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Fear of ageing is really a fear of the unknown – and modern society is making things worse

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chao-fang-1010933">Chao Fang</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-liverpool-1198">University of Liverpool</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alastair-comery-1501915">Alastair Comery</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-bath-1325">University of Bath</a></em></p> <p>For the first time in human history, we have entered an era in which reaching old age is taken for granted. Unlike in ages past, when living to an older age was a luxury afforded mainly to the privileged, globally around <a href="https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.DYN.TO65.FE.ZS?locations=1W">79% of women</a> and <a href="https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.DYN.TO65.MA.ZS?locations=1W">70% of men</a> can expect to reach the age of 65 and beyond.</p> <p>Despite longer life expectancy, many people in the contemporary west see growing old as undesirable and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/apr/02/ageing-and-the-mortality-alarm-i-started-panicking-about-future-me">even scary</a>. Research shows, however, that anxiety about ageing may in fact be <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0164027500225004">fear of the unknown</a>.</p> <p>Society’s <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/199409/learning-love-growing-old">focus on youthfulness</a> and <a href="https://www.apa.org/ed/precollege/psychology-teacher-network/introductory-psychology/ableism-negative-reactions-disability">capability</a> can cause anxiety about becoming weak and unwanted. Adverts for anti-ageing products <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-20th-century-rejuvenation-techniques-gave-rise-to-the-modern-anti-ageing-industry-133569">are everywhere</a>, reinforcing the idea that growing older is inherently unattractive.</p> <p>Some people fear ageing so much that it becomes a pathological condition <a href="https://mind.help/topic/gerascophobia/">called gerascophobia</a>, leading to irrational thoughts and behaviour, for example, a fixation on health, illness and mortality and a preoccupation with hiding the signs of ageing.</p> <p>We frequently hear about attempts to reverse ageing, often by the super rich. For example, <a href="https://fortune.com/well/2023/01/26/bryan-johnson-extreme-anti-aging/">Bryan Johnson</a>, a 45-year-old American entrepreneur, is spending millions of dollars a year to obtain the physical age of 18.</p> <p>While the desire to reverse ageing is not a new phenomenon, advancements in biomedicine have brought it closer.</p> <p>Work published by genetics professor <a href="https://lifespanbook.com/">David Sinclair</a> at Harvard University in 2019 suggests that it may be possible to challenge the limits of cell reproduction to extend our lifespan, for example. His <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s43587-023-00527-6">information theory of ageing</a> argues that <a href="https://epigeneticsandchromatin.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1756-8935-6-3">reprogramming DNA</a> can improve damaged and old tissues, and delay or even reverse ageing. However, these new possibilities can also heighten our fear of ageing.</p> <h2>From the unproductive to undervalued</h2> <p>People haven’t always dreaded growing older. In many societies, older people used to be widely regarded as wise and important – and in some they still are.</p> <p>In ancient China, there was a <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/605890">culture</a> of respecting and seeking advice from older family members. There is still an ethos of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6363941/">filial piety</a> (showing reverence and care for elders and ancestors) today, even if it’s not as pronounced as it used to be. The same went for <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/ageing-and-society/article/abs/old-age-in-the-dark-ages-the-status-of-old-age-during-the-early-middle-ages/3699DC4100DE852BDA1E1B3BBF33DDBC">medieval Europe</a>, where older people’s experiences and wisdom were highly valued.</p> <p>However, the industrial revolution in the west from the 18th century led to a cultural shift where older people <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1014358415896">became excluded from society</a> and were considered unproductive. People who had surpassed the age to work, alongside those with incurable diseases, were regarded by society as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13607860903228762">“evils”</a> in need of assistance.</p> <p>The treatment of older people has taken a different form since the early 20th century. The introduction of <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/30/business/retirement/why-the-world-needs-to-rethink-retirement.html">universal pension systems</a> made ageing a central concern in welfare systems. But as the demands for social and health care have increased, journalists increasingly portray ageing as a <a href="https://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-news/archive/older-people-feel-a-burden-to-society/">burden</a> on society.</p> <p>Consequently, growing older is often associated with managing the risk of ill health and alleviating the onus of care from younger relatives. This can result in the <a href="https://utpjournals.press/doi/abs/10.3138/utq.90.2.09">institutionalisation</a> of older people in residential facilities that keep them hidden, sequestered from the awareness of younger generations.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0164027500225004">Research</a> analysing the responses of 1,200 US adults from the American Association of Retired Persons’ Images of Ageing survey shows that much of the perceived fear of ageing is closely aligned with the fear of the unknown, rather than the ageing process itself. This fear is only exacerbated by the largely separate lives lived by older and younger generations.</p> <p>The prevalence of nuclear families and the decline of <a href="https://www.cpc.ac.uk/docs/BP45_UnAffordable_housing_and_the_residential_separation_of_age_groups.pdf">traditional mixed-generational communities</a> have deprived younger people of the opportunity to more fully understand the experiences of older people. Plus, the rapid increase in <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/why-its-more-difficult-for-young-people-to-buy-a-house-now-than-it-was-fifty-years-ago-12537254">house prices</a> means many young people cannot afford to live near their older relatives.</p> <p>The separation of older people from children and young people has sparked generational conflicts that seemingly continue to <a href="https://www.economist.com/britain/2017/05/04/britains-generational-divide-has-never-been-wider">grow wider than ever</a>. Older people are frequently portrayed in the media as conservative and privileged, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/jan/12/old-young-gap-britain-generation-dysfunctional-family">making it difficult</a> for younger generations to comprehend why older people act and think the way they do.</p> <h2>Intergenerational interactions</h2> <p>Academics suggest that creating <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2022.996520/full">a system</a> for older and younger generations to interact in everyday settings is vital.</p> <p>A set of three <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5031197/#bjso12146-bib-0004">UK-based studies</a> in 2016 analysed and compared the effects of direct contact, extended contact and interactions between younger (aged 17 to 30) and older people (65 and over). The findings indicated that good quality direct intergenerational contact can improve young people’s attitudes towards older adults (especially when sustained over time).</p> <p>Intergenerational programmes have been adopted globally, including mixed and <a href="https://www.cohousing.org/multigenerational-cohousing/">intergenerational housing</a>, <a href="https://www.nurseryinbelong.org.uk/intergenerational-choir-hits-high-note-at-belong-chester/">community choirs</a> and <a href="https://www.shareable.net/how-sharing-can-bring-japans-elderly-and-youth-together/">senior volunteers reading to young children in nurseries</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10433-018-00497-4">Studies show</a> that these activities can not only enhance the wellbeing of older people but also help younger people gain an appreciation of ageing as a valuable and fulfilling life stage.</p> <p>Getting worried about growing older is normal, just as we experience anxieties in other stages of life, such as adolescence and marriage. But here’s the thing – instead of seeing ageing as a looming figure, it is important to realise it is just a part of life.</p> <p>Once we understand ageing as a regular experience, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/changepower/202106/do-you-have-fogo-taming-the-fear-getting-old">we can let go</a> of these worries and approach the journey through different life stages with a positive attitude and a fortified will to enrich our lives and the lives of those around us.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220925/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chao-fang-1010933"><em>Chao Fang</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Sociology, Deputy Director of the Centre for Ageing and the Life Course, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-liverpool-1198">University of Liverpool</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alastair-comery-1501915">Alastair Comery</a>, PhD Candidate, Sociology, Centre for Death and Society, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-bath-1325">University of Bath</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/fear-of-ageing-is-really-a-fear-of-the-unknown-and-modern-society-is-making-things-worse-220925">original article</a>.</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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The one thing you must do before retirement

<p>When you think about planning for retirement, the standard advice is to take a thorough look at your superannuation and finances. Although money is undoubtedly an important aspect of retirement planning, making a plan for your emotion and physical wellbeing is just as crucial.</p> <p>New research from the UK has found that retirement can have a negative impact on your mental and physical health. The study, published by the Institute of Economic Affairs, looked at the impact of retirement on 7,000 people aged 50 to 70, and found that while retirement gives most people a small health booth, over the medium to long-term it causes a “drastic decline in health”. </p> <p>For both men and women, retirement decreases the likelihood of "very good” or "excellent" self-reported health by 40 per cent, increases risk for depression by 40 per cent, and diagnosis of a physical illness by 60 per cent. The study’s lead author, Gabriel Sahlgren, noted: "Work, especially paid work, gives many people a sense of purpose. Losing that may lead to declines in health."</p> <p>The lesson: Make a plan for your emotional and physical health.</p> <p>“Don't wait until you retire to decide how you're going to keep busy,” Dave Bernard, retirement blogger and author of Are You Just Existing and Calling it a Life?, told Prevention, adding, “And you need to look well beyond the first six months.”</p> <p>Just as it’s necessary to make sure your finances are in order before retirement, it’s crucial to ask yourself: What will my new sense of purpose in retirement be?</p> <p>“Many times, adults might not think about what it actually means to be retired, or they think about retirement in abstract terms,” says Angela Curl, an assistant professor in the University of Missouri School of Social Work.</p> <p>She says you need to make concrete plans for retirement. “If you want to volunteer when you are retired, ask yourself where and how often. Having specific plans and steps to follow will help you enter retirement more easily,” says Curl.</p> <p>Creating a plan of how you’ll spend your time when you retire will keep you mentally and physically strong, ensuring that you’ll be healthy enough to enjoy your well-deserved retirement.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Retirement Life

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Running or yoga can help beat depression, research shows – even if exercise is the last thing you feel like

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-noetel-147460">Michael Noetel</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a></em></p> <p>At least <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.665019/full">one in ten people</a> have depression at some point in their lives, with some estimates <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0749379720301793">closer to one in four</a>. It’s one of the worst things for someone’s wellbeing – worse than <a href="https://www.happinessresearchinstitute.com/_files/ugd/928487_4a99b6e23f014f85b38495b7ab1ac24b.pdf">debt, divorce or diabetes</a>.</p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-so-many-australians-taking-antidepressants-221857">One in seven</a> Australians take antidepressants. Psychologists are in <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-cant-solve-australias-mental-health-emergency-if-we-dont-train-enough-psychologists-here-are-5-fixes-190135">high demand</a>. Still, only <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1003901">half</a> of people with depression in high-income countries get treatment.</p> <p>Our <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847">new research</a> shows that exercise should be considered alongside therapy and antidepressants. It can be just as impactful in treating depression as therapy, but it matters what type of exercise you do and how you do it.</p> <h2>Walk, run, lift, or dance away depression</h2> <p>We found 218 randomised trials on exercise for depression, with 14,170 participants. We analysed them using a method called a network meta-analysis. This allowed us to see how different types of exercise compared, instead of lumping all types together.</p> <p>We found walking, running, strength training, yoga and mixed aerobic exercise were about as effective as <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-37351">cognitive behaviour therapy</a> – one of the <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2018.00004/full">gold-standard treatments</a> for depression. The effects of dancing were also powerful. However, this came from analysing just five studies, mostly involving young women. Other exercise types had more evidence to back them.</p> <p>Walking, running, strength training, yoga and mixed aerobic exercise seemed more effective than antidepressant medication alone, and were about as effective as exercise alongside antidepressants.</p> <p>But of these exercises, people were most likely to stick with strength training and yoga.</p> <p><iframe id="cZaWb" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/cZaWb/2/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Antidepressants certainly help <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/article/S0140-6736(17)32802-7/fulltext">some people</a>. And of course, anyone getting treatment for depression should talk to their doctor <a href="https://australia.cochrane.org/news/new-cochrane-review-explores-latest-evidence-approaches-stopping-long-term-antidepressants">before changing</a> what they are doing.</p> <p>Still, our evidence shows that if you have depression, you should get a psychologist <em>and</em> an exercise plan, whether or not you’re taking antidepressants.</p> <h2>Join a program and go hard (with support)</h2> <p>Before we analysed the data, we thought people with depression might need to “ease into it” with generic advice, <a href="https://www.who.int/initiatives/behealthy/physical-activity">such as</a> “some physical activity is better than doing none.”</p> <p>But we found it was far better to have a clear program that aimed to push you, at least a little. Programs with clear structure worked better, compared with those that gave people lots of freedom. Exercising by yourself might also make it hard to set the bar at the right level, given low self-esteem is a symptom of depression.</p> <p>We also found it didn’t matter how much people exercised, in terms of sessions or minutes a week. It also didn’t really matter how long the exercise program lasted. What mattered was the intensity of the exercise: the higher the intensity, the better the results.</p> <h2>Yes, it’s hard to keep motivated</h2> <p>We should exercise caution in interpreting the findings. Unlike drug trials, participants in exercise trials know which “treatment” they’ve been randomised to receive, so this may skew the results.</p> <p>Many people with depression have physical, psychological or social barriers to participating in formal exercise programs. And getting support to exercise isn’t free.</p> <p>We also still don’t know the best way to stay motivated to exercise, which can be even harder if you have depression.</p> <p>Our study tried to find out whether things like setting exercise goals helped, but we couldn’t get a clear result.</p> <p>Other reviews found it’s important to have a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31923898/">clear action plan</a> (for example, putting exercise in your calendar) and to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19916637/">track your progress</a> (for example, using an app or smartwatch). But predicting which of these interventions work is notoriously difficult.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04128-4">2021 mega-study</a> of more than 60,000 gym-goers <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04128-4/figures/1">found</a> experts struggled to predict which strategies might get people into the gym more often. Even making workouts fun didn’t seem to motivate people. However, listening to audiobooks while exercising helped a lot, which no experts predicted.</p> <p>Still, we can be confident that people benefit from personalised support and accountability. The support helps overcome the hurdles they’re sure to hit. The accountability keeps people going even when their brains are telling them to avoid it.</p> <p>So, when starting out, it seems wise to avoid going it alone. Instead:</p> <ul> <li> <p>join a fitness group or yoga studio</p> </li> <li> <p>get a trainer or an exercise physiologist</p> </li> <li> <p>ask a friend or family member to go for a walk with you.</p> </li> </ul> <p>Taking a few steps towards getting that support makes it more likely you’ll keep exercising.</p> <h2>Let’s make this official</h2> <p>Some countries see exercise as a backup plan for treating depression. For example, the American Psychological Association only <a href="https://www.apa.org/depression-guideline/">conditionally recommends</a> exercise as a “complementary and alternative treatment” when “psychotherapy or pharmacotherapy is either ineffective or unacceptable”.</p> <p>Based on our research, this recommendation is withholding a potent treatment from many people who need it.</p> <p>In contrast, The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists <a href="https://www.ranzcp.org/getmedia/a4678cf4-91f5-4746-99d4-03dc7379ae51/mood-disorders-clinical-practice-guideline-2020.pdf">recommends</a> vigorous aerobic activity at least two to three times a week for all people with depression.</p> <p>Given how common depression is, and the number failing to receive care, other countries should follow suit and recommend exercise alongside front-line treatments for depression.</p> <p><em>I would like to acknowledge my colleagues Taren Sanders, Chris Lonsdale and the rest of the coauthors of the paper on which this article is based.</em></p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223441/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-noetel-147460">Michael Noetel</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/running-or-yoga-can-help-beat-depression-research-shows-even-if-exercise-is-the-last-thing-you-feel-like-223441">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>It’s a shock when we realise our parents aren’t managing well at home.</p> <p>Perhaps the house and garden are looking more chaotic, and Mum or Dad are relying more on snacks than nutritious meals. Maybe their grooming or hygiene has declined markedly, they are socially isolated or not doing the things they used to enjoy. They may be losing weight, have had a fall, aren’t managing their medications correctly, and are at risk of getting scammed.</p> <p>You’re worried and you want them to be safe and healthy. You’ve tried to talk to them about aged care but been met with swift refusal and an indignant declaration “I don’t need help – everything is fine!” Now what?</p> <p>Here are four things to consider.</p> <h2>1. Start with more help at home</h2> <p>Getting help and support at home can help keep Mum or Dad well and comfortable without them needing to move.</p> <p>Consider drawing up a roster of family and friends visiting to help with shopping, cleaning and outings. You can also use home aged care services – or a combination of both.</p> <p>Government subsidised home care services provide from one to 13 hours of care a week. You can get more help if you are a veteran or are able to pay privately. You can take advantage of things like rehabilitation, fall risk-reduction programs, personal alarms, stove automatic switch-offs and other technology aimed at increasing safety.</p> <p>Call <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/">My Aged Care</a> to discuss your options.</p> <h2>2. Be prepared for multiple conversations</h2> <p>Getting Mum or Dad to accept paid help can be tricky. Many families often have multiple conversations around aged care before a decision is made.</p> <p>Ideally, the older person feels supported rather than attacked during these conversations.</p> <p>Some families have a meeting, so everyone is coming together to help. In other families, certain family members or friends might be better placed to have these conversations – perhaps the daughter with the health background, or the auntie or GP who Mum trusts more to provide good advice.</p> <p>Mum or Dad’s main emotional support person should try to maintain their relationship. It’s OK to get someone else (like the GP, the hospital or an adult child) to play “bad cop”, while a different person (such as the older person’s spouse, or a different adult child) plays “good cop”.</p> <h2>3. Understand the options when help at home isn’t enough</h2> <p>If you have maximised home support and it’s not enough, or if the hospital won’t discharge Mum or Dad without extensive supports, then you may be <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/8/1504/5863160">considering a nursing home</a> (also known as residential aged care in Australia).</p> <p>Every person has a legal right to <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/9-your-right-choose-where-you-live">choose where we live</a> (unless they have lost capacity to make that decision).</p> <p>This means families can’t put Mum or Dad into residential aged care against their will. Every person also has the right to choose to take risks. People can choose to continue to live at home, even if it means they might not get help immediately if they fall, or eat poorly. We should respect Mum or Dad’s decisions, even if we disagree with them. Researchers call this “dignity of risk”.</p> <p>It’s important to understand Mum or Dad’s point of view. Listen to them. Try to figure out what they are feeling, and what they are worried might happen (which might not be rational).</p> <p>Try to understand what’s really important to their quality of life. Is it the dog, having privacy in their safe space, seeing grandchildren and friends, or something else?</p> <p>Older people are often understandably concerned about losing independence, losing control, and having strangers in their personal space.</p> <p>Sometimes families prioritise physical health over psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider both when considering nursing home admission.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9826495/">Research</a> suggests going into a nursing home temporarily increases loneliness, risk of depression and anxiety, and sense of losing control.</p> <p>Mum and Dad should be involved in the decision-making process about where they live, and when they might move.</p> <p>Some families start looking “just in case” as it often takes some time to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/questions-to-ask-when-choosing-an-aged-care-home-for-a-loved-one/10302590">find the right nursing home</a> and there can be a wait.</p> <p>After you have your top two or three choices, take Mum or Dad to visit them. If this is not possible, take pictures of the rooms, the public areas in the nursing home, the menu and the activities schedule.</p> <p>We should give Mum or Dad information about their options and risks so they can make informed (and hopefully better) decisions.</p> <p>For instance, if they visit a nursing home and the manager says they can go on outings whenever they want, this might dispel a belief they are “locked up”.</p> <p>Having one or two weeks “respite” in a home may let them try it out before making the big decision about staying permanently. And if they find the place unacceptable, they can try another nursing home instead.</p> <h2>4. Understand the options if a parent has lost capacity to make decisions</h2> <p>If Mum or Dad have lost capacity to choose where they live, family may be able to make that decision in their best interests.</p> <p>If it’s not clear whether a person has capacity to make a particular decision, a medical practitioner can assess for that capacity.</p> <p>Mum or Dad may have appointed an <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/wills/appoint-enduring-guardian/what-enduring-guardian">enduring guardian</a> to make decisions about their health and lifestyle decisions when they are not able to.</p> <p>An enduring guardian can make the decision that the person should live in residential aged care, if the person no longer has the capacity to make that decision themselves.</p> <p>If Mum or Dad didn’t appoint an enduring guardian, and have lost capacity, then a court or tribunal can <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/guardianship/information-about-guardianship">appoint</a> that person a private guardian (usually a family member, close friend or unpaid carer).</p> <p>If no such person is available to act as private guardian, a public official may be appointed as public guardian.</p> <h2>Deal with your own feelings</h2> <p>Families often feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-023-04538-9">guilt and grief</a> during the decision-making and transition process.</p> <p>Families need to act in the best interest of Mum or Dad, but also balance other caring responsibilities, financial priorities and their own wellbeing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221210/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311"><em>Lee-Fay Low</em></a><em>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-handle-it-if-my-parent-is-refusing-aged-care-4-things-to-consider-221210">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Six surprising things about placebos everyone should know

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jeremy-howick-250620">Jeremy Howick</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-leicester-1053">University of Leicester</a></em></p> <p>Placebos have been studied more than any treatment in the history of medicine, yet they remain mysterious.</p> <p>I’ve been studying placebos for 20 years and I’ve done some of the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6288933/">key studies</a> that have <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3655171/">advanced the scientific knowledge</a> in this area. Here are six facts about this strange effect that still fascinate me.</p> <h2>1. Placebos have a dark cousin: nocebos</h2> <p>A 29-year-old builder went to the hospital after having jumped onto a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5471339/">15cm nail</a> that pierced his boot. Moving the nail was so painful he had to be sedated with powerful drugs (fentanyl and midazolam) to remove it. But when he took off his boot, the medics discovered that the nail had gone between his toes. The builder’s pain was caused by the wrong belief that the nail had penetrated his foot.</p> <p>The detrimental effects of negative expectations are called nocebo effects. For evolutionary reasons (survival depends on avoiding danger), nocebo effects are larger than placebo effects.</p> <p>Unfortunately, patients are often told more about the bad things that might happen than the good things, which can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, learning that a drug has a possible side-effect of nausea or pain can actually <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7368797/">cause nausea or pain</a>.</p> <h2>2. Placebos work even if people know they are placebos</h2> <p>Linda Buonanno suffered so badly from irritable bowel syndrome that she often couldn’t <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/22/knew-they-were-sugar-pills-felt-fantastic-rise-open-label-placebos">leave the house</a> for weeks. She signed up for a trial of “honest” (open-label) placebos, which is a placebo that patients know is a placebo.</p> <p>The Harvard doctors in the trial <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3008733/">told her</a> the pills were “placebo pills made of an inert substance, like sugar pills, that have been shown in clinical studies to produce significant improvement in [irritable bowel] symptoms through mind-body self-healing processes”.</p> <p>The honest placebos worked so well that she was able to resume a normal life.</p> <p>Honest placebos have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28452193/">worked in other trials</a> for treating depression, back pain and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).</p> <p>Honest placebos work because of our subconscious expectations. Our past experiences of doctors and hospitals can generate subconscious expectations that activate our body’s inner pharmacy, which produces morphine (endorphins) and other beneficial drugs.</p> <h2>3. Honest placebos are ethically acceptable</h2> <p>It is often considered unethical for doctors to give placebos to patients because this supposedly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11724-014-0400-1">involves lying</a> (telling patients that a sugar pill is a powerful medication). But honest placebos do not involve lying, so there is no ethical barrier.</p> <p>In one <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34805194/#:%7E:text=Introduction%3A%20Open%2Dlabel%20placebos%20have,label%20placebos%20in%20acute%20pain.">ongoing trial</a>, doctors asked patients whether they would be willing to try a mix of real painkillers and honest placebos. Patients in this trial have the same level of pain relief following surgery, but are less likely to become dependent on painkillers.</p> <h2>4. Placebo effects are part of most treatment effects</h2> <p>When a doctor prescribes ibuprofen for back pain, the effects are due to the ibuprofen and the patient’s beliefs and expectations, which can be influenced by the doctor’s communication. Doctors who offer positive messages in a warm, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6047264/">empathic manner</a> will increase the effect of the drugs.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2359128/">size and colour</a> of the pill can also influence the effect. A large, orange pill can reduce pain more than a small, red one.</p> <p>By contrast, blue pills generally have a sedative effect – except for Italian men, for whom blue pills have an <a href="https://www.amherst.edu/system/files/media/1601/moerman_explanatory%20mechanisms%20for%20placebo%20effects.pdf">excitative effect</a>), probably because their revered football team wears blue.</p> <p>Doctors’ ethical duty to benefit patients suggests it is an ethical duty to maximise the placebo effects of all treatments they provide.</p> <h2>5. You don’t need placebos to have placebo effects</h2> <p>In one trial, patients were given morphine <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15488461/">via an intravenous line</a> following surgery. However, only half of the patients were told they were receiving morphine. The patients who were told this had 50% more pain relief than those who were not told they were receiving morphine. This is an example of a placebo effect without a placebo.</p> <h2>6. You can generate placebo (and nocebo) effects in yourself</h2> <p>All communication can have a beneficial or harmful effect. One study found that teaching communication skills to families <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4915212/">reduced anxiety and depression</a>. On the other hand, couples who dwell on problems and negative aspects of their relationships were shown in a study to have <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453022003304?via%3Dihub">weaker immune systems</a>.</p> <p>Acts of altruism, focusing on a brighter future, or gratitude are proven ways to reduce the effect of negative communication. An easy way to generate positive placebo effects for yourself is by performing a <a href="https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness-and-mental-health/random-acts-kindness">random act of kindness</a>, such as making a colleague a cup of tea, or simply smiling and saying hello.</p> <p>You can learn more about the amazing effects of placebos and nocebos in my <a href="https://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title/12830/power-placebos">latest book</a>, The Power of Placebos: How the Science of Placebos and Nocebos can Improve Health Care.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220829/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jeremy-howick-250620"><em>Jeremy Howick</em></a><em>, Professor and Director of the Stoneygate Centre for Excellence in Empathic Healthcare, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-leicester-1053">University of Leicester</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/six-surprising-things-about-placebos-everyone-should-know-220829">original article</a>.</em></p>

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7 things you should never say at a funeral

<p><strong>What not to say at a funeral </strong></p> <p>Struggling to find the right words to convey sympathy at a funeral? Even the most well-intentioned comments can come across as hurtful instead of helpful. Here are some common phrases you should never say at a funeral –and what to say instead.</p> <p><strong>Never say "I know how you feel" at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I can’t imagine how you feel.”</p> <p>By the time we’re adults, most of us will have experienced the loss of a family member, friend or colleague. What’s important to note, however, is that although the phases of grief are similar, we don’t necessarily know how another grieving individual truly feels. “Everyone’s experience is unique,” says Jaime Bickerton, executive director of Bereaved Families of Ontario in Canada. “Everyone’s loss is the worst, because it’s theirs.”</p> <p>It can help to think of yourself in a helper role, says author and grief counsellor, Dr Alan Wolfelt. “Walk ‘with,’ not ‘behind’ or ‘in front of’ the person who is mourning.”</p> <p><strong>"Time heals all wounds" is something you should never say at a funeral </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Take the time you need and be gentle with yourself.”</p> <p>“There’s no formula when it comes to grief,” says Asya Hadzismajlovic, bereavement expert. “It comes in waves.” The grieving process takes time and important dates like anniversaries and birthdays can trigger an emotional tsunami. Allow the bereaved to move through that process at his or her own pace, advises Wolfelt. “Don’t force your timetable for healing. Allow them to experience all the hurt, sorrow and pain he or she is feeling at the time.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “At least he didn’t suffer,” “At least she made it to her birthday,” or “At least she died doing what she loved” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am here for you.”</p> <p>It’s best to avoid any statements that begin with “at least,” notes Bickerton. These sentiments are often an attempt to make dark days more bearable, but they won’t diminish the pain of losing a loved one. What the person grieving really needs is your quiet presence, says Hadzismajlovic. Check in during the day of the funeral and beyond. “People just want to be heard; to be listened to,” she says. “We say that grief shared is grief lessened.”</p> <p><strong>“Let me know what I can do” is something you should never say at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “Here’s what I can do for you…”</p> <p>This comment places the burden on the bereaved to reach out for help at a time when they likely don’t know what they need, explains Bickerton. Running a few loads of their laundry, tidying their house or yard and preparing meals are just a few ways to genuinely show you care as opposed to merely saying you care. “If they have 38 casseroles, make the 39th,” says Wolfelt. “Deliver it in your best dish and say you will be over in a week to pick it up. This provides you with an opportunity to check in.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “She’s in a better place” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “She will be missed.”</p> <p>“Most likely, the person grieving is thinking the best place for [the deceased] to be is with them,” says Bickerton. “There’s also a danger of assuming the person ascribes to certain beliefs, which may not be the case.” Simply show your support for your grieving friend, colleague or family member, advises Wolfelt. “At the funeral, a touch of your hand, a look in your eye or even a hug often communicates more than words can say.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “It was his time” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “I am so sorry for the loss of your precious [person’s name].”</p> <p>“This platitude can be particularly upsetting for the grieving person to hear as it implies a reason for the death when they may be feeling the death was senseless or irrational,” says Bickerton. Even if the loved one lived a long, full life, the person grieving would likely have been wishing for many more years together. When expressing your condolence be sure to say the person’s name, advises Wolfelt. “That way the person grieving knows you are genuinely concerned.”</p> <p><strong>Never say “You need to say goodbye” or “Life must go on” at a funeral</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Instead, say:</em></span> “He will always be remembered for his generosity/love for his family…”</p> <p>Statements like these tend to minimise the grief journey, says Bickerton. “Life will go on but it will look very different for the person grieving as they adjust to their new normal.” A note that shares a favourite memory or relates the special qualities you valued in the person who has passed is a thoughtful way to express your condolences before or after the funeral, says Wolfelt. “These words will often be a loving gift to the grieving person.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/7-things-you-should-never-say-at-a-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

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You can’t reverse the ageing process but these 5 things can help you live longer

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hassan-vally-202904">Hassan Vally</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p>At this time of year many of us resolve to prioritise our health. So it is no surprise there’s a <a href="https://digiday.com/marketing/health-food-brands-ramp-up-marketing-efforts-around-consumers-new-years-resolutions/">roaring trade</a> of products purporting to guarantee you live longer, be healthier and look more youthful.</p> <p>While an <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4822264/">estimated</a> 25% of longevity is determined by our genes, the rest is determined by what we do, day to day.</p> <p>There are no quick fixes or short cuts to living longer and healthier lives, but the science is clear on the key principles. Here are five things you can do to extend your lifespan and improve your health.</p> <h2>1. Eat a predominantly plant-based diet</h2> <p>What you eat has a huge impact on your health. The evidence overwhelmingly <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8210981/#:%7E:text=According%20to%20an%20expansive%20review,13%20Given%20that%20so%20many">shows</a> eating a diet high in plant-based foods is associated with health and longevity.</p> <p>If you eat more plant-based foods and less meat, processed foods, sugar and salt, you reduce your risk of a range of illnesses that shorten our lives, including heart disease and cancer.</p> <p>Plant-based foods <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-019-0552-0">are rich</a> in nutrients, phytochemicals, antioxidants and fibre. They’re also anti-inflammatory. All of this protects against damage to our cells as we age, which helps prevent disease.</p> <p>No particular diet is right for everyone but one of the most studied and <a href="https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-weight/diet-reviews/mediterranean-diet/#:%7E:text=%5B6%5D%20Those%20who%20had%20the,who%20had%20the%20lowest%20adherence.">healthiest</a> is the <a href="https://www.eatingwell.com/article/291120/mediterranean-diet-for-beginners-everything-you-need-to-get-started/">Mediterranean diet</a>. It’s based on the eating patterns of people who live in countries around the Mediterranean Sea and emphases vegetables, fruits, wholegrains, legumes, nuts and seeds, fish and seafood, and olive oil.</p> <h2>2. Aim for a healthy weight</h2> <p>Another important way you can be healthier is to try and achieve a healthy weight, as obesity <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/obesity/how-obesity-affects-body">increases the risk</a> of a number of health problems that shorten our lives.</p> <p>Obesity puts strain on all of our body systems and has a whole myriad of physiological effects including causing inflammation and hormonal disturbances. These <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK572076/">increase your chances</a> of a number of diseases, including heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes and a number of cancers.</p> <p>In addition to affecting us physically, obesity is also <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6052856/">associated with</a> poorer psychological health. It’s linked to depression, low self-esteem and stress.</p> <p>One of the biggest challenges we face in the developed world is that we live in an <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6817492/">environment</a> that promotes obesity. The ubiquitous marketing and the easy availability of high-calorie foods our bodies are hard-wired to crave mean it’s easy to consume too many calories.</p> <h2>3. Exercise regularly</h2> <p>We all know that exercise is good for us – the <a href="https://www.insurancebusinessmag.com/au/news/breaking-news/hcf-reveals-australias-most-popular-new-years-resolutions-for-2023-431665.aspx">most common resolution</a> we make this time of year is to do more exercise and to get fitter. Regular exercise <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/physical-activity">protects</a> against chronic illness, lowers your stress and improves your mental health.</p> <p>While one of the ways exercising helps you is by supporting you to control your weight and lowering your body fat levels, the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1402378/#:%7E:text=For%20instance%2C%20routine%20physical%20activity,HDL%5D%20cholesterol%20levels%20and%20decreased">effects</a> are broader and include improving your glucose (blood sugar) use, lowering your blood pressure, reducing inflammation and improving blood flow and heart function.</p> <p>While it’s easy to get caught up in all of the hype about different exercise strategies, the evidence <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320760">suggests</a> that any way you can include physical activity in your day has health benefits. You don’t have to run marathons or go to the gym for hours every day. Build movement into your day in any way that you can and do things that you enjoy.</p> <h2>4. Don’t smoke</h2> <p>If you want to be healthier and live longer then don’t smoke or vape.</p> <p>Smoking cigarettes affects almost every organ in the body and is associated with both a shorter and lower quality of life. There is no safe level of smoking – every cigarette increases your <a href="https://theconthatkills.org.au/?utm_source=googlesearch&amp;utm_medium=search&amp;utm_campaign=theconthatkills23&amp;utm_content=RSA&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQjwqP2pBhDMARIsAJQ0Czrlep6EQHC-8_9xUhpz0h9v2ZglMF-6-k7_65awq8FxVaIL5HRoivwaAqJwEALw_wcB&amp;gclsrc=aw.ds">chances of developing</a> a range of cancers, heart disease and diabetes.</p> <p>Even if you have been smoking for years, by giving up smoking at any age you can experience <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/quit_smoking/how_to_quit/benefits/index.htm">health benefits</a> almost immediately, and you can reverse many of the harmful effects of smoking.</p> <p>If you’re thinking of switching to vapes as a healthy long term option, <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-vaping-help-people-quit-smoking-its-unlikely-204812">think again</a>. The long term health effects of vaping are not fully understood and they come with their own <a href="https://theconversation.com/no-vapes-arent-95-less-harmful-than-cigarettes-heres-how-this-decade-old-myth-took-off-203039">health risks</a>.</p> <h2>5. Prioritise social connection</h2> <p>When we talk about living healthier and longer, we tend to focus on what we do to our physical bodies. But one of the most important discoveries over the past decade has been the recognition of the importance of spiritual and psychological health.</p> <p>People who are lonely and socially isolated have a much higher risk of dying early and are <a href="https://healthnews.com/longevity/healthspan/social-connection-and-longevity/#:%7E:text=One%20of%20the%20biggest%20benefits,the%20following%20factors%20and%20influences.">more likely</a> to suffer from heart disease, stroke, dementia as well as anxiety and depression.</p> <p>Although we don’t fully understand the mechanisms, it’s likely due to both behavioural and biological factors. While people who are more socially connected are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/">more likely</a> to engage in healthy behaviours, there also seems to be a more direct physiological effect of loneliness on the body.</p> <p>So if you want to be healthier and live longer, build and maintain your connections to others.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/214580/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hassan-vally-202904"><em>Hassan Vally</em></a><em>, Associate Professor, Epidemiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/you-cant-reverse-the-ageing-process-but-these-5-things-can-help-you-live-longer-214580">original article</a>.</em></p>

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7 things you never knew about M*A*S*H

<p>Did you know <em>M*A*S*H</em> ran more than three times longer than the actual Korean War? It may have graced our screens for 11 years, but you might not know all there is to know about the classic TV series, <em>M*A*S*H</em>.</p> <ol> <li><strong>No one wanted a laugh track</strong> – Despite pleas from the show’s producers, the network (CBS) went ahead and added in canned laughter. You might have noticed the laugh track growing quieter and quieter as the years progressed, and in the UK, the laugh track was removed entirely.</li> <li><strong>CBS banned an “unpatriotic” episode</strong> – An idea for an episode was shot down by the network for being “unpatriotic”. It involved soldiers standing outside in the freezing cold to make themselves sick enough to be sent home – a tactic actually used during the war.</li> <li><strong>The writers got back at complaining cast members</strong> – If ever an actor complained about their script (or asked for changes), the writing team would change the script to make it “parka weather”, making the cast swelter in jackets through days in excess of 32°C on their Florida film set.</li> <li><strong>Patients were named after sports teams</strong> – After running out of names for patients visiting the hospital, the writers turned to baseball teams. In season six, four Marines are named after California Angels infielders, while in season seven, they named patients after the 1978 Los Angeles Dodgers.</li> <li><strong><em>M*A*S*H</em> hosted some big-name stars</strong> – Guest appearances on the show include Ron Howard, Leslie Nielsen, Patrick Swayze, Laurence Fishburne and Rita Wilson.</li> <li><strong>The series finale broke records</strong> – The two-and-a-half-hour 1983 series finale, “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen,” was watched by a staggering 121.6 million people in the US alone – back then, that was 77 per cent of households with TV sets. It remains the most-watched episode of a TV show in US history.</li> <li><strong>The time capsule didn’t stay buried long</strong> – In the series’ second-last episode, the <em>M*A*S*H</em> gang bury a time capsule. When the show wrapped up, the land used as the show’s set was sold, and a construction worker found the capsule just months later. After getting in contact with Alan Alda to return it, Alda told the worker he could keep it.</li> </ol> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

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9 things you should never touch in someone else’s house

<p><strong>A hands-off approach</strong></p> <p>Nothing like a global pandemic to critically alter your lifelong and intrinsic sanitary practices, huh? And while we know coronavirus does not spread easily from surfaces, there are still plenty of other germs and bacteria that do. And it’s not always a matter of good hygiene – sometimes it’s just a matter of good manners!</p> <p><strong>The door </strong></p> <p>Of course, you can actually touch the door, but you should never do so to let yourself into someone else’s home without them, or without being invited. Always knock or ring the bell, even if it’s been left unlocked, unless someone has expressly told you that you don’t have to. </p> <p>And please, don’t show up knocking earlier than expected – it could be a huge inconvenience to your host.</p> <p><strong>Their bathroom </strong></p> <p>As with most of the things on this list, you should avoid this unless you’re specifically invited. Try not to stray after your trip to the bathroom for a look around – it’s definitely off-limits if you don’t have permission or are going in without your host knowing. Of course, there are exceptions, as it may not be so serious an offence if you know the person very well, or if one lives in a shared living space, a studio, or an apartment with limited space. </p> <p>And on that note, it’s best to wait until you’re invited to sit or relax on someone’s bed. Many people also find that a bedroom is a convenient place to store coats if there are guests coming over, but wait until they offer instead of assuming it’s OK.</p> <p><strong>The floor - with your shoes on</strong></p> <p>Depending on personal preferences or cultural norms, many households have a no-shoes-inside policy. Take the tip from your host – if they’re wearing shoes in their house, you can probably assume it’s OK for you. When in doubt, ask what they would prefer. </p> <p>Another place you shouldn’t be putting your feet? On the couch or coffee table. I can think of five good reasons you should ban shoes in the house, period.</p> <p><strong>The fridge and cupboards </strong></p> <p>This one might sound like it should go without saying, but some might not realize just how rude it is to help yourself to someone else’s food. If you’re hungry, let your host know, or suggest going out to eat. If you’re staying for a long time, your host will probably prepare and shop for food accordingly, but it’s a good idea to offer to bring or buy some groceries yourself. And if you came for dinner, eat what’s been prepared for you, and offer to bring a dish or wine to share. </p> <p>If you have a restricted diet, let your host know beforehand and prepare a dish to bring if it’s difficult to accommodate. Offer to help cook, and lend a hand with the dishes and cleanup. Countertops are absolutely one of those things you should be cleaning every day, regardless.</p> <p><strong>The windows or thermostat</strong></p> <p>Always let your hosts set the thermostat number – it’s their house, after all, and they’re the ones paying the bill for it. If you’re really too cold, a better option might be to ask to borrow a jumper, or extra blankets if you’ll be staying overnight. </p> <p>Too hot? Suggest an activity to help cool off, like going to a place with air conditioning. If you have a medical condition that makes you particularly sensitive to heat or cold, you should always inform your host ahead of time so you can make plans accordingly.</p> <p><strong>Drawers and cabinets</strong></p> <p>This one is definitely invasive of your host’s privacy. Don’t go rummaging for anything that’s not in plain sight or in the rooms your host is expecting you in. You might find it tempting to snoop, but the medicine cabinet is certainly off-limits.</p> <p><strong>Workspaces, mail, or bills</strong></p> <p>To go along with the last one, it’s always best to avoid snooping. In some homes, a guest bedroom might also double as a home office, so steer clear of using these spaces to store your things. You have no idea how they might have organised their things, so try to leave it as is. Not going through someone’s mail is basic manners!</p> <p><strong>Cigarettes or e-cigarettes </strong></p> <p>Unless your host is doing the same and gives you permission, you should never, ever start smoking a cigarette or e-cigarette in someone’s home. This rule is especially inflexible if there are children in the house. Not only can you expose them to the harmful ingredients and chemicals in cigarettes, but the effects – and the smell – can linger long after you’re gone. </p> <p>If you can’t wait, excuse yourself to go outside, and try to move away from doors and windows so it doesn’t waft into the house. Removing the cigarette and cigar smell is quite the cumbersome task. </p> <p><strong>The Wi-Fi</strong></p> <p>Try to refrain from asking for the Wi-Fi password unless you’re a long-term guest or a very frequent visitor. If you’re asking at the beginning of a dinner party, it’s sending the message that you’d rather be on your phone. Try to stay off of your phone as much as possible to really have quality time when you’re visiting.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/9-things-you-should-never-touch-in-someone-elses-house" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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What is the ‘sunk cost fallacy’? Is it ever a good thing?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/aaron-nicholas-1487960">Aaron Nicholas</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p>Have you ever encountered a subpar hotel breakfast while on holiday? You don’t really like the food choices on offer, but since you already paid for the meal as part of your booking, you force yourself to eat something anyway rather than go down the road to a cafe.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0167268180900517">Economists</a> and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0749597885900494">social scientists</a> argue that such behaviour can happen due to the “sunk cost fallacy” – an inability to ignore costs that have already been spent and can’t be recovered. In the hotel breakfast example, the sunk cost is the price you paid for the hotel package: at the time of deciding where to eat breakfast, such costs are unrecoverable and should therefore be ignored.</p> <p>Similar examples range from justifying finishing a banal, half-read book (or half-watched TV series) based on prior time already “invested” in the activity, to being less likely to quit exclusive groups such as sororities and sporting clubs the more <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1960-02853-001">effort it took to complete the initiation ritual</a>.</p> <p>While these behaviours are not rational, they’re all too common, so it helps to be aware of this tendency. In some circumstances, you might even use it for your benefit.</p> <h2>Sunk costs can affect high-stakes decisions</h2> <p>While the examples above may seem relatively trivial, they show how common the sunk cost fallacy is. And it can affect decisions with much higher stakes in our lives.</p> <p>Imagine that Bob previously bought a house for $1 million. Subsequently, there’s a nationwide housing market crash. All houses are now cheaper by 20% and Bob can only sell his house for $800,000. Bob’s been thinking of upgrading to a bigger house (and they are now cheaper!), but will need to sell his existing house to have funds for a downpayment.</p> <p>However, he refuses to upgrade because he perceives a loss of $200,000 relative to the original price he paid of $1 million. Bob is committing the sunk cost fallacy by letting the original price influence his decision making – only the house’s current and projected price should matter.</p> <p>Bob might be acting irrationally, but he’s only human. Part of the reason we may find it difficult to ignore such losses is because losses are psychologically more salient relative to gains – this is known as <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1985-05780-001">loss aversion</a>.</p> <p>While most of the evidence for the sunk cost fallacy comes from <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40685-014-0014-8">individual decisions</a>, it may also influence the decisions of groups. In fact, it is sometimes referred to as the <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/262131a0">Concord fallacy</a>, because the French and British governments continued funding the doomed supersonic airliner long after it was likely it would not be commercially viable.</p> <p>Another example is drawn-out armed conflict that involves a large loss of lives for the losing side. Some may think it impossible to capitulate because the casualties will have “died in vain”.</p> <h2>Knowing about sunk costs can help you</h2> <p>If you find yourself justifying behaviour due to costs you’ve paid in the past rather than circumstances of the present, or predictions of the future, it’s worth checking yourself.</p> <p>Identifying sunk costs allows you to cut your losses early and move on, rather than perpetuating larger losses. This is apparent in the housing example: the larger the crash, the cheaper the bigger house; and yet the larger the crash, the greater the perceived loss from selling the existing house. Hence, the greater the loss in opportunity inflicted by the sunk cost fallacy.</p> <p>If you find it difficult to overcome the sunk cost fallacy, it may help to delegate such decisions to others. This may include the decision of whether to <a href="https://direct.mit.edu/rest/article-abstract/93/1/193/57894/The-Flat-Rate-Pricing-Paradox-Conflicting-Effects">go to a buffet</a> or subscribe to Netflix, with the latter potentially being a double whammy: one may feel compelled to binge-watch due to the flat fee structure and, as mentioned earlier, to finish mediocre series once halfway through.</p> <h2>Use sunk costs to your advantage</h2> <p>A second, less obvious benefit is actively using the fallacy to your advantage. For example, many gym memberships require upfront payments regardless of how much you use the facilities. If you find it hard to ignore sunk costs, choosing gym memberships that have large upfront fees and minimal pay-per-usage fees may be a way to <a href="https://pubsonline.informs.org/doi/abs/10.1287/mnsc.2018.3032">commit yourself</a> to a regular gym habit.</p> <p>This can also apply to other activities that involve short-term pain for long-term gain – for example, paying for an online course will make you more likely to stick with it than if you found a free course.</p> <p>But be warned, this doesn’t work for everything: it seems that spending wildly on a <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/ecin.12206">wedding ceremony or engagement ring</a> doesn’t have a “sunk cost” effect – it fails to increase the likelihood of staying married.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217798/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/aaron-nicholas-1487960"><em>Aaron Nicholas</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Economics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-the-sunk-cost-fallacy-is-it-ever-a-good-thing-217798">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Adele called herself a ‘borderline alcoholic’. But is that a real thing?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicole-lee-81635">Nicole Lee</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/curtin-university-873">Curtin University</a></em></p> <p>British singer-songwriter Adele says she has quit drinking, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/oct/18/adele-says-she-has-quit-drinking-after-being-a-borderline-alcoholic">describing herself</a> as a “borderline alcoholic” when she was in her 20s.</p> <p>She joins a <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-young-people-drinking-less-than-their-parents-generation-did-172225">growing number of people</a> who are trying to quit or reduce their drinking.</p> <p>But what does “borderline alcoholic” mean and is it a real thing?</p> <h2>It’s not all-or-nothing any more</h2> <p>In the <a href="https://theconversation.com/does-alcoholics-anonymous-actually-work-179665">early days</a> of alcohol treatment, people used to think of problems with alcohol as all-or-nothing. They used to believe there was something different about people who had problems with alcohol and those who didn’t. That’s how the idea of the “<a href="https://theconversation.com/is-there-really-such-a-thing-as-an-addictive-personality-184137">addictive personality</a>” came about.</p> <p>But now we think of drinking on a continuum. It goes from not drinking at all to dependent drinking. And people can move up and down that continuum at different points in their lives. The old saying “once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic” doesn’t apply any more.</p> <h2>How much is it OK to drink?</h2> <p>The Australian national alcohol <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/health-advice/alcohol">guidelines</a> say healthy men and women should drink no more than ten <a href="https://alcoholthinkagain.com.au/resources-and-tools/standard-drink-tool">standard drinks</a> a week and no more than four a day. So that’s about two to three drinks three to four times a week. <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/health-conditions-and-risks/alcohol-consumption/latest-release">Most Australians</a> drink within these guidelines.</p> <p>If you drink over those guidelines you are more likely to experience a number of long- and short-term <a href="https://www.nhmrc.gov.au/about-us/publications/australian-guidelines-reduce-health-risks-drinking-alcohol">problems</a> including alcohol dependence, cancers, diabetes and heart disease. The risk of problems increases the more you drink and the more frequently you drink.</p> <p>About 25% of Australians drink at <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/illicit-use-of-drugs/national-drug-strategy-household-survey-2019/data">risky levels</a> and around 6% drink at such high levels that they would probably be dependent. Daily drinking is associated with dependence.</p> <h2>So when is someone an alcoholic or a borderline alcoholic?</h2> <p>The term “alcoholic” is rarely used by health professionals any more. It can make people believe there is nothing they can do about the problems they might be experiencing. Historically, that’s what the early treatment providers believed in the 1930s and that <a href="https://theconversation.com/alcohol-problems-arent-for-life-and-aa-isnt-the-only-option-8-things-film-and-tv-get-wrong-about-drug-and-alcohol-treatment-180946">myth has continued</a>. But some people find identifying as an “alcoholic” helpful to maintain their goal of quitting drinking.</p> <p>Health professionals have never used the term “borderline alcoholic”. But in describing herself that way Adele is really saying alcohol is having too much of a negative impact on her life, and like many others has decided to do something positive about it by taking a break.</p> <h2>Which terms do we use now?</h2> <p>Now, we tend to talk about “dependence” on a continuum from mild to moderate to severe. We also talk about the range of problems other than dependence that people can experience, which also lie on a continuum.</p> <p>The threshold for whether someone is a problem or dependent drinker is not just how much they drink (although that is important), but also how severe the alcohol-related problems are.</p> <p>Problems with alcohol don’t always correlate with consumption. Some people can drink a moderate amount and have a lot of problems and others can drink a lot and appear not to have many negative consequences.</p> <h2>I’m worried about my drinking. What next?</h2> <p>If you are wondering if you are drinking too much you can <a href="https://hellosundaymorning.org/nib_alcohol_self-assessment/">check online</a> with a free and anonymous assessment.</p> <p>Signs you may have a <a href="https://alcoholtreatmentguidelines.com.au/resources/appendix-3-diagnostic-criteria-for-alcohol-dependence">problem with alcohol</a> include:</p> <ul> <li> <p>having trouble stopping once you start drinking</p> </li> <li> <p>wanting or trying to cut back but slipping up frequently</p> </li> <li> <p>spending a lot of time drinking or recovering from drinking</p> </li> <li> <p>having cravings to drink alcohol, such as if you come home from work and reach straight for a drink</p> </li> <li> <p>dropping the ball at work, study or home because you’ve been drinking, such as not being able to do your work because you’re hungover</p> </li> <li> <p>continuing to drink alcohol even though you know it’s causing problems with your health, friends, work or relationships</p> </li> <li> <p>giving up or reducing social and work activities to drink instead</p> </li> <li> <p>drinking when it’s not safe, such as before driving or swimming.</p> </li> </ul> <p>If you find you aren’t getting the same effects from alcohol as you used to or you need more and more alcohol to get the same effect, you have probably developed a dependence.</p> <p>Sometimes people who are very dependent can experience withdrawal symptoms when they stop – strong cravings, nausea, sweating, agitation and anxiety.</p> <p>The more of these signs you have, the more likely you are to be dependent on alcohol.</p> <p>If you have any of these signs, taking a break from alcohol for a few months or longer can help. If you find that’s too hard, you can try sticking within the Australian alcohol guidelines by reducing the number of drinks per occasion and increasing your drink-free days.</p> <h2>There’s help</h2> <p>Sometimes when people experience some of these problems they need a bit of help to keep them on track. You can talk to your GP who can refer you to a psychologist or treatment service. Or you can try self-help options such as the Hello Sunday Morning’s <a href="https://hellosundaymorning.org/daybreak/">Daybreak app</a> (a community of people supporting each other to change their relationship with alcohol). If your problems are more severe, you can try something like <a href="https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au">SMART Recovery</a> (evidence-based group support for alcohol and other drug problems).</p> <hr /> <p><em>If you are worried about your own or someone else’s alcohol or other drug use, you can contact the National Alcohol and other Drug Hotline on 1800 250 015 for free, confidential advice.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215987/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicole-lee-81635"><em>Nicole Lee</em></a><em>, Professor at the National Drug Research Institute (Melbourne), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/curtin-university-873">Curtin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/adele-called-herself-a-borderline-alcoholic-but-is-that-a-real-thing-215987">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"Cutest thing ever": Bride and groom praised for breaking wedding tradition

<p>A bride and groom have been praised online for deviating from the traditional wedding party to include their siblings in an adorable way. </p> <p>Carla Wehbe took to TikTok to share a video from her cousin Raymond's nuptials to his partner Bella, in which both the bride and groom wanted their siblings standing next to them on their big day. </p> <p>Raymond had his sister wear a black dress, to match his groomsmen in their black tuxedos, and be given the title best woman.</p> <p>In contrast, Bella’s brother was given a pink suit to match the pink dresses of the other bridesmaids and was given the title man of honour.</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7286234571937484034&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40carlawehbe%2Fvideo%2F7286234571937484034%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2F153b8be3937b45a99bf0be11c35a53f4_1696458709%3Fx-expires%3D1697590800%26x-signature%3D04xfM01KhIsZZkTHQoqTUi%252BiU70%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>“The reason they did it was because their siblings were their best friends and they wanted them to stand by their side on their special day,” Wehbe said in an interview with <em><a href="https://www.newsweek.com/bride-groom-best-woman-man-honor-wedding-1833939" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Newsweek</a></em>. “I loved the idea and thought it made the day really special.”</p> <p>The video has racked up over 65 million views, with thousands of people flocking to the comments to congratulate the newlywed couple, while praising their decision to break with tradition. </p> <p>“This needs to be done more often,” one comment read.</p> <p>However, not all of the commenters were on board with the idea, while many traditionalists slammed the act. </p> <p>Despite the critcs, Wehbe said most of the comments were positive, and that she wanted to use the video to let people know that they can have any kind of wedding they want, whether it breaks tradition or not.</p> <p>“It will definitely inspire people who may have wanted to but were not sure if it was acceptable,” she said. “People should just do what makes them happy on their special day!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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5 important things to check off your list before your next cruise

<p>The tickets are booked! Here’s what you need to do before you set sail.</p> <p><strong>1. Visit your doctor</strong></p> <p>Hope for the best and plan for the worst – it’s a good motto to travel by. Visit your doctor to see if you need any vaccinations or medications for exotic locations, and make sure you’re stocked up on all your regular medications.</p> <p>It is a good idea to bring some extras as well as some basic first aid meds (think pain killers and anti nausea tablets) as these can be expensive or hard to come by.</p> <p><strong>2. Research your ports</strong></p> <p>You only have a short time in each port, so you’ll want to make the most of it. Do some research before you leave and decide what you want to see, how long it will (realistically take) and think about whether you want to take an organised tour. </p> <p>We’re not saying you have to plan a rigid schedule and stick to it, but a rough plan of how you want to spend your day will save time and stress.</p> <p><strong>3. Check the weather</strong></p> <p>It’s amazing how quickly the weather can change or an unexpected storm can spring up. Keep an eye on the weather for the days before your cruise so you can pack accordingly. That might mean adding in a few extra jumpers or doubling up on the sunscreen. </p> <p>You will have limited opportunities to buy these things onboard and they can be really expensive. You also don’t want to waste a day in port running around looking for something to wear.</p> <p><strong>4. Talk to your travel buddy</strong></p> <p>How do you imagine you’ll be spending your days? Flopped by the pool or out exploring your next port? Hitting the dancefloor til the wee hours or getting an early night so you can be up for sunrise yoga? These are good conversations to have with your travel partner before you set sail. </p> <p>There’s no right or wrong answer, but many travel arguments have started because people have different ideas of the perfect holiday.</p> <p><strong>5. Organise your insurance</strong></p> <p>You really should do this when you book your tickets as you’ll be covered from then right up until your cruise at no extra cost. But if you’re left it to the last minute, never fear! Jump online and get yourself insured. </p> <p>Many companies offer policies specific to cruising, so everything you need will be covered. And don’t think that you can skip it if you’re only cruising in Australian waters – Medicare won’t cover you onboard.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Cruising

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These 11 simple everyday things could be ruining your hearing

<p><strong>Protect your ears</strong></p> <p>You know a leaf blower can do a number on your hearing or a loud rock concert can make your ears ring for days. But there are all sorts of surprising everyday items that can have an impact on your hearing, and you don’t want to wait until you’re collecting Social Security to take action – Millennials are losing their hearing, too.</p> <p>From your kitchen to your yard, your medicines to your health conditions, here are things that affect your ears. Take a listen.</p> <p><strong>Blood-related conditions </strong></p> <p>Types 1 and 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol affect almost every cell in the body – including the ears. Vibrations from tiny hair cells in your ears send your brain messages about what you’re hearing, but those cells need proper blood flow. </p> <p>“All those hair cells are fed nutrients by tiny little capillaries,” says audiologist Craig A. Kasper. “If there’s any problem with blood flow, you’re not going to get those hair cells to grow.” People who have diabetes, for instance, are twice as likely to experience hearing loss than the rest of the population, he says.</p> <p><strong>Blow-dryers</strong></p> <p>A hairdryer near your head could be putting out 85 or more decibels of noise. Long or repeated exposure to sounds at or above 85 dB is when people are at risk of hearing loss, says the US National Institutes of Health. You’d probably have to dry your hair for eight hours straight before it did any damage, but that loud part of your beauty regime could add up over time, says clinical audiologist Kit Frank. </p> <p>“The more you use [blow-dryers] and the longer you use them, the more likely you are to have damage,” she says. “It might not do immediate damage, but over time it will.”</p> <p><strong>Loud music</strong></p> <p>You know what it was like when you came home after a loud concert: The ringing in your ears was a sure sign the music was too loud. But even the tunes coming through your headphones could damage your ears. Earbuds are typically more damaging than over-the-ear headphones because they rest deeper in your ear canal, says Frank. </p> <p>And if you crank up the volume to drown out the noise around you, things get even riskier, says Kasper. “You typically have to compete with the environmental noise to hear the music,” he says. “That’s when it becomes dangerous.” Sticking with volume at or below 60 per cent will keep the sound at a safe level, he says. If you can’t hear at that volume, buy sound-blocking headphones to cut out the outside noise.</p> <p><strong>Skipping your annual check-up</strong></p> <p>Most hearing loss comes from gradual damage to your inner ear, but blockages are totally treatable. During your annual visit to your GP, your doctor should check the inside of your ears for wax build-up. Skip that check-up and you might end up with clogged earwax muffling your hearing, says Frank. </p> <p>But you might also get stuffed-up ears after a specific event, says Kasper. “It could be someone has a history of sinus infections or allergies, or just took multiple plane rides and their ears are clogged,” he says. “It makes us feel like we’re underwater."</p> <p><strong>Prescriptions </strong></p> <p>Hearing loss could be a side effect of your medication. Some diuretics for heart disease, chemotherapy and antibiotics (especially gentamicin, neomycin, and others in the -mycin family) could damage your ears. </p> <p>Getting better is your first priority, but it’s worth talking to your doctor about whether the dose is high enough to do damage. “High doses of any antibiotic can be dangerous,” says Frank. “Usually myacins are used in high doses.”</p> <p><strong>Over-the-counter pain relievers </strong></p> <p>Even pain relievers you get over the counter, like aspirin and ibuprofen, could do damage in high amounts. Any hearing loss or tinnitus from them is usually temporary, but the side effects are sometimes permanent. </p> <p>As long as you stick with baby aspirin or regular doses of a pain medication, though, you won’t risk ruining your hearing, says Kasper.</p> <p><strong>High fever</strong></p> <p>As if a high fever weren’t bad enough, that elevated temperature could also damage the nerves in your inner ear, either because of inflammation or lack of oxygen. </p> <p>“If you don’t get that oxygen to the nerves, they break down and they don’t work like they should,” says Frank.</p> <p><strong>Exercise classes</strong></p> <p>Exercise classes are often very loud. The music blasting at your group workout might power you through your sweat session, but it might be working your ears in a bad way. “If you walk out of spin classes and your ears are buzzing, that’s an indication that you may have done damage to your ears,” says Kasper. </p> <p>Download an app to your smartphone to measure the sound level around you throughout your day, he recommends. Consider using hearing protection if your fitness centre is particularly noisy.</p> <p><strong>Kitchen appliances</strong></p> <p>Noisy appliances like blenders and coffee grinders could do damage to your ears over time. The more often you get those noisy blades going, the more trauma your ears go through. Hard-core chefs should consider ear protection, though the occasional smoothie isn’t anything to worry about. </p> <p>“If you’re in the kitchen and cooking and using a blender all day, that’s a problem,” says Frank. “If you use it for ten seconds once a week, it probably won’t be a problem for you.”</p> <p><strong>Power tools </strong></p> <p>The racket from lawnmowers, jackhammers, leaf blowers, drills and other power tools isn’t just a headache, it also risks hearing damage. You’ll need to protect your ears, but earplugs might not be the best choice. Putting fingers grimy from the tools so close to your ear canal could put you at risk for infection, says Kasper. </p> <p>Instead, pick up a pair of earmuffs from the hardware store. “They go right over the ear, and they’re easy to take on and off,” Kasper says.</p> <p><strong>Your commute</strong></p> <p>Public transport can be noisy, and sitting on a train or bus for half an hour to and from work could add up over time and hurt your ears, says Frank. </p> <p>Plus, the siren of an emergency vehicle passing you on the street could be loud enough to do some damage. “Covering your ears is a good thing – it’s not silly,” says Frank.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/conditions/hearing/listen-up-11-surprising-things-that-could-ruin-your-hearing?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

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Taking a cruise? Here are 10 things polite people never do on cruises

<p><strong>Argue in the cabin</strong></p> <p>Especially late at night, be courteous. “Cruise ship rooms tend to have thin walls; therefore you always want to be respectful when you’re walking through hallways so as not to disturb other guests,” says Bonnie Tsai, founder and director of Beyond Etiquette. </p> <p>“This also includes being as quiet as you can when you’re inside your cabin.” Cruisers who really want to avoid as much noise as possible shouldn’t book their room under the gym or pool deck, if possible.</p> <p><strong>Pretend the cruise is a personal yacht</strong></p> <p>The ship is your home away from home for a set amount of time. You should still keep in mind your behaviour and presentation, according to Tsai. “There’s no need to show off your immense collection of expensive jewellery or wear lingerie or PJs in the hallways,” she says. </p> <p>There are plenty of other guests sharing the same space, and they may not want to see your plaid PJs.</p> <p><strong>Hog lounge chairs </strong></p> <p>It’s impolite to save seats for your family and friends, whether it’s by the pool or in the theatre. Tsai says if you must save a seat, do so for only 30 minutes. Ships have a limited amount of seating, so be mindful. Another important tip to keep in mind is if your group wants to sit together, show up at the same time. </p> <p>“If it’s a situation where every lounger is sure to be occupied by 10 am, many cruises allow guests to place towels on loungers for a maximum of 30 minutes before they arrive,” Tsai says. “Gauge the situation and act with consideration for other guests.” Don’t fall for one of the most common cruise misconceptions, either.</p> <p><strong>Spread germs </strong></p> <p>If you’re not feeling so great during your cruise, do your best to keep your germs to yourself. “When one person is sick on a cruise, it’s easy for the whole ship to get infected as everyone’s staying in close quarters,” Tsai says.</p> <p>If you feel a cold coming on, try to avoid being in overly-crowded areas, so you don’t get others sick as well. And always cover your mouth with the nook of your elbow when you cough or sneeze.</p> <p><strong>Skip the tip</strong></p> <p>Many major cruise lines charge a daily fee for tips, but lots of people have confusion about tipping, according to Tsai. Confirm the tipping policy before booking your cruise. “If the cruise line doesn’t include tip in your payment, be sure to factor that into your budget when you plan for your trip,” Tsai says. </p> <p>“If tipping isn’t included and there is a standard tipping policy, then be sure to deliver it to the staff who’s helped you during your trip.” If tipping is expected, it’s customary for room service, dining services, childcare, and any additional alcohol.</p> <p><strong>Constantly complain</strong></p> <p>There’s no reason to be rude if something doesn’t go your way during the cruise. Polite people never take issues out on crew members, according to Emilie Dulles, an event protocol and etiquette expert. “The crew is there to ensure that every traveller has the best experience onboard possible, yet they are also skilled human beings who should be treated with respect, grace, and kindness,” Dulles says. </p> <p>“Nothing is as tacky as yelling at a server, or complaining at the turn-down staff for forgetting an extra blanket, or hitting on a mixologist after one too many daiquiris.” Pay respect and attention to cruise workers.</p> <p><strong>Drink too much </strong></p> <p>Everyone should enjoy their cruise, and if that means sipping on fruity cocktails, that’s your business. If drinking regularly isn’t something you do, or you don’t know how to handle your liquor, it could lead to lots of rude behaviour. </p> <p>“Inhibitions go down as blood alcohol content goes up, so to avoid embarrassing oneself and disrupting other travellers’ cruise experience, it’s more polite to keep one’s cocktail count in check,” Dulles says.</p> <p><strong>Let kids run wild </strong></p> <p>Many families don’t keep a close eye on their kids while on a cruise, Dulles says. “There are assigned areas for children to run, jump, and be themselves with full energy under the supervision of trained staff,” Dulles says. “The entire ship is not their playground.”</p> <p>Polite people recognise that not all cruise travellers want to see or hear kids all the time. Mind the signs that show what areas are only for adults, families, or kids. “By respecting those boundaries, not only will children enjoy themselves more, but also adults will be able to relax and make the most of their time at sea.” Some cruises are especially for families.</p> <p><strong>Hoard food </strong></p> <p>All-inclusive food is very alluring. It’s easy to take things to the extreme. And although the buffet is tempting, remember not to be wasteful. “When it comes to the all-inclusive aspect of cruise voyages, many travellers will see this as an opportunity of getting as much as possible out of their fare,” Dulles says. </p> <p>“By piling more food than they can consume on their buffet plate and ordering cocktail after cocktail just because they can, travellers can be very wasteful and inconsiderate towards the crew who spends a lot of time and energy putting together the meals and drinks available.” Instead, take enough food for one sitting. You can always choose to go back for seconds, but this is more elegant than throwing away platefuls of perfectly good food.</p> <p><strong>Dress inappropriately</strong></p> <p>During the daytime, there are generally no dress code requirements on cruises. Tsai notes, however, if you plan on a formal dining experience with other guests, dress appropriately for the occasion. Generally, dress code requirements for the evening are in the cruise’s daily program, according to Tsai.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/travel/10-things-polite-people-never-do-on-cruises" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Cruising

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5 bizarre – but true – things regular exercise does to your body

<p><strong>You feel like someone is stabbing a knife into your ribs </strong></p> <p>Experts don’t know exactly what causes those sharp, fleeting pains called side stitches, but many believe they’re due to diaphragm spasms triggered by rapid breathing, says Tom Holland, exercise physiologist and author of <em>Beat the Gym</em>. Eating too close to your workout may play a role. And side stitches occur more frequently in novice exercisers.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>What to try</em></span>: To stop a stitch, slow your pace and take deep breaths while contracting your abdominal muscles. Stretch your arms overhead or to the side. To prevent a stitch: Eat light pre-exercise meals, and wait at least 30 minutes after eating before you work out. Always warm up for five to ten minutes; gradually increase workout intensity.</p> <p><strong>Your nose is suddenly a dripping tap </strong></p> <p>Exercise, especially in cold, dry air, can trigger a runny, congested nose, a condition known as exercise-induced rhinitis. “Increased nasal breathing during exercise dries out the nose’s mucous membranes, which makes the nose secrete more mucus to protect the nasal airway,” says Dr William Silvers, an asthma, allergy and immunology specialist .</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>What to try</em></span>: If your nose is really interfering with your workout, ask your doctor to prescribe a nasal spray, and use it at least 30 minutes before you exercise. Pack plenty of tissues in your pockets.</p> <p><strong>You have to go to the bathroom</strong></p> <p>Badly. It’s called runner’s trots, but don’t be fooled by the name: Even walkers can experience loose bowels, especially when logging long distances. During exercise, your body directs blood flow away from your gut to working muscles, which can trigger diarrhoea, Holland says. Dehydration and pre-race anxiety may exacerbate the problem.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>What to try</em></span>: Don’t eat anything for two hours before exercising. Skip high-fibre and high-fat foods, caffeine and artificial sweeteners, all of which can make things worse. Drink plenty of fluids before, during, and after exercise. Begin your workouts after bowel movements, and make sure you have access to a restroom.</p> <p><strong>Your face turns as red as a stop sign </strong></p> <p>Blame your capillaries, small blood vessels near the skin’s surface that dilate during exercise to help you stay cool. People with sensitive skin may flush more and stay red longer.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>What to try</em></span>: Spritz cold water on your skin frequently or switch to activities in air-conditioned locations. The flush usually disappears about 30 minutes after you stop exercising, but if you have persistent redness, you may have rosacea, a skin disease that causes flushing, redness, bumps and pimples. It can be treated with oral and topical medications.</p> <p><strong>You break out in hives</strong></p> <p>Yes, you really could be allergic to exercise. Urticaria is often triggered by sweating and an elevated body temperature.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>What to try</em></span>: See a specialist to rule out other conditions. If it is urticaria, your doctor may recommend taking an antihistamine treatment before exercise. Working out in cooler conditions may help.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/5-bizarre-things-exercise-does-to-your-body" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Five things to do before you die – because planning your eventual demise takes preparation

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hui-yun-chan-715995">Hui Yun Chan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-huddersfield-1226">University of Huddersfield</a></em></p> <p>Many people who are struck with sudden, progressive or terminal illness are <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-are-patients-in-permanent-comas-routinely-kept-alive-43365">kept alive mechanically</a>, while families and doctors make decisions about treatment. As a researcher in medical law, particularly end-of-life decision-making, I have seen how this can become a minefield of legal and ethical problems.</p> <p>UK law allows people to plan in advance of any debilitating illness, and thus have some control over future treatment. This is known as “<a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-life-care/advance-decision-to-refuse-treatment/">advance decisions</a>”. While these laws are in place, research shows the <a href="https://rm.coe.int/cdcj-2017-2e-final-rapport-vs-21-06-2018/16808b64ae">majority of people disregard or defer the discussions</a> primarily because they do not know how to raise them, or what to expect.</p> <p>While planning for your eventual demise probably sounds as fun as pulling teeth, it can be empowering. Following from <a href="https://pure.hud.ac.uk/en/publications/advance-directives-rethinking-regulation-autonomy-amp-healthcare-">my recent book</a>, here are five tips for how you can use the law to help you plan for what you want in the future – and make your voice heard when you may no longer have one.</p> <h2>1. Gather information from experts</h2> <p>First, you must think, gather information and talk to experts about how life can unfold in the case of progressive illness. This is important whether you are well but thinking about future incapacity, or whether you have actually been <a href="https://www.4pb.com/case-detail/re-ak-medical-treatment-consent/">diagnosed with illness</a>.</p> <p>A solicitor with expertise in advance directives can help you understand important laws, such as those that dictate when a person has <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2005/9/contents">sufficient “mental capacity”</a> to make lawful decisions. Lawyers can help you draft your will, and advise on how to protect or pass on your estate – including <a href="https://www.gov.uk/inheritance-tax">hidden costs</a>. They can also help you <a href="https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney">nominate someone</a> to make medical decisions for you when you become incapacitated, and decide the limits of their power. Do not just assume that your family members automatically have the power to decide for you legally.</p> <p>If you are ill, ask a doctor to inform you how your condition will progress so you can decide how you will deal with future events. For example, with dementia and other progressive illnesses, you must consider what quality of life you would tolerate. Similarly, in the case of pain, what treatment you would accept or refuse?</p> <p>Think big picture about your future life. Would you trade quantity of life for quality, opting for less time but with better quality of life?</p> <h2>2. Setting your decisions in stone</h2> <p>Now you have made some important decisions, the next step is about making these decisions clear in the right way, to the right people, and at the right time.</p> <p>I have <a href="https://www.springer.com/gp/book/9783030009755#aboutBook">documented many cases</a> across England and Wales where advance directives are disputed because they are invalid or inapplicable and there is a dispute about whether they are still legally able to make decisions. Considering your health, you may want to get a <a href="https://www.bma.org.uk/advice/employment/ethics/mental-capacity/assessing-mental-capacity">formal assessment</a> of your mental state and ability to make decisions. You should record any conversations you have in writing. Documents that show you have been supported (by friends, family or professionals) in your decision-making boost the validity of your choices, <a href="https://brill.com/view/journals/ejhl/25/1/article-p24_24.xml?lang=en">making them more binding</a> for healthcare professionals.</p> <p>Legally, just revealing your treatment preferences to your doctor or friends <a href="https://swarb.co.uk/w-healthcare-nhs-trust-v-kh-ca-17-sep-2004/">is not enough</a>. Writing things down is important, though never easy. Ask family or friends to support you in this process. If a loved one is aware of the choices you have made they are less likely to object to your medical decisions because they have been part of the decision process.</p> <h2>3. Update when your situation changes</h2> <p>Many people are caught out when their <a href="https://compassionindying.org.uk/making-decisions-and-planning-your-care/planning-ahead/advance-decision-living-will/review-update/">personal situation changes</a>, but they have failed to update their advance directives to reflect this – such as changing romantic relationships. Family conflict by your bedside is the last thing you want. Even if your circumstances are the same, regularly update to avoid “what was I thinking?” moments when it’s too late.</p> <h2>4. Make sure it gets found</h2> <p>Inform your family, doctors and lawyers what your advance directives are <em>and</em> where to find them. If the right people don’t have access to your directives, they are useless. In a recent example, the family of a Warwickshire woman was granted a £45,000 payout after she was <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-42240148">kept alive for 22 months against her will</a> – as the relevant documents had been misplaced.</p> <h2>5. Don’t forget your online life</h2> <p>Discussions on social media about how you wish to spend your twilight days may help as <a href="https://brill.com/view/journals/ejhl/25/1/article-p24_24.xml?lang=en">supporting information</a> to ensure the wishes in your advance directives are strengthened. You should also think about who you want to be granted (or denied) access to your online accounts and social media after your death. Streamlining this process, you can now <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/04/google-death-a-tool-to-take-care-of-your-gmail-when-youre-gone/274934/">create a social media will</a> online.</p> <p>Drafting an advance directive is an exercise in liberty. It allows our beliefs and preferences to be made clear even when we are physically or mentally unable to express them ourselves. An advance directive is our voice when we no longer have one. Use your voice wisely.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/122296/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hui-yun-chan-715995">Hui Yun Chan</a>, Senior Lecturer in Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-huddersfield-1226">University of Huddersfield</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/five-things-to-do-before-you-die-because-planning-your-eventual-demise-takes-preparation-122296">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Would you do this at home? Why we are more likely to do stupid things on holidays

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/denis-tolkach-11345">Denis Tolkach</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/james-cook-university-1167">James Cook University</a></em> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephen-pratt-335188">Stephen Pratt</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-the-south-pacific-1881">The University of the South Pacific</a></em></p> <p>As the COVID pandemic took hold, Ohio’s Brady Sluder went to Miami for spring break, despite <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/24/us/coronavirus-brady-sluder-spring-break.html">urgent calls</a> for people to stay home and socially distance.</p> <p>Interviewed by CBS News, Sluder’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/24/us/coronavirus-brady-sluder-spring-break.html">arrogant justfication</a> for his trip went viral.</p> <p>"If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I’m not gonna let it stop me from partying […] about two months we’ve had this trip planned."</p> <p>A week later — now an international “celebrity” for all the wrong reasons — he was forced to issue a grovelling apology.</p> <p>If you think Sluder’s partying was stupid, we share your feelings.</p> <p>With the festive season upon us, as the pandemic continues, we can only hope <a href="https://theconversation.com/iso-boomer-remover-and-quarantini-how-coronavirus-is-changing-our-language-136729">covidiots</a> listen to the rules. As many of us also head off on summer breaks, now is also a good time to reflect on stupidity in tourism.</p> <p>We may be tempted to think a stupid person has certain demographic or psychological characteristics. However, anyone can behave stupidly, especially in unfamiliar environments — like holidays — where it is difficult to judge the right course of action.</p> <h2>The laws of human stupidity</h2> <p>In our recently published <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02508281.2020.1828555">journal article</a> on stupidity in tourism, we see stupidity as an action without insight or sound judgement. This results in losses or harm to the perpetrator and others. In a holiday context, it can negatively affect tourists themselves, as well as other people, animals, organisations, or destinations.</p> <p>In 1976, Italian economist Carlo Cipolla published a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2012/apr/09/improbable-research-human-stupidity">definitive essay</a> called The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity. Although we prefer to focus on stupid behaviour rather than stupid people, we agree with his five laws:</p> <ol> <li> <p>Always and inevitably, everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.</p> </li> <li> <p>The probability that a certain person (will) be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person.</p> </li> <li> <p>A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person or a group of persons while himself deriving no gain and even possibly incurring losses.</p> </li> <li> <p>Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. In particular, non-stupid people constantly forget dealing with or associating with stupid people always and everywhere turns out to be a costly mistake.</p> </li> <li> <p>A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.</p> </li> </ol> <p>Why is stupid behaviour so dangerous? Because it is irrational and so the outcome is unpredictable.</p> <p>Who could have thought so many people would die <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/US/selfie-accidents-range-silly-deadly-world/story?id=53636494">when taking a selfie</a> that you can now <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/life-insurance-for-selfie-deaths-have-we-reached-peak-stupid-20191003-p52xe2.html">take out insurance</a> on the act? Or that aeroplane passengers would <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/business-50979485#:%7E:text=A%20Chinese%20man%20who%20was,near%20one%20of%20its%20engines.">throw coins into engines</a> for good luck?</p> <h2>What causes stupidity?</h2> <p>How can we better understand our own stupid behaviour, or recognise it in others? Stupidity is generally caused by an excess of one or more of the following factors:</p> <ul> <li>the person believing they know everything</li> <li>the person believing they can do anything</li> <li>the person being extremely self-centred</li> <li>the person believing nothing will harm them</li> <li>the person’s emotions (for example, fear or anger)</li> <li>the person’s state (for example, exhausted or drunk).</li> </ul> <h2>Why stupid behaviour is more likely on holidays</h2> <p>Tourists can be affected by all of these factors.</p> <p>Leisure tourism, by its nature, is a very self-centred and pleasure-seeking activity. People often travel to relax and enjoy themselves.</p> <p>In pursuit of trying something new or escaping their daily routine, people may go to places with very different cultures or practices than their own, or try things they wouldn’t normally do — such as adventure activities. As a result, individuals can act differently while on holidays.</p> <p>There also seem to be fewer social constraints. Tourists may not follow rules and social norms while travelling, because relatives, friends, colleagues, bosses are less likely to find out. Of course, tourists may not be aware of the commonly-accepted rules of where they travelling, as well.</p> <p>All of the above increases the likelihood of stupidity. And one certainly doesn’t need to travel overseas to be stupid. A case in point is a tourist who <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-05/tourist-allegedly-broke-into-uluru-kata-tjuta-park-coronavirus/12526084">snuck into Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park</a>, which was closed-off in August due to COVID concerns in the local indigenous community. The woman injured her ankle and had to be rescued.</p> <h2>The importance of thinking first</h2> <p>So, what to do about stupid tourist behaviour?</p> <p>Strict regulation, physical barriers, warning signs and other punitive measures alone may not work. This is seen in the case of a man who climbed over a zoo fence in 2017 to avoid the entry fee. He ended up <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-01-30/man-mauled-by-tiger-after-climbing-to-fence-avoid-buying-ticket/8225016">being mauled to death</a> by a tiger.</p> <p>Education of tourists on how to behave during travels <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0160738317300063">has some effect</a>. But more importantly, tourists need to be <a href="https://theconversation.com/tourists-behaving-badly-how-culture-shapes-conduct-when-were-on-holiday-72285">self-aware</a>. They need to consider what is likely to happen as a result of their behaviour, how likely is it that things will go wrong, and whether they would do this at home.</p> <p>While stupidity is impossible to eliminate, it can be less frequent and do much less damage, if we take time to reflect on our behaviour and attitudes.</p> <p>So, have fun during the holiday … but don’t be stupid!<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/150287/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/denis-tolkach-11345">Denis Tolkach</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/james-cook-university-1167">James Cook University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephen-pratt-335188">Stephen Pratt</a>, Professor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-the-south-pacific-1881">The University of the South Pacific</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-do-this-at-home-why-we-are-more-likely-to-do-stupid-things-on-holidays-150287">original article</a>.</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Why you should throw out five things every Monday

<p><strong>Throw out five things </strong></p> <p>Organising your entire house in one fell swoop might be overwhelming, but vowing to toss or put away just five objects will seem much more doable. Once you look for expired foods, old receipts, junk mail, dirty socks, and other useless items, it won’t take long to gather all five and be well on your way to a de-cluttered home.</p> <p><strong>Do a once-over</strong></p> <p>The biggest thing you could do every week is to quickly take an assessment on the inside and outside of your house and determine what you need to add to your schedule. Do you notice any scuffed paint? Unruly hedges? Once you know what projects you’ll need to tackle, plan out which ones you’ll realistically have time for this week. Deciding ahead of time will make you less overwhelmed when chore time rolls around.</p> <p><strong>Clean your exhaust hood vent </strong></p> <p>Most homeowners are already good about wiping down their stovetop on at least a weekly basis, but don’t stop there. Remove the overhead vent and give it a rinse to remove the grease and food residue build-up. Not only can it prevent fire, your food might taste better, too.</p> <p><strong>Clear out your "drop zone"</strong></p> <p>Most homes have one or more areas where clutter builds up, whether it’s mail collecting on the kitchen table or a pile of clothes heaped on a bedroom chair. While it’s better to contain the clutter than to let it spill all over the house, that build-up can get overwhelming.</p> <p>To keep clutter to a minimum, take a moment each week to ‘sweep’ surfaces in at least one room. Take a trip around the room and remove easy-to-grab clutter from tabletops and shelves. Once the objects are out of the way, wipe down to keep those areas clean and tidy.</p> <p><strong>Vacuum</strong></p> <p>Of course, you know you need to vacuum when you start seeing pet dander and dirt building up, but that’s not the only reason you should clean your floors. Not only are you moving dust and dirt from the floors, but you’re protecting your filters. If you aren’t changing your heating, ventilation, and air conditioning filters or vacuuming the floors frequently enough, pet hair and other particles can build up and take a toll on the system.</p> <p><strong>Water your plants</strong></p> <p>A dried-up houseplant is a sorry sight. By committing one day a week to checking your plants, even homeowners without a green thumb can keep houseplants healthy. See if your plants are thirsty, and pick up any fallen leaves from the soil.</p> <p><strong>Mow the lawn</strong></p> <p>You’re able to put it off in the winter, but pulling out the lawnmower every week in the warmer months will keep your yard from getting unruly. Plus, it’s better for your equipment. The long grass could get caught in the blades, making the task more difficult than it would have been if you kept up with maintenance.</p> <p><strong>Change your bath towels </strong></p> <p>Even if you don’t have time to scrub your bathtub, sink, toilet, and floor every week, make sure you at least tackle the dirty towels. Replace any dirty towels with new ones, and make sure the clean ones are folded or hung nicely in place.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/home-tips/why-you-should-throw-out-five-things-every-monday" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Home & Garden

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Throwing things on stage is bad concert etiquette – but it’s also not a new trend

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/timothy-mckenry-287534">Timothy McKenry</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-catholic-university-747">Australian Catholic University</a></em></p> <p>The recent spate of <a href="https://www.today.com/popculture/music/fans-throwing-objects-concerts-trend-2023-rcna93631">incidents</a> where objects have been thrown at musicians by people who paid to see them perform has generated comment, consternation and condemnation on media both mainstream and social.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cardi-b-police-report-microphone-las-vegas-rcna97344">recent case</a> involved liquid being thrown on stage during a performance by American rapper Cardi B. The singer retaliated by throwing her microphone into the crowd. Media accounts suggest the incident has resulted in a police complaint filed by someone in the audience.</p> <p>With mobile phones, soft toys, flower arrangements and even <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/music/2023/06/27/pink-concert-fan-throws-ashes-on-stage/70359893007/">cremains</a> raining down on the world’s most famous musicians, commentators and celebrities alike predict injury and interruption are inevitable.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Cardi B is now under investigation for battery after throwing her microphone at a fan <a href="https://t.co/yf3WXklkpo">pic.twitter.com/yf3WXklkpo</a></p> <p>— Complex Music (@ComplexMusic) <a href="https://twitter.com/ComplexMusic/status/1686095347511128064?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 31, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <h2>Why has concert etiquette been forgotten?</h2> <p>“Have you noticed how people are, like, forgetting fucking show etiquette at the moment?” <a href="https://themusic.com.au/news/adele-will-f-cking-kill-you-if-you-throw-anything-at-her-while-she-s-on-stage/LQCTISAjIiU/05-07-23">pointed out singer Adele</a> recently.</p> <p><a href="https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2023/07/11/concert-fan-bad-behavior">Some scholars</a> see this trend as a consequence of the suspension of live performances during COVID-19. The idea being that audiences – particularly those made up of large crowds – are out of practice when it comes to concert etiquette.</p> <p><a href="https://www.rmit.edu.au/news/media-releases-and-expert-comments/2023/July/fans-throwing-things-at-artists">Others suggest</a> the behaviour represents an attempt by fans to interact with the performers they love and achieve status within fan communities through viral social media content.</p> <p>It’s also possible we’ve overstated this phenomenon and that ravenous media, hungry for stories and scandal, are interpreting unrelated events as a trend. Motivation, for example, differs markedly.</p> <p>The devoted fan who <a href="https://www.today.com/popculture/music/harry-styles-hit-face-concert-vienna-rcna93333">threw a rose at Harry Styles</a> is clearly not in the same category as the <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/bebe-rexha-stitches-hit-cell-phone-1234774163/">man who hit Bebe Rehxa</a> in the face with his mobile phone “because it would be funny”.</p> <h2>Throwing things historically</h2> <p>Additionally, none of these incidents are without historical precedent.</p> <p>Whether a bouquet of flowers <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/292498073_The_operatic_event_Opera_houses_and_opera_audiences">tossed to an opera singer</a> to communicate delight at their performance or a story of <a href="http://journals.ed.ac.uk/forum/article/view/642">rotten fruit hurled at performers</a> to convey disdain at a disastrous opening night, history shows throwing things at live performances is nothing new.</p> <p>Just as the social status of musicians has changed over time (in the late 18th century top-rank musicians gradually transitioned from <a href="https://www.perlego.com/book/801073/music-art-and-performance-from-liszt-to-riot-grrrl-the-musicalization-of-art-pdf">servants to celebrities</a>), so too has concert etiquette. Concert etiquette is a <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/978-3-319-99166-5_1?pdf=chapter%20toc">manifestation of the social contracts</a> that exist between musicians and their audiences. These are in a constant state of flux and differ wildly over time, place, style and genre.</p> <p>For example, were I to attend the opera this weekend and spend the evening chatting to those around me, tapping my feet and shouting across the auditorium and at the performers, I’d be committing a major breach of etiquette. Indeed, I would quickly be escorted out. Were I to display these same behaviours in a mid-18th-century Parisian opera house, I would <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3128412">fit right in</a>.</p> <h2>Flowers and souvenirs and mania</h2> <p>In the same way, throwing items like flowers, love notes and handkerchiefs at musicians, in some settings at least, has transitioned from aberrant to ordinary.</p> <p>Some 180 years before fans were casting flowers at Harry Styles, the composer and pianist <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Franz-Liszt">Franz Liszt</a> was the object of fanatical adoration. His 1841-42 tour of Germany saw crowds of mostly women shower him with flowers and other tokens, scramble for souvenirs, and throw themselves at his feet.</p> <p>Soon dubbed “<a href="https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Liszt_in_Germany_1840_1845.html?id=5eaYF1v2S5cC&amp;redir_esc=y">Lisztomania</a>”, this collective reaction to a musician by an audience was a relatively new phenomenon and one that was pathologised and criticised. In the words of the contemporary writer Heinrich Heine, Lisztomania was part of the “<a href="https://web.p.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?vid=0&amp;sid=219aa480-1756-49ce-a493-8b1ad12a72af%40redis">spiritual sickness of our time</a>”.</p> <p>Over time, these “manic” audience behaviours are, at least in some contexts, normalised and even celebrated. <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/254957654_We%27re_Going_to_See_the_Beatles_An_Oral_History_of_Beatlemania_as_Told_by_the_Fans_Who_Were_There_review">Beatlemania</a>, for example, is generally understood as a watershed moment of cultural exuberance.</p> <h2>Changing concert etiquette</h2> <p>Musicians can be agents of change in relation to concert etiquette. Tom Jones, <a href="https://www.proquest.com/docview/2527891177?accountid=8194&amp;forcedol=true&amp;pq-origsite=primo">speaking in 2003</a>, recalls the first time a fan threw underwear at him. While performing and perspiring at the Copacabana in New York, audience members handed him napkins. One woman threw underwear. Jones explains that a newspaper report, combined with his “leaning in” to the audience behaviour, created a phenomenon. "I would pick them up and play around with them, you know, because you learn that whatever happens on stage, you try to turn it to your advantage and not get thrown by it."</p> <p>Jones’ engagement with this new mode of behaviour generated such a degree of positive reinforcement that it has become a clichéd fan behaviour employed in relation to numerous musicians. Jones came to view underwear throwing with a degree of ambivalence. He soon refrained from leaning in in the hope of moderating an act that became a parody of itself.</p> <p>Throwing things at concerts goes both ways. Consider Adele firing a T-shirt gun into the crowd or Charlie Watts <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bszhqrybXnQ">throwing his drumsticks</a> to the audience after a performance. These acts are part of the performance and universally viewed as non-controversial.</p> <p>Somewhat more controversial are mosh pits where performers sometimes even throw themselves into the audience. <a href="https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2018/sep/heavy-metal-music-inclusive-and-governed-rules-etiquette">Recent research</a> reveals a strict etiquette tied to this practice, founded on community and safety.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bszhqrybXnQ?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Finally, no concert etiquette ever permits throwing something hazardous or throwing something with the intent to harm. If these incidents do trend towards violence in service of notoriety on social media, live music will suffer.</p> <p>Measures such as added security, physical barriers, airport style screening and even audience vetting will quickly become commonplace. Remember, celebrities like Liszt and Tom Jones aren’t the only agents of change. We can be too.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210717/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/timothy-mckenry-287534">Timothy McKenry</a>, Professor of Music, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-catholic-university-747">Australian Catholic University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/throwing-things-on-stage-is-bad-concert-etiquette-but-its-also-not-a-new-trend-210717">original article</a>.</em></p>

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