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Why do I need to get up during the night to wee? Is this normal?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christian-moro-121754">Christian Moro</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-phelps-1187658">Charlotte Phelps</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p>It can be normal to wake up once or even twice during the night to wee, especially as we get older.</p> <p>One in three adults over 30 makes <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30085529">at least two</a> trips to the bathroom every night.</p> <p>Waking up from sleep to urinate on a regular basis is called <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987/">nocturia</a>. It’s one of the most commonly reported <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32249998/">bothersome urinary symptoms</a> (others include urgency and poor stream).</p> <p>So what causes nocturia, and how can it affect wellbeing?</p> <h2>A range of causes</h2> <p>Nocturia can be caused by a variety of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">medical conditions</a>, such as heart or kidney problems, poorly controlled diabetes, bladder infections, an <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-44916-8">overactive bladder</a>, or gastrointestinal issues. Other causes include pregnancy, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/nau.24839">medications</a> and consumption of alcohol or caffeine before bed.</p> <p>While nocturia causes disrupted sleep, the reverse is true as well. Having broken sleep, or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4055528/">insomnia</a>, can also cause nocturia.</p> <p>When we sleep, an antidiuretic hormone is released that slows down the rate at which our <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-urine-sterile-do-urine-therapies-work-experts-debunk-common-pee-myths-191862">kidneys produce urine</a>. If we lie awake at night, less of this hormone <a href="https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/ajprenal.00025.2023">is released</a>, meaning we continue to produce normal rates of urine. This can accelerate the rate at which we fill our bladder and need to get up during the night.</p> <p>Stress, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4153377/">anxiety</a> and watching television <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987">late into the night</a> are common causes of insomnia.</p> <h2>Effects of nocturia on daily functioning</h2> <p>The recommended amount of sleep for adults is between <a href="https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/sleep/how-much-sleep">seven and nine hours</a> per night. The more times you have to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the more this impacts <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3602727/#:%7E:text=Nocturia%20is%2C%20however%2C%20an%20important,(QoL)%20and%20general%20health.">sleep quantity and quality</a>.</p> <p>Decreased sleep can result in increased <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-019-1251-5">tiredness</a> during the day, poor concentration, forgetfulness, changes in mood and impaired <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28425062/">work performance</a>.</p> <p>If you’re missing out on quality sleep due to nighttime trips to the bathroom, this can affect your quality of life.</p> <p>In more severe cases, nocturia has been compared to having a similar impact on <a href="https://www.racgp.org.au/getattachment/b43c05ba-e29e-47c3-b816-ec47ceeafe97/Nocturia-a-guide-to-assessment-and-management.aspx">quality of life</a> as diabetes, high blood pressure, chest pain, and some forms of arthritis. Also, frequent disruptions to quality and quantity of sleep can have longer-term health impacts.</p> <p>Nocturia not only upsets sleep, but also increases the risk of <a href="https://www.auajournals.org/doi/10.1097/JU.0000000000000459">falls</a> from moving around in the dark to go to the bathroom.</p> <p>Further, it can affect sleep partners or others in the household who may be disturbed when you get out of bed.</p> <h2>Can you have a ‘small bladder’?</h2> <p>It’s a common misconception that your trips to the bathroom are correlated with the size of your bladder. It’s also unlikely your bladder is <a href="https://youtu.be/blVmyrBPves">smaller</a> relative to your other organs.</p> <p>If you find you are having to wee more than your friends, this could be due to body size. A smaller person drinking the same amount of fluids as someone larger will simply need to go the bathroom more often.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/blVmyrBPves?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Can you have a small bladder?</span></figcaption></figure> <p>If you find you are going to the bathroom quite a lot during the day and evening (<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5903463/">more than eight times</a> in 24 hours), this could be a symptom of an overactive bladder. This often presents as frequent and sudden urges to urinate.</p> <p>If you are concerned about any lower urinary tract symptoms, it’s worth having a chat with your family GP.</p> <p>There are some medications that can assist in the management of nocturia, and your doctor will also be able to help identify any underlying causes of needing to go to the toilet during the night.</p> <h2>A happy and healthy bladder</h2> <p>Here are some tips to maintain a happy and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3206217/">healthy</a> bladder, and reduce the risk you’ll be up at night:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make your <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-position-should-i-sleep-in-and-is-there-a-right-way-to-sleep-189873">sleep environment comfortable</a>, with a suitable mattress and sheets to suit the temperature</p> </li> <li> <p>get to bed early, and limit <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK518987/">screens</a>, or activites before bed</p> </li> <li> <p>limit foods and drinks that irritate the bladder, such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9811496/">coffee or alcohol</a>, especially before bedtime</p> </li> <li> <p>sit in a <a href="https://theconversation.com/does-it-matter-if-you-sit-or-stand-to-pee-and-what-about-peeing-in-the-shower-206869">relaxed position</a> when urinating, and allow time for the bladder to completely empty</p> </li> <li> <p>practice <a href="https://www.continence.org.au/about-continence/continence-health/pelvic-floor">pelvic floor muscle exercises</a></p> </li> <li> <p>drink an adequate amount of fluids during the day, and avoid becoming <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">dehydrated</a></p> </li> <li> <p>maintain a healthy lifestyle, eat <a href="https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/advan.00052.2023">nutritious foods</a> and do not do anything harmful to the body such as smoking or using illicit drugs</p> </li> <li> <p>review your medications, as the time you take some <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/nocturia-going-to-the-toilet-at-night_0.pdf">pharmaceuticals</a> may affect urine production or sleep</p> </li> <li> <p>if you have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28675633/">swollen legs</a>, raise them a few hours before bedtime to let the <a href="https://www.racgp.org.au/afp/2012/june/nocturia-a-guide-to-assessment-and-management">fluid drain</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224160/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> </li> </ul> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christian-moro-121754">Christian Moro</a>, Associate Professor of Science & Medicine, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charlotte-phelps-1187658">Charlotte Phelps</a>, Senior Teaching Fellow, Medical Program, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-i-need-to-get-up-during-the-night-to-wee-is-this-normal-224160">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

It’s normal for your mind to wander. Here’s how to maximise the benefits

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dr-anchal-garg-1491247">Dr Anchal Garg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bruce-watt-1486350">Bruce Watt</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p>Have you ever found yourself thinking about loved ones during a boring meeting? Or going over the plot of a movie you recently watched during a drive to the supermarket?</p> <p>This is the cognitive phenomenon known as “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.actpsy.2011.01.002">mind wandering</a>”. Research suggests it can account for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0044423">up to 50%</a> of our waking cognition (our mental processes when awake) in both <a href="https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1192439">western and non-western societies</a>.</p> <p>So what can help make this time productive and beneficial?</p> <h2>Mind wandering is not daydreaming</h2> <p>Mind wandering is often used interchangeably with daydreaming. They are both considered types of inattention but are not the same thing.</p> <p>Mind wandering is related to a primary task, such as reading a book, listening to a lecture, or attending a meeting. The mind <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00560/full">withdraws</a> from that task and focuses on internally generated, unrelated thoughts.</p> <p>On the other hand, daydreaming does not involve a primary, active task. For example, daydreaming would be thinking about an ex-partner while travelling on a bus and gazing out the window. Or lying in bed and thinking about what it might be like to go on a holiday overseas.</p> <p>If you were driving the bus or making the bed and your thoughts diverted from the primary task, this would be classed as mind wandering.</p> <h2>The benefits of mind wandering</h2> <p>Mind wandering is believed to play an important role in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612446024">generating new ideas</a>, conclusions or insights (also known as “aha! moments”). This is because it can give your mind a break and free it up to think more creatively.</p> <p>This type of creativity does not always have to be related to creative pursuits (such as writing a song or making an artwork). It could include a new way to approach a university or school assignment or a project at work.<br />Another benefit of mind wandering is relief from boredom, providing the opportunity to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031569">mentally retreat</a> from a monotonous task.</p> <p>For example, someone who does not enjoy washing dishes could think about their upcoming weekend plans while doing the chore. In this instance, mind wandering assists in “passing the time” during an uninteresting task.</p> <p>Mind wandering also tends to be future-oriented. This can provide an opportunity to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.concog.2011.08.007">reflect upon and plan</a> future goals, big or small. For example, what steps do I need to take to get a job after graduation? Or, what am I going to make for dinner tomorrow?</p> <h2>What are the risks?</h2> <p>Mind wandering is not always beneficial, however. It can mean you miss out on crucial information. For example, there could be disruptions in learning if a student engages in mind wandering during a lesson that covers exam details. Or an important building block for learning.</p> <p>Some tasks also require a lot of concentration in order to be safe. If you’re thinking about a recent argument with a partner while driving, you run the risk of having an accident.</p> <p>That being said, it can be more difficult for some people to control their mind wandering. For example, mind wandering is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2020.112901">more prevalent</a> in people with ADHD.</p> <h2>What can you do to maximise the benefits?</h2> <p>There are several things you can do to maximise the benefits of mind wandering.</p> <ul> <li><strong>be aware</strong>: awareness of mind wandering allows you to take note of and make use of any productive thoughts. Alternatively, if it is not a good time to mind wander it can help bring your attention back to the task at hand</li> </ul> <ul> <li> <p><strong>context matters</strong>: try to keep mind wandering to non-demanding tasks rather than demanding tasks. Otherwise, mind wandering <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00441">could be unproductive</a> or unsafe. For example, try think about that big presentation during a car wash rather than when driving to and from the car wash</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>content matters</strong>: if possible, try to keep the content positive. Research <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2013.00900">has found</a>, keeping your thoughts more positive, specific and concrete (and less about “you”), is associated with better wellbeing. For example, thinking about tasks to meet upcoming work deadlines could be more productive than ruminating about how you felt stressed or failed to meet past deadlines.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/219490/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> </li> </ul> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dr-anchal-garg-1491247"><em>Dr Anchal Garg</em></a><em>, Psychology researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bruce-watt-1486350">Bruce Watt</a>, Associate Professor in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty </em><em>Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-normal-for-your-mind-to-wander-heres-how-to-maximise-the-benefits-219490">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

Is it normal to forget words while speaking? And when can it spell a problem?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greig-de-zubicaray-1468234">Greig de Zubicaray</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>We’ve all experienced that moment mid-sentence when we just can’t find the word we want to use, even though we’re certain we know it.</p> <p>Why does this universal problem among speakers happen?</p> <p>And when can word-finding difficulties indicate something serious?</p> <p>Everyone will experience an occasional word-finding difficulty, but if they happen very often with a broad range of words, names and numbers, this could be a sign of a neurological disorder.</p> <h2>The steps involved in speaking</h2> <p>Producing spoken words involves several <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780190672027.013.19">stages of processing</a>.</p> <p>These include:</p> <ol> <li> <p>identifying the intended meaning</p> </li> <li> <p>selecting the right word from the “mental lexicon” (a mental dictionary of the speaker’s vocabulary)</p> </li> <li> <p>retrieving its sound pattern (called its “form”)</p> </li> <li> <p>executing the movements of the speech organs for articulating it.</p> </li> </ol> <p>Word-finding difficulties can potentially arise at each of these stages of processing.</p> <p>When a healthy speaker can’t retrieve a word from their lexicon despite the feeling of knowing it, this is called a “tip-of-the-tongue” phenomenon by language scientists.</p> <p>Often, the frustrated speaker will try to give a bit of information about their intended word’s meaning, “you know, that thing you hit a nail with”, or its spelling, “it starts with an <em>H</em>!”.</p> <p>Tip-of-the-tongue states are relatively common and are a type of speech error that occurs primarily during retrieval of the sound pattern of a word (step three above).</p> <h2>What can affect word finding?</h2> <p>Word-finding difficulties occur at all ages but they do happen more often as we get older. In older adults, they can cause frustration and anxiety about the possibility of developing dementia. But they’re not always a cause for concern.</p> <p>One way researchers investigate word-finding difficulties is to ask people to keep a diary to record how often and in what context they occur. <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01190/full">Diary studies</a> have shown that some word types, such as names of people and places, concrete nouns (things, such as “dog” or “building”) and abstract nouns (concepts, such as “beauty” or “truth”), are more likely to result in tip-of-the-tongue states compared with verbs and adjectives.</p> <p>Less frequently used words are also more likely to result in tip-of-the-tongue states. It’s thought this is because they have weaker connections between their meanings and their sound patterns than more frequently used words.</p> <p>Laboratory studies have also shown tip-of-the-tongue states are more likely to occur under <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13825585.2019.1641177">socially stressful</a> conditions when speakers are told they are being evaluated, regardless of their age. Many people report having experienced tip-of-the-tongue problems during job interviews.</p> <h2>When could it spell more serious issues?</h2> <p>More frequent failures with a broader range of words, names and numbers are likely to indicate more serious issues.</p> <p>When this happens, language scientists use the terms “anomia” or “<a href="https://www.aphasia.com/aphasia-library/aphasia-types/anomic-aphasia/">anomic aphasia</a>” to describe the condition, which can be associated with brain damage due to stroke, tumours, head injury or dementia such as Alzheimer’s disease.</p> <p>Recently, the actor Bruce Willis’s family <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2023/02/16/health/frontotemporal-dementia-definition-symptoms-wellness/index.html">revealed</a> he has been diagnosed with a degenerative disorder known as primary progressive aphasia, for which one of the earliest symptoms is word-finding difficulties rather than memory loss.</p> <p>Primary progressive aphasia is typically associated with frontotemporal or Alzheimer’s dementias, although it can be associated with other <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3637977/">pathologies</a>.</p> <p>Anomic aphasia can arise due to problems occurring at different stages of speech production. An assessment by a clinical neuropsychologist or speech pathologist can help clarify which processing stage is affected and how serious the problem might be.</p> <p>For example, if a person is unable to name a picture of a common object such as a hammer, a clinical neuropsychologist or speech pathologist will ask them to describe what the object is used for (the individual might then say “it’s something you hit things with” or “it’s a tool”).</p> <p>If they can’t, they will be asked to gesture or mime how it’s used. They might also be provided with a cue or prompt, such as the first letter (<em>h</em>) or syllable (<em>ham</em>).</p> <p>Most people with anomic aphasia benefit greatly from being prompted, indicating they are mostly experiencing problems with later stages of retrieving word forms and motor aspects of speech.</p> <p>But if they’re unable to describe or mime the object’s use, and cueing does not help, this is likely to indicate an actual loss of word knowledge or meaning. This is typically a sign of a more serious issue such as primary progressive aphasia.</p> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroimaging">Imaging studies</a> in healthy adults and people with anomic aphasia have shown different areas of the brain are responsible for their word-finding difficulties.</p> <p>In <a href="https://direct.mit.edu/jocn/article-abstract/35/1/111/113588/Neural-Correlates-of-Naturally-Occurring-Speech">healthy adults</a>, occasional failures to name a picture of a common object are linked with changes in activity in brain regions that control motor aspects of speech, suggesting a spontaneous problem with articulation rather than a loss of word knowledge.</p> <p>In anomia due to primary progressive aphasia, brain regions that process word meanings show a loss of nerve cells and connections or <em><a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0148707">atrophy</a></em>.</p> <p>Although anomic aphasia is common after strokes to the left hemisphere of the brain, the associated word-finding difficulties do not appear to be distinguishable by <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010945215003299">specific areas</a>.</p> <p>There are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02687030244000563">treatments</a> available for anomic aphasia. These will often involve speech pathologists training the individual on naming tasks using different kinds of cues or prompts to help retrieve words. The cues can be various meaningful features of objects and ideas, or sound features of words, or a combination of both. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S002199241730014X">Smart tablet</a> and phone apps also show promise when used to complement therapy with home-based practice.</p> <p>The type of cue used for treatment is determined by the nature of the person’s impairment. Successful treatment is associated with changes in activity in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0093934X14000054">brain regions</a> known to support speech production. Unfortunately, there is no effective treatment for primary progressive aphasia, although <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13607863.2019.1617246">some studies</a> have suggested speech therapy can produce temporary benefits.</p> <p>If you’re concerned about your word-finding difficulties or those of a loved one, you can consult your GP for a referral to a clinical neuropsychologist or a speech pathologist. <img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/greig-de-zubicaray-1468234">Greig de Zubicaray</a>, Professor of Neuropsychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty </em><em>Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-normal-to-forget-words-while-speaking-and-when-can-it-spell-a-problem-212852">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

Lucy Letby: it is not being ‘beige’, ‘average’ or ‘normal’ that makes her crimes so hard to understand

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lizzie-seal-183829">Lizzie Seal</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a></em></p> <p>In seeking to understand the crimes of Lucy Letby, the neonatal nurse who murdered seven babies in her care, a fixation about how “ordinary” she appears to be has emerged. At times like this, we seek answers, which perhaps explains the vague sense that understanding this apparent inconsistency can teach us a lesson for the future. But that is a circle that cannot be squared.</p> <p>Letby was sentenced to whole life imprisonment for the murders of seven babies carried out while she worked at Countess of Chester Hospital, in north-west England. She was found guilty of the attempted murder of six other babies and is suspected of having harmed more. She is variously described as a “serial killer” and a “serial killer nurse”. Letby meets the <a href="https://www.aic.gov.au/publications/tandi/tandi346">generally accepted criminological definition</a> of a serial killer – that is, someone who commits three or more murders on separate occasions which are not for revenge or material gain.</p> <p>Everyday understandings of serial killing are consistent with the criminological definition and, arguably, the “serial killer” is a compelling example of the overlap – and perhaps cross-pollination – between the academic and wider understandings of crime.</p> <p>Both academic and wider understandings of serial killing are shaped by portrayals and archetypes from fiction, film, television and true crime podcasts and documentaries. The ubiquity of portrayals of serial killers mean we reach for certain stock explanations of their actions.</p> <p>Quoting police officers involved in the investigation and former colleagues of Letby, news articles describe her as <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/who-is-lucy-letby-the-average-nurse-who-became-britains-most-prolific-child-killer-12943602">“average”</a> and <a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/23003681/beige-lucy-letby-killer-nurse-death-toll/">“beige”</a>. Shock and confusion abound about the crimes of an “ordinary” young woman who did not stand out in terms of character or ability.</p> <p>The puzzle these descriptions create is how a “serial killer nurse” could possibly be someone so unremarkable. Letby lived in a three-bedroom semi-detached house, with a <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/aug/18/lucy-letby-the-beige-and-average-nurse-who-turned-into-a-baby-killer">“happy Prosecco season”</a> sign adorning the wall of her kitchen and a collection of soft toys in her bedroom. Although <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/nurse-lucy-letby-motive-why-would-she-kill-babies-b2397008.html">motives were suggested</a> by the prosecution during her trial, they feel unsatisfactory.</p> <h2>Looking for answers in the wrong place</h2> <p>Our inability to parse “satisfying” explanations for Letby’s actions relates to her departure from accepted cultural scripts of serial killing. A prominent serial killer script is that of perceived deviance and transgression, whereby something pathological about the killer accounts for their personality and actions.</p> <p>Frequently, this pathology is along the lines of mental illness, as in one of the classic templates for modern cultural scripts of serial killing, Norman Bates in the film Psycho. Another recurrent portrayal is the serial killer who is motivated by sexual perversion. Lucy Letby’s apparent normality means she cannot be read through this script.</p> <p>The fact that <a href="https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-3-030-87488-9">she is a woman</a> while serial killers are overwhelmingly male adds to this (although serial killing by women, including nurses, is <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12423909/Other-cases-missed-Detective-nailed-Beverley-Allitt-says-like-Lucy-Letby-read-book-chillingly-similar-Angel-Death-case-30-years-believes-killer-nurses-have.html">not without precedent</a>).</p> <p><a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9780230369061_6">Popular culture has taught us</a> that a serial killer is a certain type of person. They are often even glamorised in films and TV shows. In his <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/36061">1996 memoir My Dark Places</a>, the novelist James Ellroy comments on the figure of the serial killer in 1990s popular culture: “serial killers were very unprosaic. They were hip, slick and cool”.</p> <p>Ellroy’s comment gets to the heart of why Lucy Letby feels like a dissonant serial killer. She is prosaic. But this is a red herring. We may have absorbed tropes about serial killers but that does not mean we understand them or their motives in any more depth than we understand why Letby killed.</p> <p>There is nothing truly conclusive about saying someone killed for power or sexual gratification, just as there is nothing conclusive about any of the explanations offered for Letby’s actions. Our belief that we understand reasons for serial killing – and thereby deviations from those reasons such as appearing “ordinary” – is based on familiar but incomplete narratives.</p> <p>Our cultural scripts about serial killers do not offer good explanations for their crimes. In reality, it is incredibly unusual for someone like Lucy Letby to be a serial killer because it is incredibly unusual for anyone to be a serial killer.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/211960/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lizzie-seal-183829">Lizzie Seal</a>, Professor of Criminology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lucy-letby-it-is-not-being-beige-average-or-normal-that-makes-her-crimes-so-hard-to-understand-211960">original article</a>.</em></p>

Legal

Anxious dogs have different brains to normal dogs, brain scan study reveals

<p>Dog ownership is a lot of furry companionship, tail wags and chasing balls, and ample unconditional love. However, some dog owners are also managing canine pals struggling with mental illness.</p> <p>A newly published study <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0282087">in PLOS ONE</a> has examined the brain scans of anxious and non-anxious dogs, and correlated them with behaviour. The research team at Ghent University, Belgium, found that our anxious dog friends not only have measurable differences in their brains linked to their anxiety, but these differences are similar to those found in humans with anxiety disorders as well.</p> <h2>Anxious friends</h2> <p>Anxiety disorders in humans are varied and can be categorised into several main types. Overall, they represent high levels of fear, emotional sensitivity and negative expectations. These disorders can be difficult to live with and sometimes difficult to treat, in part due to how varied and complex anxiety is.</p> <p>Researching anxiety in animals can help us to understand what drives it, and to improve treatment for both humans and animals. The new study sought to investigate possible pathways in the brain that are associated with anxiety in dogs. Understanding this could both improve treatment for anxiety in veterinary medicine, and reveal similarities with what we know of human anxiety.</p> <p>Dogs with and without anxiety were recruited for functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans of their brains. Dogs have been involved in awake fMRI studies before, but for this one, with dogs that might get easily stressed out, the dogs were under general anaesthesia.</p> <p>Owners of the dogs also filled out surveys on their pets’ behaviour. The researchers performed data analysis and modelling of brain function, focusing on regions of the brain likely to show differences related to anxiety. Based on previous research on animal and human anxiety, the team dubbed these brain regions the “anxiety circuit”.</p> <p>They then analysed whether there were differences between the brain function of anxious and non-anxious dogs, and if those differences actually related to anxious behaviours.</p> <h2>Different brains</h2> <p>The researchers found there were indeed significant differences between anxious and non-anxious dogs. The main differences were in the communication pathways and connection strength within the “anxiety circuit”. These differences were linked with higher scores for particular behaviours in the surveys as well.</p> <p>For example, anxious dogs had amygdalas (an area of the brain associated with the processing of fear) that were particularly efficient, suggesting a lot of experience with fear. (This is similar to findings from human studies.) Indeed, in the behaviour surveys, owners of anxious dogs noted increased fear of unfamiliar people and dogs.</p> <p>The researchers also found less efficient connections in anxious dogs between two regions of the brain important for learning and information processing. This may help explain why the owners of the anxious dogs in the study reported lower trainability for their dog.</p> <h2>A difficult time</h2> <p>Brains are exquisitely complex biological computers, and our understanding of them is far from comprehensive. As such, this study should be interpreted cautiously.</p> <p>The sample size was not large or varied enough to represent the entire dog population, and the way the dogs were raised, housed, and cared for could have had an effect. Furthermore, they were not awake during the scans, and that also may have influenced some of the results.</p> <p>However, the study does show strong evidence for measurable differences in the way anxious dog brains are wired, compared to non-anxious dogs. This research can’t tell us whether changes in the brain caused the anxiety or the other way around, but anxiety in dogs is certainly real.</p> <p>It’s in the interests of our anxious best friends that we appreciate they may be affected by a brain that processes everything around them differently to “normal” dogs. This may make it difficult for them to learn to change their behaviour, and they may be excessively fearful or easily aroused.</p> <p>Thankfully, these symptoms can be treated with medication. Research like this could lead to more finessed use of medication in anxious dogs, so they can live happier and better adjusted lives.</p> <p>If you have a dog you think might be anxious, you should speak to a veterinarian with special training in behaviour.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/anxious-dogs-have-different-brains-to-normal-dogs-brain-scan-study-reveals-201775" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

How much memory loss is normal with ageing?

<p>You’ve driven home from work along the same route for the past five years. But lately, you’ve been stopping at the same intersection, struggling to remember if you need to turn left or right. </p> <p>Many occasions in everyday life can make us question whether lapses in memory are normal, a sign of cognitive decline, or even the beginning of dementia.</p> <p>Our first instinct might be that it’s due to deterioration in our brains. And it’s true that like the rest of our body, our <a href="https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/aging/2019/how-the-brain-changes-with-age-083019#:%7E:text=Neuronal%20Changes,that%20wraps%20around%20axons%20deteriorates">brain cells shrink</a> when we get older. They also maintain fewer connections with other neurons and store less of the chemicals needed for sending messages to other neurons.</p> <p>But not all memory lapses are due to age-related changes to our neurons. In many cases, the influencing factors are more trivial, including being tired, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/acn/article/17/1/57/2143?login=true">anxious</a>, or <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-not-just-doorways-that-make-us-forget-what-we-came-for-in-the-next-room-156030">distracted</a>.</p> <h2>Some forgetfulness is normal</h2> <p>Our memory system is constructed in a way that some degree of forgetting is normal. This is not a flaw, but a feature. Maintaining memories is not only a drain on our metabolism, but too much unnecessary information can slow down or hamper retrieving specific memories. </p> <p>Unfortunately, it’s not always up to us to decide what’s important and should be remembered. Our brain <a href="https://knowablemagazine.org/article/mind/2019/why-we-forget">does that</a> for us. In general, our brain prefers social information (the latest gossip), but easily discards abstract information (such as numbers).</p> <p>Memory loss becomes a problem when it starts to <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/2020-06/WAYM-booklet.pdf">affect</a> your typical day-to-day living. It’s not a huge issue if you can’t remember to turn right or left. However, forgetting why you are behind the wheel, where you are meant to be going or even how to drive are not normal. These are signs something may not be right and should be investigated further. </p> <h2>Then there’s mild cognitive impairment</h2> <p>The road between ageing-associated memory loss and the more concerning memory loss is coined as mild cognitive impairment. The degree of impairment can remain stable, improve, or worsen.</p> <p>However, it indicates an <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5915285/#R15">increased risk</a> (around three to five times) of future neurogenerative disease such as dementia. Every year, around <a href="https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/what-is-dementia/related_conditions/mild-cognitive-impairment">10-15%</a> of people with mild cognitive impairment will develop dementia.</p> <p>For people with mild cognitive impairment, the ability to undertake usual activities becomes gradually and more significantly impacted over time. Besides memory loss, it can be accompanied by other problems with language, thinking and decision-making skills. </p> <p>A mild cognitive impairment diagnosis can be a double-edged sword. It affirms older people’s concerns their memory loss is abnormal. It also raises concerns it will develop into dementia. But it can also lead to the exploration of potential treatment and planning for the future. </p> <h2>Losing your way can be an early marker</h2> <p>Impairment in navigation is thought to be an <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5582021/#:%7E:text=Patients%20with%20dementias%20such%20as,Cognitive%20Impairment%20syndrome%20(MCI)">early marker</a> for Alzheimer’s disease, the most common type of dementia. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) studies have shown the areas that crucially underpin memories for our spatial environment are the <a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.052587399">first to be affected</a> by this degenerative disease. </p> <p>So, a noticeable increase in occasions of getting lost could be a warning sign of more pronounced and widespread difficulties in the future.</p> <p>Given the predictive link between declines in the ability to find your way and dementia, there is an incentive to develop and use standardised tests to detect deficits as early as possible. </p> <p>Currently, the scientific literature <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/159073644.pdf">describes</a> varying approaches, ranging from pen-and-paper tests and virtual reality, to real-life navigation, but there is no gold standard yet. </p> <p>A specific challenge is to develop a test that is accurate, cost-effective and easy to administer during a busy clinic day. </p> <p>We have developed a five-minute test that used scene memory as a proxy for way-finding ability. We ask participants to remember pictures of houses and subsequently test their ability to differentiate between the pictures they have learned and a set of new images of houses. </p> <p>We found the test <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/acp.3876">works well</a> in predicting natural variations in way-finding ability in healthy young people, but are currently still evaluating the effectiveness of the test in older people. </p> <h2>Get help when your memory lapses are consistent</h2> <p>While everyday memory lapses are not something we should unduly worry about, it is prudent to seek professional health care advice, such as from your GP, when those impairments become more marked and consistent. </p> <p>While there is currently still no cure for Alzheimer’s, early detection will <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-there-really-a-benefit-from-getting-an-early-dementia-diagnosis-59554">allow</a> you to plan for the future and for more targeted management of the disorder.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-much-memory-loss-is-normal-with-ageing-193217" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Mind

Readers Respond: What was normal when you were a kid, but you never see anymore?

<p>We all love reminiscing about our past, and many of us have similar experiences growing up.</p> <p>Most of our readers shared the same sentiment: their love for being able to play outside without a care.</p> <p>Take a trip down memory lane through looking back on your shared childhood experiences, that you believe kids nowadays don’t do.</p> <p>Claude Courtier - Children playing from dawn to dusk in the street unsupervised.</p> <p>Sheila Eddy- Children having fun outside all day, came home to eat and out again.</p> <p>Alan Smith- Picking mushrooms from paddocks.</p> <p>Sheree Tayler - Going to the local deli with your 50c and choosing the lollies you want to fill up a paper lolly bag. The lollies would all be displayed in a glass cabinet and they were either 1c, 2c or 5c. Then you’d ride off happily on your Indi 500 bike with your friends to your local park to eat them.</p> <p>Eric Pasquill- Playing outside, making mud pies, sailing leaves and sticks down the gutters after rain</p> <p>Dora Chisari- Playing outside with kids that lived close by.</p> <p>Jill Smith- Kids out on their own exploring the world and making their own fun!! No parents and no money needed!! And we learnt self reliance!</p> <p>Kristine Di Cerchio - Playing for hours outside with kids until so exhausted, sweat mixed with dust dripped off our cheeks. Feeling earth and grass under bare feet as we ran through the summer of our lives.</p> <p>Joy Boots- Running around barefoot, a homemade swing tied to tree branches in the back yard, the toilet being way up at the back fence (not in the house), cooling down in summer with the hose tied to the clothes line.</p> <p>If you have any other childhood experiences that you think we missed, share them <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtyNZ/posts/pfbid0ctXEt75bZEtU9zVLvkwqM1xoMqMbygYZ4BvAtyG4DYeyB1A15fGvwcUiqhznTGzJl" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Retirement Life

“How is that normal?”: Andy Murray speaks out on Texas school shooting

<p dir="ltr">Two-time Wimbledon champion Andy Murray has said he “can’t understand” how nothing has changed in the US following the mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas, with one survivor’s account being similar to his own experience 26 years ago.</p> <p dir="ltr">The shooting, which saw an 18-year-old gunman <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/victims-of-the-texas-primary-school-shooting-identified" target="_blank" rel="noopener">storm an elementary school and kill 19 children and two teachers</a>, came just 10 days after 10 people died in a shooting in Buffalo, New York and has reignited the national debate over US gun control.</p> <p dir="ltr">The British tennis star, who survived the 1996 Dunblane massacre in Scotland, said the recent shooting made him “angry”.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-c9af191b-7fff-159f-2c35-4403afa12e00">“It’s incredibly upsetting and it makes you angry. I think there’s been over 200 mass shootings in America this year and nothing changes. I can’t understand that,” Murray, per the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-05-31/murray-angry-over-texas-shooting/101115202" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC</a>.</span></p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/06/andy-murray-child.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Andy Murray, who grew up in the Scottish town of Dunblane, was at school when a gunman entered and killed 17 people in 1996. Image: @andymurray (Instagram)</em></p> <p dir="ltr">“My feeling is that surely at some stage you do something different. You can’t keep approaching the problem by buying more guns and having more guns in the country. I don’t see how that solves it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But I could be wrong. Let’s maybe try something different and see if you get a different outcome.” </p> <p dir="ltr">Murray grew up in Dunblane and was hiding down the hall when a gunman killed 16 pupils and a teacher before killing himself at Dunblane Primary School, in an incident which is the deadliest mass shooting in modern British history. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I heard something on the radio the other day and it was a child from that school,” he told the BBC.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I experienced a similar thing when I was at Dunblane, a teacher coming out and waving all of the children under tables and telling them to go and hide.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And it was a kid [in Uvalde] telling exactly the same story about how she survived it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“They were saying that they go through these drills, as young children… How? How is that normal that children should be having to go through drills, in case someone comes into a school with a gun?”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-fec07e37-7fff-3e13-2aa9-b59b7bf3da31"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: @andymurray (Instagram)</em></p>

Caring

La Niña just raised sea levels in the western Pacific by up to 20cm. This height will be normal by 2050

<p><a href="https://asiapacificreport.nz/2021/12/07/tidal-damage-cuts-swathe-across-wide-area-of-pacific/">Severe coastal flooding</a> inundated islands and atolls across the western equatorial Pacific last week, with widespread damage to buildings and food crops in the Federated States of Micronesia, Marshall Islands, Papua New Guinea and Solomon Islands.</p> <p>On one level, very high tides are normal at this time of year in the western Pacific, and are known as “spring tides”. But why is the damage so bad this time? The primary reason is these nations are enduring a flooding trifecta: a combination of spring tides, climate change and La Niña.</p> <p><a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/climate/enso/">La Niña</a> is a natural climate phenomenon over the Pacific Ocean known for bringing wet weather, including in eastern Australia. A less-known impact is that La Niña also raises sea levels in the western tropical Pacific.</p> <p>In a terrifying glimpse of things to come, this current La Niña is raising sea levels by 15-20 centimetres in some western Pacific regions – the same sea level rise projected to occur globally by 2050, regardless of how much we cut global emissions between now and then. So let’s look at this phenomena in more detail, and why we can expect more flooding over the summer.</p> <h2>These spring tides aren’t unusual</h2> <p>Low-lying islands in the Pacific are considered the frontline of climate change, where sea level rise poses an existential threat that could force millions of people to <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-seas-are-coming-for-us-in-kiribati-will-australia-rehome-us-172137">find new homes</a> in the coming decades.</p> <p>Last week’s tidal floods show what will be the new normal by 2050. In the Marshall Islands, for example, waves were <a href="https://asiapacificreport.nz/2021/12/07/tidal-damage-cuts-swathe-across-wide-area-of-pacific/">washing over boulder</a> barriers, causing flooding on roads half a metre deep.</p> <p>This flooding has coincided with the recent spring tides. But while there is year to year variability in the magnitude of these tides that vary from location to location, this year’s spring tides aren’t actually unusually higher than those seen in previous years.</p> <p>For instance, <a href="https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1029/2020EF001607">tidal analysis</a> shows annual maximum <a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/oceanography/projects/spslcmp/data/index.shtml">sea levels at stations</a> in Lombrom (Manus, Papua New Guinea) and Dekehtik (Pohnpei, Federated States of Micronesia) are roughly 1-3cm higher than last year. Meanwhile, those at Betio (Tarawa, Kiribati) and Uliga (Majuro, Marshall Islands) are roughly 3-6cm lower.</p> <p>This means the combined impacts of sea level rise from climate change and the ongoing La Niña event are largely responsible for this year’s increased flooding.</p> <h2>A double whammy</h2> <p>The latest <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg1/#SPM">assessment report</a> from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change finds global average sea levels rose by about 20cm between 1901 and 2018.</p> <p>This sea level rise would, of course, lead to more coastal inundation in low-lying regions during spring tides, like those in the western tropical Pacific. However, sea level rise increases at a relatively small rate – around 3 millimetres per year. So while this can create large differences over decades and longer, year to year differences are small.</p> <p>This means while global mean sea level rise has likely contributed to last week’s floods, there is relatively small differences between this year and the previous few years.</p> <p>This is where La Niña makes a crucial difference. We know La Nina events impact the climate of nations across the Pacific, bringing an <a href="https://theconversation.com/do-la-ninas-rains-mean-boom-or-bust-for-australian-farmers-172511">increased chance of high rainfall</a> and tropical cyclone landfall in some locations.</p> <p>But the easterly trade winds, which blow across the Pacific Ocean from east to west, are stronger in La Niña years. This leads to a larger build up of warm water in the western Pacific.</p> <p>Warm water is generally thicker than cool water (due to thermal expansion), meaning the high heat in the western equatorial Pacific and Indonesian Seas during La Niña events is often accompanied by higher sea levels.</p> <p>This year is certainly no different, as can be seen in sea surface height anomaly maps <a href="https://sealevel.jpl.nasa.gov/data/along-track-nrt-data/?page=0&per_page=3&order=publish_date+desc&search=&fancybox=true&condition_1=2021%3Ayear&condition_2=11%3Amonth&category=204">here</a> and <a href="https://aviso.altimetry.fr/fileadmin/images/data/Products/indic/enso/Msla_MoyMens_PacTrop_latest.png">here</a>.</p> <p>From these maps, along with <a href="https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1029/1999GL010485">past studies</a>, it’s clear Pacific islands west of the date line (180⁰E) and between Fiji and the Marshall Islands (15⁰N-15⁰S) are those most at risk of high sea levels during La Niña events.</p> <h2>What could the future hold?</h2> <p>We can expect to see more coastal flooding for these western Pacific islands and atolls over the coming summer months. This is because the La Niña-induced sea level rise is normally maintained throughout this period, along with more periods with high spring tides.</p> <p>Interestingly, the high sea levels related to La Niña events in the northern hemisphere tend to peak in November-December, while they do not peak in the <a href="https://journals.ametsoc.org/view/journals/clim/27/3/jcli-d-13-00276.1.xml">southern hemisphere</a> until the following February-March.</p> <p>This means many western Pacific locations on both sides of the equator will experience further coastal inundation in the short term. But the severity of these impacts is likely to increase in the southern hemisphere (such as the Solomon islands, Tuvalu and Samoa) and decrease in the northern hemisphere (such as the Marshall Islands and the Federated States of Micronesia).</p> <p>Looking forward towards 2050, a further <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg1/#SPM">15-25cm of global average sea level rise is expected</a>. La Niña events typically cause sea levels in these regions to rise 10-15cm above average, though some regions can bring sea levels up to 20cm.</p> <p>Given the projected sea level rise in 2050 is similar to the La Niña-induced rise in the western Pacific, this current event provides an important insight into what will become “normal” inundation during spring tides.</p> <p>Unfortunately, climate projections show this level of sea level rise by 2050 is all but locked in, largely due to the greenhouse gas emissions we’ve already released.</p> <p>Beyond 2050, we know sea levels will continue to rise for the next several centuries, and this <em>will</em> largely depend on our future emissions. To give low-lying island nations a fighting chance at surviving the coming floods, all nations (including Australia) must drastically and urgently cut emissions.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/173504/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shayne-mcgregor-123851">Shayne McGregor</a>, Associate Professor, and Associate Investigator for the ARC Centre of Excellence for Climate Extremes, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a></em></span></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/la-nina-just-raised-sea-levels-in-the-western-pacific-by-up-to-20cm-this-height-will-be-normal-by-2050-173504">original article</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

International Travel

Postnatal psychosis is rare, but symptoms can be brushed aside as ‘normal’ for a new mum

<p>The period after birth of a child is supposed to be a time of great happiness for women. However, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7491613/pdf/WPS-19-313.pdf">a significant number</a> of new mothers will experience a mental illness at this time.</p> <p>One is <a href="https://www.thewomens.org.au/health-information/pregnancy-and-birth/mental-health-pregnancy/post-partum-psychosis">postnatal psychosis</a> (also known as postpartum or <a href="https://www.cope.org.au/health-professionals/health-professionals-3/perinatal-mental-health-disorders/puerperal-psychosis/">puerperal psychosis</a>). It’s not related to postnatal depression.</p> <p>Postnatal psychosis affects <a href="https://www.cochranelibrary.com/cdsr/doi/10.1002/14651858.CD009991.pub2/full">one to two in every 1,000 new mothers</a>, or about 600 women each year in Australia.</p> <p>But our <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S026661382100245X">interviews with women</a> who have been diagnosed with this rare but serious condition show their symptoms were often dismissed as a normal part of adjusting to motherhood.</p> <h2>What is postnatal psychosis?</h2> <p>Postnatal psychosis affects women across all cultures and geographic areas.</p> <p>The condition can put a woman at risk of self-harm or suicide and, on rare occasions, of harming others including her new baby or other children.</p> <p>We don’t know what causes it. But contributing factors may include sleep deprivation, and rapid hormone changes associated with pregnancy and childbirth.</p> <p>The risk of postnatal psychosis increases if a woman has a history of <a href="https://www.sane.org/information-stories/facts-and-guides/bipolar-disorder#what-is-bipolar-disorder">bipolar disorder</a> or has had postnatal psychosis before.</p> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JUFRZ6PgfQE?wmode=transparent&start=81" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> </p> <h2>What are the symptoms?</h2> <p><a href="https://www.cope.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Postpartum-Psychosis_Health-Prof-Fact-Sheet.pdf">Symptoms</a> can begin in the first few days after giving birth but may not appear until up to 12 weeks afterwards.</p> <p><strong>Some women have manic symptoms</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>manic symptoms include feeling they do not need to sleep, and are powerful and strong</p> </li> <li> <p>women may have unusual experiences, such as seeing or hearing things others cannot. They may believe things that are not true</p> </li> <li> <p>they can also make unrealistic and impulsive plans, can be disorganised or forgetful, and talk very quickly</p> </li> <li> <p>their moods may change rapidly or they may seem excessively happy.</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong>Others have depressive symptoms</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>depressive symptoms include a loss of energy and an inability to sleep or eat</p> </li> <li> <p>women may have thoughts or auditory hallucinations that they are a bad mother and they may say they wish to die. Hallucinations or delusions (false beliefs) point to postnatal psychosis rather than to postnatal depression</p> </li> <li> <p>women may find it difficult to complete activities, such as caring for themselves or their baby, or attending to other tasks in the home</p> </li> <li> <p>they may believe they are helpless, hopeless and worthless, especially as a mother</p> </li> <li> <p>they can become isolated and no longer enjoy activities.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Women say it’s traumatic</h2> <p>Women say postnatal psychosis is traumatic, especially if they do not get help when they first report symptoms. But it can be challenging to diagnose because of the stigma surrounding mental illness around the time of giving birth.</p> <p>Women say they are <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%2Fs00737-015-0548-6.pdf">reluctant to disclose</a> unusual symptoms as they feel ashamed they are finding motherhood difficult and worry they may lose custody of their baby.</p> <p>When we <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S026661382100245X">interviewed ten women</a>, who had experienced an episode of postnatal psychosis in the past ten years, we discovered another barrier to diagnosis.</p> <p>Women said they knew they had unusual symptoms, such as not being able to sleep or changes in the way they thought or behaved, but they found it difficult to get help. Often, they were told these symptoms were a normal part of adjusting to motherhood.</p> <p>Their postnatal psychosis was not identified until their only option was admission to an acute mental health unit and separation from their baby.</p> <p>So we need more education about the condition for health-care workers. By identifying the condition earlier, this gives women more treatment options.</p> <h2>There are treatments</h2> <p>Once diagnosed, the condition can be treated with antipsychotic and mood stabilising medication, prescribed by a psychiatrist or other treating doctor.</p> <p>This is <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00737-009-0117-y">very effective</a> but medication is often not started until the symptoms have become very severe and the woman requires hospitalisation in an acute mental health unit, without her baby. This separation can compromise the developing bond between them.</p> <p>So early diagnosis can potentially reduce the time a woman may spend in an acute mental health unit.</p> <h2>Admission to a mother-baby unit</h2> <p>Best practice is to admit women and their babies to a <a href="https://www.cope.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/COPE-Perinatal-MH-Guideline_Final-2018.pdf">mother-baby unit</a>, which is usually linked to a hospital. This allows women to continue to care for their babies with the support of child and family health-care professionals.</p> <p>However, publicly funded units are only available in Victoria, South Australia, Western Australia and Queensland. In New South Wales, two public mother-baby units <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/new-unit-provides-mother-and-baby-mental-health-support-to-western-sydney-20210909-p58q9v.html">are being built</a>. In NSW, the only existing one is a <a href="https://www.sjog.org.au/our-locations/st-john-of-god-burwood-hospital/our-services/mental-health-and-therapy/mother-and-baby-unit">private facility</a>, which many families cannot afford.</p> <h2>Helping others</h2> <p>The women we interviewed said they developed support networks with each other. One woman told us:</p> <blockquote> <p>You feel like, okay, that was such a hard experience, is there a way that we could make that a little less hard for the women who are going to go through it next time?</p> </blockquote> <p>Women wanted to tell their stories so others would better understand postnatal psychosis and could find it easier to get help.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, contact the following organisations for more information or support: <a href="https://www.panda.org.au/info-support/postnatal-psychosis">Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia</a> (PANDA), 1300 726 306; <a href="https://www.cope.org.au/">Centre of Perinatal Excellence</a>; <a href="https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/pregnancy-and-new-parents/maternal-mental-health-and-wellbeing/bipolar-disorder">Beyondblue</a>, 1300 22 4636; Lifeline, 13 11 14. You can also contact your GP or go to your nearest hospital emergency department.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/170278/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/diana-jefferies-183951">Diana Jefferies</a>, Senior lecturer, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a></em></span></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/postnatal-psychosis-is-rare-but-symptoms-can-be-brushed-aside-as-normal-for-a-new-mum-170278">original article</a>.</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Family & Pets

The surprisingly normal way royals plan their get-togethers

<p>The royal family may enjoy the luxurious lifestyle that comes with being born into nobility – but when it comes to sharing news and planning get-togethers, they use the same method as any regular family.</p> <p>In an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="/itv.com/goodmorningbritain/news/mike-tindall-says-whatsapp-group-with-harry-and-meghan-helps-royals-plan-playdates" target="_blank"><em>Good Morning Britain</em></a>, the Queen’s grandson-in-law Mike Tindall revealed that the royal family uses a WhatsApp group to organise their gatherings.</p> <p>“It’s just what you do to try and set up get-togethers, or if we are going to something that is the same,” said Tindall.</p> <p>“If you are going to go, ‘Are you going to take the kids?’ Quite a lot of people have family WhatsApp groups. I don’t think it’s a new revelation.”</p> <p>Tindall, who is married to the Queen’s granddaughter Zara Tindall, confirmed that he found out about the birth of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s first child Archie Mountbatten-Windsor through the WhatsApp group chat.</p> <p>When asked if he has had the chance to see the baby, Tindall said: “No, we still haven’t managed to get together yet. Everyone seems to think that we’ve all been round but it’s just not that way is it?</p> <p>“Hopefully, we will get to see him soon, but it just doesn’t work that way. But at least he’s happy and healthy and they’re happy.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em><a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/royal-family-joint-whatsapp-group-13710808">Mirror Online</a> </em>last year, the former rugby union player said he was in WhatsApp groups with some of the royal family members due to his wife’s cousin relation to Prince William and Prince Harry.</p> <p>“Me, my brother, and then a few of Zara’s side like her brother Pete and the cousins are on WhatsApp groups,” he said.</p> <p>“I wouldn’t say we’re cutting edge, but it’s just easier for some reason on WhatsApp.”</p>

News

Memory and attention difficulties are often part of a normal life

<p>From young adults to people in their 60s, everyday functioning in today’s world can place high demands on our attention and memory skills.</p> <p>Memory lapses such as forgetting an appointment, losing our keys, forgetting a distant relative’s name or not remembering why you opened the fridge can leave us believing our thinking skills are impaired.</p> <p>But you might be too hard on yourself. Tiredness, stress and worry, and feeling down or depressed are all common reasons adults experience attention and memory difficulties.</p> <p><strong>Attention and memory systems</strong></p> <p>Attention and memory skills are closely connected. Whether we can learn and remember something partly depends on our ability to concentrate on the information at the time.</p> <p>It also depends on our ability to focus our attention on retrieving that information when it’s being recalled at a later time.</p> <p>This attention system, which is so important for successful memory function, has a limited capacity – we can only make sense of, and learn, a limited amount of information in any given moment.</p> <p>Being able to learn, and later successfully remember something, also depends on our memory system, which stores the information.</p> <p><strong>Changes in attention and memory skills</strong></p> <p>In people who are ageing normally, both attention and memory systems <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-45562-001">gradually decline</a>. This decline starts in our early 20s and continues slowly until our 60s, when it tends to speed up.</p> <p>During normal ageing, the number of connections between brain cells slowly reduce and some areas of the brain progressively work less efficiently. These changes particularly occur in the areas of the brain that are important for memory and attention systems.</p> <p>This normal ageing decline is different from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, which cause progressive changes in thinking skills, emotions and behaviour that are not typical of the normal ageing process. Dementia comes from a group of diseases that affect brain tissue and cause abnormal changes in the way the brain works.</p> <p>If you’re concerned your memory difficulties may be a symptom of dementia, talk to your GP, who can refer you to a specialist, if needed, to determine whether these changes are due to normal ageing, dementia or some other cause.</p> <p>If you experience persistent changes in your thinking skills, which are clearly greater than your friends and acquaintances who are of a similar age and in similar life circumstances, see your GP.</p> <p><strong>Normal attention and memory difficulties</strong></p> <p>Broadly, there are two main reasons healthy adults experience difficulties with their memory and/or attention: highly demanding lives and normal age-related changes.</p> <p>A person can be consistently using their attention and memory skills at high levels without sufficient mental relaxation time and/or sleep to keep their brain working at its best.</p> <p>Young adults who are working, studying and then consistently using attention-demanding devices as “relaxation” techniques, such as computer games and social media interaction, <a href="https://willsull.net/resources/KaplanS1995.pdf">fall into this group</a>.</p> <p>Adults <a href="https://eds.b.ebscohost.com/abstract?site=eds&scope=site&jrnl=21528675&AN=83525068&h=746XcJnf0qjmaQYDoqYWEsXgl8RLBY8oP631iGbnBfEIOVCJNS12LFen5etfOkNg5UAJ6nKqJipZs%2b4OKOVZLw%3d%3d&crl=c&resultLocal=ErrCrlNoResults&resultNs=Ehost&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d21528675%26AN%3d83525068">juggling the demands</a> of work or study, family and social requirements also fall into this group.</p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-how-much-sleep-do-we-need-29759">Most adults need</a> around seven to nine hours of sleep per night for their brain to work at its best, with older adults needing seven to eight hours.</p> <p>The second common reason is a combination of ageing-related brain changes and highly demanding work requirements.</p> <p>For people in jobs that place a high load on thinking skills, the thinking changes that occur with normal ageing <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Memory-complaint-as-a-predictor-of-cognitive-a-of-Blazer-Hays/41fd23f208c261065296a54b826602ff2bf8ee09">can become noticeable</a> at some point around 55 to 70 years of age. It’s around this time age-related changes in the ability to carry out complex thinking tasks become large enough to be noticeable. People who are retired or don’t have the same mentally demanding jobs generally experience the same changes, but may not notice them as much.</p> <p>This is also the age many people become more aware of the potential risk of dementia. Consequently, these normal changes can result in high levels of stress and concern, which can result in a person experiencing even greater difficulties day to day.</p> <p><strong>Emotional distress can take its toll</strong></p> <p>Feeling down and sad can affect memory and concentration. When a person is feeling worried and/or down regularly, they may become consumed by their thoughts.</p> <p>It’s important to recognise how you’re feeling, to make changes or seek help if needed. But thinking a lot about how you’re feeling can also take a person’s attention away from the task at hand and make it difficult for them to concentrate on what is happening, or remember it clearly in the future.</p> <p>So feeling worried or down can make it seem there is something wrong with their memory and concentration.</p> <p><strong>Boosting your attention and memory skills</strong></p> <p>There are a number of things that can be done to help your day-to-day memory and attention skills.</p> <p>First, it’s important to properly rest your mind on a regular basis. This involves routinely doing something you enjoy that doesn’t demand high levels of attention or memory, such as exercising, reading for pleasure, walking the dog, listening to music, relaxed socialising with friends, and so on.</p> <p>Playing computer games, or having a lengthy and focused session on social media, requires high levels of attention and other thinking skills, so these are not good mental relaxation techniques when you are already mentally tired.</p> <p> </p> <p>It’s also important to get enough sleep, so you are not consistently tired – undertaking exercise on a regular basis often helps with getting good quality sleep, as does keeping alcohol consumption <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/managing-your-alcohol-intake">within recommended limits</a>.</p> <p>Looking after your mental health is also important. Noticing how you are feeling and getting support (social and/or professional) during longer periods of high stress or lowered mood will help ensure these things are not affecting your memory or concentration.</p> <p>Finally, be fair to yourself if you notice difficulties with your thinking. Are the changes you notice any different to those of other people your own age and in similar circumstances, or are you comparing yourself to someone younger or with less demands in their life?</p> <p>If you have ongoing concerns about your attention and memory, speak with your GP, who can refer you to a specialist, such as a clinical neuropsychologist, if needed.</p> <p><em>Written by <span>Jacqueline Anderson, Senior Lecturer in Clinical Neuropsychology, University of Melbourne</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/memory-and-attention-difficulties-are-often-part-of-a-normal-life-119539"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Mind

Is my forgetfulness normal?

<p>We all forget things from time to time. For example, how many of us have walked into a room only to forget why we went there in the first place? Or forgotten the name of a new acquaintance only moments after they’ve introduced themselves? These are common experiences, but if these memory lapses turn persistent or progressive it could be a sign of something else.</p> <p><em>“A person with forgetfulness may lose their car keys, but a person with dementia may lose their car keys and then forget what the car keys are actually used for,”</em> explains Alzheimer’s Australia CEO, Carol Bennett. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia and affects 80 per cent of people with dementia. While memory loss is the most common symptom of dementia, other symptoms may include confusion, personality change, apathy and withdrawal or an inability to perform everyday tasks.</p> <p>According to Bennett, dementia will present itself in many different ways and symptoms may vary between individuals. <em>“For some people it won’t be memory loss, rather they may experience visual-spatial differences. For example, someone with dementia may put their glass down under the table or above the table and drop the glass. They may misjudge stairs, because they lose their capacity to judge physical space,”</em> she said.</p> <p><strong>Early signs of alzheimer’s disease</strong><br />Alzheimer’s Australia advise some warning signs include:</p> <p>1. Remembering events, words, names or objects: A person with dementia may progressively forget common words or names and may even forget part or all of an event. In healthy people, there may be the occasional lapse but words are usually on the tip of the tongue and memories are vague, rather than completely forgotten.</p> <p>2. Understanding stories: Dementia causes a decline in the ability to follow story lines in TV shows, films, books or any other storytelling form of entertainment.</p> <p>3. Performing everyday tasks: In someone with dementia, everyday tasks like dressing and cooking can become quite arduous, whereas a healthy person will not have any difficulty unless physically impaired.</p> <p>4. Following directions: Healthy people should be able to follow written and verbal directions without any difficulty. Someone with dementia, on the other hand, is increasingly unable to follow these cues.</p> <p><a href="https://fightdementia.org.au/">Read the full checklist on the Alzheimer’s Australia website.</a></p> <p><strong>Younger onset dementia</strong><br />While dementia is more common in people over 65, sadly there are more than 24,000 Australians in their 30s, 40s, 50s and early 60s affected by the disease.</p> <p><em>“Dementia in the under 65s is often misdiagnosed. There’s a lack of information, even among health professionals,”</em> adds Bennett. One theory is that people with younger onset dementia tend to present with problem solving and behavioural issues, and as a result, these individuals can be mistakenly diagnosed with depression.</p> <p>There are different types of dementia and symptoms are variable. However, if you or a loved one is worried, see a GP or ask for a referral to a neurologist who can complete a series of medical and psychological tests to determine the cause. Your doctor may talk to you about your medical history, perform cognitive, psychiatric and/or neuropsychological testing, or request blood and urine tests to screen for illnesses which could be responsible for dementia-like symptoms.</p> <p>Bennett explains, when it comes to younger onset dementia, early intervention is key.<em> “Early diagnosis makes a huge difference to the outcome. Unfortunately it is a very progressive condition, especially in younger onset where it tends to progressive more quickly. The sooner you can provide support the better. Early intervention keeps people out of hospital and residential aged care,”</em> she adds.</p> <p><strong>Preventing dementia: help at hand</strong><br /><em>“There isn’t a one size fits all, it’s about keeping your mind active,”</em> advises Bennett. In fact, experts say that the changes in the brain that lead to dementia begin up to 15-20 years before symptoms first appear. Lifestyle changes, such as keeping physically active, eating the right foods and challenging the mind, all reduce the risk.</p> <p><a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/lifestyle/health-wellbeing/six-ways-to-keep-your-mind-sharp.aspx">Click here</a> for six fun and simple ways to reduce your risk for dementia and keep your mind sharper for longer. </p> <p>Alzheimer’s Australia has also developed a Brainy App, which can help determine your ‘brain health’ and assist you with completing brainy activities using a score system. Download the free app <a href="http://yourbrainmatters.org.au/a-little-help/brainyapp">here</a>.</p> <p>Ready for something new? Take the Your Brain Matters 21 challenge! Always dreamt of speaking Spanish, learning the violin or finally mastering a soufflé? Keeping your mind active by doing new things is a fun way to establish brain healthy habits visit: <a href="http://yourbrainmatters.org.au/challenge">Your brain matters</a>.</p> <p>You can also call the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500 for support and advice regarding health, financial and counselling services in your area.</p> <p><em>Written by Mahsa Fratantoni. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/health/wellbeing/is-my-forgetfulness-normal.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a></em></p>

Retirement Life

13 normal fights even happy couples have

<p>Every couple fights and the ones who don't fess up to it are lying. Here’s how to stop getting stuck in the same old arguments.</p> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>1. "We never have sex anymore!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>It's a myth that well-matched couples have equally well-matched libidos, says Kimberly Hershenson, LCSW and couples therapist.</p> <p>And even if you were in sync the day you got married, kids, stress, illness, and other life events have a way of changing things.</p> <p>This means it's inevitable you'll have disagreements about sex.</p> <p>"There are other ways to feel connected if sex isn't happening as frequently as someone would like," she says.</p> <p>"Physical intimacy is obviously important in a marriage but many of my clients don’t realise the importance of having an emotional connection to their partner first."</p> <p>Once you are working as a team, you can troubleshoot bedroom strategies together.</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>2. "Why did you like all your ex’s pictures on Facebook?!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Modern technology has lead to some uniquely modern relationship fights, especially when it comes to social media.</p> <p>"These days we see a lot of 'cyber-straying' which means sneakily looking up and even reconnecting with old flames, despite being with someone else," says Wendy L. Patrick, JD, PhD, behavioral expert and author of <em>Red Flags</em>.</p> <p>Then, when the partner inevitably finds out, they feel hurt and betrayed, she adds. The fix to this fight? Squelch that curiosity.</p> <p>"Curiosity compromises trust and secrets are relationship saboteurs," she says. "Ex-relationships are in the past for a reason."</p> <p>If you do want to maintain a connection with an ex, make sure your partner is in on all communications. </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>3. "You love your phone more than you love me!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Smartphones and tablets are awesome but they are also a huge distraction, ready to interrupt your precious time with your partner at any second, Patrick says.</p> <p>Think checking a text or answering a quick email is not a big deal? Imagine if it was an actual person grabbing your attention every time a notification goes off.</p> <p>They'd quickly be the most annoying person in the room, right? So it's understandable how phones can become a major source of fights, she says.</p> <p>The solution is simple: Put away your phones and decide on tech rules you can both follow.</p> <p>"The impersonal nature of this communication often builds barriers, not bridges," she explains.</p> <p>"Remember, your partner is your lifeline. Uplifting, encouraging conversations infused with real emotion will revitalise your relationship in a way that no amount of emoticons could ever do."<a rel="noopener" href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/thought-provoking/10-mobile-phone-etiquette-rules-you-should-be-following-but-arent" target="_blank" title="" data-original-title=""></a></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>4. "Why am I the only one who does dishes around here?!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Couples have been fighting over chores, well, since chores were invented. This is because it's not really about who washes dishes or vacuums more, it's really about feeling like things are fair, says Fran Walfish, PhD., a relationship psychotherapist, author, and consultant on <em>The Doctors</em> TV show.</p> <p>"What you need to realise is there is no such thing as a 50-50 split of responsibility in a great marriage. There will be times each of you will have to give 100 percent," she explains.</p> <p>"Great couples learn to sacrifice willingly for one another without expecting something in return." Easier said than done, right?</p> <p>"Cultivate this mentality by finding little ways to serve your spouse every day," she adds.<a rel="noopener" href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/how-put-honeymoon-level-excitement-back-your-marriage" target="_blank" title="" data-original-title=""></a></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>5. "Stop humming, it makes me want to rip my ears off!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Call it the lesson of your freshman college roommate: Live with someone long enough and you will find something about them that drives you absolutely insane.</p> <p>In long-term relationships, those little annoyances can fester into full-on warfare, especially if you use these quirks to intentionally trigger each other.</p> <p>"This is totally normal, even with the people we love the most," Walfish says.</p> <p>"Instead of creating a mental list of all the things your partner does that annoy you, try and put them in perspective and make a list of all the things they do well. Then extend grace for minor annoyances, knowing that your partner likely does the same for you."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>6. "Aren't you using the note system I created?"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Just like your partner has little habits that drive you nuts, they also likely have aspects of their personality that you wish were different.</p> <p>In the beginning of your relationship, it's easy to brush them off as cute quirks with the expectation you can change your partner later… and this is how you start a never-ending fight, says Rhonda Milrad, LCSW, a licensed therapist and founder of Relationup.</p> <p>"You complain and even overtly show your disdain, hoping that this will get your partner to change, however it only makes the problem worse," she explains.</p> <p>"Instead, learn how to accept and even find ways to appreciate the idiosyncrasies in your beloved."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>7. “Why don’t you just divorce me if you’re this unhappy?”</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Fighting over someone’s motives for staying in the relationship and even dropping the “D” word is surprisingly common, even in happy marriages, says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, licensed clinical professional counsellor and co-founder of The Marriage Restoration Project.</p> <p>The problem with this argument isn't that you're fighting, it's that you automatically assume that fighting means divorce.</p> <p>"The truth is that all couples argue," he says. "Instead of wondering if you made the wrong choice, remember all the reasons you thought this person was the right choice - you will find that you’ve picked someone who will uniquely challenge you but will also help you achieve ultimate personal growth and healing." </p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>8. "I feel like you don’t even know me anymore!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Just because two people are in a stable relationship doesn't mean they stop growing and changing - but it can be all too easy for couples to miss these milestones when they’re focused on kids, work, and all the other minutiae of daily life.</p> <p>This can lead to some very frustrating (but very normal) blowups, says Lesli Doares, couples' consultant and coach, author and host of <em>Happily Ever After is Just the Beginning</em>.</p> <p>"When we first meet and get married, there is a lot of conversation and sharing about who we each are but as the years go by, we think we know each other and continue to act as if neither has changed," she says.</p> <p>"The way to fix this fight is to keep asking each other questions and don't assume you know the answers."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>9. "I picked up the kids five days this week, you owe me!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Humans have an innate desire for equality and fairness so if you feel like you're consistently getting the short end of the stick, it can lead to major resentment and spark a serious argument.</p> <p>But scorecards are for golf, not relationships, so stop tallying up everything you do and comparing it to your spouse, Doares says.</p> <p>"If one of you isn't happy with the way things are going, the relationship cannot be happy and the way to stop this argument is to make decisions together," she says.</p> <p>"Learning how to reach an agreement that you both can support and implement is critical."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>10. "You take me for granted!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>Is there any worse feeling than feeling like the (unpaid) maid, chauffeur, mechanic, nanny, or chef? Being taken for granted is a major - and understandable - source of fights between couples, says Allen W. Barton, PhD, a research scientist at the University of Georgia’s Centre for Family Research and founder of LiveYourVows.</p> <p>Thankfully the solution is as simple as these two little words: Thank you.</p> <p>"It’s such a simple thing that it often gets overlooked but expressing appreciation to your partner for things they have done for the relationship and family is key to stopping contention," he says.</p> <p>"Make it a practice to thank your spouse every day for something."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>11. "Are you hiding something?"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>The short answer to this question is usually "yes".</p> <p>It’s not because we necessarily want to lie to our partners or that we’re inherently dishonest but rather that we think telling little white lies, or withholding the truth, will prevent a huge fight.</p> <p>Unfortunately, people can often tell when you're being less than truthful and the fight soon becomes about that.</p> <p>"Based on my research we’ve found that many people tell white lies to their partner and while the majority of people say that white lies are not okay they still find excuses to say them," says Jason B. Whiting, Ph.D, LMFT, professor of marriage and family therapy at Texas Tech University and author of <em>Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships</em>. </p> <p>The antidote? Honesty.</p> <p>"Telling the truth, even if it's hard in the moment, will strengthen trust and make you closer in the long run," he says.</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>12. The silent treatment</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>The silent treatment - rare is the couple that hasn't had this fight-pretending-not-to-be-a-fight. But even though you're not yelling at each other, or even saying a harsh word, this fight can be just as damaging.</p> <p>This is because the silent treatment allows resentments to build and fester, says Erika Boissiere, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of The Relationship Institute of San Francisco. </p> <p>"Silence is a wedge that will drive more distance between you the longer it goes on," she says.</p> <p>"If you need something from your partner, you must request it. Your partner cannot mind-read your unspoken expectations. It is your job to ask for what you need in a kind, compassionate way."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="views-field views-field-field-slides"> <div class="field-content"> <div class="field-collection-view clearfix view-mode-full field-collection-view-final"> <div class="entity entity-field-collection-item field-collection-item-field-slides clearfix"> <div class="content"> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-title field-type-text field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"><strong>13. "Stop throwing the past in my face!"</strong></div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-name-field-slide-content field-type-text-long field-label-hidden"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item even"> <p>It’s normal to look for patterns in behaviour, it can help you learn what to expect from others, yet constantly bringing up past mistakes is a sore spot for many couples.</p> <p>How do you decide when to forgive and forget and when it's important to remember?</p> <p>"You can't expect that when one person does something reckless, threatening, or destructive that their partner will just get over it," says Wendy Brown, clinical member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists and author of Why Love Succeeds.</p> <p>"Their worries, trauma, and concerns must be addressed before you can move on."</p> <p>This doesn't mean that this fight has to be an endless round robin of accusation, hurt, apology, and resentment though.</p> <p>"You need to look for ways to openly discuss the past in a calm way—a therapist can be an impartial third party to help you do this," she says.</p> <p><em>Written by <span>Charlotte Hilton Andersen</span>. This article first appeared in </em><span><em><a href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/drama/13-normal-fights-even-happy-couples-have">Reader’s Digest</a></em></span><em>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, </em><span><em><a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN87V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a></em></span></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

Relationships

Taking selfies makes your nose look bigger than it is

<p>It is the inescapable 21st-century vexation of the vain. Smartphones allow a person to take selfies as fast as the index finger can click, yet from a dismayingly close distance that may leave the subject dissatisfied.</p> <p>Don't fret, a team of researchers from Rutgers and Stanford says in a new analysis published recently. The culprit is distortion.</p> <p>Using a mathematical model, the group found that in a selfie taken from 30cm away, the nose appears 30 per cent wider than in a photo taken from 150cm.</p> <p>The researchers undertook the analysis because plastic-surgery patients - who spent more than US$16 billion on cosmetic procedures in 2016, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons - often cited their appearance in selfies as justification for getting a nose job.</p> <p>Boris Paskhover, an assistant professor at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School's department of otolaryngology, wanted to set the record straight.</p> <p>"Young adults are constantly taking selfies to post to social media and think those images are representative of how they really look, which can have an impact on their emotional state," Paskhover said in a Rutgers news release.</p> <p>"I want them to realise that when they take a selfie, they are in essence looking into a portable funhouse mirror."</p> <p>To calculate the degree of nasal distortion in up-close photos, Paskhover worked with Ohad Fried, a research fellow in Stanford's computer science department.</p> <p>In addition to the 30 percent increase in the apparent width of the nose in selfies, the team also found that the close vantage point made the tip of the nose appear 7 per cent wider.</p> <p>Their findings were published in JAMA Facial Plastic Surgery.</p> <p>In this social-media-obsessed world, Paskhover, who specialises in facial plastic and reconstructive surgery, is not alone in seeing patients who are unhappy with their selfies.</p> <p>In a 2017 poll, 55 per cent of surgeons reported they had seen patients who sought plastic surgery in order to look better in selfies, the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeons said.</p> <p>Yet nose jobs, formally called rhinoplasty, appear to be on the wane, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Surgeons performed 218,924 of the procedures in 2017, down 2 per cent from the year before, and down a whopping 44 per cent since 2000.</p> <p>Maybe selfie-snappers are coming to grips with reality.</p> <p>Do you agree with this work?</p> <p><em>Written by Tom Avril. Republished with permission by <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p>

Technology

Why sensing the dead is normal (and even helpful)

<p><em><strong>Simon McCarthy-Jones is an Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology and Neuropsychology at Trinity College Dublin. His research focuses on the experience of hearing voices that others cannot.</strong></em></p> <p>Céline Dion recently <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/fresh-fears-celine-dion-singer-10794528" target="_blank">revealed</a></strong></span> that she still senses the presence of her husband, even though he died from cancer in January 2016. What’s more, the Canadian singer said she still talks to René Angélil, who she was married to for 22 years, and can still hear him at times.</p> <p>While her remarks prompted ridicule in some quarters, seeing, hearing or sensing the presence of a deceased loved one is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, it is a perfectly normal and often helpful way of dealing with grief.</p> <p>Sensing a deceased spouse is remarkably common. Between <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26254619" target="_blank">30 and 60 per cent</a></strong></span> of elderly widowed people experience so-called bereavement hallucinations. In his book, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/oliver-sacks/hallucinations" target="_blank">Hallucinations</a></strong></em></span>, the late neurologist Oliver Sacks gives the following example. Marion, who had lost her husband, Paul, came home from work one day:</p> <p><em>Usually at that hour Paul would have been at his electronic chessboard … His table was out of sight … but he greeted me in his familiar way “Hello! You’re back! Hi!” His voice was clear and strong and true … the speech was live and real.</em></p> <p>This is not rare. A study of elderly <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf" target="_blank">widows and widowers</a></strong></span> in Wales found that 13 per cent had heard their dead loved one’s voice, 14 per cent had seen them and 3 per cent had felt their touch. By far the greatest number, 39 per cent, said they continued to feel the presence of loved ones.</p> <p>Such experiences can encourage people to talk to their lost loved one, which the study found 12 per cent did. This talking can be accompanied by a feeling that the dead spouse is <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.routledge.com/Continuing-Bonds-New-Understandings-of-Grief/Klass-Silverman-Nickman/p/book/9781560323396" target="_blank">listening</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>Intriguingly, it has been found that those who talk to their dead spouse are more likely to be <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/9JPJ-1FM1-37NX-2DEC" target="_blank">coping with widowhood</a></strong></span> than those who don’t.</p> <p>It doesn’t have to be a partner or spouse who dies. For example, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.leudar.com/pdfs/voices/Hayes&Leudar2013.pdf" target="_blank">a study</a></strong></span> of bereavement hallucinations in people of a range of ages described the experiences of Samuel, who had lost his grandmother. One day, when trying to work out where the problem was with a waste disposal unit, he heard her say, “It’s at the back. It’s at the back.” And so it was.</p> <p><strong>Grateful for the dead</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf">Multiple</a> <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1532-5415.1985.tb04619.x/abstract">studies</a></strong></span> have found that more than two thirds of the widowed find their hallucinations pleasant or helpful. The experiences can provide <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/713686002" target="_blank">spiritual and emotional strength and comfort</a></strong></span>, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.routledge.com/Continuing-Bonds-New-Understandings-of-Grief/Klass-Silverman-Nickman/p/book/9781560323396" target="_blank">reduce feelings of isolation</a></strong></span> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.leudar.com/pdfs/voices/Hayes&Leudar2013.pdf" target="_blank">give people encouragement during difficult tasks</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>Take the experience of Aggie, which she recounted to researchers as part of a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.leudar.com/pdfs/voices/Hayes&Leudar2013.pdf" target="_blank">study of bereavement hallucinations</a></strong></span>. Her boyfriend knew he was dying but hid it, ending their relationship to try to spare her pain. After he died, Aggie heard his voice apologising for pushing her away at the end. She had partly blamed herself for his death and felt guilty. Hearing his voice helped Aggie to forgive herself.</p> <p>Such experiences will <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8424323" target="_blank">typically fade over time</a></strong></span>.</p> <p><strong>The dark side</strong></p> <p>Of course, bereavement hallucinations can be problematic. When they first happen, some people will get <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18044417" target="_blank">very upset</a></strong></span> when they realise that the deceased person has not actually returned. The hallucination can also be traumatising. A woman who lost her daughter to a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12457021" target="_blank">heroin overdose</a></strong></span> reported hearing her voice crying out, “Mamma, Mamma! … It’s so cold.” In the widowed, they can <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf" target="_blank">prevent new relationships developing</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>Also, death does not become everyone. After her mother died, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.leudar.com/pdfs/voices/Hayes&Leudar2013.pdf" target="_blank">Julie started hearing her voice</a></strong></span>. It called her a slag, slut and whore. It told her she wasn’t fit to live and encouraged her to overdose on pills. Julie’s relationship with her mother had been problematic, but she’d never said such things things while alive.</p> <p>Thankfully, negative experiences are rare. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf" target="_blank">One study</a></strong></span> reported that only 6 per cent of people found bereavement hallucinations unpleasant. These experiences hardly ever require <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26254619" target="_blank">psychiatric treatment</a></strong></span>. Indeed, if people find the first hallucination pleasant, they typically want it to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8424323" target="_blank">happen again</a></strong></span>.</p> <p><strong>How they happen</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-predictive-mind-9780199686735?lang=en&cc=us" target="_blank">Many scientists</a></strong></span> think that normal perception starts with the brain creating a prediction of what is “out there”. This prediction is then revised using feedback from the world, and forms the basis of what we perceive. Perception is edited hallucination.</p> <p>So <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053810014001639" target="_blank">one way to understand hallucinations</a></strong></span> is as uncorrected predictions (<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.jkp.com/uk/can-t-you-hear-them-34840.html" target="_blank">my recent book</a></strong></span> explains this in more detail). If someone has been a consistent, valued presence in your life, the brain is so used to predicting them that it may continue to do so, overruling the world.</p> <p>A new day has come, but the brain still bets on yesterday.</p> <p><strong>Don’t judge</strong></p> <p>Why don’t we hear more about these experiences? The obvious answer is that hallucinations are <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0020764014535757" target="_blank">often stigmatised</a></strong></span>. In countries such as the UK and US, people are typically taught that they are a sign of madness.</p> <p>So it is perhaps unsurprising that <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf" target="_blank">a study in the UK</a></strong></span> found that only 28 per cent of people with bereavement hallucinations had told someone else about them. Not one had told their doctor. Although most could give no reason for why they had not told anyone, those who did most often cited a fear of ridicule.</p> <p>This problem is not apparent in all countries. For example, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/abs/10.1176/ajp.125.12.1660" target="_blank">a study in Japan</a></strong></span> found that 90 per cent of widows felt the presence of their dead spouse, yet none worried about their sanity. Ancestor worship may help Japanese people mourn.</p> <p>As a result of all this, people should think twice about judging these experiences harshly. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1799198/pdf/brmedj02669-0049.pdf" target="_blank">One study of widowed people</a></strong></span> found bereavement hallucinations only occurred in those whose marriages had been happy; we should perhaps simply be marvelling at the power of love.</p> <p><em>Written by Simon McCarthy-Jones. Republished with permission of <a href="http://theconversation.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>.<img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.edu.au/content/81048/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/> </em></p>

Caring

Alzheimer’s is not a normal part of ageing

<p>For many people, it can seem almost inevitable that at least one person they know – if not themselves – will be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. However, as scientist Samuel Cohen explains, we need to stop thinking of this tragic illness as a natural part of ageing. “Alzheimer's is a disease,” he says, “and we can cure it.”</p> <p>In this fascinating TED Talk, Cohen, whose research focuses on Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative disorders, shares an exciting breakthrough giving hope to the over 40 million people around the world currently suffering the disease.</p> <p>Tell us in the comments below, do you believe a cure for Alzheimer’s could be discovered in your lifetime?</p> <p><em>Video: <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/samuel_cohen_alzheimer_s_is_not_normal_aging_and_we_can_cure_it" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">TED</span></strong></a>. </em></p>

Caring

“Normal” mum hilariously recreates celebrity mum photos

<p>Ever seen those photos of celebrity mums who seem to “have it all”? The ones where they look perfectly groomed, dressed to the nines on a picture-perfect outing with their well-behaved children and you can’t help but think “it didn’t look that easy when my kids were that age!”</p> <p>Well, one Aussie mum has had enough. Celeste Barber has taken to Instagram to recreate those unrealistically glamorous snaps of celebrity mums like Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen, Beyoncé and more, with hilarious results.</p> <p>Take a look at her priceless side-by-side comparisons in the gallery above and tell us in the comments below, do you think these celebrity mums set unattainable standards for regular women?</p> <p><em>Images: Celeste Barber / Instagram</em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/couples-recreate-old-photographs/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>10 couples recreate old photographs</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/06/family-adorably-recreates-photo-with-sextuplets-6-years-on/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Family adorably recreates photo with sextuplets 6 years on</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/04/will-and-kate-recreate-princess-diana-taj-mahal-photo/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Will and Kate recreate Princess Diana’s iconic Taj Mahal photo</strong></em></span></a></p>

News

The strange family habits you thought were normal

<p>Every family does certain things a certain way that might be considered strange to the outside world. The funny thing is that you often grow up thinking it’s completely normal, or at least common; that is until you bring it up in conversation with a non-family member and their response is to look at you with a mixture of bemusement and amusement. It’s a moment everybody has faced: the moment you realise your family is a bit strange (but that’s ok because being strange together is one of the whole point of families, isn’t it?).</p> <p>We asked you, the Over60 community, to reveal your weird family habits. If you do anything of the below, prepare for the normality of your world to be shattered or alternatively, be reassured that your weird family habits are not so strange after all.</p> <ul> <li>“Our family ‘sighs’. My grandmother did it, my mother did it, I do it and now my daughters do it. People are always asking us 'What’s the matter?' when we draw in a big breath and then let it out. We don't even realise we are doing it… and nothings the matter.” – Robyn Thomas</li> <li>“When one of us is touching on a subject which may start an argument, someone will yell, ‘Pineapple!’ That means you’re supposed to shut up.” – Philomena Lear</li> <li>“Fruit cake with a slice of tasty cheese… seriously, try it” – Janice McCallum Wensrich</li> <li>“Eating spoonfuls of Vegemite to ease ulcers and other pains in the mouth! It works too!” – Peter McDonald</li> <li>“Burning a match after a bowel motion. Both my folks are gone now but occasionally I still smell a match burning. Letting me know they around I guess.” – Natalie Meyle</li> <li>“Vinegar in homemade vegetable soup and on mushy peas.” – Patricia Clarke</li> <li>“We keep our gladwrap in the fridge.” – Elaine Smith</li> <li>“This is dreadful but as a kid, if I was caught wasting time, I was told that I should stop playing fiddinanny. That meant picking your naval with a bobby pin.” – Toni MacKinnon</li> <li>“My favourite food when recovering from illness is mashed potatoes (no butter) with very soft boiled eggs all mashed together. Delicious.” – Lyn Pride</li> <li>“Christmas pudding with both brandy custard and whipped cream.” – Fay Cameron</li> </ul> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/a-letter-to-by-new-granddaughter/" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">A letter to my baby granddaughter I’ve yet to meet</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/tips-to-avoid-family-dramas/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 tips to avoid family dramas</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/grandparents-share-timeless-love-advice-kids/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Grandparents share timeless love advice with grandkids</span></strong></em></a></p>

Family & Pets

Difference between normal memory loss and signs of dementia

<p>When is forgetting where the car’s parked plain old forgetfulness and when is it a sign of something you should be concerned about. With memory loss being one of the common symptoms people associate with dementia, DailyMail spoke to experts to find out what can be dismissed as absentmindedness and what is a strong indicator you should see a doctor.</p> <p><strong>Normal memory loss</strong></p> <p>Stress, depression and lack of sleep can affect your memory, as well as simply trying to do too many things as once. Our short term memories are easily distracted, meaning it will erase trivial details to make way for important memories. These are the times where forgetting something is just par for the course.</p> <ul> <li>Forgetting what you went upstairs for. </li> <li>Taking several minutes to recall where the car is parked. </li> <li>Forgetting to call a friend back while working from home with misbehaving children. </li> <li>Putting things down and being unable to find them soon after. </li> <li>Forgetting something trivial a friend mentioned the day before. </li> <li>Forgetting the name of someone you've just met. </li> <li>Briefly forgetting the word for something – the 'thingamabob' moment.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Potentially worrying memory loss</strong></p> <p>These signs are concerning and could signal dementia, but can also be symptomatic of depression, stress or a lack of concentration. A good rule of thumb is if you're aware that you don’t have the best memory or you remember you’ve forgotten, you're unlikely to have dementia. </p> <ul> <li>Multi-tasking becomes difficult — a good cook suddenly finds preparing a Sunday roast overwhelming. </li> <li>Problems negotiating familiar places, such as you regularly can't find your vehicle in the car park. </li> <li>Forgetting the names of close relatives and friends. </li> <li>Problems recognising faces, colours, shapes and words. </li> <li>Repeating the same question asked half an hour previously. </li> <li>Changing personality, such as a social butterfly who turns reclusive. </li> <li>Finding that you've left objects in the wrong place, such as keys left in the lock, and not remembering leaving them there.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Signs of dementia </strong></p> <p class="mol-para-with-font">As Alzheimer’s affects the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for short-term memory, long-term memory is often unaffected. It means that signs of short-term memory loss like these are strong indicators that you should go visit your doctor.</p> <ul> <li>Asking for a cup of tea, not realising you've just had one. </li> <li>Forgetting a grandchild's name, but childhood memories are vivid. </li> <li>No idea how to perform everyday tasks, such as washing. </li> <li>Finding family structure confusing, such as not being clear which grandchild belongs to whom. </li> <li>Impaired judgement, e.g. wearing a thick overcoat in summer. </li> <li>Being unable to tell what the purpose of an everyday object is. </li> <li>Not recognising friends and family. </li> <li>Leaving belongings in strange places, e.g. a kettle under the bed or a wallet in the fridge.</li> <li>Feeling disorientated about time and place – frequently visited places are unfamiliar.</li> </ul> <p><em>Source: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3293866/Should-worried-memory-forgetting-car-s-parked-not-remembering-names-reveal-warning-signs-dementia.html%20%20%20" target="_blank">DailyMail</a></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><em><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2015/11/asapscience-video/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Video explains why meditation is good for your mind</span></a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2015/11/expert-tips-to-stress-less/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 expert-approved ways to stress less</span></a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2015/11/gratitude-makes-you-happier/">Why gratitude makes you happier</a></span></strong></em></p> <p> </p>

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Why do I need to get up during the night to wee? Is this normal?

It’s normal for your mind to wander. Here’s how to maximise the benefits

Is it normal to forget words while speaking? And when can it spell a problem?

Lucy Letby: it is not being ‘beige’, ‘average’ or ‘normal’ that makes her crimes so hard to understand

Anxious dogs have different brains to normal dogs, brain scan study reveals

How much memory loss is normal with ageing?

Readers Respond: What was normal when you were a kid, but you never see anymore?

“How is that normal?”: Andy Murray speaks out on Texas school shooting

La Niña just raised sea levels in the western Pacific by up to 20cm. This height will be normal by 2050

Postnatal psychosis is rare, but symptoms can be brushed aside as ‘normal’ for a new mum

The surprisingly normal way royals plan their get-togethers

Memory and attention difficulties are often part of a normal life

Is my forgetfulness normal?

13 normal fights even happy couples have

Taking selfies makes your nose look bigger than it is

Why sensing the dead is normal (and even helpful)

Alzheimer’s is not a normal part of ageing

“Normal” mum hilariously recreates celebrity mum photos

The strange family habits you thought were normal

Difference between normal memory loss and signs of dementia

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Why do I need to get up during the night to wee? Is this normal?

It’s normal for your mind to wander. Here’s how to maximise the benefits

Is it normal to forget words while speaking? And when can it spell a problem?

Lucy Letby: it is not being ‘beige’, ‘average’ or ‘normal’ that makes her crimes so hard to understand

Anxious dogs have different brains to normal dogs, brain scan study reveals

How much memory loss is normal with ageing?

Readers Respond: What was normal when you were a kid, but you never see anymore?

“How is that normal?”: Andy Murray speaks out on Texas school shooting

La Niña just raised sea levels in the western Pacific by up to 20cm. This height will be normal by 2050

Postnatal psychosis is rare, but symptoms can be brushed aside as ‘normal’ for a new mum

The surprisingly normal way royals plan their get-togethers

Memory and attention difficulties are often part of a normal life

Is my forgetfulness normal?

13 normal fights even happy couples have

Taking selfies makes your nose look bigger than it is

Why sensing the dead is normal (and even helpful)

Alzheimer’s is not a normal part of ageing

“Normal” mum hilariously recreates celebrity mum photos

The strange family habits you thought were normal

Difference between normal memory loss and signs of dementia

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