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How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Hall of Fame fighter hospitalised after saving elderly parents from fire

<p>In the heart of Ohio, a story of heroism and sacrifice has emerged from the flames of a devastating house fire.</p> <p>Mark Coleman, a revered figure in the world of mixed martial arts (MMA) and the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), found himself in the midst of a harrowing ordeal, where his actions transcended the octagon to demonstrate unparalleled bravery and love for family.</p> <p>On a fateful Tuesday morning, as the dawn painted the sky over Fremont, Ohio, tragedy struck the Coleman household. Details of the fire initially emerged through local news outlets, shrouded in anonymity. However, it wasn't long before the truth surfaced – it was Mark Coleman, the UFC legend, who had selflessly rushed into the inferno to rescue his elderly parents from imminent danger.</p> <p>Reports indicated that Coleman, aged 59, wasted no time in the face of adversity. With unwavering determination, he courageously carried both of his parents, Dan and Connie Foos Coleman, to safety, braving the engulfing flames that threatened to consume their home. Yet, his valour knew no bounds as he plunged back into the fiery abyss, driven by an instinctive urge to save another beloved member of the family – their loyal dog, Hammer.</p> <p>Tragically, despite his desperate efforts, the canine companion did not survive the blaze. Coleman's daughter, Kenzie, revealed on social media that Hammer's persistent barking had roused her father from slumber, ultimately saving his life. This heartbreaking loss added another layer of sorrow to an already traumatic event.</p> <p>As news of Coleman's heroic act spread, an outpouring of support and prayers flooded social media platforms. His second daughter Morgan, in an emotional Instagram post, recounted her father's selfless deeds and pleaded for continued prayers during this trying time. To the Coleman family, Mark wasn't just a UFC pioneer; he was a beacon of strength and resilience, a cherished father and a beloved friend.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C4bQHaopteq/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C4bQHaopteq/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Morgan Coleman (@mocoleman18)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Mark Coleman's legacy in the world of MMA is undeniable. Dubbed "The Godfather of Ground-and-Pound", he etched his name in the annals of UFC history as the organisation's inaugural heavyweight champion in 1997. His contributions to the sport earned him a well-deserved place in the UFC Hall of Fame in 2008, solidifying his status as a true icon.</p> <p>However, beyond the glitz and glory of the octagon, Coleman's journey has been marked by personal struggles and triumphs. In 2020, he battled a heart attack, a testament to his resilience in the face of adversity. A year later, he confronted his demons, seeking rehabilitation for alcoholism, and emerged stronger, embracing a healthier lifestyle.</p> <p>Author Jonathan Snowden, who shared a close bond with Coleman and was poised to document his remarkable life story, offered a glimpse into the aftermath of the fire. Through poignant images capturing the devastation, Snowden provided a raw and unfiltered portrayal of the ordeal. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is what's left of the house Mark Coleman and his family were in last night.</p> <p>Mark's dog Hammer woke him up to a house in flames. He saved both his parents and is fighting for his life. <a href="https://t.co/hicYhv7SDm">pic.twitter.com/hicYhv7SDm</a></p> <p>— Jonathan Snowden (@JESnowden) <a href="https://twitter.com/JESnowden/status/1767637195555299781?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 12, 2024</a></p></blockquote> <p><em>Images: Instagram / Twitter (X)</em></p>

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How to navigate a parent’s cancer diagnosis – like Princes William and Harry will now have to do

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-harkin-1510450">Lydia Harkin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a></em></p> <p>King Charles’ <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68209998">cancer diagnosis</a> means the royal family has joined the approximately 3 million families in the UK affected by the disease. His family has already gathered around in support. William, Prince of Wales, has taken over some public duties for his father. And younger son Harry, who lives in California, flew to the UK to visit after the diagnosis was announced.</p> <p>If you, like William and Harry, are navigating a parent’s diagnosis, you are not alone. Around 400,000 people are <a href="https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/research/cancer-statistics-fact-sheet">diagnosed</a> each year. This can be a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4287">frightening</a> and difficult time for families, and can change family dynamics.</p> <p>Adult children may find themselves offering emotional and practical support for a parent in a way that has not been required before, through managing medications and symptoms, travel to medical appointments, help with meal preparation and financial support.</p> <p>It can be rewarding to support a loved one and an important way to actively work together, but it can also be stressful. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.4056">Studies have found</a> that family caregivers are generally more anxious and more likely to hide their emotional distress when compared with their family member with cancer.</p> <h2>Being a supportive family, even in conflict</h2> <p>Family support can act as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2333">“social cure”</a> against the stress of a life-changing illness. The social cure theory proposes that being a part of a social group (or multiple groups) has benefits for our health and wellbeing. Social groups, particularly those with whom we strongly identify, like families, provide support and help us to combat times of stress.</p> <p>The key psychological component here is that people feel they belong to and identify with their groups. While undergoing cancer treatment, someone may not be able to participate in their usual social groups – through work or hobbies – as much as they used to. These groups may then become incompatible with a person’s new identity as a cancer survivor.</p> <p>Of course, not all families work together harmoniously, and may be in conflict through divorce, separation or estrangement. Social psychologists have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/bjso.12155">found that</a> “incompatible” social groups can lead to poorer mental health.</p> <p>Separated families can still come together and be a helpful social group, but they must offer the kind of support that their loved one needs. To figure this out, it is important to think about the person’s <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2333">identity</a> within the family.</p> <p>For example, a father may view his identity as an advisor, but a cancer diagnosis requires him to be cared for and to seek advice. He may feel a sense of loss for his typical family role, a loss of meaning and of control.</p> <p>However, if his family communicates openly about the difficulties they are all facing, the father may be able to continue to advise his family, in addition to receiving their advice. This can help to maintain his sense of identity as an advisor within his family, while navigating a new status as a cancer survivor.</p> <h2>Communication and support networks</h2> <p>Cancer throws patients and their loved ones into a complex health system, often for the first time, where medical decisions and terminology become important every day. Understanding <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejon.2014.03.012">the “language of cancer”</a> can help families feel more in control after a diagnosis.</p> <p>Equally important is communication within a family. Talking about the cancer, rather than treating it as a taboo topic, can improve <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejon.2020.101841">mental health for both patients and their families</a>. It may also be an opportunity to empower patients and their loved ones to seek outside support, such as counselling.</p> <p>Families spread across geographical distances (like the royal family) can offer emotional support through regular phone calls or online tools. During the pandemic, <a href="https://doi.org/10.2196/42172">I developed</a> and trialled an app to help older adults combat loneliness. The app allowed them to see a digital map of their social groups, including family members.</p> <p>Your family member with cancer may feel like a burden. This is a common fear in older adulthood generally. But reminding them of how many people are in their lives – and how many people they support – can combat this feeling.</p> <p>Social media is one way to get more involved in these reciprocal support networks. In my work, families affected by cancer have reported using online communities to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11764-017-0616-1">better understand what their family is going through</a>. Private social media groups <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/2055207619898993">dedicated to illness</a> can be helpful spaces to meet other patients and families, share experiences and normalise cancer.</p> <p>Cancer communities exist on <a href="https://doi.org/10.4103%2Fijpvm.IJPVM_36_19">Instagram</a>, on <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s00345-018-2254-2">YouTube and X/Twitter</a> and through registered cancer charities like <a href="https://www.macmillan.org.uk/">Macmillan Cancer Support</a>. These online resources all provide a way to build a network following a cancer diagnosis.</p> <p>Just as group identification is important within families, having more groups to connect to can act as a buffer during stressful times and help you all cope with your new reality.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223214/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-harkin-1510450"><em>Lydia Harkin</em></a><em>, Principal Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/nottingham-trent-university-1338">Nottingham Trent University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-navigate-a-parents-cancer-diagnosis-like-princes-william-and-harry-will-now-have-to-do-223214">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Parents busted for making their healthy child use a wheelchair to claim benefits

<p>A cruel mother and father have been jailed for over six years for forcing their healthy child to use a wheelchair in order to claim benefit payments. </p> <p>In 2012, Louise Law and her ex-husband Martin forced their then seven-year-old daughter into the wheelchair, as a ploy to gain a mobility car and disability allowance payments despite their being nothing wrong with her. </p> <p>The parents carried on with the scam for four years while they "fabricated illnesses and exaggerated symptoms" to teachers and NHS workers, all while raking in the extensive payments. </p> <p>The crown court in East Yorkshire, England, heard that the child suffered "gratuitous degradation" at being forced to use the wheelchair, as they were bullied at school and deprived of an ordinary childhood. </p> <p>In court, Louise Law admitted an offence of child cruelty, however she changed her plea on the day of a scheduled trial and was jailed for six years and nine months.</p> <p>Martin Law, now split from his wife, is now a long-term resident of a care home and was ruled unfit to enter a plea - although a jury convicted him of child cruelty, and was made subject of a guardianship order.</p> <p>Passing sentence, Judge Kate Rayfield told Mrs Law, "She missed out on so much of her childhood because of what you put her through."</p> <p>"Despite all of her tests revealing nothing wrong, you continued to subject her to appointments and investigations. You did the talking yourselves, telling the doctors lies."</p> <p>"This was a scam... You were telling her to report symptoms that she never said that she had."</p> <p>When the child reached the age of 18 in 2022, she was interviewed by police as she said the faux medical treatment from her parents began when she was six years old. </p> <p>A few initial medical appointments progressed to around 30 hospital appointments, including overnight stays.</p> <p>Prosecutor Louise Reevell told the court, "Her parents made her think that she could not walk properly. She would go to school in a wheelchair but she didn't really need it."</p> <p>Despite medical professionals proving that the child did not need the extensive medical treatment, her parents still claimed that the illnesses and symptoms of their daughter were genuine.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

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How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>It’s a shock when we realise our parents aren’t managing well at home.</p> <p>Perhaps the house and garden are looking more chaotic, and Mum or Dad are relying more on snacks than nutritious meals. Maybe their grooming or hygiene has declined markedly, they are socially isolated or not doing the things they used to enjoy. They may be losing weight, have had a fall, aren’t managing their medications correctly, and are at risk of getting scammed.</p> <p>You’re worried and you want them to be safe and healthy. You’ve tried to talk to them about aged care but been met with swift refusal and an indignant declaration “I don’t need help – everything is fine!” Now what?</p> <p>Here are four things to consider.</p> <h2>1. Start with more help at home</h2> <p>Getting help and support at home can help keep Mum or Dad well and comfortable without them needing to move.</p> <p>Consider drawing up a roster of family and friends visiting to help with shopping, cleaning and outings. You can also use home aged care services – or a combination of both.</p> <p>Government subsidised home care services provide from one to 13 hours of care a week. You can get more help if you are a veteran or are able to pay privately. You can take advantage of things like rehabilitation, fall risk-reduction programs, personal alarms, stove automatic switch-offs and other technology aimed at increasing safety.</p> <p>Call <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/">My Aged Care</a> to discuss your options.</p> <h2>2. Be prepared for multiple conversations</h2> <p>Getting Mum or Dad to accept paid help can be tricky. Many families often have multiple conversations around aged care before a decision is made.</p> <p>Ideally, the older person feels supported rather than attacked during these conversations.</p> <p>Some families have a meeting, so everyone is coming together to help. In other families, certain family members or friends might be better placed to have these conversations – perhaps the daughter with the health background, or the auntie or GP who Mum trusts more to provide good advice.</p> <p>Mum or Dad’s main emotional support person should try to maintain their relationship. It’s OK to get someone else (like the GP, the hospital or an adult child) to play “bad cop”, while a different person (such as the older person’s spouse, or a different adult child) plays “good cop”.</p> <h2>3. Understand the options when help at home isn’t enough</h2> <p>If you have maximised home support and it’s not enough, or if the hospital won’t discharge Mum or Dad without extensive supports, then you may be <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/8/1504/5863160">considering a nursing home</a> (also known as residential aged care in Australia).</p> <p>Every person has a legal right to <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/9-your-right-choose-where-you-live">choose where we live</a> (unless they have lost capacity to make that decision).</p> <p>This means families can’t put Mum or Dad into residential aged care against their will. Every person also has the right to choose to take risks. People can choose to continue to live at home, even if it means they might not get help immediately if they fall, or eat poorly. We should respect Mum or Dad’s decisions, even if we disagree with them. Researchers call this “dignity of risk”.</p> <p>It’s important to understand Mum or Dad’s point of view. Listen to them. Try to figure out what they are feeling, and what they are worried might happen (which might not be rational).</p> <p>Try to understand what’s really important to their quality of life. Is it the dog, having privacy in their safe space, seeing grandchildren and friends, or something else?</p> <p>Older people are often understandably concerned about losing independence, losing control, and having strangers in their personal space.</p> <p>Sometimes families prioritise physical health over psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider both when considering nursing home admission.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9826495/">Research</a> suggests going into a nursing home temporarily increases loneliness, risk of depression and anxiety, and sense of losing control.</p> <p>Mum and Dad should be involved in the decision-making process about where they live, and when they might move.</p> <p>Some families start looking “just in case” as it often takes some time to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/questions-to-ask-when-choosing-an-aged-care-home-for-a-loved-one/10302590">find the right nursing home</a> and there can be a wait.</p> <p>After you have your top two or three choices, take Mum or Dad to visit them. If this is not possible, take pictures of the rooms, the public areas in the nursing home, the menu and the activities schedule.</p> <p>We should give Mum or Dad information about their options and risks so they can make informed (and hopefully better) decisions.</p> <p>For instance, if they visit a nursing home and the manager says they can go on outings whenever they want, this might dispel a belief they are “locked up”.</p> <p>Having one or two weeks “respite” in a home may let them try it out before making the big decision about staying permanently. And if they find the place unacceptable, they can try another nursing home instead.</p> <h2>4. Understand the options if a parent has lost capacity to make decisions</h2> <p>If Mum or Dad have lost capacity to choose where they live, family may be able to make that decision in their best interests.</p> <p>If it’s not clear whether a person has capacity to make a particular decision, a medical practitioner can assess for that capacity.</p> <p>Mum or Dad may have appointed an <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/wills/appoint-enduring-guardian/what-enduring-guardian">enduring guardian</a> to make decisions about their health and lifestyle decisions when they are not able to.</p> <p>An enduring guardian can make the decision that the person should live in residential aged care, if the person no longer has the capacity to make that decision themselves.</p> <p>If Mum or Dad didn’t appoint an enduring guardian, and have lost capacity, then a court or tribunal can <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/guardianship/information-about-guardianship">appoint</a> that person a private guardian (usually a family member, close friend or unpaid carer).</p> <p>If no such person is available to act as private guardian, a public official may be appointed as public guardian.</p> <h2>Deal with your own feelings</h2> <p>Families often feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-023-04538-9">guilt and grief</a> during the decision-making and transition process.</p> <p>Families need to act in the best interest of Mum or Dad, but also balance other caring responsibilities, financial priorities and their own wellbeing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221210/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311"><em>Lee-Fay Low</em></a><em>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-handle-it-if-my-parent-is-refusing-aged-care-4-things-to-consider-221210">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Flight cancelled after parents demand free upgrade for their child

<p dir="ltr">A flight was delayed for hours before being ultimately cancelled after two parents demanded that their child was upgraded to first class for free. </p> <p dir="ltr">A plane in China was grounded for three hours after the parents caused a ruckus with the cabin crew, and were eventually kicked off the aircraft. </p> <p dir="ltr">According to a fellow passenger, the argument kicked off when an unsupervised child began to sob uncontrollably after boarding a flight from Chengdu to Beijing. </p> <p dir="ltr">As it turned out, the inconsolable toddler’s parents were seated in first class but had only bought their child an economy ticket.</p> <p dir="ltr">It was then that the angry dad confronted the staff, demanding that his son be moved to first class at no extra cost.</p> <p dir="ltr">According to the <em>South China Morning Post</em>, the irate dad explained that because he had already paid for two first class tickets, his child’s upgrade should be free. </p> <p dir="ltr">In the clip shot by a fellow passenger, the outraged dad began berating a group of passengers, crew members, and security guards as they repeatedly explained why his child isn’t entitled to an upgrade.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Stop swearing at me,” fumed the father. “You have no right to do that.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When a security guard attempts to de-escalate the situation, the parent lays into him, shouting: “What gives you the right to order me about?”</p> <p dir="ltr">This prompts a woman to retort: “You’ve wasted too much of our time and we won’t tolerate it any longer.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After three hours of back and forth, the couple were eventually kicked off the plane, while the flight was cancelled. </p> <p dir="ltr">The entitled passenger has since been rinsed on social media with one commenter fuming, “This man is so selfish.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Others suggested solutions for the father that didn’t involve the airline giving the man an extra first-class seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He can switch seats,” advised one person. “Let him sit in economy class, and have the mum take care of the child in the first-class cabin.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Some on social media were quick to chastise the airline for their handling of the situation, with one person writing, “Keeping the quarrel going for hours? The problem-solving skills of the crew are poor.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Twitter</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Parents slapped with hefty fee over badly behaved children

<p dir="ltr">Two parents have been slapped with a hefty fine tacked onto their restaurant bill after their children caused a ruckus during dinner. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kyle and Lyndsey Landmann were dining at a restaurant in Georgia, USA, when they were given a $50 fine for their allegedly badly behaved kids. </p> <p dir="ltr">Two weeks after the incident, Kyle took to Google to leave a negative review for the eatery to say he was “disappointed by the experience”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The owner came out and told me he was adding $50 to my bill because of my children’s behaviour,” he wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My kids watched a tablet until the food arrived, ate their food and my wife took them outside while I waited and paid the bill.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lyndsey went on to tell <em>Today</em> that her kids were well behaved, although they were joined by other families, with 11 children in total at the table. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The kids were sitting at one end of the table and they were being so good,” Landmann said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“'I even commented halfway through the meal, ‘I can’t believe how well-behaved they are’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After dinner, restaurant owner Tim Richter approached the table and told the party about the additional charge on the menu, which reads, “Adult surcharge: For adults unable to parent.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Be Respectful to staff, property, and self. No Respect, No Service.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Landmann said she was expecting a compliment for the well behaved kids, but Richter said there would be $50 added to each bill at their table. </p> <p dir="ltr">When Landmann then asked for an explanation, she claimed Richter told her they were being “too loud”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He was angry that the kids were “running around outside” by the water after dinner, even though they were chaperoned by adults, she clarified.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was like, ‘They were quiet the whole time’. He got in our faces and told us that we belonged at Burger King and not at his restaurant. We asked to speak to the owner and he said he was the owner,” Landmann explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I looked around the restaurant and everybody was frozen watching this show he was putting on. He was yelling.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The 61-year-old restaurant owner said that he implemented the rule during the pandemic, but never actually charged the couple, saying, “We want parents to be parents.”</p> <p dir="ltr">However, several other Google reviews blasted the quality of the service and the owner's attitude, including one that warns diners with children to steer clear.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Location, Location, Location host loses both parents in tragic accident

<p>In heart-wrenching news has shaken the world of television, beloved <em>Location, Location, Location </em>host Phil Spencer has spoken out about the devastating loss of his parents in a tragic accident on their family farm.</p> <p>Spencer paid a somber tribute to his father Richard, known affectionately as David, aged 89, and his mother Anne, 82, who were both tragically lost.</p> <p>In a poignant display of love, Phil, now 53, shared an image of the couple and wrote: "Very sadly both of my amazing parents died on Friday.</p> <p>"As a family we are all trying to hold onto the fact Mum and Dad went together and that neither will ever have to mourn the loss of the other one. Which is a blessing in itself."</p> <p>Spencer went on to disclose the harrowing details surrounding the accident, giving a glimpse into the tragic events that unfolded on that fateful day: "The car, going very slowly, toppled over a bridge on the farm drive, upside down into the river. There were no physical injuries and I very much doubt they would have even fought it - they would have held hands under the water and quietly slipped away.</p> <p>Spencer acknowledged the heroic efforts of his brother, who valiantly attempted to save their parents in the aftermath of the crash.</p> <p>"As many farmers do - my brother had a penknife and so was able to cut the seat belts - he pulled them out of the river but they never regained consciousness.</p> <p>"Although desperately sad and shocked beyond all belief - all family are clear that if there can ever be such a thing as having a 'good end' - this was it."</p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Spencer also recalled a poignant conversation he had with his mother, a conversation now weighed down by the melancholy of hindsight: "Although they were both on extremely good form in the days before (hence the sudden idea to go out to lunch), Mums Parkinson's and Dads Dementia had been worsening and the long term future was set to be a challenge.</span></p> <p>"So much so that Mum said to me only a week ago that she had resigned to thinking 'now it looks like we will probably go together'. And so they did."</p> <p>As he concluded his heartfelt statement, Spencer mused on the overwhelming nature of their passing, acknowledging the future comfort that might come from the knowledge that they departed from a place they held dear.</p> <p>"It feels horrendous right now, but after almost 60 years of marriage - to die together on the farm they so loved will, I know, be a comfort in the future.</p> <p>"Mum Dad are together which is precisely where they would have wanted to be. ❤️"</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwKpOWJr4Wj/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwKpOWJr4Wj/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Phil Spencer (@philspencertv)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Kirstie Allsopp, Phil's co-host on <em>Location, Location, Location</em>, a dear friend, was among the first to respond, her words echoing the collective grief felt by many: "Such a brave and loving statement and so typical of you &amp; your lovely family. So many people have you all in their thoughts and prayers. xxx"</p> <p>Tragically, David and Anne were en route to a local pub for lunch when their car veered off the access road, plunging into a shallow river on their estate.</p> <p>Emergency services, fire brigade and police attended the scene, and an air ambulance landing nearby at the Littlebourne farm in Kent.</p> <p>Despite efforts to save them, Richard succumbed at the hospital, with Anne following suit shortly thereafter.</p> <p>Kirstie reflected: “I’ve spoken to Phil and it’s tragic for the Spencer family, but his parents were together and that’s something that is a great source of solace to them all.</p> <p>“The family is very loving and close. There are four children, Phil, Robert, Caryn and Helen, and they had eight grandchildren.</p> <p>“This is awful for all of the family, but they were together at the end and they were lovely people."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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"What were their parents thinking?!" Teacher releases list of hilarious student names

<p>In a world where coming up with a standard name seems about as trendy as using a landline phone, parents are unleashing their inner creativity by bestowing upon their offspring names that sound like they were created during a fever dream.</p> <p>We are clearly smack bang in the middle of the era of "Name your child after a random object you find in the pantry" – and teachers are the unsung heroes bravely navigating the choppy waters of these monikers. Specifically, how to spell (and pronounce) them properly.</p> <p>Now, let's not pretend this phenomenon is fresh off the naming press. Celebrities have been gifting their kids with names that could pass as WiFi passwords for donks. It was just a matter of time before the masses caught onto the fad like a catchy tune you can't unhear. But spare a thought for those noble educators who are more baffled than a cat watching a magic trick when confronted with these labels during roll call.</p> <p>Enter one valiant and anonymous teacher, armed with a class register that reads like a cryptic crossword puzzle. She unveiled her list of quirky names on the modern-day town square, aka Facebook, explaining that she merely gave the enrolment list a "blink and you'll miss it" glance. Because let's face it, no one has time to decode this kindergarten code on a Tuesday morning.</p> <p>So, brace yourself, because the highlights of this peculiar parade include names like Jaxen (apparently the 'x' gives it that extra pizzazz) and Aliyah, which sounds like a harmonious collision of Aladdin and Elijah. But the true gems are still to come.</p> <p>Hold onto your hats, for there's a Syakyra in the house! It's pronounced like "Shakira", because why make life easy when you can transform spelling into an extreme sport? Also on the roster of eccentricities are Rhydah, Presillar, Christisarah (which sounds like someone sneezed while naming their child), Anjewel'Lea (because apostrophes are the new vowels), and Biar Biar – quite possibly the sound of someone giving up mid-naming.</p> <p>The list goes on, unveiling Deklyn, Alarna (Is this a name or an exotic spice?), Aaryah (a name that looks like a typo in progress), Maz (likely short for Mazel Tov), Angel-Lee (a tribute to both celestial beings and two first names), and Karleb (a rebel in the world of traditional spelling).</p> <p>Social media users eagerly devoured this buffet of bewildering baby names, chiming in with their own comedic relief. One humorist quipped that some parents should enrol themselves in school, presumably for a crash course in 'Name Your Kid Without Making Them the Butt of Jokes.'</p> <p>Another jester added, "This really is tragic, at least none of them will get bullied because they're all so bad lol." A self-proclaimed comedian jibed, "These parents really aren't thinking it through."</p> <p>Yet amid the chuckles and facepalms, some thought the names were about as wild as a cup of herbal tea. One wise soul pointed out that among the chaos were rather mundane names like Diamond, Aliyah, Jaylene, Porsha, and Aalijah. Apparently, normality is now measured against the Syakyras of the world.</p> <p>Meanwhile, teachers everywhere collectively sighed in sympathy as they remembered their own quirky classroom encounters. One recounted an encounter with a "J'ley" (pronounced like Jaylee), a name that's the linguistic equivalent of a Rubik's Cube.</p> <p>A pupil named Pistol also made an appearance – because what kid doesn't want a name that guarantees zero playground conflicts? And lest we forget, a friend's teacher had the honour of teaching A'Blessyn. It's like the alphabet gipped, and the resulting letters spelled "Bless this child with an unforgettable name."</p> <p>However, the chaos isn't limited to the classroom. It's infiltrated even the most intimate corners of existence. Enter Reddit, where an expectant British dad took to the digital confessional to seek advice on his partner's fantastical name choices for their impending bundle of joy.</p> <p>The British bloke confessed that he'd prefer his offspring not be mistaken for an experimental rocket launch or a motor oil brand. He's opting for classic dignity, imagining a world where his kid doesn't have to explain why their name sounds like a weather forecast for Mercury. Meanwhile, the partner, a visionary in the field of avant-garde nomenclature, has pitched names like Fennix (for the spelling-challenged phoenix), Park (because nature reserves are inspiring, apparently), and Diesel (coming soon to a gas station near you).</p> <p>And so, as teachers practice their tongue-twister warm-ups and parents wage a war of wits over naming rights, we bid adieu to a world where names like John and Sarah were once considered bold.</p> <p>The age of the bewildering baby name is upon us, and the only certainty is that there's a whole generation of kids out there ready to conquer the world with names that defy both pronunciation and reason.</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Advice on dealing with tricky in-laws

<p>From heated discussions to awkward family dinners, your relationship with your in-laws can have a big impact on family time. Here’s how to navigate this sometimes tricky dynamic.</p> <p>There’s nothing worse than heading to a family engagement when you have a son-in-law (or your daughter’s parents-in-law) that you just don’t get along with. Whether there's been a fight that you haven’t been able to move on from, or you simply don’t get along, if you find your in-laws draining or annoying, you may need to change the boundaries.</p> <p>Do you know the old saying, “good fences make good neighbours”? Think of your in-laws like your neighbours – there needs to be really good fences (aka boundaries) in place for the relationship to run smoothly. The best way to go about this is in such a way that you don’t make anyone feel as though you're closing them out, but rather comes off that you are simply focussing on yourself and things you have going on.</p> <p>Once you’ve set boundaries, don’t be afraid to talk to your family and in-laws about them, they’re not as fragile as you think. But do choose your words carefully and keep the focus on you and what your needs are, rather than making any judgements or comments about them or their behaviour.</p> <p>Still not sure how to deal with your son, daughter, sister or brother in-law? Here are some top tips for setting boundaries and dealing with awkward situations:</p> <ol> <li>The person with the primary relationship (for example your daughter, not your son-in-law) should be the one to step in and help fix a problem if it arises. You should never be the messenger or go straight to an in-law. Gently raise the issue or concern with your immediate family member. </li> <li>Decide with your partner, or in your own time if you are single or widowed, what type of role you want your in-law/s to play in your life. If you don’t get along and spending time with them just seems to cause issues, then you might want to limit catch-ups to birthdays and big events. This is ok. Just be gentle if asked to explain. And keep your explanation brief and about you. Something along the lines of, my schedule is quite busy at the moment or I don’t feel up to going out too much, but I am looking forward to the next family get together. </li> <li>Never criticise your family for their relationship with his or her spouse/your in-laws, nor comment on your in-law to your immediate family member – for example don’t criticise your son-in-law to your daughter/his wife. This tends to only lead to complications and awkwardness. And remember, you only know what your daughter tells you and if they come to you everytime they’re upset or angry with their partner or their partner’s extended family, you’re only hearing the problems when your daughter is frustrated and upset. You might not hear all the good things and about when they make up. Don’t take these things on board and stay out of it by reserving any judgement or comments. </li> <li>Don’t get involved. Easier said than done, right? You have to trust that you have brought your children up right and they are responsible enough to navigate their own relationships, treat others respectfully and can stand up for themselves if need be. As such, you should not get involved in their issues, arguments and general day-to-day dealings with their other relationships. Stay on the peripheral, be there for some light guidance if need be, but ultimately you should just help them come to their own opinions, decisions and judgements on things rather than sharing your ones with them. </li> <li>Don’t get pulled into arguments by your child and in-law. You can be supportive and still let the couple handle their own problems. Take a step back and trust that you have raised an adult who has the vision and the courage to resolve the problems that concern his/her own family. Couples need to set boundaries for their own relationships and this can, as I am sure you know, take some time to find the right ones. </li> <li>Think of yourself as a guest. When spending time with family in big groups, and especially when you’re at someone else’s home, it is best to think of yourself as a guest and act accordingly. For example you may not like the way you son’s wife is doing things in her home (child rearing, cooking, cleaning etc), but unfortunately it is not really any of your business. This is between your son and his wife. A good checkpoint is to ask yourself if you have a sense of entitlement and expectancy that is inappropriate. If there are issues that you just can’t stand but can’t let go, then you may need to consider not visiting them.</li> </ol> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Bride and groom follow hilarious family tradition by swapping wedding outfits

<p>A newly married bride has decided to follow in her parents' hilarious footsteps by swapping her wedding day outfit with her new husband. </p> <p>Rosie Joyce, a fashion and lifestyle influencer, documented her special day online, with her picturesque wedding drawing in thousands of views. </p> <p>However, the picture perfect wedding took a jovial turn when Rosie and her husband Justin emerged in each others' wedding attire.</p> <p>Rosie drew inspiration from her parents, who started the tradition on their wedding recovery day, with Rosie's dad coming out in her mother's white wedding dress, while her mum donned Rosie's father's tux. </p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 610px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7234723167137205522&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40rosiewheeler92%2Fvideo%2F7234723167137205522%3Fembed_source%3D71223855%252C121331973%252C120811592%252C120810756%253Bnull%253Bembed_masking%26refer%3Dembed%26referer_url%3Ddk79lclgtez2i.cloudfront.net%252FGVtpj6u%253Fapp%253D1%26referer_video_id%3D7234723167137205522&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2FoAoQgDkDRYdIkAzbNowZzuM8FpKnEB8VQTfBsf%3Fx-expires%3D1684998000%26x-signature%3DwPzyFwqR8d1f6xQ5i%252F8OdYfm2f4%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>“I grew up obsessed with these photos! How did we do?” Rosie wrote in her video. “We wanted to recreate the photos and surprise everyone on our recovery day.”</p> <p>In their recreation, Justin wore Rosie's white strapless gown and Rosie dressed in Justin's wedding day suit as they snapped some adorable photos. </p> <p>The big reveal went viral online, with Rosie documenting their story in a TikTok which has over 10 million views. </p> <p>One viewer said they were "Obsessed!" with the photos, while another praised Rosie's new look, saying “You absolutely ate it up in that suit, my god.”</p> <p>And while many commenters pointed out that as darling as Rosie and her hubby looked, the real stars of this TikTok show were her parents.</p> <p>“Your parents hair?? The drinks?? The cig?? Perfection” wrote one.</p> <p>“Your Dad looks like Neil Diamond in his early years,” pointed out another, while another viewer thought "it was a deleted scene from <em>Parent Trap</em>,” noting her father's resemblance to Dennis Quaid. </p> <p>Other viewers were quick to comment on how reflective and sweet the recreation photos were, with one person writing, "This is such a cool tradition to carry on!! Absolutely love this."</p> <p>Another viewer summed up Rosie and Justin's adorable relationship, writing, "The fact that your new hubby loved the idea shows you found the one."</p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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Expert reveals why working parents are really parting ways

<p dir="ltr">Dennis R Vetrano Jr, a divorce lawyer who regularly provides insight into the secrets of his industry on social media, has revealed the major theme he has identified when it comes to working parents ending their relationships. </p> <p dir="ltr">In one of his TikTok videos, which has been viewed over 4.7 million times since its release, the US-based lawyer opens by asking, “do you want to know the major theme that I’m seeing in the divorce industry, as a divorce lawyer, as I do consults these days?"</p> <p dir="ltr">The answer, it turns out, is quite simple: “women are tired”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I am seeing working mums do it all, and I am seeing the husbands step back and say ‘huh, I don’t gotta do a thing!’,” Dennis explained. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She’s got the kids, she’s got the groceries, she’s got the laundry, she’s got the meals, she’s got the work. And by the way, she’s making all the money and she’s paying for the house, and doing everything else. </p> <p dir="ltr">“‘I’m going to go to the firehouse, I’m going to go play this, I’m going to go hang out with my friends.’ That’s the theme. </p> <p dir="ltr">“And women are tired.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Dennis’ video drew in over 10,000 comments, many from women who couldn’t agree more with what he’d said, sharing their own stories and experiences with each other. </p> <p dir="ltr">“And the younger generation of women are choosing not to marry, they have grown up watching their mums struggle and refuse to let that happen to them,” one wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">“This is why I got divorced,” another shared, to over 15.3 likes. “He then accused me of cheating! When would I have time? I don’t even sit on the couch”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“WAY less stressed since divorce. And I get nights to myself!!!” one woman said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We aren’t just tired. We are sick and tired,” one corrected.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We get sick of the mental load,” another viewer agreed. “Having to give instructions on everything. It's exhausting.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“I'm a stay at home mom to 5 and my husband legit told me today ‘I don't go to his job and help him’. It changed something in me tonight,” one revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another had something else to add to the discussion, noting that while she agreed “100%”, Dennis had forgotten “to say that the husband’s ‘super power’ was his ability to critique meals, housework, fashion, body image etc!”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

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"Shame on you": Parents' major backflip on their son's name causes outrage

<p>A father has come under fire after revealing he changed the name of his adopted son back to his biological name after almost a decade, so his biological son could have the legacy name instead. </p> <p>The man, named August, took to Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole?" thread to ask for the opinions of strangers on the internet if he had made the right decision about his child's life. </p> <p>According to the dad-of-two, the name August has "gone back for five generations" in his family, and he had always planned on giving their child the name to continue the legacy. </p> <p>When he and his wife had been trying to conceive for many years, they decided to turn to adoption so they could have a family. </p> <p>They adopted a baby boy from Vietnam, whose birth name was Thien, and decided to have it legally changed to August VI.</p> <p>However, seven years later, the couple found out they were expecting a "miracle" baby together, and decided to switch their adopted son's moniker back to Thien so that they could give the name to their biological baby instead.</p> <p>The man's post, which has since been deleted, read, "My name is August V. My name goes back five generations now and it was always my plan to make my son August VI."</p> <p>"My wife and I were horrified to find out I was essentially firing blanks and was told I would essentially never be able to father kids - heartbreaking."</p> <p>"We started the adoption process right away looking in mostly foreign countries so it would go faster, and we were able to adopt a baby boy from Vietnam."</p> <p>"His first name was Thien but my wife agreed to change his name to August VI. We also agreed we would let nature take its course because miracles can happen."</p> <p>"Seven years later, a miracle did happen and my wife turned up unexpectedly pregnant."</p> <p>"I decided with my wife's agreement that because we now have a bio son, it is better to give the firstborn biological son the family name."</p> <p>The father went on to explain that changing Thein's name was not a huge deal, because even though his legal name is August, everyone referred to him as Thein. </p> <p>When the dad informed Thein's school about the change, word got out about their decision, leading to the gossip mill in their town dubbing them "social pariahs".</p> <p>"We are the subject of massive gossip - accusations of not loving Thein enough."</p> <p>"We've heard it all through closed mouth hushed tones. It's gotten so bad. So, am I the a**hole?"</p> <p>Redditors were quick to condemn the parents' decision, with many not holding back in order to make sure the father knew that he was, in fact, the a**hole. </p> <p>One person wrote, "You are the a**hole. People like you really shouldn't adopt."</p> <p>Another said, "You're the a**hole. You dragged your kid to a legal proceeding to make sure he knows his place will always be less than your bio son."</p> <p>"Great way to show your adopted child that biology trumps all. Shame on you and your wife," another user raged.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Maddy McCann's parents' heart-wrenching post on 16-year anniversary

<p>Madeleine McCann's parents have released an emotional statement on the 16-year anniversary of when their daughter was abducted. </p> <p>Kate and Gerry McCann shared that they are still hoping for a breakthrough in the search for their daughter, who would now be 19 years old. </p> <p>Maddie vanished from her family’s holiday apartment in Portugal in May 2007 at the age of three and has not been seen since.</p> <p>The grieving parents shared that even after 16 difficult years, they struggle to put their heartbreak into words. </p> <p>Writing on the official Find Madeleine Instagram Page, Kate and Gerry posted an emotional poem called <em>The Contradiction</em> by Clare Pollard before thanking people for their support.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Crwok6gLHau/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Crwok6gLHau/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Official Find Madeleine Campaign (@officialfindmadeleine)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“The police investigation continues, and we await a breakthrough.” the post read. “Today marks the 16th anniversary of Madeleine’s abduction."</p> <p>“Still missing …… still very much missed."</p> <p>“It is hard to find the words to convey how we feel.”</p> <p>They added that the poem <em>The Contradiction</em> “resonates strongly with us”.</p> <p>The heart-wrenching poem reads, “You are not here, I’m not myself, but still I talk to you like this."</p> <p>“I cannot hold you, yet I do: please let me hold you in my head and where you are now, hold me too."</p> <p>After posting the poem, the couple wrote, “Thank you to everyone for your support – it really helps.”</p> <p>The post was flooded was comments of support, with one person writing, "We are so many who are with you, and who hope with all our hearts that she will be reunited with you. Please let this year be the year you'll get the answers you need."</p> <p>Another put it simply, "I hope she finds her way home to you."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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The reasons why sibling relationships are so special

<p>The sibling relationship is often a love-hate affair from the get-go – they’re paradoxically our fiercest competitors and closest confidants. In his book, The Sibling Effect, Jeffrey Kluger discusses why sibling relationships are the most important ones in our lives. We’ve picked out Kluger’s most interesting observations about the bond between siblings.</p> <p><strong>The sibling relationships is unique</strong></p> <p>“Siblings are the only relatives, and perhaps the only people you’ll ever know, who are with you through the entire arc of your life. Your parents leave you too soon and your kids and spouse come along late, but your siblings know you when you are in your most inchoate form. Assuming you all reach a ripe old age, they'll be with you until the very end, and for that reason, there is an intimacy and a familiarity that can't possibly be available to you in any other relationship throughout your life. Certainly, people can get along without siblings. Single children do, and there are people who have irreparably estranged relationships with their siblings who live full and satisfying lives, but to have siblings and not make the most of that resource is squandering one of the greatest interpersonal resources you'll ever have.”</p> <p><strong>Siblings teach us important skills for life</strong></p> <p>“When you learn conflict-resolution skills in the playroom, you then practice them on the playground, and that in turn stays with you. If you have a combative sibling or a physically intimidating, older sibling, you learn a lot about how to deal with situations like that later in life. If you're an older sibling and you have a younger sibling who needs mentoring or is afraid of the dark, you develop nurturing and empathic skills that you wouldn't otherwise have.”</p> <p><strong>Sibling traits are the same across hundreds of species</strong></p> <p>“So many of the sibling dynamics we find in the home are replicated in the natural, non-human world, and so much of what I found is universal across several hundreds of species. When you get up to humans, we've embroidered and built on these dynamics in all kinds of elaborate ways, but human sibling relationships are deeply rooted into the evolutionary chain.”</p> <p><strong>Why sharing is so difficult between siblings</strong></p> <p>“With very young kids, when researchers look at what the causes of fights are, some 80 per cent of all fights in the playroom break out over property disputes...Parents shouldn't just roll their eyes, even though conflicts over sharing are so common, because property for a small child is a critical way of establishing authority and control over a world in which they have virtually no power.”</p> <p><strong>Conflict with parents can make sibling relationships stronger</strong></p> <p>“When your parents, who are the anchors you're counting on the most, are falling down on the job, siblings look to each other and find ways to pull together, because the last thing you can afford to see fractured at that point is the unit among yourselves.”</p>

Relationships

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Madeleine McCann's parents speak out after DNA test results

<p>Madeleine McCann's parents have spoken out after the results of Julia Faustyna's DNA test have returned. </p> <p>Julia Faustyna, a 21-year-old Polish woman, has been claiming to be the missing British child in a high-profile campaign that has seen her undergo a DNA test to prove her identity.</p> <p>The DNA results determined that Julia is not Maddie, despite Julia's claims of having similar facial features, suffering an abusive childhood and had starting to question her parentage as a result. </p> <p>Private detective Dr Fia Johansson arranged for Julia to give samples in the US for extensive DNA tests - including a DNA test similar to a 23andMe test, which established she is not Madeleine.</p> <p>The test looked into her heritage, and showed that she is from Poland, with some Lithuanian and Romanian heritage, <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/21808585/who-julia-wendell-madeleine-mccann/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>The Sun</em></a> reported, but nothing to suggest any link to the McCann's. </p> <p>In response, a spokesman for Madeleine’s parents Kate and Gerry McCann said, “There isn’t anything to report at this time. If and when there is, it will come from The Metropolitan Police.”</p> <p>Julia is also facing a nervous wait for the results of further health tests as doctors fear she <a href="https://oversixty.co.nz/news/news/sad-health-news-for-woman-claiming-to-be-madeleine-mccann" target="_blank" rel="noopener">may have leukaemia</a>, Dr Johansson - with Julia’s permission - revealed to <em>The Sun</em>.</p> <p>She said, “Her health is very poor she has bad asthma and she suffers lots of pain in her bones."</p> <p>“She is booked in for a CT and MRI scan because of the pain in her bones."</p> <p>“Her blood work is also abnormal so my doctor here in the US is investigating whether she could have leukaemia so we are awaiting the results of that."</p> <p>“And if she needs any treatment we will make sure she gets that.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

News

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School principal forced out after parents complain statue of David is too rude

<p>Hope Carrasquilla, a US charter school principal, has been forced to resign from her position after a parent decreed an art lesson to be “pornographic”. </p> <p>Carrasquilla was given an ultimatum - either she stepped down, or she would face termination from the Tallahassee Classical School - according to the <em>Tallahassee Democrat</em>.</p> <p>“It saddens me that my time here had to end this way,” she told the publication. </p> <p>Carrasquilla also explained that she had been informed of her options by the school’s board chair, Barney Bishop. While Bishop has confirmed that he did hand down the ultimatum, he did not expand on why. However, Carrasquilla believes a Renaissance art lesson to be the main contributing factor. </p> <p>The lesson in question saw students study Michelgangelo’s classic <em>David</em>, as well as his <em>Creation of Adam </em>fresco painting, and Boticelli’s <em>Birth of Venus</em>. </p> <p>Apparently, the school is required to educate students about Renaissance art in their 6th grade. But for three parents this wasn’t reason enough, with each of them voicing their concerns about the lesson plan, while claiming that it had caused their children upset. </p> <p>Two of the parents simply wanted to have been notified about the content before it reached their children, but one had stronger feelings, branding the situation “pornographic”. </p> <p>Carrasquilla said that one of them was “point-blank upset”, and “felt her child should not be viewing those pieces.” </p> <p>But as she informed <em>HuffPost</em>, things were “a little more complicated than that”, before sharing that the school’s usual protocol would be to inform parents before their children are presented with classical art, such as David. </p> <p>According to the now-former principal, a “breakdown in communication” between herself, the direction of operations, and the art teacher has brought upon a kind of administrative oversight, and the parents had never received a letter about the lesson. </p> <p>This came after a new rule was passed in February, with the school board mandating that parents must be notified a fortnight before any “potentially controversial” was taught to students. Parents would also be presented with the option to review their child’s curriculum, as well as any related media, with a reminder to be sent a week ahead. </p> <p>“Parental rights are supreme,” Bishop explained, “and that means protecting the interests of all parents, whether it’s one, 10, 20, or 50.” </p> <p>As her story began to circulate around the globe, Carrasquilla went on to explain in a statement that for a year, Bishop had “expressed his displeasure with my leadership when parents became upset about policies or procedures not being followed to the T. </p> <p>“He was more concerned about litigation and appeasing a small minority of parents, rather than trusting my expertise as an educator for more than 25 years.” </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Art

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Teenagers who have positive relationships with their parents tend to have better outcomes as adults

<p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Parenting teenagers can be challenging, but a new study shows that those efforts ultimately pay off.</span></p> <div class="copy"> <p>When teenagers report higher levels of “parental warmth”,” communication” and time spent together, they are more likely to experience significantly higher general health, optimism and romantic relationships in early adulthood. </p> <p>That’s according to a paper by US paediatricians and social workers <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2802677" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in <em>JAMA Network.</em></p> <p>“The overall pattern of these results suggests strong relationships between adolescents and their mothers and fathers leads to better health and well-being in young adulthood,” <a href="https://www.chop.edu/news/chop-researchers-find-strong-adolescent-parent-relationships-lead-better-long-term-health" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">said the paper’s lead author</a>, Dr Carol Ford from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.</p> <p>“Efforts to strengthen parent-adolescent relationships may have important long-term health benefits.”</p> <p>Using data from the US National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health, the study followed a cohort of more than 15,000 adolescents aged 12-17 years in 1994-95 through to young adulthood (24-32 years) in 2008-09.</p> <p>The researchers found positive teen-parent relationships were also associated with lower levels of stress, depressive symptoms, nicotine dependence and substance abuse in young adults.</p> <p>The data was gathered by asking secondary-school-aged participants a series of detailed questions about their relationships with each parent, including topics such as warmth, communication, time together, academic expectations, discipline, relationship satisfaction. </p> <p>The aim of the study was to better understand the significance of parent-adolescent relationships for adult health. The study looked at the characteristics of mother-teenager and father-teenager relationships and tried to define what a “warm” relationship is, and what “communication” means.</p> <p>The researchers followed up with the participants once they reached adulthood, to ask about health, mental health, sexual behaviour, substance use and injury.</p> <p>“Adolescents’ perception of parental warmth had the most consistent favourable associations with adult outcomes across domains,” the researchers found.<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;"> </span></p> <p><img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=240457&amp;title=Teenagers+who+have+positive+relationships+with+their+parents+tend+to+have+better+outcomes+as+adults" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></div> <div id="contributors"> <p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/teenagers-positive-relationships-with-parents-benefits/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Petra Stock. </em></p> <p><em><br />Images: Getty</em></p> </div>

Relationships

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Harry Styles helps a fan "come out" to her parents on stage

<p>Harry Styles has been in Australia for a little over a week, and has made headlines for partaking in a range of Aussie traditions. </p> <p>But while in Melbourne, the British pop icon brought his own wholesome Love on Tour tradition Down Under by helping a fan "come out" to her parents. </p> <p>On stage at Melbourne's Marvel Stadium, the 29-year-old paused the musical proceedings after spotting a fan with a sign.</p> <p>In a viral video shared to social media, Harry paused his concert mid-show to chat with the fan, who was named Fauve.</p> <p>"Fauve's sign says, 'Help me come out. My mum's next to me, and dad is level 2, section 41,'" he read.</p> <p>"I feel like I could help," Harry added modestly, adding, "I feel like she might know" in response to Fauve's mother Lisa who stood beside her. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpDLglrjAn8/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpDLglrjAn8/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Harry Styles Updates ♡︎ (@harry_update)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"I mean, I've just said it and it's on the screen."</p> <p>Harry, who has helped fans come out in recent years and to announce other major life events, asked, "Would you like us to go through the Love On Tour coming-out process?"</p> <p>"This is the first time we're taking this Down Under, so prepare yourselves," he said. "Everything's gonna be upside down!"</p> <p>Harry then prompted his band to supply him with some "coming-out music," which turned out to be a funky disco-inflected groove.</p> <p>"Are you happy with the music? This suits the occasion?" he said as he checked in with Fauve.</p> <p>"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go, let's go, let's go!" he shouted out to the rhythm of the music while raising his hands to pump up the audience.</p> <p>"Fauve is out!" he said at the conclusion of the short number. "It's done!" he added as he pumped his fist triumphantly, while the audience erupted in cheers. </p> <p>"You rise to the heavens of freedom, Fauve!" he shouted after the display. "Enjoy yourself!"</p> <p>Harry Styles has long been helping fans come out during his Love on Tour shows around the world, as he previously previously went viral for the heart-warming moments during shows from 2021 and 2022.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

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