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How to tell if your loved one is depressed

<p>Around one in 10 people suffer from depression and anxiety, meaning it’s likely at some stage in your life someone you know will be suffering and need your help. These are five of the less-obvious signs and symptoms that a friend or family member might be going through a hard time.</p> <p><strong>1. They seem exhausted all the time</strong></p> <p>Changes to a sleeping patterns can be a sign of depression, whether it’s not sleeping enough or sleeping too much.  </p> <p>Tip: Help your loved one by taking them out for the day to re-set their body clock.</p> <p><strong>2. They never want to socialise anymore</strong></p> <p>If your loved one is finding it difficult to leave the house and attend any social events, even for a catch-up over coffee, that they would normally enjoy, it could be a sign</p> <p>Tip: Recognise that at the time it is very hard for your loved one to go out and socialise. Reassure them that you’d love to catch-up with them, and if it does get too much that you’re happy to do something they’d be happy with.</p> <p><strong>3. They get frustrated at everything</strong></p> <p>Does your loved one seem to be losing their patience more than usual? Anger and irritability, more than usual, can be a sign of depression.</p> <p>Tip: Chat to your friend about their feelings of frustration and irritability. You will be better placed to see if it’s a passing mood or longer-term change.</p> <p><strong>4. Their appetite has changed</strong></p> <p>Whether your loved one is constantly and consistently “not hungry” or they’re eating a lot more than usual and gaining weight, changes in appetite are a common sign of depression.</p> <p>Tip: People living with depression are often exhausted, where the thought of making meals or even what to eat, can be an overwhelming decision. Help prepare some meals for your loved one.</p> <p><strong>5. They’ve suddenly lost self-confidence</strong></p> <p>A loss of self-confidence and self-esteem is a common sign of depression. When a loved one starts to feel like everything they do is rubbish, it can be difficult to feel otherwise.</p> <p>Tip: When a loved one says they feel useless, reassure them with specific examples and evidence that it’s not true at all.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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The body mass index can’t tell us if we’re healthy. Here’s what we should use instead

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-jefferson-buchanan-297850">Rachael Jefferson-Buchanan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p>We’ve known for some time the <a href="https://theconversation.com/using-bmi-to-measure-your-health-is-nonsense-heres-why-180412">body mass index (BMI) is an inaccurate measuring stick</a> for assessing someone’s weight and associated health. But it continues to be the go-to tool for medical doctors, population researchers and personal trainers.</p> <p>Why is such an imperfect tool still being used, and what should we use instead?</p> <h2>First, what is BMI?</h2> <p>BMI is an internationally recognised screening method for sorting people into one of four weight categories: underweight (BMI less than 18.5), normal weight (18.5 to 24.9), overweight (25.0 to 29.9) or obese (30 or greater).</p> <p>It’s a value <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/index.html">calculated</a> by a measure of someone’s mass (weight) divided by the square of their height.</p> <h2>Who invented BMI?</h2> <p>Belgian mathematician <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Adolphe-Quetelet">Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet</a> (1796-1874) devised the BMI in 1832, as a mathematical model to chart the average Western European man’s <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17890752/">physical characteristics</a>.</p> <p>It was initially called the <a href="https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-au/professional/multimedia/clinical-calculator/body-mass-index-quetelets-index">Quetelet Index</a> and was never meant to be used as a medical assessment tool. The Quetelex Index was renamed the “body mass index” in 1972.</p> <h2>What’s wrong with the BMI?</h2> <p>Using a mathematical formula to give a full picture of someone’s health is just not possible.</p> <p>The BMI <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/index.html">does not measure excess body fat</a>, it just measures “excess” weight. It does not distinguish between excess body fat or bone mass or musculature, and does not interpret the distribution of fat (which <em>is</em> a <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/abdominal-fat-and-what-to-do-about-it">predictor</a> of health, including type 2 diabetes, metabolic disorders, and heart disease).</p> <p>It also cannot tell the difference between social variables such as sex, age, and ethnicity. Given Quetelet’s formula used only Western European men, the findings are not appropriate for many other groups, including non-European ethnicities, post-menopausal women and pregnant women.</p> <p>The medical profession’s <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37432007/">overreliance on BMI</a> may be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2930234/">harming patients’ health</a> as it ignores much of what makes us healthy and focuses only on mass.</p> <h2>What should we use instead?</h2> <p>Rather than seeing BMI as the primary diagnostic test for determining a person’s health, it should be used in conjunction with other measures and considerations.</p> <p>Since researchers know belly fat around our vital organs carries the most <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/370/bmj.m3324">health risk</a>, <a href="https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/obesity-prevention-source/obesity-definition/how-to-measure-body-fatness/">waist circumference</a>, waist-to-hip ratio or waist-to-height ratio offer more accurate measurements of health.</p> <p><strong>Waist circumference</strong>: is an effective measure of fat distribution, particularly for athletes who carry less fat and more muscle. It’s most useful as a predictor of health when <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7027970/">combined with the BMI</a>. Waist circumference should be less than 94cm for men and 80cm for women for <a href="https://www.heartfoundation.org.au/bundles/your-heart/waist-measurement">optimal health</a>, as measured from halfway between the bottom of your ribs and your hip bones.</p> <p><strong>Waist-to-hip ratio</strong>: calculates the proportion of your body fat and how much is stored on your waist, hips, and buttocks. It’s the waist measurement divided by hip measurement and according to the World Health Organisation it should be <a href="https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/handle/10665/44583/9789241501491_eng.pdf;jsessionid=A119D165CFFF5E7B5BDBD51D9DD25684?sequence=1">0.85 or less for women, and 0.9 or less in men</a> to reduce health risks. It’s especially beneficial in predicting health outcomes in <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40200-021-00882-4">older people</a>, as the ageing process alters the body proportions on which BMI is founded. This is because fat mass increases and muscle mass decreases with age.</p> <p><strong>Waist-to-height ratio</strong>: is height divided by waist circumference, and it’s <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/news/article/keep-the-size-of-your-waist-to-less-than-half-of-your-height-updated-nice-draft-guideline-recommends">recommended</a> a person’s waist circumference be kept at less than half their height. Some studies have found this measure is <a href="https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/6/3/e010159">most strongly correlated</a> with health predictions.</p> <p>Body composition and body fat percentage can also be calculated through <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1A9m0wO17g">skinfold measurement tests</a>, by assessing specific locations on the body (such as the abdomen, triceps or quadriceps) with skin callipers.</p> <p>Additional ways to gauge your heart health include asking your doctor to monitor your cholesterol and blood pressure. These more formal tests can be combined with a review of lifestyle, diet, physical activity, and family medical history.</p> <h2>What makes us healthy apart from weight?</h2> <p>A diet including whole grains, low fat protein sources such as fish and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legume">legumes</a>, eggs, yoghurt, cheese, milk, nuts, seeds, and plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-disease/in-depth/heart-healthy-diet/art-20047702">reduces our risk</a> of heart and vessel disease.</p> <p>Limiting <a href="https://www.foodstandards.gov.au/consumer/generalissues/Pages/processed-foods.aspx">processed food</a> and sugary snacks, as well as <a href="https://www.sahealth.sa.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/public+content/sa+health+internet/healthy+living/healthy+eating/healthy+eating+tips/eat+less+saturated+and+trans+fats">saturated and trans fats</a> can help us with weight management and ward off diet-related illnesses.</p> <p>Being physically active most days of the week improves general health. This <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/topics/physical-activity-and-exercise/physical-activity-and-exercise-guidelines-for-all-australians">includes</a> two sessions of strength training per week, and 2.5 to five hours of moderate cardio activity or 1.25 to 2.5 hours of vigorous cardio activity.</p> <p>Weight is just one aspect of health, and there are much better measurements than BMI.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/211190/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-jefferson-buchanan-297850"><em>Rachael Jefferson-Buchanan</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Human Movement Studies (Health and PE) and Creative Arts, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-body-mass-index-cant-tell-us-if-were-healthy-heres-what-we-should-use-instead-211190">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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How do I tell my kids we are currently short on money – without freaking them out?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-sharman-96073">Rachael Sharman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a></em></p> <p>I was a teenager during Australia’s 1990s “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/nov/17/remembering-the-recession-the-1990s-experience-changed-my-view-of-the-world">recession we had to have</a>”, and remember clearly a friend asking his dad for some money to go to the movies.</p> <p>With equal parts frustration and resignation, the dad explained he’d been retrenched and wasn’t certain employment was on the horizon in his near future. So he really didn’t have any spare money for cinema tickets.</p> <p>Rather than being scary or upsetting, as rather clueless teenagers this felt like something of a lightbulb moment.</p> <p>Many kids learn about their parents financial difficulties this way. Something they’ve always been able to have is suddenly denied them. The penny drops.</p> <p>But it’s not easy talking to your kids about the cost-of-living crunch. Many fear worrying their kids or leaving them with a lifelong “scarcity mindset”, where a person is forever cursed with a feeling spending money is always wrong.</p> <p>So how can parents communicate the financial realities to their children? And how might the messaging be different with younger kids versus teens?</p> <h2>For younger kids, keep things calm and simple</h2> <p>Most primary-aged children are oblivious to macro conditions outside their home and immediate community. They haven’t yet developed the ability to put sudden changes into perspective.</p> <p>The key here is not to have your own anxieties rub off on your kids.</p> <p>Children this age look to their parents as beacons of information and will very much <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2794157">mirror</a> any fear or anxiety you express. They may even blow things out of proportion.</p> <p>Keeping things calm and simple is key.</p> <p>Provide a basic explanation that things cost money, and you don’t have as much money as normal right now, so as a family there are certain things you just can’t afford.</p> <p>Very young children can be relentlessly narcissistic in their outlook – this is developmentally normal.</p> <p>They might even demand you work more or harder so they can afford their desired items and activities. The best you can do is laugh it off and offer to try – but explain that for now, the kids will have to come up with something else to do.</p> <p>Consider a plan to substitute their previous activities with free ones. For example, explain they can’t play their usual sport this season, but you are going to head to the local park every week to kick the ball around and have a picnic instead.</p> <h2>Ask teens for their opinions and ideas</h2> <p>Depending on their intrinsic interest in the news and understanding of maths, finance and economics, a sudden and unexpected drop in finances may also come as a shock to teenagers.</p> <p>But at around 12 years of age, children undergo somewhat of an explosion in <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3621648/">frontal lobe function</a>. Their capacity to comprehend and process even complex information increases quite markedly.</p> <p>So teens may not only understand your current situation, but be able to help out.</p> <p>Giving teens a “role” to play in assisting the family builds a sense of competence and offers a team-based problem-solving approach to the emotional concerns they may be feeling. In other words, they’ll feel less powerless.</p> <p>This approach is underpinned by what psychologists and researchers call “<a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/theory/">self-determination theory</a>”.</p> <p>This well-studied concept posits that most humans have an innate need to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>experience and demonstrate autonomy (making your own choices, acting on your own volition)</p> </li> <li> <p>competence (feeling like you’re good at something, have achieved something worthwhile)</p> </li> <li> <p>relatedness (working well with others, especially people important to you).</p> </li> </ul> <p>So working as a team towards a common goal is a great way for a family to pull together and help each others’ mental wellbeing.</p> <p>Discuss with your teens what activities, events and items might need to go on the backburner or be discontinued.</p> <p>And don’t forget, teens have a very well-honed hypocrisy radar – there’s no point suggesting they cut back on recreational activities, for example, if you are not willing to do the same.</p> <p>Use this as an opportunity to discuss the difference between “wants” and “needs” and ask them to sort family spending into those categories. Discuss points of disagreement calmly.</p> <p>Ask your teens to brainstorm ways to improve your financial efficiency – and help you in doing so. They might enjoy coming up with ideas such as grocery shopping with a strict meal plan in cheaper stores, looking for specials, riding or walking to school where possible, getting a part time job or helping out with childcare.</p> <p>Rather than fixating on what we have to go without, work with your teenagers to come up with proactive ideas on what you can do differently. Frame it as working together to achieve the same aim.</p> <p>Teach your kids there can be challenges in life, but how you go about managing them is the key. This will help them develop into resilient adults.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208008/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-sharman-96073">Rachael Sharman</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-tell-my-kids-we-are-currently-short-on-money-without-freaking-them-out-208008">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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How to tell people about your divorce

<p>While it may not be the most pleasant topic of conversation, if you’re in the midst of a separation or divorce you’ll eventually have to tell your nearest and dearest (and some relative strangers) that you are no longer part of a couple. There’s a strong chance that many of us would rather have a tooth pulled than sit down with friends and family and announce that our marriage has ended but putting off the inevitable never ends well. A lack of transparency can make it difficult to move forward while also placing you in the uncomfortable position of having to tell people at an awkward moment down the track when you may have been divorced for months but the news comes as a complete shock to them as they’re hearing it for the first time. Having a strategy for approaching conversations can be helpful, here’s what the experts recommend.</p> <p><strong>1. Tell your close friends first</strong></p> <p>There’s a strong possibility they are abreast of the situation already, at least to some extent. Sharing the official news however allows you to start the grieving process and move slowly towards closure. Your closest friends are the ones most likely to be there for you as your life changes and it’s important to let them in and lean on their support.</p> <p><strong>2. Share with your family</strong></p> <p>It can be difficult to share with your loved ones that a relationship they may have been part of for years has ended. Telling your children should be of utmost importance. Whether you do that individually or as a group is completely up to you but having an honest conversation and allowing both you and them to grieve is essential.</p> <p><strong>3. Work</strong></p> <p>While it’s not always necessary to share the minutia of your life with your workplace, you may need to fill your immediate manager in on what’s happened. Likewise, if you work within a very close knit team or are especially friendly with people at work you may want to let them know.</p> <p><strong>4. Extended family</strong></p> <p>Unless you want to subject yourself to a plethora of phone calls, an email may be best for your extended family. Keep them in the loop and let them know what’s happened so that they can offer support but don’t exhaust yourself with feeling as if you need to explain the situation to every single person in your life.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

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10 things cruise lines won’t tell you

<p>Cruiser industry insiders reveal the secrets that cruise lines choose to conceal from passengers.</p> <p>1. “Our ships might sink, but we won’t.”</p> <p>Not necessarily sink, but there are numerous examples of accidents, leaving thousands of passengers stranded at sea waiting for assistance.</p> <p>2. “Feeling queasy? It might be more than seasickness.”</p> <p>Remember if the food seems strange, it might be best not to eat it.</p> <p>3. “We’ve got a drinking problem.”</p> <p>The cruiser liners WANT you to drink as much as you can. It’s where the money is at.</p> <p>4. “Hire a tour guide, just not through us.”</p> <p>If you book excursions through the cruise liners, you are paying an inflated price. Go to a local operator at your cruise destination instead, or even book online.</p> <p>5. “We’ll find a way to hit you up.”</p> <p>The cruise liner is always going to try to convince you to pay for all sort of extras. And like travellers stuck at an airport, passengers on cruises are a captive audience.</p> <p>6. “You need a Ph.D. to choose your cabin.”</p> <p>With thousands of passengers and therefore thousands of rooms, choosing the right cabin is an art. Space is limited and rooms are inevitably near engines or decks.</p> <p>7. “Running late? See you later.”</p> <p>Don’t expect your cruise to give you your money back the closer it is to your departure date.</p> <p>8. “There is still plenty of peril on the sea.”</p> <p>Cruises sounds like a nice, relaxing, safe holiday option but there’s still plenty of danger on board. Because of the heavy drinking, rates of sexual assault are 50 per cent higher than on land.</p> <p>9. “Labour laws don’t always apply to us.”</p> <p>Passengers rarely appreciate how hard the staff in the cruising industry work, and since cruise liners can be registered in other countries, it means sometimes staff don’t get minimum wage, over time or sick time.</p> <p>10. “Don’t swim in our wake.”</p> <p>From sulphurous engine emissions that contribute to smog to so-called blackwater (essentially what goes down the toilet), cruise liners leave a lot of waste in its wake.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Cruising

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The best anti-ageing secrets dermatologists won’t tell you for free

<p><strong>The best tips from top dermatologists </strong></p> <p>A wide array of over-the-counter anti-ageing skincare products aim to improve the signs of ageing, such as skin spots, fine lines, wrinkles, and boost collagen. Yet, most of these products are more hype – it’s important for consumers to understand when a product is a cosmetic, drug, or both to evaluate the validity of these claims. So, which products can actually deliver results that improve the signs of ageing?</p> <p>We spoke with medical experts who told us the best anti-ageing secrets for better skin health.</p> <p><strong>Opt for sunscreen to fight ageing skin</strong></p> <p>Sunscreen is one of the best weapons when it comes to protecting your skin against skin cancer, and it’s also one of the best ways to keep your skin looking younger and healthier. “The sun emits ultraviolet radiation that damages skin, both the overlying epidermis and the underlying dermis,” explains dermatologist, Dr Jerome Garden. “In addition to increasing your risk of skin cancer, the sun causes brown spots, red spots, and wrinkles.”</p> <p><strong>Expensive products are not always more effective</strong></p> <p>It may be tempting to splurge on a skin-care item that promises to yield worthy results, but pricey doesn’t always equal quality. There are some great inexpensive products that can produce great results, according to dermatologist, Dr Dendy Engelman. “A higher price tag can mean better quality ingredients or a higher concentration of an ingredient, but the ingredients list is always more important than the brand selling the product,” she says.</p> <p><strong>Don't buy generic skincare</strong></p> <p>You don’t need to spend a fortune to get a high-quality skincare product, but there is a difference between a brand name product and a generic one, according to dermatologist, Dr Joshua Zeichner.</p> <p>“Many generic products are packaged to look similar to the original, and may even have the same ingredients list, however, the difference is the quality of the ingredients and how they are actually formulated,” he says.</p> <p><strong>Skimp on a fancy cleanser</strong></p> <p>No matter what an expensive cleanser may cost, it’s not going to work any more magic than most lower-cost competitors, according to dermatologists. “The goal of a cleanser is to remove dirt, oil, makeup and pollution from the skin without disrupting the outer skin layer – and the ingredients used to create a product that can do this are not expensive,” says Dr Zeichner. “In fact, some of the best quality cleansers are actually among the least expensive products on the market.”</p> <p><strong>Opt for a serum</strong></p> <p>Serums, which are meant to be layered underneath your daily and nightly moisturiser, often are the first skincare products to be skipped. But, they actually play an important role in your daily routine. “Serums contain a high concentration of active ingredients and are lightweight, so they penetrate deeper into your skin to provide maximum benefits,” says dermatologist, Dr Whitney Bowe. </p> <p>She recommends looking for serums that contain ceramides and amino acids, which help to bolster the skin’s natural barrier, and antioxidants, which protect skin from sun damage and free radicals.</p> <p><strong>Don't trust anti-wrinkle face cream claims </strong></p> <p>“We develop fine lines because of repeated folding of the skin from underlying muscles,” explains Dr Zeichner. “Young, healthy skin has a strong foundation that resists folding and bounces back to its original shape, but, with age, that skin foundation gets weaker.” </p> <p>While topical creams will certainly help keep the skin barrier strong, the only way to truly reduce wrinkles is to relax the muscles underneath the skin, according to Dr Zeichner.</p> <p><strong>Wear sunscreen year-round</strong></p> <p>It’s true that even on the cloudiest or snowiest of days, sunscreen should be a part of your daily skincare routine. “Incidental sun exposure for only 10 to 15 minutes a day adds up over time and can cause significant sun damage and accelerated photoaging,” says Dr Engelman. </p> <p>In order to keep skin looking its youngest and healthiest, she recommends applying sunscreen every single day of the year, as brief sun exposures throughout the year can add up to significant damage (think driving with the sunroof open or walking around outdoor shopping centres during peak sun hours).</p> <p><strong>Use retinol - it really works</strong></p> <p>According to dermatologist, Dr Hadley King, topical retinoids are the most effective topical anti-ageing products (after sun protection). “There is great data that supports their effectiveness and safety,” she says. “While prescription retinoids are the most effective, there are now plenty of over-the-counter products that contain retinol and work well, especially on those with sensitive skin.”</p> <p><strong>Invest in laser treatments</strong></p> <p>If you’re looking for fast results without the use of creams, Dr Garden recommends laser treatments, which he specialises in. “We have lasers for brown spots, red spots, blood vessels and wrinkles,” he says. “Newer devices called fractionated lasers can produce impressive results with less downtime than before.” Although they’re on the pricier side, he says that these treatments can offer results far superior to creams. </p> <p>But the only caveat is that these machines are powerful and, in many states, can be operated by unqualified individuals who are not even physicians. He recommends making sure that your laser treatments are being performed by a board-certified dermatologist to avoid complications.</p> <p><strong>Try collagen supplements </strong></p> <p>Collagen is a protein that’s a building block for our hair, skin and nails. “Supplemental collagen is fragmented pieces of amino acids and peptides that connect in the bloodstream with enzymes that trigger the production of collagen,” explains Dr Engelman. “In a collagen-deficient system, this will support and increase collagen production.” It’s important, however, that you choose the right type of collagen, since 16 different strains exist. </p> <p>“For oral supplements, hydrolysed collagen is easiest to digest, as it is broken down into the smallest forms of peptides and amino acids,” she says. “I like pills and powders because they are easy to incorporate no matter what your lifestyle.”</p> <p><strong>Don't fall for 'trendy' products</strong></p> <p>The latest and greatest products on the market might be eye-catching, but their popularity doesn’t mean that they’re effective. “Just because something is ‘hot’ right now in the beauty industry, does not mean that you should run out to purchase it,” says Dr Bowe. “I always encourage my patients to look for scientific studies and statistics which prove that products deliver the results they promise.”</p> <p><strong>Follow a healthy diet</strong></p> <p>No matter how much time, energy and money you spend on your skincare regimen, if you’re not supplementing it with a healthy diet, you’re wasting your efforts, according to experts. “Your skin is a reflection of your overall health and wellness and your diet absolutely impacts the appearance and health of your skin,” says Dr Bowe. </p> <p>“For example, sugar in any form causes multiple changes in our body, from our cellular membranes and our arteries to our hormones, immune systems, gut, and even microbiome – the microbes in our intestines that affect our biology all the way out to our skin.”</p> <p><strong>Allergy pill and a nap may reduce dark circles and puffy eyes</strong></p> <p>There are other causes of dark circles that are unrelated to your skin, such as seasonal allergies or lack of sleep. Dermatologist, Dr Joel Schlessinger recommends trying Clarityne or Zyrtec, drinking more water, or heading to bed an hour earlier to clock in more sleep. If your dark circles and puffiness aren’t improved by any of those suggestions, then he says a well-formulated and hydrating eye cream could help.</p> <p><strong>Avoid sleeping on your side</strong></p> <p>Believe it or not, the way you sleep does have an effect on the smoothness of your skin. “Sleeping on your side presses your cheek into the pillow and causes the skin on your chest to be scrunched, creating new or reinforcing existing wrinkles,” warns Dr Schlessinger. “Train yourself to sleep on your back as much as you can – it will keep skin as flat and smooth as possible.”</p> <p><strong>Don't wait until it's too late too start Botox</strong></p> <p>Some fine lines and wrinkles are caused by repetitive movements, so starting these treatments early, even in your late 20s and early 30s, may potentially help prevent them or slow their progression, according to cosmetic dermatologist, Dr Sejal Shah. </p> <p>“People are often afraid of injectables because they don’t want to look ‘frozen’ or overdone, but many neurotoxins (Botox, Dysport, Xeomin, and Jeuveau) can look very natural when appropriately placed.” Just be sure to seek treatment from trained individuals, such as a board-certified dermatologist.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/beauty/the-best-anti-ageing-secrets-dermatologists-wont-tell-you-for-free?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Inspiration, influence and theft: what the Ed Sheeran case can tell us about 70 years of pop music

<p>a US court <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/may/04/ed-sheeran-verdict-not-liable-copyright-lawsuit-marvin-gaye">ruled in favour of singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran</a>, agreeing his song <em>Thinking Out Loud</em> did not breach musical copyright. </p> <p>The high-profile court case, brought by the estate of soul singer Marvin Gaye, claimed Sheeran’s song was too similar to Gaye’s song <em>Let’s Get It On</em>.</p> <p>On the stand, Sheeran <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/apr/28/ed-sheeran-sings-in-court-as-part-of-marvin-gaye-copyright-case">defended his songwriting process</a>, stating: “I draw inspiration from a lot from things in my life and family.”</p> <p>Sheeran’s case brought up some difficult questions around what we understand as inspiration and influence, and what we may hear as theft.</p> <p>Musical copyright cases are part of songwriting history. Radiohead’s <em>Creep</em> was found to be <a href="https://entertainment.time.com/2013/08/22/11-suspiciously-sound-alike-songs/slide/the-hollies-the-air-that-i-breathe-1974-vs-radiohead-creep-1992/">too similar</a> to the Hollies’ <em>The Air That I Breathe</em>, and in 2018, Lana Del Rey’s <em>Get Free</em> <a href="https://variety.com/2018/biz/news/lana-del-rey-claims-lawsuit-with-radiohead-is-over-watch-1202736177/">was found to plagiarise Creep</a>. </p> <p>Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars altered the credits to <em>Uptown Funk</em> to <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/lawsuit-bmg-uptown-funk-royalties-gap-band-heirs-1234660379/">acknowledge the similarity</a> to The Gap Band’s <em>Oops Upside Your Head</em>. </p> <p>Here in Australia, the flute solo in Men at Work’s <em>Down Under</em>, which quoted the melody of folk song <em>Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree</em>, was <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2010/jul/06/men-at-work-down-under">ruled as plagiarism</a>.</p> <p>In this case against Sheeran, the song’s chord progression was at the heart of the claim. The prosecution argued Sheeran’s chord progression was too similar to the chord progression of Gaye’s.</p> <p>But can we copyright a chord progression if it is used extensively in other pop songs? </p> <p>Gaye’s song uses four chords that gradually move upward (I-iii-IV-V). These same chords can be heard in the Beach Boys’ <em>I Can Hear Music</em>, the Seekers’ <em>Georgy Girl</em>, the Beatles’ <em>I Feel Fine</em>, in the Motown tune <em>This Old Heart of Mine</em> by the Isley Brothers, Elvis Presley’s <em>Suspicious Minds</em>, Cher’s <em>Believe</em> and ABBA’s <em>Knowing Me Knowing You</em>, among many others. </p> <p>This chord progression and many others are part of the songwriting toolkit of rock and pop and have been heard continuously over the past 70 years. </p> <h2>The 12 bar blues</h2> <p>A chord progression is the main instrumental part you hear in most pop music, usually played by a guitar, piano or synth. </p> <p>One of the oldest chord progressions in pop is the 12-bar blues – a looping pattern of three chords that is very identifiable. </p> <p>As the name suggests, this set of chords stems from early blues and was a way for musicians to easily play together and improvise. A version of this progression can be heard in Muddy Waters’ I<em>’m Your Hoochie Coochie Man</em> or John Lee Hooker’s <em>Boom Boom</em>. </p> <p>You can also hear this progression in a number of other pop songs – listen to verses of Queen’s <em>I Want to Break Free</em> and <em>Kiss</em> by Prince – both use the same chord progression, but sound very different to each other. </p> <p>More recently, Lizzo’s <em>Better in Colour</em> uses the 12-bar blues in a way that makes an old formula fresh.</p> <h2>The ‘doo-wop’ progression</h2> <p>The “doo-wop” progression has appeared in pop music for close to 80 years, and is named because most doo-wop songs feature this chord progression – it was an essential part of its sound. </p> <p>You can hear it in 1950s hits such as the Penguins’ <em>Earth Angel</em> and Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers’ <em>Why Do Fools Fall in Love?</em>.</p> <p>The strength of these chords means they are used in pop music of all kinds, including ELO’s <em>Telephone Line</em>, <em>Don’t Dream it’s Over</em> by Crowded House, Destiny’s Child’s <em>Say My Name</em>, <em>Blank Space</em> by Taylor Swift, and <em>Flowers</em> by Miley Cyrus. </p> <p>Despite its consistent use, these chords still cross genres and eras, and still catch our ears. </p> <p>Comedy act Axis of Awesome use a similar progression in their video for 4 Chords, where they cleverly play almost 50 different songs with a variation on these four simple chords.</p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oOlDewpCfZQ" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <h2>The I-IV-V (the ‘one, four, five’)</h2> <p>Perhaps the most common chord progressions in rock and pop are those that use the I, IV and V chords in various combinations.</p> <p>They’re usually the first three chords you learn on an instrument and open up thousands of songs to play – from the rock and roll of <em>Summertime Blues</em> by Eddie Cochran, the garage rock of <em>Wild Thing</em> by the Troggs, the bubblegum of Hanson’s <em>Mmmbop</em> and the indie rock of Coldplay’s <em>Yellow</em>, to the modern pop of <em>bad guy</em> by Billie Eilish and <em>good 4 u</em> by Olivia Rodrigo.</p> <h2>Going forward</h2> <p>Rock, pop, blues, doo wop and other musical genres can often be defined by their use of repeated chord progressions. These chord progressions are part of a songwriter’s toolkit in a similar way to how an artist may use different paint brushes. </p> <p>As Sheeran’s lawyer Ilene Farkas <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/may/04/ed-sheeran-verdict-not-liable-copyright-lawsuit-marvin-gaye">noted</a>, chord progressions are, "the letters of the alphabet of music […] these are basic musical building blocks that songwriters now and forever must be free to use."</p> <p>It is how these “building blocks” are used, and in what combinations, that gives us a great variety of pop songs over many decades. The true craft of great pop music is to take these formulas and turn them into something unique (while simultaneously making it sound easy).</p> <p>The ruling in Sheeran’s case supports the rights of musical artists to continue to use these progressions as part of a songwriter’s toolkit, and to build from the artists who came before them. It also acknowledges that influence and inspiration from previous works are part of the construction of the pop music we love.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/inspiration-influence-and-theft-what-the-ed-sheeran-case-can-tell-us-about-70-years-of-pop-music-204747" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Music

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How to tell if your partner is stealing from you

<p>Financial infidelity can take many forms and it can be devastating to a relationship. From secretive purchases to hiding debts, dishonesty about income to secret investments, it can cause significant harm to both partners. If you want to avoid becoming victims of financial infidelity, it is important to communicate openly and honestly about your finances. </p> <p>Taking responsibility for your financial health is good for your wellbeing. Whether it’s being pro-active in the face of financial infidelity or recovering the damages, being aware of the common forms and red flags can help you build strategies to move forward. Here is what you need to know.</p> <p><strong>Common financial ‘secrets’ </strong></p> <p>Money lies take several forms and they all involve secrecy, for example, buying items without informing your partner, gambling or other expenses that are unaccounted for, frivolous spending on unnecessary items, not disclosing debts or loans, and lying about how much money you make or your financial situation. </p> <p>Then there are the secret bank accounts and investing money without your partner's knowledge. Your partner may be harbouring one or many of these common financial secrets, so knowing the red flags will help you bring the dishonesty to the surface.</p> <p><strong>Signs of financial infidelity</strong></p> <p>It is important to keep an eye out for signs of financial infidelity. The red flags that will call out secretive behaviour include new credit card statements or bank accounts that you know nothing about, new items appearing in your house that you didn't buy, packages not addressed to you, new passwords on financial accounts and an unwillingness to discuss money matters. </p> <p>Your partner's behaviour is also a warning. Pay close attention to reactions that don’t seem authentic and displays of paranoia about you opening the mail – especially the bank and credit card statements.</p> <p><strong>Moving beyond financial infidelity</strong></p> <p>If you suspect your partner is guilty of financial infidelity, there are simple steps to help you both move forward. First, you will need your partner to come clean. Ask, listen, and be supportive. They may be feeling embarrassed or ashamed, and fearing judgement. </p> <p>Next, get help. Consider a professional. This could be both financial and personal – by planning a way forward together, you can re-affirm your views about money and trust in your relationship. Financial infidelity can destroy trust in your partner, so you both must be willing to work towards healing the hurt and reducing the risk of future money sins.</p> <p><strong>Make money a talking point</strong></p> <p>When it comes to financial matters, maintaining honesty and trust in your relationship can be challenging. To be on the front foot, try talking about money regularly. Normalise it. For example, talk about your bank balance, who is paying what bills, what you’d like to buy and how you plan to buy it, your savings plans, how your superfund is performing. </p> <p>Set up these conversations in advance and use them as a time to check in on your money goals. You must both feel empowered to ask money questions, so the more you make money conversations the norm, the better.</p> <p><strong>Create a personal finance village </strong></p> <p>Try adding someone to your personal finance village. Consider working with an accountant or financial advisor who can independently help you and your partner to plan open discussions in a safe manner to address your financial issues. Ask their advice on enabling ‘safe’ confessions like having a no-judgement rule for raising money sins. </p> <p>Allow yourselves the opportunity to come clean on spending and work out how best to address this going forward. This offers you the freedom of being on the same page financially and working towards the same financial goals.</p> <p>Finding yourself in a situation involving financial infidelity can be utterly devastating. Of course, the best way of addressing any kind of money cheating is to know the red flags and avoid it altogether. </p> <p>However, as this is not always the case, consider getting professional advice on working towards common financial goals so you can move forward in a positive way. Remember, communication and honesty are key to a healthy and successful financial relationship. </p> <p><strong><em>Jacqui Clarke FCA, FTI, GAICD, JP, author of Stop Worrying About Money (Wiley, $29.95), is a trusted advisor, board member, executor and veteran business executive. As a personal wealth and money management expert and over three decades of experience , 25 years at Deloitte and PWC helping high-net-worth families, individuals and business owners to build, manage and preserve their wealth. Her message is simple: with careful planning and effort, you can manage your money, so it doesn’t manage you. <a href="https://www.jacquiclarke.me/">https://www.jacquiclarke.me/</a></em></strong></p> <p><em><span style="background-color: #ffffff;">Image credits: Getty </span>Images </em></p>

Money & Banking

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Lumps, bumps and oil slicks: what your skin is really trying to tell you

<p>It is common knowledge to drink water, cleanse, tone and moisture to ensure your skin is healthy, but sometimes these methods aren’t enough. Skincare expert and touch therapist, Sarah Jones, believes that skincare starts from the inside and her approach is based around the idea that your skin reflects the tensions and emotions in your life.</p> <p>“Have you ever noticed that your skin reacts badly when you’re under stress? I can sometimes point to a spot and say, 'This is from that terrible traffic jam I got stuck in yesterday.' Or when you’re giddy with good news, people often comment on your skin, saying you’re “glowing”. Don’t underestimate how emotions play a huge role in how our skin behaves,” Sarah said.</p> <p>Sarah explains the emotions behind common skin complaints.</p> <p><strong>Dry skin</strong></p> <p>Sarah suggests that dry skin can be linked to deep-rooted stress, self-criticism and a little sadness. This is common in those who are caring and help others but tend to forget to look after themselves. Be sure to look after yourself even if it is escaping to have a bath, and if you need to talk to someone, speak to a trusted friend or counsellor.</p> <p><strong>Cold sores and breakouts</strong></p> <p>Both of these skin problems can be an indication of unexpressed anger. Sarah explains that cold sores and spots are nature’s way of communicating that you have gotten off balance.</p> <p><strong>Eczema</strong></p> <p>Eczema, which causes crusting and red patches on the skin, is tedious to treat and can be a real battle to overcome. Sarah believes eczema can be a signal that you feel suffocated in your thoughts and emotionally overwhelmed. She suggests writing down how you feel and finding ways to tackle each emotion.</p> <p><strong>Oily skin and acne</strong></p> <p>Those who have oily skin are prone to large pores and regular but small breakouts. Sarah suggests that this can be a sign that you are not relaxed and you put a lot of pressure on yourself. You may also be prone to highly critiquing yourself. Be sure to focus on your confidence and surround yourself with people who encourage you.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Body

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4 signs your body is trying to tell you something

<p>Have you noticed any odd changes in your body? Perhaps your nails have become more brittle lately, or you’ve started to get cracks on the corners of your mouth. These small signs might seem insignificant, but they are your body’s way of signalling that a change has occurred.</p> <p>Here are some of the key signs that your body is trying to tell you something:</p> <p><strong>Burping and indigestion</strong></p> <p>Find yourself burping or struggling with indigestion more than usual? It could be a sign that you’re low on stomach acid.</p> <p>If your body is low on stomach acid, you won’t digest foods efficiently, especially those heavy in fat and protein. As digestion slows, food sits in the stomach along with the air you naturally swallow when you eat. The longer food stays in the stomach, the more likely you’ll burp.</p> <p><strong>Yellow spots around your eyes</strong></p> <p>Discoloured spots around your eyes and elbows can be a sign that your cholesterol levels are raised. It’s a condition known as xanthelasma, which can be your body’s way of telling you that your diet or exercise routine is amiss.</p> <p>Be sure to consult a doctor if you need to check your cholesterol. A routine blood test will be able to give you the answer, and you can talk to your doctor about what lifestyle changes will help.</p> <p><strong>Itchy feet</strong></p> <p>Summertime often means more visits to the pool or time exercising outdoors. But sweaty trainers and damp feet can also lead to an increase in fungal infections.</p> <p>If you notice your feet are itchy, take a closer look at the skin. If it’s white and flaking off, or simply damp between the toes you may have a fungal infection. Head to the pharmacist for an anti-fungal cream to clear it up, stat.</p> <p><strong>Cracks in the corners of your mouth</strong></p> <p>Small cracks in the skin at the corner of your mouth is often a sign that your body isn’t getting enough B vitamins. If your diet is high in refined and processed foods- think soft drink, pastries and pasta- B vitamins are often the first to take a hit.</p> <p>The answer? Opt for a diet high in whole foods. Try eating more grains, legumes, salmon and red meat, all foods high in B vitamins. If in doubt, always contact a healthcare professional.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="../health/wellbeing/2015/10/how-to-lose-weight-after-60/">How to lose weight after 60</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2015/11/how-to-stay-asleep/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 tips to stay asleep all night</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2015/11/best-outdoor-exercise-options/">The best ways to exercise outdoors</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Body

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Hilarious hiring sign tells it like it is

<p>A restaurant scorched by unreliable employees has bluntly advertised what they’re searching for with an ad that reads, “Now hiring: non-stupid people.”</p> <p>Santino’s Pizzeria hung the all-caps banner outside its Columbus, Ohio, storefront in jest, according to local news outlet WSYX, but it’s just now come to the attention of the public after a customer posted a photo of it on social media.</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/03/PIZZA-SIGN-FULL-HERO.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p>Jayden Dunigan, whose family owns the pizzeria, told WSYX that the sign was meant to be a joke, explaining the struggle of spending the time and money to train new employees only for them not to turn up.</p> <p>“A lot of the people we’ve hired just don’t want to work,” Dunigan said. “There is no work ethic behind them, so that’s the meaning behind the ‘non-stupid’.”</p> <p>The sign was backed by the online community, with the restaurant receiving plenty of support after the sign went viral on social media.</p> <p>“They are 100 per cent correct,” one person commented. “In addition they should add non-lazy, also!”</p> <p>Another comment read, “Honest hiring practices are always best.”</p> <p>There were a few users who did not see the humour in the sign.</p> <p>“If that’s the first impression you choose to make as a business owner, don’t complain when your employees leave,” one person wrote on Twitter.</p> <p>The restaurant has faced some costly backlash, with the Pizzeria getting calls and pranks. Dunigan told the news outlet than someone called the restaurant to place a fake. Order that was over $100 in response to the sign.</p> <p>“It was about 10 pizzas. We made the order, he called back, he talked down to one of our employees. He said our pizza sucks, and he’s cancelling the order,” Dunigan said about the prankster.</p> <p>Instead of letting the food go to waste, Dunigan said they donated it.</p> <p>“Since we don’t enjoy wasting food here, we always think that someone else in need can enjoy the food,” Dunigan said.</p> <p>Another manager at Santino’s, Heather Stockton, told WBNS, “Instead of judging our signs, why don’t you come judge our pizzas? Our pizzas are really good.”</p> <p><em>Image credit: Twitter</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Can reading help heal us and process our emotions – or is that just a story we tell ourselves?

<p>The <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/4306897">oldest known library</a>, dating back to the second millennium BC, in Thebes, Egypt, reportedly bore a sign above its portals in Greek: Psyches Iatreion, translated as “healing place of the soul”.</p> <p>The idea that reading may confer healing benefits is not new, but continues to intrigue readers and researchers.</p> <p>Of course, this doesn’t apply to reading about how to put up the tent, or tidy our piles of household stuff. When we talk about books that might offer a balm for the soul, we mean fiction, poetry and narrative non-fiction (including memoir).</p> <p>The idea of emotional catharsis through reading is intuitively appealing. But does it work that way? Or do we read for interest, pleasure, escapism – or love of words?</p> <h2>Reading as catharsis and transport</h2> <p>“The highest aspiration of art is to move the audience,” claims <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/609280/a-swim-in-a-pond-in-the-rain-by-george-saunders/">George Saunders</a>. Who is not still moved by the first book that affected them on a cellular level – whether that’s Storm Boy, The Little Prince, or their high-school reading of To Kill a Mockingbird?</p> <p>According to the authors of <a href="https://www.textpublishing.com.au/books/the-novel-cure">The Novel Cure: an A-Z of Literary Remedies</a>, "novels have the power to transport you into another existence, and see the world from a different point of view […] sometimes it’s the story that charms; sometimes it’s the rhythm of the prose that works on the psyche, stilling or stimulating."</p> <p>Humans imitate or re-present the world through art: poetry, drama and epic. That drive, claimed <a href="https://www.amherst.edu/system/files/media/1812/The%252520Poetics%252520of%252520Aristotle%25252C%252520by%252520Aristotle.pdf">Aristotle</a>, sets humans apart from animals.</p> <p>In 1987 Jerome Bruner proposed that “world making” is the “principal function of mind”, in both the sciences and arts. As humans, we are drawn to the momentum of narrative to tell our stories, <a href="https://ewasteschools.pbworks.com/f/Bruner_J_LifeAsNarrative.pdf">he says</a>.</p> <p>We seek to make sense of the events in our lives, as if life really were a three-act play with a clear narrative arc. (Conveniently summarised as: “Get him up a tree; throw rocks at him; get him down.”)</p> <h2>How reading works</h2> <p>Reading is one way we seek to understand our worlds. Evolutionary psychologists propose the brain is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/009164710203000101">“designed for reading”</a>, just as it is for language, facial recognition or other drives. The act of reading engages both cognitive and – especially where there’s a narrative – emotional processes.</p> <p>Children learning to read must first grasp the basics of recognition (sound-letter-phoneme-word) and then proceed to the higher-order cognitive skill of comprehension of the meaning of the text (semantics).</p> <p>It is at that next level of meaning-making that words connect and stir the emotions. That might be fear (<a href="https://theconversation.com/frankenstein-how-mary-shelleys-sci-fi-classic-offers-lessons-for-us-today-about-the-dangers-of-playing-god-175520">Frankenstein</a>), love (<a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/pride-and-prejudice-9780241374887">Pride and Prejudice</a>), outrage (Germaine Greer’s polemic <a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-the-female-eunuch-at-50-germaine-greers-fearless-feminist-masterpiece-147437">The Female Eunuch</a>) or existential angst (Albert Camus’ philosophical novel L’Etranger/<a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-outsider-9780141198064">The Outsider</a>).</p> <p>But how does this process “work”? Or, as Saunders puts it: “How does [the writer] seduce, persuade, console, distract?”</p> <h2>How reading between the gaps invites us in</h2> <p>World or meaning making can occur directly by acquiring knowledge (for example, when reading that tent manual) or indirectly, through our engagement with the social world, art and our meaning-making faculties.</p> <p>Works of art invite thought and feeling. This “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27449184/">indirect communication</a>” of literature is one of the unique affordances (or benefits) it offers readers.</p> <p>Meaning-making <a href="https://www.onfiction.ca/p/books.html">is</a> a transaction between author, text and reader; the “gap” between the words and the reader’s interpretation, shaped by their own experiences and predispositions, is critical. Thus, an author might seek to move a reader – but whether the reader is moved will depend on individual circumstances and preferences. (Not the least among these is the skill of the writer, of course.)</p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/book-week-is-good-for-kids-and-book-clubs-are-great-for-adults-30783">Book clubs</a>, where heated discussions can be motivated by how books and their characters made readers feel, are a great example. So is consumer review site <a href="https://theconversation.com/in-the-world-of-goodreads-do-we-still-need-book-reviewers-56455">Goodreads</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-is-booktok-and-how-is-it-influencing-what-australian-teenagers-read-182290">#BookTok</a>, the sector of TikTok where books that make readers cry dominate.</p> <p>As <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/609280/a-swim-in-a-pond-in-the-rain-by-george-saunders/">Flannery O’Connor</a> says, “the writer can choose what he writes about but he cannot choose what he is able to make live” (my italics). In other words, some books will always speak to some readers. And those same books will leave other readers cold – or even make them regret joining a book club.</p> <h2>What neuroscience tells us about reading</h2> <p>Virginia Woolf wrote of books as “<a href="http://lemasney.com/consulting/2015/05/05/books-are-the-mirrors-of-the-soul-virginia-woolf-cc-by-lemasney/">mirrors of the soul</a>”. And contemporary neuropsychologists have proven it, with brain-imaging studies.</p> <p>These studies have demonstrated that when a person indirectly experiences an event associated with an emotion, the same regions of the brain are activated as if they had experienced the event directly.</p> <p>We feel disgust, whether we actually discover (or half-eat) the maggot in the ham sandwich or view a TikTok video of the simulated event. The same fear is elicited in the brain when we walk a tightrope in a virtual reality simulation, view the film of Phillipe Petit in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3488710/">The Walk</a>, or high-wire walk ourselves (do not try this at home). Mirror neurons prompt us to yawn or smile or frown when another person yawns, smiles or frowns.</p> <p>The other person – the protagonist, in a book – can be completely fictional, the entire plot make-believe: yet we still cry. Who of us hasn’t wept real tears when tragedy befalls a favourite character in a novel? (For me, it’s the death of shell-shocked World War I soldier Septimus in Virginia Woolf’s novel <a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/mrs-dalloway-9780241468647">Mrs Dalloway</a>.)</p> <h2>The psychology of fiction</h2> <p>University of Toronto professor emeritus and author-psychologist <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Such+Stuff+as+Dreams:+The+Psychology+of+Fiction-p-9780470974575">Keith Oatley</a> explains that reading narratives allows us to “simulate” a social world where we identify with characters and their struggles, and observe their way of solving conflicts.</p> <p>This way we can process emotional content and solve life’s problems indirectly. It’s much more effective than being given the solution! Oatley’s research has also demonstrated that readers’ long-term engagement in fiction (especially literary fiction) <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27449184/">improves their empathy</a> and their ability to take the perspective of another person (referred to as “Theory of Mind”).</p> <p>Oatley suggests: “We need not lead one life; through fiction we can lead many lives”.</p> <p>In this sense, reading can prompt us to understand the inner lives of others as well as our own. It can even help us to re-imagine the narrative of our lives – especially if we are not happy with the one we are actually leading. In this way, reading can provide both escape and a way to imagine (and perhaps start to plan for) alternative ways to live.</p> <p>In her book <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1kgqwk8">Why We Read Fiction</a>, Lisa Zunshine argues "fiction helps us to pattern in newly nuanced ways our emotions and perceptions […] it creates new forms of meaning for our everyday existence."</p> <p>Quite apart from the practical benefits of this kind of cognitive and emotional gymnastics, Zunshine says our biggest reason for doing it is enjoyment itself.</p> <p>Does reading prompt emotional catharsis?</p> <p>Marcel Proust wrote that a novelist can, in an hour, “set free all kinds of happiness and misfortune which would take years of our ordinary lives to know”.</p> <p>Reading, as a hard-wired impetus and a form of engaging with art, allows us to process our emotions.</p> <p>Importantly, this can be at a distance. We don’t have to directly, for example, pursue forbidden love and sort out the ensuing mess (Graham Greene’s <a href="https://www.penguin.com.au/books/the-end-of-the-affair-9780099478447">The End of the Affair</a>), or cope alone with alienation or discrimination (Alice Walker’s <a href="https://www.hachette.com.au/alice-walker/the-color-purple-the-classic-pulitzer-prize-winning-novel">The Colour Purple</a>). We can scare ourselves without ever having to go into the dark woods.</p> <p>We can access experiences unavailable to us in life – and the positive feelings they produce can remain with us. For example, we can transform ourselves into magical, powerful heroes and heroines who prevail against impossible odds (<a href="https://theconversation.com/how-tolkien-and-lord-of-the-rings-inspired-the-commercial-and-artistic-success-of-the-fantasy-fiction-genre-170958">Lord of the Rings</a>).</p> <p>Saunders suggests art (including literature) might be "an offering of sorts – a hypothesis for both writer and reader to take up and consider together […] the goal of that offering might be to ease the reader’s way; to make the difficulty of this life less for her. We try to give the reader a way of thinking about reality that is truthful, yes, and harsh, if need be, but not gratuitously harsh, a way of thinking that, somehow, helps her."</p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-reading-help-heal-us-and-process-our-emotions-or-is-that-just-a-story-we-tell-ourselves-197789" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p> <figure></figure>

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5 vitamin deficiencies your body is trying to tell you

<p>It’s so common to have marks, bumps or blemishes on our body and just ignore them until they go away. But what if they don’t? What if your eyes, skin or hair is trying to tell you that you are lacking in a specific vitamin or mineral, which could be affecting your health and wellbeing? Speak to your doctor if you have any of these symptoms, and they can help you diagnose and treat any deficiencies.</p> <p><strong>1. Calcium deficiency</strong></p> <p>Do you have weak or brittle nails, numbness in your extremities, or regular muscle cramps? Calcium deficiency could be a problem for you. It’s not just in dairy (though that is a great source) but also in seaweed, leafy greens, legumes and nuts. You can also find calcium-fortified products such as specific cereals, orange juice and soy milk.</p> <p><strong>2. Vitamin C deficiency</strong></p> <p>Do you bruise more easily than you used to? Do you have cuts and wounds that seem to take a long time to heal? This could be a sign that you are low in vitamin C. And it’s not just from a lack of oranges. The best places to find this vitamin include strawberries, kiwi, broccoli and red capsicums.</p> <p><strong>3. Iron deficiency</strong></p> <p>If you look unusually pale, have cold hands and feet, or a swollen tongue, you could be lacking in iron. As well as iron supplements, you can bulk up your iron intake with iron-rich foods such as red meat, fish and legumes.</p> <p><strong>4. Omega 3 deficiency</strong></p> <p>Do you have bumps on the skin on your upper arms, dandruff, dry hair or dry eyes? You could be low in omega 3. Generally found in fish, seeds and nuts, leafy greens and eggs – it can also be ingested as a supplement from the chemist.</p> <p><strong>5. B12 deficiency</strong></p> <p>B12 is readily available in meat, so this is a common deficiency in vegetarians and vegans. B12 is also less able to be absorbed from food as we get older. Signs of deficiency include skin irritation and dermatitis, lethargy and unusual weakness, pins and needles, and a smooth red tongue is also common (the little bumps disappear). You can get B12 in tablets or as an injection, but ideally you can get it from your food. Go for meat, leafy greens, mushrooms and nuts.</p> <p>Do you have any of these symptoms? Will this article encourage you to speak to your doctor to get checked out?</p>

Body

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Is my RAT actually working? How to tell if your COVID test can detect Omicron

<p>You’ve tested negative for COVID using a rapid antigen test (RAT), but are a close contact of a positive family member and have symptoms. So you might be wondering if you’re really COVID-negative or if the test is working as well as it should.</p> <p>There are many reasons why your RAT may not give you <a href="https://theconversation.com/15-things-not-to-do-when-using-a-rapid-antigen-test-from-storing-in-the-freezer-to-sampling-snot-176364">the results</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/my-rats-are-negative-but-i-still-think-i-might-have-covid-should-i-get-a-pcr-test-194527">you expect</a>. But one factor is whether RATs can detect the Omicron variant of SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID).</p> <p>We know the virus has mutated during the pandemic. So health authorities and researchers are investigating whether RATs can still detect the <a href="https://www.who.int/activities/tracking-SARS-CoV-2-variants">more recent versions</a> of the virus.</p> <p>The good news is, based on the <a href="https://www.tga.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-10/post-market-review-of-antigen-and-rapid-antigen-tests-table.pdf">limited data released</a>, all RATs meant for use at home in Australia that have been independently tested so far seem to be able to detect Omicron. The bad news is that not all RATs have been independently tested yet. Yours might be one of those.</p> <h2>What do mutations have to do with RATs?</h2> <p>RATs diagnose COVID infection by detecting specific viral proteins. So there are concerns that as the virus evolves and produces altered viral proteins, this may affect the tests’ ability to diagnose COVID as well as they detected previous variants.</p> <p>Whether RATs can adequately detect Omicron has been raised by authorities and researchers in various countries including <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj-2022-071215">The Netherlands</a>, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35458384/">Belgium</a> and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36339133/">Chile</a>, as well as Australia.</p> <p>One <a href="https://journals.asm.org/doi/10.1128/jcm.01097-22">Australian study</a> tested six RATs on Delta, and Omicron lineages BA.4, BA.5 and BA.2.75. The researchers found the kits performed equally well across the different samples at higher viral loads (higher concentrations of the virus), although one kit’s overall sensitivity fell below minimum sensitivity requirements. </p> <p>However, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36339133/">some international studies</a> have found RATs are less able to detect Omicron, particularly when <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36339133/">viral loads are lower</a>.</p> <h2>So what’s the case in Australia?</h2> <p>Australia’s regulator, the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA), initially relied on <a href="https://www.tga.gov.au/products/covid-19/covid-19-tests/post-market-review-antigen-and-rapid-antigen-tests">test data</a> provided by RAT manufacturers to determine the test kit met World Health Organization <a href="https://www.who.int/publications/m/item/technical-specifications-for-selection-of-essential-in-vitro-diagnostics-for-sars-cov-2">standards</a> for acceptable sensitivity (ability to detect a positive case).</p> <p>The TGA also requires manufacturers to send updated test data as new variants arise to demonstrate their test still meets those WHO standards.</p> <p>But the TGA has also commissioned <a href="https://www.tga.gov.au/products/covid-19/covid-19-tests/post-market-review-antigen-and-rapid-antigen-tests">independent testing of RATs</a> to verify how well they detect the more recent COVID variants.</p> <p>They are tested for their ability to detect the wild-type virus (the original strain), the Delta variant, and the Omicron variant. The TGA does not state which specific lineages (descendents) of Omicron are included in the testing. </p> <p>As it completes its analysis on individual tests (or groups of tests), the TGA reports them in a <a href="https://www.tga.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-10/post-market-review-of-antigen-and-rapid-antigen-tests-table.pdf">table that’s publicly available</a>, which will be updated as more data come in.</p> <h2>What does the table tell us?</h2> <p>You can look up the brand name, manufacturer and batch number of the RAT you have at home. Look for those labelled “self-tests” (more on the different types of tests and their results later).</p> <p>The most important columns in the table are those that indicate whether the kit passed its independent validation. Look for four ticks to indicate the kit meets minimum standards for detecting the original virus, Delta and Omicron variants, and has passed the quality test. A cross indicates is has not passed that component of the validation.</p> <p>Haven’t found a result for your RAT? </p> <p>If a product comes in two versions – a self-test and a type of test used in health-care facilities known as a point-of-care test (POCT in the table) – only one may be tested.</p> <p>If that’s the case, the symbol † means testing was only done on one version and you can use those results for your test. Look for a matching registration number to make sure you’re comparing like with like.</p> <p>The final column indicates what type of data the manufacturer has provided. Some manufacturers have tested the sensitivity of their kits for Omicron lineages BA.4 and BA.5.</p> <h2>What does the table not tell us?</h2> <p>Just because your test has no ticks or crosses against it, this doesn’t mean it can’t detect Omicron. It could be that the independent validation has yet to be completed or uploaded to the table. So the jury is out.</p> <p>The table also does not tell us what lineages of Omicron were tested for, although in some cases the manufacturer has supplied clinical test data. </p> <p>The table data were only current as of October. Seeing as the number of cases of sub-variant infections <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-can-we-expect-from-this-latest-covid-wave-and-how-long-is-it-likely-to-last-194444">has risen since then</a>, so we don’t really know if that is impacting on the sensitivity of even those tests that have recently been validated.</p> <h2>I’ve grappled with the table, now what?</h2> <p>If your brand of RAT has the ticks, particularly for Omicron, it has been assessed has having an acceptable sensitivity. If you are buying a RAT, check the table to see if that brand has been tested for sensitivity to the Omicron variant. </p> <p>If your test has been sitting in a cupboard for months, check the expiry date before you use it. Also consider whether it has been stored at the correct temperature during that time (the instruction leaflet will tell you what that is).</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-my-rat-actually-working-how-to-tell-if-your-covid-test-can-detect-omicron-196210" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Body

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We can pretty accurately tell when a human or dog is happy, but not so much with aggression

<p>Humans are terrible at understanding aggressive characteristics in dogs — and unfortunately, in other humans.</p> <p>Being able to correctly interpret social interactions is an important skill that allows humans to react appropriately in different situations.</p> <p>But, research from the Dog Studies Research group at the Max Planck Institute for Geoanthropology in Germany shows while we’re generally clued in to distinguishing the nature of social interactions between children, dogs, and monkeys, we suck at identifying negative behaviour in dogs and humans.</p> <p>Researchers presented 96 adults with short video clips of aggressive, neutral, and playful interactions between two individuals in three different species: human children, dogs, and macaques.</p> <p>The clips included clues, such as body postures and facial expressions, but ended before the interaction took place.</p> <p>Half the study participants were asked to categorise the interaction as aggressive, neutral, or playful, while the other half were asked to predict the outcome from three sentences prepared by the experimenters describing the three possible outcomes.</p> <p>The researchers found that people performed better than chance for both tasks, even without prior experiences with the non-human species.</p> <p>They selected the correct choice of the three outcomes in 50–80% of interactions and were most accurate in categorising playful interactions, which they correctly identified 70% of the time.</p> <p>This wasn’t the case for predicting aggressive outcomes in humans and in pooches in particular. Participants rated aggressive contexts among dogs at chance level, and predicted outcomes below chance level.</p> <p>“It is possible that we are biased to assume good intentions from other humans and from ‘man’s best friend’,” says first author Dr Theresa Epperlein the DogStudies Research group in the Max Planck Institute for Geoanthropology, Germany.</p> <p>“Perhaps this bias prevents us from recognising aggressive situations in these species.”  </p> <p>“Our results underscore the fact that social interactions can often be ambiguous and suggest that accurately predicting outcomes may be more advantageous than categorising emotional contexts,” adds senior author Dr Juliane Bräuer, DogStudies Research Group Leader.</p> <p>The research has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0277783" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in the journal <em>PLOS ONE</em>.</p> <p><img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=227826&amp;title=We+can+pretty+accurately+tell+when+a+human+or+dog+is+happy%2C+but+not+so+much+with+aggression" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></p> <div id="contributors"> <p><em><a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/human-dogs-aggressive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This article</a> was originally published on Cosmos Magazine and was written by Imma Perfetto.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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15 secrets your hair stylist won’t tell you

<p><strong>The clients I dread the most are those who say things like “Do whatever you want”</strong></p> <p>Or: “I’m pretty easy to work with.” Nine times out of ten, hair stylists say, it’s not true.</p> <p><strong>We know you hate the word bleach</strong></p> <p>So we hairdressers use words like lightener and decolouriser. But no matter how we prettify the language, if we’re lifting a dark colour out of your hair, we’re using bleach. If you’re not sure exactly how much lighter your hair should be, here’s how to find the best hair colour for your skin tone.</p> <p><strong>Yes, I keep notes about you on your client card, and they can get pretty personal </strong></p> <p>I may note that you don’t tip well or that you talked loudly about how drunk you were last night. I may also write down that you’re going through a divorce or that you’re into tennis so I can remember to ask you about those things next time.</p> <p><strong>If there's one rule to live by, it's this</strong></p> <p>Don’t make your first appointment with me on a Saturday. That’s our busiest day, and I won’t be able to give you the time and attention you want and deserve.</p> <p><strong>Thin hair doesn't have to be worn short</strong></p> <p>I had a client who wore her super-thin hair short for years because she thought she had to. I finally talked her into growing it out into a stacked bob, and everyone now says she looks incredible.</p> <p><strong>I know you’ve heard you shouldn’t wash your hair before getting an updo, because a little grit can help maintain the style</strong></p> <p>But please don’t show up with hair that’s greasy, tangled, or smelly. Wash it the night before, and don’t put any styling products in it. That way, we hairdressers can start fresh and create our own texture.</p> <p><strong>Every year after school starts, at least one mom brings in her daughter with hair down to her waist and tells us to give her a pixie cut</strong></p> <p>We know what’s going on: a lice infestation. But when we point out the nits and tell the mum we can’t do the cut, she always acts surprised and says, “I didn’t know.” We’re thinking, Yeah, right. To save the embarrassment for all involved, get the situation under control before your appointment.</p> <p><strong>We don’t “wash” your hair – we “shampoo” it</strong></p> <p>When we’re trying to make you feel pampered, we can’t use the same word you use for doing dishes. One of the secrets to great hair according to pros is a cold rinse after shampooing.</p> <p><strong>Come at least five minutes early</strong></p> <p>If you’re running late, please call ahead. Show me some basic respect. This is a business, not fun and games.</p> <p><strong>Don't ask me to squeeze you in</strong></p> <p>My work takes time. When a client says she’s in a rush, I tell her she needs to schedule her time better. If I’m already booked, I’d be taking time and effort away from other clients. You wouldn’t like being treated that way. A rush job never looks good.</p> <p><strong>I'm not a psychologist</strong></p> <p>Hairdresser school does not teach about counter transference, projection, negative reinforcement, or personality disorders. If you’re looking for a therapist, all I have is a tail comb and an opinion.</p> <p><strong>Layers are the magic remedy</strong></p> <p>Some women think that if they keep their hair all one length the way it was in high school, everyone will think they’re still in high school. Guess what? You’re not. As you get older, you need to soften the lines around your face.</p> <p><strong>Bodies and hair change as hormones change</strong></p> <p>If your hair is dry, listless, or brittle, or if it’s not holding your colour or style the way it used to, see a doctor. If your hair isn’t overprocessed, you could be pregnant (surprise!) or menopausal (yes, I can tell).</p> <p><strong>Take a picture</strong></p> <p>Some clients will say, “Cut my hair just like you did last time.” That always baffles me. The average time between appointments is six to eight weeks. I have hundreds of clients. I already know which are the best haircuts for every face shape, but how am I supposed to remember exactly how I did your hair the last time? If you want a carbon copy of a cut and style you loved, take a picture and show me.</p> <p><strong>We see women at their worse</strong></p> <p>Their hair is wet, they have foils on their hair, they have no makeup on. There’s nothing for them to hide behind. So they tell us everything. The truth is, I really don’t care about their personal lives. I’m only interested in their hair. Hairdressers and manicurists have seen plenty of crazy things.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/beauty/hair-and-nails/36-secrets-your-hair-stylist-wont-tell-you?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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21 secrets hotels won’t tell you

<p><strong>Insider tips to get the best from your next hotel visit</strong></p> <p>Hotel receptionists spill their best secrets – from how to score a discounted room to how to get that Wi-Fi charge waived from your bill!</p> <p><strong>Don't try to bargain with the reservation number we give you</strong></p> <p>The 1-800 reservations number will probably send you to a central office with set rates. If you call the hotel directly instead, you can negotiate.</p> <p><strong>We don't get everything from online booking sites</strong></p> <p>Hotels can pay a commission of up to 30 percent to online hotel booking sites. So offer me 20 percent less than the online price, and we both come out ahead.</p> <p><strong>Don't expect a discount if we are not independently owned</strong></p> <p>Independently owned hotels are far more likely to give you a discount. Some chains baulk at dropping the rate.</p> <p><strong>Give the housekeepers time</strong></p> <p>If you show up at 11 a.m. and check-in time is 2 p.m., please don’t be upset if your room isn’t ready. I can’t make the housekeepers go any faster. And you don’t want them to rush.</p> <p><strong>Ask in private for a room upgrade</strong></p> <p>Don’t ask me for an upgrade when other guests are within earshot. Want a more spacious room without paying more? Request a corner room.</p> <p><strong>Ask the front desk about excursions</strong></p> <p>Some concierges get kickbacks for sending you to pricey tourist traps. If you want an unbiased recommendation, ask me.</p> <p><strong>We all lie</strong></p> <p>Sometimes my boss makes me lie, like when the elevator’s not working and I tell you someone is coming to fix it soon. I know it won’t be fixed until Monday, because the manager doesn’t want to pay the repairman’s weekend rate.</p> <p><strong>Don't call during check-in time</strong></p> <p>Don’t call between 9am and 1pm with a special request. Chances are I’ll have a long line of guests waiting to check out or in and will just want to get you off the phone.</p> <p><strong>Being a maid means a lot of different things at a hotel</strong></p> <p>My official job description: errand runner, toilet plunger, bow-tie tier, towel deliverer and chef (that free continental breakfast doesn’t appear from above). I’ve also sprinkled rooms with rose petals and dealt with dead bodies. All for about a minimum wage.</p> <p><strong>Please take the shower soaps</strong></p> <p>We love it when you steal the soap, shampoo and lotion. That’s why we put our logo on them. But pillows, bedspreads and irons? We’re billing your credit card.</p> <p><strong>Keep it down</strong></p> <p>Even the best hotels aren’t totally soundproof, and I’m the one who has to send the security guard up to knock on your door when someone complains.</p> <p><strong>Save the Wi-Fi bill for checkout</strong></p> <p>It’s a lot easier for me to remove Wi-Fi charges from your bill at checkout than to agree to waive them in advance.</p> <p><strong>Hourly rates aren't a good sign</strong></p> <p>No, we don’t have an hourly rate. You don’t want to be at a hotel like that anyway.</p> <p><strong>Most of us are happy to help</strong></p> <p>If you ask us to, we’ll tell callers you’re not registered at the hotel, or tell you where to park so you can’t see your car from the interstate. But we’re also talking behind your back about what you might be hiding.</p> <p><strong>Always request clean linens when you check in</strong></p> <p>We wash the sheets every day, but blankets often only get washed once a week. And the bedspreads? If there’s no visible stain, it’s maybe once a month.</p> <p><strong>In this economy, everything is negotiable </strong></p> <p>If your hotel offers a hot breakfast buffet as well as a free continental breakfast, ask if you can get the hot breakfast with your room. Very rarely will we tell you no.</p> <p><strong>If you travel frequently, use the same hotel each time</strong></p> <p>Get to know the staff. Regulars are recognised and treated as VIPs. You could get free upgrades, discounts and more.</p> <p><strong>Never use the long distance calling feature</strong></p> <p>Unless you want to pay $10 for a five-minute call, it’s best to specifically ask for it to be turned off. We’ve had situations in which housekeepers have made calls from a guest’s phone.</p> <p><strong>If you request a king bed, there's no guarantee</strong></p> <p>No matter how confident the reservations agent sounds, call the hotel directly and make the request again a few days before you travel. Then do it again on the day of. If we still don’t have one when you get there and you’re nice about it, we may comp your breakfast or upgrade you to a suite.</p> <p><strong>Don't act like you own the place</strong></p> <p>Our policy is to automatically upgrade people if we’ve got the space – but I’m not going to do it if you’re snarky.</p> <p><strong>It seems to have gone out of fashion to tip your room cleaner</strong></p> <p>Most are paid minimum wage with the expectation of tips. Take care of them and they’ll take care of you.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/travel/travel-hints-tips/21-secrets-hotels-wont-tell-you?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Travel Tips

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Chris Dawson tries to overturn guilty verdict ahead of tell-all interview

<p>Chris Dawson has lodged the paperwork to begin the process of overturning his guilty conviction for the murder of his wife Lynette 40 years ago.</p> <p>The 74-year-old has spent the last five weeks in Sydney's Silverwater Jail, as he awaits his sentencing day in court on November 11.</p> <p>Despite the high-profile case producing a guilty verdict, Dawson has always maintained his innocence over the disappearance of Lynette, whose body still hasn't been found.</p> <p>Sources told <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11279117/Chris-Dawson-lodges-appeal-against-conviction-murdering-wife-Lynette-daughter-breaks-silence.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Daily Mail Australia</a> last month that Dawson's legal team had recently lodged a notice of intention to appeal with the NSW Court of Criminal Appeal.</p> <p><em>Nine News</em> also reported on Tuesday night the paperwork flagging Dawson's intention to appeal his conviction has now been formally submitted, as the network prepares to air an interview with one of his daughters.</p> <p>Shanelle Dawson is preparing to open up about growing up without her mother, along with the torment and confusion that arose form her disappearance in a tell-all interview with <em>60 Minutes</em>.</p> <p>Shanelle, who was just four years old when her mum Lynette vanished in 1982, said she was always told by her father that her mother left because she didn't love her and her other sisters.</p> <p>"I feel a lot of rage and anger towards him," Shanelle says in the <em>60 Minutes</em> preview.</p> <p>"It was manipulative and gaslighting us."</p> <p>"Whatever he said or threatened me kept me quiet for the next 40 years."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / 60 Minutes</em></p>

Legal

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How to tell if someone is trustworthy

<p>Trust is a key ingredient of success in any relationship whether it is platonic, romantic or business. But how do you know if you can trust somebody or if you should run for the hills? What exactly is the difference between someone who is trustworthy and someone who isn’t? Sometimes it’s very obvious, sometimes it isn’t. Some people have a natural instinct for detecting untrustworthy characters while some of us might need a bit of help to develop the skill. Assessing trustworthiness takes time and there are always individual circumstances to consider but here are a few things to look out for.</p> <p><strong>Honest</strong></p> <p>A trustworthy person is an honest person. Someone who is constantly lying is probably hiding something. Always consider intentions and there are sometimes benign reasons why somebody might tell a white lie, but if someone is continually being dishonest, warning bells should be going off! Sometimes it’s difficult to determine if someone is lying though. Here are some things to consider:</p> <ul> <li>The person repeats your question or doesn’t answer the questions. For example, “That’s a good question.” This may be a signal to buy time to form a response.</li> <li>The person is always reminding you how honest and trustworthy they are. For example, “I would never lie, I’m an honest person.”</li> <li>The person makes very showy and boastful claims but none of it can be verified or validated. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Reliable</strong></p> <p>Being reliable and dependable is the hallmark of a trustworthy person. Of course, people do let us down from time to time but a consistently unreliable person is usually untrustworthy.</p> <ul> <li>The person constantly does not do what they say they will even if explicitly promised. There is always a reason though such as an unpredictable drama.</li> <li>The person is always late for appointments, meetings or dates with you.</li> <li>The person is never available to see or meet you.</li> <li>The person’s words and actions contradict. Untrustworthy people will make a lot of claims but when actions consistently don’t follow words, red flags should be appearing.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Communication</strong></p> <p>A trustworthy person will be open, transparent and attentive in their communication whereas those who might have something to hide are heavily focused on themselves.</p> <ul> <li>The person constantly talks themselves up with boastful statements and criticises or tears other people down. If the person is gossiping about someone else, what’s to stop them doing the same to you?</li> <li>The person does not support or encourage you. Instead they play down or make a joke about your thoughts, ideas and accomplishments.</li> <li>The person is never forthcoming with information about themselves. You have to constantly ask questions but they try and redirect the conversation or reply with partial truths.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Intuition</strong></p> <p>Your gut-feeling is perhaps your most important tool and it’s usually correct. Don’t ignore feelings of anxiousness or wariness. We often want to think the best of people but if your gut is telling you something is up with this person, it might be right. Look out for the other indicators and if any of them are sounding familiar, combined with your intuition, make an exit, fast!</p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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Camilla opens up in tell-all interview

<p dir="ltr">Ahead of her 75th birthday, the Duchess of Cambridge has opened up about her family life, her future role as Queen Consort, her love for Australia and her fear of public speaking.</p> <p dir="ltr">In a wide-ranging interview with <em><a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/royals/british-royal-family/camilla-parker-bowles-family-73924" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Woman’s Weekly</a></em>, accompanied by a sweet series of photos <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/behind-the-scenes-photos-of-camilla-s-cover-shoot-snapped-by-duchess-kate" target="_blank" rel="noopener">taken by her stepdaughter-in-law Kate Middleton</a>, Camilla said it was “a great honour” to be granted the title of Queen Consort by Queen Elizabeth II earlier this year.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Obviously it’s a great honour and I was deeply touched for Her Majesty to have given me this role,” Camilla told the publication.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Duchess will be following in the footsteps of the late Prince Philip, who she revealed was someone she often turned to for counsel while learning the ropes of royal life.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The Duke of Edinburgh was always a very good ear. He was a role model to me and a very good person to take advice from because he always told me what he thought, which was very helpful, especially with things about the army because I took over the Rifles [regiment] from him,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was always two steps behind the Queen, which for a man must be much more difficult than for a woman - and somebody as maccho as he was, who commanded ships. So I think I learned [from the Duke] that your place is several feet behind the monarch. You’re there as a back-up.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Having grown up in rural England with her brother, sister, and their ponies, it was a role Camilla never would have imagined she would be tasked with.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Life was very laid-back,” Camilla recalled.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It certainly gave us all a very good grounding, because we could start off with a smile on our face. As far as I remember it was perfect."</p> <p dir="ltr">Their mother, Rosalind Shand (née Cubitt), was a well-connected woman from a wealthy aristocratic family who taught her children the art of small talk, a skill that has been critical for Camilla’s royal life.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My mother was absolutely brilliant at making us speak to people,” she recalled. </p> <p dir="ltr">"She used to have people to dinner; it didn't matter who it was, old or young, some of them we thought were incredibly boring, but she used to sit at the end of the table and say: 'Talk! I don't care whether you're talking about your pony or your homework, just talk!'”</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite this, the Duchess admitted she finds delivering speeches - a task she has been called to do more often in recent times - is terrifying.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I get petrified making speeches," Camilla said. </p> <p dir="ltr">"I hate every moment of it. People always say it'll get better and sometimes I find it's all right if I really know my subject, but sometimes [I get] that awful thing beforehand of really shaking and feeling seriously sick.</p> <p dir="ltr">"My husband is very good; he loves it. Because he's a very good actor, I think. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was the worst actor in the whole school. If I was given one line to say, it always came out backwards. So I think speeches – no, they're never going to be my favourite things."</p> <p dir="ltr">Though she doesn’t share his passion for public speaking, Camilla does share his love of Australia that developed after the couple’s inaugural visit in 2012.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I think he [the Prince of Wales] always wanted to take me there and show me what it was like,” Camilla said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was proved right. I love Australia.”</p> <p dir="ltr">She added that they both appreciated what she calls the “take it or leave it” spirit of Australians, as well the Australian sense of humour.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I like that everybody's down to earth and they say what they think,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I'd much rather people were out there saying what they think than beating round the bush, telling you a lot of porkies.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Though she had hoped to return for a visit this year, Camilla said their schedules, filled with events celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, have prevented them.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This year we were ready to go back again, but we just couldn’t fit it into the Jubilee schedules,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But we’ll be back soon, I hope.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-09a875fd-7fff-68f0-0e9a-499ce58bd948"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: @womansweeklymag (Instagram)</em></p>

Beauty & Style