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“Update me about the divorce”: Groom blasted for terrible wedding vows

<p>A groom has been slammed online for putting "no effort" into his vows on his wedding day. </p> <p>The video of the couple's nuptials was shared to TikTok, where it garnered millions of views and comments absolutely rinsing the groom's poor attempt at heartfelt vows. </p> <p>In the video, the man named Cody was called upon to say his vows to his bride, choosing to say, “I promise to smack that a** every chance I get. Booyah.”</p> <p>“That’s all I got.”</p> <p>The officiant even tried to give him another chance at the vows, asking Cody if he wanted to say anything else, and the laughing man said that was it.</p> <p>The audience was stunned, with one heard saying “Cody no”.</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7312230224937127210&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40ckentertainmentservices%2Fvideo%2F7312230224937127210%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F361ef6750f00485bbdf1a58d57f32a54_1702511281%3Fx-expires%3D1703030400%26x-signature%3DrWstCywhkiKIPPo%252BsCW3HVMnjxM%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>“I didn’t write nothing out. That’s what I’m going with. We’ve made it this long,” he added.</p> <p>The video caused outrage online, with people condemning the man's actions, saying he should've put more effort in on what is supposed to be one of the biggest days of his life. </p> <p>“Even if that’s the kind of humour they have together. The wedding vows should’ve been serious,” one person commented. </p> <p>Another added. “Update me about the divorce.”</p> <p>“‘I didn't write nothing out’ AKA ‘I put no effort into the most important day in our relationship thus far’,” one said.</p> <p>Another added, “Notice how no one is laughing besides him.”</p> <p>"The officiant trying to give him a chance of redemption," one social media user pointed out.</p> <p>Others called for justice for the bride, writing, “Her wedding dress is so pretty, she looked so beautiful. She didn’t deserve that.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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How to stay awake after a terrible night’s sleep

<p><strong>How to stay awake </strong></p> <p>There are ideals and then there’s real life. In truth, you will at times find yourself tired but still obligated to stay alert. Here’s how to stay awake and make those moments as painless as possible.</p> <p><strong>Play music</strong></p> <p>This brain hack works best if you opt for something cheery, with a beat that’s strong and fast but not exhausting (100 to 130 beats per minute). Music with heart-rate lowering tempos – think 60 beats per minute or less – can actually induce sleep, so consider yourself warned.</p> <p><strong>Go outside or place yourself near a bright light</strong></p> <p>Your body takes its sleep-wake cues from light, so draw back the curtains and let in the sunshine. If it’s not a sunny day, fool your system into thinking it is by cranking the dimmer switch up to maximum, and ensuring your workspace is properly illuminated with task lighting.</p> <p><strong>Drink water</strong></p> <p>Dehydration increases sleepiness. According to Harvard Health, keeping yourself hydrated can help to curb fatigue. It doesn’t necessarily have to be water, either – there are plenty of hydrating drinks that can count towards your daily fluid intake, even caffeinated beverages!</p> <p><strong>Exercise</strong></p> <p>Aerobic activity pumps oxygen through your system and releases hormones that give you energy. There are plenty of other health benefits from increasing your physical activity level, of course.</p> <p><strong>Stimulate your mind </strong></p> <p>Boredom itself promotes fatigue. Break the cycle by starting a conversation, engaging in a new activity, or reading an article about a topic that interests you.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/how-to-stay-awake-after-a-terrible-nights-sleep" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Body

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Virgin Galactic’s use of the ‘Overview Effect’ to promote space tourism is a terrible irony

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ariane-moore-1060920">Ariane Moore</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-tasmania-888">University of Tasmania</a></em></p> <p>Virgin Galactic, the space tourism company founded in 2004 by Richard Branson, <a href="https://www.virgingalactic.com/">promotes its flights</a> as offering:</p> <blockquote> <p>A Brand New Perspective: Deepen your connection to Earth and to humanity with the transformational experience known as the Overview Effect.</p> </blockquote> <p>First discussed in 1987 by space philosopher Frank White, the Overview Effect is a result of viewing Earth from space.</p> <p>Expressions of the effect range broadly. Astronauts might experience profound awe and wonder at the perception of Earth as a fragile living being. Some suffer crushing grief when considering the harm humans inflict on nature.</p> <p>While Virgin Galactic promotes access to the Overview Effect as a major drawcard, it is a terrible irony that space tourism is <a href="https://www.thespacereview.com/article/4527/1">enormously damaging</a> for the environment.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z6d7hyW5FDw?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">On May 25, Virgin Galactic completed a final test flight before it starts taking paying customers.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>The Overview Effect</h2> <p>The Overview Effect is not limited to astronauts from the West. Their Chinese and Russian counterparts have described the same profound connection to Earth when witnessing the planet from space.</p> <p>As Soviet Russian cosmonaut Yuri Artyushkin <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fcns0000086">reported</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>The feeling of unity is not simply an observation. With it comes a strong sense of compassion and concern for the state of our planet and the effect humans are having on it. It isn’t important in which sea or lake you observe a slick of pollution, or in the forests of which country a fire breaks out, or on which continent a hurricane arises. You are standing guard over the whole of our Earth.</p> </blockquote> <p>Until recently, researching the Overview Effect has required interviews with professional astronauts. Today, commercial space tourism is increasing awareness of the phenomenon, particularly when experienced by celebrities with large platforms.</p> <p>In 2021, Star Trek actor William Shatner completed a suborbital flight with Jeff Bezos’ space tourism company <a href="https://www.blueorigin.com/">Blue Origin</a>. Shatner had anticipated emotions of celebration and joy when viewing “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/13/science/bezos-shatner-star-trek.html">mother and Earth and comfort</a>” from space. Instead, he <a href="https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/william-shatner-space-boldly-go-excerpt-1235395113/">later wrote</a>, he struggled with “the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered”.</p> <p>Shatner attributed his experience to the Overview Effect.</p> <h2>Space flight has a huge environmental impact</h2> <p>Virgin Galactic promotes the Overview Effect on its <a href="https://www.virgingalactic.com/">homepage</a> as an experience exclusive to space flight.</p> <p>However, access is extremely costly. While an eager space tourist consents to parting with US$450,000 to experience a profound connection with Earth, the planet itself has no say in receiving the massive pollution a single trip produces.</p> <p>Rocket emissions impact Earth’s atmosphere, temperatures and the ozone layer at an unprecedented level. A <a href="https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1029/2021EF002612">2022 study</a> found space tourism produces black carbon particles that are almost 500 times more efficient at warming the atmosphere than all surface and airline sources of soot combined.</p> <p>After being released into the upper atmosphere, the black carbon particles circulate for <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/27/how-blue-origin-spacex-virgin-galactic-space-race-could-impact-the-atmosphere.html#:%7E:text=Experiencing%20a%20few%20minutes%20of,plane%20continuously%20for%20about%20three">four to five years</a> in a fine layer. This acts as a thin black umbrella <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/27/how-blue-origin-spacex-virgin-galactic-space-race-could-impact-the-atmosphere.html#:%7E:text=Experiencing%20a%20few%20minutes%20of,plane%20continuously%20for%20about%20three">absorbing solar radiation while blocking it from reaching Earth’s surface</a>.</p> <p>A 1.5-hour Virgin Galactic flight generates emissions <a href="https://www.nsr.com/space-com-the-rise-of-space-tourism-could-affect-earths-climate-in-unforeseen-ways-scientists-worry/">equivalent to a ten-hour trans-Atlantic commercial air flight</a>. However, the latter carries hundreds of passengers. With a passenger limit of six, a Virgin Galactic launch <a href="https://theconversation.com/tourisme-spatial-quand-les-plaisirs-de-quelques-uns-polluent-la-planete-de-tous-146552">emits 4.5 tonnes of carbon <em>per person</em></a>. That’s more than twice the Paris Agreement’s recommended annual individual carbon budget.</p> <p>Space tourism rocket launches don’t currently compare to commercial airline flights in number. But the suborbital transportation and space tourism market is expected to be worth <a href="https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/outlook-on-the-sub-orbital-transportation-and-space-tourism-global-market-to-2031---featuring-blue-origin-spacex-and-virgin-galactic-among-others-301333701.html">US$2.58 billion by 2031</a>. It’s growing at an annual rate of 17.15%.</p> <p>Virgin Galactic is aiming to launch <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2020/11/06/virgin-galactic-each-spaceport-is-1-billion-annual-revenue-opportunity.html">400 space tourism flights every year</a>.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1SJ1ENmfgmE?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">In this video on its website, Virgin Galactic uses the Overview Effect to promote its space tourism business.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Caring for Earth doesn’t depend on space flight</h2> <p>The desirability of the Overview Effect is not the overwhelming emotions experienced when witnessing Earth from space. As was evident in Shatner’s feelings of immense grief, these emotions are not always pleasant.</p> <p>Instead, researchers, astronauts and space philosophers are interested in the spontaneous and powerful awareness that occurs. Astronauts’ accounts of the moment vary, but a consistent theme emerges: a connection to planet Earth that inspires environmental care.</p> <p>Importantly, such clarity can be achieved without a suborbital space flight.</p> <p><a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/The_Overview_Effect/3a2rz-s3JJsC?hl=en">Frank White argues</a> that, while viewing Earth from space produces the “ultimate” Overview Effect, it might also be had while looking at landscapes from a great height – such as a mountain range. Commercial pilots flying at high altitudes have experienced similar phenomena.</p> <p>And for those considering a Virgin Galactic flight, there are no guarantees. Many astronauts with long careers <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fcns0000086">report</a> never experiencing the Overview Effect.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=600&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=755&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=755&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/530799/original/file-20230608-27-brv39q.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=755&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="View of whole Earth photographed by the orbiting Apollo 17 mission and dubbed 'Blue Marble'" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Being able to see the whole Earth from space was regarded as a transformative moment, but people can have environmental epiphanies without flying into space.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.nasa.gov/content/blue-marble-image-of-the-earth-from-apollo-17">NASA/Apollo 17</a></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Environmental epiphanies happen on Earth</h2> <p>Spontaneous clarity about the importance of nature can occur while standing on solid ground. “<a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/26506666#:%7E:text=The%20working%20definition%20of%20Environmental,shifts%20in%20a%20meaningful%20manner.">Environmental epiphanies</a>” are well documented and have no connection to specific religious or cultural beliefs.</p> <p>Involving profound emotions and sudden awareness similar to the Overview Effect, environmental epiphanies can be accessed for free in mundane locations – such as reading a book at home.</p> <p>And, like the Overview Effect, environmental epiphanies can lead to lasting change.</p> <p>As space tourism continues to “take off”, misaligned marketing tactics like Virgin Galactic’s promotion of the Overview Effect must be scrutinised.</p> <p>Being launched into space – and the massive pollution the process creates – isn’t necessary for us to want to sustain our Earth.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206868/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ariane-moore-1060920">Ariane Moore</a>, PhD Candidate in Philosophy, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-tasmania-888">University of Tasmania</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/virgin-galactics-use-of-the-overview-effect-to-promote-space-tourism-is-a-terrible-irony-206868">original article</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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"This is terrible": Woman halts TV interview until her name is pronounced correctly

<p>Former editor and commentator Dawn Neesom was put on blast by Shola Mos-Shogbamimu for mispronouncing her name on TV.</p> <p>The exchange happened on Channel 5’s<em> Jeremy Vine</em> show where Ms Neesom was presenting as a host.</p> <p>Dr Shola appeared on the panel to talk about stories and current issues.</p> <p>When the introductions began, there was an error which was quickly highlighted.</p> <p>Dawn said, “I am absolutely thrilled to be joined by lawyer Dr Shola” but then struggled to pronounce her surname and asked her, “How do I pronounce your name Shola?”</p> <p>The lawyer replied, “'Read it my darling, read it.”</p> <p>Dawn made another attempt but appeared to have mispronounced it again.</p> <p>Dr Shola, appearing amused, said, “This is terrible, especially from a presenter.”</p> <p>Dawn was then instructed by her to pronounce it phonetically, saying “Shola Mos Shog Bam Imu.”</p> <p>Dr Shola responded, “Do it again.”</p> <p>Dawn went on to say “Oh come on, I got the Shola right” but Dr Shola said, "Do it again and do it phonetically.”</p> <p>When she again mispronounced it, Dr Shola said “You just missed the B try again”</p> <p>Dawn, proceeded to put her hand on her face said, “'Shola, Shola welcome to the show!”</p> <p>Dr Shola then told her, “No you will say my name and read it phonetically,”</p> <p>Dawn attempted to say her name again, this time nearly correct and Dr Shola said, “It's Shogbamimu but well done.”</p> <p>The exchange was posted online and both parties tweeted about it.</p> <p>Dawn explained, “The most fun with the best panel this morning. That's what three hours sleep does for you.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">The most fun with the best panel this morning <a href="https://twitter.com/JeremyVineOn5?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@JeremyVineOn5</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Extra?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Extra</a> 😂 That's what three hours sleep does for you🤪 Thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/thecarolemalone?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@thecarolemalone</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/SholaMos1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@SholaMos1</a> for being such great sports &amp; to all the excellent callers today 🙏 Back from more fun &amp; games live tomorrow 9.15 sharp. The… <a href="https://t.co/dSVUvBrN3H">https://t.co/dSVUvBrN3H</a></p> <p>— Dawn Neesom (@DawnNeesom) <a href="https://twitter.com/DawnNeesom/status/1656286485547737088?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 10, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>Dr Shola retweeted the video but added no comment.</p> <p>The lawyer, who recently wrote an anti-racism book called This Is Why I Resist, spoke about Meghan Markle’s decision to not attend the coronation.</p> <p>Speaking to <em>GMD</em>, she said, “I think Meghan's decision to say no to the most powerful family in Britain and to say no to the most talked about party in town is both admirable and inspiring.</p> <p>“What Meghan is doing is exercising the power of no that comes from a place of self-worth, growth, maturity and self preservation.”</p> <p>When asked if it was because Meghan “didn’t feel welcome” in the UK, she responded “I don't think that's the case here.</p> <p>"I think that any wife out there that has bad in-laws like Meghan has with the Royal Family can deduce that she has drawn a line in the sand. She is saying I will attend royal events, but on my own terms.</p> <p>“But what is more powerful is that Meghan is telling the whole world that I am rejecting any notion that because I married into the Royal Family I should be bait for toxicity, rage and abuse.</p> <p>“She is saying to society as a whole: you don't get to tell me who I should be as a woman, as a mother and as a wife."</p> <p><em>Image credit: Instagram</em></p>

TV

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Bridgerton’s Adjoa Andoh responds to backlash for “terribly white” coronation comment

<p dir="ltr">A star of the stage and screen, Adjoa Andoh HonFRSL, made waves around the world with her comments on the royal family’s post-coronation balcony appearance. </p> <p dir="ltr">Coverage of King Charles III’s coronation was available around the world from numerous providers, but it was the comments <em>Bridgerton </em>star Adjoa Andoh made during ITV’s extensive coverage in the UK that set the internet ablaze. </p> <p dir="ltr">To kick off their day, the network broadcast a special edition of their <em>Good Morning Britain</em> show, with a programme hosted by Tom Bradby and Julie Etchingham to follow. </p> <p dir="ltr">Their show saw them welcome a whole host of guests - including but not limited to reporters out on The Mall for the day’s festivities. Their coverage was going as planned until they cut to their temporary studio for the royals stepping out onto Buckingham Palace’s balcony.</p> <p dir="ltr">Bradby and Etchingham asked for thoughts from their guests, and it was then that Andoh shared her take, noting that “we have gone from the rich diversity of the Abbey to a terribly white balcony. I am very struck by that.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I am also looking at those younger generations and thinking ‘what are the nuances that they will inhabit when they grow?’”</p> <p dir="ltr">A clip from the show went viral on Twitter soon after it was uploaded, where it was met with mixed - and loud - response. </p> <p dir="ltr">The comment stunned the ITV presenters, and Myleene Klass was seen staring at the actor as she spoke.</p> <p dir="ltr">The clip was later shared on Twitter, where it received a mixed response. Some people criticised Andoh for her words, while others applauded her for speaking out.</p> <p dir="ltr">Dozens raced to submit complaints to OFCOM, claiming that Andoh’s take had stemmed from racist ideals, while others rose to her defence, thanking her for speaking out. </p> <p dir="ltr">As author and activist Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu wrote, Andoh “told no lies in factual observation of ‘terribly White’ (literal &amp; symbolic) Buckingham palace balcony at #Coronation in contrast to tokenism of race diversity at Westminster Abbey &amp; got branded ‘racist’”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, conservative commentator Darren Grimes demanded to know “why is it ok to dismiss a white family for being white?”</p> <p dir="ltr">They were only two of such comments flooding social media, and were the exact kind Andoh addressed in her next public appearance, when she joined Paddy O’Connnell on <em>BBC Radio 4</em>. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I think I upset a few people yesterday,” she noted. “I was talking about the day and how marvellous it was, and then looking at the balcony at the end and suddenly going ‘oh, it’s so white!’ because the day had been so mixed, and I didn’t mean to upset anybody.”</p> <p dir="ltr">However, it wasn’t quite enough to stem the tide of feedback, while users all across Twitter taking sides, and sharing their opinion on the latest round of comment. </p> <p dir="ltr">“There's an old saying: "Think before you speak". Andoh thought about it and said it anyway,” one said. “Spare us the crocodile tears. You knew exactly what you meant.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She said the right thing they didn’t want to hear instead of the white thing they did want to hear,” another wrote. “The firm had an extraordinary opportunity to show progress and inclusion, not to mention the perfect ambassadors for the Commonwealth - and they ran them out of town.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

TV

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Elizabeth Strout’s Lucy By the Sea: a claustrophobic portrait of a terrible pandemic year

<p>In her latest novel, Lucy by the Sea, Elizabeth Strout captures the bewilderment of us all at the onset of the pandemic. Her character Lucy Barton admits not only did she not see it coming, but even when she did notice the virus’s existence, she did not really believe it would ever reach New York.</p> <p>It is March, 2020, and Lucy, a writer, had been scheduled to travel to Italy and Germany, a book tour which she had, with fortuitous prescience, cancelled back in December. Lucy is a woman who is given to sudden flashes of insight – much like her mother, who was known for having “visions” – which is why, looking back at those early days of the pandemic, not having sensed its threat surprises her.</p> <p>Even when her ex-husband William’s oldest friend is put on a ventilator and subsequently dies, it is still difficult for her to accept that this is happening to people she knows. With hindsight, Lucy remarks: “It’s odd how the mind does not take in anything until it can.”</p> <p>William has been quicker to spot the looming danger. He pleads with their two daughters Becka and Chrissy to leave New York city with their husbands, before hastily scooping up Lucy from her apartment and carrying her away to the town of Crosby on the coast of Maine.</p> <p>At this point in the book, devotees of Strout’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel Olive Kitteridge, will experience a shiver of recognition and anticipation, for the fictional coastal town of Crosby is “Olive territory”. With this one deft move, Strout draws together the separate threads of much of the fiction she has written since Olive Kitteridge was published in 2008.</p> <p>Before establishing herself as a successful writer in New York, Lucy Barton’s territory was the small Midwest town of Amgash, Illinois. The deprivation of her Amgash childhood has haunted Lucy through Strout’s earlier novels, My Name is Lucy Barton, and Oh William! (the latter now <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-10-01/booker-prize-shortlist-best-books-2022/101482730" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shortlisted for the 2022 Booker Prize</a>) and in two of the short stories in Anything is Possible. Now it continues to tug at her in the house beside the sea in Maine.</p> <p>In My Name is Lucy Barton, Lucy is told by a writer she admires:</p> <blockquote> <p>You will have only one story … You’ll write your one story many ways don’t ever worry about story. You will have only one.</p> </blockquote> <p>The story Lucy has to tell, over and over, and in many different ways, is the story of her childhood, its poverty and isolation, and her complex relationship with a mother who was unable to tell her own child that she loved her.</p> <p>Even as an adult, Lucy does not know her mother’s story. In Lucy by the Sea she has invented for herself a “nice mother” she can talk to in private as distinct from the real mother with whom the silences that fell between them were necessarily more poignant than words.</p> <h2>Emotional lockdown</h2> <p>Locked down in a house on a cliff with a view of the waves, Lucy and William endeavour to fill their days. Lucy struggles to read, and as for writing, she believes she will never write another word. This sense of being frozen and unable to concentrate was all too common at that uncertain and anxiety-inducing point in the pandemic, especially among writers. But for Lucy there is the realisation that this is a state she recognises, having spent her childhood in a kind of emotional lockdown.</p> <p>In Maine, unable to retreat into the activities that usually soothe her, Lucy is also grieving for her husband David, a cellist with the New York Philharmonic, who has died only a year earlier. William, too, is unexpectedly single since his wife, Estelle, walked out and took their daughter Bridget, along with a good bit of their furniture.</p> <p>With no escape from the monotony of their self-isolation, Lucy, who in ordinary circumstances is endearingly quick to declare her love – especially for people – finds herself continually finding things to hate: she hates being in other people’s houses, hates the smell; she hates being cold, but hates sitting inside a house with a coat on; she hates the jigsaw puzzle of Van Gogh William insists they try; she hates snow, and she hates William after dinner when she suspects he is not really listening to her. With extraordinary patience, William tells Lucy to stop hating everything.</p> <p>To make matters worse, far from being welcome in Maine, some locals are so antagonistic towards the couple that a message urging them to go back to New York is anonymously attached to their car. Then, on a visit to a grocery store, a woman shouts at Lucy: “You goddamn New Yorkers! Get the hell out of our state!”</p> <p>When Lucy reproaches William for not being nice to her after the woman yelled, William, becoming uncharacteristically emotional, answers that hers is the life he has wanted to save.</p> <blockquote> <p>‘My own life I care very little about these days. But Lucy, if you should die from this, it would –’ He shook his head with weariness. ‘I only wanted to save your life, and what if some woman yelled at you.’</p> </blockquote> <p>When their daughters experience difficulties – one still in New York, the other in Connecticut – Lucy and William must support them as best they can from Maine. Many readers will recognise the torment of handling family crises at arm’s length, and of not being able to hug loved ones even when distance is finally overcome.</p> <h2>Not Olive</h2> <p>Elizabeth Strout has captured perfectly the fear, frustration, and boredom experienced by so many of us during the first year of Covid. Even her fragmentary writing style adds authenticity to a time when few of us could concentrate, when we flicked from news broadcast to news broadcast, to tallies of the latest case numbers, and deaths, while feeling that the very air we breathed carried risk.</p> <p>Among Strout fans Lucy Barton is a much-loved character, but it is Olive Kitteridge who has most often made headlines, with the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3012698/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">television mini-series</a> based on the book, starring Frances McDormand, winning multiple awards. The polarising nature of Olive’s character stirs a strong response in readers, whereas the more reticent Lucy speaks quietly, like someone whispering in the reader’s ear.</p> <p>Strout’s extraordinary achievement as a writer has been to illuminate so many flawed, ordinary, yet far from unremarkable lives, through a series of interconnected stories and novels. Though each book is complete, they work satisfyingly together as a cohesive whole, so that reading them we come to know not just a handful of characters but entire communities in a few small towns on the coast of Maine, and in New York and Illinois.</p> <p>Olive Kitteridge and its sequel are elegantly wrought, with their third-person (and at times omniscient) point of view allowing for more nuanced storytelling. Lucy Barton’s intimate, first-person voice in the reader’s ear, with its tendency to speak in run-on sentences that often end with ‘"… is what I mean"’ or “‘… is what I’m saying"’, can become tiresome.</p> <p>In the end, one feels as if one has spent a year in lockdown inside the head of a small, loving, anxious, slightly neurotic person named Lucy Barton.</p> <p>Lucy By the Sea is a pitch-perfect portrait of a terrible year, and oh, how sweet it is to get out and about, to breathe fresh air, and to see the world from other, less claustrophobic angles, both for Lucy Barton and the reader.</p> <p><strong>This article originally appeared in <a href="https://theconversation.com/elizabeth-strouts-lucy-by-the-sea-a-claustrophobic-portrait-of-a-terrible-pandemic-year-191073" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</strong></p> <p><em>Images: Yahoo/Penguin</em></p>

Books

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Woman makes a “terrible mistake” in the middle of her wedding

<p dir="ltr">A woman shocked a wedding crowd when she said she had made a “terrible mistake” just as the officiant finished his speech - and before the final vows. </p> <p dir="ltr">Becky Jefferies was ecstatic for her special day after postponing the wedding multiple times due to Covid. </p> <p dir="ltr">But she and now husband Sherif Fayed finally made it to the end of the aisle and were minutes away from being married - however, something just had to go wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">Being ever so polite, Becky waited for the officiant to complete his speech before grabbing the microphone and announcing that she made a “terrible mistake”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Anyone in their right mind would have asked why she waited for the wedding to announce it – but it’s not what you would expect.</p> <p dir="ltr">In fact, Becky had made it down the aisle only to realise at the end that she was missing half her dress! </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdLl9DLj6Ji/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdLl9DLj6Ji/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Becky Jefferies (@jetsetbecks)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">"As soon as I realised what happened there was no question in my mind that I was going to grab the mic. I just wanted to wait until the officiant finished his speech," she wrote on Instagram.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I also knew that my husband would have told me I was crazy for not stopping the ceremony if I hadn't done it."</p> <p dir="ltr">Becky shared the hilarious footage to <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@jetsetbecks/video/7094252391272320258?is_copy_url=1&amp;is_from_webapp=v1&amp;lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TikTok</a> which shows her looking behind at her wedding planner and mouthing something while also pointing to her waist.</p> <p dir="ltr">The officiant stopped talking when she grabbed the microphone saying: “Pause for a moment…I just realised when I got to the end of the aisle that I'm missing half my dress.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Maybe I could put it on now?” she asked the laughing audience. </p> <p dir="ltr">"I'm not kidding, two nights ago I had a dream that I did this, that I walked down the aisle without it."</p> <p dir="ltr">The video then cuts to show the wedding planner rushing down the aisle with the missing half of the dress and assisting Becky to put it on.</p> <p dir="ltr">The video has been viewed more than 28 million times and received a whopping four million likes. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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Why James Bond would make a terrible spy in real life

<p>James Bond may have more than 60 years of experience saving the world from notorious villains, but he’d have a tough time getting a job in MI6 today, says Alex Younger, chief of Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service, in the <em>Guardian</em>. Apparently, there’s more to being an SIS officer than expensive cars, martinis and tuxedos.</p> <p>Even if Bond’s appreciation for the finer things in life were qualification enough, his recklessness on the job would likely cut his career short. “The violence, mayhem and death that seem to follow Bond wherever he goes are certainly one thing that would have gotten him early retirement from any reputable intelligence service long ago,” says Alexis Albion, the International Spy Museum‘s lead curator. “Also, his tendency to use his own name, lack of communication with headquarters, wanton waste of government resources, lack of discretion in his sexual dalliances … the list goes on.”</p> <p>In other words, James Bond would make a terrible spy.</p> <p>Think about it. It’s hard to be effective at espionage when everybody knows who you are. Agent 007 is the most famous spy in the world, yet he rarely wears a disguise and almost always uses his real name. Even if “Bond, James Bond” is actually a code name, why use it over and over again?</p> <p>Finally, 007 has a pretty terrible track record of getting captured by his enemies. Alec Trevelyan – aka Janus, from <em>GoldenEye</em> – even captured him twice! And how many times do you have to drink a poisoned beverage to learn that you shouldn’t consume anything given to you by your enemy? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Bond twice, shame on 007.</p> <p>There’s also Bond’s inability to stay under the radar. Real-life spies go out of their way not to draw attention to themselves. Bond, meanwhile, is a magnet for attention. Just look at the types of luxury vehicles he drives: Aston Martins, Audis, Bentleys, Rolls-Royces. They’re way too eye-catching, and probably too fast; Bond’s need for speed is yet another problem. To quote Q in <em>GoldenEye</em>, “Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.”</p> <p>Then there’s the simple fact that Bond is an alcoholic. British researchers report that 007’s weekly alcohol consumption is over four times the recommended limit for an adult male. They also suspect that Bond suffers from alcohol-induced hand tremors as a result of all that drinking. That could explain his preference that his vodka martinis be “shaken, not stirred,” when, in fact, they should be stirred, not shaken.</p> <p><em>Written by PJ Feinstein. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/why-james-bond-would-make-a-terrible-spy-in-real-life">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, here’s our best <a href="https://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&amp;utm_medium=articles&amp;utm_campaign=RDSUB&amp;keycode=WRN93V">subscription offer.</a></em></p>

Movies

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Fast fashion: how retailers can use pandemic to change our terrible relationship with clothes

<p>Even before the pandemic, the UK fashion retail industry <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43240996">was struggling</a>. John Lewis, M&amp;S and Debenhams had all announced losses, job cuts and store closures, while House of Fraser was taken over. Since lockdown, Oasis and Warehouse <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-52285231">have entered administration</a>, and John Lewis <a href="https://www.theweek.co.uk/106801/will-john-lewis-close-some-stores-permanently">has said</a> that not all its stores will reopen.</p> <p><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43240996">One of the challenges</a> for these retailers is cut throat price competition from international rivals like Primark and H&amp;M, and online retailers like Pretty Little Thing and Misguided. <a href="https://researchonline.gcu.ac.uk/en/publications/doing-it-for-the-kids-the-role-of-sustainability-in-family-consum">Low-price garments</a> became all the more attractive to consumers after their spending power was weakened by the financial crisis of 2007-09.</p> <p>This brought about the era of fast fashion – low quality clothes needing replaced more quickly, and consumers who see them as disposable. The price of these garments doesn’t reflect their true cost. It ignores both the workers who make them and the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/apr/07/fast-fashion-speeding-toward-environmental-disaster-report-warns">carbon footprint</a> from more production, more transportation and more landfill.</p> <p><strong>Rays of hope</strong></p> <p>At the turn of the year, there <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jan/01/fashion-climate-sustainability-greta-thunberg-i-d-gucci-zero-emissions-carbon-neutral">was a feeling</a> that sustainability might be moving back up the agenda. A surge of consumer protests, led by Extinction Rebellion and Greta Thunberg, seemed to herald a public desire for change. To <a href="https://www.ecowatch.com/fast-fashion-is-the-second-dirtiest-industry-in-the-world-next-to-big--1882083445.html">raise awareness</a> that fashion is the second-worst polluter after oil, Extinction Rebellion <a href="https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/extinction-rebellion-london-fashion-week-climate-change-protests">held a funeral</a> during London Fashion Week 2019.</p> <p>It seemed possible that consumers might be galvanised to shop more sustainably – especially given the extreme weather conditions of 2019, and fears that there are <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change-un-report-greenhouse-gases-carbon-dioxide-methane-sea-level-rise-global-warming-a8646426.html">just ten years left</a> to halt the irreversible consequences of climate change.</p> <p>Then came the pandemic. With many high street shops forced to suspend trading, the whole industry has been in flux. Brands like Primark and Matalan have <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/mar/27/put-earth-first-can-a-greener-fairer-fashion-industry-emerge-from-crisis">cancelled or suspended</a> orders in places like Bangladesh, causing some factories <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/apr/02/fashion-brands-cancellations-of-24bn-orders-catastrophic-for-bangladesh">to close</a>. There may have been <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200422-how-has-coronavirus-helped-the-environment">big environmental benefits</a> from the world at a standstill, but it will be little consolation to garment workers who are furloughed or jobless.</p> <p>Yet amidst <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/healthcare-systems-and-services/our-insights/beyond-coronavirus-the-path-to-the-next-normal">all this upheaval</a>, there is <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/mar/27/put-earth-first-can-a-greener-fairer-fashion-industry-emerge-from-crisis">an opportunity</a> for the fashion industry – both to help these workers and more broadly to put sustainability at the heart of their business.</p> <p>The decisions by fashion retailers like <a href="https://www.theindustry.fashion/burberry-retools-factory-to-make-non-surgical-gowns-and-masks-and-funds-vaccine-research/">Burberry</a> and <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/style/article/fashion-industry-masks-protective-equipment-covid-19/index.html">Prada</a> to divert into making medical gowns and masks for healthcare workers are a good starting point. If companies can make positive changes to help manage coronavirus, they can also address fast fashion.</p> <p>If, for example, companies paid garment workers the <a href="https://labourbehindthelabel.org/our-work/faqs/#1441884831979-53ad6cf0-86251441886042060">living wage</a> for their part of the world, they could use it in their marketing to garner a competitive advantage. Paying a living wage <a href="https://thefableists.wordpress.com/2014/04/03/tailored-wages-new-report-investigates-clothing-brands-work-on-living-wages/">doesn’t significantly increase</a> the cost of garments.</p> <p>Take the example of a T-shirt with a retail price of £29, for which the worker receives 0.6% or 18p. If that was doubled to 36p, it would not increase the overall price by very much. Paying a living wage <a href="https://labourbehindthelabel.org/our-work/faqs/#1441884831979-53ad6cf0-86251441886042060">should enable workers</a> in developing countries to afford nutritious food, clean water, shelter, clothes, education, healthcare and transport, while leaving some left over.</p> <p>One fashion entrepreneur that has developed a different way of helping garment workers during the pandemic is Edinburgh-based Cally Russell. He set up the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/may/30/lost-stock-its-like-buying-your-future-self-a-present">Lost Stock initiative</a>, which sells the garments from orders cancelled by UK fashion retailers by purchasing garments directly from manufacturers in Bangladesh.</p> <p><a href="https://loststock.com/pages/costs">A Lost Stock box</a> of clothes costs £39. Almost a third is donated to the Sajida Foundation, which is giving food and hygiene parcels to Bangladeshis struggling during the pandemic. For maximum transparency, Lost Stock also provides a price breakdown that outlines the costs to the manufacturer, the charity and the initiative itself.</p> <p><strong>Cool to care</strong></p> <p>Another tactic that fashion marketers could use is to encourage in consumers a similar cool-to-care ethos to that brought out by the pandemic – as seen with the UK’s weekly clapping for key workers, for example. Business in numerous sectors are already focusing their marketing message on supporting NHS workers to capitalise on this spirit of collective solidarity.</p> <p>Fashion marketers could channel people’s desire for self-gratification towards buying clothes that contribute to the social good. My <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/QMR-09-2019-0113/full/html">research illustrates</a> the discomfort consumers experience when aware of allegations of both garment-worker and environmental exploitation, so it should be possible for marketers to benefit from doing the reverse.</p> <p><a href="https://www.toms.com/">TOMS (Tomorrow’s Shoes)</a> is an example of a fashion business with giving at the core of its strategy: for every pair of shoes sold, a pair is donated to a child in need. Since 2006, 100 million pairs of shoes have been donated, and TOMS <a href="https://www.toms.com/about-toms">has since branched</a> into areas like eyewear.Another example is <a href="https://snagtights.com/pages/our-philosophy#:%7E:text=Sustainable,first%20fully%20bio%2Ddegradable%20tights.">Snag Tights</a>, which is supporting NHS frontline workers with a free pair of tights for every order placed. The company markets its tights as vegan friendly and free of plastic packaging, and is trying to develop the world’s first fully bio-degradable tights.</p> <p><strong>Swaps and seconds</strong></p> <p>One other trend that should definitely be encouraged is initiatives that expand the lifecycle of fashion and textiles. <a href="https://www.stylus.com/hmzhcg">London Fashion Week hosted</a> a fashion swap shop in February for the first time. Similarly, the flagship Selfridges store on London’s Oxford Street <a href="https://www.retail-week.com/fashion/selfridges-opens-second-hand-clothing-boutique/7033360.article?authent=1">began selling</a> second-hand luxury fashion and high-end brands with resale site Vestiaire Collective in 2019.</p> <p>There has also <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2018/dec/22/fashion-libraries-ethical-clothing-borrowing">been a rise</a> in fashion libraries that rent fashion garments and accessories, allowing consumers affordable access to higher quality and luxury items. Fashion retailers could move in this direction, while also supporting customers by hosting workshops for upcycling garments into something new.</p> <p>In sum, the fashion industry should take advantage of the pandemic pause and the current mood to show constructive leadership to the global economy. It should use its power to help change our relationship with clothing into something more equal and sustainable for the long term.</p> <p><em>Written by Elaine Ritch. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/fast-fashion-how-retailers-can-use-pandemic-to-change-our-terrible-relationship-with-clothes-140210">The Conversation.</a> </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Terrible or understandable? Mother admits she regrets picking “bland” baby name

<p><span>Picking a baby name is not an easy task, especially since the perfect moniker can take months to resonate and stick with a set of nervous soon-to-be parents.</span><br /><br /><span>Rushing into making a decision can often result in a very regretful conscience - a feeling one displeased mother admits she knows all too well.</span><br /><br /><span>She took to mumsnet to share her own story of true regret over choosing a “bland” name for her daughter who is now four-years-old.</span><br /><br /><span>Her and her husband named their precious little girl Lily, which is a name the father really liked, but the mum was never quite so keen on.</span><br /><br /><span>She said: "I obviously wouldn't change it now but I can't seem to get over regretting what we called daughter, who is now four.</span><br /><br /><span>"Husband is a teacher and very picky about names. Her name is Lily. I did used to love it, but had reservations about popularity."</span><br /><br /><span>The regretful mum says her husband "assured" her that the name wasn't a very popular one when the baby was born and that he hardly taught any girls named Lily.</span><br /><br /><span>It might have been unknown years ago, however the mother says she feels like she hears it everywhere she goes nowadays. </span><br /><br /><span>"She is one of three at nursery and I have waves of being ok with it but right now I feel I am obsessing over it, which I realise is pointless and in the grand scheme of things I know very trivial," continues the parent.</span><br /><br /><span>"Perhaps it's a combination of lockdown meaning there is more time to dwell on things.</span><br /><br /><span>"I just find her name really bland now and regret not being more firm with other options (I generally like more unusual, but classic names)."</span><br /><br /><span>Other Mumsnet users took to reassuring the woman who they felt might be overreacting.</span><br /><br /><span>One person said: "Lily is lovely. You can never predict what names will be popular in a certain class/group.</span><br /><br /><span>“Sometimes you end up with one Oliver and three Horatios or something! She's not always going to be in a big group of Lilys."</span><br /><br /><span>Another added: "Names always come in fashions. It is a pretty name and not at all like the 'unusual' ones that children really hate.</span><br /><br /><span>“Please don't regret this name, you only have to look at the baby names posts on here to see what parents are saddling their children with, learn to love it, she is her name."</span><br /><br /><span>A third wrote: "In the nicest possible way, you really need to find a way to let this go. You can't change a four-year-old's name.</span><br /><br /><span>“So the only way forward is acceptance. Maybe you are obsessing because of all the other things in life we have lost control of, but you can't do anything about this.</span><br /><br /><span>“You need to find distractions to take the heat out of this."</span></p>

Family & Pets

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Quick-thinking airline attendant saves young girls from terrible fate

<p>A quick-thinking airline attendant has saved two teenage girls from a terrible fate, when they showed up at her counter with one-way flights and no identification.</p> <p>The duo, aged 17 and 15, turned up to Sacramento International Airport with two small bags and two first-class tickets to New York, booked by another person.</p> <p>Airline worker Denice Miracle knew something was wrong.</p> <p>“Between the two of them, they had a bunch of small bags. It seemed to me as if they were running away from home,” American Airlines worker Miracle said.</p> <p>“They kept looking at each other in a way that seemed fearful and anxious. I had a gut feeling that something just wasn’t right.”</p> <p>What she did next could have saved the girls’ lives.</p> <p>After refusing to let them board the plane, Ms Miracle called the police and explained the situation. Deputy Todd Sanderson soon arrived on the and talk to the girls.</p> <p>It didn’t take long to realise just how close they’d come to an unsightly fate.</p> <p>Sanderson found out the girls had met a man named “Drey” on Instagram, who’d purchased the tickets offering them $US2000 ($2530) to model and feature in music videos.</p> <p>“When I told them that they didn’t have a flight home, that’s when it kind of sunk in that maybe I was actually telling the truth,” Sanderson said.</p> <p>“In my opinion, what was going to happen was they were going to go back to New York and become victims of sex trafficking. They said they wouldn’t have let that happen, and I said they probably wouldn’t have had a choice.”</p> <p>Sanderson praised Miracle for her quick-thinking.</p> <p>“I fully believe she probably prevented these girls from becoming victims,” he said.</p> <p>What are your thoughts?</p>

Travel Trouble

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What to do if your cruise cabin neighbours are terrible

<p>Uh oh. If it looks like you’re going to be living in close quarters with some difficult neighbours, there’s a few things you can do.</p> <p><strong>Talk to them</strong></p> <p>We like to give people the benefit of the doubt – maybe your neighbours don’t know they are being really annoying. The first thing you should to is knock on the door and ask them very politely if they wouldn’t mind turning the TV down/not talking so loudly after midnight/whatever else it is that’s bothering you. If you want to avoid confrontation altogether, a note under the door can also work wonders.</p> <p><strong>Let your cabin steward know</strong></p> <p>There’s a good chance that you share a steward with your neighbours, so you can use them as a neutral go between. The steward doesn't even have to tell the other people who made the complaint. They can just remind them of the standards of behaviour for the ship and ask them to keep it down.</p> <p><strong>Speak to management</strong></p> <p>If things are unbearable, you may have to take things to the next level. Speak to one of the head crew members about the behaviour and ask what can be done. It may be that they will need to get security involved or that one of the groups will be required to move cabins. This is really a last resort, so before you escalate your problems to this level, be sure that it is genuinely warranted.</p> <p><strong>Take your own precautions</strong></p> <p>If nothing else can be done, then you might need to make your own changes. Invest in some ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones, play music in your own cabin and try to time your dinner or evening activities to coincide with the worst of the disturbances.</p>

Travel Trouble

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6 great Stephen King books turned into terrible movies

<p>Fifty-four novels, 350 million copies sold, nearly 200 short stories written – the prolific world of Stephen King has proved fertile ground for both the TV and movie world.</p> <p>But not everything this writing Midas has touched has turned to cinematic gold.</p> <p>With a new version of 1986 novel <em>It</em> wowing cinema audiences around the world, we thought it was a good time to look back at some of the worst adaptations of the King oeuvre on the big screen.</p> <p><strong>1. <em>Carrie</em></strong></p> <p>Nope, not the classic Sissy Spacek one, the terribly tween one launched in November 2013 and the one which starred Chloe Grace Moretz, fresh off the success of <em>Kick Ass</em>. All wide-eyed, open-mouthed, looking like she's permanently stubbed her toe as she wanders from one miserable encounter to the next, Moretz couldn't pull this together. </p> <p>While the telekinesis sequence at the prom ended up equal parts terrifying and balletic, I couldn't help but wish one of them would have hit me in the head to dull my senses. But alas, it did not, and another King-based misfire thudded into the cinema. – <strong>Darren Bevan</strong></p> <p><strong>2. <em>Cell</em></strong></p> <p>Samuel L Jackson and John Cusack had already successfully combined for 2007 King adaptation 1408.</p> <p>However, this 2016 effort deservedly basically went straight to on-demand, its premise of cell phone users being turned into rabid killers having already been executed to far better effect in 2015's Kingsman: The Secret Service. – <strong>James Croot</strong></p> <p><strong>3. <em>Dreamcatcher</em></strong></p> <p>While this 2003 sci-fi actioner boasts what would now be a dream cast – Morgan Freeman, Damian Lewis, Jason Lee, Donnie Wahlberg – what they collaborated on resulted in a nightmarishly unwatchable mess.</p> <p>Part of the problem lay in the original premise. What starts out as the tale of four friends with telepathic powers turns into an alien invasion movie of thudding ineptitude. Notable only for giving the world the word "s...weasel"  – coined by the characters as a nickname for the invading Byrum. –<strong> JC</strong></p> <p><strong>4. <em>Firestarter</em></strong></p> <p>Certainly not the finest two hours of Drew Barrymore, George C. Scott or Martin Sheen's career, this 1984 adaptation of King's 1980 pyrokinesis tale is mostly notable for taking a potentially interesting premise and turning it into something akin to watching paint dry.</p> <p>While the adults endlessly debate what should be done about little Charlie, Barrymore spends most of the movie screwing up her face in order to convey psychological powers. It's unknown whether James McAvoy used this as preparation for bringing to life Professor Charles Xavier decades later. – <strong>JC</strong></p> <p><strong>5. <em>The Lawnmower Man</em></strong></p> <p>Before he finally found his calling as 007, Pierce Brosnan struggled to make the transition from TV star to movies in clunkers like this 1992 sci-fi horror. He plays Dr Lawrence Angelo, a scientist who uses a human guinea pig for his experiments involving a combination of drugs and virtual reality.</p> <p>As well as boasting simply awful CGI (this was the year before <em>Jurassic Park</em> remember), the movie was also notable for bearing "no meaningful resemblance" to King's original 1987 short story, a fact the author himself brought up when he sued the producers for originally calling it Stephen King's <em>The Lawnmower Man</em>. –<strong> JC</strong></p> <p><strong>6. <em>Sleepwalkers</em></strong></p> <p>This 1992 duffer may have had an uncredited appearance from <em>Star Wars</em> alum Mark Hamill and King himself playing a caretaker in a cemetery (<em>Pet Cemetery</em> anyone?), but for many it'll be the film where cats laughably saved the day.</p> <p>Incorporating some guff about shape-shifting vampires, the film's decidedly silly tone clearly hadn't been passed on to the actors who were trying to take it seriously. Still, who knew vampires could be dispatched by some truly awful cat-got-your-tongue acting? – <strong>DB</strong></p> <p><em>Written by Darren Bevan and James Croot. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p>

Books

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4 steps to make up after a terrible fight

<p>Having a fight with someone you care about is awful. Here, ‘fight’ means one of those times when the disagreement is so strong that your belly fills with bubbling lava and you feel like you may never calm down enough to even see straight. Those times are trying for any relationship, and almost everyone experiences them at different stages in their lives.</p> <p>What’s important to remember is that a fight, no matter how vicious, does not have to mean the end of a relationship – as long as the weapons are words, if physical attacks are used at all, it’s time to say goodbye. Here are some helpful things you can do to help start the healing process once the fight has blown itself out.</p> <p><strong>1. Breathe deeply</strong> until you feel calm. Remember that you don’t have to shake hands as soon as the fight is over, but try to begin thinking about moving on. Do this by taking some deep breaths each time your brain starts to get worked up about the fight. While you’re concentrating on breathing, try to shift your perspective a little so you’re ready to heal.</p> <p><strong>2. Accept and apologise</strong> for anything you may have done wrong. It’s important to remember that you alone are responsible for your actions, and it’s up to you to take ownership for that. Don’t get carried away and accept the blame for the entire fight unless, after careful reflection, you truly feel that it was your doing. More often than not, however, it takes two to tango.</p> <p><strong>3. Sit down</strong> together with the person (or people) with whom you had the fight, and make a conscious effort to work out your issues. Be honest and frank during these discussions because if you don’t, you may just end up papering over a crack that needs more serious rehabilitation.</p> <p><strong>4. Move forward</strong> with maturity. Sometimes a fight reveals deep differences between people, and no amount of talking is going to change that. But the discovery of these differences need not mean the end of a relationship. If you cannot find common ground upon which you can stand, then make your truce upon the promise of, “agree to disagree”. This next part is vital – you <em>must</em> mean it. Your relationship won’t survive if you hold onto resentment and anger. It’s difficult, but you can do it if you put your mind to it.</p> <p>What’s your best tip for making up after a bad fight? Let us know in the comments below. </p>

Relationships

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7 times people were surprised by terrible TV home makeovers

<p>Home makeover shows have given us the good, the bad, and the ugly. And then some more ugly. Really, a whole lot of ugly. Things especially get out of hand when amateurs somehow find themselves with paintbrushes in their hands. The BBC show<em> Your Home in Their Hands</em> and the TLC show <em>Trading Spaces</em> have provided audiences with delight and horror after seeing home owners react to room makeovers that will make you grateful for your meagrely decorated home. </p> <p><strong>1. Pattern overload (see above)</strong></p> <p>On the BBC show Your Home in Their Hands, people entrust amateur designers to redecorate your house, which is their first mistake. This couple opened their door to reveal a headache-inducing amount of conflicting floral patterns and colours. They requested the designer be “locked in a cupboard”.</p> <p><strong>2. Orange you glad you can paint over this?</strong></p> <p>The TLC show Trading Spaces has given the world plenty of horrendous home designs, including this kitchen that is reminiscent of Donald Trump’s skin tone. The home owner has a mega-awkward breakdown right on camera. It looks like they won’t be asking their neighbours who did the paint job over to eat in their Nickelodeon-orange kitchen any time soon.</p> <p><iframe width="513" height="315" src="http://www.tlc.com/embed?page=113096" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><strong>3. The makeover that turned the owner’s world upside down</strong></p> <p>Not every reaction to a Trading Spaces room makeover is tragic. In this case, one partner was totally digging their new room and the other … well, not so much. The designer decided to go with the least practical home design ever and just hang furniture upside down off the ceiling. That will be fun to take down.</p> <p><iframe width="513" height="315" src="http://www.tlc.com/embed?page=113028" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><strong>4. A totally sketchy bedroom makeover gone wrong</strong></p> <p>In another episode of BBC’s Your Home in Their Hands, a family handed their keys over to amateur designers to decorate their home, but they may as well have given some crayons to a kindergartener and asked them to draw on the walls. The first room gets a lukewarm reception, but the second one (1:10 minutes in) is the doozy.</p> <p><iframe width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AaOqbzpPv5A?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p><strong>5. The living room design so bad the home owner had to leave the room to cry</strong></p> <p>This room is hardly the ugliest that Trading Spaces has ever done, but boy did the home owners hate it. The home owner even had to step off-camera to cry it out, but her microphone was still on, leaving viewers to hear her sobs from off-screen. Host Paige Davis is probably still cringing 14 years later.</p> <p><iframe width="400" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-4pVZlRbwtw?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p><strong>6. This home looks like something out of Little Shop of Horrors</strong></p> <p>“At this moment in time, I’m regretting it,” says the woman who just completely got her home renovated on Your Home in Their Hands. From the bizarre wall of fake greenery to a bedroom that looks like a John Waters-meets-Barbie playhouse nightmare, it is really hard to say anything nice about this design.</p> <p><iframe width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qCtTLGKjShc?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p><strong>7. The Pepto Bismol look, for when you want someone to hate your design</strong></p> <p>Just ask these dudes who gave their roommate a bedroom makeover when he was out of town for a week. They painted his walls a shade that would make Pepto Bismol​ look pale. Even though the room-mate was a relatively good sport about it, he did want to paint it back, to which the cameraman responded: “We’re going to help you paint it back … but after a little while.”</p> <p><iframe width="400" height="300" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yOPhX7Gxp-w?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p><strong><em>Written by April Lavalle. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Domain.com.au.</span></a></em></strong></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/tv/2016/09/5-most-exciting-shows-of-the-year-so-far/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 most exciting shows of the year so far</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/tv/2016/08/should-couples-have-a-tv-in-the-bedroom/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Should couples have a TV in the bedroom?</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/tv/2016/08/best-shows-of-the-70s/"><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>10 best TV shows of the 1970s</strong></span></em></a></p>

TV