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How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>“I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.”</p> <p>I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned.</p> <p>Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves.</p> <p>But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success.</p> <p>Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way.</p> <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <p><a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients.</p> <p><strong>1. Self-kindness</strong></p> <p>This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments.</p> <p>For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day.</p> <p><strong>2. Mindfulness</strong></p> <p>In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them.</p> <p>Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective.</p> <p><strong>3. Common humanity</strong></p> <p>Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human.</p> <p>For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone.</p> <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> <p>When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence.</p> <p>“So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked.</p> <p>Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health.</p> <p>Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions.</p> <p>It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>.</p> <h2>What does the science say?</h2> <p>Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress.</p> <p>Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up.</p> <p>So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential.</p> <p>However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope.</p> <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> <p>I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life.</p> <p>Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>.</p> <p>I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults.</p> <p>We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population.</p> <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> <p>You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises.</p> <p><strong>1. What would you say to a friend?</strong></p> <p>Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself?</p> <p>If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself.</p> <p><strong>2. Harness the power of touch</strong></p> <p>Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response.</p> <p>Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress.</p> <p><strong>3. What do I need right now?</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs.</p> <p>For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am.</p> <p>Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583"><em>Lydia Brown</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y & Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

Meet the revolutionary beauty brand who are keeping kindness in mind

<p dir="ltr">As the beauty market continues to be flooded with new products, new trends and new ingredients that claim to change your life, it's easy to get lost in the overwhelming choices. </p> <p dir="ltr">Due to all this noise, many beauty consumers are trying to unveil the honest truth about what is going into their makeup and skincare, as priorities are shifting to include multi-use products to simplify daily beauty routines. </p> <p dir="ltr">On top of this, the majority of consumers are looking to support businesses that have a key focus on sustainability. </p> <p dir="ltr">Enter: The KIND Collective. </p> <p dir="ltr">This proudly Australian owned and female-operated business is on a mission to add conscious driven, multi-purpose cosmetic products to everyone’s beauty repertoire without breaking the bank. </p> <p dir="ltr">This is why The KIND Collective makes products that are more than just pretty to wear, but contain nourishing, native ingredients that have been mindfully selected.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CnjI1cZMCDm/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CnjI1cZMCDm/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The KIND Collective are also cruelty-free, 100% vegan and are PETA accredited, helping customers indulge in guilt-free beauty. </p> <p dir="ltr">This revolutionary brand has also joined more than 500 B Corp Certified Australian and New Zealand businesses, with only 20 companies being certified in the skin, nail and hair space. </p> <p dir="ltr">This certification assessment measures a business’s ongoing impact on its workers, community and suppliers, while ensuring it is delivering its best for both customers and the environment. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrcJ1euShUa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrcJ1euShUa/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Brand co-founder Lynda Chapman believes it is important for businesses to do their part both locally and internationally but looking at their social and environmental impact.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “Today consumers are demanding more from businesses and I think that is an amazing thing! We have always believed that a business has the power to create positive change… and we are so excited to be part of this global movement of businesses that are using their power to be a force of good.” </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci6s1HaMGc6/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci6s1HaMGc6/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">You can pick up all your makeup and skincare needs from The KIND Collective on their <a href="https://www.thekindcollectiveaustralia.com/collections/bundles">official website</a>, or in-store at <a href="https://www.priceline.com.au/brand/kind-cosmetics">Priceline</a>, <a href="https://www.bigw.com.au/health-beauty/makeup-cosmetics/c/6220?filter%5BbrandName%5D=Kind+Collective">Big W</a>, and select <a href="https://terrywhitechemmart.com.au/">Terry White</a> chemists. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

Beauty & Style

Stranger’s “kind” act for a struggling single mum

<p dir="ltr">A struggling single mother has been moved to tears by a stranger’s random act of kindness while doing her grocery shopping. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mother, hailing from Ipswich in Queensland, was doing her shopping ahead of the school term starting up as she paced the aisles mentally tallying the cost of her groceries to not go over her strict budget. </p> <p dir="ltr">As she continued to add carefully selected items to her trolley, a young girl approached her with a gift. </p> <p dir="ltr">The girl handed her a $50 note saying it was a gift from her mother, in a random act of kindness that left her “shaking and crying”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had the most incredible thing happen to me today. I'm in Woolies Riverlink in Ipswich QLD getting a few things for back to school and I'm adding my shopping up on my calculator and checking the price of EVERYTHING,” the mum wrote in a Facebook post. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Next, a lovely little girl came up to me handing me a $50 and said 'My mummy wants to give you a gift', I said 'Thank you, have the wrong person, honey'.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The young girl assured the woman she was the person her mum wanted to give the $50 to and ran off before she could say anything else. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I looked up at her mum shaking and in tears and she gave me a nod and a thumbs up,” the woman said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She had no idea just how much I needed this right now. Her kindness meant the world to me.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Many applauded the stranger’s generosity as more families are feeling the pressure with sky-rocketing costs of living, with like-minded budgeting mothers sharing how they were touched by the sweet story. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Made me cry this lovely Sunday morning. Always gives hope to know there are some really wonderful people out there,” one person said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some truly wonderful people in the world! You don't have to give someone $50 to make their day - any small kind gesture can change the course of someone's life,” a second agreed.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some absolute angels out there for sure!” said another. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

“Thank you stranger”: Woolies shopper left stunned

<p dir="ltr">A shopper at Woolworths was left shocked after a cashier’s unexpected act at the checkout.</p> <p dir="ltr">The single mum shared her feel-good story in a post on Facebook.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There was such a beautiful young lady working the checkout register tonight,” she wrote in the post.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had a rough day, and when she asked how my day was, I answered with: ‘Not a great one’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The mum-of-three was paying for her groceries with vouchers she’d been gifted from friends who wanted to “lend a hand” as her family was struggling.</p> <p dir="ltr">After she put her shop through the checkout, the vouchers didn’t cover the entire cost, so she asked the cashier to take a bag of bread rolls off the total.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Woolies worker surprised the mum by covering the cost of the bread rolls herself. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I don’t recall her name, but I feel that she deserves a massive thank you, as she made my day and turned it around with her kindness,” the mum said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“So thank you stranger - you made an old tired mum have faith there’s still kindness in the world.” </p> <p dir="ltr">Woolworths responded to the mum’s Facebook post and said they would share her feedback with the store’s management team so the staff member can be acknowledged for her random act of kindness.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Food & Wine

"Just pure kindness": Richard E Grant's emotional gift after wife's death

<p>Richard E Grant has shared the story of an incredibly thoughtful gift from his neighbour. </p> <p>The English actor said he was "undone" by his neighbour's gift, which was a heart-warming reminder of his late wife. </p> <p>Grant, 65, lost his wife, dialect coach Joan Washington, to lung cancer in September 2021.</p> <p>The actor shared an emotional video about the gift and how much it meant to him while he is continuing to grieve his loss. </p> <p>“I returned to the Cotswolds today for the weekend and the kind of violence in the silence as you long to hear the person that you can never hear again,” he began, looking visibly emotional.</p> <p>“What has completely floored me is to find that my incredibly generous neighbour Jules Bowsher has gifted me a comfort blanket, or a lap quilt as she calls it."</p> <p>“She has hand embroidered it over months, with all of my wife’s favourite poetry."</p> <p>“All of the names of the actors and coaches she worked with over the decades, films and stage plays that she coached on."</p> <p>“All the expressions that were common to our 38-year-long marriage.”</p> <p>The actor continued, “It includes little 3D pockets of happiness with keepsakes and trinkets, all referencing our long marriage.”</p> <p>“The amount of time she has taken to do this, it’s beyond measure as the kindness of friendship has undone me in the greatest spirit of Christmas as possible,” Grant said.</p> <p>“How can two little words, ‘Thank you,’ begin to adequately convey the enormity of what she has given me?</p> <p>“We’re not related. We’re not family or anything like that. Just pure kindness.”</p> <p>He finished by saying, “Thank you Jules. You’ve made a grown man cry with gratitude.”</p> <p>Fans flocked to comment on what a kind gift it was, sharing their admiration for the actor's thoughtful neighbour. </p> <p>“The hours that lovely lady must have spent, but to see how well received it has been, must give her pleasure too,” one follower wrote.</p> <div> <p>“What a kind lady,” wrote another.</p> <p>“I have lost my only son, and the kindness of people has blown me away; the world can be a hard place to be sometimes, but kindness truly takes over everything else, for sure.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p> </div>

Caring

"That's what it's all about": Bunnings worker praised for act of kindness

<p>A Bunnings worker has been praised after his wholesome interaction with an elderly customer went viral. </p> <p>The employee, who at the time was on shift at Rothwell Bunnings in Queensland’s Moreton Bay Region, was applauded for his kind act as he helped a woman back to her car. </p> <p>He was spotted slowly guiding an elderly woman across the road while having a “lovely conversation”.</p> <p>The sweet moment was later shared to social media where it has since attracted a huge reaction.</p> <p>“I wanted to share a photo that makes my heart sing,” the woman behind the post to Facebook wrote. </p> <p>“A worker from Bunnings at Rothwell accompanying an older lady to her car. They were having a lovely conversation and he didn’t seem to mind that it took her a bit longer.”</p> <p>She went on to praise the worker on his patience and kindness, and called for his employer to share their recognition of the young man. </p> <p>“Well done to this young man for his kindness and compassion, he should be very proud of the person that he is.</p> <p>“I would also like to say to Bunnings Warehouse Australia that this staff member’s a superstar and should be acknowledged because his humanity and kindness also reflects well on Bunnings.”</p> <p>Dozens of people flocked to the comments to agree with the post, singing their praises for the young worker. </p> <p>“It’s great to see employees going out of their way to help their customers. Bunnings is one company where this is not a rarity. Well done to the employee, it warms the heart to see this happening nowadays,” one comment read. </p> <p>“He is amazing. I hope Bunnings realise how valuable he is,” someone else wrote. </p> <p>“Well done, what a caring young man. I hope you have a lot of happiness in your life. You deserve only the best,” a third wrote. </p> <p>Others agreed gestures of this nature made a significant difference in the community. </p> <p>“And that’s what it’s all about, helping elderly people in the community. It all makes a difference to them and they appreciate it very much,” one remarked.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook</em></p>

Caring

"A kind of meditative peace": Quiet hour shopping makes us wonder why our cities have to be so noisy

<p>The idea behind “quiet hour” shopping is to set aside a time each week for a retail experience that minimises noise and other sources of sensory overload. It is aimed at people who are <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/10/explainer-neurodivergence-mental-health/">neurodivergent</a> – an umbrella term for people with autism, ADHD and other sensory-processing conditions. </p> <p>What began as a boutique or specialist retail strategy has become more mainstream. Major <a href="https://www.coles.com.au/about-coles/community/accessibility/quiet-hour">supermarket</a> <a href="https://www.woolworthsgroup.com.au/au/en/media/news-archive/2019/woolworths-rolls-out-quiet-hour-to-select-stores-across-australia.html">chains</a> and <a href="https://insideretail.com.au/news/westfield-tuggerah-introduces-quiet-hour-for-people-with-dementia-autism-201907">shopping centres</a> in Australia and overseas have introduced it in recent years.</p> <p>In newly published <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/07255136221133188">research</a> we explored quiet hour as an aspect of the impacts of sound on how people experience city life. As expected, we found it did benefit people who are neurodivergent. But other people also welcomed the relief from sensory overload once they’d overcome the feeling of having wandered into an eerily quiet “post-apocalyptic scene”. </p> <p>Our work has made us question the acceptance of urban noise and light as being part and parcel of a vibrant city.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">As families around Australia prepare for Santa’s arrival Coles and Woolworths supermarkets become a centre of activity.<br />Both stores offer ‘Quiet Hour’ on Tuesday for a low sensory shopping experience.<br />Coles hours: <a href="https://t.co/jZV0f5bGwm">https://t.co/jZV0f5bGwm</a> <br />Woolworths hours: <a href="https://t.co/X5iMm05cOr">https://t.co/X5iMm05cOr</a> <a href="https://t.co/R5CyXcB9R3">pic.twitter.com/R5CyXcB9R3</a></p> <p>— NDIS (@NDIS) <a href="https://twitter.com/NDIS/status/1458706093492817923?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2021</a></p></blockquote> <h2>What does quiet hour involve?</h2> <p>Quiet hour is intended to make retail spaces more inclusive or sensory-friendly. Its features include retailers or mall managers agreeing to: </p> <ul> <li> <p>switch automatic doors to open</p> </li> <li> <p>pause collection of trolleys</p> </li> <li> <p>turn off the PA and music</p> </li> <li> <p>fix flickering lights and turn off as much lighting as practicable</p> </li> <li> <p>remove scented reeds and pause automatic scent dispensers</p> </li> <li> <p>switch off hand dryers </p> </li> <li> <p>turn down the volume on checkout scanners.</p> </li> </ul> <p>One of the tools we used for mapping quiet hour was a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/07255136221133188">thematic analysis</a> of reports about it in Australian print media from 2017 to 2019. We found the following themes: </p> <ul> <li> <p>an emphasis on the kinds of discomforts associated with retail environments</p> </li> <li> <p>the importance of providing a “low-sensory environment” as a form of inclusion</p> </li> <li> <p>while lighting was often mentioned, the main recurring theme was the reduction of sound. </p> </li> </ul> <h2>Why does reducing sound matter?</h2> <p>Sound and sensory hypersensitivity are important themes in neurodivergent people’s accounts of how they struggle with everyday experiences others take for granted. </p> <p>Leading autism researcher and advocate Sandra Thom-Jones <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/growing-in-to-autism-paperback-softback">writes</a> that neurodivergents’ sensitivity to sound is complex. It’s affected by “what the sound actually is, how loud it is, whether I am expecting it, and whether I can control it”.</p> <p>People might assume everyone has the ability to <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780203033142-4/radio-texture-self-others1-jo-tacchi">frame which sounds are important</a> and which are “irrelevant to what we are listening to or doing”. However, the ability to single out sound sources and block out background noise is a major point of differentiation between neurotypicals and neurodivergents.</p> <p>Thom-Jones, who received her autism diagnosis at age 52, <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/growing-in-to-autism-paperback-softback">reports</a> that when she is “in an environment with multiple sounds” she tends to “hear all of them”.</p> <p>Thus, when she is catching up with a friend in a café, she may be “listening intently” to what her friend is saying but she will also be “hearing the piped music, the people talking at the next table, cars driving past, the coffee machine”. </p> <h2>Others welcome quiet hour too</h2> <p>Given how neurodivergents process sound, quiet hour is likely to increase their sense of comfort in retail spaces. </p> <p>However, quiet hour also suspends or – to use a term coined by <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/Frame_Analysis/XBpmAAAAIAAJ?hl=en">Erving Goffman</a> – “rekeys” the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/symb.506">sensory frames</a> of all shoppers. A quiet hour could benefit lots of people who may not have a specific condition but simply prefer a quieter retail environment.</p> <p>We found this is an under-researched area, but did find anecdotal accounts to suggest this. Take the <a href="https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/12-07-2020/the-quiet-hours-in-praise-of-supermarket-serenity">case</a> of New Zealand actress and author Michelle Langstone. </p> <p>She reports visiting stores across Auckland and Rotorua that offer quiet-hour shopping. She stumbled upon it by “sheer luck”. At first, she admits, it felt “a bit like a post-apocalyptic scene”.</p> <p>Once she adjusted to the unfamiliar sensory environment, she felt herself succumbing to changed supermarket routines, “I cruised every single [aisle], taking in the quiet for nearly 45 minutes, at the end of which I felt a kind of meditative peace come over me.” </p> <p>Langstone also <a href="https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/12-07-2020/the-quiet-hours-in-praise-of-supermarket-serenity">reports</a> avoiding impulse buying. That first time she left with “only [the] bread and eggs” she had gone to the shop for. She was able to focus on shopping rather than “multi-tasking”, and quiet hour left her with a “feeling of goodwill towards all shoppers”. </p> <p>In other words, even if the strategy is about levelling the sensory playing field for neurodivergents, it seems to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/soin.12232">change the shopping experience</a> for other people too.</p> <h2>Why the bias towards the noisy city?</h2> <p>As researchers interested in sound and space, quiet hour made us reflect on how we think about these issues and our attitudes to noise. It made us question, for example, why one of the most cited texts in our field is entitled <a href="https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/noise">Noise: The Political Economy of Music</a>?</p> <p>Studies of silence or quietude are rare in urban or spatial studies. One has to turn to fields such as the study of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1466138109339041">meditation practices</a> or the silence associated with <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-au/A+History+of+Silence:+From+the+Renaissance+to+the+Present+Day-p-9781509517350">nature or sacred spaces</a> to find positive accounts of reduced noise.</p> <p>This needs correcting. Sound intensity matters if cities, buildings or public spaces are to foster hospitality and “<a href="https://www.metrolab.brussels/publications/the-qualities-of-hospitality-and-the-concept-of-inclusive-city">support people in their activities by facilitating their stay</a>”. </p> <p>What quiet hour teaches us is that an inclusive or welcoming city is a city that “<a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Resonance%3A+A+Sociology+of+Our+Relationship+to+the+World-p-9781509519927">resonates</a>” with different kinds of minds, bodies and styles of sensory processing. </p> <p>Quiet hour might therefore be both an inclusion strategy and an experiment that forces us to think more deeply about our cities and how they sound.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-kind-of-meditative-peace-quiet-hour-shopping-makes-us-wonder-why-our-cities-have-to-be-so-noisy-193461" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Travel Tips

Russell to the rescue!

<p dir="ltr">The owners of a UK bookshop owe the renewed success of their business to a surprising hero: beloved movie star Russell Crowe.</p> <p dir="ltr">Leonne and Dan Fridd, who operate and own Bookbugs and Dragon Tales in Norwich, received a huge donation to the tune of £5,000 ($AU 8800 or $NZ 9900) from the Gladiator actor during a one-off fundraising initiative.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Fridds started the fundraiser after COVID-19 saw their bookshop close during lockdowns, only to reopen and face more struggles during the cost of living crisis.</p> <p dir="ltr">With a goal of £15,000, they hoped to give the business “breathing space” and do more outreach work with kids, including bringing in books for children who may not have easy access to the Norwich city centre.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, the Hollywood star’s generous donation came within hours of the launch of their online appeal and bumped their fundraising total to a whopping £19,740.</p> <p dir="ltr">Speaking to the <em>Today Show</em>, the couple said they believe they share a mutual friend with Crowe and have had no contact from him about the donation.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It's incredible what he's done because he's not just given the money, but he's given his name and the ensuing media attention that we've managed to get because of it," Dan said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The shop has been packed ever since and it's been amazing."</p> <p dir="ltr">Crowe didn’t just give them a financial gift either, with the news of his donation making their story the talk of the town and boosting their community outreach efforts.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This has absolutely given us such a boost and it's just - it's an incredible gift," Leanne said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"We know this isn't the first time he's done something like this to change people's lives," Dan added.</p> <p dir="ltr">"He's not just changed our lives, he's changed the children of Norwich's lives and the people we can reach."</p> <p dir="ltr">Having donated over £500, Crowe is entitled to a personalised gold loyalty card that grants him a lifetime discount at the shop - but he told the Fridds they could keep it and frame it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I'm sure he doesn't need 10% off purchases for life,” Leanne told the <em>BBC</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">"But who knows, maybe if he's in Norwich one day he might pop in and see us, but then again, if he did that, we might lose our minds."</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-d9ce2eb3-7fff-c2c7-ea50-30139c8c3fbd"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Today Show / Wikipedia</em></p>

Books

Small gestures are most important in relationships

<p>It’s not grand gestures and lavish gifts that make love last but the little things that you do and say that show how much you care. </p> <p>The Enduring Love project by Open University in Britain surveyed more than 5,000 people on their relationships and found, contrary to popular belief, it’s not big displays of love that count but the mundane, day-to-day gestures, like sharing a cup of coffee, that helped sustain a relationship and were crucial to relationship satisfaction.</p> <p>“Surprise gifts and small acts of kindness were valued highly, with ‘a cup of tea’ being singled out as a significant sign of their partner's appreciation.</p> <p>Bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates were seen as less important than the thoughtfulness behind the gesture,” the study states.</p> <p>Jacqui Gabb, co-author of the project, noted, “Actions really do speak louder than words and many people consider a loving gesture to be as valuable as hearing ‘I love you’.</p> <p>Grand romantic gestures, although appreciated, don't nurture a relationship as much as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed, or watching TV together.”</p> <p>The project identified sharing values, faith, beliefs, tastes, ambitions and interests with their partner, as well as expressions of intimacy and being aware of one another’s needs as important to relationship satisfaction.</p> <p>It also found having children affected relationship quality more than any other factor and mothers are happiest in their life than any other group.</p> <p>Co-author Janet Fink said: "With a tough economic climate, the rise in grey divorce and social media opening up new ways to start affairs, it isn't always easy to keep love alive today.</p> <p>"However, our survey has shown that surviving adversities – even very difficult situations such as being out of work – can make a relationship much stronger. What doesn't break you can make you."</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Giving out flowers on TikTok: is this a ‘random act of kindness’ or just benevolent ageism?

<p>In June, 22-year-old Harrison Pawluk filmed himself staging a “random act of kindness”, giving a bunch of flowers to an older woman sitting alone in a Melbourne food court.</p> <p>His <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@lifeofharrison/video/7111321730773175553?lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">video</a> went viral on TikTok, attracting 57 million views within a week.</p> <p>Comments on the post included, “when she started crying, I couldn’t hold it back” and “wow that was so beautiful I swear I would cry”.</p> <p>Acts of kindness can boost <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103117303451" target="_blank" rel="noopener">wellbeing</a> for the giver, the recipient, and even the viewers of selfless acts. Social media influencers have found ways to commodify this by presenting them as random and unexpected.</p> <div data-id="17"> </div> <p>But this gesture was interpreted by Maree, the woman targeted for the video, as an artificially staged production that left her feeling “<a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-07-14/tiktok-video-maree-melbourne-flowers/101228418" target="_blank" rel="noopener">dehumanised</a>” and like “clickbait” for tabloid fodder.</p> <p>In the media, individuals aged over 60 are often depicted as a homogeneous group of elderly people who lack personality, social identity or individuality.</p> <p>It’s not just a “random act of kindness”. Pawluk’s actions – and some of the media coverage – unearths a much bigger problem of “benevolent ageism”.</p> <h2>What is benevolent ageism?</h2> <p>When we talk about ageism, people often think of overt acts such as older people being explicitly told they are dressed “<a href="https://au.finance.yahoo.com/news/louise-di-francesco-ageism-at-work-200031282.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">inappropriately</a>” for their age, or an employer refusing to hire someone for a job because of their age.</p> <p>But not all ageism is overt. “<a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2793359" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Everyday ageism</a>” is a more subtle yet pervasive component that informs our impressions of older people. This could be assumptions about what older people’s preferences are because of their age group, or that by a certain age most people should be “slowing down”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism is where these every day biases manifest in the belief that older people need special “help” or “support”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism manifests in the way people sometimes use pet names or <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/ageism#ageism-in-healthcare" target="_blank" rel="noopener">baby talk</a> to address older people; an emphasis on <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1540-4560.2005.00405.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">pitying</a> people above a certain age; or the importance placed on “<a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.587911/full" target="_blank" rel="noopener">protecting</a>” older people during the COVID pandemic.</p> <p>Commenters on Pawluk’s video said “[the flowers] made her feel so good and it looks like she might have needed it”, “she is so cute” and “I miss my grandma!”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism leads to false assumptions or inaccurate and limiting stereotypes about older people being “warm but not competent” and lacking individuality.</p> <p>In Pawluk’s video, Maree is framed as being sad and alone. Speaking to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-07-14/tiktok-video-maree-melbourne-flowers/101228418" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC Radio</a>, Maree expressed frustration at being presented as “the elderly woman who drank a takeaway cup of coffee”.</p> <p>“It’s the patronising assumption that women, especially older women, will be thrilled by some random stranger giving them flowers,” she told the ABC.</p> <h2>Our implicit biases</h2> <p>Benevolent ageism is hiding in plain sight.</p> <p>Our own ageist biases can show up in everyday judgements we make about people’s capacity to work, how they dress or whether they are in need of assistance or attention because of their age.</p> <p>Ageist characterisations are culturally reinforced by media portrayals, and have the effect of categorising “older people” – <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/josi.12162" target="_blank" rel="noopener">particularly women</a> – as being lonely and in need of pity.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/18-03-2021-ageism-is-a-global-challenge-un" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recent report</a> from the World Health Organization shows one in every two people shows moderate to high levels of ageist attitudes, with their definition of ageism encompassing stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself based on age.</p> <p>The Australian Human Rights Commission found that <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/about/news/new-research-finds-ageism-most-accepted-form-prejudice-australia-0" target="_blank" rel="noopener">90% of Australians</a> agree that ageism exists in Australia.</p> <p>Age discrimination commissioner Kay Patterson calls ageism “the least understood form of discriminatory prejudice” and “more pervasive and socially accepted than sexism and racism”.</p> <p>Internalised ageism, in which we unconsciously hold these own ageist attitudes against ourselves, negatively impacts our functional health as we age and can even <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S009174350400115X" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shorten our own lifespan</a>.</p> <h2>Stereotypes facing older women</h2> <p>These TikTok random acts of kindness can have the unfortunate overtone of the <a href="https://www.britishgerontology.org/content/22875/Live/pdf/Generations_Review%2025%202%20July%202015.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">twin prejudices</a> of ageism and sexism. Older women targeted in this way can be left feeling like their identity is reduced to being just an older lady in need of pity.</p> <p>When interviewed by The Project, Pawluk <a href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/current-affairs/aussie-tiktok-star-sorry-but-wont-stop-controversial-acts-of-kindness/news-story/347c18457d80a961e27c6b31f42b2507" target="_blank" rel="noopener">apologised</a> to Maree. He claims he does not target people based on their age.</p> <p>But the assumptions made about Maree – and other women to whom he has offered flowers – are embedded in age-old stereotypes about older women: that they are sad or lonely, and in need of support.</p> <p>There is nothing wrong with greeting another person regardless of their age. But the framing of this TikTok video is a clear example of ageist stereotypes manifesting as a show of concern.</p> <p>Much of the news reporting and comments surrounding the event were also examples of everyday ageism. The Daily Mail <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10967869/Melbourne-TikToker-Harrison-Pawluk-gives-woman-bunch-flowers.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">described the video</a> as a “heartwarming moment [where] a total stranger gives an elderly woman a bunch of flowers before she bursts into tears”.</p> <p>Although likely not the initial intention of the gesture, this social media craze of capturing supposed “random acts of kindness” can have the undesired effect of diminishing the perceived social value of the target to whom the protagonist is trying to show kindness.</p> <p>We should take this as a moment to pause and address our own unconscious biases and our subtle forms of everyday ageism of the benevolent kind.</p> <p><em><strong>This article originally appeared on The Conversation.</strong></em></p> <p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p>

Retirement Life

The one-of-a-kind Jumbo Hotel is back in full flight!

<p>Easily mistaken for a regular aircraft, the Jumbo Stay Hotel plane is a jet that has been refurbished and turned into a hotel! Ordinarily it’s not something many people know about unless you have flown in or out of Sweden’s Arlanda Airport, which is home to the unique digs.</p> <p>While the Jumbo Stay Hotel plane has been around for many years (and no, it doesn't fly anymore), a video revealing what it looks like on the inside has now gone viral on TikTok.</p> <blockquote class="tiktok-embed" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@thepointsguy/video/7116918197525187883" data-video-id="7116918197525187883"> <section><a title="@thepointsguy" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thepointsguy" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@thepointsguy</a> Would you spend a night at the Jumbo Stay Hotel? <a title="aviation" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/aviation" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#aviation</a> <a title="airport" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/airport" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#airport</a> <a title="hotel" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/hotel" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#hotel</a> <a title="♬ WHERE I WANNA BE - Archie Thompson" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/WHERE-I-WANNA-BE-6768743855144568833" target="_blank" rel="noopener">♬ WHERE I WANNA BE - Archie Thompson</a></section> </blockquote> <p>“This is the one plane you will never have any troubles sleeping on,” The Points Guy said in a clip of the plane.</p> <p>The Boeing 747 is parked just outside the Stockholm airport and was initially built for Singapore Airlines back in 1976.</p> <p>Back in 2006, more than $US3 million was spent on transforming the jet into a hotel allowing people to live out their dream and sleep in the cockpit, with almost every part of the aircraft turned into accommodation.</p> <p>“For starters, you can walk right out onto the wings of the aircraft with tables and chairs set up to enjoy a drink or a snack,” a team member of the US travel blog continued.</p> <p>“You can eat breakfast in the nose of the aircraft and enjoy a buffet in the retro dining space while reading all about the history of the 747.”</p> <p>He said upstairs you will find one of the most unique aspects of the accommodation. “The cockpit suite complete with a queen-size bed and the 747’s original flight controls.</p> <p>“While the cockpit seats have been removed to maximise sleeping space, you can still sit on the edge of the mattress and live out your pilot fantasy like we did.”</p> <p>The Jumbo Stay Hotel was out of action for a while due to the pandemic, but it’s now up and running again with prices starting from around $60 per night – up to $255 per night for the cockpit ensuite. </p> <p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p>

Real Estate

Grocery do-gooder finally unmasked

<p dir="ltr">A mystery supermarket do-gooder has been unmasked and revealed to be a retired businessman who says he never wants to grow up.</p> <p dir="ltr">Dean Graham, the son of late rich-lister Neil Graham, came forward and identified himself as the one paying for people’s groceries or restaurant bills, which he says he does on a weekly basis around New Zealand, per the <em><a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/mystery-supermarket-angel-paying-for-peoples-groceries-in-canterbury/3FIF2AYHKUZPOUCM5NUGD2MP3Y/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NZ Herald</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s just giving people something to put a smile on their face really,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“These days it’s a lot of doom and gloom, and things are tough for a lot of people.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Last month, the 56-year-old left more than $200 cash with a checkout operator at a Lincoln New World store to pay for the groceries of the family behind him in line.</p> <p dir="ltr">Jen Stewart, the mum who received his act of kindness, told Star News she and her young family had just been through a difficult period recovering from Covid and that Graham’s gift left her “speechless”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This person didn’t know how grateful I was on that very week that he would pay for my shopping,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">After using $100 to pay for her groceries, she gave the remainder to another grateful single mum to use for her bill.</p> <p dir="ltr">Graham said he first started his random acts of kindness two years ago, after seeing an elderly couple struggle to pay for their lunch at a local sandwich shop.</p> <p dir="ltr">When he went back to the store two months later, one of the staff memebrs told him the couple had begun doing the same for others.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I thought to myself, ‘If I can do that and change the way people think, I think it’s a good thing’,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I care, and I can help, I do want to change people’s lives.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I just think life is so short, I just want to put it out there to believe we all are for other human beings.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Graham has given even more generous gifts to his friends, including a $100,000 truck for a friend’s birthday and eight of his own motorbikes, but he isn’t worried about his generosity being taken advantage of.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Friends don’t hang around me for that, because they knew me from when I had nothing,” Graham said.</p> <p dir="ltr">He said he started at the bottom of Mainfreight, the trucking company his father co-founded, pinching pennies with flatmates while working as a storeman.</p> <p dir="ltr">His life has been anything but uneventful either, having been married twice, been a solo father of five for eight years, and now living with his partner and in the process of building his very own man cave.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-05599472-7fff-a929-aec1-4e935c8fe6f3"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Dean Graham (Facebook)</em></p>

Caring

Community unites to help long-lost teddy find its way home

<p dir="ltr">A teddy bear, thought to be lost in the outback, has been reunited with his family after their appeal for help went viral online.</p> <p dir="ltr">Godron Wilson had been photographing his son’s ‘Pooh’ bear to keep the family entertained on their 5000-kilometre trip from Bowen, north Queensland, to Perth.</p> <p dir="ltr">But, while snapping a photo of the cute stuffed animal on a fence post along the Barrier Highway near Broken Hill, Mr Wilson was “distracted by flies” and drove off with the family - only to realise hours later that the teddy was more than 150km away.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though he decided against going back to retrieve it, he and his wife Lois took to social media to try and find the bear instead. </p> <p dir="ltr">They posted in several Broken Hill Facebook groups asking if someone had seen or picked up the bear, and what came next shocked them.</p> <p dir="ltr">Their appeals for help quickly spread all over the internet.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was actually quite amazed by the reaction and how many people were following the story,” Mr Wilson told the <em><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-05-12/lost-teddy-bear-reunited-with-family-after-being-lost-in-outback/101059032" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC</a></em>.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e7da5ae-7fff-487c-ffb3-afa4865dd844"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Grazier Mitch Rodgers became one of many interested in the story, and took matters into his own hands.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/05/bear2.jpg" alt="" width="862" height="575" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Mitch Rodgers found the bear and planned to send him home by mail - until he had a better idea. Image: Mitch Rodgers</em></p> <p dir="ltr">He drove out from Comarto Station near Wilcannia to find the bear - but that’s not where the story ends either.</p> <p dir="ltr">Initially planning to send the bear home by mail, Mr Rodgers and Mr Wilson thought the adventure should continue and decided to find more people who wanted to travel with the bear on its journey home.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Mitch went to great trouble and started to share the story on social media with some great photos,” Mr Wilson said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The story then took on a life of its own and if it wasn’t for Mitch it probably wouldn’t have got off the ground like it did.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Wilson said the story even gained fans in Scotland, where he has relatives.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-23951c11-7fff-81a8-5224-348f25c89157"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">He said Pooh travelled 150km to Broken Hill, then visited Silverton before heading south to Mildura, Victoria.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/05/bear1.jpg" alt="" width="862" height="575" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Mitch Rodgers with Pooh. Image: Mitch Rodgers</em></p> <p dir="ltr">“He then received a lift from a couple to Adelaide and from there flew to Perth,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’ll tell you what it took off pretty quick,” Mr Rodgers said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was just good to hear that people were getting a bit of joy out of it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ben Wilson, 24, has had the bear since he was a baby and is still stunned that so many people went to such great lengths to return the teddy.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I thought that was it, and I was never going to get him back,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’m grateful for Mitcch, the Broken Hill community along with anyone and everyone who was involved.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When asked if Pooh would be heading out for another adventure anytime soon, Ben said it was “unlikely”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He’ll be staying with me until I have my first child and then when he or she gets old enough, I’ll tell them the story of what happened here,” Ben said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Because it’s not something we’re going to forget anytime soon.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cdeb44a0-7fff-e63c-d7e2-f8f0c8cad160"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Gordon Wilson</em></p>

Caring

Buddhist monks travel from Sydney to Lismore with huge gift

<p dir="ltr">A group of Buddhist monks have donated $100,000 to people in Lismore affected by the recent floods - but simply donating the funds wasn’t enough.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-6e84c4ca-7fff-e22e-641d-0d9be2b0feac"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">The group of monks made the trip from Sydney to Lismore to deliver their cheque in person and posed with Steve Krieg, the Mayor of Lismore, to mark the moment.</p> <p><iframe style="overflow: hidden; border: initial none initial;" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FSteve4Lismore%2Fposts%2F167754238933364&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="475" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p dir="ltr">“A wonderful group of Vietnamese Buddhist monks from Sydney came to visit last Wednesday, March 30 with a cheque for the flood appeal,” Mr Krieg shared on Facebook.</p> <p dir="ltr">“They donated $100,000 dollars! Thank you so much for your generosity.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“You never know who you are going to meet and what absolute blessings that you will get,” Mr Krieg told the ABC. “We went up to the evacuation centre and they met with evacuees and gave them all a small cash donation as well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The group of monks aren’t the first to commit such an act of kindness either.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-ad23c232-7fff-02fe-9f47-7824abf59dec"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">A Sikh group from Melbourne made the trek to Lismore in early March with plenty of food to feed flood victims for eight days.</p> <p><iframe style="overflow: hidden; border: initial none initial;" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fsikhvolunteers.australia%2Fposts%2F5625818044113965&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="544" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p dir="ltr">“Volunteering is a part of Sikh culture. It gives us a higher purpose and meaning. It doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep for a few days, the feeling I get from helping others is pure peace and calmness,” Jaswinder Singh, one of the volunteers involved, told the ABC.</p> <p dir="ltr">Sikh Volunteers Australia shared plenty of updates about their good work, including details of where locals could find them, and words of thanks to the local volunteers and others who helped them - which were reciprocated by many, including MPs and the NSW Greens.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We cannot thank you enough for the incredible generosity, selfless (sic) and dedication to always help communities in crisis. The amount of compassion is unmeasurable. Thank you SVA,” the Greens NSW commented on one <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sikhvolunteers.australia/posts/5630966706932432" target="_blank" rel="noopener">post</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-be244890-7fff-afe5-a029-94059701313a"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Steve Krieg (Facebook)</em></p>

Domestic Travel

Random act of Kmart kindness found by teenager

<p>A Queensland teenager has shared a heartwarming story of how she found a hidden gift while shopping for Kmart candles.</p> <p>The girl's mum Katherine shared a picture to a Kmart decor Facebook page that showed a $20 note with a note attached that reads, "If you found this, it's yours."</p> <p>"Keep it as a reminder of your abundance! Money is energy and there's an infinite supply available."</p> <p>Katherine added in the post, "Whomever you are who shared your wealth to people, may God bless you and your family."</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/02/KMART-MONEY-NOTE.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p> <p>Kmart customers and social media users quickly noticed that the thoughtful gesture came from influencer Isabelle Grace, who shared a photo of her hiding the notes and cash on her Instagram story. </p> <p>The young mum told <a href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/the-unbelievable-story-behind-one-kmart-shoppers-20-cash-find-in-local-queensland-store-c-5701605" target="_blank" rel="noopener">7News</a> that she had placed the four $20 bills around the store with the intention of making someone's day a little brighter. </p> <p>"I did four, I wanted to do five and take out $100. But I needed $20 notes, so ended up getting out $80 so I could do four different notes," she said.</p> <p>"And I went around and hid them in different spots around Kmart and I kind of felt a little bit like a weirdo for some reason, but it was actually lots of fun."</p> <p>Katherine said her teenage daughter will keep the cash and "pay it forward" to pass on the kind gesture.</p> <p>The post on Facebook has racked up thousands of likes, with many commenting about the selfless act from the influencer. </p> <p>"I love random acts of kindness, the domino effect of it is truly so amazing and humbling," one person wrote.</p> <p>"That's a lovely gesture. Hope you found your abundance, I feel it doesn't have to always be money," another added.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook - Kmart Home Decor & Hacks / Instagram @Isabellegrace</em></p>

Family & Pets

Betty White’s touching act of kindness during Hurricane Katrina revealed

<p dir="ltr">Betty White has been remembered and celebrated as a hilarious comedian and brilliant actor, but also a wonderfully generous conversationist, philanthropist, and animal activist, since her<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/betty-white-s-final-words" target="_blank">passing on December 31 at the age of 99</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">Animals were one of the big loves of Betty’s life, with her writing on Instagram in April 2021 for National Pet Day, “I have been a pet lover all my life” underneath a photo of her with two of her dogs.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNi0EYGnn11/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNi0EYGnn11/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Betty White (@bettymwhite)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">But in addition to owning and caring for pets herself, she also dedicated a lot of time and money to advocating for important causes related to animal welfare and protection. One example was shared by Audubon Nature Institute following her death.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Institute tweeted, “We lost a conservationist, animal advocate, and friend. When the penguins & sea otters were evacuated to @MontereyAq for Hurricane Katrina, Betty White paid for the plane to relocate them. She did not ask for fanfare; she just wanted to help.” Attached was a photo of an employee releasing a penguin into the water.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">We lost a conservationist, animal advocate, and friend. When the penguins & sea otters were evacuated to <a href="https://twitter.com/MontereyAq?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@MontereyAq</a> for Hurricane Katrina, Betty White paid for the plane to relocate them. She did not ask for fanfare; she just wanted to help. ❤️ <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ThankYouForBeingAFriend?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ThankYouForBeingAFriend</a> <a href="https://t.co/NLneNetezz">pic.twitter.com/NLneNetezz</a></p> — Audubon Nature Institute (@AudubonNature) <a href="https://twitter.com/AudubonNature/status/1477087180816322562?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 1, 2022</a></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">A spokesperson for the organisation told<span> </span><em>PEOPLE,<span> </span></em>"After Hurricane Katrina, a private plane was chartered to relocate Audubon Aquarium's sea otters and penguins to Monterey Bay Aquarium. Audubon did not find out until after the trip that Betty White had paid for a portion of the trip."</p> <p dir="ltr">White was passionate about her animal advocacy work, telling the<span> </span><em>Wall Street Journal<span> </span></em>in 2012 that she was thrilled to be able to highlight issues affecting animals through her work with numerous organisations, including PAWS/LA and the Morris Animal Foundation.</p> <p dir="ltr">She also spoke about her own pets, including her beloved Golden Retriever Pontiac, who had a tracking implant that White helped fund the development of. She added, "But he's never very far from me. He doesn't go very far because wherever I am he is."</p> <p dir="ltr">Pontiac passed away in 2017, and White decided not to adopt more animals due to her advancing age.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Amanda Edwards/WireImage</em></p>

News

Alec Baldwin shares story of touching act of kindness from a stranger

<p dir="ltr">In a candid video shared on Instagram, Alec Baldwin spoke about a random act of kindness from a stranger that he experienced soon after the<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.com.au/news/news/alec-baldwin-allegedly-shot-and-killed-cinematographer" target="_blank">shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins</a><span> </span>on the set of the movie<span> </span><em>Rust<span> </span></em>in October 2021.</p> <p dir="ltr">Describing it as the “worst situation I’ve ever been involved with”, Baldwin went on to recall an encounter with a kind stranger he met in a cafe soon after the incident.</p> <p dir="ltr">"A young woman, a senior in high school or maybe she was in college, she walked by with a guy and she handed me a packet of Splenda and on the perimeter of the package, there was a modest amount of space to write on.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She wrote me a note on both sides of the package, and it was, 'So many people care about you,' or something… it really very kind and very thoughtful.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYNafHQrRnL/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYNafHQrRnL/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Alec Baldwin (@alecbaldwininsta)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Baldwin continued, "It was really so amazing that she handed me this Splenda packet. And I said, 'Oh thank you'. And she left. And I was sitting there and took it home, I was going to photograph it … and I lost it."</p> <p dir="ltr">He said he was “overwhelmed” by her kindness but lost the packet, soon becoming “obsessed” with finding it. "I searched for it yesterday, like you would search for your phone or your keys or your wallet. I was obsessed with finding it, I'm still obsessed with finding it, because I want to screenshot it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">He finished, "If you are the young woman that gave me the Splenda packet at John Pappas the other day, then send me a message here, because I was so grateful for it. It was so lovely. It meant so much to me… it meant a lot to me."</p> <p dir="ltr">The actor thanked his fans who have supported him since the tragedy, adding that he was hopeful that “the truth” would soon prevail. "This has been surely the worst situation I've ever been involved with and I'm very hopeful that the people in charge with investigating this whole thing get to the truth as soon as possible.</p> <p dir="ltr">“No one wants the truth more than I do."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

"Brilliant gesture": Secret Santa pays off local toy store lay-bys

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A kind gesture has eased the financial burden of Christmas for shoppers at a Townsville toy shop, in north-eastern Queensland, after a generous stranger paid their lay-by balances.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Natasha Vidler said she was “in disbelief and shock” when she was told over the phone that $170 had been paid off her toy bill at Townsville Toyworld.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I rang my husband and I was pretty much in tears, tears of happiness,” Ms Vidler </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-12-15/anonymous-secret-santa-pays-toy-store-layby-townsville/100698928" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">said</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We’re forever grateful. This time of year is a bit of a struggle for everybody, not only financially but mentally, emotionally.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though the toy store wouldn’t say what the gifts totalled, Ms Vidler said she was one of 20 customers who benefitted from the unknown woman’s kindness.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The mother-of-two has spent the last two weeks in hospital, and said the contribution would make this year’s Christmas that much more special for her family.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Now the kids are going to have an extra-special Christmas thanks to some total lovely stranger,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Another recipient, Mark Jones, had been paying off presents for his children and granddaughter and said he was “blown away” by the gesture.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I thought it was an absolutely brilliant gesture,” Mr Jones said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Townsville truck driver said he was being evicted from his rental crisis amid the city’s housing crisis, so every extra dollar made a difference.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s been a bit of a tough year, not just for me but for everybody,” he said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to forecasting from the National Retail Association (NRA), Australians are set to spend a record $20.5 billion in the 10 days leading up to Christmas. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But the spending comes at a particularly challenging time for many families, with chief executive of the Queensland Council of Social Services Aimee McVeigh saying that 250,000 children had one or both parents relying on income support.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“These parents are having to choose between paying rent, food, electricity and medical bills, never mind Christmas presents,” Ms McVeigh said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“While the unemployment rate might be lower than it was last year, there are more people than ever in Queensland who are relying on income support payments of just $45 a day.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In Queensland alone, NRA chief executive Dominique Lamb said people are expected to spend $3.9 billion over the next 10 days.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We’ve had our international borders closed, our domestic borders closed, people have been staying home and certainly saving their money,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There seems to be a push for joy after what’s been a really long 18 months.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

Money & Banking

Waitress SACKED after receiving $6000 tip

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After receiving a hefty tip of $USD 4400 ($NZD 6400), a US waitress has been fired after the restaurant she worked for demanded she share it with the rest of the staff.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ryan Brandt was one of two employees serving a party of more than 40 people at the Oven and Tap in Bentonville, Arkansas.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The pair received the tip through a “$100 Dinner Club” organised by Grant Wise, the owner of a local real estate company, where each person dining would contribute a $100 tip ($NZD 139).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wise, who came up with the idea during the COVID-19 pandemic, told </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.ksn.com/top-stories/arkansas-restaurant-employee-terminated-after-4400-tip/" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">KNWA</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> that he called the restaurant ahead of their booking to confirm that servers don’t share tips.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">He said the gesture was meant to be “an effort to bless the servers who waited on our party that night”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m so sorry to interrupt everyone’s dinner, this will only take 60 seconds,” Wise </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/human-interest/arkansas-waitress-who-was-tipped-4400-is-fired-after-oven-and-tap-restaurant-makes-devastating-demand--c-4924128" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">said</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in footage shared on Instagram.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CXRaJzdAsUi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CXRaJzdAsUi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Grant Wise (@likegrantwise)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We have a table full of absolutely amazing people from all over the country who have travelled here, and tonight we’re hosting a $US100 Dinner Club.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Everyone at this table has contributed or tipped $US100 for you and for the other waitress who unfortunately had to go home because she’s not feeling well.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“And then we put it out to our social media channels, and then we actually had a bit more money sent in, so we are tipping a total of $USD 4400 for you to split with the other girl who took care of us.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Brandt was visibly in tears after Wise’s announcement.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height:281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7846309/waitress.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/38d49e243e5746f8926c3ccd39761bed" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: @likegrantwise (Instagram)</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But, the huge act of kindness quickly went sour.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I was told that I was going to be giving my cash over to my shift manager, and I would be taking home 20 percent,” Brandt explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She said that sharing tips has never happened during the three-and-a-half years she has worked at the restaurant.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">With plans to use the funds to help pay off her student loans, Brandt said she was “devastated” after being told she would take home a fraction of the total amount.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wise said the intention of his tip wasn’t for it to be shared with those who didn’t serve his party. After asking the restaurant to return the tip, he gave Brandt the cash outside instead.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, Brandt said she was soon fired from her job and placed in a financially precarious situation.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It was devastating,” Brandt said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I borrowed a significant amount for student loans. Most of them were turned off because of the pandemic but they’re turning back on in January and that’s a harsh reality.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just a few days later, the Arkansas businessman discovered that Brandt had been fired for “violating” the restaurant’s rules.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m so saddened to hear that the girl we tipped the other night at our $100 Dinner Club has been fired from her job,” Wise later wrote on Instagram.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I don’t understand why this would happen to what seems like such a sweet and kind-hearted woman. Nevertheless, I’m committed to showing her that there are great people in the world that will do good when they can!”</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CXMODf2A2yW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CXMODf2A2yW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Grant Wise (@likegrantwise)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wise announced that he had set up a </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/Waitress-Fired-after-100-Dinner-Club?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">GoFundMe</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> for Brandt, telling followers: “I hope that we can help this girl stay on top, and not let something like this get her down.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Just two days after starting the fundraiser, Wise shut it down after it exceeded $USD 8700 ($NZD 12,800) in donations.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Thank you all so much for showing Ryan the love and support you have,” he wrote in an update. “We will be closing down the campaign since we’ve exceeded the goal here.</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wise also shared that Brandt had been offered a new job at another local restaurant, and began working there the night before.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: GoFundMe</span></em></p>

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"Brilliant gesture": Secret Santa pays off local toy store lay-bys

Waitress SACKED after receiving $6000 tip

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

Meet the revolutionary beauty brand who are keeping kindness in mind

Stranger’s “kind” act for a struggling single mum

“Thank you stranger”: Woolies shopper left stunned

"Just pure kindness": Richard E Grant's emotional gift after wife's death

"That's what it's all about": Bunnings worker praised for act of kindness

"A kind of meditative peace": Quiet hour shopping makes us wonder why our cities have to be so noisy

Russell to the rescue!

Small gestures are most important in relationships

Giving out flowers on TikTok: is this a ‘random act of kindness’ or just benevolent ageism?

The one-of-a-kind Jumbo Hotel is back in full flight!

Grocery do-gooder finally unmasked

Community unites to help long-lost teddy find its way home

Buddhist monks travel from Sydney to Lismore with huge gift

Random act of Kmart kindness found by teenager

Betty White’s touching act of kindness during Hurricane Katrina revealed

Alec Baldwin shares story of touching act of kindness from a stranger

"Brilliant gesture": Secret Santa pays off local toy store lay-bys

Waitress SACKED after receiving $6000 tip

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