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Traveller shares hilarious hack to ensure the middle seat on a plane stays empty

<p>There is nothing more joyous than boarding a plane and being seated next to an empty seat, ensuring you have a comfy flight by not being squished in with other travellers. </p> <p>But with this joy can also come sheer disappointment, when you get comfy in your extra space before a last-minute traveller comes to claim the empty seat.</p> <p>To combat the chance of someone robbing you of your space on a cramped plane, one traveller has shared the hilarious lengths he goes to in order to make sure the middle seat on a plane stays empty. </p> <p>The traveller posted the video of his hilarious hack to TikTok, sharing his trick with others to guarantee some extra space every time you fly.</p> <p>He put his arm upright inside a spare hoodie, placing a hat on top of his hand, to make it look like the seat was already occupied – preventing anyone else from taking that spot.</p> <p>The video has since been taken down, but has been reshared by other accounts.</p> <p>Of course, this hack only works on flights that have open seating policies, where passengers choose their own seats once on board, rather than having them assigned.</p> <p>The trick seems to work, with passengers avoiding his row and taking up empty seats elsewhere. </p> <p>Some viewers called the hack "genius" and said they would try it out for themselves next time they travel. </p> <p>However, others were skeptical, wondering how the trick would work if passengers eager to be seated are walking towards the two front on, rather than from behind. </p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Tips

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How to downsize without leaving the suburb you love

<p>If you find yourself rattling around in a home that now has too many rooms to clean, and you’d prefer to spend more time doing things you love rather than household chores, it might be time to downsize. Not only can downsizing your property simplify your lifestyle, it has the potential to free up some funds as well. If you manage your ‘empty nester’ status well, it can become a profitable nest egg!</p> <p>But downsizing to a smaller home can be a daunting process. You may not be ready for the close proximity of a retirement village, nor are you keen to leave the neighbourhood you love. You have great neighbours, you’re close to family, and you have all the amenities you want nearby, but your house just doesn’t suit your lifestyle anymore.</p> <p>So, what are your options? There are in fact a couple of great alternatives to packing up and leaving everything you’ve known behind: building a dual occupancy home or a knockdown rebuild on your existing block of land.</p> <p><strong>What is a dual occupancy development?</strong></p> <p>A dual occupancy home design, also known as a ‘duplex’ or ‘multi-dwelling’, can come in a variety of layouts: either two attached dwellings side by side, where both properties have street frontage, or one behind the other, where there’s a driveway down one side of the property. A dual occupancy home is a great consideration for those who:</p> <ul> <li>Want to remain in the same area but don’t need as big a house.</li> <li>Want a low maintenance lifestyle.</li> <li>Have a large block in an area where land prices are increasing.</li> <li>Want to realise some of the equity in the land.</li> <li>Want to create an ongoing income stream through an investment property.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Unlocking wealth with a dual occupancy home design</strong></p> <p>The Australian property boom has made many people many millions. But the fact is that the wealth lies in the land not in the dwellings themselves. Many people who have owned a slice of the Aussie Dream for more than 10-15 years are sitting on potential gold, however all their equity is tied up in the land beneath their house. For empty nesters that are ready to downsize, this offers enormous opportunity.</p> <p>It’s no surprise that dual occupancy house designs are increasing in popularity. There are a number of ways you can capitalise on this opportunity:</p> <ul> <li>Live in one house and sell the other.</li> <li>Live in one house, then rent the other one. This provides a potential income stream and is particularly great if your property is in an area where rental supply is low.</li> <li>Sell both houses and live somewhere else. This option works well in areas where housing stock is low and demand is high – and when you’re prepared to find somewhere else to live!</li> </ul> <p>There are some design limitations when it comes to building a dual occupancy home due to the somewhat restricted footprint, and a number of things to consider such as the size of your block, street frontage, driveways and council approvals. Thankfully however, experienced homebuilders such as Metricon have the expertise and know-how to provide you the guidance you need to make the most of your asset.</p> <p><strong>Knockdown rebuild – build a brand-new home, wherever suits your lifestyle</strong></p> <p>“Don’t move your life, improve your life!” is a fitting motto for those looking to take advantage of their great location by building a more suitable home for their life stage. If you really love where you live but your home just isn’t right for you any more, then there are two likely options: a renovation or a knockdown rebuild.</p> <p>A knockdown rebuild is especially a great option when you are looking to downsize – such as replacing your double storey home with a more suitable single storey option. Perhaps you are weighing up the option of moving but also hoping to build new. Let’s explore your options.</p> <p><strong>To renovate or rebuild?</strong></p> <p>Before jumping on the renovation bandwagon, assuming it is an easier option, there are a few factors to consider that may ultimately influence your decision. These can include: the extent of your renovation, the comparable costs between renovating and rebuilding, and the expected increase in value of your property. Other factors such as the condition of your home (some old homes can’t cope with structural changes), and ongoing expense (a new home is typically cheaper to maintain than an older home), may preclude you from renovating.</p> <p>Renovating can often result in unforeseen cost blowouts and uncover previously hidden or undiscovered faults. There’s also the hassle of shifting furniture, isolating rooms, living in only part of your home or moving out completely during the renovation. A knockdown rebuild however, may be easier and deliver a more satisfying result than you think: a brand-new home where everything is clean and reliable, in a floorplan that matches your desired lifestyle perfectly.</p> <p><strong>Re-locating and building new</strong></p> <p>If you’re looking for a complete lifestyle change when downsizing, perhaps weighing up the options of a sea or tree change, you can have the best of both worlds and build your dream home to perfectly suit your new location. </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Downsizing

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(H)anger is real: your bad mood and empty stomach are linked

<div class="copy"> <p>Grumpy? Long time between meals? Well now you can cheer up, thanks to a new study validating the link between your cranky mood and grumbly belly – your ‘hanger’ is real.</p> <p>Psychologists studying a group of primarily Austrian, German and Swiss adults have found an association between self-reported hunger, and heightened levels of anger and irritability.</p> <p>Helping people understand their own emotional responses to feelings of hunger could help them better regulate their behaviour, says Anglia Ruskin University professor in social psychology Viren Swami.</p> <p>“Research suggests that being able to label an emotion can help people to regulate it,” says Swami, who was the lead author of the study <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269629" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in <em>Plos One</em>. “Therefore, greater awareness of being ‘hangry’ could reduce the likelihood that hunger results in negative emotions and behaviours in individuals.”</p> <p>The three-week study monitored 64 participants who submitted five daily reports to researchers via a smartphone app.</p> <p>In each report, participants used a 0–100 scale to evaluate how hungry, irritable and angry they felt.</p> <p>Even when accounting for demographic differences between participants, there was an association between hunger and heightened levels of irritability, anger and reduced feelings of pleasure.</p> <p>It’s the first time the phenomenon has been investigated outside of a laboratory environment and adds to an existing body of research showing that declines in blood glucose levels influences negative emotions.</p> <p>“This ‘hangry’ effect hasn’t been analysed in detail, so we chose a field-based approach where participants were invited to respond to prompts,” explains study co-author Stefan Stieger, professor of psychology at Karl Landsteiner University.</p> <p>“[It gives] a much more complete picture of how people experience the emotional outcomes of hunger in their everyday lives.”</p> <p>The researchers didn’t offer conclusions as to how to mitigate hunger-induced feelings. Reaching for a banana next time you feel cross is probably a safe bet.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em><img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=197455&amp;title=%28H%29anger+is+real%3A+your+bad+mood+and+empty+stomach+are+linked" width="1" height="1" /></em></div> <div id="contributors"> <p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/body-and-mind/hanger-is-real/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Matthew Agius. </em></p> </div>

Mind

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Why major airlines are flying empty planes

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In order to keep prized departure and landing times at major airports, some of Europe’s biggest airlines have been forced to fly empty planes. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Europe’s second largest air carrier, Germany-based Lufthansa, reported they had operated over 18,000 “ghost flights” through winter, despite the devastating pollution effects of these flights directly opposing Europe’s climate goals. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg shared news of the “ghost flights” on twitter, adding, “The EU surely is in a climate emergency mode…”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Due to severely decreased demand for air travel, Lufthansa called for more short-term flexibility on airport time slots. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Without this crisis-related flexibility, airlines are forced to fly with planes almost empty, just to secure their slots,” it said. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Still operating in a pre-pandemic mindset, the “use-it-or-lose-it” rule forces airlines to use at least 80% of their allocated slots to keep their flight times. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">These rules ensure major airlines are not able to hog valuable flying times, which boxes out smaller airlines from emerging.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">News of the ghost flights has prompted Stefan De Keersmaecker, a senior spokesperson of the European Commission, to refute these claims online. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Stefan cited data from Eurocontrol which reported the first weeks of traffic in 2022 was at 77% of pre-pandemic rates. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“In addition to the lower slot use rates, companies may also request a ‘justified non-use exception’ – to not use a slot – if the route cannot be operated because of sanitary measures, e.g. when new variants emerge during the pandemic,” he shared on Twitter.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“EU rules therefore do not oblige airlines to fly or to keep empty planes in the air. Deciding to operate routes or not is a commercial decision by the airline company and not a result of EU rules.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credits: Getty Images</span></em></p>

Travel Tips

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Coronavirus could turn cities into doughnuts: empty centres but vibrant suburbs

<div class="grid-ten large-grid-nine grid-last content-body content entry-content instapaper_body inline-promos"> <p>The most COVID-19 lockdowns were accompanied by sobering news from the UK’s high streets. The Arcadia Group, which owns some of the UK’s most iconic high street clothing retail outlets – Topshop, Topman and Dorothy Perkins, among others – has gone into administration.</p> <p>Meanwhile, the UK’s oldest retail chain, Debenhams, is closing. Around 12,000 people are set to lose their jobs, on top of 6,500 already lost this year, after efforts to rescue the retailer fell through.</p> <p>All of this comes at the end of a decade that saw a major decline of British high streets. Since 2007, some 556 retail companies have failed, with the closure of almost 39,100 stores and the loss of 468,809 jobs as shoppers move online.</p> <p>These impacts vary geographically. Many of the closures are concentrated in city centres. But beyond the city core, there remains the prospect that smaller town centres and suburban high streets might emerge stronger in 2021 as people learn to love shopping locally again.</p> <p><strong>A downwards trend</strong></p> </div> <div class="grid-ten grid-prepend-two large-grid-nine grid-last content-topics topic-list"> <p>Long before the pandemic, high street retailers were facing stiff competition from out-of-town shopping centres and, more importantly, online retailing.</p> <p>According to the UK’s Office for National Statistics, online sales in November 2006 totalled 2.8% of all retail sales. The latest data shows that online sales in October 2020 amounted to 28.1% of total retail sales – but this had already risen to 21.5% in November 2019, before COVID-19 reached the UK.</p> <p>The pandemic has exacerbated the downwards slide of high streets. Thousands of the shops closed in March 2020 have not reopened.</p> <p>But there are markedly different patterns from town to town. Local high streets with more convenience shopping, hot food takeaways and other essential businesses have generally performed much better than city centres dominated by department stores and shops selling higher-value items.</p> <p>Take Greater Manchester, for example. Google’s Community Mobility data shows that visitor numbers to retail and recreation spaces in smaller town centres like Bury and Rochdale have recovered faster. In contrast, Manchester city centre has continued to perform much more poorly as commuters continue to work at home and avoid public transport.</p> <p>It may actually be that COVID-19 has encouraged more people to shop locally, and that they have begun to see more value in their local town centres. This raises a fundamental question about the future of city centre retailing.</p> <p>London provides a good example. Now that the first COVID vaccine has been approved by the UK government, central London will undoubtedly eventually return to some of its former vitality, attracting tourists and other visitors to enjoy its eclectic night-time economy, theatres, galleries and museums.</p> <p>But, if more people prefer to work at home and not head into central London from the suburbs, the retail retraction we have witnessed in 2020 will only worsen.</p> <p><strong>Hollow cities</strong></p> <p>Retail and recreation visitor numbers in central London – the City of Westminster and the City of London – have been particularly affected by COVID-19 when compared to the wider city.</p> <p>Overall average daily visitor numbers to retail and recreation spaces within Westminster and the City of London fell by 70.6% and 76.7% respectively between February 15 and November 24 2020. The most recent lockdown, which commenced on November 5, saw retail and recreation visitor numbers fall to 90%-92% below pre-COVID levels.</p> <p>In comparison, overall average retail and recreation visitor numbers in inner London and outer London councils were down by 54.9% and 38.4% respectively. Our mapping of the impact of COVID-19 on visitor journeys to retail and recreation places across London effectively reveals a “doughnut city”: shoppers have abandoned the centre, while suburbs have remained rather more resilient.</p> <p>The future of city centre high streets after COVID-19 is uncertain. One answer would be to suggest the cities will bounce back as vaccinated workers and shoppers return, and that their shopping streets will live on.</p> <p>However, this does not take into account the scars left by COVID-19. Take London’s iconic Oxford Street as an example. Since late March, department store John Lewis has halved the size of its Oxford Street store. House of Fraser, another department store, is to be part-repurposed as offices and a gym. Topshop’s flagship store on the street is at risk of closure.</p> <p>With online retail behemoth Amazon emerging as one of the only winners of COVID-19, we have to be realistic about the future of central London as a shopping hub.</p> <p>Retail rents are declining fast in the West End, and it is likely that prime retail sites will be converted to offices or even homes. The UK government has already loosened planning regulations that permits the conversion of shops to residential uses without planning permission – all part of the drive to solve the housing crisis.</p> <p>We are witnessing a switch in the use of urban space, as people working from home increasingly spend time, and money, outside city centres. The hope is that smaller high streets and those local centres most valued as hubs of community life, not just places of consumption, will witness a renaissance in 2021. The viability of larger centres – Birmingham, Manchester, and especially London – looks to have fundamentally unravelled.</p> <p class="p1"><em>Written by Paul J. Maginn and Philip Hubbard. This article first appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-could-turn-cities-into-doughnuts-empty-centres-but-vibrant-suburbs-151406">The Conversation</a>.</em></p> </div>

International Travel

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How captive animals are coping with the sudden emptiness of the world’s zoos and aquariums

<p>More than 700 million people visit zoos and aquariums each year <a href="https://www.waza.org/">worldwide</a>, so human visitors are usually a constant presence for the animals that live there. But the COVID-19 pandemic has forced these places to close to the public, plunging resident animals into an empty silence.</p> <p>Instead, zoos have been opening virtually during the lockdown, allowing people to see behind the closed doors from the comfort of their living rooms. Chester Zoo in the UK hosted an online tour so popular that it “<a href="https://www.cheshire-live.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/relive-chester-zoos-first-ever-18006186">broke the internet when it went viral</a>” according to one zookeeper, with hundreds of thousands of people worldwide flocking to the zoo’s Facebook page.</p> <p>Zoo workers have described how animals are greeting the isolation during COVID-19 closures. One zoo in India reported that animals were “<a href="https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/call-of-the-wild-quiet-brings-out-animal-instincts-at-zoo/articleshow/75665638.cms">loving the quiet spell</a>” – foxes were “frolicking around”, the hippopotamus was happily splashing in its pool and even the tigers were enjoying a dip. In other zoos, animals seem to be <a href="https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/local-news/animals-twycross-zoo-are-missing-4119435">missing people</a>. Twycross Zoo’s curator reported primates looking for zoo visitors, for instance.</p> <p>Some zoo animals are forgetting all about their previous lives, with garden eels at one Japanese aquarium hiding when staff members approached their enclosure. Workers have asked the public to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/01/japanese-aquarium-urges-public-to-video-chat-eels-who-are-forgetting-humans-exist">make video calls to their eels</a>, to try and prevent them from seeing visitors as a threat when the aquarium reopens. Meanwhile, some animals are enjoying the freedom of daily zoo walks, like the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVfTGFBJ8a8">penguins at the Shedd Aquarium</a> in Chicago, which were let out to wander the empty halls and look into the other enclosures.</p> <p>Is this reprieve from regular visitors healthy for zoo animals? And how will they respond to people suddenly flooding back once zoos reopen? Researchers and animal charities are worried that our pets will develop <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dogs-trust-separation-anxiety-pets-coronavirus-lockdown-a9477541.html">separation anxiety once their owners return to work</a>. The opposite might happen among zoo animals. Will captive creatures be desperate for the public to return or have they adapted to a slower, quieter life?</p> <p><strong>When zoos reopen</strong></p> <p>As zoos that have closed for months <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/coronavirus-lockdown-europe-austria-pools-zoos-opened-a4426021.html">reopen their doors</a>, we have an opportunity to study how visitors influence the lives of zoo animals. While we can’t predict the future, previous research on how zoo animals have responded to changes in visitor schedules might give us some idea of what to expect.</p> <p>During the night, zoo animals are used to relative peace and quiet. For many, beyond the odd security warden, there are no visitors. But before COVID-19, some zoos did open their doors outside of normal opening hours, for <a href="https://www.colchester-zoo.com/event/starlight-safari-night-2/">late-night tours</a> and <a href="https://twycrosszoo.org/events/twycross-zoo-safari-sleepover-camping-experience/">overnight camps</a>.</p> <p>Typically, we study animal behaviours to understand how they may be feeling and try to make judgements about their experiences. From that, we can say that zoo animals have tended to show mixed responses to evening events. A <a href="http://www.rhinoresourcecenter.com/pdf_files/142/1422582743.pdf">study</a> at a zoo in Germany found that elephants sought comfort from others in their herd during an evening firework display, but they didn’t retreat into their indoor enclosures. <a href="https://www.hindawi.com/journals/vmi/2017/6585380/">Researchers</a> at London Zoo noticed no changes in the behaviour of lions during sunset safaris, on evenings when the zoo was open for visitors until 10pm, compared to their behaviour during normal opening hours.</p> <p>Across the board, changes in the usual routines of zoo animals affect different species in different ways. The quiet caused by vanished visitors might mean more animals performing attention-seeking behaviours to try and interact with visitors more than normal, as keepers have reported chimpanzees doing <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/US/life-covid-19-animals-zookeepers-maryland-zoo/story?id=70422788">during lockdown</a>, as they reach out towards workers who would usually feed them by hand. It may also cause them to be overly skittish to human visitors when they return, like the garden eels in Japan.</p> <p>This is the longest time many zoo animals will have gone without the public, and zoo staff will have to help them transition back to normal life. Most zoos are planning <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-52493750">phased reopenings</a> of animal houses to prevent the sudden changes in noise disturbing the animals.</p> <p>Some animals, especially those born during the COVID-19 lockdown, will never have experienced life in the public eye. Many up-close animal encounters <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-zoos-must-change-to-keep-great-apes-safe-from-coronavirus-134692">will have to change</a>, particularly as <a href="https://theconversation.com/transmission-of-diseases-from-humans-to-apes-why-extra-vigilance-is-now-needed-134083">humans can transmit coronaviruses to great apes</a> in captivity.</p> <p>On your next visit, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-behave-at-a-zoo-according-to-science-73873">be cool, calm and collected</a>. Keepers and other zoo staff will be on hand to guide you, helping enforce social distancing and supporting you on how best to behave around the animals. Your local zoo will need visitors more than ever when they reopen. But remember, zoo animals will be experiencing their own post lockdown fuzz, and, just like you, they may need time to adjust.</p> <p><em>Written by Ellen Williams and Jessica Rendle. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-captive-animals-are-coping-with-the-sudden-emptiness-of-the-worlds-zoos-and-aquariums-138668">The Conversation.</a> </em></p> <p><em> </em></p>

Travel Tips

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What to do when the ‘nest won’t empty’

<p>Having adult children living at home may be a mutually beneficial situation for many of us, but for others it can present real difficulties that threaten relationships and make life unpleasant. This is can be a genuine issue for many of us who are approaching or are in retirement</p> <p><strong><em>What exactly is a KIPPER?</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings</em></strong></p> <p>Of course, you never stop being a parent and it is important to be supportive when one of your children, or a member of your family genuinely needs your help.</p> <p>It can be difficult when financial problems or job loss may have led your adult offspring back to your doorstep, or a relationship breakdown may see them suddenly without a home to go to. In some cases they may never have left home in the first place or may be ‘boomerang’ kids who return home several times. Negotiating this situation to ensure you are all ok and your relationship survives the experience is paramount.</p> <p><strong><em>What are Boomerang kids? </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> Children who leave home and return several times</em></strong></p> <p>Whatever the reason, it can be an awkward situation if the negatives start outweighing the positives and you still love them (but secretly are ready for them to move out).</p> <p>Of course it is natural to want to provide refuge if your own flesh and blood is in a time of crisis, but setting the boundaries and expectations for how the arrangement will work and how long it will last is often something that is left open ended and without any discussion or agreement. This can lead to tension and misunderstanding and may be ultimately detrimental to both the host and the guest.</p> <p>The situation may even escalate to the point where an adult child is unfairly taking advantage of the hospitality without any financial contribution or even a willingness to help around the home. In extreme cases there may be veiled hostility, lack of respect or even abuse involved.</p> <p>So does a parent in this situation go about administering ‘tough love’ when things go off the rails?</p> <p><strong><em>If it costs you roughly $150 extra each week to have an adult child living at home that adds up to a whopping $7,800 per year!</em></strong></p> <p><strong>Realising that it’s OK to say “no”</strong><br />Technically speaking, once children reach adulthood then the parent no longer has an obligation to care for them. Of course in reality it would be unnatural to suddenly give up any sense of care about the relationship, but in the end it is a parent’s right to say whether their child should live with them or not.</p> <p><strong>Setting the ground rules</strong><br />If a decision is made that an adult child is to be allowed to stay in the home then it is of course preferable if some ground rules can be set out in advance. Prevention is always better than cure. It might sound harsh at first, but a written agreement that both parties commit to is completely appropriate.</p> <p>It will provide the clarity that is so vital to the arrangement being workable and it eliminates assumptions, misconceptions and misunderstanding that may occur down the track.</p> <p><strong><em>31% of people aged 20–34 have left home and returned </em></strong></p> <p>Such an agreement should outline the limitations and expectations, including these top 5 tips:</p> <p>1. The length of stay and what they need to contribute financially during that time (e.g. contribution for rent, food and utilities).</p> <p>2. The expectations on domestic duties, such as cleaning, cooking and laundry.</p> <p>3. What happens if something breaks? Will they be allowed to use your car and if so, will their name be added to your car insurance policy?</p> <p>4. Lifestyle issues, such as rules around friends, dates or visiting partners; cooking, smoking, drinking and music.</p> <p>5. The consequences of the agreement being broken, such as how much notice is provided for them to vacate.</p> <p>It may seem heavy handed to have a formalised and signed agreement, but it can actually help the relationship on both sides by identifying the practical issues and dealing with them in a cool and objective way, rather than leaving them to chance. It may well be the case that the child has not even considered such issues and they may even appreciate that their contribution to the arrangement has been spelled out.</p> <p>Of course, you never stop being a parent and it is important to be supportive when one of your children genuinely needs your help</p> <p><strong>What if you want them to leave?</strong><br />The bottom line is that it always remains the parent’s right to invite a family member in or ask them to leave. It is also valid for a parent to change their mind and ask someone to leave, even if they had invited them in the first place.</p> <p>Of course it is one thing to know your rights and another to actually take the sometimes difficult step of asking an adult child to leave if co-habitation becomes unworkable. Once a person decides that there is no alternative but to ask the child to leave, then it needs to be done very carefully. Making such a request in the heat of an argument or when one of the parties is not fully attentive will be counterproductive.</p> <p>The best idea is to set aside a specific time to talk when things are calm and without distraction. The request should be made directly and firmly but with calm composure and free from aggression or emotion. A specific and reasonable time frame should be stated and a commitment sought, so that there are no ambiguities or misunderstandings.</p> <p><strong>Mediation is the next step</strong><br />If talking directly with the child does not bring a resolution, then the next step may be to seek independent dispute resolution, which can be provided through various state and territory government agencies. Such services go under different names in each state, such as “Family Dispute Unit”, “Community Justice Centre” or “Mediation Service”.</p> <p>These services offer a great alternative to resolve issues without going to court, if both parties voluntarily choose to attend. They do not provide legally binding rulings or orders, but are designed to help negotiate an agreement in good faith in a safe, neutral and non-biased environment.</p> <p><strong>Legal action is a last resort</strong><br />If mediation does not produce a result then the parent may need to resort to legal action against the child. This may take various forms, depending on the severity and nature of the situation. For example, is the child a tenant, a boarder or a lodger? Have they made threats against the parent? Has any actual harm been perpetrated?</p> <p>The variety of possibilities means that legal advice needs to be sought to determine the best course of action.</p> <p>Once a matter goes to court then a ruling can be applied if your case is successful, such as an 'exclusion order' requiring the child to move out of the home and prohibit them from approaching the property.</p> <p><strong>Acting early can make all the difference</strong><br />As with any family situation, clear and calm communication is the key to success. A little forward planning can eliminate a lot of pain in the future, so taking the time and effort to set up a written agreement is well worth it.</p> <p>It may be difficult or embarrassing to talk about with friends or family about how you are financially supporting an adult child over an extended period of time. However, there is help at hand. If you find the thought of confronting your adult child too traumatic then consider speaking to a psychologist to help you through the process. To find a local psychologist speak to your GP and visit <a href="http://www.psychology.org.au/FaP/">psychology.org.au</a></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Google Maps fail leads nearly 100 drivers to an empty field

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Nearly 100 Colorado drivers were misled by Google Maps last week as a car crash on the road leading to Denver International Airport caused the app to provide people with a detour.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a rush to get to the airport on time for their flights, many went via a narrow dirt road suggested by the app.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">According to </span><a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2019/06/26/us/google-maps-detour-colorado-trnd/index.html"><span style="font-weight: 400;">CNN</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">, cars began sliding down the dirt road, which turned into a muddy mess.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Some cars got stuck, which caused a traffic jam.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There were a bunch of other cars going down (the dirt road) too, so I said, ‘I guess it’s OK.’ It was not OK,” one driver, Connie Monsees, told </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">CNN</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Once you were on the dirt road, there was nowhere to make a U-turn.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The question is, why did Google send us out there to begin with? There was no turning back once you were out there,” Connie said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She ended up with a semi-damaged vehicle and two extra passengers, as she kindly offered two others a lift to the airport.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Google Maps addressed the situation in a statement to </span><a href="https://abcnews.go.com/US/google-maps-shortcut-colorado-turns-muddy-mess-hundred/story?id=63946068"><span style="font-weight: 400;">ABC News</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">:</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“We take many factors into account when determining driving routes, including the size of the road and the directness of the route.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“While we always work to provide the best directions, issues can arise due to unforeseen circumstances such as weather. We encourage all drivers to follow local laws, stay attentive, and use their best judgment while driving.” </span></p>

Travel Trouble

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Why you shouldn't throw away empty prepaid cards

<p><span>You may come into possession of a prepaid debit card through many different ways – perhaps you purchased it to keep your transactions secure and under control, or maybe it had been gifted to you. No matter how you use it, you might want to keep the card even after the balance is completely spent.</span></p> <p><span>Many people often would simply choose to declutter their wallet and throw out the card as soon as it is emptied out of instinct. However, it might be worth hanging onto – even when it’s used up, there are some reasons why keeping it may be beneficial or even necessary. Here are some situations where a used-up card may come in handy.</span></p> <p><strong><span>When you need a “dummy”</span></strong></p> <p><span>Many free trial programs require you to give out credit card details, so that you can be charged once the try-out period expires. Instead of putting reminders, you can avoid these unwanted charges by putting in the info of your empty prepaid card. </span></p> <p><strong><span>When you need to get a refund</span></strong></p> <p><span>Looking to get something returned to the store? If you are eligible for a refund or rebate, it often goes directly onto the card. The merchant might not be able to process it otherwise, as many banks have a matched refund policy to prevent fraudulent transactions. So if the card you used to purchase has been thrown away, you may have little luck re-accessing your money.</span></p>

Retirement Income

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Where to eat in Sydney – without emptying your wallet

<p>Sydney is as big a tourist drawcard as Paris and San Francisco. And like those other cities it’s easy to seek a meal near the city’s highlights only to find every other diner is a visitor to the city, too. So where do the locals go?</p> <p>This is not a matter merely of price. Some of the most expensive restaurants in Sydney are good value for money and some of the cheapest are just that for a reason.</p> <p>There are also some restaurants, bars and gelataria that are “flavour of the month/day/week/hour” where the queues never end – certainly not to dine when you want to eat. Here, the WYZA team have asked foodie friends and come up with a range of restaurants in places visitors are likely to go – or should visit.</p> <p>If you are serious about Sydney as a food destination (and that’s reasonable as a travel quest) the best place to start is the Fairfax 2017 Good Food Guide. It has been extended to include bars, cheap eats and cafes. And you’ll probably already have your own favourite foodie website such as Sydney-based Lorraine Elliott’s Not Quite Nigella.</p> <p>The first recommendation from locals was a surprise but it shouldn’t have been. If you are up around the Australian Museum or Hyde Park, consider heading to Sydney institution Beppi’s. Although Beppi Polese is no longer with us, his family-run trattoria in Darlinghurst maintains his standards – as it has since he opened it in 1956. It’s the only restaurant that appeared in both the first and 30th edition of the Good Food Guide. It’s not cheap, but it reflects Sydney’s historical and contemporary Italian dining heritage.</p> <p>At the other end of the timeline, it’s worth wandering past Central Railway down Broadway towards the World Square development then turn left into Kensington Street and the newly opened Spice Alley. Suddenly you feel like you’re in the back streets of Singapore with a wide range of Asia foods available very cheaply from the tiny vendor windows. You might have to battle for a seat but you won’t be waiting long for a very fresh meal.</p> <p>The Royal Botanical Gardens are not only the oldest scientific institution in Australia, but they may be the most beautiful, and the setting on the waterfront of Sydney Harbour is hard to beat. On a sunny day, a walk through the gardens for lunch at the indoor/outdoor Botanic Gardens Restaurant is a great Sydney experience. The food is seriously good (although not cheap) and the surrounds are superb.</p> <p>In Sydney to board a cruise ship? If the ship is too large to fit under the bridge (and most are) you’ll be at the Overseas Passenger Terminal at Circular Quay. You’ll also be next door to Sydney’s best restaurant: Peter Gilmore’s Quay. The chef is a genius and you’ll have to reserve well in advance unless you’re lucky enough to score a cancellation. The restaurant also has unsurpassed views of the Opera House but you may never discover this as your ship is likely to block them out.</p> <p>On the other hand, you may be departing from the new White Bay Terminal across the water in Balmain. If you feel like taking a walk into the suburb from the ship you won’t have far to go to reach Rosso Pomodoro, which serves some of Sydney’s best pizza.</p> <p>If you are visiting the Harbour City, there’s a good chance that you’ll end up at Bondi Beach at some time. The iconic Sydney landmark has a lot of food options but one that’s recommended by several locals is the vast China Diner that has offerings from across Asia, not just its namesake.</p> <p>Joining the commuters for the obligatory trip on the ferry to Manly? Make sure you walk down the Corso to the surf at the ocean beach. Try Chica Bonita a self-described hole-in-the-wall on the Corso for an affordable meal. Burritos, soft tacos and margaritas are the order of the day.</p> <p>The once working-class terraces of Paddington have been gentrified to the max so you’ll now find galleries and designer fashion aplenty in the area. Highly recommended at Five Ways is Mr T Vietnamese an offshoot of the Waterloo Restaurant of the same name.</p> <p>Kings Cross is more mellow than its raunchy past but it’s still a drawcard for both locals and travellers. If you want to watch the remarkable passing parade, head to the perennial Tropicana Caffe on Victoria St where the day begins with a healthy recovery breakfast (served from 5am) with good coffee and juice.</p> <p>Chinatown has so many food options that you can be numbed into indecision. My recommendation is BBQ King – and ignore your Sydney friends who say it’s closed. Yes, in 2015 the Chau family did close the restaurant that had adorned Goulburn St with formica tables and great Peking duck dishes since 1983. But it rose again (can a duck rise like a phoenix?) in 2016 around the corner at 76-78 Liverpool St. The duck and suckling pig are as good as ever.</p> <p>If you’re in the middle of the city when you need to eat, venture into Indu, a very attractive Indian basement restaurant at 350 George St, if you can find it. The virtually unmarked entrance is off Angel Place. It’s not as expensive as the décor would suggest and the creative menu is inspired and good value.</p> <p>Over at The Star you’ll find David Chang’s two-hatted Momofuku Seiōbo where the New York chef reveals how good Asian fusion can be. Before you leave you need to venture down to Adriano Zumbo at The Star for takeaway to challenge your tastebuds with his remarkable macarons. If you don’t make it to The Star you’ll find he has a store in the Queen Victoria Building (and another in Balmain), too.</p> <p>Who knows when you’ll next be in Sydney so why not splurge for the ultimate Sydney dining experience? You don’t have to move far from Circular Quay. Quay’s Peter Gilmore is also the chef for Bennelong Restaurant in the Opera House. It’s an iconic venue matched by wonderful food. Not far away, Matt Moran’s newly refurbished Aria Restaurant presents elegant Australian cuisine overlooking the harbour.</p> <p>Finally, what about a meal with a bird’s eye view of Sydney? When I really want to show visitors what’s special about my city I take them to the Shangri-la Hotel’s Altitude Restaurant. The trick is to arrive early enough for a drink in the adjoining Blu Bar before moving on to your table. From 36 floors above The Rocks – and with floor-to-ceiling windows - the views of the bridge, the Opera House and the harbour are sublime. The food is very good with service to match so it all combines into a great dining experience in the Emerald City.</p> <p>Have you got a special place to eat in Sydney? Share your recommendations here.</p> <p><em>Written by David McGonigal. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/travel/where-to-eat-in-sydney-%E2%80%93-without-emptying-your-wallet.aspx">Wyza.com.au</a>.</em></p>

Travel Tips

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Are there any benefits to exercising on an empty stomach?

<p>The idea of working out without any food in your belly seems to make logical sense. With no energy to burn off, surely you'll be attacking your fat stores when you exercise on an empty stomach, right?</p> <p>It terms of the science, it's a debated subject with no clear answer.</p> <p>The Japanese have long-followed a ritual of drinking water on an empty stomach for its health benefits; something that has now trended to the West.</p> <p>Supposedly, when you down several glasses of water on an empty tummy – and then don't eat anything for the following hour or so – you'll flush out the toxins via your lymphatic system, helping increase the production of new muscle and blood cells and up your overall immune function.</p> <p>It's also thought to stimulate your bowels for regularity, improve your metabolism for the day ahead, help with heartburn, the kidneys, and bladder infections, and even give you better skin, hair, and nails.</p> <p>If this all sounds like something you'd hear in a TV commercial at 3am, it's because it is as sketchy as it sounds. There's no good research out there to link the empty stomach/water consumption theory. Drinking lots of water (in general) does come with health benefits, but there's no solid proof that you need to have a bare belly to receive them.</p> <p>The question or whether or not it's a good idea to exercise on an empty stomach is a contentious one. Numerous studies do show that it's beneficial for weight loss.</p> <p>Overweight people seem to respond better in terms of weight loss when it comes to working out on empty. A <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://ajpendo.physiology.org/content/early/2017/03/08/ajpendo.00006.2017" target="_blank">University of Bath study</a></strong></span>, for example, found that a one-hour walk with no food in your stomach activates metabolism genes to increase the rate at which stored fat burns, in comparison to those who did the walk after a carbohydrate-laden breakfast. Fit people also <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/british-journal-of-nutrition/article/breakfast-and-exercise-contingently-affect-postprandial-metabolism-and-energy-balance-in-physically-active-males/9DAC8DE59DEEF7926E81FF2BB2C5B7EB" target="_blank">see similar, but smaller, benefits</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>However, other studies – like this one from the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://jissn.biomedcentral.com/" target="_blank">Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition</a></strong></span> – show that people lose approximately the same amount of weight during a one-hour exercise regimen whether they have any empty stomach or not.</p> <p>This brings up the "fed versus fasted" debate. Some interesting studies have been done on fasting (i.e. not eating for 8-12 hours) to see how it changes the body's metabolic parameters of the body change. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/221750661_Effects_of_Fed-Versus_Fasted-State_Aerobic_Training_During_Ramadan_on_Body_Composition_and_Some_Metabolic_Parameters_in_Physically_Active_Men" target="_blank">This interesting research</a></strong></span> by University of Sfax, Tunisia and New Zealand's Massey University looked at physically-fit men during Ramadan and found both their body weight and their body fat percentage dropped when they exercised during a fast, as opposed to those who ate before working out.</p> <p>This empty stomach approach has its downsides though. Naturally, eating before exercise gives you energy to complete the work-out. Many people struggle to push hard if they are on an empty stomach, which would mean <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20452283" target="_blank">less physical exertion</a></strong></span>, and less calories burned in a session. Moreover, a study in <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22366285" target="_blank">Appetite</a></strong></span> journal found that those who exercised on a full stomach had less urge to eat more food later. That is, when you exercising while starving and then need to quickly fuel your body when you're finished sweating it out, you may be so famished that you eat far more than you need to. The result? Excess calorie consumption.</p> <p>Although not eating makes some people irritable, there's some good evidence to show that it can make you more productive. According to researchers from <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/10/magazine/10section1C.t-1.html" target="_blank">Yale University</a></strong></span> and the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/2128695-hungry-stomach-hormone-promotes-growth-of-new-brain-cells/" target="_blank">British Neuroscience Association</a></strong></span>, the stomach hormone that stimulates hunger when you have an empty stomach also promotes new brain cell growth. It's said that this process makes you feel sharper by enhancing cognitive processes, while also enabling the brain to better retain new memories.</p> <p>With all this said, whether or not you can happily go about a portion of your day on an empty stomach is up to the individual. A lot of people feel lighter and more alert when slightly hungry, others have no energy at all and cannot concentrate. The jury remains out on whether or not exercise results are increased on an empty stomach, so it's up to you to find out what works best for your own system.</p> <p><em>Written by Lee Suckling. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p>

Body

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See inside the $270 million airport no-one uses

<p>Have you ever visited Sri Lanka? Chances are you didn’t land at the Mattala Rajapaksa International Airport. Built in 2013 for around $270 million, the ultra-modern airport was designed to manage a million passengers each year. In reality? It sees only around 50 to 75 departing travellers per day.</p> <p>Located in Mattala, a tiny rural area of Sri Lanka, it was touted as the nation’s next big tourism, transportation and commercial hub. But its location turned out to be its biggest downfall, isolated from the country’s tourist attractions and urban centres.</p> <p>“FlyDubai is our scheduled flight operator from this airport,” airport manager Upul Kalansuriya told the <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/av/business-40103062/why-is-hardly-anyone-using-sri-lanka-s-new-airport" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">BBC</span></strong></a>. “It flies from Colombo to Mattala to Dubai. At the moment that’s the only airline.”</p> <p>The airport was the brainchild of former president Mahinda Rajapaksa, who chose the location simply because it was in his hometown – despite the tiny population of 23,000 people, 32 per cent of whom live below the poverty line. Political commentators and the opposition slammed the project as a very expensive plan to win over the local voters.</p> <p>China was instrumental in raising funds for the project – $190 million, in fact – believing Sri Lanka to be an important stepping stone on the “21st Century Maritime Silk Road”. A second airport was also appealing due to the country’s main international airport at Colombo beginning to crumble under the overwhelming traffic.</p> <p>Despite initially operating around seven flights a day (including Mattala to and from Bangkok, Beijing, Chennai, Jeddah and Shanghai), route after route was cut, losing the airport an average of $23 million a year.</p> <p>Perhaps unsurprisingly, Rajapaksa was replaced at the 2015 presidential election by one of his biggest rivals and critics, Maithripala Sirisena. “Wasted money became a core issue of the election campaign,” Paikiasothy Saravanamuttu, executive director of Colombo’s Centre for Policy Alternatives, told <a href="http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2015/3/31/Sri-Lankan-ex-presidents-vanity-airport-project-grounded-by-cash-crunch.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Al Jazeera</span></strong></a>. “These were obviously vanity projects that he built with the expectation of being in power forever.”</p> <p>The airport itself has become something of a tourist attraction, with visitors to the local area paying a fee to simply look inside. If you’d also like to see it, simply scroll through the gallery above.</p>

International Travel

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6 ways to use your empty garage to earn money

<p><em><strong>Amelie Mahone is a loving wife and a mother of three. She loves to read about history and write articles on various topics, such as: business, education, history and teaching. In this piece, she explains how you can use an empty garage to earn money.</strong></em></p> <p>If you have an empty garage full of junk that’s gathering dust, you may be ignoring an asset that could make you some money.</p> <p>The sharing economy is growing substantially. This collaborative consumption is helping small businesses to save money and individuals to make the most of their resources. Online communities are forming and allowing people to share their assets for a profit. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.airbnb.com/?af=61160407&amp;c=apac_au_over60" target="_blank">Airbnb</a></strong></span> is a prime example of the kind of websites cropping up to help pair renters with rentees.</p> <p>This all means that it’s easier than ever to turn empty space into a money spinner. And with a space as big as a garage there are lots of options to choose from.</p> <p>So how can you make use of your empty garage?</p> <p><strong>1. Rent it as a parking space</strong></p> <p>If you don’t need your garage for your own car and the space is easily accessed from the road, you could choose to rent it as a long term parking space to someone who commutes to your area. You could also offer short term rentals, particularly if you live near a city centre, a sports stadium or event venue. Parking space in many cities is at a premium so take advantage and advertise your empty space.   </p> <p><strong>2. Rent it as storage space</strong></p> <p>You’ll probably have less coming and going from your property if you rent out your garage as storage space. Whether they’re off travelling or being seconded to another city, people regularly search for storage space when they’re in between accommodation. There are many companies that can help you to market your space and find people looking for a place to keep their stuff.</p> <p><strong>3. Turn it into a workshop</strong></p> <p>If you have the means to invest a little into your garage, you could transform it into a workshop space fit for an artist, a repairman or a tradesperson. Getting one long term let or lots of shorter ones will give you a decent income. </p> <p><strong>4. Have a garage sale</strong></p> <p>Gather all of the bits and bobs you don’t use from around the house and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/money-banking/2016/12/5-tips-for-a-successful-garage-sale/" target="_blank">set up a stall in your garage</a></strong></span>. Put a sign out at the front of your house to tell passers-by that you’re there. Get a money box with change and some tables on which to display your wares. You’ll get rid of lots of old junk and make some money in the process.</p> <p><strong>5. Rent it as a pop up venue</strong></p> <p>Many small independent businesses are choosing not to rent or purchase their own premises. Instead these companies are creating so called pop-up events in original spaces, avoiding the commitment of a long term let. Depending on the location of your garage, businesses and entrepreneurs may be interested in renting your space for a pop-up vintage clothes shop or a pop-up art exhibition.</p> <p><strong>6. Turn it into your own business space</strong></p> <p>If you have an eye for antiques or are handy with electrical appliances, you could start your own business from home, using your garage as storage or work space. Keep stock in the garage or kit the space out as a workshop. You may also be able to get some tax benefits for using your home as a workspace. </p> <p>It’s always worth checking with local authorities and your mortgage provider before you make any big changes to the way you use your property. However, all being well, there are plenty of ways to make money from your empty garage space. With the right online presence and the right space, the possibilities are endless.   </p> <p>Do you have empty garage space? If so, what do you use it for?</p> <p><em>Written by Amalie Mahone.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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How to book an unfilled cruise cabin cheaply

<p>With more than 2,000 cabins onboard cruise lines are bound to have a few empty before sailing date. Here's why they want them filled, how they do it and how you can get one for a great price.</p> <p><strong>Why fill empty cabins?</strong></p> <p>Some last minute deals are so cheap you might wonder how the cruise line makes any money on them. Wouldn’t it make more sense just to keep the cabins empty instead of offering extreme discounts? The answer is no. Even if the line makes no money (or even loses money) on the cabin, they operate on the basis that once they have you onboard you’ll spend more money. Unless you’re an extremely frugal traveller, you’ll be paying extra for alcohol, specialty restaurants, excursions and spa treatments – and that’s where the line will recoup their money.</p> <p><strong>When do they become available?</strong></p> <p>In years gone by, you could walk up to a ship as it was waiting to depart and see if there were any cabins going cheap. However safety concerns (particularly in the wake of 9/11) mean that ships now have to submit their complete passenger manifests 72 hours before sailing. Unsold cabins will usually start to appear around the time final payment for the cruise is due. Some people may have booked but failed to make their payment, so the cabin will become available again. Start to look anywhere from two months to two weeks out from a departure date. It pays to have a good relationship with your travel agent so that they can be on the look out for a great last minute deal.</p> <p><strong>How does it work?</strong></p> <p>Cruise lines will generally avoid discounting their premium cabins, so the first stage of unsold cabins is upgrades. If you’re already booked on a cruise, your agent might contact you with an offer to upgrade to a balcony cabin or suite for just a few hundred dollars. Then the line will offer heavy discounts on the basic rooms that become available. These cabins will be marketed through select travel agents or flash sales will be offered to previous cruisers, those who subscribe to the line’s newsletters or perhaps those who live in the state the cruise is departing from. Keep your eyes peeled!</p> <p><strong>How can you get one?</strong></p> <p>Sign up to cruise lines’ mailing lists to get notifications of last minute sales and stay in touch with your travel agent. On the lines website you can try to make mock bookings for a sailing to see how many cabins are left. The more empty cabins, the more chance of a sale. Primarily, you’ll need to be flexible. That means being open to different lines, itineraries or cabin types. With unsold cabins you don’t get the same range of choice as you would do if you were booking well ahead of departure. But think of it as a chance to be spontaneous – you could discover a new ship or fall in love with a new destination, all while saving money.</p> <p>Have you ever taken a cruise? If so, where did you go?</p> <p>Let us know in the comments.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/travel/cruising/2016/08/working-out-if-a-cruise-is-for-you/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>6 reasons people think cruises are not for them</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/travel/cruising/2016/07/tips-to-get-a-cruise-cabin-upgrade/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>7 tips to get a cruise cabin upgrade</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/travel/cruising/2016/07/7-tricks-to-make-your-cruise-cabin-more-comfortable/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>7 tricks to make your cruise cabin more comfortable</strong></em></span></a></p>

Cruising

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I went from an empty nest to a home that was packed to the rafters

<p class="default"><em><strong>Johanna Castro is a food and wine loving baby boomer who likes to keep fit and healthy. She loves sharing conversations with women over 50 and writes <a href="http://www.lifestylefifty.com/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Lifestyle Fifty</span></a> to empower women to live the good life as they get older.</strong></em> </p> <p class="default">It’s the day every mother grows to dread. The one where her last child ups and offs to their respective independent lives and worldly freedom.Of course it’s the day we’ve been preparing them for since they popped into the world, but the day of reckoning brings with it immense change.</p> <p class="default">Not so long ago I was writing heart-wrenching posts about our nest being empty and how awful it felt; at worst, like the end of the world had come, or at best it felt as if I was missing a vital part, like a limb. I’d wander in and out of empty rooms which echoed with the ghost like sounds of ghastly music, and pathetically I’d longingly touch and smell any garments still hanging in the wardrobes.</p> <p class="default">What I didn't expect was for either of them to return, nor did I think about how that would be, and at the end of this piece are my few words of (hopeful) wisdom if it happens to you too.</p> <p class="default"><strong>My story</strong></p> <p class="default">We have two children, 24 and 26 years old and their various leavings have been spread over quite some years.I'm pretty sure that a wrinkle or two on my husband’s forehead magically disappeared as the second child pulled her overstuffed suitcase out of the door and into the car to head off for uni, while the first one was happily in a loving relationship and living in a house of his own.</p> <p class="default">They were happy. They loved, they were loved, they worked, they travelled, and then one came back seeking sanctuary.</p> <p class="default">Was it a doomed love affair? Was it bankruptcy? Refugee status? Financial crisis? Noooo. Not a serious crisis, nothing radical – thank goodness.And no reasonable parent can refuse their child shelter from the storm, can they?</p> <p class="default"><strong>The not-so empty nest</strong></p> <p class="default">As one who enjoys my grown-up children as much as the feisty five year olds they once were, it was an easy decision.So of course the overstuffed rucksack found its way back up the stairs.</p> <p class="default">I think back to my own childhood, when Dad made it very clear that at 18 I was meant to be out of the house and earning my own crust of bread. I took off with gay abandon heading for the shores of Belgium to work as a groom, misguidedly assuming that within a few weeks my employers would see what a truly great rider I was and I’d be whisked off to international events jockeying their Grade A show jumpers.</p> <p class="default">From there on I was going to be rich and famous. I was never-ever going to return to the clutches of parental economies or sanction.</p> <p class="default">Little did I know.</p> <p class="default">I brushed and walked horses from daylight to sundown until my arms were lean and my legs were taut but much to my chagrin I barely got to ride the horses.</p> <p class="default">I didn’t exactly beg for sanctuary but I packaged up my tearful diaries (which probably included fabricated tales of being whipped and chivvied and made to muck out for at least 10 hours a day) into brown paper envelopes which were posted back to Mum and Dad for the book I would write one day (never happened). </p> <p class="default">Doing this was of course more as salve for my beating soul, to get it off my chest, and I’m a dramatist at heart let’s face it. Let no morsel of truth get in the way of a good story and all that.</p> <p class="default">Within a fairly quick space of time my parents jettisoned their planned itinerary of an extended trip through France and one dark starry night knocked on the door of my digs in Belgium and urged me to pack. Into the back of the car I went, muddy jodhpur boots and all. I was taken back to Mum and Dad's newly childless flat, and child numero uno with its lingering smell of horse, and unmistakable aura of misery and failure, suddenly bolstered-up their empty nest and packed their small living space to the rafters - bringing with it lashings of young adult misunderstanding and clouds of woe.</p> <p class="default">So that was it. Fame as a world renowned equine star had eluded me, and truth be known I was granted a reprieve in the game of life because this step would be the first on my journey to meet the love of my life (who didn't live in Belgium).</p> <p class="default"><strong>Hold your horses!</strong></p> <p class="default">I think if you suffer from empty-nest syndrome you shouldn’t turn to filling your time with amateur dramatics, learning to ride, or learning French in preparation for a move to France, for instance. Certainly don’t be too quick to turn the spare room into a study, because those children who have flown from parental clucking - and who for the time being have their own postcode – may well, in the not too distant future, be flying back to yours.</p> <p class="default">So don't be too startled if one day you hear the sound of a grown-up child’s footsteps marching towards your front door, and try not to smile with too much glee at the prodigal's return.</p> <p class="default"><strong>How to cope with boomerang kids</strong></p> <p class="default">1. Offer empathy, not pity – they are probably not feeling triumphant about returning home, so don't fuel their feelings of failure, but rather empathise and talk about their future.</p> <p class="default">2. Discuss what the ground rules for co-habitation will be – will they pay a small rent, what household tasks might they be expected to help with?</p> <p class="default">3. Don't nag and don't offer unsolicited advice. Remember they are young adults with their own tastes and outlook.</p> <p class="default">4. Do offer advice if asked – but don't lecture.</p> <p class="default">5. Enjoy the energy and new perspectives they bring back into the home. Think new music, new opinions, new fashion sense, and new friends.</p> <p class="default">6. I believe your children are only lent to you for a little while – take every advantage of having them to yourself again.</p> <p><em>This article first appeared on <strong><a href="http://www.lifestylefifty.com/" target="_blank">J<span style="text-decoration: underline;">ohanna Castro’s blog Lifestyle Fifty</span></a>.</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>If you have a story to share please get in touch with melody@oversixty.com.au </strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/are-the-lives-of-children-today-too-hectic/"><em>Are the lives of children today too hectic?</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/04/dont-praise-clever-kids-and-celebrating-effort/"><em>Why we shouldn’t praise clever kids and start celebrating effort</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/03/kids-getting-meaner/"><em>Are our kids getting meaner?</em></a></strong></span></p>

Family & Pets