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How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> It’s a shock when we realise our parents aren’t managing well at home. Perhaps the house and garden are looking more chaotic, and Mum or Dad are relying more on snacks than nutritious meals. Maybe their grooming or hygiene has declined markedly, they are socially isolated or not doing the things they used to enjoy. They may be losing weight, have had a fall, aren’t managing their medications correctly, and are at risk of getting scammed. You’re worried and you want them to be safe and healthy. You’ve tried to talk to them about aged care but been met with swift refusal and an indignant declaration “I don’t need help – everything is fine!” Now what? Here are four things to consider. <h2>1. Start with more help at home</h2> Getting help and support at home can help keep Mum or Dad well and comfortable without them needing to move. Consider drawing up a roster of family and friends visiting to help with shopping, cleaning and outings. You can also use home aged care services – or a combination of both. Government subsidised home care services provide from one to 13 hours of care a week. You can get more help if you are a veteran or are able to pay privately. You can take advantage of things like rehabilitation, fall risk-reduction programs, personal alarms, stove automatic switch-offs and other technology aimed at increasing safety. Call <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/">My Aged Care</a> to discuss your options. <h2>2. Be prepared for multiple conversations</h2> Getting Mum or Dad to accept paid help can be tricky. Many families often have multiple conversations around aged care before a decision is made. Ideally, the older person feels supported rather than attacked during these conversations. Some families have a meeting, so everyone is coming together to help. In other families, certain family members or friends might be better placed to have these conversations – perhaps the daughter with the health background, or the auntie or GP who Mum trusts more to provide good advice. Mum or Dad’s main emotional support person should try to maintain their relationship. It’s OK to get someone else (like the GP, the hospital or an adult child) to play “bad cop”, while a different person (such as the older person’s spouse, or a different adult child) plays “good cop”. <h2>3. Understand the options when help at home isn’t enough</h2> If you have maximised home support and it’s not enough, or if the hospital won’t discharge Mum or Dad without extensive supports, then you may be <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/8/1504/5863160">considering a nursing home</a> (also known as residential aged care in Australia). Every person has a legal right to <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/9-your-right-choose-where-you-live">choose where we live</a> (unless they have lost capacity to make that decision). This means families can’t put Mum or Dad into residential aged care against their will. Every person also has the right to choose to take risks. People can choose to continue to live at home, even if it means they might not get help immediately if they fall, or eat poorly. We should respect Mum or Dad’s decisions, even if we disagree with them. Researchers call this “dignity of risk”. It’s important to understand Mum or Dad’s point of view. Listen to them. Try to figure out what they are feeling, and what they are worried might happen (which might not be rational). Try to understand what’s really important to their quality of life. Is it the dog, having privacy in their safe space, seeing grandchildren and friends, or something else? Older people are often understandably concerned about losing independence, losing control, and having strangers in their personal space. Sometimes families prioritise physical health over psychological wellbeing. But we need to consider both when considering nursing home admission. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9826495/">Research</a> suggests going into a nursing home temporarily increases loneliness, risk of depression and anxiety, and sense of losing control. Mum and Dad should be involved in the decision-making process about where they live, and when they might move. Some families start looking “just in case” as it often takes some time to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/questions-to-ask-when-choosing-an-aged-care-home-for-a-loved-one/10302590">find the right nursing home</a> and there can be a wait. After you have your top two or three choices, take Mum or Dad to visit them. If this is not possible, take pictures of the rooms, the public areas in the nursing home, the menu and the activities schedule. We should give Mum or Dad information about their options and risks so they can make informed (and hopefully better) decisions. For instance, if they visit a nursing home and the manager says they can go on outings whenever they want, this might dispel a belief they are “locked up”. Having one or two weeks “respite” in a home may let them try it out before making the big decision about staying permanently. And if they find the place unacceptable, they can try another nursing home instead. <h2>4. Understand the options if a parent has lost capacity to make decisions</h2> If Mum or Dad have lost capacity to choose where they live, family may be able to make that decision in their best interests. If it’s not clear whether a person has capacity to make a particular decision, a medical practitioner can assess for that capacity. Mum or Dad may have appointed an <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/wills/appoint-enduring-guardian/what-enduring-guardian">enduring guardian</a> to make decisions about their health and lifestyle decisions when they are not able to. An enduring guardian can make the decision that the person should live in residential aged care, if the person no longer has the capacity to make that decision themselves. If Mum or Dad didn’t appoint an enduring guardian, and have lost capacity, then a court or tribunal can <a href="https://www.tag.nsw.gov.au/guardianship/information-about-guardianship">appoint</a> that person a private guardian (usually a family member, close friend or unpaid carer). If no such person is available to act as private guardian, a public official may be appointed as public guardian. <h2>Deal with your own feelings</h2> Families often feel <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12144-023-04538-9">guilt and grief</a> during the decision-making and transition process. Families need to act in the best interest of Mum or Dad, but also balance other caring responsibilities, financial priorities and their own wellbeing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221210/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-handle-it-if-my-parent-is-refusing-aged-care-4-things-to-consider-221210">original article</a>.

Solemnity and celebration: how political cartoonists have handled the death of a monarch, from Victoria to Elizabeth II

It sounds very familiar – a well-respected monarch dies, and a radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist struggles to find the right tone to commemorate the event. He is torn between his distaste for what he sees as the archaic, pre-modern institution of monarchy, and the undoubted personal quality of the late incumbent. More used to poking fun at the great and good, or attacking governments for their weak-willed or wrong-headed policies, changing tone to reverence and respect is difficult. But in the end, he manages to strike a very good balance and produce a memorable cartoon. The well-respected monarch was George VI; the radical, left-leaning, Antipodean cartoonist was <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Low_(cartoonist)">David Low</a>; and the year was 1952. With <a href="https://archive.cartoons.ac.uk/Record.aspx?src=CalmView.Catalog&id=LSE8008">From One Man to Another</a>, Low not only conveyed his own respects, man-to-man, but imagined also the British workman, his hat in his hand and sleeves rolled-up, casting a humble bunch of flowers towards a mighty tombstone labelled “The Gentlest of the Georges”. This was an expression of democratic – even socialist – sensibility, in an age when monarchy seemed, to many, to be increasingly out-of-step with the advance of modernity and the inexorable march of post-war history. Low was compelled to look back, not forward, conscious he had an historic role to fulfil in commemorating the passing of the king who had embodied so much of the stolid, British pluck and humility during the second world war. He reflected <a href="https://archive.org/details/lowsautobiograph017633mbp/page/n225/mode/2up">in his 1956 autobiography</a> that he hated the old-fashioned, “The Nation Mourns”-style of Victorian cartoon, but it was to that set of images and traditions that he turned. <h2>A long lineage</h2> Cartoonists have had to do something similar in 2022, with the death of Queen Elizabeth II. In the United Kingdom, the likes of <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/peter-brookes-times-cartoon-september-9-2022-vzfhf606t">Peter Brookes</a>, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2022/sep/08/ben-jennings-on-the-death-of-the-queen-cartoon">Ben Jennings</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489">Christian Adams</a> have all been conscious of the need for solemnity, as well as celebration. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabethII?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/queen?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#queen</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Queen?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Queen</a> Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Rest?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Rest</a> In Peace <a href="https://twitter.com/EveningStandard?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@EveningStandard</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/cartoon?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#cartoon</a> <a href="https://t.co/bzEcwRlaEb">pic.twitter.com/bzEcwRlaEb</a> — Christian Adams (@Adamstoon1) <a href="https://twitter.com/Adamstoon1/status/1567968191934271489?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></blockquote> Across the world, cartoonists have had to struggle with much the same thing, and some favoured themes are already apparent: <a href="https://www.electriccitymagazine.ca/touching-cartoon-salute-depicting-the-queen-reuniting-with-prince-philip-and-paddington-bear/">Elizabeth reunited</a> with her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, or troops of <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433">sad corgis</a>; the Union Flag with an Elizabeth II-shaped hole at the centre; or a tube train with a sole occupant heading into a blaze of light at the end of the tunnel. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> 9/9/2022- Queen Elizabeth II <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Elizabeth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Elizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ElizabethII?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ElizabethII</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/QueenElizabeth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#QueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeace?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeace</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestInPeaceQueenElizabeth</a> <a href="https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm">https://t.co/evcXLHfcgm</a> <a href="https://t.co/wg7B9k7WSW">pic.twitter.com/wg7B9k7WSW</a> — Clay Bennett (@BennettCartoons) <a href="https://twitter.com/BennettCartoons/status/1568017878225682433?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 8, 2022</a></blockquote> All of these images speak to the style and the visual language of today, but also share a lineage several centuries old. <h2>A bereaved widow, again</h2> Nobody would have thought to depict Queen Victoria’s death in 1901 with her travelling to heaven by tube, although the Underground seems emblematic of her age (London’s first underground railway was <a href="https://tfl.gov.uk/corporate/about-tfl/culture-and-heritage/londons-transport-a-history/london-underground/a-brief-history-of-the-underground">opened in January 1863</a>, 26 years into Victoria’s reign). There were no sad corgis (that breed only became associated with the Royal Family <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-09-12/queen-elizabeth-ii-loved-corgi-dogs-throughout-her-life/101428106">from the 1930s</a>), but a downcast British Lion was imagined by Francis Carruthers Gould in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fun_(magazine)">Fun</a>. The theme of a bereaved widow finally reunited with her spouse is clearly a parallel (Albert, the Prince Consort had died in 1861). So too is the very idea that a cartoonist should commemorate the event – something unthinkable when William IV died in 1837, or so much so when George IV died in 1830 that a well-known cartoonist <a href="https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/P_1882-1209-677">never published his draft sketch</a>. The sheer immensity of the loss of Victoria called for some pretty special treatment, at a time when cartooning was a lot more formal and respectable than it is today. It preoccupied several days’ work for Linley Sambourne, chief cartoonist of London’s <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_(magazine)">Punch</a> (for a while, a magazine that was almost as much a British institution as the monarchy). Requiescat was huge: a double-page spread in sombre black-and-white, depicting a gaggle of goddesses in mourning for their lost monarch. Allegorical female figures representing countries were all the rage in Victorian and Edwardian cartooning (something David Low also hated and thought was “moth-eaten” by the time he was at his peak). England, Scotland, Wales, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and India were all included by Sambourne. Just one goddess was enough for his junior colleague, Bernard Partridge, who imagined <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clio">Clio</a> – History herself – adding the name of Victoria to the roll of great monarchs. It was the same when Victoria’s son and heir, Edward VII, died in May, 1910. Bernard Partridge went with just two figures, rather than a whole host, imagining a weeping Britannia seated before the empty Coronation Chair, an angel of peace reaching out to touch her shoulder. This was designed to express “an empire’s grief” in terms even more explicit than Sambourne had done with Victoria, but the imagery was very British; even domestic. Minus the caption, it could almost be recycled in 2022 - crucially, the monarch does not actually appear. So too, Partridge’s offering in January 1936, when George V died (apparently by the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/mar/29/king-george-v-was-murdered-not-euthanised">hand of his doctor</a>). Britannia tolling a bell from a medieval bell-tower, with a fog-laden London skyline in the background. Clear the fog, add a Gherkin and a Shard, and the effect would be much the same. While David Low struggled against the Victorian style of memorial cartoon, it is still very much with us. As so often, cartoons can encapsulate a whole host of feelings that mere words can’t express. Image credits: Twitter @toonsbystellina This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/solemnity-and-celebration-how-political-cartoonists-have-handled-the-death-of-a-monarch-from-victoria-to-elizabeth-ii-190338" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Art

When peeling a boiled egg is simply too hot to handle

People recently went wild over a simple trick that'll make the shells 'slide right off' your boiled eggs - but what if you didn't have to worry about peeling the shells off at all? Popular foodie Jamie Fielding has shared a 'boiled' egg hack that completely removes the need to deal with the shells. Some people are calling the idea 'life changing'. "So much easier than trying to peel eggs," Jamie captioned a <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@jamiefielding_/video/7092380555395763502">video</a> she shared to her TikTok account, which you can watch above. The cooking method doesn't involve boiling the eggs at all. Instead, the eggs are cooked in the oven. First she spreads olive oil around a loaf pan using a paper towel, and cracks seven eggs into it. Then she places the pan into a slightly larger baking dish, which she fills with water until the water level is in line with the level of the eggs. The video has received over 700,000 likes and thousands of comments, with people also calling the method 'mind blowing'. "This is life changing," one person commented. Image: TikTok

Food & Wine

How should we handle death?

<div class="copy">Much of the world’s resources, efforts and expertise of the past century have been put into avoiding death. But a multidisciplinary team of researchers is asking if this is the best approach – whether, instead of “overmedicalising” death, societies should prioritise a reduction in suffering.The Lancet Commission on the Value of Death is an interdisciplinary team of experts in healthcare, economics, philosophy, theology and community work, alongside community activists. In a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(21)02314-X" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">report published today</a>, the Commission has called for a worldwide change of attitudes towards death.“While many people are overtreated in hospitals with families and communities relegated to the margins, still more remain undertreated, dying of preventable conditions and without access to basic pain relief,” the report opens.This has been exacerbated by COVID-19. “People have died the ultimate medicalised deaths, often alone but for masked staff in hospitals and intensive care units, unable to communicate with family except electronically,” the report reads.The researchers outline five principles to improve the value and process of death:<ol type="1"><li>Death, dying and grieving must be made more equitable: all people should be able to lead healthier lives and die more comfortable deaths.</li><li>The relational and spiritual process of death must be recognised in addition to the medical event, to allow for better care.</li><li>Families and wider community members should be more heavily involved in caring for the dying, alongside professionals.</li><li>Public conversations and debate about death and grief should be encouraged.</li><li>Death should be recognised as having value.</li></ol>To achieve these principles, the researchers believe there should be clear education on death, palliative care, and interventions for people at the end of life, their families, and professionals.They also advocate for increased access to pain relief around the world, more public conversations on death, empowerment of networks of care, and government support for informal carers through payments and provision of compassionate leave.The report highlights parts of the world that have more effectively pursued some of these targets – such as Kerala, in India, which has benefited from a community-based palliative care model over the past three decades.“Death is a part of life, and [it] gives meaning and shape to the experience of living,” says Professor Jennifer Tieman, a researcher in palliative and supportive services at Flinders University, who was not involved in production of the report.“It is clear that medicine and public health initiatives have extended our individual and collective lifespans, but there are implications and associations for such a rapid and profound set of changes.”Tieman says that the report “is a narrative reminding us that death is not owned by medicine but is a dynamic system of people, types of knowledge, history, beliefs and attitudes, as well as systems and processes. The system is not static but shaped by all the elements in the system and by disruptions external to the system, such as COVID.”Dr Kasia Bail, an associate professor in nursing at the University of Canberra, says that the report’s recommendations on relational care are “very idealistic rather than pragmatic”, because of the way care is funded.<div class="newsletter-box"><div id="wpcf7-f6-p180839-o1" class="wpcf7" dir="ltr" lang="en-US" role="form"> </div></div>“Investment in care is the social and financial challenge, whether dying care or otherwise,” says Bail.“Aged care investment and valuing care workers is really indicative of our cultural tolerance for this – we tolerate really low pay, even if we say they do important work.”A paradigm shift is required in funding, as well as in attitudes towards care and death.“Relational care is a beautiful concept,” says Bail. “But the compaction of care into small episodes funded on interventions and procedures is completely in contrast to this.”Tieman says that the Australian attitude to death reflects that of many other developed countries.“In Australia, there is a growing understanding of the need for death literacy; the importance of inclusion, equity and access; the role of the family and community that wraps around the person at the end of life; and the ability to hold essential conversations,” says Tieman.She cites an <a href="https://www.caresearch.com.au/tabid/6479/Default.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">open online course</a> she’s involved in as an example of this.Bail points out that in Australia, despite efforts to the contrary, access to palliative care is linked to wealth, race, illness and location.“Health professionals are often well able to support patients if they are on the standard factory line of treatment, but have difficulty following patient preferences if they are outside the ‘norm’ or ‘guidelines’ associated with active treatment,” says Bail.“Palliative and supportive care clinicians are really skilled at navigating the space in between, but are often included too late, and are under-resourced to be able to meet the volume of need for earlier conversations.”“The Commission report reminds us that without a realignment, we will miss the opportunity to see death as our last human experience,” says Tieman.“A lack of familiarity with death and dying can mean we unintentionally exclude those who are dying, caring and grieving because we do not acknowledge them and facilitate their participation in the workplace, in our community and in society.”Image credits: Getty Images<img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="height: 1px!important;width: 1px!important;border: 0!important" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=180839&title=How+should+we+handle+death%3F" width="1" height="1" /></div><div id="contributors">This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/culture/death-dying-overmedicalising-care-lancet-report/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Ellen Phiddian. </div>

Mind

5 food safety tips for proper food handling

Get up to speed about the proper way to handle food to minimise the risk of food poisoning. In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food. Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4">washing plates in a dirty puddle</a>. Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food. When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards. Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning. 1. Picking up refrigerated and frozen items last At the supermarket, pick up your refrigerated and frozen items last, just before you make your way to the checkout counter. Choose chilled items that have been properly packed without any tear in the packaging. If you are looking to shed some dollars from your grocery bill, try these <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/money/Spend-Less-On-Groceries-With-These-19-Tricks-Savvy-Shoppers-Use">supermarket shopping hacks</a>. 2. Buy raw meats that have been properly displayed Never buy chilled or frozen items that have been displayed at room temperature. If you do most of your grocery shopping at the wet market*, this is particularly important. Take note of how the raw seafood and meats are being displayed. Are they in a chiller? Is there sufficient ice packed around the items to ensure they’re stored at a safe temperature? Once you get your meat home, you still have to cook it, however. Try this version of a classic stroganoff that <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-and-mushroom-stroganoff">stretches a modest portion of meat</a>. * For those in Australia and New Zealand, the wet market is an Asian grocery store that sells fresh meat and produce. 3. Bringing the food home safely Our hot and humid weather can provide extra challenges when it comes to keeping our food safe. If your journey home will take longer than 30 minutes, keep your chilled and frozen items in an insulated bag and make use of the free ice that is provided by some supermarkets to keep the items well chilled. Store the items in the fridge as quickly as possible. In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food. Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4">washing plates in a dirty puddle</a>. Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food. When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards. Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning. <img style="width: 500px; height: 281.2903225806452px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7843907/food-handling-um.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/070f60984208487ea761a3e32e6bc07c" /> 4. Storing raw foods properly Raw foods should be kept separate from cooked foods while in the fridge. Different types of raw foods (e.g., meat, eggs, vegetables) should also be kept separately from each other to avoid cross contamination. If you’re not planning to cook the meat in the next three to five days, it’s best to freeze it. Get the most out of your beef buy with these delicious and easy <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-skewers-ginger-dipping-sauce">beef skewers with ginger dipping sauce</a>. 5. Avoid buying pre-cut fruits If you’re concerned about the cases of contaminated pre-cut fruit, you may want to buy a whole fruit and cut it up yourself at home. Wash the fruit properly by rubbing it with your hands under running water. If you’re cutting it up, use a separate chopping board than the one you use for raw meat. In a race to eat all of your fruit purchases before they all spoil? <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/kitchen-tips/how-to-preserve-fruit">Try bottling it as a preserve!</a> By Siti Rohani Image: Getty Images and Max Pixel This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/5-food-safety-tips-proper-food-handling">Reader’s Digest</a>

Home & Garden

5 food safety tips for proper food handling

In light of recent food poisoning cases around the world – a salmonella outbreak in the US in June that sickened over 100 people was linked to contaminated pre-cut melons and several people in Australia died because of contaminated rockmelons in February – it is more important than ever to get up to speed about the right way to handle food. Closer to home, Malaysian and Singaporean netizens were shocked by a video that circulated on social media in June this year of staff at a Bangsar, KL, eatery <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3maABRgv8G4">washing plates in a dirty puddle</a>. Contamination can occur at several junctures, such as during the production of the food, the processing of raw materials, and even during the transport and display of the food. When a food product finally makes it to the kitchen, it is also in danger of cross contamination, which is the transfer of bacteria or viruses through the use of contaminated items such as knives or chopping boards. Be vigilant and adopt these 5 food safety tips to minimise the risk of food poisoning. 1. Picking up refrigerated and frozen items last At the supermarket, pick up your refrigerated and frozen items last, just before you make your way to the checkout counter. Choose chilled items that have been properly packed without any tear in the packaging. If you are looking to shed some dollars from your grocery bill, try these <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/money/Spend-Less-On-Groceries-With-These-19-Tricks-Savvy-Shoppers-Use">supermarket shopping hacks</a>. 2. Buy raw meats that have been properly displayed Never buy chilled or frozen items that have been displayed at room temperature. If you do most of your grocery shopping at the wet market*, this is particularly important. Take note of how the raw seafood and meats are being displayed. Are they in a chiller? Is there sufficient ice packed around the items to ensure they’re stored at a safe temperature? Once you get your meat home, you still have to cook it, however. Try this version of a classic stroganoff that <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-and-mushroom-stroganoff">stretches a modest portion of meat</a>. * For those in Australia and New Zealand, the wet market is an Asian grocery store that sells fresh meat and produce. 3. Bringing the food home safely Our hot and humid weather can provide extra challenges when it comes to keeping our food safe. If your journey home will take longer than 30 minutes, keep your chilled and frozen items in an insulated bag and make use of the free ice that is provided by some supermarkets to keep the items well chilled. Store the items in the fridge as quickly as possible. 4. Storing raw foods properly Raw foods should be kept separate from cooked foods while in the fridge. Different types of raw foods (e.g., meat, eggs, vegetables) should also be kept separately from each other to avoid cross contamination. If you’re not planning to cook the meat in the next three to five days, it’s best to freeze it. Get the most out of your beef buy with these delicious and easy <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/recipes/beef-skewers-ginger-dipping-sauce">beef skewers with ginger dipping sauce</a>. 5. Avoid buying pre-cut fruits If you’re concerned about the cases of contaminated pre-cut fruit, you may want to buy a whole fruit and cut it up yourself at home. Wash the fruit properly by rubbing it with your hands under running water. If you’re cutting it up, use a separate chopping board than the one you use for raw meat. In a race to eat all of your fruit purchases before they all spoil? <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/kitchen-tips/how-to-preserve-fruit">Try bottling it as a preserve!</a> Written by Siti Rohani. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/5-food-safety-tips-proper-food-handling">Reader’s Digest</a>. Find more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="https://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA93V">here’s our best subscription offer</a>.

Food & Wine

“Someone needs to be held accountable”: Ovation of the Seas cruise passengers slam company for White Island disaster handling

Passengers from the cruise ship at the centre of the White Island volcano eruption have disembarked at Sydney Harbour, with some criticising the way the company handled the incident. The Royal Caribbean International cruise ship Ovation of the Seas arrived in Sydney on Monday morning, a week after the disaster at the New Zealand island. Most of the people killed or injured in the eruption were part of organised day trips from the ship. Passenger Max Sum told the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-16/new-zealand-white-island-volcano-ovation-of-seas-docks-sydney/11802014">ABC</a> said “the whole boat” stopped when the news of the eruption was announced. Sum’s 11-year-old Russell said upon hearing the news, “I thought it was fake news. I was like that can’t be true.” Kim Lee Eng, who was travelling with his wife and mother, said he was “very disappointed” with “a lot of communication from management” after the incident. “This is a big company, 50 years old, so they should have had a contingency teams to deal with this,” Kim told <a href="https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/incidents/ovation-of-the-seas-arrives-back-in-sydney-after-white-island-volcano-disaster/live-coverage/c4670803c3686244f8d0605b998b2c00">news.com.au</a>. “They were holding us on board – taking advantage of us.” Karen Kociszewski said the company needs to be held responsible. “Someone needs to be held accountable, definitely the cruise company, because it’s sad people aren’t going home,” she said. “You sign a waiver to say that, you know, you go there and if you break your ankle you’re not going to sue them, but you don't go there thinking this is going to happen.” Jo-Anne Henderson said the atmosphere on board was “very somber” for the past week. “It was terrible, we were all so sorry that we were enjoying ourselves while people were getting blown away,” she said. “It was very somber on board. A lot of crying. A lot of people crying for many, many days, even up to yesterday there were still tears. It was so painful, it broke my heart.” Henderson commended the ship crew for keeping the passengers up to date. “Our captain was wonderful. He kept popping up and making announcements to let us know. Royal Caribbean did a brilliant job,” she said. US tourist Jennifer Highfield said while the employees on board were helpful, more facilities could have been made available. “The ship constantly gave us information and counselling. But it would have been helpful to have free Wi-Fi to keep in touch with family and friends who were concerned. I had a package covering internet, but I know there was a lot of people on board who did not,” Highfield told the <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-12-16/new-zealand-white-island-volcano-ovation-of-seas-docks-sydney/11802014">ABC</a>. “The captain was wonderful, we could tell it was heartbreaking for him personally. Even coming in today I felt a bit emotional.”

News

How to handle a wasp infestation

Wasps are common in all regions across Australia. They build nests on buildings away from direct sunlight and cause a lot of damage in the process. While most homeowners might ignore wasps, it is important to appreciate the risk they pose to your home’s occupants and the structure itself. They have an extremely painful sting which contains histamine. This chemical can cause allergic reactions in some people leading to health complications such as anaphylaxis or death. Stings from bees and wasps caused 12,351 admissions and 27 fatalities in Australia. It is for these reasons that you should learn more about <a href="https://www.dawsonspest.com.au/pest-library/bees-wasps">wasp nest removal</a>. This article highlights a few safe techniques of nest removal from your home or business structure. Read on. Identify a wasp infestation It is easy to find out if your home has a wasp infestation but finding a wasp is another matter altogether. These insects try to hide their nests away from sight where they can live undisturbed. You can check under an overhang where wasps stay away from the rain. They can also build under an awning, wood deck, soffit, railing or large tree branch in your compound. If you have noted wasps buzzing around your compound, it is important to call a licensed pest removal technician who has the skills and equipment to do the job. Stay away from a wasp nest If you happen to notice a wasp nest, it is advisable to stay away from it and remove your pets from the area. Many homeowners have ended up in emergency rooms while trying to locate wasp nests and remove them. It is important to note that wasps won’t attack unless they feel threatened. If you agitate them when trying to remove the nest, you will end up badly hurt or worse. To make matters worse, wasps release chemicals that attract others nearby and this can lead to a fatal situation especially if you have kids around. Once you identify a wasp nest, call a licensed wasp nest removal technician who has the prerequisite skills and equipment to do the job safely. Professional wasp removal The best thing about professional nest removal is that the pest control company knows how to handle the situation. They have experience dealing with different wasps in the area and will know which techniques to use. Without such skills, you might end up making things worse and injuring yourself. The nest removal process begins with a thorough inspection of your property, starting with the area where you spotted the nest. The pest control technicians wear protective gear to avoid injuries, and they use eco-friendly chemicals to eliminate the infestation and remove the wasp nest. When dealing with wasps, you need to appreciate that nest removal is not enough, hence the use of pesticides to get rid of the infestation. The best pest control service carries insurance for your protection and protection of their workers and you will enjoy peace of mind when they work. Written by Handyman Authors. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.handyman.net.au/nest-no-more-how-handle-wasp-infestation">Handyman</a>.

Home & Garden

A full royal household: How is Balmoral Castle handling all their guests?

With all the royal members staying at the Queen’s summer residence over the last few weeks, it is a wonder how they are managing all being so close to each other - even if the Summer home is a castle. Each year during the summer, Her Majesty spends time away from London in Scotland’s Highlands, at Balmoral Castle. When the warmer months are in full swing, other members of the royal family head north to join the Queen and Prince Philip. However reports are stating this year’s long list of visitors has forced couriers to make a few adjustments to the sleeping arrangements. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1OQ4aHgNi6/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1OQ4aHgNi6/" target="_blank">A post shared by Royals now and then (@royalsnowthen)</a> on Aug 16, 2019 at 4:17am PDT </div> </blockquote> British publication <a href="https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1170228/prince-william-prince-harry-news-feud-balmoral-castle-queen-summer-holiday">The Express </a>said the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s visit has coincided with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and due to this, both Prince William and Duchess Kate are staying out of the castle itself. "The Queen has a lot of guests coming and to ease the pressure the Cambridges are likely to stay at the cottage," a royal insider said. The Cambridge’s are believed to have settled into Tam-na-Ghar which is situated in the castle grounds. Meanwhile, Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan along with baby Archie are expected to be staying within the castle walls. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1pMmCCnSqQ/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1pMmCCnSqQ/" target="_blank">A post shared by The Royal Windsors (@royals_off_the_record)</a> on Aug 26, 2019 at 3:19pm PDT </div> </blockquote> So far, Balmoral Castle’s royal visitors include Prince Charles, Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Andrew, and his daughters Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice. Princess Eugenie's husband Jack Brooksbank and Beatrice's boyfriend, Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi have also visited up north. The guests are not sitting around either, the royal insider continued. "It can get quite busy at what they call 'the big house' and it's not especially relaxing even though it's a holiday.” "There's a daily routine which evolves around mealtimes, several outfit changes every day, sometimes five, and the Queen likes everything to run like clockwork." <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1eNv3ynuR0/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1eNv3ynuR0/" target="_blank">A post shared by Royal Icelander 🇮🇸 (@royalicelander)</a> on Aug 22, 2019 at 8:57am PDT </div> </blockquote> While the royals prefer to keep their activities private, Princess Eugenie has previously opened up about some of the ways they like to keep themselves occupied. The royal said in the documentary Our Queen at Ninety, Balmoral Castle is her “Granny’s” happy place. "Walks, picnics, dogs—a lot of dogs, there's always dogs—and people coming in and out all the time," she said. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Uv0DIHfZa/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B1Uv0DIHfZa/" target="_blank">A post shared by CAЯLOS (@los009)</a> on Aug 18, 2019 at 4:42pm PDT </div> </blockquote> "It's a lovely base for Granny and Grandpa, for us to come and see them up there, where you just have room to breathe and run." Balmoral Castle has been one of the royal’s residences since 1852, when Prince Albert purchased it as a gift for his wife Queen Victoria. Scroll through the gallery above to see the royal family at Balmoral Castle throughout the years.

Travel Trouble

How to handle people who make you feel inferior

Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today. You’ve got a relative who always purports to be the expert on any subject. Although it’s sometimes helpful to get actual advice you can use, the constant drumbeat of supposedly knowledge-based conclusions that comes out of this person’s mouth leaves you feeling that somehow you’re defective. When you think about it, the advice was useful, but it was given in a tone of voice that seems to have been designed to drive the point home that your ideas – and you – completely lack validity. When people go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself, the question becomes whether it’s you or them. If ordinarily you feel your self-concept is pretty robust, it shouldn’t really be affected by some small event that exposes your inadequacy. In fact, when you think about it, there are plenty of people who make you feel comfortable around them without feeling the least bit weak or defensive. Recent research by Simon Fraser University’s Uthike Girme and colleagues (2017) examined what they call “relationship-specific” attachment insecurity. They proposed that people can be made to feel insecure within a particular relationship, even when on the whole, they’ve got a relatively solid sense of who they are. Although the research focused on attachment security within a romantic relationship, the results can be thought of as generalisable to other close relationships as well. As Girme et al. note, “greater turbulence in the form of more negative emotions and irritations that occur during difficult transition periods escalates doubts and increases feelings of uncertainty about the relationship." In other words, when you’re made to feel insecure in your relationship, you question whether your partner will really be there for you. Translating this to the more general problem of feeling insecure with a non-romantic partner, the experience of being made to feel insecure should also create emotional turbulence. Part of what might influence your sense of insecurity, though, is whether you expect the relationship will endure over time. If you feel you’re going through a rough time that eventually will work itself out, you won’t be as upset if another person is unsupportive temporarily. Attachment security is the basic feeling that your relationship with others is solid and will endure over time. People high in this quality, additionally, have an equally solid sense of self. They don’t worry when someone comes along who challenges this stable base. However, if the Simon Fraser researchers are right, just because you feel secure one day doesn’t mean you’ll feel secure the next if something happens that challenges this foundation of your self-concept. Girme et al. hypothesised first that people high in attachment security expected their relationships to be more stable over time, and indeed this was confirmed. They next examined whether people’s feelings of distress would vary according to fluctuations in attachment security and, on a study of individuals drawn from a community sample, were able to establish this point. Finally, using a sample of couples undergoing the transition to parenthood, a notably stressful time, the Canadian researchers showed that those whose attachment security fluctuated the most throughout this 2-year period of change in their partner's availability were the ones who felt the most emotional distress. In summarising the findings of their three studies, Girme and her collaborators conclude that their work “counterbalance(s) previous research documenting secure individuals’ steadfast resilience when confronted with potentially damaging relationship experiences." In fact, the people who expect the greatest relationship stability are the ones who suffer the most when things go wrong. The flip side of this is that people low in attachment security don’t seem as distressed if their relationship partner becomes unavailable to them. Expecting less, they’re less surprised and disappointed when they get it. If we extrapolate from the conclusions of the Canadian research team to other, non-romantic relationships, similar principles may apply. In your own circle of friends, relatives, and co-workers, there are some people who reinforce and others who undermine your own security. In these instances, it’s important to ask yourself why these people challenge your basic sense of self. Is it because they are outright critical? Or do they make themselves seem more desirable by being emotionally unavailable? Then ask yourself whether it’s you or them? What causes people to need to make you feel insecure? To answer some of these questions, look outside your own relationship with these insecurity-fostering people. How do they relate to others, and what do others do in their presence? Do you sense that others, too, are made to feel small? Once you realise that is them and not you, this can help you neutralise your interactions with them. Going in ahead of time with them, knowing that you’ll be led down the path of self-doubt and anxiety, will allow you to make more objective appraisals of the situation. Girme et al. noted that people high in attachment security who were made to feel insecure also felt high levels of emotional distress. You can set that distress aside when you understand its source. You can also turn the tables on these findings to examine your own behaviour with others. Are you the one who needs to put people down by showing your superiority? Having a solid sense of self means that you don’t need to inflict this pain on others, because you’re confident in your own self-worth. To sum up, the way you handle people who make you insecure is to turn your attention inward and shore up your own self-esteem. Just because one person leads you to question yourself doesn’t mean that you’re inadequate. There may also be times when you’re particularly vulnerable. Recognise that people’s feelings of security can vary over time, and this will help you reduce the distress that one given individual can cause. Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. First appeared on <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/" target="_blank">Psychology Today</a>.

Relationships

How to handle common awkward moments

We all dread those awkward moments when you agonise over which answer is the right one, what to say to avoid offending someone, or how to best extricate yourself. Well, we’ve got the answers for you. 1. “I’ve been meaning to call you!” Returning phone calls can be one of life’s simple tasks that falls by the wayside the fastest. But what happens when you run into the person whose calls you’ve not yet returned? What do you owe them? Take a few moments, while exchanging pleasantries, to assess your relationship with this person – do you want to give them a few minutes now for the Cliffs Notes catch up, or should you really schedule a coffee with them for when you’re both free? Whatever you do, don’t apologise for not returning the phone calls – because that will just remind them of the situation and put the onus on them to say “that’s okay”, which it might not be. Make it positive and light with a remark like, “This is lucky – you’ve just saved us catching up over the phone because here you are.” 2. Awkward acquaintance run-ins You know those times when you run into someone you know, but not well enough to ever seek out their company of your own volition? They’re always the ones you happen to run into on public transport, or simply walking down the street, making for some awkward conversational moments – especially if you’re travelling in the same direction. If you’ve exhausted your initial pleasantries and the thought of a floundering conversation about your friends in common exhausts you, then it’s time to politely bow out of the situation by excusing yourself to answer a call of nature at this convenient bathroom, or fulfilling your caffeine requirements by ducking into a café. 3. Appearance faux pas There’s something slightly embarrassing about someone you don’t know that well who seemingly hasn’t noticed that they have forgotten to zip their fly, or have food stuck in their teeth. But it can distract you from the conversation as you wonder whether or not to tell them about it. Well, here’s my expert (self-proclaimed) advice: if you’re in a big group, it’s best not to embarrass the person by pointing out the flaw. You’ll score no points with anyone for doing so. If a moment comes up when you can help them correct the situation without drawing attention, that’s great. But if it’s something that can’t be helped (e.g. an already set stain, or inappropriate clothing choice), then it’s best to leave it alone. 4. “How do I look?” Most of the time, this question is an easy one to answer, because it will usually come from a loved one who we love enough to gloss over any imperfections or fashion faux pas. But sometimes, it’s okay to be honest – so long as you to so tactfully. If you’re shopping, then the dressing room is the perfect place to help steer friends and family away from a fashion disaster. If something is too tight, or the colour is terrible, then you can blame the garment or brand with comments like, “this company runs so small – I never fit into any of their stuff”. Phrases like, “it doesn’t do anything for you” are a great way to remind the person that clothes should be accentuating their natural beauty and physique. If, however, this person is already dressed and out in public, or is in a time crunch and halfway out the door, then assure them they look nice, and perhaps schedule a shopping trip in the near future. What’s your most dreaded awkward moment and how do you handle it?

Relationships

How to handle 3 questions everyone hates

Whether it’s borne of a rebellious attitude towards social norms, some kind of hostility, or just plain cluelessness, there are so many reasons why someone you know (or don’t know) may ask you one of those personal, awkward, or downright rude questions you hate to answer. Despite the reason for or motivation behind the questioning, there always comes that moment when you have to respond in some way. To prepare you for those moments, we’ve got a few tips. How goes the hunt for love? As anyone who has read Bridget Jones’ Diary can tell you (or even those who live it on a daily basis), one of the most dreaded questions of many a single is the reason they aren’t partnered up. If you are confronted with this question, remember not to get frustrated – the reasoning is likely not malicious – so try to remain your poised, gracious self as you answer, “Why do you ask?” This simple response is the conversational equivalent of returning a blistering serve in tennis. It’s similarly personal, and will force your questioner to give a reason why you should answer. You take it from there – your reasons are your own. How much did you get? Questions about money are rarely appropriate, but surprisingly frequent with people you don’t know terribly well. There are a few options available to you in this case, and both are perfectly good. Use your best judgement: <ul> <li>Humorous responses can politely indicate that you don’t want to discuss money. Something like, “What am I paid? Only paid half what I’m worth.” Sure, it’s not a knee-slapper, but the asker should get the point. If they don’t;</li> <li>Try being direct but polite. Firm responses that you were taught to never discuss subjects like money should shut down the questioning, and make anyone in earshot think twice about prying in the future.</li> </ul> Have you lost weight? This is the backhanded way of telling someone they’re looking especially good today. Your asker may be looking for a few tips to help them on their own fitness journey, so if you have lost weight because of a new diet or exercise regime, you may want to discuss it with them. Otherwise, you can once again reflect the question upon the asker by replying with the same question about their weight. If it turns into an awkward silence, then it’s likely they didn’t have a strong reasoning behind asking, but if they reply with a story about their own weight loss, or lack thereof, then feel free to lead the conversation as you feel comfortable. What’s your best tip for handling those awkward moments when you don’t want to answer a question?

Relationships

When your partner’s health becomes too much to handle

As we age, health can become a serious issue in a relationship. Start by remembering these few basic tips. 1. Don't pretend that nothing has changed There’s no denying that your new reality is strange at best – and terrifying at worst. So you cannot go on pretending that things are as they have always been. You both need to be realistic about your new situation and make plans accordingly. Give yourself permission to feel anger, sadness, frustration or any other emotion you want. 2. Maintain some balance in the relationship When one partner is caring for the other, any sense of balance in the relationship can go straight out the window. It is important that the your still maintain some of their role in the relationship. You may not want to burden a sick person with your daily struggles or larger issues (like depression or anxiety) but you still need to be able to talk to them – and they to listen in return. Emotional closeness remains important even when a physical relationship has diminished. 3. Try not to become isolated It’s too easy to retreat from the world when your partner becomes sick (especially if they are housebound). You don't want to bore others with your constant talk of illness or you feel that you are physically unable to get out and about. Isolation is proven to lead to depression and other health issues, so make a concerted effort to stay connected to the outside world. 4. Don't neglect your own health When you are constantly dealing with the health issues of your partner, it is very easy to let your own health slide. Genuine problems might not seem so serious when compared to your partner’s illness or you might just be tired of dealing with doctors. You need to preserve your own health, regardless of how your partner is feeling. 5. Don't be afraid to ask for help You don’t have to face this alone. Help is out there if you are willing to ask. You can reach out to family members or close friends, or look for more professional help from the government or private services. Feeling that you are solely responsible for the health of your partner can be scary and isolating, so do both of you a favour and share the load. 6. Do things for yourself Make time for you – get outside and go for a walk, attend yoga classes, catch up with friends. Caring for another person is physically and emotionally draining, so you need to take some time out for yourself and do things that you enjoy. Don't feel guilty that your partner cannot join you. You are still an important person who deserves to be happy. Any advice contained in this communication is general advice only. None of the information provided is, or should be considered to be, personal financial advice.

Retirement Income

How happy couples handle arguments

Arguments are a part of life, but they don’t have to spell the end of a relationship. Follow these tactics from happy couples and learn to fight smart. They listen to each other Communication is the key to a happy relationship at the best of times, but it becomes even more important during an argument. Take time to genuinely listen to what the other person is saying and hear their point of view, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak again. Arguments quickly become worse when it is just two people yelling at each other without ever really listening. Take things slow, take turns and remember that everyone has a right to speak. They don’t run from it On the face of it, it might seem like avoiding arguments altogether is the best course of action. Not so. Leaving an issue to fester, unspoken, inevitably makes it worse. Rather than running from a fight, sit down with your partner and talk it through in a reasonable manner. That way, you will be able to come to some sort of resolution instead of just privately stewing over an issue. It's only a matter of time before it blows up in your face. They attack the problem not the person There’s a big difference between being angry at a person and being angry at their behaviour, and it’s important to keep a clear distinction. Remember that you and your partner are a team, not on opposing sides. Just because you disagree over something, no matter how large or small, doesn't change that. If a problem arises, you are better off focusing on how you can tackle it together instead of attacking the other person directly. They think about the big picture It’s only natural to want to win a fight, but what you should really be focusing on is letting the relationship win overall. It can be easy to get caught up in the minutiae of an argument, focusing on the little details and tiny slights you think have been delivered. But take a moment and see the bigger picture – do you want this relationship to end? If the answer is no, then you need to see this fight for what it is: a bump in the road that you can overcome together. They don’t get nasty This should go without saying but, sadly, it doesn’t. At no point do happy couples resort to name calling, threatening language, out of control yelling or physical violence. Don’t say something you can’t take back or that you will ultimately regret. Remember that, above all, you love each other and you want to be together. How do you handle arguments with your partner?

Relationships

Why some people handle stress better

When you watch the news it’s hard not to feel bombarded by the stories of horror, violence and sadness that plague our world. But some people can manage stress and negativity much better than others. “There is a drive to cope and to survive,” Rajita Sinha says. Sinha is the director of the Yale Stress Center and she is also the lead author of a new study about the brain’s response to stress. Using fMRI scans to watch how people’s brains reacted during stressful situations allowed Sinha and her team to determine why some people cope with stress more efficiently than others. The six-minute scans, conducted on 30 people, monitored the brain’s activity as they were shown images that were either stressful (scary images such as people being shot or stabbed) or neutral (such as a table or a lamp). “When you get stressed, it’s not brief – it goes on for a little bit,” Sinha explains. “And that’s the state in which the brain has to figure out what to do.” As well as the brain scans, the study asked the participants about their own mechanisms for coping with stress, such as their alcohol and food consumption. There was one particular area of the brain that the researchers became interested in during the study: the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that regulates emotions and detects hunger and cravings. Those with more neuroflexibility and neuroplasticity in this area tended to be at a lower risk for being binge drinkers and emotional eaters. They were also less likely to have emotionally destructive ways of coping with stress, according to Sinha. “The greater the magnitude of the change in the neural signal, the more active copers they were,” she says. The study’s results appear to suggest that resilience is determined by this part of the prefrontal cortex. Sinha feels that this is a great start to understanding resilience, although more research is required to work out how to improve it. “We have a natural circuitry to try to regain control and to be resilient,” Sinha says. “I think it’s tied to the survival processes that are hardwired, and this is what we’re tapping into.” Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/how-to-build-self-discipline-in-10-days/">How to build self-discipline in 10 days</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/bad-habits-that-are-actually-good/">7 “bad” habits that are actually good for you</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/4-proven-ways-to-worry-less/">4 proven ways to worry less</a>

Mind

Best ways to handle money on holidays

When travelling it’s important to have an easily-accessible, secure way to access funds. We’re going to look at the best ways to handle money on holidays. By planning in advance you should be able to easily access your funds with a minimum of fuss. 1. Make sure you’re using a money belt Odds are you’re going to want to have a little bit of cash on hand for other purchases, and a good way to manage this is a money belt. We’d recommend splitting your funds between your regular wallet and your money belt, and keeping your important cards with your money belt as well. This way you’re covered in the event of pickpockets. 2. Keep your cash stashed in different places And if you have withdrawn cash it’s a good idea to keep your cash stashed in a few different places, to reduce the impact of theft. Keep some in your wallet, some in your money belt and some in more creative places like a sock in your suitcase, the hotel room safe or even wedged in the sole of your shoe. That being said, it’s also equally important to make sure you’re discreet when storing your money in these different places! 3. Keep your eye on your transactions It’s convenient to be able to withdraw cash from millions of ATMs around the world, but it’s also quite important to keep an eye on your transactions. By being aware of how much money is moving in and out of your account, you can be confident that you’ll be able to spot the precise moment you become victim to ATM fraud. When you’re taking a holiday overseas, do you take any measures to make sure your money is safe? What would you recommend other travellers do? Let us know in the comments below. Related links: <a href="/travel/travel-tips/2016/06/10-secret-travel-tips-that-will-save-you-money/">10 secret travel tips that will save you money</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-tips/2015/08/tips-to-stop-overspending-on-holiday/">7 ways to avoid overspending on holiday</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-tips/2016/06/10-secret-travel-tips-that-will-save-you-money/">How to keep your money safe while travelling</a>

International Travel

Tips for handling airports with mobility issues

One of the biggest things that discourages people with mobility issues from travelling alone is the prospect of having to make their way through a densely packed airport. The thing is, many of these issues are actually easily navigated. There’s no reason mobility issues should put the brakes on your travel plans, and if you take the following measures you should be able to handle even the most intimidating airports. 1. Preparation is key Research and planning preparation is key to success when managing an airport run. Contact your airport ahead of time and see what restrictions they have for mobility assistance devices like wheelchairs and walking frames. Also, it’s a good idea to make sure your bags are weighed and your documents are so once you’re front of line you’re ready to go. 2. Choose a departure time that will be manageable As part of your preparation, try to choose a departure time that will be manageable. Not just in terms of how crowded the airport will be, but how much time it will afford you to get through for preparation, arrival and getting checked through all the various points. If you’re not sure what the best time is, contact the airline you plan to travel with. 3. Request special boarding assistance Depending on the nature of your mobility issue airports and airlines are generally more than accommodating, so if you think you’re going to need a bit of extra help don’t be afraid to ask. Call the airport and your airline ahead of time requesting extra assistance not only makes the boarding process easier for you, but for everyone at the airport. Are you someone who’s affected by mobility issues? And how has the condition affected travel for you? Are there any extra measures you take? Please share your story in the comments below. Related links: <a href="/travel/travel-tips/2016/06/5-international-cities-you-should-never-visit-alone/">5 international cities you should never visit alone</a> <a href="/travel/travel-tips/2016/06/23-items-you-must-have-in-your-carry-on-luggage/">23 items you must have in your carry-on luggage</a> <a href="/travel/travel-tips/2016/06/uncover-your-family-history-with-genealogical-travel/">Uncover your family history with genealogical travel</a>

Travel Tips

How to help grandkids handle long flights

Travel is an incredible experience to give your grandchildren, but even at the best of times they can become restless, particularly on longer flights. We’ve put together some tips for helping grandkids handle long flights. Providing an extra set of hands you can make the experience easier for everyone. 1. Pick an evening flight Picking a later, evening flight ensures kids stay closer to their sleep schedule, adjust to the new time zone and eliminate the effects of jet leg. A good idea to help this is starting their usual bedtime routine at the airport before boarding a flight. 2. Sit in the middle seat While it’s arguably the most uncomfortable seat to choose on the plan, taking one for the team and sitting in the dreaded middle seat will make it much easier for your grandchildren to calm down and ensure they don’t have to potentially sit next to a stranger. 3. Try to keep them distracted It can be quite difficult for children to be confined to the one spot for a long period of time, particularly if they’re not used to, so try to distract them with toys, magazines, books and even the inflight entertainment wherever possible. 4. Keep them well fed Try to give older grandkids foods that will help them sleep. Think slow-release carbohydrates like oatmeal. These foods are well-liked and digested very easily. Try to pack a variety of snacks too, which is especially important for fussy eaters. 5. Create a relaxing onboard environment On flights there can be a lot of stimulating foreign experiences, so try to calm them down by blacking out the area where they’re supposed to sleep when its bedtime and do everything you can to create a relaxing onboard environment to help calm them down. Have you ever travelled with your grandchildren? Do you have any specific tips to help them calm down? Please let us know in the comments below. Related links: <a href="/news/news/2016/05/duke-and-duchess-of-cambridge-pet-names/">Revealed: the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s nicknames for each other</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/05/what-you-didnt-notice-about-this-royal-photo/">The one thing no one noticed about this royal photo</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/05/10-photos-of-the-royal-family-at-the-chelsea-flower-show/">10 best photos of the Royal Family at the 2016 Chelsea Flower Show</a>

News

Turn old spoons into cupboard handles

If you’ve got some old, mismatched spoons sitting in your drawers, you might want to think about giving them a new lease on life by putting them on display as eye-catching cupboard handles. What you’ll need: <ul> <li>Silver plate spoons (stainless steel will work, but require more effort to flatten and shape)</li> <li>Rubber mallet</li> <li>Screws</li> <li>Drill with metal drill bit</li> <li>Block of scrap wood</li> <li>Strong tape</li> </ul> Method: <ol> <li>Use your rubber mallet to flatten the head of your spoon (don’t use a normal hammer, as you will damage the silver). You probably won’t be able to get a completely flat surface, but that makes the project more fun and beautiful.</li> <li>Use your hands to bend a ridge in the middle of the spoon until it resembles a cupboard handle.</li> <li>Use tape to attach the spoon to a block of wood and drill holes at the top and bottom of the spoon.</li> <li>Use screws to attach the spoon to your cupboard doors.</li> </ol>

Home & Garden

Do you know how to save a life? Tops tips for handling emergencies

Knowing what to do in an emergency is a valuable skill. While it can be scary sometimes to deal with serious injuries or accidents, keeping calm is the first step to limit the damage and keep everyone safe. If someone is injured there are some things to note before you step in to help. Check the risk Always make sure it is safe for you to help the person. Look around and listen for signs of danger, such as oncoming traffic, broken glass, or other injured people. Ensure that the scene is safe before you go to check on them and call the emergency services. Only move the person if they are in danger where they are currently positioned. Check if they’re conscious You can work out how serious things are by determining whether the person is conscious or not. Ask the person if they are alright and whether they can open their eyes. If they can, you know they’re conscious. If there’s no response, shake their shoulders gently and ask the questions again. If it is a child, tap their shoulder. For a baby, tap their foot. Stay in control You may be very worried or anxious, but for everyone’s sake it’s important to stay calm and in control of the situation. If it is a stranger, introduce yourself and let them know what is happening. Avoid spreading germs Wash your hands or use sanitiser before approaching the injured person. Avoid touching an open wound without gloves. Don’t let anyone cough, sneeze or breathe over an open wound as this can spread infection. Get help If you can see they need help right away, call 000. If you can see that it's serious but unlikely to get worse by moving them, take them to the nearest hospital. If it is a minor injury, advise them to go and see their GP right away. Help them contact a friend or relative to come and support them if necessary. Stay with them until they get help.

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How do I handle it if my parent is refusing aged care? 4 things to consider

Solemnity and celebration: how political cartoonists have handled the death of a monarch, from Victoria to Elizabeth II