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How one brave mum is shedding light on postnatal depression through the healing power of music

Warning: This article contains sensitive content which some readers may find distressing. It’s no secret that having a baby changes your life in every way. From sleepless nights and feeding routines, to nappy changes and seemingly endless crying, starting a family is, put simply, a life-altering experience. And while the early days of having a newborn can bring love and chaos in equal parts, for some, the days, weeks and months after giving birth can welcome a whole new set of challenges. While most parents are privy to the “baby blues” and a rough day here and there, those struggling with postnatal depression can often be overlooked. Postnatal depression is common, with one in five mums, and one in 10 dads, experiencing postnatal depression symptoms after their baby is born. For Lija (pronounced Le-ah), postnatal depression completely changed her life. Lija, a music teacher from the Central Coast of New South Wales, welcomed her first child, a beautiful daughter named Harper, into the world at the end of 2017. When Lija discovered she was going to become a mum, she was overcome with fear. Lija spoke exclusively with OverSixty about her journey with postnatal depression, and how her feelings of anxiety began as soon as she fell pregnant. “There was this lie in my head that I could not give birth… That I would die. You feel like you can’t make a way through it and you’re predicting all these complications. [Lija’s friends’ traumatic birth experience] confirmed all these feelings and i just thought ‘Maybe you die from this’.” As soon as Lija and her husband began to celebrate the news of their growing family, she quickly began to “spiral” into self-doubt and depressive episodes. “When I found out I was pregnant, it was a spiral. I didn’t think I was good enough, I was crying so much… I didn’t feel like I could tell anyone because I was so gripped in fear.” “It took me about seven months to accept that I was having a kid.” Over the course of her pregnancy, Lija’s mental health continued to plummet with her feelings of fear and self-doubt, which led her down an even darker path. “The worst part was I was suicidal. There were moments where I wanted to end my life because I just felt like my time was up.” These feelings of helplessness led Lija to reach out to a counsellor, who helped manage her mental health symptoms for the rest of her pregnancy and introduced her to hypnobirthing. Her sessions with a hypnobirthing specialist gave Lija the boost she needed to be in tune with her body, and get her through to Harper’s birth with a sense of confidence. “If I’ve grown a baby, I can give birth to a baby. It was all just focus.” When Harper was born, Lija remembers healthcare professionals warning her husband that her mental health could decline, but she was never spoken to directly. “Apparently nurses were talking to my husband after the birth saying ‘She’s going to be prone to postnatal depression, you need to watch her’, but no one told me I was going to be so lonely.” “I was so focused on the birth going well that I hadn’t thought about what happens after, and I didn’t know what postnatal depression was.” When Lija and her husband brought baby Harper home, as they encountered perfectly common issues around sleep and breastfeeding, Lija thought she had failed as a first-time mum. “I felt like I failed as a mum because I couldn't give Harper everything she needed. And that started all these terrible thoughts and I just started to mentally spiral down again. But I didn’t know for about six months that I had postnatal depression.” During the first few months of Harper’s life, Lija began to find simple day-to-day tasks very difficult. “My poor husband… I was a psycho. It began when I said no one was allowed to come over because I was constantly in my pyjamas and I felt ashamed that my house wasn’t clean.” Lija shared that as she began to settle into the reality of being a mum, Harper’s needs always came first. “I was just in such a routine. I needed to have my baby follow a good structure, which meant my mental health took a backseat. So I just kept spiralling and spiralling.” As Lija tried to better herself, she quickly found out that comparing yourself to other new parents is a slippery slope that welcomes thoughts of self-doubt. “I tried to go to a mum’s club and they all seemed so perfect. I feel like they weren’t real. It was like Instagram mums. So to try and look good, I was spending all this money to try and keep up appearances.” As Lija’s mental health continued to suffer, she said it wasn’t until a difficult conversation with her husband that she realised she needed professional help. “I wasn’t being the normal me. There was no joy, there was no laughter, and I felt like I failed as a mother and as a wife. So my husband said ‘I’ve booked you in for a therapy session’, and that was the start of it.” “I wanted to be better for Harper. I wanted to be a good mum for her. So I had to start working on myself.” Now, five years on, Lija is reflecting on her experience with postnatal depression in the best way she knows how: through her music. Lija’s debut single Save Me details her journey of becoming a mum and bettering herself, while painting an honest portrait of the first months of motherhood. <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tmHTlybb-rM" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> After being a musician for most of her life, Lija’s passion took a backseat when she became a mother. “I started to miss my music, because I've done music my whole life. It was so hard to walk past my studio and see the guitar going to waste. I started to miss the other half of me as a musician.” After working on Save Me for several years, Lija believes it is the right time to put her story out there in order to help and inspire other parents struggling with postnatal depression. “It’s okay to be vulnerable. Be real, because you can help others with your honesty.” “It’s also important to remember that babies aren’t going to remember the best outfits they were in, or if they had the best pram. They're going to remember if they were loved or not.” Lija has long been a champion of music and its healing power, which became a saviour in her darkest times through her postnatal depression journey. “I went back to teaching music three months after having Harper. I worked one day a week and these kids and teenagers that were singing to me were actually healing me with their music and their talent.” “Music is something I have always turned to. It has always spoken to me, and I thought if I write a song about my journey, that could heal me too. I thought ‘It’s time to kick fear in the butt and write about life’.” Musical talent is something that runs in the family, with Harper’s singing talents already at “the next level”. “I swear she came out singing! Her ability to hear pitch is insane. In lockdown, she would be singing scales while I was teaching music classes over Zoom. She is just so joyous, and she is like my healing.” Lija’s debut single Save Me is out on now. Don't go it alone. Please reach out for help. Lifeline: 13 11 14 or <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">lifeline.org.au</a> Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or <a href="http://beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a> Headspace: 1800 650 890 or <a href="http://headspace.org.au/">headspace.org.au</a> PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 726 306 or <a href="https://panda.org.au/">panda.org.au</a> Image credits: Instagram

Music

Music and mental health: the parallels between Victorian asylum treatments and modern social prescribing

Music has a powerful effect on the listener. It is linked to <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01483-8">better mental health</a>, and it has been shown to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0305735617703811?journalCode=poma">alleviate loneliness, pain, anxiety and depression</a>. For this reason, it is increasingly being prescribed by doctors as a form of medicine. This practice – where patients are referred to various activities such as running groups, art classes and choirs – is known as <a href="https://www.england.nhs.uk/personalisedcare/social-prescribing/">social prescribing</a>. Music-based activities may be prescribed to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13612-016-0048-0">help support</a> patients’ <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08098131.2018.1432676">mental health</a>, <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-76240-1_9">combat isolation</a>, encourage <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17482631.2020.1732526">physical activity</a>, and <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnagi.2021.693791/full">keep an active brain</a>. While social prescribing is a relatively new practice, the use of music as a therapeutic tool is not. The first widespread use of music as a therapeutic tool can be traced back to the 19th century, where it was used in Victorian asylums to support patients’ treatment. <h2>Music in asylums</h2> Victorian asylums are usually associated with poor sanitation, overcrowding, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1179/0308018813Z.00000000063">danger</a> and patients held against their will. Indeed, the Victorians had little understanding of mental illness and the brain, which meant <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/030802269005301009">many treatments </a>considered barbaric today were used on patients – including bleeding, leeching, shaving the head and bathing in ice. From the end of the 18th century, however, practitioners moved away from the worst types of physical restraint. A new practice emerged, known as “<a href="https://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/objects-and-stories/medicine/victorian-mental-asylum#:%7E:text=The%20Victorian%20mental%20asylum%20has,humane%20attitude%20towards%20mental%20healthcare.">moral management</a>”, which placed a focus on using employment, diet, surroundings and recreational activities as <a href="https://historicengland.org.uk/research/inclusive-heritage/disability-history/1832-1914/daily-life-in-the-asylum/">forms of therapy</a>. When state-run asylums were first introduced in Britain in the <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/cure-comfort-and-safe-custody-9780718500948/">early 19th century</a>, music soon became included as a <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-030-78525-3">form of moral management</a> to distract patients outside of working hours and keep them occupied. Both music and dance were efficient ways of entertaining large numbers of patients. By the middle of the 19th century, almost all the larger asylums in the UK had their own band and would often organise dances, attended by over a hundred patients. Asylums also hosted concerts by travelling performers, from comic sketches to solo singers and amateur choirs. Dances and concerts were usually the only opportunities for patients to meet in a large group, providing important social interaction. Among the <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/royal-musical-association-research-chronicle/article/music-as-therapy-for-the-exceptionally-wealthy-at-the-nineteenthcentury-ticehurst-asylum/CBB82DA05DAB7A9D47636BCE2DF9DBB7">smaller asylums</a>, chiefly catering for wealthier patients, patients had more options to create music as part of their treatment. They would often bring instruments with them. And small concerts put on by patients and staff were common. <h2>The benefits of music</h2> Much of the therapeutic value of music was attached to its social function. Accounts suggest that patients benefited from the anticipation of these social engagements and that events were used to reward good behaviour. Music was also used to break up the monotony of asylum life. For example, <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-78525-3_11">at one private asylum</a>, Dr Alfred Wood, wrote, "These entertainments involved a great amount of trouble in their preparation and arrangement and, I may add, considerable expense; but they are invaluable as a relief to the monotony of life in an Asylum. The pleasure they afford as well in anticipation as in reality, is ample to compensate for the efforts made to present them …" Dances, in particular, offered exercise and enjoyment, and even patients who were unable to dance enjoyed the music and watching fellow patients. Musical events also carried strict expectations of behaviour. Patients needed a good deal of self-control to participate and behave appropriately. It was this process of conforming to expectations that formed an important part of rehabilitation. William A.F. Browne, one of the most noteworthy asylum doctors of the era, wrote in 1841 about the <a href="https://wellcomecollection.org/works/dkxnvx35/items?canvas=91">self-control</a> needed before, during and after amusements. Others suggested that music would help <a href="https://wellcomecollection.org/works/vmmq4wv8/items?canvas=216">remind patients of happier days</a> and give them hope and pleasure during their treatment. Browne also cited the “powers of music to soothe, enliven, rouse, or melt”. He suggested that even difficult patients may benefit from music, <a href="https://wellcomecollection.org/works/far6jdph/items?canvas=26">writing</a>: “There is or may be a hidden life within him which may be reached by harmony.” The writer James Webster <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/s1-5/114/197.2">recorded in 1842</a> that: “In many, the effect produced by the music upon their countenances and behaviour was often quite apparent.” Records include many stories of patients seemingly cured by music. Webster cites the example of a young girl, previously “morose” and “stupefied”, who under the influence of music, seemed “pleased” and “cheerful” – appearing “altogether a changed creature”. Browne also wrote in one of his books of the <a href="https://wellcomecollection.org/works/far6jdph/items?canvas=26">miraculous effect</a> music had on one patient who awoke, cured, the morning after listening to a performance of Scottish traditional melodies. <h2>Music as treatment</h2> In the 1890s, many doctors carried out experiments on the relationship between music and mental illness. Herbert Hayes Newington, medical superintendent of one of the era’s most prestigious asylums, used music to diagnose patients and <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-mental-science/article/abs/some-mental-aspects-of-music/A87C190163A86070D4445A830E656557">help develop theories</a> on how the brain works. Reverend Frederick Kill Harford, who campaigned to provide music in public hospitals during the early 1890s, believed music could <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/2/1603/667">treat depression</a>, alleviate physical pain and help with sleep. Although music remained in asylums as a form of <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-life-was-like-in-mental-hospitals-in-the-early-20th-century-119949">therapy</a>, interest in it as a large-scale treatment waned as innovations such as <a href="https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp-rj.2020.160103">electroconvulsive therapy</a> emerged in the 20th century. For patients in Victorian asylums, therefore, music was an important part of mental health treatment – not only providing an opportunity for creative engagement but also fulfilling a range of social, emotional and intellectual needs. Given what we know now about the <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01483-8">benefit of music on mental health</a>, it’s no wonder doctors are making use of it again. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/music-and-mental-health-the-parallels-between-victorian-asylum-treatments-and-modern-social-prescribing-200576" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Music

Can reading help heal us and process our emotions – or is that just a story we tell ourselves?

The <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/4306897">oldest known library</a>, dating back to the second millennium BC, in Thebes, Egypt, reportedly bore a sign above its portals in Greek: Psyches Iatreion, translated as “healing place of the soul”. The idea that reading may confer healing benefits is not new, but continues to intrigue readers and researchers. Of course, this doesn’t apply to reading about how to put up the tent, or tidy our piles of household stuff. When we talk about books that might offer a balm for the soul, we mean fiction, poetry and narrative non-fiction (including memoir). The idea of emotional catharsis through reading is intuitively appealing. But does it work that way? Or do we read for interest, pleasure, escapism – or love of words? <h2>Reading as catharsis and transport</h2> “The highest aspiration of art is to move the audience,” claims <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/609280/a-swim-in-a-pond-in-the-rain-by-george-saunders/">George Saunders</a>. Who is not still moved by the first book that affected them on a cellular level – whether that’s Storm Boy, The Little Prince, or their high-school reading of To Kill a Mockingbird? According to the authors of <a href="https://www.textpublishing.com.au/books/the-novel-cure">The Novel Cure: an A-Z of Literary Remedies</a>, "novels have the power to transport you into another existence, and see the world from a different point of view […] sometimes it’s the story that charms; sometimes it’s the rhythm of the prose that works on the psyche, stilling or stimulating." Humans imitate or re-present the world through art: poetry, drama and epic. That drive, claimed <a href="https://www.amherst.edu/system/files/media/1812/The%252520Poetics%252520of%252520Aristotle%25252C%252520by%252520Aristotle.pdf">Aristotle</a>, sets humans apart from animals. In 1987 Jerome Bruner proposed that “world making” is the “principal function of mind”, in both the sciences and arts. As humans, we are drawn to the momentum of narrative to tell our stories, <a href="https://ewasteschools.pbworks.com/f/Bruner_J_LifeAsNarrative.pdf">he says</a>. We seek to make sense of the events in our lives, as if life really were a three-act play with a clear narrative arc. (Conveniently summarised as: “Get him up a tree; throw rocks at him; get him down.”) <h2>How reading works</h2> Reading is one way we seek to understand our worlds. Evolutionary psychologists propose the brain is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/009164710203000101">“designed for reading”</a>, just as it is for language, facial recognition or other drives. The act of reading engages both cognitive and – especially where there’s a narrative – emotional processes. Children learning to read must first grasp the basics of recognition (sound-letter-phoneme-word) and then proceed to the higher-order cognitive skill of comprehension of the meaning of the text (semantics). It is at that next level of meaning-making that words connect and stir the emotions. That might be fear (<a href="https://theconversation.com/frankenstein-how-mary-shelleys-sci-fi-classic-offers-lessons-for-us-today-about-the-dangers-of-playing-god-175520">Frankenstein</a>), love (<a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/pride-and-prejudice-9780241374887">Pride and Prejudice</a>), outrage (Germaine Greer’s polemic <a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-the-female-eunuch-at-50-germaine-greers-fearless-feminist-masterpiece-147437">The Female Eunuch</a>) or existential angst (Albert Camus’ philosophical novel L’Etranger/<a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-outsider-9780141198064">The Outsider</a>). But how does this process “work”? Or, as Saunders puts it: “How does [the writer] seduce, persuade, console, distract?” <h2>How reading between the gaps invites us in</h2> World or meaning making can occur directly by acquiring knowledge (for example, when reading that tent manual) or indirectly, through our engagement with the social world, art and our meaning-making faculties. Works of art invite thought and feeling. This “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27449184/">indirect communication</a>” of literature is one of the unique affordances (or benefits) it offers readers. Meaning-making <a href="https://www.onfiction.ca/p/books.html">is</a> a transaction between author, text and reader; the “gap” between the words and the reader’s interpretation, shaped by their own experiences and predispositions, is critical. Thus, an author might seek to move a reader – but whether the reader is moved will depend on individual circumstances and preferences. (Not the least among these is the skill of the writer, of course.) <a href="https://theconversation.com/book-week-is-good-for-kids-and-book-clubs-are-great-for-adults-30783">Book clubs</a>, where heated discussions can be motivated by how books and their characters made readers feel, are a great example. So is consumer review site <a href="https://theconversation.com/in-the-world-of-goodreads-do-we-still-need-book-reviewers-56455">Goodreads</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-booktok-and-how-is-it-influencing-what-australian-teenagers-read-182290">#BookTok</a>, the sector of TikTok where books that make readers cry dominate. As <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/609280/a-swim-in-a-pond-in-the-rain-by-george-saunders/">Flannery O’Connor</a> says, “the writer can choose what he writes about but he cannot choose what he is able to make live” (my italics). In other words, some books will always speak to some readers. And those same books will leave other readers cold – or even make them regret joining a book club. <h2>What neuroscience tells us about reading</h2> Virginia Woolf wrote of books as “<a href="http://lemasney.com/consulting/2015/05/05/books-are-the-mirrors-of-the-soul-virginia-woolf-cc-by-lemasney/">mirrors of the soul</a>”. And contemporary neuropsychologists have proven it, with brain-imaging studies. These studies have demonstrated that when a person indirectly experiences an event associated with an emotion, the same regions of the brain are activated as if they had experienced the event directly. We feel disgust, whether we actually discover (or half-eat) the maggot in the ham sandwich or view a TikTok video of the simulated event. The same fear is elicited in the brain when we walk a tightrope in a virtual reality simulation, view the film of Phillipe Petit in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3488710/">The Walk</a>, or high-wire walk ourselves (do not try this at home). Mirror neurons prompt us to yawn or smile or frown when another person yawns, smiles or frowns. The other person – the protagonist, in a book – can be completely fictional, the entire plot make-believe: yet we still cry. Who of us hasn’t wept real tears when tragedy befalls a favourite character in a novel? (For me, it’s the death of shell-shocked World War I soldier Septimus in Virginia Woolf’s novel <a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/mrs-dalloway-9780241468647">Mrs Dalloway</a>.) <h2>The psychology of fiction</h2> University of Toronto professor emeritus and author-psychologist <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Such+Stuff+as+Dreams:+The+Psychology+of+Fiction-p-9780470974575">Keith Oatley</a> explains that reading narratives allows us to “simulate” a social world where we identify with characters and their struggles, and observe their way of solving conflicts. This way we can process emotional content and solve life’s problems indirectly. It’s much more effective than being given the solution! Oatley’s research has also demonstrated that readers’ long-term engagement in fiction (especially literary fiction) <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27449184/">improves their empathy</a> and their ability to take the perspective of another person (referred to as “Theory of Mind”). Oatley suggests: “We need not lead one life; through fiction we can lead many lives”. In this sense, reading can prompt us to understand the inner lives of others as well as our own. It can even help us to re-imagine the narrative of our lives – especially if we are not happy with the one we are actually leading. In this way, reading can provide both escape and a way to imagine (and perhaps start to plan for) alternative ways to live. In her book <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1kgqwk8">Why We Read Fiction</a>, Lisa Zunshine argues "fiction helps us to pattern in newly nuanced ways our emotions and perceptions […] it creates new forms of meaning for our everyday existence." Quite apart from the practical benefits of this kind of cognitive and emotional gymnastics, Zunshine says our biggest reason for doing it is enjoyment itself. Does reading prompt emotional catharsis? Marcel Proust wrote that a novelist can, in an hour, “set free all kinds of happiness and misfortune which would take years of our ordinary lives to know”. Reading, as a hard-wired impetus and a form of engaging with art, allows us to process our emotions. Importantly, this can be at a distance. We don’t have to directly, for example, pursue forbidden love and sort out the ensuing mess (Graham Greene’s <a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-end-of-the-affair-9780099478447">The End of the Affair</a>), or cope alone with alienation or discrimination (Alice Walker’s <a href="https://www.hachette.com.au/alice-walker/the-color-purple-the-classic-pulitzer-prize-winning-novel">The Colour Purple</a>). We can scare ourselves without ever having to go into the dark woods. We can access experiences unavailable to us in life – and the positive feelings they produce can remain with us. For example, we can transform ourselves into magical, powerful heroes and heroines who prevail against impossible odds (<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-tolkien-and-lord-of-the-rings-inspired-the-commercial-and-artistic-success-of-the-fantasy-fiction-genre-170958">Lord of the Rings</a>). Saunders suggests art (including literature) might be "an offering of sorts – a hypothesis for both writer and reader to take up and consider together […] the goal of that offering might be to ease the reader’s way; to make the difficulty of this life less for her. We try to give the reader a way of thinking about reality that is truthful, yes, and harsh, if need be, but not gratuitously harsh, a way of thinking that, somehow, helps her." Image: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-reading-help-heal-us-and-process-our-emotions-or-is-that-just-a-story-we-tell-ourselves-197789" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. <figure></figure>

The truth behind the healing power of music

If you’ve suffered anything from a bad day to a devastating loss, you probably know that one of the first and best places to turn to is music. According to recent studies, there’s a reason for that: it’s scientifically proven to be healing and cathartic. According to a study performed by the University of Missouri, people are actually able to lift themselves out of a low emotional state by playing contrastingly cheerful music if they consciously attempt to feel happier while doing so. Significantly, study participants who were instructed to attempt to raise their moods while listening to upbeat music were able to achieve this in the immediate short term period and even increased their overall happiness over the course of two weeks. On the other end of the spectrum, another study, conducted by the University of California and Berkely, found that even sad songs can help to heal a “broken” heart. According to the researchers, "Under certain circumstances, consumers in negative moods might choose aesthetic experiences consistent with their mood even when more pleasant alternatives are also available." So basically, music can be a self-indulgent means of experiencing and working through our emotions. So whether your choice of music is The Rolling Stones’ melancholy Out of Tears, Zeppelin’s heart breaking, Baby Come on Home, The Beatles’ optimistic Getting Better, or Clapton’s rebellious Cocaine, your impulse to turn to music in hard times is actually backed up by science. Image credits: Getty Images

Music

8 key steps to healing after loss

Healing may mean different things to different people and may also look different, but it has one common theme: getting better. Healing may seem simple, yet it is a complex process that often involves many intricate aspects and phases coming together in perfect synchronicity. In straightforward terms, healing means finding relief and getting and feeling better, which can be felt physically, emotionally and spiritually. Healing is not an easy process and nobody knows how long it will take for any individual to start feeling better. However, one thing is for sure: healing needs your active participation, and possibly even your complete devotion. It can be hard work and it requires intention, focus, support, faith, understanding, compassion, empathy and a large dose of love. Healing from any type of loss is a lifelong commitment. Although the work of healing yourself is always ongoing, it can be seen as a promise to be restored, a pledge to feel joy again. Through my exploration into healing my own trauma and working with grief I have found eight key elements that are vital in helping to move forward and embrace the joy of living. It can be a tough process but I have learned one simple fact: there is nothing wrong with admitting I am a work in progress and I am not perfect. You are a work in progress and you are not perfect, and that is completely fine. Acceptance of who you have become and who you are at the present moment will bring you inner peace. I hope you will find the eight key elements useful on your healing journey. 1. Make your intention to heal clear to the universe and, more importantly, to yourself. Use the following affirmation: ‘I am ready to heal.’ 2. Focus your attention: do not allow distractions or self-destructive talk. Take a few cleansing breaths to focus your mind and direct your attention on what you need to address in order to ease the healing process. 3. Keep an open heart: always keep your heart open to welcoming love and joy no matter how hard it is. 4. Release everything that does not serve you in your quest for healing. Use the following affirmation: ‘I release any negative energy that is obstructing my healing process. I invite only positive energy to bless my healing process.’ 5. Commit to undertaking the healing work every day. Use the following affirmation: ‘I commit to always do what it takes to heal every single day.’ 6. Have hope: inculcate a desire for change, as it will keep the flame of trust burning. 7. Love: love is our blueprint for life. Always go back to love. 8. Have faith: faith is knowing deep inside you will be all right. You may never be complete, but you will still be doing just fine. Do not fear grief, for it is a natural process and a partner in your healing. Remember: healing is an ongoing process so always be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Edited extract from The Art of Grieving: Gentle self-care practices to heal a broken heart (Rockpool Publishing, $29.95), by Corinne Laan. Now available where all good books are sold and online at <a href="http://www.rockpoolpublishing.co" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.rockpoolpublishing.co</a> Image: Shutterstock

Relationships

“Healing from grief is an inside job”: Why Ashley Judd found and met with her abuser

Content warning: This article includes mentions of sexual assault, rape and child sexual abuse (CSA). Ashley Judd has opened up about the conversation she had with the man who raped her more than two decades ago. The Double Jeopardy star spoke about confronting the man who assaulted her in 1999 during an appearance on the podcast Healing With David Kessler, telling host David Kessler that they had a “restorative-justice conversation”. “To make a long story short, we ended up in rocking chairs sitting by a creek together,” Judd said. “And I said, ‘I’m very interested in hearing the story you’ve carried all these years’. And we had a restorative-justice conversation about that. "I wanted to share that story because there are many ways of healing from grief, and it's important to remind listeners that I didn't need anything from him and it was just gravy that he made his amends and expressed his deep remorse because healing from grief is an inside job." The 54-year-old added that she didn’t need closure from the man, whose identity is still unknown, or “his cooperation” or “for him to make amends” to continue healing, and that she was just “very interested in hearing” his side of the story. "Because I had the opportunity to do my trauma work, to do my grief work, to do my healing work, to have all these shifts in my own consciousness and to bond in these female coalition spaces with other survivors," Judd said. Recalling the incident, Judd described it as “crazy-making” and “unconscionable”. "I was very clear, my boundaries were intact. I was already an empowered, adult feminist woman," she recalled. "And that this could happen under these circumstances was unconscionable, unforeseen, and yet I have had a restorative-justice process with this person out of how replete my soul is today." Judd has publicly spoken about being a three-time rape survivor in the past and shared her story for the first time in her 2011 memoir, All That Is Bitter & Sweet, and again in an <a href="https://www.mic.com/articles/113226/forget-your-team-your-online-violence-toward-girls-and-women-is-what-can-kiss-my-ass" target="_blank" rel="noopener">op-ed</a> she wrote for Mic.com’s ‘Pass the Mic’ series. "I am a survivor of sexual assault, rape and incest," she wrote at the time. "The summer of 1984 was tough for me. I experienced two rapes by an adult and systematic molestation from another adult, who also had another man in the room watching … This January, I read three different things that freshly triggered an additional, very specific memory from age 15 – an attempted oral rape by yet another adult man." If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse and need support, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit their <a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">website</a>, or contact <a href="https://blueknot.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BlueKnot</a> on 1300 657 380. Image: Getty Images

Mind

"Sometimes I don’t have the words for things": how we are using art to research stigma and marginalisation

There’s growing recognition that creative pursuits like painting, singing or dancing can have a <a href="https://www.culturehealthandwellbeing.org.uk/appg-inquiry/Publications/Creative_Health_Inquiry_Report_2017_-_Second_Edition.pdf">positive impact</a> on physical and mental health, can <a href="https://www.artshealthresources.org.uk/docs/what-is-the-evidence-on-the-role-of-the-arts-in-improving-health-and-well-being-a-scoping-review/">lessen isolation</a>, and can increase connection to community. Creative activities can also be an <a href="https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1245315.pdf">effective and safe way</a> to learn about people’s life experiences, especially those that are upsetting or hard to talk about. Our team <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-this-collaboration-between-artists-and-health-care-leaders-teaches-us-about-living-through-covid-19-167637">uses art as a research tool</a> to help increase understanding about mental health and well-being, and to build better systems of care and support. We are using art to learn about stigma and marginalisation as a result of mental distress, disability or a refugee background. We collaborated with 35 people who identify as women, who have told us that making art and being creative is a powerful tool for self-empowerment. <h2>Giving voice to the unsaid</h2> Women who experience <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-still-stigmatize-mental-illness-and-that-needs-to-stop-169518">mental illness</a>, <a href="https://throughmyeyes.photography/work">disability</a> or who have a <a href="https://theconversation.com/building-trust-with-migrant-and-refugee-communities-is-crucial-for-public-health-measures-to-work-167180">refugee background</a> routinely experience stigma and discrimination. This can have profound impacts, including reduced <a href="https://cdn.who.int/media/docs/default-source/mental-health/quality-rights/update-2020-infosheet-dignity-final-01.pdf?sfvrsn=49c243fd_4">quality of life</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/structural-stigma-against-mental-illness-is-baked-in-to-our-health-system-and-that-affects-care-153943">barriers</a> to accessing health care, reduced <a href="https://pure.bond.edu.au/ws/portalfiles/portal/38131068/Impacts_of_stigma_and_discrimination_in_the_workplace_on_people_living_with_psychosis.pdf">employment prospects</a>, reduced access to <a href="https://www.ssi.org.au/images/stories/documents/publications/Final-SSI-Report-Women-at-risk.pdf">affordable housing</a> and diminished opportunity to <a href="https://wwda.org.au/2019/12/position-paper-the-status-of-women-and-girls-with-disability-in-australia/">experience motherhood</a>. The experience of stigma and discrimination often remains invisible. It can be upsetting to talk about and hard to describe. Creative activities, like making art, can help bring these experiences to light. Art can offer a way to express things that are tricky to say out loud. As one participant in our study reflected, "Sometimes I don’t have the words for things … [art was] a really alternative way to express something without having to necessarily have the words for it." Art can act like a mnemonic (prompting memories and recollections), can help people feel relaxed and safe when exploring upsetting experiences, can help people feel in control of their own stories, and enables them to share these stories in ways they feel comfortable with. In <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32731565/">our research</a> we used a form of art creation called “body mapping”. Body mapping <a href="https://journals.library.ualberta.ca/ari/index.php/ari/article/view/29337">involves</a> tracing your body onto a large piece of paper or fabric and then decorating this outline by drawing, painting, sewing, collage and writing. The body maps that participants created are visually striking, and each one tells a unique life story. These body maps were used as a jumping-off point to discuss the themes and experiences they encompass. <h2>Mapping stigma</h2> Participants explored the way stigma exists on a spectrum, ranging from subtle (indifference or ignorance) to overt (bullying, verbal and physical abuse). One participant wrote the words “now let’s add stigma” to her map to represent the way stigma had made it hard and scary to seek medical support. When we spoke about her map, she told us, "I thought mental illness was like you’re locked away in a psych ward and left to die, that there is no help […] that’s what I got from social media and television." Another participant represented her body as a multicoloured jigsaw puzzle to symbolise the “many fragments and pieces that makes you, you”. The jigsaw also represented her experience of healthcare, with doctors only seeing one piece of her and not acknowledging or offering support for other pieces. As she reflected, "People with disabilities are people first and they too have mental health needs just like the rest of the world. And I think that for far too long this cohort of people have been overlooked and underrepresented." Stigma was often identified as the reason participants felt the need to hide their feelings or pretend they were not struggling. One participant drew two bodies on her map to represent this, "That is showing that you do work to the point of exhaustion everyday to make sure that you’re presenting in an appropriate way, but actually behind the scenes is what people don’t see." Participants also used maps to celebrate their strength, resilience and the positive influences in their lives like friends, family, pets and nature. Making art was a common positive influence. Participants saw art as an avenue for self-expression, meditation, relaxation and a way to process feelings. Participants also told us making art as part of the research project allowed them to take stock and reflect on their experiences. They also used the research as an opportunity to reach new artistic heights. As one participant reflected, "My body map is by far the greatest piece of art I have created." <h2>The power of art</h2> An important takeaway from this work is the power and importance of art in well-being, health and social inclusion. Participants remarked that they wished body mapping workshops, or other free creative activities, were regularly accessible. Having a safe, supportive space to be creative and share their experiences with others was affirming and therapeutic. Art was a powerful way to share stories, shine a light on injustice, and encourage empathy and respect for difference. A participant said it best when they remarked, "It’s empowering for everybody to have a voice [through art] and to be able to tell their story. That’s powerful." Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/sometimes-i-dont-have-the-words-for-things-how-we-are-using-art-to-research-stigma-and-marginalisation-183819" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Art

The mother and daughter duo healing each other with art

Gumbaynggirr woman Melissa Greenwood and her mum, Lauren Jarrett, know a thing or two about going through difficult times. They both hail from the Gumbaynggirr, Dunghutti and Bundjalung tribes of the east coast of New South Wales, where Lauren is a survivor of the Stolen Generations. In 1966, she was stolen from her family at Bowraville on the NSW mid-north coast and placed in the Cowper Orphanage, near Grafton. Lauren was just nine years old at the time. "It was like the end of the world. You have no idea what's going on, you're not really told anything. It's devastating," she told the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-01-06/melissa-greenwood-and-mum-heals-stolen-generation-hurt-with-art/100718998">ABC</a>. "You're just taken away from your loved ones, put in a car with strangers. "In those days they had nuns with those long habits and big crosses, and headpieces; and I had no idea where I was or who they were. I had never seen a nun before. "It was overwhelming … anything to do with your culture was banned." When she was 18, Lauren was released from the orphanage and went looking for her family, who were thrilled with her long-awaited return. Now 63, Lauren went on to have two daughters and a son and raised them all as a single mother. Lauren’s daughter Melissa said, "We grew up below the poverty line and struggling with her trauma, and then inter-generational trauma that was passed down. It was really difficult." Together, their struggles as Indigenous women pushed them to strive for more. In 2020, the pair started an art business which they called <a href="https://miimiandjiinda.com/collections/prints">Miimi & Jiinda</a>, meaning mother and sister. After just a few short months, their business is thriving and has completely turned their lives around. "It's really a beautiful thing," Melissa says. "It's just stemmed from me really wanting to see my mum happy and to give her a bit of confidence and get her out in the world and see her beauty. "We just started to paint and weave together and create together and then it just really took off." For both women, creating art together has helped them heal from past inter-generational trauma, and provided an outlet for them to share their connection to their culture. Melissa says she “paints from the heart” and uses her creations to help tell their stories as strong Aboriginal women. "Mum raised us to be very culturally strong and culturally proud," she says. "A lot of the artworks I do are inspired by my connection to my ancestors, to my culture and to my people. "It's just that loving heart energy, that Gumbaynggirr energy." Image credits: Instagram @barefootwandering.photography

Art

Explainer: what is music therapy?

Defining music therapy is challenging because the practice is so diverse; but the <a href="http://www.austmta.org.au/">Australian Music Therapy Association</a> (AMTA) uses the following definition: "Music therapy is a research-based practice and profession in which music is used to actively support people as they strive to improve their health, functioning and wellbeing." Music therapy is the intentional use of music by a university-trained professional who is registered with the AMTA. Registered music therapists draw on an extensive body of research and are bound by a code of ethics that informs their practice. They incorporate a range of music-making methods within a therapeutic relationship and are employed in a variety of sectors including health, community, aged care, disability, early childhood, and private practice. Music therapy is different from music education and entertainment as it focuses on health, functioning and wellbeing, and music therapists work with people of any age and ability, culture or background. <h2>History</h2> The use of music in healing has had a long history, but music therapy as a profession began to develop formally in USA in the 1950s to help war veterans suffering from physical and emotional problems. The demand for a university curriculum grew as hospital musicians needed training. The <a href="http://www.musictherapy.org/">American Association for Music Therapy</a> was established in 1971 and the Australian Association soon after in 1975 by music therapy pioneers <a href="http://www.austmta.org.au/about-us/honoured-members">Dr Ruth Bright</a> and <a href="http://www.conservatorium.unimelb.edu.au/staff/denisegrocke">Emeritus Professor Denise Grocke</a>. As anyone who sings or plays a musical instrument will tell you, making music, especially with others, is great for the mind, body and soul. The benefits flow whether you are an accomplished musician or an enthusiastic amateur. Music therapists draw on the benefits of music to help people of all ages and abilities attain and maintain good health and wellbeing. They work in a range of places including hospitals, nursing homes, schools and the community, delivering tailor-made programs to meet specific needs. <h2>Endorphin, dopamine and oxytocin triggers</h2> The techniques used by music therapists can include writing songs for or with clients, free or structured movement to music activities, singing and vocal activities, improvisation, playing traditional instruments or digital music equipment, listening to recorded music and engaging socially in a group setting. The ability of music to change our mood seems to be related to the production of different chemicals in the brain. Endorphins triggered by music listening and music-making provide a kind of natural pain relief, where dopamine leads to feelings of buoyancy, optimism, energy and power. This may explain the kinds of “flow” and “peak” experiences often described as being evoked by both music-listening and more active musical participation. Impacts are even more potent for group music-making, because shared, positive experiences also release oxytocin, a brain tool for building trust. In this way, musical relationships develop encouraging non-verbal and emotional expression and building self-esteem, motivation and confidence. <h2>Music therapy in neurorehabilitation</h2> Music is processed widely across the brain in connection to memories, emotions and communication. Developments in brain-scanning technology show that making music increases brain activity, creating new pathways across both hemispheres of the brain. This makes music therapy especially beneficial in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurorehabilitation">neurorehabilitation</a> where the organising function of rhythm in music can be used to rehabilitate movement and speech following a brain injury or stroke. <h2>Music therapy and dementia</h2> There is a strong connection between music and memory as can be attested by the flood of emotion stimulated by hearing significant songs, or the annoying advertising jingles that get stuck in your brain. Music therapists use this feature of music to help people with memory difficulties access important pieces of information in specifically composed songs. Memory for music is closely linked to emotions and both are processed deeply within the brain. Memory for song lyrics often remains long after other memory and verbal ability have deteriorated for people with dementia. Music therapy often awakens something within people in late-stage dementia and can stimulate windows of lucidity, providing family members with glimpses of the person they love. <h2>Music therapy in children’s hospitals</h2> Music therapy is frequently used in children’s hospitals for pain and anxiety management during procedures and to engage children in a normalising activity that is unrelated to them being unwell. This provides an opportunity for choice and control in an environment where they have little control over everything else. In special education, music therapists work with children with intellectual and/or physical disabilities to help them meet developmental and educational goals. This may include using music to increase opportunities for cognitive and sensory stimulation and to help develop motor skills, orientation and mobility. Music therapy provides an outlet for a child’s emotional expression, increased awareness of the immediate environment and other people, and enhances self-confidence through active music making. It can also help improve a child’s social skills and communication. <h2>Teenagers and music</h2> Young people spend a significant amount of time engaging with music and vulnerable teenagers spend even more so. Music therapists in adolescent mental health use this strong connection that teens have with music as a resource in grappling with their emerging mental health problems. The Australian Research Council has recently funded a research project headed by <a href="http://www.conservatorium.unimelb.edu.au/staff/katrinaskewesmcferran">Assoc. Prof Katrina McFerran</a> to investigate the music uses of young people with and without mental ill-health with a view to early identification and early intervention in adolescence. Image credits: Getty Images This article first appeared in <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-music-therapy-20154" target="_blank">The Conversation</a>.

Music

How art museums are helping to heal their audiences

The COVID-19 pandemic saw a worldwide increase in depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. As a response to the global mental health problems, art galleries and museums are responding to the collective trauma with specialised art installations and programmes. The last 18 months has seen a drastic increase of museum-based healing initiatives, that are available online and in person. The Queens Museum in New York has launched La Ventanita/The Little Window, an online art therapy program for recent immigrants and students at local elementary schools. In Florida, the Tampa Museum of Art is expanding both in-person and virtual offerings in connections, a community art engagement program geared toward people with depression, memory loss, and PTSD. In the country of Doha, a medical research centre has teamed up with the National Museum of Qatar to design an art therapy program to help alleviate depression and anxiety in children. Another New York museum has developed an online “care package” with an option to meditate amid chanting monks in a virtual version of its shrine room. The programmes are not the first time art has been used to heal individuals of traumatic experiences. Some have previously been influenced by social change, such as the Black Lives Matter movement, to help those in mourning and those dealing with mental turmoil. Art has long been used to help people heal from trauma, as a means to discuss the relationship between art and health. In 2017, the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts hired a full-time art therapist and permitted physicians to formally “prescribe” free access to their galleries, which drew in a lot of global attention. Art therapy originally arose in the 1940s and ’50s, as specialised exhibitions helped researchers in the mental health field study the brain’s response to art. Image credit: Shutterstock

Art

Old-time home remedies that actually work

Researchers have produced hundreds of studies in the past five years about the effectiveness of home remedies, but not all the old-time solutions really help. That’s why this list focuses on treatments with evidence to back them up. Remember that even natural cures can interact with medications. If you take pills regularly or have a chronic health condition, check with your doctor before trying these. Buttermilk for age spots You can skip the expensive skin creams. This rich by-product of butter contains lactic acid and ascorbic acid. One study showed that this combination lightened age spots more effectively than lactic acid alone. Apply to the spots with a cotton ball, then rinse with water after 20 minutes. Comfrey for back pain This medicinal plant has been used for centuries to treat joint and muscle pain. A study of 215 patients found that applying concentrated comfrey cream to the lower and upper back reduced muscle pain. You can buy it in health food stores and online. Aloe for burns “Aloe is a very soothing remedy for burns,” says dermatologist, Dr Purvisha Patel. One study demonstrated it was more effective than other treatments for second-degree burns. Make sure you use pure aloe, not a scented version. If you own an aloe plant, simply cut open a leaf and apply the liquid directly to the affected area. For serious burns, you should still see a doctor. Ground flaxseed for constipation “It’s almost as if nature tailor-made ground flaxseed to relieve constipation,” says gastroenterologist Dr Will Bulsiewicz. “It is a great source of both insoluble and soluble fibre, which add bulk to the stool and promote the growth of good bacteria.” Ground flaxseed is an excellent source of plant-based omega-3 fatty acids, which are known to help soften stool and relieve constipation. Aim for two to three tablespoons a day as part of a fibre-rich diet. Thyme tea for coughs Thyme is a natural expectorant that relaxes the respiratory tract and loosens mucus. Studies have found that using thyme in combination with primrose or ivy relieves the frequency and duration of coughs. To make thyme tea, place two tablespoons of fresh thyme (or one tablespoon dried) in a cup of hot water. Allow it to steep, then drain out the herb. Add honey to taste. Blackberry tea for diarrhoea Blackberries are rich in tannins, substances that can tighten mucous membranes in the intestinal tract. They have long been used as a treatment for diarrhoea. Make blackberry tea by boiling one or two tablespoons of fresh or frozen blackberries or dried blackberry leaves in one and a half cups of water for 10 minutes, then strain. Drink several cups a day. You can also buy blackberry tea, but make sure that it contains blackberry leaves and not just flavouring. Lavender oil for foot odour Lavender essential oil not only smells good but also has antibacterial properties that help kill germs. Before bed, rub a few drops of oil onto your feet and massage it in. Pull on a pair of socks to protect your sheets. Globe artichoke extract for GORD and heartburn Compounds in artichoke leaves called caffeoylquinic acids stimulate the release of bile from the gallbladder, which helps relieve nausea, gas, bloating, and other symptoms of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GORD) and heartburn. Since the leaves are mostly inedible, look for artichoke extract capsules in health food stores or online. Cherries for gout People who ate about 20 cherries every day were less likely to experience flare-ups of gout, according to a study of 633 patients with the condition. Cherries contain compounds that help neutralise uric acid. Peppermint oil for headaches Peppermint essential oil cools the skin, numbing the pain of a tension headache as well as acetaminophen does, according to two small studies. Mix a few drops with olive oil to prevent skin irritation, then gently massage onto your forehead and temples. Sugar for hiccups A spoonful of sugar doesn’t just help the medicine go down – when it comes to hiccups (contractions of the diaphragm), it is the medicine. “Eating the grainy sugar crystals forces you to swallow harder than normal, and this resets your diaphragm” to stop the spasms, says nutritionist, Claire Martin. Fennel for indigestion Those tiny seeds that you often see in bowls at Indian restaurants are fennel. They contain carminative agents, which help expel gas from the intestinal tract. Chew a pinch of fennel to help prevent after-dinner belching. Valerian for insomnia Valerian, an herb, helps people fall asleep faster without the ‘hangover’ effect of some sleeping pills. It binds to the same receptors in the brain that tranquilisers such as Valium do. Take one half to one teaspoon of valerian tincture or two valerian root capsules 30 minutes before bed. Lemon juice for kidney stones The most common type of kidney stone occurs when oxalate – a compound found in foods such as spinach, bran, and French fries – builds up in urine and ‘sticks’ to calcium, forming crystals. Drinking at least 120ml of lemon juice per day could help, researchers say, as citric acid can prevent the crystallisation of calcium and oxalate that creates these stones. Avocado for razor burn Avocado is rich with vitamins and oils that soften and hydrate skin to relieve the tenderness of razor burn. Apply mashed fruit or avocado oil directly to the irritated skin. Clove oil for tooth and gum pain “Oil of cloves can sometimes soothe an inflamed tooth,” says dentist, Dr Saul Pressner. Clove oil has bacteria-slaying properties and also a numbing effect. Mix a few drops with olive oil to avoid irritation, then swish it in your mouth. Cranberry juice for urinary tract infections A study of 373 women with a history of urinary tract infections (UTIs) showed that those who drank a glass of cranberry juice daily had a 40 per cent reduction in the number of UTIs compared with those who drank a placebo. While other studies have been mixed about the effect of cranberry juice on UTIs, scientists think a compound in cranberry juice can prevent bacteria from sticking to the walls of the urinary tract. Cod liver oil for vision problems This oil is a rich source of omega-3 fats, which increase blood flow to the eyes and decrease the risk of developing glaucoma and possibly macular degeneration. Take one teaspoon daily. Duct tape for warts Although doctors aren’t sure why it works, one study found that putting duct tape on warts and replacing it every six days was 25 per cent more effective than freezing them – and much cheaper. Honey for wounds Since ancient Egyptian times, people have used honey as a salve for wounds. Pure honey contains the enzyme glucose oxidase, which causes a chemical reaction that releases hydrogen peroxide, an antiseptic. Honeys range widely in their antibacterial potency, however. For best results, scientists recommend manuka honey, from New Zealand, which contains an additional compound that increases its effectiveness. Apply honey directly to a wound every 12 to 24 hours and cover it with sterile gauze. Written by Jen McCaffery and Tina Donvito. This article was originally published on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/20-old-time-home-remedies-that-actually-work">Reader's Digest</a>.

Body

The state removal of Māori children from their families is a wound that won’t heal – but there is a way forward

Too many New Zealand children are born into a state of crisis, as two recent and damning reports have shown. The <a href="https://whanauora.nz/assets/6f126cc001/ORANGA-TAMARIKI-REVIEW-REPORT.pdf">Māori Inquiry into Oranga Tamariki</a> (Ministry for Children) was one of five inquiries launched after a media <a href="https://www.newsroom.co.nz/investigations/2019/06/11/629363/nzs-own-taken-generation">investigation</a> into the attempted “uplift” of a newborn baby from its mother at a maternity ward in May 2019. The inquiry report stated: The event … not only sparked national outrage from Māori, but disclosed a controversial and decades old state policy and practice that has had devastating intergenerational impacts that have left our communities with deep emotional scars. Another <a href="https://www.occ.org.nz/assets/Uploads/TKTM-JUNE2020-Final.pdf">report</a> from the Office of the Children’s Commissioner details the experiences of Māori mothers of newborns involved with Oranga Tamariki. Children’s Commissioner Judge Andrew Becroft wrote: These personal stories … are a silent testimony to the long-term inequities that Māori have suffered under Aotearoa New Zealand’s care and protection system. Oranga Tamariki chief executive Grainne Moss <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12337954">hit back</a> by saying the children’s commissioner’s report was ignoring the interests of babies. Today Newsroom launches a harrowing new video story by investigations editor Melanie Reid into the attempted ‘uplift’ of a newborn baby from its mother by Oranga Tamariki. Full video available here: <a href="https://t.co/u66NY18Rw1">https://bit.ly/2XEIgNo </a> The current storm rages, in part, around the protection of children and their rights. With the <a href="https://www.abuseincare.org.nz/">Royal Commission of Inquiry into Historical Abuse in State Care</a> due to deliver its own interim report this year, we need to ask: what are those rights, and might a better understanding of them provide a way out of this impasse? Children’s rights are linked to parents’ rights Part of the answer can be found in the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">UN Convention on the Rights of the Child 1989</a>. Aotearoa-New Zealand accepted this treaty in 1993 and it informs the work of the <a href="http://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2003/0121/latest/DLM230435.html">children’s commissioner</a>. For tamariki Māori, the convention is important because it was the first global human rights treaty to refer to the rights of indigenous children. Perhaps controversially, the convention <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">requires</a> states to respect parents’ rights and responsibilities – and, where relevant, the extended family or community. This counters a common criticism that by focusing on children’s rights we diminish the rights of parents and families. As far as possible, children have the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">right</a> to know and be cared for by their parents. It is parents who have the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">primary responsibility</a> for the upbringing and development of their children. The convention also <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">states</a> that the family is “the fundamental group of society” and the child <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">should grow up in a family environment</a>. Cultural values are <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">important</a> for “the protection and harmonious development of the child”. Most importantly in the current debate, the convention provides clear guidance on the removal of children from their families: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">involuntary separation</a> is to be avoided, unless it is in the child’s best interests</li> <li>states must protect the child from <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">all forms of violence, abuse or neglect</a></li> <li>where children must be placed into care, the child’s <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">ethnic and cultural background</a> must be considered</li> <li>as indigenous children, tamariki Māori themselves must have access to <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">culturally appropriate services</a>.</li> </ul> Each of these considerations is subject to <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">four guiding principles</a>: <ul> <li>the convention <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">prohibits discrimination</a> of any kind, a provision that is <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">particularly</a> important in the current debate</li> <li>the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">best interests of the child</a> should govern all decisions relating to children – for indigenous children, this must take into account their <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">collective cultural rights</a></li> <li>the child has the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">right to life</a> and states must do all that they can to ensure the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">survival and development</a> of the child – for indigenous children, this means their <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">high mortality rates</a> must be addressed and culturally appropriate material assistance and support programs <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">provided</a> to parents and others</li> <li>the child has a <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">right to be heard</a> in all proceedings affecting them. They have an individual right to express their opinion, and children as a societal group must be heard. The state must design <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">special strategies</a> to ensure the voices of indigenous children are heard.</li> </ul> This report shares consistent and heart-breaking whānau experiences, supported by data and historical analysis, showing there are deep systemic issues facing the statutory care and protection system. Read the full report: <a href="https://t.co/jwPmgYHBYU">https://www.occ.org.nz/publications/reports/te-kuku-o-te-manawa/ …</a> The forcible removal of children is covered by the UN Alongside the children’s rights convention lies the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples 2007</a>, which Aotearoa-New Zealand endorsed in 2010. This specifically recognises the rights of indigenous families and communities to retain <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">shared responsibility</a> for the upbringing and well-being of their children. The exercise of that responsibility is to be consistent with the rights of the child. The declaration also prohibits the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">forcible removal</a> of children from one group to another. While this has tended to relate to historic state policies to remove indigenous children from their communities, it clearly resonates with recent events. The declaration also states that the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">economic and social conditions of children</a> must be improved. Notably, states must protect children from all forms of <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">violence and discrimination</a>. These considerations overlap with the declaration’s wider objectives, such as the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">right to self-determination</a>, the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">right to self-government</a> and the importance of <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">free, prior and informed consent</a> on matters that affect indigenous people. At the heart of these documents is a simple message: children have rights. The best interests of the child must inform any decision that affects those rights. And the decision must be made in an impartial and transparent manner. Future reports will inevitably catalogue further violations of children’s rights. Identifying these violations is one thing; strategies to ensure they do not happen again are another. The Convention on the Rights of the Child and the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples must play a central role. Written by Claire Breen. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-state-removal-of-maori-children-from-their-families-is-a-wound-that-wont-heal-but-there-is-a-way-forward-140243">The Conversation</a>.

Caring

How music can help heal your broken heart

Nothing hurts worse than a broken heart. That’s why, for some people, listening to that perfect break-up song that encapsulates your pain perfectly is as helpful as venting to friends or family. A <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0110490">2014 study</a> found that listening to sad music, including when experiencing love sickness or a breakup, can lead to emotional benefits. The authors wrote: "Music-evoked sadness … plays a role in wellbeing, by providing consolation as well as by regulating negative moods and emotions." Professor Bill Thompson from Macquarie University agrees. "Music is one of those comprehensive activities; we're thinking about movement, we're thinking about past memories, we're emotional, we have a lot of mind wandering and imaginative processes,” he told <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/life/how-music-can-help-us-heal-after-a-break-up/10671356">ABC Life</a>. "In simple terms, it helps us become more open-minded." Tasmanian artist and songwriter Claire Anne Taylor explained that she feels less isolated when experiencing heartbreak by listening to sad songs. "When I'm going through a rough patch and I hear the words that the artist is singing and they resonate with me, I personally feel like I'm not alone in my suffering," she says. Thompson agrees, but only to a certain point. You don’t want to listen to the sad songs so much that you start to ruminate on the memory of a person or sad situation. "Ruminating is something people can fall into easily. It's a comfort, because you're used to going over old ground, but it’s not an effective strategy for moving on," he says. "You're nursing the wound, thinking this is so awful, and there is comfort just going right inside that negative feeling." However, this can be fixed by changing the meaning that’s been attached to the sad event. For example, it might help to look at a breakup as a new beginning instead of an upsetting end. "Change the meaning that you have constructed out of the event … Build up your sense of identity and listen to music that has personal meaning and has been with you for a long time – that defines who you are."

Music

Coping methods to help heal from loss

Although the experience of losing someone is a factor everyone will have to face one day, or may have already, it doesn’t mean we can escape the feeling that comes along with this loss. Loss takes on various shapes and forms, whether it is a relationship that has ended, a loved one moving away, someone dying or a transition of some sort. When a feeling of loss comes, it can cause an individual to feel confused, alone and initiate a grieving process that is hard to pull yourself out of. It is important when moving forward from loss and growing from it that one approaches methods to bounce back and have awareness, experts claim. Here are a few general laws to follow when dealing with loss so you can bounce back and be a better, stronger version of you. Acknowledge and accept your feelings <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/type_d_personality">Research</a> shows many people who neglect their emotions in an unhealthy way tend to have more psychological and physiological problems. Emotions including anger, sadness, confusion, loneliness, fear and many others may come forward when you are hit with a loss. In moments like these it is important to find comfort and solace in support groups, friends, counsellors or ever a good book on the subject. Finding what works for you to help you deal with your emotions will allow you to heal and grow properly. Replace the negative feelings with positive ones Sit down and write a list of the good things that exist within your life and practice self-reflection. <a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/type_d_personality">Experts say</a> awareness of self is one of the best ways to learn more about yourself and grow accordingly. What are methods you can practice growing forward as an individual? Perhaps taking up activities such as yoga or reading self-help books could be the way you learn more about yourself and expand your mindset. Feel liberated and move forward When you lose something of value to you, whether that is a person, home, the feeling of comfort or a relationship, it can be important to understand and accept this loss. It is also important to modify your relationship with what you lose. Experts believe the way to do this is by forming a detachment towards what is causing the feeling of loss. Although this change may development may take time, you will know you are at a place to move forward when you are able to cherish the good moments and release the painful ones and cut the chord once and for all. How do you deal with loss? Let us know in the comments below.

Caring

Nigella Lawson: "How I healed after heartbreak"

Nigella Lawson has forged out a career as one of the world’s most popular celebrity chefs, but most people don’t realise that she’s encountered more than her fair share of heartbreak. In an <a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/" target="_blank">interview with Now to Love</a>, the celebrity chef explained how her culinary pursuits had helped her deal with the passing of her sister Thomasina, who died tragically young at 31 from breast cancer in 1993. "I like cooking with people who know me well and know my kitchen well," she explains. "I used to love cooking with my sister, Thomasina. I loved cooking for her and with her and just talking to her while I cooked." "I have a very good friend and we sometimes cook together. It's a lovely thing to do," she says. "I also think it's a wonderful way of talking with people generally. A lot of people are more comfortable talking when your attention is a bit elsewhere. "It's rather like the way people sometimes feel they have important conversations while they're driving. People are more relaxed when you haven't got full-beam on them. So I quite like chatting while I cook. The other person doesn't need to be cooking with me. Sometimes they can just be there, having a glass of wine while I'm chopping and stirring and unwinding. I like that." Nigella’s first husband, journalist John Diamond, was also taken by cancer before his time. "I don't want to waste life," she says. "It feels so ungrateful not to take pleasure. You have to take pleasure in life while you can because people have that ripped away from them." "One of the reasons I like cooking is that it forces me into the moment, and that's good," she adds. What are your thoughts?

Body

What is self-healing?

Barbara Binland is the pen name of a senior, Julie Grenness, in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is a poet, writer, and part-time English and Maths tutor, with over 40 years of experience. Her many books are available on Amazon and Kindle. Self-healing? What does this mean? Well, the human body does possess a great capacity to heal itself. Now we are over 60, we have more time for ourselves. We can devote some thought to focus on our body’s self-healing. This is such a beneficial practice, to maintain long life and good health. How does self-healing work? Basically, each human body consists of cells, which are always renewing, from the time we are born. Amazing. Our human bodies need essential elements to promote good cell renewal, as a prevention of disease and damage. These can be caused by inflammation, infection and extreme stress. Vitally, for self-healing, our bodies need adequate sleep and rest. It is a great idea to invest in a good bed, and aim for an undisturbed sleep pattern. When we are sleeping, our bodily cells are repairing and regenerating. In addition, a good night’s sleep maintains good physical, emotional and mental health. Another essential factor for self-healing is to aim for a healthy food intake. In the past, we may have consumed take-away food, or sugary, fatty foods. Now is the time to improve our bodies’ self-healing potential with good energy. A healthy, nutrient-rich diet is an important way of achieving this. We can reduce our intake of fat-laden processed foods, by eating more fresh fruit and vegetables, nuts, seeds, lean meats, and nourishing soups. All these can boost our vitality. Fresh is best! Importantly, for baby boomer self-healing, a regular, moderate exercise program is an ideal benefit. Not only does exercise promote restorative sleep, but it strengthens our bodies, enabling both circulation and heart health. Good for the waistline too! Exercise can consist of fun activities too, whatever you enjoy! What about reducing stress factors? One good tip is to think logically. In any situation, aim to decide what is your problem, what is ‘their’ problem, what you can do to make ‘them’ accountable for ‘their’ problems, and then it is not your problem. No problems. We can put ‘their’ problems from our minds, and move on to focus on our own lives, and not worry about things too much. This takes a bit of practice, but it is a very good habit of stress reduction. There is no need to be drama mamas. Now we are over 60, each of us is in control of our self-healing. If we can promote our own self-healing, we can feel much better, and reduce endless visits to the doctors and pharmacists. Self-healing – give it a go!

Mind

John Travolta opens up about how his family healed after son’s shock death

John Travolta recently opened up about his son Jett’s tragic death in 2009 at the age of only 16, revealing it was the birth of their youngest son, Benjamin, that helped keep the family together The 63-year-old Hollywood star spoke to Good Morning America about how a now six-year-old Benjamin, who was born in 2010, helped him and his wife of 26 years Kelly Preston, 54, through the loss of their child. "Certainly having little Benjamin has been a beautiful kind of glue for us to re-bond after a tremendous loss," John told Good Morning America. <img width="387" height="217" src="https://images-production.global.ssl.fastly.net/uploads/posts/image/114691/john-travolta.jpg?auto=compress&crop=faces,top&fit=crop&h=421&q=55&w=750" alt="John travolta" class="img-responsive" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/> Jett sadly died at age 16 after suffering a seizure during a Travolta family vacation to the Bahamas in January 2009. "I can’t imagine what life would be like without Jett," the Grease star told People in a 1994 interview. "After he was born and cleaned up, I held him for hours while Kelly slept. When they came to take him away for various tests, I said, 'No, you can’t see him today. You’ll have to do it another day.' I went a little nutsy." Following Jett’s passing, the Hollywood couple, who have a daughter Elle Bleu as well, surprised fans by confirming they were expecting their third child when Kelly was in her late 40s. "We had been trying for quite a few years, and then of course there was a time when we weren’t, and then we started trying again," the actress explained at the time. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was floored. I’d snuck out of bed and then came back and woke Johnny up in bed. We both started crying. It was wonderful." In February 2014, John said losing his eldest child was the "worst thing" that has ever happened to him. "The truth is, I didn't know if I was going to make it. Life was no longer interesting to me, so it took a lot to get me better. I will forever be grateful to Scientology for supporting me for two years solid, I mean Monday through Sunday,” he told BBC News. "They didn't take a day off, working through different angles of the techniques to get through grief and loss, and to make me feel that finally I could get through a day.”

Movies

Drug to boost bone healing

A new drug is being developed to help bones heal faster and better to help older people recover more quickly after suffering a fracture. Using bone samples from people undergoing hip replacement surgery, researchers from the University of Southampton were able to show that the drug causes stem cells found within bones to divide and turn into more bone cells. The drug is a protein that activates a molecular pathway called the 'Wnt' pathway which is involved in controlling the growth of stem cells, which help restore tissues after injury. Dr Nick Evans, associate professor in bioengineering, says the problem of bone fractures in society is getting worse with around 10 per cent taking over six months to heal, or never healing at all. The research is published in the journal Stem Cells. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank">Stuff.co.nz.</a>

Caring

NASA discovers a self-healing material

In a development that seems straight out of a Terminator movie, NASA has made an amazing new discovery. The space agency has found a material that has the ability of self-healing, able to heal itself after being shot with a bullet in as little as two seconds. The technology could be used in the future to create self-repairing space ships and military equipment, because of course that’s the next obvious step when you find a self-healing material. The material works like this: when the layers are punctured, oxygen mixes with elements in the material called tributylborane. The chemical reaction sequentially causes the puncture to solidify, healing itself. “Within seconds of coming into contact with the atmosphere, it goes from a liquid to a solid,” researchers told IFLScience.

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