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1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to ‘properly raise’ kids. But attitudes are changing

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417">Divna Haslam</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> “Do you want a smack?!” This has been a common refrain from many parents across history. Right along with “just wait till your father gets home”. Somehow parents thought this threat of violence would magically improve their child’s behaviour. The United Nations <a href="https://www.right-to-education.org/sites/right-to-education.org/files/resource-attachments/CRC_1989.pdf">Convention on the Rights of the Child</a> considers smacking and all types of physical punishment, however mild, a violation of child rights. It’s banned in <a href="https://endcorporalpunishment.org/countdown/">65 countries</a>. Yet it remains <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/physical-punishment-legislation#:%7E:text=Physical%20punishment%20by%20a%20parent%20towards%20a%20child%20remains%20lawful,'">legal</a> in Australia for parents to use “reasonable force” for discipline. Children are the only group of people it remains legal to hit. Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">new research</a> found one in four Australians still think physical punishment is necessary to “properly raise” children. And half of parents (across all age groups) reported smacking their children. But attitudes are slowly changing, with newer generations of parents less likely to smack their kids than previous ones. <h2>What is physical punishment?</h2> <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1njkrb">Physical</a> or “corporal” punishment is the use of physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to discipline a child for misbehaviour. It’s distinct from physical abuse which is more extreme and not used to correct behaviour. Physical punishment is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajs4.276#:%7E:text=Corporal%20punishment%20(CP)%20is%20the,and%20Christian%20missionaries%20during%20colonisation.">the most common type</a> of violence against children. It usually involves smacking, but also includes things like pinching, slapping, or using an implement such as wooden spoon, cane or belt. Smacking doesn’t actually work and makes behaviour <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797617729816?casa_token=YHpEf1m4GiwAAAAA%3A8VRH5_z9fufHJiFGpWVYAk0kuTZCCRB-zneATDatqfLomERAhcyyIES30hMPdIIQ-E-IHOTekiC0Zg&journalCode=pssa">worse over time</a>. And it’s <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000191">associated with</a> children internalising problems, increased child aggression, poor parent-child relationships, poorer metal heath and more. In contrast, there are a lot of non-violent parenting strategies that <a href="https://theconversation.com/research-shows-its-harmful-to-smack-your-child-so-what-should-parents-do-instead-186739">do work</a>. <h2>Assessing the state of smacking in Australia</h2> We conducted the first <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">study</a> to comprehensively assess the state of smacking and physical punishment in Australia. We wanted to determine if smacking was still common and how many Australians believed we need to smack our kids. We interviewed more than 8,500 Australians aged 16 to 65 years. Our sample was representative of the national population so we can be confident the findings represent the thoughts and experiences of Australians as a nation. Using such a large age range allowed us to compare people across different age groups to determine if changes are occurring. <h2>What we found</h2> Overall, six in ten (62.5%) Australians between 16–65 years had experienced four or more instances of smacking or physical punishment in childhood. Men were slightly more likely to be physically punished than women (66.3% v 59.1%). Young people, aged 16–24, reported slightly lower rates (58.4%) than older people suggesting a slight decline over time. But these rates remain unacceptably high. Overall, one in two (53.7%) Australian parents reported using some type of physical punishment, mostly about once a month. However, older parents reported on this retrospectively (what they did while raising children) and there were clear age differences: <ul> <li>64.2% of parents aged over 65 years had used physical punishment</li> <li>32.8% of parents 25–34 years had used it</li> <li>14.4% of parents under 24 had used it.</li> </ul> So younger generations of parents are substantially less likely to use physical punishment. <iframe id="3dcJw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/3dcJw/2/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> Concerningly, one-quarter (26.4%) of all Australians still believe physical punishment is necessary to properly raise children. But the vast majority (73.6%) do not. And generational change is occurring. Some 37.9% of Australians older than 65 believe physical punishment is necessary compared to 22.9% of those aged 35–44 years, and only 14.8% of people under age 24. <iframe id="NT51y" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/NT51y/3/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> Socioeconomically disadvantaged people are 2.3 times more likely to believe physical punishment is necessary than those with no disadvantage. Parents who had been physically disciplined when they were children were both more likely to believe it is needed and more likely to use it with their own children. This indicates this form of violence is transmitted across generations. <h2>Time for change</h2> Law reform works best when changes in community attitudes and behaviours are already occurring. So it’s encouraging that younger people are much less likely to believe physical punishment is necessary and are much less likely to use it. This suggests Australians may be open to prohibiting this common form of violence. All states and territories should immediately enact legal reform to prohibit corporal punishment and protect the rights of Australian children. This should be paired with public health and education campaigns about what parents can do instead. If you are a parent looking for effective non-violent parenting strategies the <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-greg-hunt-mp/media/406-million-to-support-the-mental-health-and-wellbeing-of-aussie-kids">government</a> has also made the <a href="https://www.triplep-parenting.net.au/qld-en/free-parenting-courses/triple-p-online-under-12/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAgqGrBhDtARIsAM5s0_mmMmbY3khwvp306pGOijqntKzYh6dDI5lQYszLgl6_BOGnuk8HMeEaAn_vEALw_wcB">Triple P Positive Parenting Program</a> available for free. This online program provides practical strategies parents can use to encourage positive behaviour and calm, alternative discipline techniques that can be used to instead of smacking. A number of other evidence-based programs, such as <a href="https://tuningintokids.org.au/">Tuning Into Kids</a>, Parents Under Pressure and <a href="https://www.pcit.org/pcit-in-australia.html">Parent Child Interaction Therapy</a>, are also available. Australia has an opportunity to capitalise on naturally occurring societal changes. We can interrupt this cycle of violence and give more Australians a childhood free of violence. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218837/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417">Divna Haslam</a>, Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/1-in-4-adults-think-smacking-is-necessary-to-properly-raise-kids-but-attitudes-are-changing-218837">original article</a>.

Caring

5 financial lessons you should impart to your adult children

Ultimately, we want our kids to live long, happy, healthy lives. Financial security is central to achieving this dream. So it may be time to have a chat about matters of money and ensure they are well set up for a prosperous future! While there are many important things to instil in future generations, the five below are perhaps the most crucial current-day issues for your adult children to master. <ol> <li>Avoid BNPL</li> </ol> Buy now, pay later (BNPL) schemes have taken off in popularity in recent years, allowing shoppers to purchase and use goods straight away yet pay for them over time in instalments. Sound too good to be true? Indeed. Most schemes attach hefty penalties and interest for missed or late repayments – much the same as credit cards. The debt quickly balloons, and can become unsustainable. The best approach to instil in your children is to always live within their means. <ol start="2"> <li>Avoid sexually transmitted debt</li> </ol> Joint finances, loans, credit cards, utilities, subscriptions, vehicles, businesses, property… all of these and more are shared liabilities. Even if a partner is the one who racks up the debts, your child is equally responsible for repaying them. This is what I call sexually transmitted debt. It could be inadvertent (such as having a partner who, despite their best intentions, is simply bad with money); hidden (like gambling addiction), deliberate (financial abuse), lose their job, have an accident, get seriously unwell. Either way, sexually transmitted debts can create long-term and even life-long problems, regardless of whether the relationship that created those debts survives: repayment struggles, credit constraints, bankruptcy, legal woes. When it comes to money, your children (and yourself) need to think with their head, not their heart. <ol start="3"> <li>Start investing </li> </ol> The number one thing financial advisers hear most is “I wish I started years ago”. Investments typically grow over time. The more time you allow, the bigger their value. Younger adults have big demands on their hip pocket. However, even starting with small investments allows compound growth to work its magic. Plus, given the housing affordability constraints facing younger generations, investments that can be sold or leveraged could better help them onto the housing ladder in future. Superannuation is another investment to pay attention to from a young age: managing investments, ensuring they are in a cost-effective fund, and avoiding mistakes – like consolidating funds without getting advice, which can inadvertently see them consolidate into a poorer performing fund or cancel attached insurances that had preferential terms. <ol start="4"> <li>Get a will</li> </ol> While young people may feel invincible, untimely deaths or disablement claims sadly can and do happen. And often unexpectedly: land transport accidents and accidental poisoning, together with suicide, make up <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-deaths/deaths-in-australia/contents/leading-causes-of-death">the biggest causes of death for under 44s</a> in Australia. Not having a will and a nominated executor complicates matters for grieving family and can delay all-important access to finances. How would your child’s partner and kids (if they have them) survive if their super, insurances and other payouts are delayed through probate? Remember to point out that superannuation (and other structures like companies and trusts) are treated separately from a will, and so need beneficiaries nominated within them. Younger people are also less likely to have discussed their final wishes with loved ones – funeral arrangements, burial vs cremation, organ donation, inheritances etc. This is where a separate statement of wishes can be useful. <ol start="5"> <li>Get insured</li> </ol> Insurances – save perhaps vehicle and house/contents – are rarely on the minds of younger people. But they should be. That is because many insurances are cheaper and offer better coverage when people are younger and free of any health complications. That includes private health, life and permanent disability, and income protection cover. Other insurances, like asset protection, can also be more lucrative to lock-in early. Just think about how the Ts and Cs on insurances have changed (become more restrictive) since you were their age! So encourage your adult children to scrutinise their insurance coverage. (And keep them away from drugs and smoking to stay healthier for longer!) Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Image credits: Getty Images

Money & Banking

"From child to adult": Unseen pics of Prince Christian mark his 18th birthday

Prince Christian of Denmark, the eldest son of Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary, marked his 18th birthday with a grand gala dinner that befits his future role as a potential monarch. Royals from various corners of the world gathered at Christiansborg Palace in Copenhagen for a magnificent celebration of this milestone event. At present, Prince Christian holds the position of second in line to the Danish throne. His grandmother, Queen Margrethe, currently reigns, and his father, Crown Prince Frederik, is the heir apparent. With this auspicious celebration, the Danish royal family and their esteemed guests paid tribute to the young prince who may someday ascend to the throne. (Plus, he now <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/princess-mary-s-son-gets-his-own-stamp-for-18th-birthday" target="_blank" rel="noopener">has his own stamp</a>!) The guest list for this momentous occasion included a stellar array of fellow future monarchs from across Europe. Princess Elisabeth of Belgium, aged 21, graced the gala with her presence. Alongside her were 19-year-old Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway, who attended with her parents, Crown Prince Haakon and Crown Princess Mette-Marit. Princess Estelle of Sweden, aged 11, was also among the esteemed guests, accompanied by her parents, Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel. Furthermore, Princess Catharina-Amalia of the Netherlands, the 19-year-old heir to the Dutch throne, added her royal grace to the event. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CybkX1KNjGa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CybkX1KNjGa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by DET DANSKE KONGEHUS 🇩🇰 (@detdanskekongehus)</a> </div> </blockquote> As Prince Christian stepped into adulthood, his proud parents, Crown Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, took a nostalgic look back at their son's journey through life. In a touching post shared on the official Danish royal family Instagram account, an album was published with the caption, "From child to adult. Seen from the parents' camera roll." This digital scrapbook offered a glimpse into the life of the Danish prince, capturing poignant moments that tell the story of his growth and development. The first image in the album featured a precious baby picture, showcasing three generations of the Danish Crown. It served as a testament to the continuity of a rich royal heritage. The subsequent photos depicted the family exploring their native Denmark, emphasising the connection between the Danish royals and their beloved country. The final image showed a mature and poised Prince Christian, symbolising his transition into adulthood and a potential future as a Danish monarch. As Prince Christian's 18th birthday celebration came to a close, it was evident that the royal family and their guests were not only celebrating a birthday but also the promising future of a young prince destined to play a significant role in Denmark's rich history. The gala dinner was not only a magnificent event but a symbol of unity among European royal families, demonstrating the strength of their bonds, both personal and regal. Images: Instagram

Family & Pets

1 in 6 older adults fall victim to impersonation scams

More older adults are likely to fall victim to scams than are currently recognised according to new US research. The problems are global. <div class="copy"> A research team from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, US, says older Americans who aren’t cognitively impeded, are also at risk. In their study <a href="https://10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2023.35319" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> today in JAMA Network Open, the group reports on a behavioural experiment where they targeted 644 adults aged 64-104 in Rush’s Memory and Aging Project – a local scheme that draws on participants from metropolitan Chicago to participate in research – with a pitch mimicking a real-world impersonation scam. The study’s fictitious ‘US Retirement Protection Task Force’ pitched itself to participants as a government social security initiative. This USRPTF told participants via either post, email or a telephone call there’d been irregular activity on their Medicare or social security file and the inquiry was a routine account security check. As part of this, the fake agency asked participants to call a telephone hotline or login to a provided website to provide their details. Over two-thirds of the study failed to respond to any attempts to obtain information by the phoney scheme. The remainder were evenly split by either responding to requests for contact, but expressing scepticism at the authenticity of the USRPTF, or by responding and engaging with the request for information. Those who were engaged with the request for information, but expressed doubts, were also those with the highest cognitive performance, and lowest proportion of dementia. They were also the most financially literate participants, while those who provided their details had the lowest literacy. Those who provided details were also found to have the lowest scam awareness of all participants. Among this group, 1 in 10 willingly provided personal information and 1 in 5 provided details of their social security number. “If extrapolated to a population level, these numbers are astounding and suggest that a very large number of older adults are at risk of victimisation,” the authors say. They also note that, given the use of a fictitious US government organisation name, the number of people vulnerable to well-organised scams is likely much higher. Last year, the US National Council on Aging reported 92,371 older Americans were defrauded of a total of US$1.7 billion. Most were victims of government department impersonation, sweepstakes and robocall scams. Often such scams will simply demand payment while ‘spoofing’ the phone number of a government agency to add the veil of legitimacy. It’s a similar story around the world. This year, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found Australians lost a record $3.1 billion last year, mostly via phone scams. Australians over 65 years of age accounted for a quarter of losses and reports. The UK’s Action Fraud initiative found Britons lost about ₤2.35 billion in the 2020/21 financial year, with those aged 50-69 most susceptible to falling victim. <div> Image credits: Getty Images <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/society/1-in-6-older-adults-fall-victim-to-impersonation-scams/">This article</a> was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a href="null">Cosmos</a>. </div> </div>

Legal

Teenagers who have positive relationships with their parents tend to have better outcomes as adults

Parenting teenagers can be challenging, but a new study shows that those efforts ultimately pay off. <div class="copy"> When teenagers report higher levels of “parental warmth”,” communication” and time spent together, they are more likely to experience significantly higher general health, optimism and romantic relationships in early adulthood. That’s according to a paper by US paediatricians and social workers <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2802677" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in JAMA Network. “The overall pattern of these results suggests strong relationships between adolescents and their mothers and fathers leads to better health and well-being in young adulthood,” <a href="https://www.chop.edu/news/chop-researchers-find-strong-adolescent-parent-relationships-lead-better-long-term-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">said the paper’s lead author</a>, Dr Carol Ford from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. “Efforts to strengthen parent-adolescent relationships may have important long-term health benefits.” Using data from the US National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health, the study followed a cohort of more than 15,000 adolescents aged 12-17 years in 1994-95 through to young adulthood (24-32 years) in 2008-09. The researchers found positive teen-parent relationships were also associated with lower levels of stress, depressive symptoms, nicotine dependence and substance abuse in young adults. The data was gathered by asking secondary-school-aged participants a series of detailed questions about their relationships with each parent, including topics such as warmth, communication, time together, academic expectations, discipline, relationship satisfaction. The aim of the study was to better understand the significance of parent-adolescent relationships for adult health. The study looked at the characteristics of mother-teenager and father-teenager relationships and tried to define what a “warm” relationship is, and what “communication” means. The researchers followed up with the participants once they reached adulthood, to ask about health, mental health, sexual behaviour, substance use and injury. “Adolescents’ perception of parental warmth had the most consistent favourable associations with adult outcomes across domains,” the researchers found. <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=240457&title=Teenagers+who+have+positive+relationships+with+their+parents+tend+to+have+better+outcomes+as+adults" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></div> <div id="contributors"> This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/teenagers-positive-relationships-with-parents-benefits/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Petra Stock. Images: Getty </div>

Relationships

5 basic principles to follow when giving adult children money

The link between money and relationships is undeniable. Money issues can break couples apart, destroy relationships between siblings and cause tension between parents and adult children. Parents have an important role in ensuring their children are not only financially literate but are able to make sound financial decisions and act responsibly with their money. There is big difference between financial literacy and financial capability. This means parents have a continuing role to guide their children past childhood so they not only understand money concepts but know how to put them into practice as they face major decisions and events in their adult life. However, different attitudes towards money and expectations about parental responsibilities can cause serious issues for both parents and adult children. To what extent should parents interfere with or criticise their children's financial decisions and behaviour? Is it reasonable for adult children to expect financial assistance from their parents at times of need? At what point should parents expect their children to be self-sufficient? Every parent wants to see their children succeed but there are different philosophies about how best to help children get ahead in life. Some parents feel the best way to help their children is to give them a hand through gifts of money or interest-free loans. Others think it is only by children pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps that they will learn how to be successful. These deep philosophical differences can be problematic when one parent has a different view from the other and when children have expectations of parents which are not aligned with their parents' philosophy. Parents give money to their children because it makes them feel as though they are being better parents. It is good to give to others, especially your own family, but there are dangers involved. Giving too much or too often can lead to financial dependency, lack of responsibility, repeated poor financial behaviour, enablement of problem behaviours such as addictions or over-spending, delayed retirement or increased financial risk for parents, and resentment from siblings if one child is seen to be receiving more assistance than the others. There are some basic principles which will help decide how and when to support adult children: Decide how much you can afford to give Every financial decision has long-term consequences. The more you give to your children, the less you will have later on to pay off your mortgage or save for retirement. Make sure you are financially secure before helping others, or financial strife will simply transfer from them to you. Set clear expectations Have conversations with your children about what you are prepared to help them with and to what extent. If you are providing ongoing support, set a time limit for how long this will continue. Expect your children to make a contribution rather than giving them all of what they need. Act like a banker If your adult children went to the bank to borrow money they would need to fully disclose their assets, debts, income and expenses so the bank could decide whether to lend or not. You need to do the same. Make sure you understand why your children are in the situation they are in and what behaviours they need to change to avoid being in the same situation again. If you expect money to be repaid, you need to know how likely it is that this will happen. Get legal advice for large sums It may be necessary to have written loan agreements for large sums to avoid disputes later. If your adult child has a partner, you will need to consider what might happen to a loan or gift to your child in the event that the relationship ends as it may become relationship property. Consider your other children Be upfront with your other children about what help you are giving and why. Sibling rivalry is natural, and children can feel deeply hurt by being treated unequally unless they understand the reasons. Equality can be achieved in the long run by making adjustments to how your estate is divided, taking into account prior assistance. It is good to help your adult children but in many cases, teaching them how to make better financial choices is more beneficial than handing out money. Do you agree with this advice? Written by Liz Koh. Republished with permission of <a rel="noopener" href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank">Stuff.co.nz</a>.

Retirement Income

Puttin’ on the Ritz and improving well-being with older adults through virtual music theatre

Digital programming and virtual interactions, initially considered to be stop-gap measures during the first few waves of the pandemic, may now be an important part of supporting many people’s health and well-being — including the well-being of older adults. During the COVID-19 pandemic, group musical activities moved online, prompting a wave of <a href="https://ericwhitacre.com/the-virtual-choir">virtual choir</a> experiments and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rzZ2F18MwI">virtual orchestra</a> offerings. These and other online communities weren’t limited to students. A <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/45-28-0001/2021001/article/00027-eng.htm">Statistics Canada survey</a> found that more than half of Canadians between the ages of 64 and 74 increased their participation in online activities during the pandemic by connecting with family and friends through video conferencing, or accessing entertainment online. Virtual opportunities in the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0252956">performing arts are ripe with potential</a> for older adults to foster skills and creativity, and to improve well-being. <h2>Social connection</h2> <figure><figcaption> </figcaption>Going digital serves many purposes, the most important of which may be social connection. Since <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/23748834.2020.1788770">connecting with others</a> remains important for older adults, this can be achieved through, or in addition to, virtual leisure or entertainment opportunities.</figure> Our research has revealed that <a href="https://storage.googleapis.com/wzukusers/user-20563976/documents/598184972c66407e9334c5df1b37bb91/Renihan%2C%20Brook%2C%20Draisey-Collishaw.pdf">virtual music theatre — music theatre online — allows for a more accessible and a less exclusive way to engage with this art form</a> with many benefits for participants. <h2>Online performing arts</h2> The performing arts allow performers and audiences to feel, be creative in community, express themselves and communicate or play through song, movement or storytelling. Benefits associated with participation in the arts include <a href="https://apps.who.int/iris/handle/10665/329834">improved mood and well-being</a> and sense of <a href="https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/turn-to-the-arts-to-boost-self-esteem">belonging</a>. Research has also documented associations between seniors’ participation in the arts and improved <a href="https://doi.org/10.1159/000499402">mobility</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.archger.2018.02.012">vocal health</a>. Before the pandemic erupted, we had started leading a program, <a href="http://www.riseshinesing.ca/">Rise, Shine, Sing!</a>, that created opportunities for local citizens typically excluded from the creation of music theatre due to age, ability and access. The program was mostly attended by older adults, some with Parkinson’s Disease or other chronic conditions. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/59MTQnoi2hU?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>A trailer for the ‘Rise, Shine, Sing!’ program.</figcaption></figure> We held three weekly face-to-face sessions from the end of February 2020, until mid-March, and then moved the program online (via Zoom) for 12 sessions from April until June 2020. The program continues to be offered, with many participants indicating a preference to continue virtually. Somewhat to our surprise, when the program moved online, the fact that participants could only hear the facilitator and themselves singing was not a deterrent to participating. Participants enjoyed singing, dancing and creating characters using costumes and props based on cues and feedback from facilitators. <h2>Paradigm shift for music theatre</h2> Virtual music theatre presents a serious paradigm shift for the genre. Most of the time when people think of music theatre, they think of live bodies moving in perfect synchrony <a href="https://www.americantheatre.org/2022/02/04/what-can-be-said-with-and-about-broadway-dance/">to choreographed movement</a>, and voices singing in perfect harmony while performers are physically present together. Researchers have examined how group singing and movement fosters togetherness, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-020-00549-0">community</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01096">social bonding</a>. Music theatre has made strides to become more inclusive over the course of the 21st century. <a href="https://www.deafwest.org/">Los-Angeles based Deaf West Theatre</a>, for example, creates works of music theatre that can be experienced and performed by members of the Deaf and hearing communities. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/k08lV8GO43w?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>ASL version of ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno,’ from Disney’s ‘Encanto’ with Deaf West.</figcaption></figure> A multitude of new works, stagings and casting practices are highlighting and supporting the experiences of marginalized groups, by <a href="https://www.blackoperaalliance.org/">diversifying</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/arts9020069">queering</a> the field, for example. Such works offer resistance and new stories to an industry that has traditionally been ableist, white and ageist. But despite a healthy <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/beyond-broadway-9780190639525?cc=ca&lang=en&">community music theatre scene</a> in North America, most opportunities still leave out many people due to issues related to social anxiety, experience, mobility, family life and/or finances. <h2>Music theatre meets universal design</h2> We drew on the intersection of <a href="https://muse.jhu.edu/article/629960/pdf">music theatre performance</a> and <a href="https://www.cast.org/impact/universal-design-for-learning-udl">universal design for learning</a> to develop a model where success could look different from person to person. In terms of the movement, participants could synchronize with the facilitator and/or other members of the group. They were equally welcome and encouraged to customize or adapt their movements to suit their own needs and interests. We embraced dancing from both a seated and standing position, to explore different levels and to accommodate different mobility capabilities. Participants controlled how much they shared by deciding how visible they wanted to be on camera. <h2>Classics and newer numbers</h2> We drew on musical classics or standards from <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/Singin-in-the-Rain-film-1952">Singin’ in the Rain</a>, the Sound of Music, <a href="https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/stage/2022/08/23/joseph-and-the-amazing-technicolor-dreamcoat-coming-to-toronto-as-a-test-run-for-possible-broadway-revival.html">Joseph and The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat</a> — as well as newer numbers from Wicked and other popular songs. <figure class="align-left zoomable"><figcaption></figcaption></figure> We also <a href="http://www.riseshinesing.ca/glow.html">co-created our own songs</a> by combining our shared memories or inspirations through image, lyrics and movements to explore themes of joy and resilience in difficult times. While the program was led virtually, before sessions, leaders dropped off or mailed prop boxes to all participants. These were filled with costumes including small scarves and ribbons that could be used for choreography. <h2>Promise of virtual musical theatre</h2> Virtual music theatre has shown incredible promise, even in the short time we have been exploring it. Digital connections reframe being together at the same time and in the same space. This adds new unexpected dimensions to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1749-6632.2012.06530.x">making music in a group</a>. First, goals and expectations of uniformity are replaced with goals of individual empowerment and creative exploration. Second, participants remain committed to the community and group endeavour, but are also free to tailor and adapt the ways they engage with the material and with one another. If group members invite friends or family in other cities to participate virtually, as some in our group did, the virtual community also expands in meaningful ways. Finally, participants can also adjust their personal comfort by sharing as much or little of themselves with the group without feeling like they are letting the group down. <h2>Our hybrid future</h2> The pandemic catalyzed the need for virtual interaction. While we know that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/occmed/kqab041">Zoom fatigue</a> is pervasive, virtual opportunities for music theatre participation and creation offer a new paradigm of artistic experience. These opportunities also offer striking promise for bringing performers some of the <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00778">same benefits</a> as in-person music theatre experiences. In some cases, they also facilitate new access to music in community, and allow participants to engage with the art form and one another in ways that support personal agency and independence, while also maintaining social connection and interactivity. <a href="https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/6358131/George+Gershwin/I+Got+Rhythm">Who could ask for anything more</a>?<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/188690/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/julia-brook-1064153">Julia Brook</a>, Director and Associate Professor, DAN School of Drama and Music, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-ontario-1154">Queen's University, Ontario</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colleen-renihan-1044307">Colleen Renihan</a>, Associate Professor and Queen's National Scholar in Music Theatre and Opera, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-ontario-1154">Queen's University, Ontario</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/puttin-on-the-ritz-and-improving-well-being-with-older-adults-through-virtual-music-theatre-188690">original article</a>.

Music

How to empower older adults to become digital citizens in our tech-dependent world

Living in a technology dependent world means we all want to stay connected, regardless of age. And the COVID-19 pandemic was a major catalyst <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1016%2Fj.ijinfomgt.2020.102171">for increasing our technological dependence</a>. It became normal to do weekly online grocery shops, attend doctors’ appointments or work via Zoom and FaceTime family and friends. The reality is however, that not everyone is fortunate enough to have access to the technological devices or skills to operate in our online world — some of the most impacted by this are older adults. This <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s41256-020-00154-3">magnified the pandemic for them, especially in terms of isolation</a>. Older adults were left without the main resource that has been keeping many of us connected — technology. But that’s not all the pandemic has laid bare for older adults. A <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-aging-face-of-homelessness-in-north-american-cities-111702">large number of them are also either experiencing, or are vulnerable to homelessness</a>. Older adults have become one of the <a href="https://www.homelesshub.ca/resource/%E2%80%9Cno-home-no-place%E2%80%9D-addressing-complexity-homelessness-old-age-through-community-dialogue">groups most at-risk for housing insecurities during the pandemic</a>. And one of the <a href="https://www.homelesshub.ca/about-homelessness/education-training-employment/poverty">largest barriers to housing, is low socioeconomic status</a>. Our technological dependence has created new challenges for older adults, and helped solidify pre-existing ones, like navigating online platforms to secure housing. Older adults face housing barriers due to the lack of technological resources and education on how to use them; there is a clear need to empower them to be digital citizens. <h2>Finding housing in an internet-dependent world</h2> Overall, older adults are often excluded from using the internet because they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbaa098">lack devices and connectivity, or are inexperienced in using it</a>. So when it comes to finding housing, they’re often left behind. A decade ago, it was possible to walk through the streets, sift through newspapers, notice boards and discover apartments for rent, but this is increasingly uncommon. The platforms themselves — like Kijiji, PadMapper and Facebook Marketplace — are not made with older adults in mind; meaning <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0308518X19869678">the ability to navigate and access these resources makes it even more difficult for them to find housing</a>. On top of having to search through unfamiliar platforms, they’re also faced with finding an apartment on a limited budget. Imagine you don’t know housing websites exist. Or know how to navigate online ads. Or have a device to access the internet. You’re put at a serious disadvantage when it comes to accessing housing. In North America “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0308518X19869678">large portions of the rental housing market have moved online … more renters in urbanized areas found their current homes through a site like Craigslist than through any other information channel</a>.” Meaning the majority of rental properties are accessible through online platforms. Older adults who are not part of this digital world have limited opportunities to find housing. We don’t want to suggest that finding an apartment is impossible but, if you are an older adult lacking technological resources and digital literacy, it may feel overwhelming. <h2>Making technology more accessible</h2> How can we move forward in this digital world, when so many are being left behind? We should at least make technology accessible, so the choice is up to the user. When it comes to older adults, having the liberty to choose their involvement with technology can provide independence and autonomy. When the decision is theirs to make, their <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.05.092">quality of life tends to increase, especially regarding social isolation</a>. While <a href="https://www.ncoa.org/article/top-10-financial-scams-targeting-seniors">older adults are more vulnerable to phishing and scams</a> and may have trouble recognizing fake housing advertisements, <a href="https://helpagecanada.ca/seniors-can-connect/">having support</a> and <a href="https://youthteachingadults.ca/resources/">educational resources</a> can <a href="https://www.connectedcanadians.ca/">promote the adoption of a conscious and cautious attitude</a> online, promote the use of trusted websites and avoid disclosing personal information such as SIN and credit card information. This can actively enable older adults to feel more comfortable and confident online. We are a part of the <a href="https://www.sfu.ca/airp/news-events/in-the-news/spike-in-homelessness-among-aged-prompts-research-for-solutions-.html">Aging in the Right Place (AIRP) Project</a> which looks at the causes of homelessness for older adults in order to evaluate <a href="https://www.seniorsservicessociety.ca/">current promising practices in place, such as temporary housing that support older adults who are at risk of experiencing homelessness</a>. An integral part of this project is to not only be in close contact with the people working towards supporting this population, but also with older people experiencing homelessness themselves. In our preliminary client interviews of those living in the temporary housing, we’re often told how invaluable technology is when searching for stable housing. <h2>Technology can improve quality of life</h2> As a society we assume older adults are not interested in various technologies, <a href="https://slate.com/technology/2020/07/seniors-technology-illiteracy-misconception-pandemic.html">not because they’re resisting but because technologies that currently exist were simply not created with them in mind</a>. Failing to include older adults as technology users further perpetuates the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-39949-2_15">social, information and digital exclusion they experience</a>. This <a href="https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=425680">leaves very few opportunities for them to access education and awareness</a>. Opportunities that do exist to learn are often found in schools or at work — which are environments many older adults no longer frequent. Technology can improve the quality of life for older adults by providing ease, inclusion and comfort by making the essentials, like finding housing, more accessible. It’s time we <a href="https://helpagecanada.ca/seniors-can-connect/">draw on the resources</a> <a href="https://youthteachingadults.ca/resources/">and educational initiatives</a> <a href="https://www.connectedcanadians.ca/">in place and reach out to the ones who have been left behind</a>. Let’s empower older adults to be digital citizens. As digital citizens, they will have more opportunities to secure housing and tools to prevent homelessness. These supports will not only give them a sense of involvement in a technologically dependent world, but also provide a sense of belonging and inclusion in today’s society. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-empower-older-adults-to-become-digital-citizens-in-our-tech-dependent-world-167010" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Retirement Life

How to learn a new language as an adult

Learning a new language can be a tough challenge at any age, however it seems to be exceptionally difficult to get the hang of a foreign tongue as we age. This is because the human brain becomes less adept at soaking up new information straight away and takes a bit more processing and practice before it’s able to hit its stride. To help us on this path, teacher, Esteban Touma shares his insight on getting to grips with learning another language as an adult and make language learning a fun part of your routine… 1. Open your mind As humans age, unfortunately adults become a bit less adaptable than kids – and we don’t just mean physically! We’ve spent years developing a mind system that’s great at organising information. This makes us really effective at learning new things, except for languages. It’s hard to break with the rules of that system, and that’s exactly what you need to do, because you’re literally learning another system. This is why it can seem easier for kids to learn a new language. Children are open-minded and their cognitive function is wide open, meaning it’s less work for them to pick up new things. The good news is that learning a language isn’t really that hard if you’re open to opening your mind! But it does take dedication and motivation to achieve your goals. 2. It's about the connection Firstly, it’s important to remember that learning a language is not really about learning a language. What you’re actually learning is how to communicate in a new way with other human beings, so keeping that in mind throughout the language learning process can really help you achieve your goals. Try to connect with people you may know, or listen to podcasts and music in your target language, or read about the country’s history. Also remember that you have to be ready to share your own unique human experience with others in that language, so make sure what you’re learning is related to you. If I’m learning, say, Italian, I would never remember how to say “dove è la biblioteca?” or “where is the library?” but I will always remember how to say “Dov’è la pizza e il vino? Subito!”. Priorities. 3. Make it entertaining Watching TV shows in another language is an excellent way to get used to hearing a foreign tongue spoken in real-time. Anything that exposes you to the language is great, so I would recommend engaging with entertainment in the language learning, so long as you find it enjoyable. TV shows, films, podcasts and even video games are all great forms of entertainment for learning a new language. Not only will these forms of entertainment lend added cultural and regional insights, but they’ll help you have fun while doing it, which will help you see your goal through until the end. 4. Patience is key While you are learning, be patient with yourself. Learn to love your progress and celebrate your successes. Did you know the word ‘piano’ means ‘piano’, ‘slow’ and ‘quiet’ in Italian? Adding a single new word to your vocabulary can be so beautiful and rewarding. The road to fluency can be hard, but the view along the way is really amazing, so it’s OK if you are driving slow. This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/how-to-learn-a-new-language-as-an-adult" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest.</a> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; overflow-wrap: break-word; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px 0px 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 26px; color: #444444; background-color: #ffffff; font-family: Raleway, sans-serif, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial !important;">

Retirement Life

Adults only cruise coming to Australia and New Zealand

Sir Richard Branson’s award-winning cruise line is set to hit Australia and New Zealand’s shores in 2023. Resilient Lady hit the high seas in 2021 and is the newest ship in Virgin Voyages that is offering an “adults only” cruise. Aussies will be given the chance to sail the high seas from Athens to Sydney in a gorgeous 44-night trip. Included are also three itineraries: “Ancient Athens to Modern Dubai”, “Dubai Delights to Singapore Sights”, and “Singapore, Bali and Australia”. Resilient Lady will arrive at Station Pier in Port Melbourne, with sailors given the opportunity to experience the “exclusively adult voyages”. The journey will begin from Melbourne to Hobart and Burnie in Tasmania, along with Sydney. She’s also set her sights on New Zealand with itineraries that include ports of call in Picton, Napier, Tauranga, Auckland, Christchurch and Dunedin. Passengers will be able to enjoy a delicious chef-driven culinary delicacy at six signature restaurants and food from more than 14 other eateries. They can also get involved in HIIT exercise sessions and bungee classes to fuel the day, or dance the time away with jaw-dropping festival-like entertainment. Spend the day around the pool to achieve that sun-kissed look, and lose those luxurious hours at the mermaid hideaway that is Redemption Spa. “Australia and New Zealand are without question the most beautiful countries in the world, and we knew that these destinations, paired with the Virgin Voyages experience, will make it the most incredible holiday for our Sailors,” Fellow Australian and Virgin Voyages’ President and Chief Experience Officer, Nirmal Saverimuttu said. “The Virgin brand is known and adored by Australians and New Zealanders, and we are committed to delivering a holiday experience you will love and memories that will last a lifetime.” Virgin Group Founder Sir Richard Branson described it as an exciting milestone for the brand. “Australia has a very special place in my heart, and we can’t wait for Australians and New Zealanders to meet our Resilient Lady and experience all that she has to offer in true Virgin style,” Sir Richard said. “For more than 50 years, Virgin companies have been innovating and making industries better for our customers. Virgin Voyages is very much charting its own path, offering a fresh perspective on cruise travel with all the elements of the Virgin experience that people love.” Resilient Lady will sail through Australia and New Zealand from December 11, 2023 - March 27, 2024. Images: Virgin Voyages

Cruising

Readers respond: What is an adult problem that nobody prepared you for?

We asked our readers what the biggest surprise of adulthood was, and their answers were hilariously honest. From cooking everyday and having kids, to various aches and pains, here are all the adult problems that no one warned our readers about, before it was too late! Jill Short - Needing to cook a meal every single night!! Gail Fredericks - When you've got little kids, you can't go to the toilet on your own. Diane Porter - Having to do your work and everyone else’s too, washing, shopping, cleaning, everything- unless you want to live in a pigsty and have nothing to eat. Norma Fowler - Loss of mobility, the amount of paper work to get anything, the huge cost of nursing home care. Julia Metcalfe - Being tired. All. The. Time. Tolla Edda Anderson - Having to be more flexible as you age. That is having to adapt faster to a faster pace of life. Camellia Musumeci-Cali - How lonely it gets when your children leave home. Annette Bradshaw - When getting older, my head would write cheque’s that my body can’t cash. Lynda Gibbons - The aches and pains of old age. Wendy McKnight - Your body growing old while your mind is stuck on 35. Pam Garmony - Trying to figure out how to program ovens and microwaves when you stay away from home. Ron Wright - The fact that the hill at the end of our street gets steeper every year. Terri Vanderwerf - Thinking of things to eat for the rest of your life! Fran Matthews - Not been able to move quickly, after 2 hips 2 knee replacements in old age! Jim Mitchell - That the "golden years" actually don't have gold. Image credits: Getty Images

Mind

Controversial reason man barred wife's bridesmaid

A man has asked whether he’s in the right for asking his fiancée to ban her friend from their wedding because she works in the adult entertainment industry. The groom took to Reddit revealing that his future wife is very close friends with the adult industry star, who is well known and could possibly be asked for autographs at the wedding. However, he is questioning whether or not he is being reasonable to bar the friend from the wedding. “Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t disapprove of her at all, that’s her business. She’s great. But my family is staunchly religious,” he wrote. “So much so that my mom said that if the wedding was not held in a chapel she would not be attending. “I know it’s ridiculous but it’s my family. And it’s not just her, it’s that entire side with the exception of a few cousins and my siblings.” He insisted the problem with having her attend the wedding is because of how “recognisable she is” and even admitted to having seen some of her videos. “I’ll fully admit that prior to meeting her, I had watched a few of her videos just because of how viral they are,” he confessed. “I’m sure other guys there will have seen her videos too, and if something gets mentioned or pointed out it could cause so much drama that I really don’t want to deal with on the wedding day. “I also don’t want attention to be taken off the woman I’m marrying.” The couple broached the subject and his fiancée said she would have her friend at the wedding regardless of what anyone thinks or says despite trying to compromise. “She told me that she is one of her closest friends and that she’s not moving her out of our wedding just to appease my mother,” the man continued. “I told her that I want our day to go off without a hitch and this is just mitigating risk. “I also said that I felt that she owed me one because she vetoed a groomsman of mine because he cheated on someone in the bridal party. “She felt it was unfair and now we’re at an impasse. She told me that the way I was behaving was gross and I was being an a**hole.” The Reddit community did not hold back questioning why the man was so worried about his religious family’s reaction when they shouldn't be watching such content. “And how, pray, is this deeply religious family going to recognise an adult film actress? Anyone who recognises her has no right to be outraged,” someone wrote. “Your family is deeply religious, but you were going to have a cheating groomsman? How does that work? This is about you being a prude,” another commented. “I’m dying to know how the ‘very religious’ mother would know who this person was,” another interjected. Image: Shutterstock

Relationships

Nearly 1 in 3 adults over 65 had a new condition post-Covid

<a href="https://www.scimex.org/newsfeed/almost-1-in-3-older-adults-develop-new-conditions-after-covid-19-infection" target="_blank" rel="noopener">New research</a> from the US has found that almost a third of older adults who caught COVID-19 went on to develop at least one new condition that required medical attention. The study, published in <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/376/bmj-2021-068414" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The BMJ</a>, discovered that 32 out of every 100 adults over 65 that they studied went on to develop any of a range of conditions that affected the heart, kidney, lungs or their mental health after they were first infected. In comparison, only 21 percent of those in the control groups - who didn’t catch Covid - developed a new condition. To understand the risk of additional illness older adults faced after a COVID-19 diagnosis, the researchers used health insurance records to identify 133,366 people over the age of 65 who were diagnosed with the virus before April 1, 2020. These individuals were matched to three control groups from 2020, 2019, and a group diagnosed with a viral lower respiratory tract illness (RTI), which included the flu, viral bronchitis and non-bacterial pneumonia. The team then recorded any persistent or new conditions 21 days after a diagnosis of Covid, and calculated the excess risk of developing these conditions due to Covid based on age, race, sex and whether patients were treated for the virus in a hospital. When compared to the 2020 and 2019 non-covid groups, patients who had Covid were at more risk of developing conditions including respiratory failure (an extra 7.55 percent), fatigue (5.66 percent higher), high blood pressure (an extra 4.43 percent), and a mental health diagnosis (2.5 percent more) However, the difference between Covid patients and those with a viral lower RTI was much smaller, with risks of respiratory failure, dementia and fatigue being higher. Additionally, the team found the risk of developing several conditions was higher for those who were men, black, or over the age of 75. Though this is only an observational study, the researchers argue it is important to understand the health risks the millions of people who have had Covid face. “These findings further highlight the wide range of important sequelae (new conditions) after acute infection with the SARS-CoV-2 virus,” they wrote. “Understanding the magnitude of risk for the most important clinical sequelae might enhance their diagnosis and management of individuals. “Also, our research can help providers and other key stakeholders anticipate the scale of future health complications and improve planning for the use of healthcare resources.” Image: Getty Images

Body

6 easy and fun adult crafting ideas to get you inspired

1. Canned VaseWoven materials, like cane webbing, are neutral in color, giving bold florals the space to shine. Cut a piece to fit around any ol' vase, then stitch a line or cross pattern along the edges in a contrasting color of your choice. Wrap the webbing around the vase and adhere with hot glue.2. Dip Dye CandlesCast a custom glow with these color-blocked candles. Take plain taper candles and dip them in a mixture of colored crayon shavings and melted candle wax. Use painter's tape for a more even dye job or embrace the unexpected and dip as you please.3. Paper flowersMake these flowers now, so you can enjoy 'em all season long. To make, fold dyed cupcake liners in half and cut out petal and fringe shapes. Then fold a piece of floral wire in half and twist around the faux flower stamen. Poke the wire through the center of three to four paper liners. Finish it off by wrapping floral tape around the base of the liners and bringing it all the way down the stem.4. Hand-Dyed napkinsBring color to any table with watercolor napkins. Once you soak napkins in water and wring out the excess, brush fabric paint in small strokes from bottom to top, diluting the paint with water as you work your way up. Hang and let dry completely before adding them to your place settings.5. Entryway organiser Breathe new life into a dumpster-bound window frame by coating it in a striking pastel hue. Then come up with clever ways to make it functional for your everyday — adding a chalkboard for grocery lists, small hooks to hang keys and more.6. Wallpapered VesselsQuite literally a trash-to-treasure craft, pretty wallpaper or wrapping paper turns empty cans into statement vessels, which can be used as vases, pencil holders or candle holders. Just be sure to rinse out the cans and file down sharp edges first.

Art

How adults learn a new language

<div class="copy">Learning languages is a breeze for young children, but once that window of opportunity closes, for adults it becomes notoriously difficult. Now, Spanish scientists have shed more light on how we get around this.While it’s thought that language is specialised in the left side of the brain, the researchers found that the right side also helps out when learning a new language as an adult, providing further evidence of the brain’s remarkable flexibility.“The left hemisphere is widely considered to be more or less hardwired for language, but there is plenty of evidence that it is not quite as simple as that,” says Kshipra Gurunandan from the Basque Centre on Cognition, Brain and Language, lead author of a paper <a href="https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.0851-20.2020" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in the Journal of Neuroscience.This is seen, for instance, in the unpredictable nature of language impairment and recovery after brain damage to either hemisphere, especially in people who are multilingual. Gurunandan and colleagues noted that adults can memorise lists of foreign or nonsense words but struggle to distinguish or pronounce foreign sounds or tones. They reasoned that this difficulty could arise from non-linguistic, sensorimotor aspects of language.“Reading, listening and speaking activate common ‘language’ regions in the brain,” Gurunandan explains, “but they also involve the visual, auditory and motor regions, respectively, and we wanted to study the consequences for language learning.”To test this, they recruited 48 healthy native Spanish speakers aged 17 to 60 from language schools. The study consisted of two experiments: one compared basic and advanced level learners of the <a href="https://nabasque.eus/euskara.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Basque</a> language and the second looked at Spanish-Basque natives before and after a three-month language course in intermediate-level English.The volunteers performed language tasks involving reading, listening and speaking in their native and new languages while their brains were scanned using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).While speaking primarily activated language regions in the left hemisphere, results showed much greater variation in which hemisphere was activated while reading and, to a lesser degree, listening. The switch was most apparent in more advanced learners.This suggests reading and listening are more flexible throughout adulthood, which makes them easier to learn as people become more proficient, according to Gurunandan. It could also explain why adults can often understand a new language but struggle to speak it to the same skill level.It’s striking, she adds, that the switch from a native language to a new one that’s being actively learned recruits the brain’s left hemisphere but lateralises to both hemispheres with greater proficiency, which might also help people separate the two languages.The researchers say these insights “have major theoretical and practical implications” for understanding the neural underpinnings of language, clinical patients and language learning in the general population.Image credits: Getty Images<img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="height: 1px!important;width: 1px!important;border: 0!important" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=125490&title=How+adults+learn+a+new+language" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></div><div id="contributors">This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/how-adults-learn-a-new-language/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Natalie Parletta. </div>

Mind

Life’s stages are changing – we need new terms and new ideas to describe how adults develop and grow

What image comes to mind when you think of a person in their 20s? Do you imagine an adult stressed out by the weight of many new responsibilities in family and work roles? Or do you envision someone who is bursting with hope and undeveloped potential, still more of a kid than an adult, struggling to define a life and making little or no money but managing to find occasional joy nevertheless? Perhaps your soundtrack here is <a href="https://youtu.be/AgFeZr5ptV8">Taylor Swift’s radiant “22”</a>: “We’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical.” How about when you think of someone in their 60s? Do you envision someone – or maybe a happy couple – enjoying life, living well, still vigorous but now freer than before from daily work and family duties? Or do you see someone who is stooped over from a lifetime of carrying burdens, their health diminished, now shuffling toward no particular destination? Here the soundtrack might be the doleful Beatles song “<a href="https://youtu.be/ckV2ogbt8W4">When I’m 64</a>”: “Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I’m 64?” The whole arc of adult development has changed over the past several decades, in ways that our psychological theories are still catching up with. In the 21st century, does it still make sense to refer to “young adulthood,” “midlife” and “late adulthood,” as psychologists have been doing for so long? If not, what are more accurate concepts? Most of my career <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=8bvGDaYAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=sra">as a developmental psychologist</a> has been devoted to answering these questions. My theory of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10842426/">emerging adulthood</a> recognizes that the lives of younger adults have changed vastly since the 1960s. As the father of 22-year-old twins, I’m keenly aware of their journey through the new life stage I have been researching and writing about for so long. As a 64-year-old, I’m also turning my attention to how the 60s have changed from what they used to be. <h2>A longer-than-ever journey to adulthood</h2> In my research over the past two decades, I’ve found that people ages 19 to 29 are neither fully adult nor in an “extended adolescence” – as this time of life was viewed over the course of the 20th century. In the early 21st century, these years had become a time of gradually and often erratically making one’s way toward <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Adulthood-Winding-Through-Twenties/dp/0199929386/ref=sr_1_2?crid=KJSM1BSQUMBJ&keywords=jeffrey+jensen+arnett&qid=1637252495&s=books&sprefix=Jeffrey+Jensen%2Caps%2C175&sr=1-2">a more established adulthood</a>. I invited scholars from all over the world to contribute to a special issue of American Psychologist, one of the top journals in psychology, on the theme of <a href="https://doi.apa.org/fulltext/2020-29966-001.html">“Rethinking Adult Development: New Ideas for New Times.”</a> The recently published results are a wonderfully diverse set of papers that go a long way toward reconceptualizing what adult development looks like now and where it might be going. Most of the authors were developmental psychologists. About half were Americans and half were Europeans, although <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7474435/">Shinobu Kitayama and his colleagues</a> offered a refreshingly different Asian cultural perspective. Here are some of the highlights: – Ages 30 to 45 are now “the rush hour of life.” Today people around the world wait later than ever to marry and have kids, and most have only one or two. But then couples typically have the dual challenge of trying to move ahead in their careers while also handling the intense responsibilities of caring for young children. Women have vastly greater opportunities in education and work than they did in 1960, which is welcome but also presents new challenges and stresses. In <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000600">their contribution</a> to the special issue, <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Famp0000600">Clare Mehta and her colleagues</a> propose the term “established adulthood” to distinguish these years as the most intense and demanding years of adult life, characterized by the “career-and-care-crunch,” when obligations are high in both work and family roles. – In midlife – ages 45-60 – the crunch years of caring for young children abate. Adults reach their peak career earnings and status in their late 40s and 50s. But life can become complicated, as new responsibilities may arise with grandchildren and with aging parents who need more assistance. Overall, as <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000591">Frank Infurna and colleagues detail</a> in their contribution, mental health declines in midlife. Reports of depression and anxiety increase. Seeking professional help for mental health issues reaches a lifetime peak. Furthermore, midlife well-being, health and life expectancy have declined notably in the U.S. since 2000, especially among working-class adults who have been left behind by the information-and-technology economy. This has led to an epidemic of <a href="https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691190785/deaths-of-despair-and-the-future-of-capitalism">“deaths of despair”</a> from suicide, opioid overdoses or alchoholism. – Adults in later life, ages 60-75, are thriving like never before. Although life after age 60 is traditionally regarded as a time of inevitable decline, the reality of it has become sharply different –and better – in recent decades. Life expectancy at birth is higher now than it has ever been, worldwide, and adults are smarter and healthier for longer than ever. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000596">Denis Gerstorf and his colleagues</a> show how these positive trends have taken place across many countries over the past century because of improvements in education, nutrition and health care. [Like what you’ve read? Want more? <a href="https://memberservices.theconversation.com/newsletters/?source=inline-likethis">Sign up for The Conversation’s daily newsletter</a>.] Physical health issues do arise with age for most people, but more people than ever before stay healthy through their 60s and early 70s by maintaining healthy diet and physical exercise practices. One of the exciting recent findings highlighted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000612">in Ursula Staudinger’s article</a> is that regular exercise promotes mental health as well as physical well-being, helping to maintain mental sharpness and prevent Alzheimer’s disease. Life satisfaction also seems to rise in later life, as we gain a new freedom to choose the kind of work we do – or stop working altogether and spend more time with the people we care about most. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000615">According to Phillip Ackerman and Ruth Kanfer</a>, more people are working into their late 60s and early 70s than ever before, but they have more freedom to choose how they do it, whether it’s working part time, starting a small business or trying something they have always wanted to do. <h2>Adulthood’s new arc requires new concepts and ideas</h2> Over my decades of writing about emerging adulthood, I’ve learned that it matters how people think about the stages of human development. Thinking shapes expectations and how experiences are interpreted. Lots of compelling and exciting new findings about adult development point to the importance of rethinking previous theories, assumptions and stereotypes about the course of adult life.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/171478/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jeffrey-arnett-1160487">Jeffrey Arnett</a>, Senior Research Scholar, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/clark-university-2129">Clark University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lifes-stages-are-changing-we-need-new-terms-and-new-ideas-to-describe-how-adults-develop-and-grow-171478">original article</a>. Image: Hinterhaus Productions/DigitalVision via Getty Images

Retirement Life

Beyond Bluey: why adults love re-watching Australian kids’ TV from their childhoods

Due to the COVID-19 extended lockdowns this year, as well as greater accessibility on streaming services, many adults have been returning to their childhoods via nostalgic kids’ TV viewing. As part of our research project, <a href="https://www.actcresearch.com/">Australian Children’s Television Cultures</a>, we surveyed over 600 adults about their viewing habits — and it turns out some viewers never forget the joy of the television shows that they raced home to watch after school. Many survey participants confessed they had simply never stopped watching children’s shows in the first place. Australia’s own <a href="https://actf.com.au/news/view/17433/7-australian-kidsa-tv-shows-that-parents-will-love">Dance Academy (2010-2013)</a> was frequently mentioned in the responses as a show that even adult viewers “can watch… anytime and feel connected with,” as one respondent put it. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427087/original/file-20211018-18-l9c9vw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427087/original/file-20211018-18-l9c9vw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="The cast of Dance Academy." /></a> Australia’s Dance Academy (2010-2013) is popular with adults today. IMDB <h2>Streaming Nostalgia</h2> For those who didn’t keep their old VHS tapes or DVDs, it has been the advent of streaming services, from YouTube to Netflix, that has enabled viewers to rediscover their cherished kids’ shows of old. Nearly two thirds of adult respondents have revisited Australian children’s shows in recent years, most often via online clips and streaming services. In our survey, <a href="https://theconversation.com/round-the-twists-fans-grew-up-and-their-love-for-the-show-grew-with-them-167695">Round the Twist (1989-2001)</a> emerged as the favourite Australian children’s television show to revisit, with Lift Off! (1992-1995), Lockie Leonard (2007-2010) and <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/culture/tv-and-radio/there-s-a-55-year-old-bear-in-there-happy-birthday-play-school-20210708-p587xr.html">Play School (1966-)</a> also highly placed. <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427090/original/file-20211018-38329-zawqys.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427090/original/file-20211018-38329-zawqys.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /></a> Lift Off! (1992-1995) is a popular show for adults to find clips from on YouTube. IMDB <a href="https://actf.com.au/news/view/18318/14-ozkidstv-series-to-stream-on-netflix">Netflix has licensed a swathe of Australian kids shows</a>, among them Round the Twist and Lockie Leonard. Our survey showed that these classic programs not only turn up as recommendations on Netflix kids’ profiles, but in adults’ recommendations as well, whether or not they have children. Indeed, <a href="https://cstonline.net/family-watch-together-tv-netflix-and-the-dark-intergenerational-fantasy-by-djoymi-baker-jessica-balanzategui-and-diana-sandars/">Netflix has been keen to license and commission nostalgic content</a> with intergenerational appeal. While there’s nothing new about adults getting swept up in nostalgia for childhood viewing, the streaming era has made it even easier to pass on these family viewing traditions. <h2>Kids’ shows in lockdown</h2> The heightened nostalgic urge to <a href="https://cstonline.net/reuniting-with-friends-during-a-pandemic-by-simone-knox-and-kai-hanno-schwind/">return to old TV shows</a> has also been linked to the COVID-19 lockdowns many of us have recently been through, or indeed are still experiencing. In our survey, many respondents mentioned the lockdown made them more likely to revisit children’s TV from their youth. As one survey respondent noted, “in these strange and chaotic COVID-19 times, I’ve been really feeding into the nostalgia.” Nostalgia emerged as a term in 1688 to describe a <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/when-nostalgia-was-a-disease/278648/">disease</a> primarily associated with soldiers longing to return home, even though upon their return, home was never quite the same. The word itself reflected this bittersweet combination, forged from the Greek nostos (homecoming) and algos (pain). In popular culture, nostalgia is frequently associated with warm and fuzzy feelings, but, as <a href="https://newleftreview.org/issues/ii14/articles/timothy-bewes-an-anatomy-of-nostalgia.pdf">Svetlana Boym influentially suggests</a>, nostalgia is also a type of grieving for a past that has been lost. Returning to kids’ TV is a way of both grieving for and celebrating our own <a href="https://library.oapen.org/viewer/web/viewer.html?file=/bitstream/handle/20.500.12657/25965/1004118.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y">past childhood</a>, as well as a pre-COVID world we used to enjoy. In other words, nostalgia is not as simple as we might at first assume. <h2>Family viewing</h2> Our survey responses indicate families have been uniting across the divide of lockdown restrictions and closed borders to watch old kids’ TV shows together: “In lockdown, it’s provided a connection point for my family” by rewatching Round the Twist and <a href="https://actf.com.au/education-programs/id/188/">Sky Trackers (1994)</a>, one respondent noted. They explained, “we talk about what we remember, and tell jokes about it consistently through messaging services.” Not only parents but also grandparents and babysitters revealed they enjoy sharing beloved shows from their childhood with the next generation. This strategy <a href="https://cstonline.net/intergenerational-spectatorship-doctor-who-at-the-beach-by-djoymi-baker/">isn’t always successful</a> given tastes and expectations have changed, with today’s kids finding some old shows “bonkers” or describing the special effects as dated. As one parent from the survey notes, “having children now, I want to show them some of the shows I loved (whether they like it or not!)” Many of our survey participants discussed this shared viewing across generations, but also just among other adults. So as it happens, kids’ TV isn’t just for kids. <h2>Unifying a generation</h2> Beyond family members, our participants are finding connections with their own generation on social media through old kids’ shows they still enjoy. Even young adults are already feeling nostalgic. “I have loved <a href="https://punkee.com.au/h20-just-add-water-tiktok/77899">watching on TikTok people recreating some of the iconic scenes</a>” from H2O: Just Add Water (2006-2010) and Blue Water High (2005-2008), one participant told us. They explained, “When scrolling through the comments of these videos there’s often hundreds of other young Australians that relate as they had the same fond memories of these shows which I feel unites us.” <a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427091/original/file-20211018-22-105e8dz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/427091/original/file-20211018-22-105e8dz.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /></a> H2O: Just Add Water (2006-2010 has become a popular worldwide meme on TikTok, and has spurred many people to revisit the series. IMdB With so much content now spread across broadcasting, cable and streaming television services, it’s uncertain whether today’s kids’ TV will offer this same sense of <a href="https://www.flowjournal.org/2020/03/streaming-comes-across-the-sky/">communal nostalgia</a> to future generations — though <a href="https://theconversation.com/an-idealised-australian-ethos-why-bluey-is-an-audience-favourite-even-for-adults-without-kids-168571">Bluey (2018-)</a> is surely a contender. Bluey is already the focus of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/blueyfanmemes/">popular memes</a> and a successful <a href="http://www.blueypod.com/">recap podcast</a>, so perhaps the show is a contemporary vehicle for adult viewers’ nostalgia about growing up in Australia, albeit in a new guise. Ultimately, our research indicates that engaging nostalgically with kids’ TV has been an important means of social connection during the pandemic, both between adults and within and across different generations. Although nostalgia was initially defined as a ‘disease’, today it is combating the division the pandemic has created, with locked down audiences using streaming services to reconnect with their favourite kids’ TV and each other.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/169727/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/djoymi-baker-1269345">Djoymi Baker</a>, Lecturer in Cinema Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-balanzategui-814024">Jessica Balanzategui</a>, Senior Lecturer in Cinema and Screen Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/joanna-mcintyre-333903">Joanna McIntyre</a>, Lecturer in Media Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/liam-burke-109751">Liam Burke</a>, Associate Professor and Cinema and Screen Studies Discipline Leader, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/beyond-bluey-why-adults-love-re-watching-australian-kids-tv-from-their-childhoods-169727">original article</a>.

‘An idealised Australian ethos’: why Bluey is an audience favourite, even for adults without kids

Bluey, the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-04-01/bluey-abc-kids-show-wins-international-emmys-childrens-award/12111308">Emmy award-winning</a> animated series about a family of anthropomorphized cattle dogs, has become a <a href="https://www.kidspot.com.au/lifestyle/entertainment/the-most-downloaded-show-on-the-abc-is-not-what-youd-expect/news-story/6c1fdef918c5890b23695538c8c136b2">ratings phenomenon</a> since it was first broadcast on the ABC in 2018. Bluey follows the eponymous six-year-old Blue Heeler, her younger sister, Bingo, and their playful parents, Bandit and Chilli. As part of our new research project, <a href="https://www.actcresearch.com/">Australian Children’s Television Cultures</a>, we are <a href="https://swinuw.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2nLAOj9X5VUfPvw">surveying audiences</a> about how they interact with Australian children’s programming. From over 700 adult responses, Bluey was the TV program parents were most keen to watch with their children. Respondents celebrated its unambiguously Australian setting, irreverent humour, and family orientated themes at a time when other children’s content, such as the dead-eyed nursey rhymes of YouTube channel <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbCmjCuTUZos6Inko4u57UQ">Cocomelon</a>, seem to only offer generic, computer-generated distractions. Indeed, many adults without children said they watch Bluey. One respondent described Bluey, which is set in Brisbane, as “representative of an idealised Australian ethos — relaxed, curious, and hard-working”. Another, an early childhood educator, emphasised that “Australian children need Australian shows”. And as a parent explained, <blockquote> It’s nice for children to see familiar landmarks and have issues that are current to them, as opposed to Peppa Pig and needing to explain why we don’t have snow at Christmas". </blockquote> One aspect of Bluey audiences consider particularly relatable is the family dynamic, including the games Bluey and Bingo play with their resourceful parents. One locked-down Australian mother has even created “<a href="https://looseparts.com.au/bluey/">50 Days of Bluey</a>”, guidelines for home activities inspired by the show. <iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EuSpVc9z3Rk?wmode=transparent&start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> Bluey’s games include: “Daddy Robot” in which a “malfunctioning” Bandit teaches Bluey and Bingo the importance of tidying up; “Rug Island”, a kids-only oasis that the Heelers create in their backyard; and “Mount Mumandad”, in which Bluey and Bingo climb their exhausted parents after they have collapsed on the couch. Then there’s the humour: described by one respondent as full of Australian cultural nuances. As one parent noted, <blockquote> Bluey ‘gets’ parents perfectly … we enjoy watching it so we steer our kids towards it. </blockquote> <h2>Read on many levels</h2> The show can be read on multiple levels, which is why it can appeal to adults too. For instance, a recent Father’s Day episode saw Bluey’s dad, Bandit, discuss his conflicted feelings about getting a vasectomy with another dad. As Bandit explained, “I’m keen to get it done, but, Chilli, [his wife] she wants to keep her options open”. This adult moment in what is ostensibly a kids’ cartoon generated much discussion on social media. One fan tweeted <blockquote> I’m a grown man wondering if a cartoon dog family is going to have a baby. Weird life this is. </blockquote> From election day barbecues to Queenslander houses and backyards, early audience responses to our study agree Bluey offers a snapshot of Australia. However, many were quick to point out this snapshot doesn’t provide the full picture. Bluey has been <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/can-bluey-show-be-more-representative/100042084">gently criticised</a> for a perceived lack of diversity. The show centres on a hetero-normative nuclear family in a world largely populated by able-bodied characters, with Anglo-Australian names and accents. As one respondent noted <blockquote> We’re definitely getting better [at reflecting Australian culture] with shows like Bluey, but as a gay man I would love to see more LGBT representation in kids’ shows. It would be nice as a kid to know you’re valid. </blockquote> Nevertheless, many of this study’s early participants felt that on the whole, kids’ TV was becoming more reflective of wider Australia. Children’s content praised for providing greater diversity of representation included Indigenous Australian-led shows Little J & Big Cuz and Jarjums. National babysitter Play School was celebrated for its continued commitment to featuring hosts from a variety of backgrounds, and the greater diversity in The Wiggles’ new line-up was applauded. <h2>Taking ‘bush wees’ global</h2> One respondent wondered if the humour and references in Bluey were “lost on audiences outside of Australia”. However, since the Walt Disney Company acquired the show’s international broadcasting rights in 2019, Bluey has been reaching a wide <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/jun/13/australias-bluey-goes-global-after-fetching-deal-with-disney">overseas audience</a>. While some small accommodations have been made for international viewers — “capsicums” became “peppers” in the UK and a gag with a pooping pony was cut for Disney Junior — the show has resisted being watered down. As such, it is taking bilbies and “bush wees” to global audiences. At a time when the commercial broadcaster quotas that previously protected local kids’ TV have been <a href="https://theconversation.com/cheese-n-crackers-concerns-deepen-for-the-future-of-australian-childrens-television-147183">scrapped</a> and international shows like Paw Patrol and Peppa Pig can be instantly summoned by tapping on a smart-phone, the local enthusiasm for Bluey is heartening. “I have friends in the US whose kids watch Bluey and they say their kids are talking in Aussie accents,” noted one respondent with pride. Said another: “Bluey will be forever iconic not just to kids but their parents, not just in Australia but all over the world”. Our research project, <a href="https://www.actcresearch.com/">Australian Children’s Television Cultures</a>, aims to better understand the role and responsibility of local Kids’ TV. You can participate in this research by clicking on the following <a href="https://swinuw.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2nLAOj9X5VUfPvw">link</a>. You can also follow us on <a href="https://twitter.com/_ACTC_?s=20">Twitter</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/168571/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/liam-burke-109751">Liam Burke</a>, Associate Professor and Cinema and Screen Studies Discipline Leader, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/djoymi-baker-1269345">Djoymi Baker</a>, Lecturer in Cinema Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-balanzategui-814024">Jessica Balanzategui</a>, Senior Lecturer in Cinema and Screen Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/joanna-mcintyre-333903">Joanna McIntyre</a>, Lecturer in Media Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/an-idealised-australian-ethos-why-bluey-is-an-audience-favourite-even-for-adults-without-kids-168571">original article</a>. Image: ABC TV

What to do when the ‘nest won’t empty’

Having adult children living at home may be a mutually beneficial situation for many of us, but for others it can present real difficulties that threaten relationships and make life unpleasant. This is can be a genuine issue for many of us who are approaching or are in retirement What exactly is a KIPPER? Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings Of course, you never stop being a parent and it is important to be supportive when one of your children, or a member of your family genuinely needs your help. It can be difficult when financial problems or job loss may have led your adult offspring back to your doorstep, or a relationship breakdown may see them suddenly without a home to go to. In some cases they may never have left home in the first place or may be ‘boomerang’ kids who return home several times. Negotiating this situation to ensure you are all ok and your relationship survives the experience is paramount. What are Boomerang kids? Children who leave home and return several times Whatever the reason, it can be an awkward situation if the negatives start outweighing the positives and you still love them (but secretly are ready for them to move out). Of course it is natural to want to provide refuge if your own flesh and blood is in a time of crisis, but setting the boundaries and expectations for how the arrangement will work and how long it will last is often something that is left open ended and without any discussion or agreement. This can lead to tension and misunderstanding and may be ultimately detrimental to both the host and the guest. The situation may even escalate to the point where an adult child is unfairly taking advantage of the hospitality without any financial contribution or even a willingness to help around the home. In extreme cases there may be veiled hostility, lack of respect or even abuse involved. So does a parent in this situation go about administering ‘tough love’ when things go off the rails? If it costs you roughly $150 extra each week to have an adult child living at home that adds up to a whopping $7,800 per year! Realising that it’s OK to say “no” Technically speaking, once children reach adulthood then the parent no longer has an obligation to care for them. Of course in reality it would be unnatural to suddenly give up any sense of care about the relationship, but in the end it is a parent’s right to say whether their child should live with them or not. Setting the ground rules If a decision is made that an adult child is to be allowed to stay in the home then it is of course preferable if some ground rules can be set out in advance. Prevention is always better than cure. It might sound harsh at first, but a written agreement that both parties commit to is completely appropriate. It will provide the clarity that is so vital to the arrangement being workable and it eliminates assumptions, misconceptions and misunderstanding that may occur down the track. 31% of people aged 20–34 have left home and returned Such an agreement should outline the limitations and expectations, including these top 5 tips: 1. The length of stay and what they need to contribute financially during that time (e.g. contribution for rent, food and utilities). 2. The expectations on domestic duties, such as cleaning, cooking and laundry. 3. What happens if something breaks? Will they be allowed to use your car and if so, will their name be added to your car insurance policy? 4. Lifestyle issues, such as rules around friends, dates or visiting partners; cooking, smoking, drinking and music. 5. The consequences of the agreement being broken, such as how much notice is provided for them to vacate. It may seem heavy handed to have a formalised and signed agreement, but it can actually help the relationship on both sides by identifying the practical issues and dealing with them in a cool and objective way, rather than leaving them to chance. It may well be the case that the child has not even considered such issues and they may even appreciate that their contribution to the arrangement has been spelled out. Of course, you never stop being a parent and it is important to be supportive when one of your children genuinely needs your help What if you want them to leave? The bottom line is that it always remains the parent’s right to invite a family member in or ask them to leave. It is also valid for a parent to change their mind and ask someone to leave, even if they had invited them in the first place. Of course it is one thing to know your rights and another to actually take the sometimes difficult step of asking an adult child to leave if co-habitation becomes unworkable. Once a person decides that there is no alternative but to ask the child to leave, then it needs to be done very carefully. Making such a request in the heat of an argument or when one of the parties is not fully attentive will be counterproductive. The best idea is to set aside a specific time to talk when things are calm and without distraction. The request should be made directly and firmly but with calm composure and free from aggression or emotion. A specific and reasonable time frame should be stated and a commitment sought, so that there are no ambiguities or misunderstandings. Mediation is the next step If talking directly with the child does not bring a resolution, then the next step may be to seek independent dispute resolution, which can be provided through various state and territory government agencies. Such services go under different names in each state, such as “Family Dispute Unit”, “Community Justice Centre” or “Mediation Service”. These services offer a great alternative to resolve issues without going to court, if both parties voluntarily choose to attend. They do not provide legally binding rulings or orders, but are designed to help negotiate an agreement in good faith in a safe, neutral and non-biased environment. Legal action is a last resort If mediation does not produce a result then the parent may need to resort to legal action against the child. This may take various forms, depending on the severity and nature of the situation. For example, is the child a tenant, a boarder or a lodger? Have they made threats against the parent? Has any actual harm been perpetrated? The variety of possibilities means that legal advice needs to be sought to determine the best course of action. Once a matter goes to court then a ruling can be applied if your case is successful, such as an 'exclusion order' requiring the child to move out of the home and prohibit them from approaching the property. Acting early can make all the difference As with any family situation, clear and calm communication is the key to success. A little forward planning can eliminate a lot of pain in the future, so taking the time and effort to set up a written agreement is well worth it. It may be difficult or embarrassing to talk about with friends or family about how you are financially supporting an adult child over an extended period of time. However, there is help at hand. If you find the thought of confronting your adult child too traumatic then consider speaking to a psychologist to help you through the process. To find a local psychologist speak to your GP and visit <a href="http://www.psychology.org.au/FaP/">psychology.org.au</a>

Caring

How imaginary friends from childhood can continue to affect us as adults

Crabby crab is my four-year-old son Fisher’s imaginary friend. Crabby appeared on a holiday in Norway by scuttling out of his ear after a night of tears from an earache. Like other childhood imaginary friends, Crabby should be an indication that Fisher’s mind <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-imaginary-friends-could-boost-childrens-development-108525">is growing and developing positively</a>. Indeed, research shows that invisible companions can help boost children’s social skills. But what happens when children grow up and their imaginary friends disappear? Will Crabby have influenced Fisher into adolescence or adulthood? And what if you continue to have imaginary friends as an adult? The <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/imaginary-companions-and-the-children-who-create-them-9780195146295?cc=gb&lang=en&">vast majority of the research</a> on imaginary friends looks at young children as this is the time when these playmates are most likely to appear. But researchers have started looking into the impact of imaginary childhood friends in adolescence and adulthood. Imaginary friends in childhood <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/archneurpsyc/article-abstract/646325">are classified</a> as invisible beings that a child gives a mind or personality to and plays with for over three months. It is very rare that adults have imaginary companions. But there are a few different types of behaviour that could be considered a form of imaginary friendship. For example, adult authors can be seen as prolific creators of imaginary friends in the form of characters. That’s because their characters <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/FTG3-Q9T0-7U26-5Q5">have personalities and minds of their own</a>, and authors often report their characters leading the writing rather than vice versa. Tulpas, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulpa">objects created</a> through spiritual or mental powers in mysticism, are also a sort of imaginary friend. Social skills in adolescence Research has shown that the positive effects of having imaginary friends as a child continue into adulthood. Adolescents who remember their imaginary playmates have been found to use <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/12097456_Dear_Kitty_you_asked_me_Imaginary_companions_and_real_friends_in_adolescence">more active coping styles</a>, such as seeking advice from loved ones rather than bottling things up inside, like their peers. Even adolescents with behavioural problems who had imaginary friends as children have been found to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20677857">have better coping skills</a> and more positive adjustment through the teenage years. Scientists think this could be because these teens have been able to supplement their social world with imagination rather than choosing to be involved in relationships with more difficult classmates. It could also be because the imaginary friends help to alleviate these adolescents’ loneliness. These teens are also are more likely to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-03619-001">seek out social connections</a>. Some older research suggests that such adolescents have higher levels of psychological distress than their peers who do not remember having imaginary playmates. But the majority of research being done points to mainly positive outcomes. Current research being done now by my student, <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Tori_Watson">Tori Watson</a>, is taking this evidence and looking at how adolescents who report having imaginary friends as children deal with bullying at school. We suspect that teens who remember their imaginary friends will be better at dealing with bullying. Creativity and hallucinations Adults who had imaginary friends, meanwhile, report that <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/47348555_The_personality_correlates_of_adults_who_had_imaginary_companions_in_childhood">they are more creative and imaginative</a> than those who did not. We also know that they are <a href="http://dro.dur.ac.uk/18217/">better at describing a scene</a> that they have constructed in their imagination. This could be because they were more imaginative to start with and/or that playing with an imaginary friend in childhood helped boost such capabilities. There are also other discrepancies in how adults see and interact with the world around them that scientists think stems from the use of imagination when playing with an invisible friend as a child. For example, adults who had imaginary friends <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-09526-001">talk to themselves more</a>. This is thought to be because they have grown up being more comfortable talking when no one else real is around. Interestingly, research has shown that talking to yourself <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-talking-to-yourself-a-sign-of-mental-illness-an-expert-delivers-her-verdict-77058">can be a sign of high cognitive functioning</a> and creativity. Adults who had imaginary companions as children may become used to seeing things that aren’t really there and explaining them to people. For this reason, imaginary friends have been looked at as a type of hallucination that is experienced by normally developing children. Importantly, the children know that these friends <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17995485">aren’t actually real</a>. Adults similarly can have hallucination experiences when going in or coming out of a deep sleep. We sometimes also see or hear things that aren’t there, for example in the corner of our eye – knowing it’s our mind playing tricks on us. My team and I recently investigated whether people who had imaginary friends as children also report more such hallucination experiences. Interestingly, our study, <a href="https://pure.hud.ac.uk/en/publications/adult-report-of-childhood-imaginary-companions-and-adversity-rela">published in Psychiatry Research</a>, found that this actually is the case. Importantly, these individuals were not a greater risk of developing psychosis or schizophrenia, they were just more likely to have common forms of hallucinations. We know that because we also tested other perceptual experiences like unusual thoughts and ideas as well as symptoms of depression. These experiences, in combination with more intense hallucinations, can put people at higher risk of developing schizophrenia. But people who had had imaginary friends didn’t show this combination of symptoms. There was one exception, though – individuals who had also suffered child abuse. These people were more likely to have both unusual thoughts and ideas, and depression, possibly making them more vulnerable to psychosis. It’s unclear whether this link has got anything to do with imaginary friends or whether it is all down to the trauma of having suffered child abuse, with imaginary friends instead playing a comforting role. So while we know a lot about childhood imaginary friends such as Crabby Crab, and the positive effects they can have, there is still a lot to learn about imaginary friends and how our childhood experiences with them might make us see the world differently.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/113064/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> Written by Paige Davis, Lecturer in Psychology, York St John University. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-imaginary-friends-from-our-childhood-can-continue-to-affect-us-as-adults-113064">The Conversation</a>.

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