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How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>“I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.”</p> <p>I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned.</p> <p>Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves.</p> <p>But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success.</p> <p>Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way.</p> <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <p><a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients.</p> <p><strong>1. Self-kindness</strong></p> <p>This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments.</p> <p>For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day.</p> <p><strong>2. Mindfulness</strong></p> <p>In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them.</p> <p>Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective.</p> <p><strong>3. Common humanity</strong></p> <p>Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human.</p> <p>For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone.</p> <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> <p>When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence.</p> <p>“So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked.</p> <p>Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health.</p> <p>Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions.</p> <p>It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>.</p> <h2>What does the science say?</h2> <p>Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress.</p> <p>Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up.</p> <p>So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential.</p> <p>However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope.</p> <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> <p>I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life.</p> <p>Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>.</p> <p>I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults.</p> <p>We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population.</p> <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> <p>You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises.</p> <p><strong>1. What would you say to a friend?</strong></p> <p>Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself?</p> <p>If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself.</p> <p><strong>2. Harness the power of touch</strong></p> <p>Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response.</p> <p>Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress.</p> <p><strong>3. What do I need right now?</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs.</p> <p>For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am.</p> <p>Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583"><em>Lydia Brown</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y &amp; Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Meet the revolutionary beauty brand who are keeping kindness in mind

<p dir="ltr">As the beauty market continues to be flooded with new products, new trends and new ingredients that claim to change your life, it's easy to get lost in the overwhelming choices. </p> <p dir="ltr">Due to all this noise, many beauty consumers are trying to unveil the honest truth about what is going into their makeup and skincare, as priorities are shifting to include multi-use products to simplify daily beauty routines. </p> <p dir="ltr">On top of this, the majority of consumers are looking to support businesses that have a key focus on sustainability. </p> <p dir="ltr">Enter: The KIND Collective. </p> <p dir="ltr">This proudly Australian owned and female-operated business is on a mission to add conscious driven, multi-purpose cosmetic products to everyone’s beauty repertoire without breaking the bank. </p> <p dir="ltr">This is why The KIND Collective makes products that are more than just pretty to wear, but contain nourishing, native ingredients that have been mindfully selected.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CnjI1cZMCDm/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CnjI1cZMCDm/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The KIND Collective are also cruelty-free, 100% vegan and are PETA accredited, helping customers indulge in guilt-free beauty. </p> <p dir="ltr">This revolutionary brand has also joined more than 500 B Corp Certified Australian and New Zealand businesses, with only 20 companies being certified in the skin, nail and hair space. </p> <p dir="ltr">This certification assessment measures a business’s ongoing impact on its workers, community and suppliers, while ensuring it is delivering its best for both customers and the environment. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrcJ1euShUa/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrcJ1euShUa/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Brand co-founder Lynda Chapman believes it is important for businesses to do their part both locally and internationally but looking at their social and environmental impact.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “Today consumers are demanding more from businesses and I think that is an amazing thing! We have always believed that a business has the power to create positive change… and we are so excited to be part of this global movement of businesses that are using their power to be a force of good.” </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci6s1HaMGc6/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci6s1HaMGc6/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The KIND Collective (@thekindcollectiveaustralia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">You can pick up all your makeup and skincare needs from The KIND Collective on their <a href="https://www.thekindcollectiveaustralia.com/collections/bundles">official website</a>, or in-store at <a href="https://www.priceline.com.au/brand/kind-cosmetics">Priceline</a>, <a href="https://www.bigw.com.au/health-beauty/makeup-cosmetics/c/6220?filter%5BbrandName%5D=Kind+Collective">Big W</a>, and select <a href="https://terrywhitechemmart.com.au/">Terry White</a> chemists. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Stranger’s “kind” act for a struggling single mum

<p dir="ltr">A struggling single mother has been moved to tears by a stranger’s random act of kindness while doing her grocery shopping. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mother, hailing from Ipswich in Queensland, was doing her shopping ahead of the school term starting up as she paced the aisles mentally tallying the cost of her groceries to not go over her strict budget. </p> <p dir="ltr">As she continued to add carefully selected items to her trolley, a young girl approached her with a gift. </p> <p dir="ltr">The girl handed her a $50 note saying it was a gift from her mother, in a random act of kindness that left her “shaking and crying”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had the most incredible thing happen to me today. I'm in Woolies Riverlink in Ipswich QLD getting a few things for back to school and I'm adding my shopping up on my calculator and checking the price of EVERYTHING,” the mum wrote in a Facebook post. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Next, a lovely little girl came up to me handing me a $50 and said 'My mummy wants to give you a gift', I said 'Thank you, have the wrong person, honey'.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The young girl assured the woman she was the person her mum wanted to give the $50 to and ran off before she could say anything else.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I looked up at her mum shaking and in tears and she gave me a nod and a thumbs up,” the woman said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She had no idea just how much I needed this right now. Her kindness meant the world to me.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Many applauded the stranger’s generosity as more families are feeling the pressure with sky-rocketing costs of living, with like-minded budgeting mothers sharing how they were touched by the sweet story. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Made me cry this lovely Sunday morning. Always gives hope to know there are some really wonderful people out there,” one person said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some truly wonderful people in the world! You don't have to give someone $50 to make their day - any small kind gesture can change the course of someone's life,” a second agreed.</p> <p dir="ltr">“There are some absolute angels out there for sure!” said another. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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"Just pure kindness": Richard E Grant's emotional gift after wife's death

<p>Richard E Grant has shared the story of an incredibly thoughtful gift from his neighbour. </p> <p>The English actor said he was "undone" by his neighbour's gift, which was a heart-warming reminder of his late wife. </p> <p>Grant, 65, lost his wife, dialect coach Joan Washington, to lung cancer in September 2021.</p> <p>The actor shared an emotional video about the gift and how much it meant to him while he is continuing to grieve his loss. </p> <p>“I returned to the Cotswolds today for the weekend and the kind of violence in the silence as you long to hear the person that you can never hear again,” he began, looking visibly emotional.</p> <p>“What has completely floored me is to find that my incredibly generous neighbour Jules Bowsher has gifted me a comfort blanket, or a lap quilt as she calls it."</p> <p>“She has hand embroidered it over months, with all of my wife’s favourite poetry."</p> <p>“All of the names of the actors and coaches she worked with over the decades, films and stage plays that she coached on."</p> <p>“All the expressions that were common to our 38-year-long marriage.”</p> <p>The actor continued, “It includes little 3D pockets of happiness with keepsakes and trinkets, all referencing our long marriage.”</p> <p>“The amount of time she has taken to do this, it’s beyond measure as the kindness of friendship has undone me in the greatest spirit of Christmas as possible,” Grant said.</p> <p>“How can two little words, ‘Thank you,’ begin to adequately convey the enormity of what she has given me?</p> <p>“We’re not related. We’re not family or anything like that. Just pure kindness.”</p> <p>He finished by saying, “Thank you Jules. You’ve made a grown man cry with gratitude.”</p> <p>Fans flocked to comment on what a kind gift it was, sharing their admiration for the actor's thoughtful neighbour. </p> <p>“The hours that lovely lady must have spent, but to see how well received it has been, must give her pleasure too,” one follower wrote.</p> <div> <p>“What a kind lady,” wrote another.</p> <p>“I have lost my only son, and the kindness of people has blown me away; the world can be a hard place to be sometimes, but kindness truly takes over everything else, for sure.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p> </div>

Caring

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"That's what it's all about": Bunnings worker praised for act of kindness

<p>A Bunnings worker has been praised after his wholesome interaction with an elderly customer went viral. </p> <p>The employee, who at the time was on shift at Rothwell Bunnings in Queensland’s Moreton Bay Region, was applauded for his kind act as he helped a woman back to her car. </p> <p>He was spotted slowly guiding an elderly woman across the road while having a “lovely conversation”.</p> <p>The sweet moment was later shared to social media where it has since attracted a huge reaction.</p> <p>“I wanted to share a photo that makes my heart sing,” the woman behind the post to Facebook wrote. </p> <p>“A worker from Bunnings at Rothwell accompanying an older lady to her car. They were having a lovely conversation and he didn’t seem to mind that it took her a bit longer.”</p> <p>She went on to praise the worker on his patience and kindness, and called for his employer to share their recognition of the young man. </p> <p>“Well done to this young man for his kindness and compassion, he should be very proud of the person that he is.</p> <p>“I would also like to say to Bunnings Warehouse Australia that this staff member’s a superstar and should be acknowledged because his humanity and kindness also reflects well on Bunnings.”</p> <p>Dozens of people flocked to the comments to agree with the post, singing their praises for the young worker. </p> <p>“It’s great to see employees going out of their way to help their customers. Bunnings is one company where this is not a rarity. Well done to the employee, it warms the heart to see this happening nowadays,” one comment read. </p> <p>“He is amazing. I hope Bunnings realise how valuable he is,” someone else wrote. </p> <p>“Well done, what a caring young man. I hope you have a lot of happiness in your life. You deserve only the best,” a third wrote. </p> <p>Others agreed gestures of this nature made a significant difference in the community. </p> <p>“And that’s what it’s all about, helping elderly people in the community. It all makes a difference to them and they appreciate it very much,” one remarked.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook</em></p>

Caring

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"A kind of meditative peace": Quiet hour shopping makes us wonder why our cities have to be so noisy

<p>The idea behind “quiet hour” shopping is to set aside a time each week for a retail experience that minimises noise and other sources of sensory overload. It is aimed at people who are <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/10/explainer-neurodivergence-mental-health/">neurodivergent</a> – an umbrella term for people with autism, ADHD and other sensory-processing conditions. </p> <p>What began as a boutique or specialist retail strategy has become more mainstream. Major <a href="https://www.coles.com.au/about-coles/community/accessibility/quiet-hour">supermarket</a> <a href="https://www.woolworthsgroup.com.au/au/en/media/news-archive/2019/woolworths-rolls-out-quiet-hour-to-select-stores-across-australia.html">chains</a> and <a href="https://insideretail.com.au/news/westfield-tuggerah-introduces-quiet-hour-for-people-with-dementia-autism-201907">shopping centres</a> in Australia and overseas have introduced it in recent years.</p> <p>In newly published <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/07255136221133188">research</a> we explored quiet hour as an aspect of the impacts of sound on how people experience city life. As expected, we found it did benefit people who are neurodivergent. But other people also welcomed the relief from sensory overload once they’d overcome the feeling of having wandered into an eerily quiet “post-apocalyptic scene”. </p> <p>Our work has made us question the acceptance of urban noise and light as being part and parcel of a vibrant city.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">As families around Australia prepare for Santa’s arrival Coles and Woolworths supermarkets become a centre of activity.<br />Both stores offer ‘Quiet Hour’ on Tuesday for a low sensory shopping experience.<br />Coles hours: <a href="https://t.co/jZV0f5bGwm">https://t.co/jZV0f5bGwm</a> <br />Woolworths hours: <a href="https://t.co/X5iMm05cOr">https://t.co/X5iMm05cOr</a> <a href="https://t.co/R5CyXcB9R3">pic.twitter.com/R5CyXcB9R3</a></p> <p>— NDIS (@NDIS) <a href="https://twitter.com/NDIS/status/1458706093492817923?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 11, 2021</a></p></blockquote> <h2>What does quiet hour involve?</h2> <p>Quiet hour is intended to make retail spaces more inclusive or sensory-friendly. Its features include retailers or mall managers agreeing to: </p> <ul> <li> <p>switch automatic doors to open</p> </li> <li> <p>pause collection of trolleys</p> </li> <li> <p>turn off the PA and music</p> </li> <li> <p>fix flickering lights and turn off as much lighting as practicable</p> </li> <li> <p>remove scented reeds and pause automatic scent dispensers</p> </li> <li> <p>switch off hand dryers </p> </li> <li> <p>turn down the volume on checkout scanners.</p> </li> </ul> <p>One of the tools we used for mapping quiet hour was a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/07255136221133188">thematic analysis</a> of reports about it in Australian print media from 2017 to 2019. We found the following themes: </p> <ul> <li> <p>an emphasis on the kinds of discomforts associated with retail environments</p> </li> <li> <p>the importance of providing a “low-sensory environment” as a form of inclusion</p> </li> <li> <p>while lighting was often mentioned, the main recurring theme was the reduction of sound. </p> </li> </ul> <h2>Why does reducing sound matter?</h2> <p>Sound and sensory hypersensitivity are important themes in neurodivergent people’s accounts of how they struggle with everyday experiences others take for granted. </p> <p>Leading autism researcher and advocate Sandra Thom-Jones <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/growing-in-to-autism-paperback-softback">writes</a> that neurodivergents’ sensitivity to sound is complex. It’s affected by “what the sound actually is, how loud it is, whether I am expecting it, and whether I can control it”.</p> <p>People might assume everyone has the ability to <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780203033142-4/radio-texture-self-others1-jo-tacchi">frame which sounds are important</a> and which are “irrelevant to what we are listening to or doing”. However, the ability to single out sound sources and block out background noise is a major point of differentiation between neurotypicals and neurodivergents.</p> <p>Thom-Jones, who received her autism diagnosis at age 52, <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/growing-in-to-autism-paperback-softback">reports</a> that when she is “in an environment with multiple sounds” she tends to “hear all of them”.</p> <p>Thus, when she is catching up with a friend in a café, she may be “listening intently” to what her friend is saying but she will also be “hearing the piped music, the people talking at the next table, cars driving past, the coffee machine”. </p> <h2>Others welcome quiet hour too</h2> <p>Given how neurodivergents process sound, quiet hour is likely to increase their sense of comfort in retail spaces. </p> <p>However, quiet hour also suspends or – to use a term coined by <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/Frame_Analysis/XBpmAAAAIAAJ?hl=en">Erving Goffman</a> – “rekeys” the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/symb.506">sensory frames</a> of all shoppers. A quiet hour could benefit lots of people who may not have a specific condition but simply prefer a quieter retail environment.</p> <p>We found this is an under-researched area, but did find anecdotal accounts to suggest this. Take the <a href="https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/12-07-2020/the-quiet-hours-in-praise-of-supermarket-serenity">case</a> of New Zealand actress and author Michelle Langstone. </p> <p>She reports visiting stores across Auckland and Rotorua that offer quiet-hour shopping. She stumbled upon it by “sheer luck”. At first, she admits, it felt “a bit like a post-apocalyptic scene”.</p> <p>Once she adjusted to the unfamiliar sensory environment, she felt herself succumbing to changed supermarket routines, “I cruised every single [aisle], taking in the quiet for nearly 45 minutes, at the end of which I felt a kind of meditative peace come over me.” </p> <p>Langstone also <a href="https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/12-07-2020/the-quiet-hours-in-praise-of-supermarket-serenity">reports</a> avoiding impulse buying. That first time she left with “only [the] bread and eggs” she had gone to the shop for. She was able to focus on shopping rather than “multi-tasking”, and quiet hour left her with a “feeling of goodwill towards all shoppers”. </p> <p>In other words, even if the strategy is about levelling the sensory playing field for neurodivergents, it seems to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/soin.12232">change the shopping experience</a> for other people too.</p> <h2>Why the bias towards the noisy city?</h2> <p>As researchers interested in sound and space, quiet hour made us reflect on how we think about these issues and our attitudes to noise. It made us question, for example, why one of the most cited texts in our field is entitled <a href="https://www.upress.umn.edu/book-division/books/noise">Noise: The Political Economy of Music</a>?</p> <p>Studies of silence or quietude are rare in urban or spatial studies. One has to turn to fields such as the study of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1466138109339041">meditation practices</a> or the silence associated with <a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-au/A+History+of+Silence:+From+the+Renaissance+to+the+Present+Day-p-9781509517350">nature or sacred spaces</a> to find positive accounts of reduced noise.</p> <p>This needs correcting. Sound intensity matters if cities, buildings or public spaces are to foster hospitality and “<a href="https://www.metrolab.brussels/publications/the-qualities-of-hospitality-and-the-concept-of-inclusive-city">support people in their activities by facilitating their stay</a>”. </p> <p>What quiet hour teaches us is that an inclusive or welcoming city is a city that “<a href="https://www.wiley.com/en-us/Resonance%3A+A+Sociology+of+Our+Relationship+to+the+World-p-9781509519927">resonates</a>” with different kinds of minds, bodies and styles of sensory processing. </p> <p>Quiet hour might therefore be both an inclusion strategy and an experiment that forces us to think more deeply about our cities and how they sound.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-kind-of-meditative-peace-quiet-hour-shopping-makes-us-wonder-why-our-cities-have-to-be-so-noisy-193461" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Travel Tips

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Giving out flowers on TikTok: is this a ‘random act of kindness’ or just benevolent ageism?

<p>In June, 22-year-old Harrison Pawluk filmed himself staging a “random act of kindness”, giving a bunch of flowers to an older woman sitting alone in a Melbourne food court.</p> <p>His <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@lifeofharrison/video/7111321730773175553?lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">video</a> went viral on TikTok, attracting 57 million views within a week.</p> <p>Comments on the post included, “when she started crying, I couldn’t hold it back” and “wow that was so beautiful I swear I would cry”.</p> <p>Acts of kindness can boost <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103117303451" target="_blank" rel="noopener">wellbeing</a> for the giver, the recipient, and even the viewers of selfless acts. Social media influencers have found ways to commodify this by presenting them as random and unexpected.</p> <div data-id="17"> </div> <p>But this gesture was interpreted by Maree, the woman targeted for the video, as an artificially staged production that left her feeling “<a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-07-14/tiktok-video-maree-melbourne-flowers/101228418" target="_blank" rel="noopener">dehumanised</a>” and like “clickbait” for tabloid fodder.</p> <p>In the media, individuals aged over 60 are often depicted as a homogeneous group of elderly people who lack personality, social identity or individuality.</p> <p>It’s not just a “random act of kindness”. Pawluk’s actions – and some of the media coverage – unearths a much bigger problem of “benevolent ageism”.</p> <h2>What is benevolent ageism?</h2> <p>When we talk about ageism, people often think of overt acts such as older people being explicitly told they are dressed “<a href="https://au.finance.yahoo.com/news/louise-di-francesco-ageism-at-work-200031282.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">inappropriately</a>” for their age, or an employer refusing to hire someone for a job because of their age.</p> <p>But not all ageism is overt. “<a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2793359" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Everyday ageism</a>” is a more subtle yet pervasive component that informs our impressions of older people. This could be assumptions about what older people’s preferences are because of their age group, or that by a certain age most people should be “slowing down”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism is where these every day biases manifest in the belief that older people need special “help” or “support”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism manifests in the way people sometimes use pet names or <a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/ageism#ageism-in-healthcare" target="_blank" rel="noopener">baby talk</a> to address older people; an emphasis on <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1540-4560.2005.00405.x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">pitying</a> people above a certain age; or the importance placed on “<a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.587911/full" target="_blank" rel="noopener">protecting</a>” older people during the COVID pandemic.</p> <p>Commenters on Pawluk’s video said “[the flowers] made her feel so good and it looks like she might have needed it”, “she is so cute” and “I miss my grandma!”.</p> <p>Benevolent ageism leads to false assumptions or inaccurate and limiting stereotypes about older people being “warm but not competent” and lacking individuality.</p> <p>In Pawluk’s video, Maree is framed as being sad and alone. Speaking to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-07-14/tiktok-video-maree-melbourne-flowers/101228418" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC Radio</a>, Maree expressed frustration at being presented as “the elderly woman who drank a takeaway cup of coffee”.</p> <p>“It’s the patronising assumption that women, especially older women, will be thrilled by some random stranger giving them flowers,” she told the ABC.</p> <h2>Our implicit biases</h2> <p>Benevolent ageism is hiding in plain sight.</p> <p>Our own ageist biases can show up in everyday judgements we make about people’s capacity to work, how they dress or whether they are in need of assistance or attention because of their age.</p> <p>Ageist characterisations are culturally reinforced by media portrayals, and have the effect of categorising “older people” – <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/josi.12162" target="_blank" rel="noopener">particularly women</a> – as being lonely and in need of pity.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/18-03-2021-ageism-is-a-global-challenge-un" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recent report</a> from the World Health Organization shows one in every two people shows moderate to high levels of ageist attitudes, with their definition of ageism encompassing stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself based on age.</p> <p>The Australian Human Rights Commission found that <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/about/news/new-research-finds-ageism-most-accepted-form-prejudice-australia-0" target="_blank" rel="noopener">90% of Australians</a> agree that ageism exists in Australia.</p> <p>Age discrimination commissioner Kay Patterson calls ageism “the least understood form of discriminatory prejudice” and “more pervasive and socially accepted than sexism and racism”.</p> <p>Internalised ageism, in which we unconsciously hold these own ageist attitudes against ourselves, negatively impacts our functional health as we age and can even <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S009174350400115X" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shorten our own lifespan</a>.</p> <h2>Stereotypes facing older women</h2> <p>These TikTok random acts of kindness can have the unfortunate overtone of the <a href="https://www.britishgerontology.org/content/22875/Live/pdf/Generations_Review%2025%202%20July%202015.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">twin prejudices</a> of ageism and sexism. Older women targeted in this way can be left feeling like their identity is reduced to being just an older lady in need of pity.</p> <p>When interviewed by The Project, Pawluk <a href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/current-affairs/aussie-tiktok-star-sorry-but-wont-stop-controversial-acts-of-kindness/news-story/347c18457d80a961e27c6b31f42b2507" target="_blank" rel="noopener">apologised</a> to Maree. He claims he does not target people based on their age.</p> <p>But the assumptions made about Maree – and other women to whom he has offered flowers – are embedded in age-old stereotypes about older women: that they are sad or lonely, and in need of support.</p> <p>There is nothing wrong with greeting another person regardless of their age. But the framing of this TikTok video is a clear example of ageist stereotypes manifesting as a show of concern.</p> <p>Much of the news reporting and comments surrounding the event were also examples of everyday ageism. The Daily Mail <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10967869/Melbourne-TikToker-Harrison-Pawluk-gives-woman-bunch-flowers.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">described the video</a> as a “heartwarming moment [where] a total stranger gives an elderly woman a bunch of flowers before she bursts into tears”.</p> <p>Although likely not the initial intention of the gesture, this social media craze of capturing supposed “random acts of kindness” can have the undesired effect of diminishing the perceived social value of the target to whom the protagonist is trying to show kindness.</p> <p>We should take this as a moment to pause and address our own unconscious biases and our subtle forms of everyday ageism of the benevolent kind.</p> <p><em><strong>This article originally appeared on The Conversation.</strong></em></p> <p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p>

Retirement Life

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The one-of-a-kind Jumbo Hotel is back in full flight!

<p>Easily mistaken for a regular aircraft, the Jumbo Stay Hotel plane is a jet that has been refurbished and turned into a hotel! Ordinarily it’s not something many people know about unless you have flown in or out of Sweden’s Arlanda Airport, which is home to the unique digs.</p> <p>While the Jumbo Stay Hotel plane has been around for many years (and no, it doesn't fly anymore), a video revealing what it looks like on the inside has now gone viral on TikTok.</p> <blockquote class="tiktok-embed" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@thepointsguy/video/7116918197525187883" data-video-id="7116918197525187883"> <section><a title="@thepointsguy" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thepointsguy" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@thepointsguy</a> Would you spend a night at the Jumbo Stay Hotel? <a title="aviation" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/aviation" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#aviation</a> <a title="airport" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/airport" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#airport</a> <a title="hotel" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/hotel" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#hotel</a> <a title="♬ WHERE I WANNA BE - Archie Thompson" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/WHERE-I-WANNA-BE-6768743855144568833" target="_blank" rel="noopener">♬ WHERE I WANNA BE - Archie Thompson</a></section> </blockquote> <p>“This is the one plane you will never have any troubles sleeping on,” The Points Guy said in a clip of the plane.</p> <p>The Boeing 747 is parked just outside the Stockholm airport and was initially built for Singapore Airlines back in 1976.</p> <p>Back in 2006, more than $US3 million was spent on transforming the jet into a hotel allowing people to live out their dream and sleep in the cockpit, with almost every part of the aircraft turned into accommodation.</p> <p>“For starters, you can walk right out onto the wings of the aircraft with tables and chairs set up to enjoy a drink or a snack,” a team member of the US travel blog continued.</p> <p>“You can eat breakfast in the nose of the aircraft and enjoy a buffet in the retro dining space while reading all about the history of the 747.”</p> <p>He said upstairs you will find one of the most unique aspects of the accommodation. “The cockpit suite complete with a queen-size bed and the 747’s original flight controls.</p> <p>“While the cockpit seats have been removed to maximise sleeping space, you can still sit on the edge of the mattress and live out your pilot fantasy like we did.”</p> <p>The Jumbo Stay Hotel was out of action for a while due to the pandemic, but it’s now up and running again with prices starting from around $60 per night – up to $255 per night for the cockpit ensuite. </p> <p><em>Image: TikTok</em></p>

Real Estate

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Random act of Kmart kindness found by teenager

<p>A Queensland teenager has shared a heartwarming story of how she found a hidden gift while shopping for Kmart candles.</p> <p>The girl's mum Katherine shared a picture to a Kmart decor Facebook page that showed a $20 note with a note attached that reads, "If you found this, it's yours."</p> <p>"Keep it as a reminder of your abundance! Money is energy and there's an infinite supply available."</p> <p>Katherine added in the post, "Whomever you are who shared your wealth to people, may God bless you and your family."</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/02/KMART-MONEY-NOTE.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p> <p>Kmart customers and social media users quickly noticed that the thoughtful gesture came from influencer Isabelle Grace, who shared a photo of her hiding the notes and cash on her Instagram story. </p> <p>The young mum told <a href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/the-unbelievable-story-behind-one-kmart-shoppers-20-cash-find-in-local-queensland-store-c-5701605" target="_blank" rel="noopener">7News</a> that she had placed the four $20 bills around the store with the intention of making someone's day a little brighter. </p> <p>"I did four, I wanted to do five and take out $100. But I needed $20 notes, so ended up getting out $80 so I could do four different notes," she said.</p> <p>"And I went around and hid them in different spots around Kmart and I kind of felt a little bit like a weirdo for some reason, but it was actually lots of fun."</p> <p>Katherine said her teenage daughter will keep the cash and "pay it forward" to pass on the kind gesture.</p> <p>The post on Facebook has racked up thousands of likes, with many commenting about the selfless act from the influencer. </p> <p>"I love random acts of kindness, the domino effect of it is truly so amazing and humbling," one person wrote.</p> <p>"That's a lovely gesture. Hope you found your abundance, I feel it doesn't have to always be money," another added.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook - Kmart Home Decor &amp; Hacks / Instagram @Isabellegrace</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Betty White’s touching act of kindness during Hurricane Katrina revealed

<p dir="ltr">Betty White has been remembered and celebrated as a hilarious comedian and brilliant actor, but also a wonderfully generous conversationist, philanthropist, and animal activist, since her<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/betty-white-s-final-words" target="_blank">passing on December 31 at the age of 99</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">Animals were one of the big loves of Betty’s life, with her writing on Instagram in April 2021 for National Pet Day, “I have been a pet lover all my life” underneath a photo of her with two of her dogs.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNi0EYGnn11/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNi0EYGnn11/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Betty White (@bettymwhite)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">But in addition to owning and caring for pets herself, she also dedicated a lot of time and money to advocating for important causes related to animal welfare and protection. One example was shared by Audubon Nature Institute following her death.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Institute tweeted, “We lost a conservationist, animal advocate, and friend. When the penguins &amp; sea otters were evacuated to @MontereyAq for Hurricane Katrina, Betty White paid for the plane to relocate them. She did not ask for fanfare; she just wanted to help.” Attached was a photo of an employee releasing a penguin into the water.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">We lost a conservationist, animal advocate, and friend. When the penguins &amp; sea otters were evacuated to <a href="https://twitter.com/MontereyAq?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@MontereyAq</a> for Hurricane Katrina, Betty White paid for the plane to relocate them. She did not ask for fanfare; she just wanted to help. ❤️ <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ThankYouForBeingAFriend?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ThankYouForBeingAFriend</a> <a href="https://t.co/NLneNetezz">pic.twitter.com/NLneNetezz</a></p> — Audubon Nature Institute (@AudubonNature) <a href="https://twitter.com/AudubonNature/status/1477087180816322562?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 1, 2022</a></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">A spokesperson for the organisation told<span> </span><em>PEOPLE,<span> </span></em>"After Hurricane Katrina, a private plane was chartered to relocate Audubon Aquarium's sea otters and penguins to Monterey Bay Aquarium. Audubon did not find out until after the trip that Betty White had paid for a portion of the trip."</p> <p dir="ltr">White was passionate about her animal advocacy work, telling the<span> </span><em>Wall Street Journal<span> </span></em>in 2012 that she was thrilled to be able to highlight issues affecting animals through her work with numerous organisations, including PAWS/LA and the Morris Animal Foundation.</p> <p dir="ltr">She also spoke about her own pets, including her beloved Golden Retriever Pontiac, who had a tracking implant that White helped fund the development of. She added, "But he's never very far from me. He doesn't go very far because wherever I am he is."</p> <p dir="ltr">Pontiac passed away in 2017, and White decided not to adopt more animals due to her advancing age.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Amanda Edwards/WireImage</em></p>

News

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Alec Baldwin shares story of touching act of kindness from a stranger

<p dir="ltr">In a candid video shared on Instagram, Alec Baldwin spoke about a random act of kindness from a stranger that he experienced soon after the<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://oversixty.com.au/news/news/alec-baldwin-allegedly-shot-and-killed-cinematographer" target="_blank">shooting death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins</a><span> </span>on the set of the movie<span> </span><em>Rust<span> </span></em>in October 2021.</p> <p dir="ltr">Describing it as the “worst situation I’ve ever been involved with”, Baldwin went on to recall an encounter with a kind stranger he met in a cafe soon after the incident.</p> <p dir="ltr">"A young woman, a senior in high school or maybe she was in college, she walked by with a guy and she handed me a packet of Splenda and on the perimeter of the package, there was a modest amount of space to write on.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She wrote me a note on both sides of the package, and it was, 'So many people care about you,' or something… it really very kind and very thoughtful.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYNafHQrRnL/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/CYNafHQrRnL/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Alec Baldwin (@alecbaldwininsta)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Baldwin continued, "It was really so amazing that she handed me this Splenda packet. And I said, 'Oh thank you'. And she left. And I was sitting there and took it home, I was going to photograph it … and I lost it."</p> <p dir="ltr">He said he was “overwhelmed” by her kindness but lost the packet, soon becoming “obsessed” with finding it. "I searched for it yesterday, like you would search for your phone or your keys or your wallet. I was obsessed with finding it, I'm still obsessed with finding it, because I want to screenshot it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">He finished, "If you are the young woman that gave me the Splenda packet at John Pappas the other day, then send me a message here, because I was so grateful for it. It was so lovely. It meant so much to me… it meant a lot to me."</p> <p dir="ltr">The actor thanked his fans who have supported him since the tragedy, adding that he was hopeful that “the truth” would soon prevail. "This has been surely the worst situation I've ever been involved with and I'm very hopeful that the people in charge with investigating this whole thing get to the truth as soon as possible.</p> <p dir="ltr">“No one wants the truth more than I do."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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Be a Richard, not a Karen: Kind note touches grieving mum

<p>A grieving mother has shared a note she received from a kind stranger on a plane after her daughter had a mid-flight tantrum. </p> <p>Lindsay took to TikTok to explain her difficult situation, and the understanding passenger who helped her. </p> <p><span>"This weekend, we took our first flight since the loss of our two-year-old daughter."</span></p> <p><span>"Our oldest is very outward with her grief and we found ourselves afraid of the unkind world who might not be gentle with us."</span></p> <p><span>"She had a tantrum mid-flight and we braced ourselves for angry looks but got this instead."</span></p> <p><span>The note Lindsay received from the stranger read, </span>"My name is Richard. I have four kids and I can tell you guys are great parents."</p> <p><span>"Patient and kind, the world needs that. Just wanted to say that. God Bless."</span></p> <p><span>The </span>emotional mother captioned the video, <span>"Be a Richard in a world of Karens."</span></p> <p><span>Lindsay posted a follow-up video explaining that her daughter Luna fought a difficult battle over several months with blood cancer, after passing away this July. </span></p> <p><span>Their older daughter, two-year-old Olive, was Luna's bone marrow donor.</span></p> <p><em>Image credit: TikTok</em></p>

International Travel

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Mystery couple's unbelievable act of Christmas kindness

<p><em>Image: Google Maps </em></p> <p>An elderly Victorian couple have performed an incredible act of kindness for 82 strangers after a difficult year in their regional community.</p> <p>On Wednesday, the pair walked into a Toyworld store in Bendigo, 150km northwest of Melbourne.</p> <p>Once at the store, the couple told manager Debra they wanted to change some lives.</p> <p>They then paid off 82 lay-buys in full for complete strangers.</p> <p>“These two beautiful people just wanted to change some people’s lives and it was their time to be able to give back,” Debra told Neil Mitchell on 3AW.</p> <p>Debra said she then had the amazing job of calling the customers to tell them their lay-buys had been paid in full.</p> <p>“There was a beautiful gentleman I spoke to that had twin boys who have a birthday next week and had $5 in the bank. We had goosebumps.”</p> <p>Debra would not reveal how much the couple donated, but said it was incredibly generous.</p> <p>She explained they both grew up with financial struggles, especially around the Christmas period.</p> <p>Debra said the pair did live locally and were regular customers at the Toyworld store</p>

Caring

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Why kindness through a divorce is so important

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The general public perception of divorce is hatred, animosity, resentment and bitterness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Difficult separation proceedings can often negatively impact the outcomes of the separation, as well as individuals health and wellbeing.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, there are more peaceful ways to amicably end a relationship and go your separate ways as equals. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Family lawyer, mediator and divorce guide </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty Salvestro has had experience with divorced couples since her parents separated when she was a child. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"></span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty says the key to recalibrating how we think of divorce is kindness. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She says, “We really need to focus on resolving the pain and hurt, to focus on good behaviour, strong morals, and kind actions. It is hard, but we can do it.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While this can often be a challenge when separating from someone, there are steps to help achieve this amicable divorce. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty believes that step one is redefining the cause of the separation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Divorce should be seen as the acceptance and acknowledgment of a shared problem that needs to be solved. We need not immediately declare war to resolve that problem, what we need to do is work together to create the best solution.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She says that the most important thing is treating your partner with kindness, without feeling the need to be overflowing with love and affection. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This means choosing a kind and calm response rather than a hurtful and inflammatory one. The kindest response may be to do nothing at all.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty also believes in the importance of not taking any drastic actions that could exacerbate an already fragile situation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Instead, partners need to be understanding of each other’s individual needs and allow each other their space during this difficult time. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There is also an important need for a dedicated support system during a separation, to help both parties reach a resolution. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are studies that show how showing kindness and selflessness can enrich your life and the life of those around you, which can be a valuable tool in a separation. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kirsty Salvestro’s book </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">What Are We Fighting For? A Peaceful Pathway for Separating Couples</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> is available now. </span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credit: Shutterstock</span></em></p>

Money & Banking

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Modern Family star saves fainting hiker

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Julie Bowen, best known for playing Claire Dunphy on </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Modern Family</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, recently performed an act of kindness for a stranger in need on a hiking trail in Utah.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">First reported by </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://abc7ny.com/julie-bowen-hiker-rescued-modern-family/10936019/" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">ABC 7 New York</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">, the act occurred while Minnie John was vacationing with her family at Arches National Park, Utah.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While hiking to the top of the peak, Minnie began to feel weak and told her husband and son to continue hiking while she sat on a rock and took a break.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The last thing she remembered was holding her head in her hands. The next moment, she was being taken care of by two women.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Minnie had fainted and hit her nose on a rock when she was found by Bowen and her sister, Annie.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Minnie shared the story of her encounter with the Bowens, as well as photos.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“All I remember is sitting there with my head in my hands secure on the rock,” Minnie recounted in the post.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Next thing I hear someone with a familiar voice asking me questions. I wondered if I might be watching tv. My eyes were closed and they said I would be fine and they were cleaning my face and bandaging me up.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After the pair treated her, Minnie opened her eyes and recognised the TV star but couldn’t remember where from.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7842969/230822295_2204747043034198_6424726426102033598_n.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/00458724305944d6b9b5704cb8bdd7bc" /><img style="width: 374.99999999999994px; height: 500px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7842969/230822295_2204747043034198_6424726426102033598_n.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/00458724305944d6b9b5704cb8bdd7bc" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Minnie John / Facebook</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I asked her again if I knew her or was she famous and the doctor said yes. As my eyes started to focus more, she smiled and took her tie off and shook her hair for me to figure out,” Minnie continued.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Her sister, the doctor, asked me to guess and I told her I just hit my head, I can’t remember. She said smiling ‘Modern Family’ and I said of course!”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Bowens then explained that the guide who was with them had seen Minnie fall, before coming over to help.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7842970/226947853_2204747136367522_5436819053605672562_n.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/6325da2937a0417ebabc332d39382be8" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Minnie John / Facebook</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The pair then called Minnie’s husband, while other hikers ran ahead to find her family.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After realising she had fainted due to low blood sugar, Minnie described the sisters as “God sent”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I told my Samaritans that I was so proud of what I had achieved climbing to the top,” Minnie wrote.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Had I known it was so treacherous, I would not have done it, but I was so proud I reached the top and got to meet my good Samaritans God sent for me at the right moment.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Love you Julie and Annie and now I have become famous for one minute for my antics!”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Images: Minnie John / Facebook</span></em></p>

Relationships

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Veteran with terminal cancer speechless after Blue Wiggle’s kind act

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A Queensland army veteran has been left lost for words after finding out about how one of Australia’s biggest music stars plans to set his young family up for life.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Wiggles member Anthony Field has pledged to donate the royalties from the group’s new album, </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Lullabies With Love</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">, to Brendan Nikolajew’s wife and children.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Nikolajew is in palliative care as he combats late-stage terminal cancer at home in Moreton Bay.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I never thought that I’d be receiving support and admiration from such a legend,” Nikolajew said of Field’s kind act on Instagram on Tuesday.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Anthony has given so much and it’s too humbling.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“For this to be put into words is the hardest part … Just a massive thanks to everyone involved!”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 30-year-old war veteran, who served in Afghanistan, has been battling cancer for more than three years after a small lump was found on one of his testicles.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After treatment of the lump, his cancer returned in November last year and was found in other areas of his body.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite undergoing immediate chemotherapy treatment, he was recently given the terminal diagnosis and is making himself as comfortable as possible at home.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">His friend, Matthew James, spoke to 7NEWS in July, describing Nikolajew as “a positive guy”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“He’s the guy in the group who would try to pick you up if you were feeling down,” James said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“He’s definitely the most genuine bloke you could meet.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“For the past three or so years he’s been really going through it, it’s never really sunk in.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“He’s always been a positive guy. It’s kind of really starting to hit home. It’s a really rough time.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Field, the blue Wiggle who started the beloved children’s group in the 1990s, also served in the military.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">His gesture will be set to benefit Nikolajew’s wife Leah, their four-year-old daughter Georgie, and their two-year-old son Roman.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">More than $12000 has also been raised through a GoFundMe for the family.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ9SMwzhuxc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ9SMwzhuxc/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Brendan Nikolajew (@brendans.cancer.fight)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“These two and my wife, are the reasons I fight/fought so hard, so long and gave whatever it took,” Nikolajew said on Instagram recently.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I also lived my bloody life, which I’m proud of.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Brendan Nikolajew / Instagram</span></em></p>

Caring

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Ellen DeGeneres causes outrage over $55 Be Kind boxes

<p>Ellen DeGeneres has been known as the “Be Kind” lady for years and after multiple toxic workplace allegations came forward this year, she’s trying to build back her reputation with her new “Be Kind” boxes.</p> <p>The boxes, filled with goodies, are worth $270, with Ellen selling them for $55 a pop.</p> <p>But her initiative was not well received, with the boxes being inundated with complaints.</p> <p>The subscription box, full of Ellen’s ‘favourite things’ contains a painting set, earbuds, collapsible cup, a gold ‘hope’ necklace.</p> <p>But fans took to social media to voice their complaints.</p> <p>“The headphones in my box don’t work very well – very disappointed in the quality,” one Instagram user wrote.</p> <p>“Never got my summer box, can’t get anyone to respond to my emails? I don’t even have an account anymore for some reason, but I still have my invoice.” commented another.</p> <p>Another follower penned: “I am still waiting for my box … it’s been months.”</p> <p>The workplace scandal which recently came to light has seem to have caused a massive hit in her ratings.</p> <p>This season is averaging about 1.7 million viewers, which is nearly a 38 per cent drop from last year.</p> <p>In the season premiere, Ellen addressed the issue.</p> <p>“As you may have heard, this summer there were allegations of a toxic work environment at our show and then there was an investigation. I learned that things happened here that never should have happened,” Ellen told viewers.</p> <p>“I take that very seriously, and I want to say I am so sorry to the people who were affected. I know that I’m in a position of privilege and power, and I realise that with that comes responsibility, and I take responsibility for what happens at my show.”</p> <p>She added: “Being known as the ‘be-kind lady’ is a tricky position to be in. The truth is I am that person you see on TV. I am also a lot of other things. Sometimes I get sad, I get mad, I get anxious, I get frustrated, I get impatient. And I am working on all of that.”</p>

TV

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Introvert or extrovert: What kind of traveller are you?

<p>Do you find bliss in big city lights, buzzing crowds and endless hustle and bustle?</p> <p>Or are you stimulated by the undisturbed, by the secluded corners and fleeting moments of peace? </p> <p>Introvert or extrovert: there’s a destination for you.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>London for Cornwall<br /></u></strong>Extrovert: <strong>London: </strong>Year round, London is an incredible city. It’s the heart of England in art, history, shopping and gastronomy. Incredibly diverse, the city is home to the London Eye, Borough Market, The Tate, Hyde Park and the Queen.<br /><strong>Cornwall</strong>: For those tired of the big-city chaos. This rugged coastal county is home to quaint harbour villages, towering cliffs, fresh produce and an english surf culture.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Rio De Janeiro for Morro de S</u></strong><strong><u>ão Paulo<br /></u></strong>Extrovert: <strong>Rio De Janeiro:</strong> Vibrant carnival parades and a general zest for life: Rio is a destination for the socialite. The city has no shortage of beaches, rolling hills, lively restaurants and samba.<br /><strong>Introvert: Morro de São Paulo: </strong>Located on Tinharé Island, this village is completely car free. The coastal town is known for its glorious palm fringed shores, surf breaks and local beach culture. </p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Tokyo for Tottori<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Tokyo</strong>: This unique capital is buzzing with culture, fashion, incredible cuisine and scenic temples and shrines. Let’s be honest, there isn’t much to deter.<br /><strong>Introvert: Tottori</strong>: This picturesque seaside city is relatively untouched by tourists. It’s Japan’s least populated district and is buzzing with rock formations, temples, gardens and sand dunes.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Los Angeles and Yosemite<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Los Angeles:</strong> This sunny Californian city is home to Paramount Pictures, Universal Studios, Hollywood and all things film industry. Head to LA to see what life is like for the stars.<br /><strong>Introvert: Yosemite:</strong> Sierra Nevada’s Yosemite National Park is known for its granite cliffs and sweeping valleys. Head to Yosemite for a scenic nature escape exploring waterfalls and mountainsides.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Paris for Epernay<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Paris: </strong>Boulangerie breakfasts and bistro dinners. For some, Paris will always be the dream. Meandering cobblestone streets, incredible historic architecture, premier boutique shopping and a vibrant arts culture. It is, after all, the City of Light.<br /><strong>Introvert: Epernay:</strong> Of course Paris isn’t everyone’s <em>cafe au lait</em>. If champagne tasting, rolling vineyards, quaint villages and hidden castles are more your thing, head to Epernay.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Bali for Lombok<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Bali: </strong>An Australian favourite; Bali is known for its rice paddies, beaches, and mountainous scenery.<br /><strong>Introvert: Lombok</strong>: If the chaos and inflated western prices of Bali don’t appeal, check out Lombok. This introvert paradise has similarly spectacular beaches and volcanic mountains, some (such as the Gili Islands) are motor vehicle-free. <br /><br /></p> <p><strong>New York City for Finger Lakes<br /></strong><strong>Extrovert: New York City:</strong> This thriving city is home to the famous Empire State Building, Central Park and Time Square. If you’re after a massive array of tourist experiences in a lively city, head to NYC.<br /><strong>Introvert: Finger Lakes:</strong> This New York region is known for its sweeping lakes, valleys and vineyards. It’s a great place to relax without the crowds whilst enjoying scenic state parks, wine country and some spectacular waterfalls.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Madrid for Porto<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Madrid:</strong> Packed with a world-class arts culture, a rich history, mouthwatering tapas, gothic architecture and incredible shopping: this lively city is a destination for the extroverts.<br /><strong>Introvert: Porto: </strong>A quiet coastal city in Portugal’s North, Porto is a one hour flight from Madrid. It’s known for its narrow cobbled streets, port wine production, merchants’ houses and boutique cafes. Built for the introverts, Porto is a perfect balance of culture and quiet.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Kathmandu for Pokhara<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Kathmandu: </strong>Kathmandu is the hub of Nepal. There are endless things to do and it’s the easiest and most accessible city in Nepal. It’s well worth the visit. <br /><strong>Introvert: Pokhara</strong>: As any capital city, Kathmandu can be chaotic. Head to Pokhara for waterfalls, spectacular scenery, clear lakes, hiking, caves and yoga retreats.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Rome for Tuscany<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Rome: </strong>Cobbled streets and piazzas, ancient columns and architecture, a fascinating history and fantastic cuisine. And of course; gelato. This charming city is impossible not to fall in love with. <br /><strong>Introvert: Tuscany</strong>: Rome can be overwhelming for some. If you’re still after an authentic Italian experience, head to Tuscany. The picturesque region is overflowing with lush landscapes, wineries, enchanting architecture and Italian renaissance. It’s also home to the cobblestone streets and terracotta cafes of Florence.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Byron Bay for Brunswick Heads<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Byron Bay:</strong> Famous for its incredible beaches, Byron Bay is a popular summer destination with Aussies and foreign visitors. Byron is also home to an animated local community, holding regular festivals and markets, and boasting great family orientated organisations such as The Farm.<br /><strong>Introvert: Brunswick Heads:</strong> Byron tends to get a little busy at the best of times. Only 15-minutes drive away is Brunswick Heads. The small beachside town boasts trendy cafes, boutique patisseries and lots of family friendly to-do’s. You can check out the highlights of Byron, but it serves as a great excuse to escape the crowds and explore secluded beaches, winding creeks and wildlife reserves. </p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Amsterdam for Utrecht<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Amsterdam</strong>: This culture-packed capital is home to a massive array of museums and galleries, delightful architecture, a lively arts culture and some pretty incredible Dutch food. <br /><strong>Introvert: Utrecht</strong>: Previously titled <em>‘the happiest place in the world</em>’, Utrecht is only 40 minutes drive from Amsterdam. Less touristy than its counterpart, the city is laced with winding walkways and medieval architecture. The Old Town is also home to the famous two-level canals.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Haridwar for Rishikesh<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Haridwar: </strong>This popular pilgrimage spot receives hundreds and thousands of tourists every year. It’s one of the central destinations for the Kumbh Mela (Holy Dip), and is full of heritage, charm, peaceful ashrams and a laid-back lifestyle.<br /><strong>Introvert: Rishikesh</strong>: Swap Haridwar for Rishikesh for a more relaxed getaway. The birthplace of yoga, Rishikesh is situated in the Himilayan foothills beside the Ganges and was a favourite destination of the Beatles.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Perisher and Thredbo for Charlotte Pass<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Perisher or Thredbo: </strong>Skiing in NSW. Let’s be honest, we aren’t spoilt for choice. The hustle and bustle of Perisher and Thredbo consistently cater for the crowd-happy extroverts.<br /><strong>Introvert: Charlotte Pass: </strong>But if you’re dying to hit the slopes but hate the chaos of Friday Flat, check out Charlotte Pass. The snow village is Australia’s highest resort, and offers a quiet alternative to Thredbo/Perisher.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Mykonos for </u></strong><strong><u>Antiparos<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: </strong><strong>Mykonos</strong>: This picturesque coastal town is known for its lively summer parties and dance clubs.<br /><strong>Introvert: Antiparos</strong>: For a secluded alternative, head to Antiparos. This little island is accessible by ferry, so you won’t bump into too many crowds.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Machu Picchu for </u></strong><strong><u>Choquequirao<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: </strong><strong>Machu Picchu:</strong> This ancient Incan citadel is high (excuse the pun) on every extrovert bucket list. The historic site is situated in Peru’s Andes Mountains, and the city skeleton is famous for its intriguing architectural history and panoramic backdrop.<br /><strong>Introvert</strong>: <strong>Choquequirao</strong>: The crowds in Machu Picchu are conspicuous. Choquequirao sits a little lower, and is similar in both structure and history. It also tends to be much less crowded than its sister citadel, and still provides a rewarding hike.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Positano for Sant'Agnello<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Positano</strong>: This vibrant cliffside town is one of the Amalfi Coast’s most well-known destinations. The steep streets are lined with lively cafes and shops, and during Summer tourists flock to the colourful village.<br /><strong>Introvert</strong>: <strong>Sant'Agnello</strong>: This beautiful antique town is a neighbour of Sorrento, and tends to accommodate those after a less touristy experience. It’s a perfect spot for the history buffs, and a great base for those keen to explore the Sorrento Coast. You can also score a B&amp;B in an authentic Sorrento lemon grove.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><u>Bangkok for Chaing Mai<br /></u></strong><strong>Extrovert: Bangkok: </strong>Bangkok comes to life after dark especially when the city fills with night markets.<br /><strong>Introvert: Chaing Mai: </strong>This mountainous city is located in northern Thailand, and tends to be a little cooler than Bangkok. It’s famous for its beautiful natural scenery, relaxed living pace, calm temples and some of the best Thai food in the country. </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Vienna for Salzburg<br /></strong><strong>Extrovert: Vienna: </strong>Check out the influence of residents Sigmund Freud, Gustav Klimt and Mozart, or get lost in the twists and turns of Vienna’s baroque style streets. Be it for art, culture, food or history; this haven of a city is well worth the visit.<br /><strong>Introvert</strong>: <strong>Salzburg: </strong>Home of the von Trapp family, the rolling hills and ornate palaces in Salzburg provide a serene alternative to Vienna. The city shares the magnificent architecture and culture of its counterpart, but on a much smaller and more accessible scale.</p>

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How ‘quiet kindness’ can bolster well-being during coronavirus pandemic

<p>I’ve learned a lot from the <a href="https://theconversation.com/kindness-what-ive-learned-from-3-000-children-and-adolescents-113705">thousands of public school students I’ve asked about kindness</a>.</p> <p>As a researcher at the University of British Columbia, a great deal of my time is spent asking children, adolescents and even university students what it means to be kind and how they demonstrate kindness. Children can be kind in predictable or anticipated ways (for instance, holding a door open for a stranger) but I’ve also learned that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0829573519885802">they’re kinder than we might think</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0829573517732202">their kindness takes many forms</a>.</p> <p>As our society navigates this coronavirus pandemic and we hear with <a href="https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/covid-19-ontario-reports-78-new-cases-the-most-in-one-day-so-far">increasing emphasis how important it is to stay home</a>, I reflect on what might be gained by remembering <a href="https://doi.org/10.18357/jcs.v43i2.18576">what I came to define as “quiet kindness.”</a></p> <p>Such acts of kindness don’t draw attention to the initiator or aren’t announced to the recipient, who may very well remain unaware of the kindness performed on their behalf. For children, an act of quiet kindness does not garner the attention of any adults who might typically encourage or reinforce kindness.</p> <p><strong>Self-regulation</strong></p> <p>Quietly kind acts contrast what psychology researchers Gustavo Carlo and Brandy Randall termed “<a href="https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/psychfacpub/70/">public pro-social behaviours</a>,” which are conducted in front of an audience to gain approval.</p> <p>I arrived at a definition of quiet kindness after examining younger children’s (kindergarten to Grade 3) drawings and explanations of how they were kind, and older students’ (grades 4 to 7) written descriptions. They shared acts of kindness like leaving money in the vending machine for the next patron, not laughing at a joke or insult if it’ll cause someone around them to suffer — or as one middle school student described — not asking “for so much stuff.”</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322561/original/file-20200324-155666-16gi92v.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /> <span class="caption">‘Not ask for so much stuff’ is one child’s act of kindness.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(John-Tyler Binfet)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>Some of these quiet acts reflect <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0098628311430172">self-regulation, a hot-topic concept among educators</a>. Children’s self-regulation relates to children and adolescents taking responsibility for their language and actions by self-governing.</p> <p>For example, one student described an act of kindness within the context of his family: to self-restrain and enact less aggression toward his brother.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322560/original/file-20200324-155702-65804z.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span class="caption">Don’t punch little brother (Charlie).</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(John-Tyler Binfet)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>These acts of quiet kindness require what <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-017-0786-1">psychologists call “perspective-taking”</a> — the ability to gain perspective by putting oneself in the shoes of the other. It has been argued that perspective-taking <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/00221325.2019.1632785">is a key prerequisite to being kind</a>.</p> <p>Certainly, we’re best able to tailor our acts of kindness to the needs of those around us when we see from others’ points of view. In doing so, we can reflect upon how our kindness might support those around us.</p> <p><strong>Done on the downlow</strong></p> <p>During this time of coronavirus social distancing and quarantine, we’ve ample time to reflect on the needs of others. I hear the call: “But what about MY needs?!” as I think about <a href="https://northernontario.ctvnews.ca/sudbury-costco-runs-out-of-toilet-paper-1.4848454">people standing in line for toilet paper at Costco</a>.</p> <p>One antidote to maintaining our well-being during this unprecedented time might be to reflect on others’ needs and devise ways to be quietly kind? We know that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014">being kind to others is a guaranteed way to bolster our well-being</a>.</p> <p>We feel better when we’re kind to others and the added bonus is that we make others feel better too.</p> <p>It could be as simple as the student’s example below who said “not leaving his stuff laying on the floor” was an act of kindness for his mom and himself. I hope these examples might inspire us to consider a variety of ways to be quietly kind. Maybe this means sharing space more mindfully right now with those we live with or being more diligent with social distancing.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/322563/original/file-20200324-155683-wmceeu.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span class="caption">‘Not leave my stuff laying on the floor in my room,’ is one student’s act of kindness for his mom and himself.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(John-Tyler Binfet)</span>, <span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>Kindness need not be delivered like a Broadway production, with ample fanfare and attention drawn to the initiator. It can be done on the down-low, respond to the needs of those around us and be quietly delivered.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/134579/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><em><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/john-tyler-binfet-703205">John-Tyler Binfet</a>, Associate Professor, Faculty of Education, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-british-columbia-946">University of British Columbia</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/quiet-kindness-can-bolster-well-being-during-coronavirus-pandemic-134579">original article</a>.</em></p>

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