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This woman went on 1000 dates to find her perfect match

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">One woman has undergone a Herculean effort to find “The One”, and has managed to find them in a surprising way.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anna Swoboda, originally from Poland but now living in Sydney, entered the online dating world when she was 22, after she was convinced she would find her one true love.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I have always believed in love. I am a romantic and a lover. I knew there was someone out there for me,” Anna <a rel="noopener" href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/online-dating-australia-tips-by-sydney-woman-anna-swoboda-who-met-1000-men-to-find-love-c-4851501" target="_blank">told</a> </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">7Life</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I had seen friends make compromises and settle down. I couldn’t do that. I vowed to settle UP. The circle of men I could meet through friends was small, so I felt the best way to find someone special, my needle in the haystack, was to get out and meet lots of men.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I kept looking.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The now-41-year-old ended up going on more than 1000 dates in her pursuit for love.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There were years where I would go out on dates five times a week, and years where I wouldn’t date at all because I was in a relationship,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I also consciously took a few years off dating.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As for discerning whether a first date would turn into more, she said she knew instantly.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I would know quickly if it was going to work or not. But I was always curious and genuinely interested in all my dates,” she explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I would feel men’s vulnerability and make sure that even if it wasn’t going to work, we should have a good time and both feel comfortable and valued. Men are much more vulnerable than they let on.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After 1000 dates, two serious relationships and nine failed relationships, Anna met her now-fiancé through a mutual matchmaking friend three years ago.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“He had just returned from living overseas, and she was convinced we would be great together, so she made the introduction. She was so right,” Anna recalled.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“My fiancé and I are very compatible and have the same mindset. This is what makes a huge difference.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Reflecting back on her dating history, Anna admitted that she wouldn’t have gone on many of the dates she went on.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Dating is not a numbers game,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s about really understanding your requirements and compatibility. At the time I wasn’t clear about the ultimate vision for my life and my relationship.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I also wasn’t fully aware of my limiting beliefs in regards to dating and relationships.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now a relationship coach, Anna has started her own matchmaking business, called <a rel="noopener" href="https://heartmatch.com.au/" target="_blank">HeartMatch</a>, to help others find love.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There is someone out there for everyone,” she said.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Anna Swoboda</span></em></p>

Relationships

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Online dating for seniors: Tips from a professional matchmaker

<p>More and more Australians are looking to find love on the Internet – and it's easy to understand why, with the plethora of dating services available on the market today and the convenience they offer of finding potential new partners in the comfort of your home.</p> <p>However, this doesn't change the daunting nature of dating. Filtering through numerous profiles, creating first impressions and navigating conversations could be quite overwhelming, especially for those looking for romance later in life.</p> <p>Holly Bartter knows this struggle all too well. Bartter, who founded the online dating service <span><a href="https://www.matchsmith.com/">Matchsmith</a></span>, specialises in dating ‘outsourcing’ where she manages clients’ dating profiles, from bio makeovers to matching and messaging the right candidates.</p> <p>Bartter started her business after finding out she had a knack for setting up her friends, family and colleagues on dates.</p> <p>Her clientele, mostly women, range across generations, including individuals over 60 seeking a suitable partner.</p> <p>Bartter said her older clients tend to have a better idea of what they are looking for in a partner.</p> <p>"My younger clients may have more insecurities about themselves and what kind of person they want to be with," she told <em>Over60</em>. "They are still getting to know who they are and perhaps haven't had a significant long-term relationship yet.</p> <p>"Individuals over 60 have real life experience and a sense of self and identity – they understand what is really meaningful to them in a relationship and what they want."</p> <p>However, this does not mean that seniors have no pitfalls in online dating. According to Bartter, low screen time could disrupt the momentum with potential love interests. “Often my clients won't be online much, with other things occupying their days, so they can miss opportunities to connect and reply – and a match can be lost!”</p> <p>Another risk was romance scam. Last year, nearly 4,000 Australians reported losing money to dating scammers, with people aged 45 to 64 being the most affected. "Seniors can also be too trusting online at times and should be wary of stock photos online in place of actual headshots," said Bartter.</p> <p>"Luckily online platforms like RSVP and eHarmony are really screening against this.</p> <p>"But the moral of the story always is that if someone refuses to share more photos, other details or won't meet for a coffee or call you, they may not be who they say they are!"</p> <p>Bartter has a few words of advice to share for a thriving online dating life. For a smooth-flowing conversation, she said three things are the key: consistency and personalisation.</p> <p>"Make the online conversation tailored to that person," advised Bartter. "Really review the profiles of your matches and find something you'd like to learn more about."</p> <p>She also suggested to keep the chat light. "Have fun and be light-hearted. There is time for more serious conversation over the phone, but online just focus on being friendly and learning about the personality of your match – are they respectful? Do they answer your questions? Are they replying regularly?" she said.</p> <p>While you may be excited to talk further with that promising person, "always send just one introductory message," Bartter said. "Never message more than once until they have replied."</p> <p>Bartter said while online dating is indeed a numbers' game, it should still be an enjoyable experience. "There is someone out there for everyone at all ages, but you have to be in it to win it," she said. "And dating should always be fun – if you're not having a good time, pause and revisit later, and never feel obligated to meet someone if you don't enjoy their conversation."</p> <p>Are you on any online dating apps or websites at the moment? Share your stories in the comments.</p>

Relationships

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8 brutally honest tips on finding love from a matchmaker

<p><em><strong>Linda Prescott is the Chief matchmaker at <a href="http://idealintroductions.com.au" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Ideal Introductions</span></a> and has been helping people find love for over 20 years.</strong></em></p> <p>When it comes to finding love, especially later in life,history tells us quite often the person you are compatible with and end up with, isn’t someone you would have normally chosen for yourself. This just means that at all times you should be open-minded because you just never know. We will always have a reason behind our choices for you.</p> <p>Be realistic and flexible with your desired companion criteria as it works both ways. The bigger the want list the smaller the ‘dating pool’. A bigger dating pool always means a greater chance of you finding your ideal partner. Sometimes we set the bar too high and close ourselves off to opportunities without even realising. The right relationship is built on a solid foundation of needs not wants.</p> <p>Here are my top eight brutally honest tips to help you in your journey to find love.</p> <p><strong>1. Change your mind-set</strong></p> <p>We all know the age-old saying, “You have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince”. There’s truth in this idea but it’s not that you need to quickly find lots of people to kiss in order to find “the one”. The key is to approach each opportunity (think a date or meeting new people) with an open mind, heart and neutral expectations. In other words: go with the flow. Some things will work out and others will not, it’s all part and parcel with dating (and love) and the sooner you accept an adopt this attitude the sooner you will be able to see it all as a much more enjoyable and exciting journey.</p> <p><strong>2. Visualise your love/romantic manifesto</strong></p> <p>Whether it’s a physical vision board, a Pinterest board or visualising meditative exercises, you’ll be surprised how powerful it can be to visually “showcase” your ideal love story. Think of images, quotes, mementos, things you want to do with a partner, places you want to go. Picture yourself in 10 years from now with your partner – what do you see? What do you want to see? Visualise that. Just remember to be open minded and don’t focus too much on looks – you need to think deeper. You should think about the type of life you want, what’s important to you and how you and your partner both fit into that. You’ll be surprised how focussed and open to the future you are when you take the time to think about what you really want. This will also help ensure you don’t settle for a situation that is wrong for you.</p> <p><strong>3. Be proactive about meeting people</strong></p> <p>While you don’t want to become obsessed in your search for a partner, you do have to make sure you are doing things that increase your chances of meeting someone. Just like you would put in an effort to land your dream job. Think about it, it’s the person you’re going to potentially spend your life with – now, that definitely requires some thought if you’re going to have a happy and fulfilled life.</p> <p><strong>4. Know what you’re brining to the table</strong></p> <p>In other words, know your worth and be ready to talk about yourself confidently. You know you’re awesome and anyone would be lucky to have you, so you need to be prepared to talk about why. It’s quite common to get so wrapped up in focussing on what the perfect partner is like, that we forget to think about why someone would be lucky to have us. What are you bringing to the table that will attract your ideal match?</p> <p><strong>5. Remember to look up</strong></p> <p>In today’s world, we are way too ruled by technology. Step away from your tablet and look up from your phone. Connections and opportunities are missed when you’re too busy looking down. If you’re after a romantic story of how you met your partner, you’re never going to lock eyes on a crowded bus if you’re too busy swiping on your phone.</p> <p><strong>6. Stop trying to analyse them</strong></p> <p>Forget Facebook, Google and Instagram to reveal clues about a potential love interest. You are wasting your time. Talk to them instead.</p> <p><strong>7. Throw your checklist out the door</strong></p> <p>…well, the comprehensive list anyway. Sometimes throwing the checklist out the window is the beauty of life. Take weekends with no plans, for example, how exhilarating can it be to wake up and have no to-do list to stick to? When it comes to finding love, go out and enjoy life, meet new people, be open to love and above all, embrace every opportunity.</p> <p><strong>8. Forget all of the rules (and don’t beat around the bush if you want a second date)</strong></p> <p>Today there really is no “rule book for dating”. Say goodbye to waiting three days to ask someone out again and goodbye to girls having to wait to be asked out. If you’re interested, don’t beat around the bush just make the first move. Confidence is incredibly attractive.</p>

Relationships