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6 ways to be more supportive to those closest to you

Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today. During difficult periods of life, such as experiencing a tragic loss or sudden break-up, those you care about need you to be there for them. At other times, your loved ones may not need help, but at least would like some support and encouragement. It’s well known that receiving social support is one of the best and most effective ways to cope with stress. People who perceive themselves to be supported are also most likely to be happier, and may even live longer than those who don’t. New research on social support for parents of autistic children shows just how you can be the person on whom your loved ones can most rely. The ageing parents of adult children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) undoubtedly face major challenges in their daily life and, according to this new research, benefit tremendously from the type of social support that friends and loved ones can provide. Christine Marsack, in the School of Social Work at Eastern Michigan University, teamed up with Preethy Samuel of Wayne State University (2017), to investigate the role of social support in mediating the amount of perceived burden and quality of life. As the authors point out, caregiving research on adult children and their ageing parents has typically focused on predicting burden in the children. There is far less known about what happens to ageing parents when it’s the children themselves who are in need of caregiving. The Michigan team based their work on the cognitive model of stress and coping, in which it’s the appraisal of an event as stressful that leads it to have a negative impact on the individual. In the case of parents of children with ASD, after coping with the challenge of receiving the diagnosis itself, their next step is to come “to grips with the condition and obtain access to support services to assist with caregiving” (p. 2379). The question that Marsack and Samuel investigated was whether formal or informal social support would have ameliorating effects on parental stress. Using a sample of 320 parents aged 50 and older, the majority of whom were under 70 years of age, the research team administered an online survey inquiring about psychological quality of life, perception of caregiving burden, contact with formal support agencies, and perceived degree of informal social support. Formal supports were used heavily by sample members, including psychiatric, financial, counselling, and adult day care, for example. Even the relatively wide range of opportunities to get help in this way was not enough to stave off the effects of perceived burden on parental mental health outcomes. Instead, it was their answers to a six-item questionnaire of informal support that proved to be key in reducing their perceived stress. The questionnaire used by Marsack and Samuel was one developed for use in assessing perceived availability of social support by coronary heart disease patients that has been widely adapted to other situations. It’s from this measure, known as the Enhancing Recovery in Coronary Heart Disease (ENRICHD) Social Support Index (ESSI), that we can now look to see how you can support people coping with challenges in their own lives right now: 1. Be available to listen. The ESSI asks whether there is someone who will be available to listen when needed. This means that you provide a sounding board when the person who needs your support approaches you. It doesn’t mean that you provide help regardless of whether you’re being asked for it. Let the person you care about know that you’re willing to listen, uncritically, when the situation demands it. 2. Be available with advice. When you are approached for help, providing advice can prove to be very supportive. Again, providing unsolicited advice isn’t perceived as particularly supportive, but being ready for it when asked will help ensure that your advice hits a receptive audience. 3. Show love and affection. Without providing anything in the way of objective support, it’s often enough just to know that someone cares to help get the stressed individual through tough times. The love and affection could be of the face-to-face form, and it's probably best when it is, but it can also come in the form of virtual cheers. 4. Help out every now and then with daily chores or by running errands. This is something you need to be able to do in person, so if you live some distance away from the individual you would like to support, it may mean that you take a trip there every few months to do some of the heavy lifting around the house, or just help with some on-site logistics. 5. Support the individual during the decision-making process. The person you care about may have to come up with plans that require more than just a sounding board or advice. Being patiently willing to go through the steps required to solve the problem can give the person you care about a more balanced perspective than would be possible if he or she were making this decision alone. 6. Be a person who the person you care about can trust and confide in. The ESSI inquires about being actually present, but if this isn’t feasible, that quality of being trustworthy seems to be key. Caring for an adult child with ASD may have led some of the parents to wish they could talk about their frustrations, perhaps even about those they felt toward their spouse, with someone outside the relationship. Worrying that the person they told might violate that trust would only add to the stress of their situation. You might think it’s enough for the person you care about to sign up for an established support network or to be able to receive financial or emergency assistance. The Marsack and Samuel study shows that the quality of the friendship, trust, and sensitivity you provide that can make an even greater difference. There’s no way to avoid all of the stressful situations that life can present, whether through family situations, work problems, or emergencies. Fulfillment in our relationships involves, as this study shows, that willingness to give the support that will make the most difference in helping those we care about. Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/4141/the-neuroscience-joyful-education-judy-willis-md.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Psychology Today</a>. Images: Getty

Relationships

How to leave a legacy to look after those you love

It can be difficult getting on top of your own finances, and knowing how to prepare for the transition to the next generation, but with these tips from financial expert Jacqui Clarke, it has never been easier to manage your money, “so it doesn’t manage you”. Leaving a legacy involves more than just material wealth. It encompasses the values, memories, and support you provide to your loved ones even after you're gone. A legacy is the enduring impact and influence you leave behind, shaping the lives of others and the world around them. To be honest, in the context of family and looking after those that you love, it’s something that’s being created from the moment your children or grandchildren, nieces or nephews are born. Legacy can simply be the way you do things and ensuring your descendants know this. For others it might be a lifelong passion project that you want to continue supporting after your lifetime. To ensure your way, your wishes and your wealth are successfully transitioned to the next generation and create an enduring legacy there are 3 crucial steps to consider. Let’s delve into the significance of these elements and explore practical steps you can take to leave a lasting legacy that will benefit those you care about the most. 1. Understanding Estate Planning Estate planning is the process of organising and distributing your assets after you pass away. It allows you to have control over who receives your property and ensures your wishes are carried out effectively. By engaging in estate planning, you not only protect your loved ones from potential legal disputes and unnecessary financial burdens but also provide them with a clear roadmap for the future. Start by taking inventory of your assets, including your savings, investments, real estate, and personal belongings. Next, consult with a qualified estate planning lawyer who can guide you through the creation of essential documents such as wills, power of attorney and possibly testamentary trusts. These legal instruments will help safeguard your assets, minimise tax liabilities, and ensure that your loved ones are taken care of according to your wishes, forming a solid foundation for your lasting legacy. 2. Communicating Your Intentions Effective communication is essential when it comes to leaving a legacy. Clearly expressing your intentions and discussing your estate plan with your loved ones can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts down the line. Initiate an open and honest conversation about your plans, and explain the reasons behind your decisions. This will help your family understand your intentions and provide them with peace of mind during a potentially challenging time. While discussing your estate plan, it's vital to listen to your loved ones' concerns and consider their perspectives. Encourage dialogue and address any questions or uncertainties they may have. Engaging in these conversations demonstrates respect for their opinions and fosters a collaborative approach to legacy planning. By effectively communicating your intentions, you lay the groundwork for a legacy that encompasses not only financial assets but also the values, memories, and guidance you wish to pass on to future generations. 3. Incorporating Non-Financial Aspects Leaving a legacy isn't limited to financial matters and serious hiccups can occur if you miss this one. Consider the non-financial aspects that make up your legacy, such as your values, traditions, and life lessons. Take the time to document your family history, personal anecdotes, and insights that can guide future generations. This could be in the form of a written memoir, video recordings, or audio messages. As an example, my parents loved touring Australia, so I asked them to provide me with all their road trip planning documents, another example are collating the recipes from my grandmother and wanting to ensure these weren’t lost. Family gatherings are a brilliant opportunity to promote a sense of openness about your planning. It’s a good time to chat about family heirlooms and meaningful possessions with your family members, not just your sentimental items but asking them if you hold something that carries sentimental value to them. You might be surprised by the reaction you get. Seemingly everyday “things” may serve as a special reminder of your love and the unique bonds you share. Your legacy encompasses not only the tangible assets you leave behind but also the intangible gifts of wisdom, love, and values that shape the lives of your loved ones. By incorporating these non-financial aspects into your estate plan and actively transmitting them, you ensure that your legacy extends beyond material possessions and leaves a profound impact on those you cherish. Leaving a legacy is about more than just divvying up your net worth. Through estate planning, effective communication, and the incorporation of non-financial aspects, you can shape the future and ensure that your loved ones are well taken care of. Jacqui Clarke FCA, FTI, GAICD, JP, author of Stop Worrying About Money (Wiley, $29.95), is a trusted advisor, board member, executor and veteran business executive. As a personal wealth and money management expert and over three decades of experience, 25 years at Deloitte and PWC helping high-net-worth families, individuals and business owners to build, manage and preserve their wealth. Her message is simple: with careful planning and effort, you can manage your money, so it doesn’t manage you.<a href="https://www.jacquiclarke.me/"> https://www.jacquiclarke.me/</a> Images: Getty

Retirement Life

Calling drag queens ‘groomers’ and ‘pedophiles’ is the latest in a long history of weaponising those terms against the LGBTIQA community

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/timothy-w-jones-11557">Timothy W. Jones</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> Drag queens around the world are currently being accused of “grooming children” through <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drag_Queen_Story_Hour">drag storytime events</a>. These accusations curiously associate public book reading with child sex offending. We know from <a href="https://publishing.monash.edu/product/the-sexual-abuse-of-children/">decades of research and inquiries</a> the places that young people are most at risk of sexual victimisation are their home or an institution of care (such as a school, orphanage or church). The people that most often offend against children are family members and care providers. However, this recent panic about drag queens reading in public libraries is actually typical in the history of child sexual abuse. This history has involved repeated moral panics that distract from the alarming data regarding child sexual abuse in the home. Instead, these narratives locate the threat to children outside of the home - to gay men, “stranger danger” and even satanic ritual abuse - rather than confronting the situations and protecting children where they are most at risk. <h2>Moral panic</h2> In the 1970s, feminist attention to domestic violence, sexual assault and the patriarchy created the conditions that enabled the sexual assault of children in the home to be put in the spotlight. It wasn’t long, however, before attention was shifted elsewhere. In the 1980s, fears about a new form of abuse spread. <a href="https://theconversation.com/satanic-worship-sodomy-and-even-murder-how-stranger-things-revived-the-american-satanic-panic-of-the-80s-186292">Satanic ritual abuse</a> was thought to involve large numbers of victims and perpetrators, but was <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/pdf/10.1521/jscp.1997.16.2.112">“so cloaked in secrecy and involve such precise concealment of evidence that almost no one knew about it”</a>. Satanic ritual abuse captured headlines and people’s imaginations with tales of particularly painful, depraved and degrading practices. Research has shown that reports of abuse initially came from adults who “regained memories” of experiences of satanic abuse in their childhoods. Additional reports clustered in the periods after media attention on initial cases. The consensus in medical literature that emerged in the 1990s was there was a tendency of some individuals, especially clients of particular psychotherapists, to manufacture memories of abuse which never occurred. Corroborating evidence of abuse was not found, leading sceptics to account for these <a href="https://journals-sagepub-com.ez.library.latrobe.edu.au/doi/epdf/10.2466/pms.1994.78.3c.1376">“pseudomemories” through “misdiagnosis, and the misapplication of hypnosis, dreamwork, or regressive therapies”</a>. Subsequently, the <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Organised-Sexual-Abuse/Salter/p/book/9781138789159?gclid=CjwKCAjwjYKjBhB5EiwAiFdSflzGRpk-QL7yO8HrAOZbbtD-okQbGIOYC47WI3m-obre71DXVhs7_hoCfwcQAvD_BwE">satanic ritual abuse controversy</a> and “<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0924933816020824">false memory syndrome</a>” have been used to discredit hard-fought feminist recognition of the gravity of child sex offending <h2>A deviant lifestyle</h2> There is also a long history of using paedophilia and ideas about child grooming in homophobic and transphobic ways to oppose the recognition of the civil rights of LGBTIQA people. Campaigns to decriminalise homosexuality often struggled against attempts to impose unequal ages of consent in reform legislation. In 1967, for example, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Offences_Act_1967">homosexuality was decriminalised in England and Wales</a>, but men had to wait until they were 21 to legally consummate their love, five years longer than straight lovers. In Tasmania, <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_Pink_Triangle.html?id=Wp6cPAAACAAJ&redir_esc=y">the last Australian state to decriminalise sex between men</a> (in 1997), a heated public debate frequently raised issues of child protection. Letters to newspapers claimed that decriminalisation “would only open the floodgates and allow the very young to become prey to those who have chosen to lead this deviant lifestyle”. The idea was that young people are vulnerable to becoming homosexual and shouldn’t be allowed to consent to sexual activity until they were much older than their heterosexual peers. Sitting behind this notion of the vulnerability of young queer people is the <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/orientation">false idea</a> that LGBTIQA status is a sign of moral failing, illness or perversion. Further, it perpetuates the myth that queerness or transness is somehow transmissible. This is the somewhat fantastical idea that everybody has the latent potential to become queer or trans, and all that is needed to convert is exposure to a queer or trans person. These fears have fuelled repressive legislation, such as the notorious <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/27/section-28-protesters-30-years-on-we-were-arrested-and-put-in-a-cell-up-by-big-ben">Section 28</a> in Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s Britain, <a href="https://www.reuters.com/graphics/UGANDA-LGBT/movakykrjva/">Ugandan</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_gay_propaganda_law">Russian</a> laws banning the promotion of homosexuality, and the “<a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/02/17/florida-advances-dont-say-gay-bill?gclid=Cj0KCQjwsIejBhDOARIsANYqkD1-IyOtYIl1WefomHHCyNZ0t88GRQTVciS7iJFoUslPSu4In5ayS3IaAqadEALw_wcB">don’t say gay</a>” laws in the United States. Ironically, these strange and harmful ideas are also behind the ineffective, discredited and dangerous attempts to change or suppress LGBTIQA people’s sexuality or gender identity. In these instances of so-called “conversion therapy”, it is <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/Documents/Issues/SexualOrientation/IESOGI/Academics/Equality_Australia_LGBTconversiontherapyinAustraliav2.pdf">often religious conservatives</a> who <a href="https://www.latrobe.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0007/1201588/Healing-spiritual-harms-Supporting-recovery-from-LGBTQA-change-and-suppression-practices.pdf">“groom” young LGBTIQA people</a> in attempts to make them straight and cisgendered. Such change and suppression practices are now thankfully <a href="https://www.humanrights.vic.gov.au/change-or-suppression-practices/about-the-csp-act/#:%7E:text=Practices%20that%20seek%20to%20change,preventing%20and%20responding%20to%20them.">against the law</a> in many jurisdictions around the world. <h2>A kinder and gentler future</h2> Despite periodic moral panics, the history of gender and sexuality since 1970 tends towards a kinder, gentler future. People have generally become more accepting of LGBTIQA people’s human rights, and are more welcoming and celebrating of sexual and gender diversity. The pace of change has been fast, however, and some groups of people haven’t gotten used to contemporary community standards of acceptance, such as the move towards marriage equality around the world. Because of this history of growing acceptance, young people are feeling more comfortable and safer to explore their identities at younger ages. They are thus more visible than they used to be in the past. However, they’re also more vulnerable as they explore sensitive aspects of their inner selves at younger and potentially less resilient ages. <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-021-00615-5">Research shows</a> the impacts that homophobic and transphobic messaging can have on young people, proving they need to be protected from this harmful rhetoric – not from drag queens. Drag storytime events are an age-appropriate way to celebrate diversity. They benefit all children – gay, straight, transgender and cisgender – with education about consent, human dignity, self determination and human rights. This <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14681811.2021.1978964">knowledge is one of the best protective factors</a> against child victimisation.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205648/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/timothy-w-jones-11557">Timothy W. Jones</a>, Associate Professor in History, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/calling-drag-queens-groomers-and-pedophiles-is-the-latest-in-a-long-history-of-weaponising-those-terms-against-the-lgbtiqa-community-205648">original article</a>.

Caring

A Mother’s Day poem for those who have lost their mums

Over60 community member Jenny Bush shares this poignant poem on Mother’s Day. “I have been thinking about all the mothers out there for whom Mothers’ Day is a source of disappointment and quite often a day filled with a sense of loss and hurt. I have written this poem for those of us who miss what the special day used to mean in our lives.” – Jenny Bush A Mothers’ Day Lament Reflecting on Mother’s Days of yesteryear My heart laments with a silent tear Of the significance of what that day used to be And the profound impact it had on me. Cherishing time spent with my Nan and my Mum Never dreaming that the day would eventually come When neither were here to share the day To feast with us and watch kids at play. Our whole family would gather and have so much fun Quite often on picnics – enjoying the sun. With aunts and uncles and cousins too But life was simple back then, it’s true. Life now moves on at such a fast pace And every day it seems like we are running a race. People are so busy doing this and that There is so little time to sit, and simply chat. For many reasons families can be torn apart Quite often resulting in a broken heart. There is commercial pressure to buy Mum something new Causing some to resort to writing an I.O.U Many mums now spend the day alone For some it’s a quick chat with family by phone. And some celebrate with friends who are on their own too While accepting that life’s ways are now all new. I will miss my mum and my nan this Mothers’ Day But I am so grateful for memories of the special way We used to celebrate their love and care for us Which was usually given with a minimum of fuss. I am sad for the customs we seem to have lost With the emphasis now placed on the financial cost. Progress is great in so many ways But oh how I sometimes miss “the good old days”. Illustration: Midjourney

Family & Pets

There’s a growing gap between countries advancing LGBTQ+ rights, and those going backwards

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Foreign Minister Penny Wong joined 50,000 people to march in support of queer rights across the Sydney Harbour Bridge for World Pride in early March. A week earlier, Albanese became the first sitting prime minister to march in Sydney’s Mardi Gras, something he’s done over several decades. And yet at the same time, in another part of the world, Uganda’s parliament passed <a href="https://theconversation.com/ugandas-new-anti-lgbtq-law-could-lead-to-death-penalty-for-same-sex-offences-202376">a string of draconian measures</a> against homosexuality, including possible death sentences for “aggravated homosexuality”. Any “promotion” of homosexuality is also outlawed. Seven years ago, I co-wrote a book with Jonathan Symons called Queer Wars. Back then, we suggested there was <a href="https://researchers.mq.edu.au/en/publications/queer-wars-the-new-global-polarization-over-gay-rights">a growing gap</a>between countries in which sexual and gender diversity was becoming more acceptable, and those where repression was increasing. Sadly, that analysis seems even more relevant today. <h2>A growing gap</h2> Some countries have been unwinding criminal sanctions around homosexuality, which are often the legacy of colonialism. This includes, in recent years, former British colonies <a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/08/22/singapore-decriminalize-gay-sex">Singapore</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/sep/06/indian-supreme-court-decriminalises-homosexuality">India</a>. But others have been imposing new and more vicious penalties for any deviation from stereotypical assumptions of heterosexual masculine superiority (what Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205278639">terms</a> “hegemonic masculinity”). Anti-gay legislation is currently pending in Ghana, which led US Vice President Kamala Harris to <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-43822234">express concerns</a> on a recent visit. These moves echo the deep homophobia of Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has <a href="https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/putins-anti-gay-war-on-ukraine/">bizarrely linked</a> intervention in Ukraine to protecting traditional values against LGBTQ+ infiltration. Meanwhile, reports from Afghanistan suggest that anyone identified as “LGBT” is <a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2022/01/26/afghanistan-taliban-target-lgbt-afghans">in danger of being killed</a>. Indonesia recently passed legislation <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/dec/06/indonesia-passes-legislation-banning-sex-outside-marriage">penalising all sex outside marriage</a>. This follows <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13639811.2022.2038871">years of anti-queer rhetoric</a> from Indonesian leaders and crackdowns in regional areas. And while the Biden administration is supportive of queer rights globally, the extraordinary hysteria <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/mar/07/cpac-anti-trans-rhetoric">around trans issues in the Republican Party</a> reminds us the West has no inherent claim to moral superiority. <h2>Where to next?</h2> Speaking at the World Pride Human Rights Conference, both Wong and Attorney General Mark Dreyfus made it clear Australia would press for recognition of sexuality and gender identity as deserving protection, as part of <a href="https://www.foreignminister.gov.au/minister/penny-wong/speech/sydney-worldpride-human-rights-conference-opening-statement">our commitment to human rights</a>. Wong also announced a <a href="https://www.themandarin.com.au/213443-wong-announces-international-fund-for-lgbt-rights/">new Inclusion and Equality Fund</a> to support queer community organisations within our region. Australian governments have usually been wary of loud assertions of support for queer rights. This is partly due to a reasonable fear this merely reinforces the perception that such language reflects <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/african-studies-review/article/abs/locating-neocolonialism-tradition-and-human-rights-in-ugandas-gay-death-penalty/33A06F4F33CF586E20E208BE790E71E0">a sense of Western superiority</a>, unwilling to acknowledge other societies may have very different attitudes towards gender and sexuality. Australia is part of the Equal Rights Coalition, an intergovernmental body of 42 countries dedicated to the protection of the rights of LGBTQ+ people, and has supported sexual and gender rights in the <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/rights-and-freedoms/australias-second-universal-periodic-review-human-rights">country reviews</a> undertaken by the United Nations Human Rights Commission. Australia has a minimal presence in Uganda, and direct representations are unlikely to have much effect. Uganda is a member of the Commonwealth, as are Ghana, Kenya and Zambia, where official homophobia appears to be increasing. But there’s little evidence the Australian government sees this as a significant foreign policy forum, or is prepared to push for sexual rights through its institutions. As persecution on the basis of sexuality and gender identity increases, more people will seek to flee their countries. Queer refugees face double jeopardy: they’re not safe at home, but they’re often equally unsafe in their diasporic communities, which have inherited the <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2018/01/lgbt-refugees-untold-story/">deep prejudices of their homelands</a>. The UN’s refugee agency <a href="https://www.unhcr.org/lgbtiq-persons.html">reports</a> that most people seeking asylum because of their sexuality are unwilling to disclose this, because of discrimination within their own ethnic communities. This makes it impossible to have accurate numbers. But a clear signal from Australia would be a powerful statement of support – that it understands the situation and welcomes people who need flee because of their sexuality or gender expression. An official Canadian government document <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/refugees/canada-role/2slgbtqi-plus.html">states</a>: "Canada has a proud history of providing protection to and helping to resettle the world’s most vulnerable groups. That includes those in the Two-Spirit, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, and additional sexually and gender diverse community." Theirs is a model worth following. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/theres-a-growing-gap-between-countries-advancing-lgbtq-rights-and-those-going-backwards-203329" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Caring

3 great travel tips from those with experience

1. Search for deals Whether it be for flights or accommodation, thanks to the internet, there’s always a way to find cheaper travel than booking on the airline’s website. One tip to save money on flights (even though it is a bit of a pain) is to select flights with stopovers; although it’ll take a little longer, it will always be cheaper than a one-stop flight. As for accommodation, book motels or stay in hostels or simply search for deals on third-party websites. Be patient! 2. Get travel insurance Yes, it's annoying to have to pay for a “just in case” situation on top of flights, planned activities and accommodation, but it is the most sensible thing to do when travelling, especially internationally. A common saying is, “if you can’t afford travel insurance, you can’t afford to travel”, and it reigns true. You could sustain an injury that hospitalises you in another country, so to get out of paying absurd fees, lock in travel insurance to keep yourself safe. 3. Never exchange money in your home country Exchange your money in the foreign country you’re travelling to. Most airports and banks have horrible exchange rates. You’re always better off getting money out at the ATM once you’ve arrived at the destination. If you don’t want to pay ATM fees, look into getting an international ATM card! Image credit: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

What Australia learned from recent devastating floods – and how New Zealand can apply those lessons now

Australia and New Zealand have both faced a series of devastating floods triggered by climate change and the return of the <a href="https://www.weatherwatch.co.nz/content/historic-3rd-la-nina-is-back-but-it-barely-left-us-in-the-first-place">La Niña weather pattern</a>. So it makes sense that Australia has now <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-17/australia-sends-disaster-crew-to-nz-death-toll-rises/101989822">sent disaster crews</a> to help with the aftermath of Cyclone Gabrielle. With <a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/2343938-eastern-australia-is-battling-fifth-major-wave-of-floods-in-19-months/">five serious floods</a> in the space of 19 months in 2021-2022, Australia’s experiences – and how people responded – offer New Zealand a guide for recovering and rebuilding after an extreme weather event. The flooding events in both countries share two key common elements. First, the floods broke previous records and were the largest in recent history. Second, there were also repeat flood events. In Auckland, there were <a href="https://www.odt.co.nz/news/national/residents-evacuated-homes-roads-flooded-again">two massive floods within five days</a>, while Cyclone Gabrielle became the Coromandel’s <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/484167/cyclone-gabrielle-thames-coromandel-already-facing-fifth-severe-weather-event-of-year">fifth severe weather event</a> for 2023 and devastated other parts of the North Island. The other common factor is urbanisation. <a href="https://www.stats.govt.nz/news/auckland-population-may-hit-2-million-in-early-2030s">Auckland’s population has been growing</a>, resulting in the increasing development of the built environment. Intensifying urban development places pressure on existing drainage systems – parts of which are no longer fit for purpose. Extensive built-up and paved areas with hard, impermeable surfaces can also cause rapid run-off during heavy rain, with the water unable to be absorbed into the ground as it would be in <a href="https://theconversation.com/auckland-floods-even-stormwater-reform-wont-be-enough-we-need-a-sponge-city-to-avoid-future-disasters-198736">soft, vegetated areas</a>. <h2>Working with the community</h2> Our <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7En6dA-N3MA">recent research</a> in the Hunter Valley in Australia – one of the areas affected by those five successive floods – identified similar factors contributing to the flooding events, including a <a href="https://www.nsw.gov.au/sites/default/files/2020-06/Hunter%20REDS.pdf">rapidly growing regional population</a>. Two of our research sites – the Cessnock and Singleton local government areas – had growing urban centres that reflected a similar development trajectory to Auckland, albeit in a smaller scale. Our research in the Hunter Valley established the importance of identifying existing community resilience and gaps. We also observed the need to involve the community at all levels. This included having early warning systems and evacuation protocols in place to improve community access to information and warnings. The State Emergency Services (SES) is the main agency in New South Wales responsible for flood response and management. Supported by community volunteers, the SES has a clear focus at the local level. This community focus is evident with its “door-knocking kit”, which is based on a community-level vulnerability assessment. The SES has a list of those in the community who are most at risk, such as the elderly and people with disabilities. When a flood risk becomes evident, SES volunteers go knocking on doors to check their preparedness and provide evacuation support. The equivalent of SES in New Zealand, Auckland Emergency Management, could learn from this community-based approach and include it within its <a href="https://getready.govt.nz/en/involved/community/">Community Group Support</a> initiative, so that future disaster responses can be more closely tailored to the community. In the recent floods in Auckland, communication was an issue. Relaying directives and information through multiple institutional layers <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/world/oceania/some-incorrect-decisions-auckland-mayor-under-fire-over-deadly-floods-20230130-p5cggt.html">led to confusion</a>, which could have been avoided through a closer community-based approach. <h2>Building a volunteer army</h2> Another key factor in Australia is the large cadre of SES volunteers – around <a href="https://www.ses.nsw.gov.au/about-us/">9,000 in New South Wales</a>, a state with a population of just over eight million. This is a significant form of social capital, without which the current approach to flood response and management would not be possible. While there are initiatives in New Zealand to <a href="https://www.civildefence.govt.nz/get-ready/volunteering/">attract and engage volunteers</a>, more needs to be done. Civil defence needs to conduct a structural review of the existing volunteer organisations that work in the disaster and emergency response field to identify ways to improve the recruitment and retention. We also found evidence of volunteer “burn-out”, meaning there’s a need to support volunteers emotionally and financially during extended periods of disaster response and recovery. While there is a large number of SES volunteers in Australia, more are needed as climate change drives more frequent, extensive and intense disasters. Given the similar nature of repeat climate-related disaster events in New Zealand, provisions for a large cadre of well-supported and well-trained volunteers is necessary. A review of existing volunteer agencies and community organisations should be undertaken to identify ways they can be harmonised to avoid competing pressures for resources. As well, there’s a need to nurture collaboration between agencies to help with sharing skills, training, data and resource management. <h2>The need for resilience</h2> Perhaps the key lesson for New Zealand, and also Australia, is the need to think beyond emergency management to building long-term resilience within agencies and communities. As climate-related disasters become more common, we need to think about how our cities grow and how we can incorporate flood resilience by retaining green areas and vegetation, improved drainage and transportation links. But both countries also need to focus on being ready for a disaster, instead of managing it after it happens. In doing so, the pressures of managing the disaster when it arrives would be less – and so would the long-term impacts on people and the economy. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-australia-learned-from-recent-devastating-floods-and-how-new-zealand-can-apply-those-lessons-now-200078" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Travel Trouble

"Those Spencer eyes": Princess Di's brother shares rare 120-year-old family photo

Princess Diana’s brother, Charles Spencer, has shared a sentimental photo of their grandfather and his siblings in 1902. Charles shared the picture on Twitter and fans of the royal family were quick to note the striking resemblance between Charles’ grandfather and his own nephew, Prince William. “Your Grandfather, Prince William and Prince George look a lot alike! A really charming photo,” wrote a fan, extending their take to Prince William’s nine-year-old son, Prince George. The black-and-white image shows Charles’ grandfather, Albert Edward John Spencer, alongside his great-aunt Lavinia and great-uncle Cecil, dressed up in period suits and a frilly dress for a fancy-dress party. Charles, who lives at Althorp House with his wife Karen and daughter Charlotte, captioned the image, “Love the family photographs I find here at Althorp”. Fans praised Charles for the rare insight into the family, with one tweeting, “wonderful memories to cherish. Thank you for sharing”. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> Love the family photographs I find here at Althorp. My grandfather (left), my great-aunt Lavinia (middle) and my great-uncle Cecil, about to set off for a fancy dress party in c.1902. <a href="https://t.co/pwQ9NVIt75">pic.twitter.com/pwQ9NVIt75</a> — Charles Spencer (@cspencer1508) <a href="https://twitter.com/cspencer1508/status/1613987380591038464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 13, 2023</a></blockquote> Many were amazed at the similarities to be found between Albert and Prince William, but the fun didn’t stop there, with some even likening Lavinia to the late Diana, Princess of Wales. “Lavinia; I can see Diana in her expression. Great photos! Treasured memories,” wrote one supporter. “Those Spencer eyes,” wrote another, ending their message for the royals with a red heart emoji, a sentiment shared by many. The 9th Earl of Spencer is well known for his Instagram, where he regularly uploads rare pictures of his family and views of his home and its stunning surroundings in Northamptonshire. In an upcoming series helmed by Charles’ wife Karen, on the upkeep and experience of being lady of the house, she joined fans in praising his “ability to tell the history of the family". “Fabulous that you are creating an online journey with your photography finds!!” Praised one fan. “The quality is so good, normally in these old photos they are all cracked and you can’t see the faces very well. Thanks for sharing it’s like taking a step back in history - love it,” said another. The latest snap comes in the wake of Harry’s memoir release and subsequent TV interviews, at a time when fans of the family are more than eager for some positive news, with many sharing their gratitude to Charles for the change in pace. Image: Twitter

Family & Pets

Top 10 spooky stays for those Halloween weekend road trips

It's the spookiest time of year, and there are plenty of ghoulish places to discover around Australia. To help you plan your next spooky road trip, Toyota Australia has compiled a frightful list of ten top stays for a Halloween-themed road trip like no other. 1. <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.montecristo.com.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZb_k4JCv$" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Monte Cristo Homestead</a>, Junee NSW <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/monte-cristo-homestead2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Images: Monte Cristo Homestead (Facebook) Dubbed “Australia’s most haunted homestead”, Monte Cristo – only two-and-a-half hours’ drive from Canberra – is said to be haunted by at least ten ghosts, most significantly its original owners Christopher and Elizabeth Crawley. Christopher still haunts the room in which he passed, as kind a spirit as he was in life – Elizabeth, however, is not so nice; if she doesn’t like you, she’ll cause a chill across your skin to scare you off. Don’t believe us? For the thrill seekers and sceptics out there, Monte Cristo offers accommodation for you to sleep – or stare at the ceiling wide awake in terror all night. 2. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.georgeiv.com.au/accommodation/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZYG9SB7T$">George IV Inn</a>, Picton NSW <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/george-iv-inn.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Images: George IV Inn (Facebook) If you’re game, how about a night or two at the century-old George IV hotel in Picton? The eerily stripped-back interior couldn’t be more fitting for accommodation located in what is considered Australia’s most haunted town. Picton in NSW – an hour’s drive from Sydney – is host to a variety of ghostly locations. If you dare, venture down to the Redbank Range Railway tunnel, where it is claimed the spirit of Emily Bollard, who was killed by a train in 1916 – stay on the lookout for a pale, faceless figure of a woman. That’s not all - according to residents, the cries of babies can be heard from Picton’s now-defunct Old Maternity Hospital, three ghosts haunt the Wollondilly Shire Hall, and the jukebox has been known to start playing while unplugged at the Imperial Hotel. 3. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.qstation.com.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZemwu4JL$">Quarantine Station</a>, Manly NSW <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/quarantine-station.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Images: Quarantine Station Ghost Tours (Facebook) Q Station in Manly – only half an hour’s drive from the Sydney CBD – is a stunning venue with accommodation ranging from guest lounges, suites, and cottages, and multiple on-site harborside fine dining restaurants and bars. Yet, the station also has a dark history as a quarantine station for the unwell, first operating over 150 years ago and only closing in 1984, where it has since been the site of almost 600 deaths. As a result, the place is allegedly riddled with ghosts – that’s why Q Station also offers a range of ghost tours around the property, including through the onsite cemetery and morgue. 4. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.jenolancaves.org.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZac_sEC_$">Caves House Hotel</a>, Blue Mountains NSW <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/caves-house-hotel.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Image: Caves House Hotel (Facebook) Described on its website as a “romantic and relaxing place to stay overnight”, you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise if you knew the haunted history of the Jenolan Caves. From disembodied screams and unexplained shoulder taps within the caves to sightings of ghostly arms and the sounds of playing children deep into the night in Caves House, the official website has been sure to <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.jenolancaves.org.au/about/blog/spinechilling-stories-from-the-underworld/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZVr10l2I$">document</a> any stories and sightings of spirits and spectres of those brave enough to stay the night in their stunning – but spooky – Blue Mountains lodgings, a three hour’s drive from Sydney. 5. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.booking.com/hotel/au/castlemaine-gardens-luxury-safari-tents.en-gb.html?aid=356980&label=gog235jc-1DCAsoD0InY2FzdGxlbWFpbmUtZ2FyZGVucy1sdXh1cnktc2FmYXJpLXRlbnRzSDNYA2gPiAEBmAEJuAEXyAEM2AED6AEBiAIBqAIDuALvvsqZBsACAdICJGM1YWMzNWExLWNmOWMtNDMwZS04MDg5LWUwZjM3ZjIyMzQ4ONgCBOACAQ&sid=7840f168f5ccfb8a42fa50883655b5f2&dist=0&group_adults=2&group_children=0&keep_landing=1&no_rooms=1&sb_price_type=total&type=total&__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZaDDH6o3$">Castlemaine Gardens Luxury Safari Tents</a>, Castlemaine VIC <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/castlemaine-gardens.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Image: BIG4 Castlemaine Gardens Holiday Park (Facebook) Glamp in style at the Castlemaine Gardens Luxury Safari Tents, a semi-open-air accommodation tucked away in beautiful gardens in outer north-west Victoria – only an hour and a half’s drive from Melbourne. With an exposed wood interior and white tulle mosquito nets draped over the four-poster beds, the tents are reminiscent of the gold rush era. To further your historical-themed getaway, you could perhaps consider a trip to Old Castlemaine Gaol – a colonial-era prison famed for housing some of the time’s most violent criminals, many of whom are said to still haunt the hallways. If you’re too scared to go back to your tent, how about sticking it out for one of their infamous 12-hour overnight ghost tours? 6. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/craigsroyal.com.au/accommodation/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZb3Qyc0y$">Craig’s Royal Hotel,</a> Ballarat VIC <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/craigs-royal-hotel.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Images: Craig's Royal Hotel (Facebook) You know it’s worth the drive if the whole city has a dedicated website to ghost tours in the area. That’s the case with Ballarat’s <a href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.eerietours.com.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZW8NcLBZ$">Eerie Tours</a>, which offers a variety of historic ghost tours across both Ballarat, including its Old Cemetery and the Town Hall, and the nearby infamous Aradale Lunatic Asylum in Ararat – known as one of the most hostile haunted locations in Australia. After a night of frights (or two), it’s only fitting to retire in somewhere as grand as the heritage-listed, Victorian-designed Craig’s Royal Hotel – only an hour and a half’s drive from Melbourne. 7. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.spencersuitesalbany.com.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZZpDd-oj$">Spencer Suites</a>, Albany WA <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/spencer-suites.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Image: Spencer Suites (Facebook) Far down south in WA – five hours away from Perth if you drive – is the former colonial settlement of Albany, a seaside town rich with tales of ghost stories. From the ruins of a lighthouse said to be haunted by its keeper, a former hospital with doors closing on its own, a 150-year-old quarantine station and an old gaol, Albany offers so many spooky experiences you’ll just have to spend a couple nights – how about checking out Spencer Suites, where “heritage meets chic”? The refreshing modernity of the self-contained apartments would be a welcome change from the haunted colonial-era ruins. 8. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.babindaquarters.com/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZS_cs8AM$">Babinda Quarters</a>, Babinda QLD <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/barbinda-quarters.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Image: Babinda Quarters (Facebook) Most of the locations on this list so far have been colonial man-made institutions housing spirits of those who passed within their four walls, yet, a short drive from the beautiful tropical town of Babinda are the Babinda Boulders – a stunning and tranquil swimming and picnic area with a particularly treacherous stretch of the creek aptly named Devil’s Pool. According to local Indigenous legend, a young widow named Oolana came to the pool to grieve her husband, ultimately drowning herself to overcome her sorrows. It is said she still haunts the pool, with unexplained tides and sudden rushing torrents. Morbidly curious travellers beware: this creek has claimed many lives, something expressed on a sign as you approach it; most of them young men a similar age to the Oolana’s husband. If staying in Babinda to explore the rainforest (both haunted and not), Babinda Quarters, a recently refurbished art deco homestead offers stunning and quirky accommodation with a rainforest twist less than an hour’s drive from Cairns. 9. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__http:/www.fothergills.net.au/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZXtl3Uxs$">Fothergills of Fremantle,</a> WA <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/fothergills-fremantle.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Image: Fothergills of Fremantle (Facebook) Just half an hour’s drive from the heart of Perth CBD, Forthergills of Fremantle is a stunning 19th century heritage listed building, with rooms filled featuring local craftwork and fitted with on-theme colonial furniture – lit quite eerily in their official photos. Fittingly, Fremantle is home to one of the most infamous haunted locations in WA – the Fremantle Arts Centre. The former lunatic asylum is claimed to be one of the most haunted buildings in the state, with reports of faces being seen in windows, strange bouts of cold air, and doors opening and closing on their own. 10. <a style="text-align: center;" href="https://urldefense.com/v3/__https:/www.thestationkapunda.com/__;!!IHJ3XrWN4X8!Ngc0COUlXfvAPcWa76VI_T27Ce9juwK-Y7cUZh4HcjW0O7Lv9maA12KJkUIyW9mqjnZreRPe2Jy4IZ1YHy1xZZZ0jA3h$">The Station</a>, Kapunda SA <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/10/station-kapunda.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Images: The Station Kapunda (Facebook) While the most haunted hotel in Australia might not be available for bookings, we thought it’d be more advisable to stay in a nicer, considerably less-ghostly accommodation such as The Station at Kapunda, a stunning and modern escape in a 162-year-old renovated railway station, only an hour by car from Adelaide. That way you can escape from The North Kapunda Hotel should the spirits cause you too much distress. Kapunda is also known as an extremely haunted town, with tours across the town available for any thrill seekers out there. Images: Facebook

Domestic Travel

Olivia Newton-John gave a voice to those with cancer and shifted the focus to the life of survivors

<h2 class="legacy">Olivia Newton-John gave a voice to those with cancer and shifted the focus to the life of survivors</h2> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Since news of Olivia Newton-John’s death this week, many have paid tribute to her character, humble nature and cultural significance. She also made a significant contribution to cancer survivorship and the ideal of treating the whole person, not just their disease. Newton-John was <a href="https://www.onjcancercentre.org/about/olivia-newton-john">diagnosed</a> with breast cancer in 1992 and underwent a partial mastectomy, chemotherapy and breast reconstruction. Her cancer journey spanned three decades, and as she <a href="https://www.onjcancercentre.org/about/olivia-newton-john">explained</a>: <blockquote> The whole experience has given me much understanding and compassion, so much so that I wanted to help others going through the same journey. </blockquote> <h2>Bringing our attention to cancer</h2> Getting the community mobilised around difficult topics like cancer can be tough. Celebrities – and their experience of illness and healing – have become one of the most powerful means for mobilising action. Olivia Newton-John was one of the first to share her experience of breast cancer with a wide audience and her advocacy opened the door for others such as Kylie Minogue and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13058-014-0442-6?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000618">Angelina Jolie</a> to share theirs. Stories like theirs have mobilised cancer <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s13058-014-0442-6?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000618">screening</a> and <a href="https://www.onjcri.org.au/">research</a>, prompting reflection and normalised the experience of living with cancer. <h2>The ‘alternative’ voices of cancer survivorship</h2> The diverse approach Newton-John took to cancer treatment was a distinguishing part of <a href="https://www.womanandhome.com/life/olivia-newton-john-reveals-how-cannabis-has-helped-her-during-stage-4-cancer-battle/">her legacy</a>. As she explained when establishing the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness & Research Centre: <blockquote> I did herbal formulas, meditation and focused on a vision of complete wellness. </blockquote> Explaining her “pro cannabis” stance on <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/olivia-newton-johhn-60-minutes-cancer-medicinal-cannabis-key-to-recovery/3fe1b1ce-f8dd-43fd-b534-d2f4000dfd1e">60 minutes in 2019</a>, she reflected a growing recognition of community interest in diverse approaches to pain and symptom management, and how such community views often rub up against legal and regulatory constraints. Australia only <a href="https://www.nps.org.au/australian-prescriber/articles/prescribing-medicinal-cannabis#:%7E:text=The%20Australian%20Federal%20Government%20legalised,flower%20products%20are%20also%20available">legalised</a> medicinal cannabis in 2016, and many reservations persist among the Australian medical community. Being open about her experience, Newton-John gave voice to things which many Australian cancer patients try, and believe in, but many in the medical community continue to push back on. In Australia, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1743-7563.2010.01329.x">more than</a> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1744388118307679">half</a> of people living with cancer use alternative treatments over the course of their cancer journeys. Yet, alternative practices, including herbal products and medicinal cannabis, remain largely absent from mainstream cancer care. This risks putting mainstream medicine out of step with community beliefs. As regularly noted, managing patient interest in “alternative” cancer care is a tricky area, but what is clear is that openness and frank discussions serve everyone best. A <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jnci/article/114/1/25/6189098?login=true">harm-reduction</a> approach, which discusses and detects any dangerous side-effects or interactions, is safer than silencing what people living with cancer are doing or believe in. <h2>Challenges to unhelpful cancer narratives</h2> Cancer has suffered from a wide range of misconceptions and misrepresentations, ranging from ideas about cancer as a “death sentence”, or the idea that you either beat it or succumb to it. People often feel this does them a disservice. People with cancer are so much more than a “cancer patient”, and they don’t want to be trapped in that frame. They can live well with cancer, without focusing entirely on trying to be cancer-free to the exclusion of all else. Newton-John <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/oct/26/olivia-newton-john-i-dont-wish-cancer-on-anyone-else-but-for-me-it-has-been-a-gift">emphasised this idea regularly</a>. Likewise, the expectation of “<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0038038502036001006">cancer heroics</a>” is an all-consuming and unhelpful cultural ideal. Sometimes “fighting” works and is needed, but in many contexts and particularly for long-term survivors, focusing on quality of life and wellness is critical. This is likely why various alternative practices have gained traction, despite the slim evidence base for many. The world of “alternative therapies” has tended to present to the community a more person-centred approach, regardless of whether this is actually achieved by many practitioners in practice. <h2>Towards ‘survivorship’</h2> Cancer “<a href="https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/cancer-information/living-well/after-cancer-treatment/adjusting-to-life-after-treatment/who-is-a-cancer-survivor/">survivorship</a>”, in its broadest sense, denotes a broad focus, inclusive of the mind, body and the social life of the person living with cancer, not merely their disease, symptoms or treatment side-effects. Even two decades ago, the emphasis was almost exclusively placed on curative cancer treatment, treatment discovery, or post-curative experiences. This overly disease-centred focus tended to marginalise the many people who will continue to live on with cancer. Person-centred approaches, in their many forms, show <a href="https://bmcnurs.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12912-017-0206-6">considerable benefit</a>, although there continues to be a diverse set of understandings about what it <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0959804921003403">actually means</a>. The broad principle of person-centredness is that we are much more than a disease and this matters throughout all aspects of care. Our care needs to be structured around our beliefs, psychological and social needs and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jocn.14312">life experiences</a>. This may sound simple, but it is often not a central part of the picture. While we are making progress, as Newton-John was acutely aware, there is so much more to do in this realm. Based on our <a href="https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-cancer/what-cancer/cancer-australia-statistics">most recent estimates</a> more than one million Australians alive today are either currently living with cancer or have lived with it. Strategies which help all of us touched by cancer to live well, whether cured or not, should be the priority moving forward. While we must be careful not to push too far in the other direction – a <a href="https://www.degruyter.com/document/doi/10.1515/9780822394716/html">cruel optimism</a> which threatens to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1357034X15586240">sideline</a> the hard, sad and often difficult experiences of cancer – a balance is needed which we have not quite reached. Olivia Newton-John’s death will likely be difficult for some living with cancer. Important survivorship stories, when they come to a close, are difficult. So, let’s not pretend. Endings are hard, but a life well lived it also something to celebrate. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, Professor of Sociology & Director, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, The University of Sydney., <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation.</a> Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/olivia-newton-john-gave-a-voice-to-those-with-cancer-and-shifted-the-focus-to-the-life-of-survivors-188444">original article</a>. Image: Getty

Caring

The downside of digital transformation: why organisations must allow for those who can’t or won’t move online

We hear the phrase “digital transformation” a lot these days. It’s often used to describe the process of replacing functions and services that were once done face-to-face by human beings with online interactions that are faster, more convenient and <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/%7E/media/mckinsey/industries/public%20and%20social%20sector/our%20insights/transforming%20government%20through%20digitization/digital-by-default-a-guide-to-transforming-government-final.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">“empower” the user</a>. But does digital transformation really deliver on those promises? Or does the seemingly relentless digitalisation of life actually reinforce existing social divides and inequities? Take banking, for example. Where customers once made transactions with tellers at local branches, now they’re encouraged to do it all online. As branches close it leaves many, <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/business/123302983/asb-set-to-close-another-23-branches-as-customers-move-online" target="_blank" rel="noopener">especially older people</a>, struggling with what was once an easy, everyday task. Or consider the now common call centre experience involving an electronic voice, menu options, <a href="https://theconversation.com/sorry-i-dont-understand-that-the-trouble-with-chatbots-and-how-to-use-them-better-171665" target="_blank" rel="noopener">chatbots</a> and a “user journey” aimed at pushing customers online. As organisations and government agencies in Aotearoa New Zealand and elsewhere grapple with the call to become more “digital”, we have been examining the consequences for those who find the process difficult or marginalising. Since 2021 we’ve been working with the <a href="https://www.cab.org.nz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Citizens Advice Bureau</a> (CAB) and talking with public and private sector organisations that use digital channels to deliver services. Our findings suggest there is much still to be done to find the right balance between the digital and non-digital. The ‘problematic’ non-user The dominant view now suggests the pursuit of a digitally enabled society will allow everyone to lead a “frictionless” life. As the government’s own policy document, <a href="https://www.digital.govt.nz/dmsdocument/193%7Etowards-a-digital-strategy-for-aotearoa/html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Towards a Digital Strategy for Aotearoa</a>, states: <blockquote> Digital tools and services can enable us to learn new skills, transact with ease, and to receive health and well-being support at a time that suits us and without the need to travel from our homes. </blockquote> Of course, we’re already experiencing this new world. Many public and private services increasingly are available digitally <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/public-leaders-network/2014/jan/07/new-zealand-uk-digital-revolution" target="_blank" rel="noopener">by default</a>. Non-digital alternatives are becoming restricted or even disappearing. There are two underlying assumptions to the view that everyone can or should interact digitally. First, it implies that those who can’t access digital services (or prefer non-digital options) are problematic or deficient in some way – and that this can be overcome simply through greater provision of technology, training or “nudging” non-users to get on board. Second, it assumes digital inclusion – through increasing the provision of digital services – will automatically increase social inclusion. Neither assumption is necessarily true. ‘Digital enforcement’ The CAB (which has mainly face-to-face branches throughout New Zealand) has documented a significant increase in the number of people who struggle to access government services because the digital channel was the default or only option. The bureau argues that <a href="https://inclusioncampaign.cab.org.nz/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">access to public services is a human right</a> and, by implication, the move to digital public services that aren’t universally accessible deprives some people of that right. In earlier research, we refer to this form of deprivation as “<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/isj.12306" target="_blank" rel="noopener">digital enforcement</a>” – defined as a process of dispossession that reduces choices for individuals. Through our current research we find the reality of a digitally enabled society is, in fact, far from perfect and frictionless. Our preliminary findings point to the need to better understand the outcomes of digital transformation at a more nuanced, individual level. Reasons vary as to why a significant number of people find accessing and navigating online services difficult. And it’s often an intersection of multiple causes related to finance, education, culture, language, trust or well-being. Even when given access to digital technology and skills, the complexity of many online requirements and the chaotic life situations some people experience limit their ability to engage with digital services in a productive and meaningful way. The human factor The resulting sense of disenfranchisement and loss of control is regrettable, but it isn’t inevitable. Some organisations are now looking for alternatives to a single-minded focus on transferring services online. They’re not completely removing call centre or client support staff, but instead using digital technology to improve <a href="https://deloitte.wsj.com/articles/at-contact-energy-digital-powers-human-centric-cx-01643821371" target="_blank" rel="noopener">human-centred service delivery</a>. Other organisations are considering partnerships with intermediaries who can work with individuals who find engaging with digital services difficult. The Ministry of Health, for example, is supporting a community-based Māori health and social services provider to establish a <a href="https://www.health.govt.nz/our-work/digital-health/digital-enablement/digital-enablement-stories/digital-health-hub-supports-taranaki-whanau-access-services-closer-home" target="_blank" rel="noopener">digital health hub</a> to improve local access to health care. Our research is continuing, but we can already see evidence – from the CAB itself and other large organisations – of the benefits of moving away from an uncritical focus on digital transformation. By doing so, the goal is to move beyond a divide between those who are digitally included and excluded, and instead to encourage social inclusion in the digital age. That way, organisations can still move forward technologically – but not at the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jun/23/the-guardian-view-on-digital-exclusion-online-must-not-be-the-only-option">expense of the humans</a> they serve.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/186905/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/angsana-a-techatassanasoontorn-1292067" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Angsana A. Techatassanasoontorn</a>, Associate Professor of Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Auckland University of Technology</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/antonio-diaz-andrade-1361842" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Antonio Diaz Andrade</a>, Professor of Business Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Auckland University of Technology</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bill-doolin-1361879" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bill Doolin</a>, Professor of Technology and Organisation, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Auckland University of Technology</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/harminder-singh-1361833" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Harminder Singh</a>, Associate Professor of Business Information Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Auckland University of Technology</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-downside-of-digital-transformation-why-organisations-must-allow-for-those-who-cant-or-wont-move-online-186905" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Technology

Lip reader reveals insight into THOSE scenes between Kate and Louis

Prince Louis’ adorable antics certainly stole the show at the Platinum Jubilee, however, it seems not everyone was fond of his behaviour. A lip reader captured a serious parenting moment between the Duchess of Cambridge and young Louis, as the family were sitting in the royal box on the final day of celebrations. The Cambridges were enjoying the colourful floats at the pageant and Louis was seen pulling faces and getting tired and restless. According to lip reading expert Jeremy Freeman, Kate had some stern words for her youngest during his grumpy moment. Jeremy says when Kate spotted Louis picking his nose and put his hand down, she said to her son: "You have to." "I don't want to," Louis reportedly answered, before cheekily covering his mum's mouth. Kate then replied: "I said no hands!" and gave him another serious look. The lip reader says Kate once again told Louis to stop with his antics after he stuck his tongue out. "Stop doing that," she said. A sweet moment between Prince Louis and his older cousin Mike Tindall was also caught on camera. While Louis was misbehaving, Mike was seen jokingly warning the young Royal that he was watching him from the seats above, gesturing to his eyes. There were other moments when Louis sat in the lap of dad Prince William and granddad Prince Charles. The Prince of Wales was seen bopping his grandson with his legs and also pointed out parts of the display to him. Prince Louis was also spotted having a great time dancing along to the music as the floats went by. Kate's relatable parenting moment captured the hearts of millions as they watched the Cambridges enjoy the Jubilee carnival. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge made light of Louis' cheeky behaviour in an Instagram, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/kate-and-will-respond-to-haters-with-unseen-snap-of-louis" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sharing ten unseen photos from the Jubilee celebrations</a>. Freeman also caught a precious exchange between the Queen, and her great-grandson during their balcony appearance at Trooping the Colour. Reportedly, Prince Louis looked up to his great-grandmother and asked: "Are the Red Arrows coming?" The Queen replied, "I hope so." At one point, the Queen told Louis to "look at the smoke". The young royal also expressed amazement at the Armed Forces jets, turning to his mother and saying: "Woah." At the end of the display, the monarch told her great-grandson: "Let's go, it's finished now." Body language expert Judi James told the publication that the monarch and Prince Louis shared "childlike excitement" on the balcony. She explained: "Louis stepped in front of the Queen before tilting his head back to engage her in some animated conversation as they waited for the Red Arrows. "Louis made this conversation look like the most natural thing in the world and his lack of anything bordering on fear suggested these two might share a rather close friendship based on shared fun behind the scenes, too." Image: Getty

Family & Pets

Stroke, cancer and other chronic diseases more likely for those with poor mental health

<a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports-statistics/health-welfare-services/mental-health-services/overview">Four million Australians</a>, including our friends, family members, co-workers and neighbours, are living with mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression. A <a href="https://www.vu.edu.au/australian-health-policy-collaboration/publications#chronic-diseases">new report out today</a> from the <a href="https://www.vu.edu.au/australian-health-policy-collaboration">Australian Health Policy Collaboration</a> has found these four million Australians are at much greater risk of chronic physical disease and much greater risk of early death. Having a mental health condition increases the risk of every major chronic disease. Heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, back pain, diabetes, asthma, bronchitis, emphysema and cancer are all much more likely to occur among people with anxiety and depression. More than 2.4 million people have both a mental and at least one physical health condition. For the first time in Australia, this report quantifies the extent of this problem. For example, people with mental health conditions are more likely to have a circulatory system disease (that is, heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke). The likelihood increases by 52% for men, and 41% for women. More than a million people are affected by both a circulatory system disease and a mental health condition. These diseases are Australia’s biggest killers. For painful, debilitating conditions such as arthritis and back pain, the numbers are even higher. Arthritis is 66% more likely for men with mental health conditions, and 46% more likely for women, with 959,000 people affected. Back pain is 74% more likely for men with mental health conditions, and 68% more likely for women, with more than a million affected. The gender differences are significant. Women with mental health conditions are much more likely to have asthma than women across Australia as a whole (70% more likely), while men are 49% more likely to have asthma with a mental health condition. The biggest gender difference is cancer. Men with mental health conditions are 84% more likely to have cancer than the general population, and for women the figure is 20%. As more women live with mental health conditions than men, overall, women are 23% more likely to be living with both a mental and physical health condition than men. The report shows having a co-existing mental health condition and chronic physical disease generally results in worse quality of life, greater functional decline, needing to use more health care and higher healthcare costs. These people require more treatment, use more medications, and have to spend more time, energy and money managing their health. People with a mental health condition are also <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(12)60240-2/abstract">more likely to be poorer</a>, less likely to work, less likely to receive health screening and, sadly, <a href="https://www.rethink.org/media/810988/Rethink%20Mental%20Illness%20-%20Lethal%20Discrimination.pdf">more likely to receive substandard care</a> for their physical diseases. On average, people with mental health conditions die younger than the general population, and mostly from preventable conditions. We know from <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/346/bmj.f2539">earlier research</a>that people with severe mental illnesses die much earlier than the rest of the population. Our report shows even common mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression contribute to more chronic disease, leading to higher rates of early death. <h2>Why?</h2> We don’t know exactly why people with mental health conditions have poorer physical health. The <a href="https://acmedsci.ac.uk/policy/policy-projects/multimorbidity">Academy of Medical Sciences</a> has identified that poor mental health and psychosocial risk factors such as feeling dissatisfied with life, not feeling calm, having sleep problems that affect work, and financial concerns can predict physical disease. Other factors, such as <a href="https://theconversation.com/low-income-earners-are-more-likely-to-die-early-from-preventable-diseases-87676">low socioeconomic status</a>, poor social networks, living in rural areas and smoking are associated with both poor mental health and poor physical health. We do know people with mental health conditions often don’t receive advice about healthy lifestyles, don’t get common tests for disease, and are less likely to receive treatment for disease. Some of this is due to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21379357">stigma and discrimination</a>, and sometimes it’s neglect. People with mental health conditions can <a href="https://www.ranzcp.org/Files/Publications/RANZCP-Serious-Mental-Illness.aspx">fall through the gaps between disjointed physical and mental health systems</a>. <h2>What can we do about it?</h2> There is <a href="https://www.ranzcp.org/Files/Publications/RANZCP-Keeping-body-and-mind-together.aspx">momentum for change</a> among the mental health sector, with dozens of organisations signing up to the <a href="https://equallywell.org.au/">Equally Well</a> consensus statement. This aims to improve the quality of life of people living with mental illness by providing equal access to quality health care. There’s some great work being done around the country, including in the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/inm.12459">Hunter region</a>, where people with mental health conditions can access tailored help with physical health risk factors such as smoking and diet. People using mental health services should have their physical health regularly assessed, and any problems addressed as early as possible. Better coordination of care would preserve healthcare resources and improve quality of life. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/stroke-cancer-and-other-chronic-diseases-more-likely-for-those-with-poor-mental-health-100955" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Mind

"Those are the rules": Kelly Slater barred from Australia

Surfing legend Kelly Slater has been told he will not be able to enter Australia without a Covid-19 vaccination. The 11-time world champion has previously refused to disclose his vaccination status and spoken out about his exasperation about making the jab mandatory, but assured fans he's not anti-vax. He has, however, publicly defended American podcast host Joe Rogan over dishing out dangerous health advice, and more recently blasted the Australian government over the decision to deport Novak Djokovic. After Novak's highly publicised deportation last week, Slater took to social media to say, "maybe Stockholm Syndrome can now change its name to Melbourne/Australia syndrome", and "so much brainwashed hatred in people's hearts regardless of vax status". After receiving backlash over his views, the surfing champ deleted the posts. Despite his opinions, Slater now faces the same fate as Novak Djokovic, as he risks being barred from entering the country if he continues to refuse to disclose his vaccination status, unless he proves he is eligible for a legitimate exemption. Slater is planning to enter Australia for the upcoming World Surf League championship events, which will take place in Victoria in April, before another event in Western Australia. Federal Sports Minister Richard Colbeck said Slater "has no chance of getting into the country" if he is not vaccinated. "I reckon he knows the rules. It doesn't matter whether you're a surfer, or a tennis player, a tourist or anyone else, those are the rules. They apply to everyone," Colbeck said. "I don't like the chances of him competing in Victoria, and I'd hate to think of what the chances were of him competing in Western Australia." Image credits: Getty Images

Travel Trouble

New study offers hope to those with motor neurone disease

Motor neurone disease, also called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), is a rare condition that slowly kills off nerve cells in the brain and spine, leading to paralysis and eventually death. Though currently incurable, <a rel="noopener" href="https://academic.oup.com/braincomms/article/3/3/fcab166/6340444" target="_blank">a new study</a> may have brought us closer to finding one. Scientists have taken lab samples of one form of ALS and been able to reverse one of the hallmark biological abnormalities the disease introduces in cells. Although this is yet to be applied in other forms of the disease or in human beings, the finding represents a large step forward in understanding how ALS could be combatted, providing some hope that the disease could one day be beaten. What the study found The researchers found that three RNA binding proteins, which help regulate RNA, get stuck in the wrong place for most people with ALS. Instead of staying in the motor neuron nucleus, they end up in the surrounding cytoplasm. The team then found that blocking a particular enzyme, called VCP, was able to reverse this in their human cell samples and return the distribution of RNA binding proteins in the nucleus and cytoplasm back to normal. According to the scientists, this suggests that this enzyme becomes mutated and overactive in some cases of ALS. “Demonstrating proof-of-concept for how a chemical can reverse one of the key hallmarks of ALS is incredibly exciting,” said Jasmine Harley, a neuroscientist from the Francis Crick Institute in the UK. “We showed this worked on three key RNA binding proteins, which is important as it suggests it could work on other disease phenotypes too.” The drug they used to inhibit the enzyme is also being tested in cancer trials, which could speed up its development and availability if it is found to help cancer patients and ALS patients. In a second study, published in the journal <a rel="noopener" href="https://academic.oup.com/brain/advance-article/doi/10.1093/brain/awab078/6164957" target="_blank">Brain</a>, the same researchers found over 100 types of RNA fragments, called intron-retaining transcripts, which can also move from the nucleus of cells into the cytoplasm in ALS cases. The researchers found that these fragments have sequences that bind to the RNA binding proteins, and they suspect these sequences are drawing the proteins out of the nucleus and into the cytoplasm. <img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="/nothing.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1f84fdb6755a48e884e50245585f3db4" /><img style="width: 500px; height: 433.3333333333333px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7843072/gettyimages-1129371731.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1f84fdb6755a48e884e50245585f3db4" /> Image: Getty Images “To imagine what’s going on here we can consider watching a movie at the cinema,” neuroscientist Jacob Neeves explained. “Typically, we don’t expect to see adverts throughout the film, but, if something goes wrong these ads might start cropping up at odd and unexpected points. These retained introns are a little bit like these abnormal ad breaks.” Why this matters Though only 1-2 percent of ALS cases have the mutated enzyme the scientists found in the first study, both pieces of research add to our understanding of motor neurone disease. This additional information offers new hope that scientists could eventually figure out how to undo some of the damage that the disease causes to the brain and nervous system. “More research is needed to investigate this further,” Harley said. “We need to see if this might reverse other pathological hallmarks of ALS and also, in other ALS disease models.”

Mind

How to stay calm and manage those family tensions during the coronavirus lockdown

The coronavirus restrictions are <a href="https://theconversation.com/as-restrictions-ease-here-are-5-crucial-ways-for-australia-to-stay-safely-on-top-of-covid-19-138000">slowly being eased</a> but the pressures on families at home still probably lead to many tears of frustration. It could be tensions about noise and clutter, keeping up with home schooling and mums and dads torn between parenting and their own work duties. So to make sure our memories of being locked in with our families are as positive as possible, here are some evidence-based tips for calming down, preventing conflict and dealing with any sibling rivalry. Take a deep breath If you feel yourself getting angry at something, breathe in while counting to three. Then breathe out slowly counting to six (or any patterns with a slower out breath). If you do this ten times you should notice yourself <a href="https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0005796710001324" title="Differential effects of mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and loving-kindness meditation on decentering and negative reactions to repetitive thoughts">becoming calmer</a>. If you’re too agitated to breathe slowly, put your <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019745561300124X" title="The impact of breathing and music on stress levels of clients and visitors in a psychiatric emergency room">hands on your heart</a> and simply wait until you feel more relaxed. Try counting to ten or 100 <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02699931.2011.579088" title="Counting to ten milliseconds: Low-anger, but not high-anger, individuals pause following negative evaluations">before you react</a>. Leave the room and take a break. Plan to deal with the niggle another time. When you’re on break, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103107000078" title="Take a break! or not? The impact of mindsets during breaks on negotiation processes and outcomes">do something to distract yourself</a> like make a drink, listen to music, look at a beautiful picture or play a video game that is absorbing. Call a <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15374416.2010.517160" title="Parent–Child Relationships and Dyadic Friendship Experiences as Predictors of Behavior Problems in Early Adolescence">friend</a> or <a href="https://au.reachout.com/urgent-help">professional helpline</a> to help you get another perspective, especially if you feel scared or hurt. Different strategies work for different people, so try them all. Encourage your kids to keep trying if they don’t initially succeed. You need to practise any skill to make it feel natural. For <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0300443940970112" title="Encouraging the development of responsible anger management in young children">younger children</a>, taking a break may be <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/42900065" title="Encouraging the development of responsible anger management in young children">simpler</a> to master. Ease the tension before things blow It’s good to calm down from explosions but it’s even better if you can reduce the build-up in the first place. Take time to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21642850.2016.1228458" title="A structural equation model of conflict-affected youth coping and resilience">share some of the problems</a> upsetting people and see if as family you can negotiate a solution. It’s likely everyone in your family is more tense because of the COVID-19 crisis. Many aspects can’t be easily fixed, like lost work or money stress, but others can, such as creating new routines or sharing space, resources or chores. Work out different ways to get exercise indoors, like games or apps. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1529100618821893" title="Beyond Willpower: Strategies for Reducing Failures of Self-Control">Plan ahead</a> for the times that need extra care, like when people are tired, or if difficult tasks need finishing. Let others know what to expect. And importantly, <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1998.tb01217.x" title="Resilience and Thriving: Issues, Models, and Linkages">lower expectations</a> for everyone. What used to be easy might now be hard, and that’s okay. Control the emotions Help everyone work on <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/per.1993" title="Explaining the Link Between Personality and Relationship Satisfaction: Emotion Regulation and Interpersonal Behaviour in Conflict Discussions">managing their emotions</a>. Just because you are experiencing extra distress doesn’t mean you should snap at your loved ones. You need to grow your <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12888-014-0227-6" title="Building resilience for future adversity: a systematic review of interventions in non-clinical samples of adults">toolkit</a> of things that make you feel calmer and happier when you’re under pressure. It could be spending time talking about what is going right and what is okay, working with your hands, meditation or prayer, time with your partner, reading or learning something new. Every day, take time do something from your toolkit to chill out. Talk to each other When the tension is lower, quiet family conversations can help by <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022096514002215" title="Parenting predictors of cognitive skills and emotion knowledge in socioeconomically disadvantaged preschoolers">naming any stresses</a>. Naming things like “this is a stressful time” or “I’m a bit grumpy about work today” helps children process emotions. It’s important to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0033294116646159" title="Effects of Active Listening, Reformulation, and Imitation on Mediator Success: Preliminary Results">actively listen</a> to others and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2000-05084-011.html" title="The Triple P-Positive Parenting Program: A comparison of enhanced, standard, and self-directed behavioral family intervention for parents of children with early onset conduct problems">celebrate strengths</a>. Listening and repeating back what others say makes people feel heard, and so does acknowledging shared feelings (“I miss my friends too”). When parents calmly talk about how some things cannot be easily changed, it <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4614-3917-2_5" title="Community-Based Practice Applications of a Family Resilience Framework">builds acceptance</a>. Over time, the most powerful thing to prevent explosions is to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2014.07.001" title="Peeking into the black box: Mechanisms of action for anger management treatment">notice when anger is building</a> so you can deal with it before things escalate. It’s useful to reflect on <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-08103-013" title="Cognitive behavioural interventions for anger, aggression and violence">questions</a> such as “Will this matter in 20 years?” and “Am I taking this too personally?” You can help children by exploring <a href="https://www.pediatricnursing.org/article/S0882-5963(03)00083-6/fulltext" title="Communication approaches to parent-child conflict: young adolescence to young adult">what might really be bothering</a> them. That argument about a toy might be about feeling sad. Try to listen for the deeper message, so they feel understood. Calm that sibling rivalry If sibling rivalry is driving you to distraction, the good news is <a href="https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/sibling-rivalry/coping-sibling-rivalry/" title="COPING WITH SIBLING RIVALRY">it does not</a> mean there is something wrong. Low-level sibling bickering is common during times of tension and boredom. But you should <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00746.x" title="Step In or Stay Out? Parents' Roles in Adolescent Siblings' Relationships">step in</a> when the volume goes up with nasty name-calling or physical contact. Acknowledge emotions, help the kids express what they feel and encourage empathy. Try to help them decide what’s fair, instead of imposing your view. More serious incidents require you to stop the interaction. If there is harm, separate the kids, care for the hurt child and consider a consequence. Use time-outs to calm things down, not for punishment. But like all conflict, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149718912000651" title="Enhancing sibling relationships to prevent adolescent problem behaviors: Theory, design and feasibility of Siblings Are Special">prevention</a> is better than punishment. Does one child need more attention, exercise, stimulation or structure? Do certain toys need to be put away, or shared? Depending on the age of your children, you can help older kids to learn to react gently to provocation. Praise children when they take steps to manage their stress. Remember, these are stressful times for many families around the world. If we can use this time to stay patient, manage tension and act with goodwill towards our loved ones, our families will be better equipped to weather COVID-19, and many other storms that will follow. This article was co-written with help from Tori Cooke at <a href="https://www.ntv.org.au/">No To Violence</a>, Peter Streker at <a href="http://communitystars.com.au/">Community Stars</a>, Carmel O’Brien at <a href="https://www.psychrespect.com/">PsychRespect</a>, and the University of Queensland’s students Ruby Green and Kiara Minto.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/137166/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/winnifred-louis-3612">Winnifred Louis</a>, Professor, Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tom-denson-122725">Tom Denson</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-1414">UNSW</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-stay-calm-and-manage-those-family-tensions-during-the-coronavirus-lockdown-137166">original article</a>.

Relationships

“We’ll hold those responsible accountable”: US claims virus came from Wuhan lab

The US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has claimed there was “enormous evidence” the new coronavirus originated in a Chinese laboratory, but did not provide any of the alleged evidence. Pompeo, a former director of the Central Intelligence Agency, said on Sunday there was “enormous” and “significant” evidence that the coronavirus outbreak began in a laboratory in Wuhan, China. “I think the whole world can see now, remember, China has a history of infecting the world and running substandard laboratories,” Pompeo told ABC’s This Week. “President Trump is very clear: we’ll hold those responsible accountable.” At first, Pompeo said he believed “the best experts so far seem to think it was man-made”. But he later said he agreed with the “wide scientific consensus” from the US intelligence community that “the COVID-19 virus was not man-made or genetically modified”. Pompeo’s statement indicated an escalation in rhetoric amid the country’s tensions with China. US President Donald Trump made a similar unsupported claim on Thursday, saying that <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/30/donald-trump-coronavirus-chinese-lab-claim">he had proof the pandemic started in a Chinese laboratory</a>. On the same day, Pompeo said in an interview: “We don’t know if it came from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. We don’t know if it emanated from the wet market or yet some other place. We don’t know those answers.” Most epidemiologists believe the virus was likely introduced from bats to humans through an intermediary animal. The US had confirmed more than 1.15 million coronavirus cases and 67,000 deaths as of Monday, according to Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Centre. Trump has faced widespread criticism for having overseen a “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/14/us/politics/coronavirus-trump-who-funding.html">slow and ineffective</a>“ response to the pandemic as states and cities continue to appeal for more federal help in <a href="https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2020/5/3/21245815/larry-kudlow-cnn-jake-tapper-state-of-the-union-coronavirus-stimulus">increasing testing capacity and propping up the economy</a>.

News

Vets implore those living in bushfire areas to consider their pets safety

Australia’s national vet association are appealing for pet owners to consider their pets’ safety and wellbeing this bushfire season. “People living in bushfire zones will have planned ahead and be prepared for such emergencies, but we can’t stress enough how critical it is that pets are also included in any emergency plans,” said Dr Julia Crawford, President of the Australian Veterinary Association (AVA). Dr Crawford also urged pet owners to ensure that they take the necessary steps to look after their animals in extreme heat. “It's crucial to remember that our pets can't perspire in the way humans do and produce only a tiny amount of sweat through their footpads. They cool themselves down by panting, but sometimes this isn't enough, and they start to overheat.” Heat stress can occur rapidly, and signs can include noisy panting, seizures, drooling and collapse. “Heat stress can kill your pet, it is an emergency in itself, so it is critical to know the signs and get your pet to a vet as soon as possible,” said Dr Crawford. “This might not always be possible during a bushfire, so it is equally essential that you know how to assist your pet until you can get to a vet”. “Place your pet in front of an air conditioner or a fan and put wet towels on the hairless parts of their body, such as footpads and the groin, to help them cool down, and ensure they have access to plenty of cool fresh water.” The AVA recommends an emergency kit for pets ahead of time in case evacuation becomes necessary, which includes non-perishable food and water in spill-proof containers. “If it starts to look likely that evacuation may be necessary, try to confine your pets to the safest enclosed room of the house, such as the bathroom, where they can be quickly collected. Make sure you also have your pet’s carry cages and leads on hand, so you don’t have to search for these if the decision is made to leave” said Dr Crawford.

Family & Pets

Those at risk during bushfires might lose signal when they need it

Yesterday, New South Wales and Queensland issued fire warnings classified as either “catastrophic”, “severe” or “extreme” - and these conditions will <a href="https://www.ruralfire.qld.gov.au/Pages/FDR.aspx">remain</a> in the coming days. Areas under threat include the greater Sydney area, northern New South Wales, the Northern Goldfields, and the Central Highlands. The declared state of emergency means human life is <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-12/nsw-bushfires-burn-amid-catastrophic-conditions-as-it-happened/11694646">at great risk</a>. Those at risk should evacuate ahead of <a href="https://www.rfs.nsw.gov.au/news-and-media/general-news/dangerous-fire-conditions">time</a>, as mobile phone services may not be <a href="https://www.optus.com.au/about/media-centre/media-releases/2019/11/optus-update-tuesday-12-november-bushfires-network-update-plus-disaster-assistance-support-activated-mid-north-coast1">reliable</a> when needed the most. Service outages People in dangerous bushfire situations often have the added burden of service outages. This can happen following fire damage to infrastructure (such as signal towers) that connects base stations that relay communications within the <a href="https://www.worldcat.org/title/understanding-telecommunications-networks/oclc/1004191902">network</a>. A break in this connection means no signal, or weak signal, for those on the ground. Generally, radio waves used for mobile communication behave differently as <a href="https://www.eetimes.com/document.asp?doc_id=1276321">they travel</a>, based on various factors that affect signal strength. One factor is land geography, such as the height of hills. The signal may not be able to penetrate sand hills. Gum trees may also reflect, obstruct and absorb radio signals. The scenarios described above can be made worse by fire environments, based on the <a href="https://www.rfs.nsw.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0003/8967/5.1.3-Communication-Systems.pdf">frequencies</a> used. Flames can produce “plasma”, which reacts with the surrounding magnetic field, and this degrades signal strength. Rural fire service operations may use frequencies in the 400-450MHz range to communicate, but these signals are weakened during fire, in which case they may use frequencies in the 100-180MHz range. At this wavelength, signal strength doesn’t degrade as badly and can sustain better <a href="https://digital.library.adelaide.edu.au/dspace/bitstream/2440/58684/8/02whole.pdf">communication</a>. Being <a href="https://mobilenetworkguide.com.au/pdf/Mobile-Network-Guide-Improving-Mobile-Signal.pdf">far away from a mobile phone tower</a>, often in rural areas, also results in degraded communication. Rural areas don’t receive as much coverage because installing cell towers in these areas is not particularly profitable, and towers are built based on revenue estimates. There is little incentive to build networks with additional capacity in rural areas. Get out while you can In bushfire situations, it’s crucial to leave affected areas early to avoid becoming stuck in <a href="https://www.communications.gov.au/what-we-do/phone/mobile-services-and-coverage/mobile-black-spot-program">mobile black spots</a>. These are regional and remote areas that have been identified as not having mobile phone <a href="https://www.communications.gov.au/what-we-do/phone/mobile-services-and-coverage/mobile-black-spot-program">coverage</a>. Some mobile black spots where fire danger warnings have been issued include Mount Seaview and Yarras, not far from the Oxley Highway in NSW. The status of the fires there was reported “out of control” <a href="https://www.rfs.nsw.gov.au/fire-information/fires-near-me">on Tuesday morning</a>. Optus is planning to <a href="https://www.optus.com.au/shop/mobile/network/mobile-black-spot-program">roll out macrocells</a> at these locations to expand coverage between the end of this year and the middle of next year. These are base stations that cover a wide area and are typically deployed in rural regions or along highways. Until the macrocells are deployed, people living in mobile black spots, or who may be forced to pass through these areas due to fire, continue to be at risk. When passing through a fire-affected black spot, you are virtually <a href="https://www.communications.gov.au/what-we-do/phone/mobile-services-and-coverage/mobile-phone-towers">unreachable</a>. Also, although the mobile black spot program will help to increase 4G coverage in rural areas, most rural areas, including many at high risk of bushfires, rely largely on 3G. When people need extra data capacity during emergencies, the network is incapable of handling the increased traffic load, as every device is trying to connect and download data at the minimum 3G capacity of 550Kbps. Network overload The network gets congested at times of catastrophe due to the high volume of mobile phone traffic experienced, which exceeds the available network capacity. The mobile network in Billy’s Creek in NSW, and the areas connected to it, experienced an outage <a href="https://www.optus.com.au/about/media-centre/media-releases/2019/11/optus-update-tuesday-12-november-bushfires-network-update-plus-disaster-assistance-support-activated-mid-north-coast1">yesterday</a>. Telstra’s services have also been <a href="https://exchange.telstra.com.au/providing-bushfire-relief-to-our-customers-affected-in-new-south-wales/">affected</a>. As of Monday, people in Billy’s Creek, Yarras and Nimbin (among other locations) were unable to send or receive messages, make calls or access the internet, and may not have been up to date with the latest fire information, unless through radio or television. During bushfires last year, for every three calls attempted under Telstra’s network, one was eventually <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-20/mobile-phone-blackspots-put-lives-at-risk-during-fires/9566338">answered</a>. Everyone trying to call at once is referred to as a “mass call event”. This creates “congestive collapse” in parts of the internet-based network, blocking new connections from being made. During congestion, the performance of the network decreases because the internet packets that carry the calls or messages are dropped, or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1550147719829960">delayed</a>, before they reach their destination. One solution is for operators to have signal boosters installed for the affected part of the network. There’s an app for that, if you have good connection In the same way, the “Fires Near Me Australia” <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.gov.nsw.rfs.firesnearme.national&hl=en">web application</a> is likely to suffer from internet packet deliveries being delayed. The app may be overwhelmed if too many people try to access it at once, and may crash. In such scenarios, people should reboot their phones and keep trying to connect. Some people have made complaints of not being able to download the app, and others of the app crashing, because their phone’s model was not new enough to support it. If the fires spread to densely populated areas, available 4G capacities may be exhausted by the sheer volume of the traffic. And congestion is made worse by more incoming traffic from across the country, from concerned family and friends. Preventative measures may no longer be an option for many. But in the future, people in fire-prone areas may benefit from buying a personal 4G or 3G mobile signal booster ahead of time. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stanley-shanapinda-610761">Stanley Shanapinda</a>, Research Fellow, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/as-flames-encroach-those-at-risk-may-lose-phone-signal-when-they-need-it-most-126827">original article</a>.

Technology

“I don’t have one of those!”: Kmart slow cooker fine print reveals hilarious X-rated typo

In a world of social media, something that potentially could’ve gone unnoticed can be immediately shared with thousands around the globe. And that is exactly what happened to homewares giant Kmart as an Australian woman discovered an X-rated typo on her slow cooker purchased from the discount department store. The Newcastle shopper shared the mistake in a Facebook group called Kmart Hacks and Décor and asked the members to point out the unfortunate mistake. <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fsandie.swain%2Fposts%2F10156235421561594&width=500" width="500" height="620" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> The woman shared the appliance’s warning instructions that say “c**k only in this container instead of “cook”. The post garnered a large reaction and many members of the group shared their puns. "It's a C*ckpot," one person joked. "What a c*ck up," another commented. “That is hilarious. Just checked mine, says the same thing too. Can’t wait to give the other half the instructions!!!” the woman said. “Does this mean the meat will fall off the bone(r)?” another joked, adding to the long list of puns. Kmart was quick to address the incident in a statement to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7335503/Newcastle-mum-shocked-finding-X-rated-typo-slower-cooker.html" target="_blank">The Daily Mail Australia</a> saying that they were sorry for the mistake. “We sincerely apologise for this error and the team have ensured this does not occur on future ranges,” the discount department store said.

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Vets implore those living in bushfire areas to consider their pets safety

Those at risk during bushfires might lose signal when they need it

“I don’t have one of those!”: Kmart slow cooker fine print reveals hilarious X-rated typo

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Catalogues

Travel

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Lifestyle

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6 ways to be more supportive to those closest to you

How to leave a legacy to look after those you love

Calling drag queens ‘groomers’ and ‘pedophiles’ is the latest in a long history of weaponising those terms against the LGBTIQA community

A Mother’s Day poem for those who have lost their mums

There’s a growing gap between countries advancing LGBTQ+ rights, and those going backwards

3 great travel tips from those with experience

What Australia learned from recent devastating floods – and how New Zealand can apply those lessons now

"Those Spencer eyes": Princess Di's brother shares rare 120-year-old family photo

Top 10 spooky stays for those Halloween weekend road trips

Olivia Newton-John gave a voice to those with cancer and shifted the focus to the life of survivors

The downside of digital transformation: why organisations must allow for those who can’t or won’t move online

Lip reader reveals insight into THOSE scenes between Kate and Louis

Stroke, cancer and other chronic diseases more likely for those with poor mental health

"Those are the rules": Kelly Slater barred from Australia

New study offers hope to those with motor neurone disease

How to stay calm and manage those family tensions during the coronavirus lockdown

“We’ll hold those responsible accountable”: US claims virus came from Wuhan lab

Vets implore those living in bushfire areas to consider their pets safety

Those at risk during bushfires might lose signal when they need it

“I don’t have one of those!”: Kmart slow cooker fine print reveals hilarious X-rated typo

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