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7 things you should pass on to your grandkids

<p>No one wants to think about what will happen when they’re no longer around, but thoughtfully choosing what to leave to your family will ensure your memory endures long after you’re gone. Here are the 10 things you should pass on to your grandchildren to help them remember you as you always were.</p> <ol> <li><strong>Your passport(s)</strong> – What better token of your life is there than a chronicle of all the incredible places you’ve visited? Your passports will inspire those you love to pack up their bags and follow in your footsteps.</li> <li><strong>Your wedding album</strong> – By passing on your beloved wedding photos, long after you and your partner are gone, your love story will continue to inspire generations after you – and maybe offer some style ideas to vintage-loving brides-to-be in your family!</li> <li><strong>Something belonging to your parents</strong> – If you have an old possession that used to belong to a parent, grandparent or even great-grandparent, giving it to your grandchildren will ensure their ancestors will live on through future generations.</li> <li><strong>Something sentimental</strong> – Photo albums are all well and good, but passing on something you love, which is truly special to you, will always remind your grandchildren of you. Just imagine their smiles as they look down on a watch or ring gifted to them by their beloved nan or pop.</li> <li><strong>A photo of the first time you met them</strong> – Who could forget the first time they meet their newborn grandchild? Share this moment with them and write on the back of the photo just how you felt when you held them for the first time.</li> <li><strong>Your favourite music, books, and movies</strong> – There’s nothing like music to bring back memories of people and places. Fill a bag (or load a USB) with your all-time favourite songs, books and movies so your family will always have something to lift their spirits when they’re feeling down.</li> <li><strong>Stories</strong> – while possessions are great, stories and memories are what will endure for decades after you’ve gone. Any chance you get, share a memory or a story with your loved ones, whether it’s about your life or theirs, and get a conversation going.</li> </ol> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Man destroys girlfriend’s family heirloom, doesn’t understand why she’s upset

<p dir="ltr">A man has been left scratching his head after online commentators tore him to shreds for destroying a family heirloom belonging to his girlfriend.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man posted to Reddit’s ‘Am I the A******’ forum, where people go to ask strangers to adjudicate their interpersonal disputes, deciding who was in the wrong in any given situation.</p> <p dir="ltr">This man wanted to propose to his girlfriend using a ring that had sentimental value, so when he found out that her late grandmother had left her a ring, he decided to remove a diamond from the ring and use that in a new engagement ring.</p> <p dir="ltr">Unfortunately, when he proposed with the new ring, the girlfriend hated it. Her grandmother had only recently passed away in September, and the pair were close as she was her only granddaughter.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man asked his girlfriend’s mother if she thought his idea was a good one, and the mother said that as much as she loved the idea, she didn’t know if her daughter would, and told him to think about it.</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite this caution, he went ahead with his plan, as he “couldn’t find anything else [he] liked as much”. He said that the resulting ring was beautiful, and he thought she would love the sentiment of it.</p> <p dir="ltr">When he proposed and she immediately accepted, he was thrilled, until she saw the ring and her reaction changed. He wrote, “She told me I’d practically vandalized and ruined the only meaningful thing of her grandmothers that she had and that I should have asked. I went to her mom for support, but she just kept saying she warned me that my girlfriend might not like the idea. She said yes to my proposal but refuses to wear the ring, which I just think is disrespectful considering how much money and thought went into it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Commenters were quick to side with the now-fiancée, with one writing “YOU DESTROYED her one family heirloom! You were disrespectful and STOLE her property and then had it destroyed,” while another wrote, “This dude deserves no sympathy, and I cannot even believe he can even question whether he’s wrong,” and several users suggested she dump him.</p> <p dir="ltr">The best laid plans of mice and men…</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Tetra Images/Jamie Grill</em></p>

Relationships

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Why decluttering the family home can be a bad thing

<p>Anne Marr, 68, is a registered hairdresser, whose hobbies include writing, gardening, caring for wild life and learning. She’s also studied health, journalism and pain management.</p> <p>When you’re living in a small stone cottage, ideal for my husband and I to retire to, but full of stuff, it’s a good time to declutter, right? That seems to be all the rage now, doesn’t it? The minimalistic look is in, or so it seems.</p> <p>It was hard.</p> <p>When it came to the books it was very difficult; so many held memories. One in particular came to mind the day my daughter called in and was helping me to decide what I should keep and what should go. “Oh you can’t throw your diaries out,” she said.</p> <p>Many years ago we were struggling through the teenage years – you know the years when they hate you, you can’t possibly understand how they feel and so on. Well, one day when daughter threw this sentence at me angrily, I left the room and headed for my very large book shelf. I’ve always kept a diary, since I was about 12. Yes, there it was; my diary when I was 16. It held all the things I felt at the time and what was happening most days. I took this diary in and gave it to her, saying, “Take note of the date and year won’t you. This is what I wrote when I was your age.” Quite some time later, my daughter came out of her room, gave me a hug, and said, “Oh you do understand how I feel don’t you.” Our communication was open again. Getting rid of everything from your past is not always a good idea and that was proved to me. I now declutter selectively.</p> <p><img width="283" height="189" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/26779/grandmothers-glory-box-seat_283x189.jpg" alt="Grandmother 's Glory Box Seat" style="float: right;"/></p> <p>Someone’s things tell us who they are keep us connected to them. I remember emptying my grandmother’s home, my husband’s mother’s home and going through my father’s boxes of writing. Who knew he wrote so much, but then he was a teacher. I have kept some of his special books, many of his writings and dozens of recipes he wrote (he loved to cook) in his own special folder (more on that later).</p> <p><img width="194" height="291" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/26780/sideboard_194x291.jpg" alt="Sideboard" style="float: left;"/>I have kept my Grandmother’s sideboard and glory box. It’s a seat, very solid wood and can sit two people. The wall above the sideboard holds photos of grandparents, great-grandparents and family. The sideboard and glory box seat was originally handed down from my great-grandmother. My grandmother then handed it down to me. Both are well over 100 years old. In the glory box I keep cherished family items that hold special memories right back to my grandparents’ days. I’m selective and have added notes to each item so future generations won’t wonder, “Who did this belong to, or what was it?”</p> <p>For the books I’ll keep, there is a book shelf that holds the diaries and photo albums. My grandson loved going through these when he was young. When each of my children turned 21 I gave them “This is your life albums” with all the photos taken of them since birth. When my son first left home, he considered his album his most prized possession. It reminded him of where he came from and all the family, even if we were many miles apart.</p> <p>I am still working on decluttering and it may take some time now all the family have moved back home. Since we moved in to our small retirement cottage, my mother has moved in (she was at nursing home stage and Dad couldn’t manage), my son came home from Sydney and moved in, the daughter and grandson moved in, and then my father took sick and also moved in. Our carport was closed in to make another bedroom. The laundry was moved onto the back veranda, trough and all to make yet another bedroom. I was lucky my husband was a licensed electrician and an excellent handy man.</p> <p>Sorting through all my stuff became a real challenge then. I decided to start a large memory folder with plastic sleeves – one for each family member. I put special cards or things that they may want to keep into the folder. I have one too and once a year I write a summary of the year’s happenings, how we celebrated Christmas and New Year and place it in the folder.</p> <p>We’ve decluttered a lot, but it’s a comfortable family home and it still has plenty of stuff. Grandmother’s scales are use every week for cooking. As all her recipes are in pounds and ounces that’s very handy. Daughter has got the new scales for her recipes. We still cook on the wood stove every winter and everyone loves it. The kettle is always on and there’s always a big pot of soup. It may not be a minimalistic home, but it’s a happy one.</p> <p>I just follow my grandmother’s advice, “Everything should have a place and everything should be in its place.” If you declutter too much you lose the character of the home and the family living in it. </p> <p><em><strong>If you have a story to share please get in touch at <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au" target="_blank">melody@oversixty.com.au</a></span>.</strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/07/anne-marr-importance-of-community/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Thank you to my community for helping me in my time of need</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/lessons-i-learnt-from-my-grandmother/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">21 lessons I learnt from my grandmother</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/tips-to-preserve-your-family-history/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">4 tips to preserve your family history</span></em></strong></a></p>

Family & Pets

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10 treasures I’m saving to leave behind to my grandson

<p><strong><em>Pat Simmons, 69, is a writer of poems, short stories, flash fiction and articles. Her work has been published in anthologies and children’s magazines and she has won writer competitions in Australia and the UK.</em></strong></p> <p>For my almost two-year-old grandson, Lewis, these are the 10 treasures I will leave you one day:</p> <ol> <li>My collection of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass books – please read them.</li> <li>A collection of notes written by your Mum, Amy and your Uncle Luke when they were kids – they’ll make you smile.</li> <li>Any pets who have outlived me – could be dog, cat, guinea pig, rabbit or stick insect.</li> <li>My UK Premium Bonds, one of which was purchased by your Great Gran for me in 1957 and it still hasn’t won me a cent.</li> <li>My collection of poetry books, in particular the 100+ year old copies of Tennyson and Wordsworth.</li> <li>My mobile phone which you have used and abused since you were about 15 months old.</li> <li>Your late Grandad’s Levi shirt purchased in the ‘60s – it must be worth a bit now.</li> <li>A piece from the Berlin Wall – history is so important.</li> <li>My grandmother’s hand painted tea set – no-one else seems to want it.</li> <li>Photos of your grandad who sadly died a year before you were born – he would’ve loved you to bits.</li> </ol> <p>If you have a story to share please get in touch at <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au" target="_blank">melody@oversixty.com.au</a>.</strong></span></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/05/how-to-say-no-to-babysitting-grandkids/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>How to say no when you’re unable to babysit grandkids</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/important-things-to-let-little-children-do/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>7 important things little children should be allowed to do</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/what-i-hate-about-being-a-grandparent-today/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Grandparenting in the 21st century</strong></em></span></a></p>

Family & Pets