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New perspectives on navigating grief for owners of companion animals

<p>The loss of a pet can be difficult, but the latest research suggests we can do better to help owners navigate their way through the grief process.</p> <p>For many, the pandemic resulted in more time spent in the company of pets while working from home and because of restrictions designed to limit the movement of people. In many cases, pets became key to maintaining a sense of normality, routine and motivation, not to mention <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/nature/dogs-sense-of-smell-detect-human-stress/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">providing company</a> during times of social and physical isolation.</p> <p>Strangely, though, as the research highlights, society has a bias towards supporting certain circumstances of grieving over others.</p> <p>According to the authors of the review, published in <em>Human</em>–<em>Animal Interactions</em>, some types of trauma such as the loss of a pet, <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/society/can-we-blame-the-famous-for-their-suicides/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">death by suicide</a>, a lost pregnancy or miscarriage and death from AIDS, can be stigmatic for the bereaved. These types of loss tend to be underacknowledged by others or given less attention or empathy.</p> <p>“When relationships are not valued by society, individuals are more likely to experience disenfranchised grief after a loss that cannot be resolved and may become complicated grief,” said Colleen Rolland, President and pet loss grief specialist for <a href="https://www.aplb.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement</a> (APLB).</p> <p>This stigma can interrupt the natural process of grieving, meaning that pet owners often ‘go it alone’, without social support when dealing with the loss of their companion animal.</p> <p>“The present review builds on research in the field of pet loss and human bereavement and factors in the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on human-animal attachment,” says Dr Michelle Crossley, an Assistant Professor at Rhode Island College in the US.</p> <p>“A goal of the present review is to provide counsellors with perspectives to consider in their practice when working with clients who have attachments to their companion animals. It also aims to acknowledge the therapeutic benefits of working through the grief process to resolution as a way to continue the bond with a deceased pet.”</p> <p>The review presents practical ways in which counsellors can help people grieving the loss of a pet through in-person and online approaches, such as group sessions and web-based chatrooms – “counselling interventions and coping strategies already being used in the therapeutic space,” notes Crossley.</p> <p>Practical activities such as providing safe spaces and materials to paint, draw or write about their anxieties and fears about loss are effective tools for helping children and adults navigate the grief process.</p> <p><em><a href="https://petsandpeople.com.au/about/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Pets and People</a>,</em> an online initiative founded by Dr Michael O’Donoghue and Penny Carroll, seeks to provide pet owners with resources and information across a whole host of issues associated with pet loss, including those discussing social stigmas. It also provides links to counsellors with experience in pet loss and lists Australian and New Zealand numbers for the Pet Loss Support Line which connects callers with counsellors.</p> <p><img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=226139&amp;title=New+perspectives+on+navigating+grief+for+owners+of+companion+animals" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></p> <div id="contributors"> <p><em><a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/australia/new-perspective-navigating-grief-pets/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This article</a> was originally published on Cosmos Magazine and was written by Clare Kenyon. Clare Kenyon is a science journalist for Cosmos. </em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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Readers Respond: What is the hardest thing about being a pet owner?

<p dir="ltr">Pets can bring us joy, company, and a kind of companionship that can make it hard to put into words just how much we care for them.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, our beloved feathered, scaly and fluffy friends can be hard to deal with sometimes - whether it’s chewing on shoes or bringing us unwanted ‘presents’ - though it can be just as hard to be strict with them when they misbehave.</p> <p dir="ltr">When we asked our readers what they thought the hardest thing was about keeping pets, many came back to the same answer.</p> <p dir="ltr">From deciding whether to laugh or cry at their antics to wishing you could love them for a little bit longer, here’s what you said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>MikeDot Berger</strong> - Having to say goodbye when they cross the rainbow bridge.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Lynda Borgonje</strong> - I can’t be angry or stay angry no matter what my fur baby did … One look in those beautiful brown eyes, I would just melt.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Rosy Bloom</strong> - They don’t live long enough</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Sue Packer</strong> - Going on holidays without them.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Julia Santos</strong> - When you want to spoil them with food they want but shouldn’t eat. It’s heartbreaking but necessary 🙁</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Toni Miller</strong> - Losing them. Still shed a tear occasionally for my beautiful old girl. Held her in my arms while she crossed over.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Jan Blackhurst </strong>- Deciding whether to laugh or cry at some of their antics. And then the final goodbye.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Sue Dodd</strong> - Loving them for such a short period</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Richard Taylor</strong> - Trying to be stern with them when they have misbehaved while on the inside you are laughing your guts out.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Karen Bowman</strong> - There is nothing hard at all. Even when they are sick, it’s such a privilege to have them in our lives. Saying goodbye is very hard but it’s all the memories you have that help you to do that and the love you have for your pet forever. </p> <p dir="ltr">To read what else you said, head <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtyNZ/posts/pfbid02QJP1hmxEmVX13A3VzREY8T8M93YJJvYzbZa95vhBnWKYDra8fbvt3cQar4om7MGal" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-53d68dd6-7fff-72ae-eec2-f3765d27ad5c"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Guide to companion planting

<p>Some plants appear to have a direct effect on others growing near them. In some cases, the effect is beneficial, while in others it is detrimental.</p> <p>Roses, for example, seem to be more sweetly scented and less prone to disease when surrounded by garlic, and less troubled by aphids when lavender is grown underneath them.</p> <p>But beans do not seem to do well when grown near onions.</p> <p><strong>Mixed planting benefits</strong></p> <p>Plants of different species, when grown together, compete less with each other than those of the same species, and make it more difficult for pests and diseases to spread. For example, planting potatoes and broad beans together can increase the yields from both crops.<br />Flowers that attract pollinating insects can increase the yields from some other crops. Sweet peas and runner beans work as good companions in this way, and also look very attractive scrambling up bean poles together in flower and vegetable gardens.<br />Other winning combinations include:</p> <ul> <li>tomatoes and cabbage</li> <li>cucumbers and nasturtiums</li> <li>rosemary and sage</li> <li>French marigolds and pretty much everything</li> <li>Weed beaters</li> </ul> <p>Few weeds grow in pine woods because secretions from the trees prevent them from germinating. A mulch of pine needles on the strawberry bed will suppress weeds and may also improve the fruits’ flavour.</p> <p>Rhododendron leaves produce secretions that prevent seeds in the soil nearby from germinating, and the leaves of dandelions appear to have the same effect.</p> <p><strong>Space savers</strong></p> <p>Make good use of space in the vegetable garden by planting shallow-rooting vegetables alongside deep-rooting ones. Carrots and radishes do well together and occupy less space when planted side by side than when planted in separate rows.</p> <p><strong>Disease resistance</strong></p> <p>Some plants can increase the ability of others to resist disease:</p> <ul> <li>Chamomile is beneficial to the health and fragrance of certain plants</li> <li>Foxgloves and golden feverfew (Tanacetum parthenium ‘Aureum’) are helpful to plants nearby</li> <li>Summer savoury benefits beans</li> <li>Onions can prevent mould on strawberries </li> </ul> <p><em>Republished with permission of </em><a href="http://www.handyman.net.au/guide-companion-planting"><em>Handyman Australia</em></a><em>.</em></p>

Home & Garden

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Is it really possible to find friends and love online?

<p>Social interaction is a crucial component of our human psyche. We need other people to share experiences with, to discuss what is going on in our lives and in the world around us. Travel buddies, sports mates and close friends are a necessary part of our lives. Looking for new people and experiences to spice up your life?</p> <p><strong>Don’t count the days. Make the days count.<br /></strong>One of the best ways to meet like-minded people is to engage in social groups and activities. Join sports clubs, gaming groups, participate in a new class, or take up a hobby which will allow you to meet people with similar interests. Whether it is a language class, dancing lessons or a chess group, there is a never-ending array of opportunities for you to activate your brain and body, instil meaning into your daily life and meet people in your area with similar tastes and opinions. What’s not to love about that?</p> <p><strong>Why?</strong> Online forums and websites allow you to sift through multitudes of people to fairy quickly find individuals that fit your specific criteria. Here are four of the latest and most popular online resources that might help you meet your next partner, travel companion or activity buddy. Let us know what happens!</p> <p><strong><a href="http://www.stitch.net/">Stitch</a></strong></p> <p><strong>Aim:</strong> To help mature adults find companionship<br /><strong>Use it if:</strong> You want to try a new and all-inclusive way of meeting like-minded people<br /><strong>Cost:</strong> Free starter plan, range of costs depending on your level of interaction (up to $29 a month for gold membership).</p> <p>Stitch helps you to find a companion for every aspect of your life, whether you are looking for someone for travel, events and activities, love and romance or friendship. Australian entrepreneur, Andrew Dowling, created Stitch to help over 50s combat social isolation and find companions for friendship or love.</p> <p>“When you’re younger, you have opportunities (to meet people) like going to uni, having kids, then when you get to a certain age your friends start to move away, you retire, you get divorced,” says Dowling. </p> <p>After launching Stitch in San Francisco in 2015, it grew to more than 3000 members in the first six months. This rapid success, combined with constant interest from his home country, meant that he knew it was time to bring the site to Australia. The site has launched in Sydney and now people from all over Australia can sign up.</p> <p>Robin Miller from Sydney’s North Shore is a single mother who says she finds the prospect of meeting people ‘daunting’. She wants to connect with people who have similar hobbies and travel interests, yet she has found that dating sites want too much information. “One of the things about Stitch that I like is it’s aimed at older people,” she says. Then adds, the process is comfortable. “It’s not rushed, quite secure and I’m not competing with people half my age.” She says that Stitch’s group events take away the anxiety of one-on-ones and are based around an activity, so you already know you have a common interest. </p> <p><a href="http://www.stitch.net/">Stitch</a> prides itself on its steadfast commitment to safety, guaranteeing users that no scammers or con-artists will be able to infiltrate the site. </p> <p><strong><a href="http://www.elitesingles.com.au/">Elite Singles</a></strong></p> <p><strong>Aim:</strong> To help you find ‘the one', not just anyone<br /><strong>Use it if:</strong> You are looking for a serious relationship<br /><strong>Cost:</strong> Free and premium service (from $22.95 per month)</p> <p>Elite Singles caters to those who are serious about finding a someone special and genuine. They say they utilise a smart profiling system to assess members based on their personal characteristic and partner criteria to guarantee more compatible matches. Their aim is to match members with singles that suit each other’s values, interests and lifestyle, thus abiding by their mantra of 'quality over quantity'. The site caters to people from all walks of life, including options for professional dating, single-parent dating, over-50 dating, gay dating or Christian dating.</p> <p>Elite Single’s staff say they manually check every user to ensure that every account is legitimate and safe. However, still please be aware that you must always be careful when meeting new people regardless of the circumstances. The site gets 18,000 new members every week and has a presence all over Australia and the rest of the world, with a global reputation for pairing compatible 'elites'.</p> <p><strong><a href="http://www.seniorsholidaytravel.com.au/">Seniors Holiday Travel</a></strong></p> <p><strong>Aim:</strong> To provide a free travel club with no minimum age requirement<br /><strong>Use it if:</strong> You want to explore the world with like-minded travellers<br /><strong>Cost:</strong> Free</p> <p>Often one of the greatest barriers to travel is finding a travel buddy to accompany you. Although solo travel is often a cathartic and enlightening experience, sometimes it is fun to experience the journey with a friend.</p> <p>Seniors Holiday Travel is a club for older travellers covering every aspect of trips. They provide travel agents with your specific needs in mind, a suite of deals, tips and promotions as well as a means for you to meet other like-minded travellers.</p> <p>The site has a 'solo traveller club' with a co-ordinator who organises regular meetings and outings that allow club members to meet other travellers and find a suitable companion. If you have a destination in mind and are looking for someone with whom you can share the experience, simply notify the co-ordinator of your intended destination and they can match you up with another - or a few other - solo travellers.</p> <p><strong><a href="http://www.companions.com.au/">Companions</a></strong></p> <p><strong>Aim:</strong> Make friends, share interests, and meet new local people<br /><strong>Use it if:</strong> You want to find a new friend<br /><strong>Cost:</strong> Free</p> <p>Whether you are in search of a tennis opponent, a confidante for your morning coffees, a fellow movie buff to take to the cinema or a like-minded person to discuss news and politics with, Companions will help you find a suitable compadre. </p> <p><a href="http://www.companions.com.au/">Companions</a> allows you to identify your interests, which can be as diverse as ‘Tarantino movies’, ‘intelligent conversation’, ‘ballroom dancing’ or anything in between. Joining is free and only takes a couple of minutes, plus members can search profiles, message, chat and discuss topics on forums at no extra cost.</p> <p>Meeting truly compatible people often takes a lot of chance and circumstance, even if you have similar interests and live in close proximity. So why not take a chance to be proactive and make new friends with similar interests today?</p> <p>What have your experiences been connecting with other people online? Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><em>Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/is-it-really-possible-to-find-friends-and-love-online.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a> </em></p>

Caring

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Barking dog leads cops to trapped canine companion

<p>It was like a scene straight out of an episode of <em>Lassie.</em></p> <p>Police from western Massachusetts in the US say a barking dog approached an officer on Tuesday. The agitated dog then led the officers across a field and down an icy, 10-metre embankment where, much to the astonishment of the cops, they found another dog entangled in the undergrowth.</p> <p><img width="427" height="321" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/13823/dog-rescue_427x321.jpg" alt="Dog Rescue" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p>Firefighters were called and freed the trapped dog, which was taken to a veterinarian to be checked.</p> <p>The two dogs has run off hour earlier when their owner had suffered a medical emergency and had to be taken to the hospital.</p> <p>Police has tried to catch the dogs, but they kept running away.</p> <p>Orange police said on their Facebook page: "Apparently, any dog in the right circumstances can turn into Lassie.” </p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/09/dogs-make-the-best-companions/">8 reasons why dogs are the bee’s knees</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/08/signs-your-pet-is-sick/">10 signs your pet is sick</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2015/11/cats-are-like-psychopaths-gallery/">11 ways cats are like “psychopaths”</a></em></strong></span></p>

News

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Great infographic explains companion planting

<p>For all the green thumbs out there, if you haven’t heard about companion planting then you’ll want to get on board. As we mentioned in our <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/01/companion-planting/" target="_blank">previous article on why you should be companion planting in your garden</a></strong></span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">,</span>  companion planting is about growing plants together that “enjoy” each other’s company and are mutually beneficial to their health. This handy infographic shows you exactly what plants you should group together and what plants you should never pair together for a healthy and bountiful garden.</p> <p><img width="500" height="3200" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/13427/companion-planting-infographic_500x3200.jpg" alt="Companion Planting Infographic (1)"/></p> <p>First appeared on TipsPlants.com. Visit their website <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://tipsplants.com/" target="_blank">here</a>. </strong></span></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/diy-christmas-decorating-ideas/">13 easy-peasy Christmas decorating ideas</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/diy-christmas-decorating-ideas/">More great vintage household tricks from the 1900s</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/vacuum-cleaning-tricks/">Vacuum cleaning tricks you’ll want to know about</a></em></strong></span></p>

Home & Garden