sick enough to be sent home – a tactic actually used during the war.</li> <li><strong>The writers got back at complaining cast members</strong> – If ever an actor complained about their script (or asked for changes), the writing team would change the script to make it “parka weather”, making the cast swelter in jackets through days in excess of 32°C on their Florida film set.</li> <li><strong>Patients were named after sports teams</strong> – After running out of names for patients visiting the hospital, the writers turned to baseball teams. In season six, four Marines are named after California Angels infielders, while in season seven, they named patients after the 1978 Los Angeles Dodgers.</li> <li><strong><em>M*A*S*H</em> hosted some big-name stars</strong> – Guest appearances on the show include Ron Howard, Leslie Nielsen, Patrick Swayze, Laurence Fishburne and Rita Wilson.</li> <li><strong>The series finale broke records</strong> – The two-and-a-half-hour 1983 series finale, “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen,” was watched by a staggering 121.6 million people in the US alone – back then, that was 77 per cent of households with TV sets. It remains the most-watched episode of a TV show in US history.</li> <li><strong>The time capsule didn’t stay buried long</strong> – In the series’ second-last episode, the <em>M*A*S*H</em> gang bury a time capsule. When the show wrapped up, the land used as the show’s set was sold, and a construction worker found the capsule just months later. After getting in contact with Alan Alda to return it, Alda told the worker he could keep it.</li> </ol> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

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9 things you should never touch in someone else’s house

<p><strong>A hands-off approach</strong></p> <p>Nothing like a global pandemic to critically alter your lifelong and intrinsic sanitary practices, huh? And while we know coronavirus does not spread easily from surfaces, there are still plenty of other germs and bacteria that do. And it’s not always a matter of good hygiene – sometimes it’s just a matter of good manners!</p> <p><strong>The door </strong></p> <p>Of course, you can actually touch the door, but you should never do so to let yourself into someone else’s home without them, or without being invited. Always knock or ring the bell, even if it’s been left unlocked, unless someone has expressly told you that you don’t have to. </p> <p>And please, don’t show up knocking earlier than expected – it could be a huge inconvenience to your host.</p> <p><strong>Their bathroom </strong></p> <p>As with most of the things on this list, you should avoid this unless you’re specifically invited. Try not to stray after your trip to the bathroom for a look around – it’s definitely off-limits if you don’t have permission or are going in without your host knowing. Of course, there are exceptions, as it may not be so serious an offence if you know the person very well, or if one lives in a shared living space, a studio, or an apartment with limited space. </p> <p>And on that note, it’s best to wait until you’re invited to sit or relax on someone’s bed. Many people also find that a bedroom is a convenient place to store coats if there are guests coming over, but wait until they offer instead of assuming it’s OK.</p> <p><strong>The floor - with your shoes on</strong></p> <p>Depending on personal preferences or cultural norms, many households have a no-shoes-inside policy. Take the tip from your host – if they’re wearing shoes in their house, you can probably assume it’s OK for you. When in doubt, ask what they would prefer. </p> <p>Another place you shouldn’t be putting your feet? On the couch or coffee table. I can think of five good reasons you should ban shoes in the house, period.</p> <p><strong>The fridge and cupboards </strong></p> <p>This one might sound like it should go without saying, but some might not realize just how rude it is to help yourself to someone else’s food. If you’re hungry, let your host know, or suggest going out to eat. If you’re staying for a long time, your host will probably prepare and shop for food accordingly, but it’s a good idea to offer to bring or buy some groceries yourself. And if you came for dinner, eat what’s been prepared for you, and offer to bring a dish or wine to share. </p> <p>If you have a restricted diet, let your host know beforehand and prepare a dish to bring if it’s difficult to accommodate. Offer to help cook, and lend a hand with the dishes and cleanup. Countertops are absolutely one of those things you should be cleaning every day, regardless.</p> <p><strong>The windows or thermostat</strong></p> <p>Always let your hosts set the thermostat number – it’s their house, after all, and they’re the ones paying the bill for it. If you’re really too cold, a better option might be to ask to borrow a jumper, or extra blankets if you’ll be staying overnight. </p> <p>Too hot? Suggest an activity to help cool off, like going to a place with air conditioning. If you have a medical condition that makes you particularly sensitive to heat or cold, you should always inform your host ahead of time so you can make plans accordingly.</p> <p><strong>Drawers and cabinets</strong></p> <p>This one is definitely invasive of your host’s privacy. Don’t go rummaging for anything that’s not in plain sight or in the rooms your host is expecting you in. You might find it tempting to snoop, but the medicine cabinet is certainly off-limits.</p> <p><strong>Workspaces, mail, or bills</strong></p> <p>To go along with the last one, it’s always best to avoid snooping. In some homes, a guest bedroom might also double as a home office, so steer clear of using these spaces to store your things. You have no idea how they might have organised their things, so try to leave it as is. Not going through someone’s mail is basic manners!</p> <p><strong>Cigarettes or e-cigarettes </strong></p> <p>Unless your host is doing the same and gives you permission, you should never, ever start smoking a cigarette or e-cigarette in someone’s home. This rule is especially inflexible if there are children in the house. Not only can you expose them to the harmful ingredients and chemicals in cigarettes, but the effects – and the smell – can linger long after you’re gone. </p> <p>If you can’t wait, excuse yourself to go outside, and try to move away from doors and windows so it doesn’t waft into the house. Removing the cigarette and cigar smell is quite the cumbersome task. </p> <p><strong>The Wi-Fi</strong></p> <p>Try to refrain from asking for the Wi-Fi password unless you’re a long-term guest or a very frequent visitor. If you’re asking at the beginning of a dinner party, it’s sending the message that you’d rather be on your phone. Try to stay off of your phone as much as possible to really have quality time when you’re visiting.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/9-things-you-should-never-touch-in-someone-elses-house" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

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