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Could you cope with a shock to your bank balance? 5 ways to check you are financially resilient

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bomikazi-zeka-680577">Bomikazi Zeka</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> Imagine the dentist has just said you urgently need a A$2,000 dental crown. A week later, a pipe in your bathroom bursts, causing $8,000 worth of damage. Suddenly, you’ve been hit with a $10,000 financial shock. As the cost-of-living crisis plunges more households into financial uncertainty and at least <a href="https://melbourneinstitute.unimelb.edu.au/data/taking-the-pulse-of-the-nation-2022/2023/australians-face-challenging-budgetary-constraints#:%7E:text=Over%20the%20past%20six%20months,has%20increased%20to%2060%20percent.">one-third</a> of Australians struggle to make ends meet, it’s more important than ever to ask yourself: how financially resilient am I? Being financially resilient means you aren’t left financially devastated when an expensive emergency creeps up on you. Here are five key signs of financial resilience. <h2>1. You have a plan for what you’d do if you suddenly lost your salary</h2> Financial resilience means having a plan to fall back on during tough times. This extends to how you’d make money if you lost your job. In practice, that means things like making sure your skills and contacts are kept up to date so you can more easily find a new job. You might also consider whether a “side hustle” job such as tutoring could work for you in the short term, and how you’d put that plan into practice if needed. Perhaps you have a spare room in your home you could rent out for a period of time if you lost your salary. Those examples won’t work for everyone, of course, but it’s still worth asking yourself the question: what would I do if I lost my salary tomorrow? <h2>2. You have enough liquid assets to meet an unexpected financial expense</h2> Liquid assets means money that can be accessed quickly and easily to overcome an unplanned financial expense. Savings are a good example. They provide a buffer so you can cope in the short term if a financial shock strikes. The federal government’s Moneysmart website suggests you aim to have enough in your emergency savings fund to cover <a href="https://moneysmart.gov.au/saving/save-for-an-emergency-fund">three months of expenses</a>. Having an <a href="https://moneysmart.gov.au/glossary/offset-account">offset account</a> as part of a mortgage is another option that provides a buffer. Putting money in an offset account helps you save while reducing the amount of interest on a home loan. You can still access the money in an offset account at any time. <h2>3. You have bought the right financial products, such as insurance</h2> Financial products, such as insurance, hedge against potential losses. Personal insurance is important because it provides income in the event of death, illness or injury. Examples include: <ul> <li> life insurance (which pays out to your beneficiaries, such as your partner or children, when you die) </li> <li> total and permanent disability insurance (which means you may get some money if you acquire a disability that prevents you from working) </li> <li> income protection (which provides you with an income if you can no longer work) </li> <li> trauma cover (which covers a life-changing illness or injury, such as cancer or a stroke). </li> </ul> Check if your superannuation has any of these insurances included in it. <a href="https://www.griffith.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0030/295770/FPRJ-V4-ISS1-pp-53-75-insurance-literacy-in-australia.pdf">Research</a> has found that many Australians are underinsured. <h2>4. You can still pay your debts when times are tough</h2> Being able to borrow money can help when you’re in a tight spot. But knowing where to borrow from, how much to borrow and how to manage debt repayments is crucial. Financially resilient people use debt responsibly. That means: <ul> <li> not using debt for frivolous expenses like after-work drinks </li> <li> staying away from private money lenders </li> <li> being cautious about buy-now-pay-later services </li> <li> watching out for debts with high interest rates, such as payday loans and credit card debt </li> <li> maintaining debt repayments consistently. </li> </ul> If you’re having debt problems, talk to your lender about renegotiating your repayment arrangements, or contact the <a href="https://ndh.org.au/">National Debt Helpline</a> on 1800 007 007. <h2>5. You are financially literate</h2> Being financially literate means you can assess the benefits and risks of using savings or taking out debt to meet an unplanned financial need. As I have <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-financially-literate-here-are-7-signs-youre-on-the-right-track-202331">written</a> before on The Conversation, key signs of financial literacy include tracking your cashflow, building a budget, as well as understanding what debts you have and which to pay first. It also means storing your money across different places (such as superannuation, savings accounts, property and the share market) and understanding how financial assets like cash, shares and bonds work. Being aware of your financial strengths and weaknesses, and having financial goals is also important. Nobody is born knowing how to make sound financial decisions; it’s a skill that must be learned. It’s good to think about the resources you would draw upon to help get yourself out of a difficult financial situation – well before disaster strikes.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218126/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bomikazi-zeka-680577">Bomikazi Zeka</a>, Assistant Professor in Finance and Financial Planning, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/could-you-cope-with-a-shock-to-your-bank-balance-5-ways-to-check-you-are-financially-resilient-218126">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

Pilot praised for revealing simple trick to cope with severe turbulence

A pilot has shared his simple "water bottle trick" for anxious passengers to cope with turbulence in the air. Sydney-sider Jimmy Nicholson and his wife Holly recently shared a video of their bumpy flight with "horrible" turbulence that went viral on TikTok, after Jimmy shared his tips on how to cope with the anxiety. In the video, his wife was filmed hyperventilating, and at one point even pulled out a sick bag. The couple held hands as other passengers were heard screaming during the wild turbulence. “So we’re at the back of the plane so it’s worse here," Jimmy, who looked more calm than most passengers, said in the clip. “It’s not comfortable, probably some of the worst I’ve been in. Could be widespread storms so pilots just have to pick their path of least resistance and go through it so nothing to worry about. “Planes are built to withstand way worse. Not fun evidently, but completely fine. “I’m a pilot and actually fly this aircraft type (Airbus). Here’s why you have nothing to worry about.” For those terrified of turbulence, Jimmy suggested looking at the water inside an upside down water bottle. “Water bottle trick: The water isn’t moving much, is it?” he said. <div class="embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important; width: 603px; max-width: 100%;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7272043055874723073&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40jimmy_nicholson%2Fvideo%2F7272043055874723073%3F_r%3D1%26_t%3D8fD3XY38vB4&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2FoM6n8BXn3ENnHuqtQEMUDb4jUe6fkgAi0BORgF%3Fx-expires%3D1693292400%26x-signature%3DrKGHV84h94FBzJrVu4RsUV8upK0%253D&key=5b465a7e134d4f09b4e6901220de11f0&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> He added that if the water appears to be moving gently in the water bottle, then the turbulence feels worse than it actually is. “Remind yourself it’s completely normal. The plane isn’t going to fall out of the sky,” he said. The pilot suggested turning on the air conditioning and looking out the window to calm your nerves. The video ended with passengers clapping after they rode out the turbulence, and the TikTok has been viewed over 2.4 million times, with many thanking Jimmy for his tips. “This helps so much! We need more pilots to post about the stuff the rest of us think will be the last minutes of our lives,” one wrote. “Thank you for explaining this. I’m an anxious flyer and seeing you talk about it has helped," commented another. “Thank you for this video. I saved it and going to watch it in my flights when I am frightened," wrote a third. Images: TikTok/ Instagram

Travel Trouble

How climate change will affect your pet – and how to help them cope

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/edward-narayan-414899">Edward Narayan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> Earth has just experienced its <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/jul/27/scientists-july-world-hottest-month-record-climate-temperatures">hottest month</a> since records began and Australia is now gearing up for an El Niño-fuelled summer. Extreme heat isn’t just challenging for humans – it brings suffering to our beloved pets, too. <a href="https://www.cabidigitallibrary.org/doi/10.1079/cabireviews.2023.0020">Research</a> I was involved in examined how climate change affects the welfare of animals, including pets. My colleagues and I used a concept for assessing animal welfare known as the “<a href="https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/what-are-the-five-domains-and-how-do-they-differ-from-the-five-freedoms/">five-domains model</a>”. It’s a science-based structure for examining an animal’s: <ul> <li>nutrition</li> <li>environment</li> <li>physical health</li> <li>behaviour</li> <li>mental state.</li> </ul> The model evaluates the complete physiological and behavioural responses of animals to environmental stressors. While the effects of climate change on animals have been studied before, ours is the first study to apply the model to animal welfare specifically. We examined the academic literature and found climate change will harm animals across all five welfare domains. This applies to both wild and domesticated animals, including pets. So let’s take a look at how various types of pets will fare in a warming world – and how we can help them. <h2>Fish</h2> Fish are “ectotherms” – that is, they use external sources of heat to regulate their body temperature. So pet fish are vulnerable to changes in the water temperature of your home aquarium, which may occur during a heatwave. Extreme water temperatures can cause physical harm to fish. For example, it can increase a fish’s metabolic rate – meaning it <a href="https://e360.yale.edu/features/feeling-the-heat-warming-oceans-drive-fish-into-cooler-waters">needs more oxygen</a> to breathe . It can also <a href="https://www.nepjol.info/index.php/ON/article/view/4331">cause changes</a> such as slowed growth and reduced feeding. According to <a href="https://agriculture.vic.gov.au/livestock-and-animals/animal-welfare-victoria/other-pets/caring-for-your-pet-fish">official advice</a>, water in an indoor aquarium should generally be kept at between 20℃ and 25℃ (unless you are keeping tropical fish). Depending on your budget and aquarium size, you could opt to use a device to control the water temperature. Either way, it’s important to monitor the water temperature regularly. Also make sure the aquarium isn’t located near a window where it’s exposed to direct sunlight. Leaving your aquarium unattended for days or weeks in summer can be dangerous, due to the risk of heatwaves. If you’re going on a summer holiday, consider organising a <a href="https://www.thesprucepets.com/holiday-and-vacation-fish-care-and-feeding-1378525#:%7E:text=If%20you%20are%20going%20on,aquarium%20and%20can%20prove%20lethal">fish sitter</a> to check on the animal regularly. <h2>Birds</h2> Heat stress can change the <a href="https://www.vetexotic.theclinics.com/article/S1094-9194(16)00003-7/fulltext">physiology</a> of birds. For example, research into a wild population of small Australian robins showed during a heatwave, the birds <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jav.02355">lost body mass</a> and abandoned their nests, and some died. Heat stress can also cause <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327604jaws0101_5">abnormal behaviour in pet birds</a> such as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/1828051X.2016.1195711?src=recsys">feather picking</a>, when one bird repeatedly pecks at the feathers of another. In hot weather, regularly check your bird’s cage to make sure it’s clean and stocked with food and water. If the bird is in an outdoor cage or aviary, ensure it is shaded. And a shallow bird bath will help your feathered friend cool off. <h2>Dogs</h2> Dogs and cats can suffer on hot days. That’s especially true if they are: <ul> <li><a href="https://www.ejmanager.com/mnstemps/100/100-1626960667.pdf?t=1657722662">older or overweight</a></li> <li>have thick coats</li> <li>have short snouts/flat faces (which restricts air flow and makes it harder for them to cool down).</li> </ul> Heat stress can cause <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.742926/full?&utm_source=Email_to_ae_&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=T1_11.5e2_editor&utm_campaign=Email_publication&journalName=Frontiers_in_Veterinary_Science&id=742926">canine hyperthermia</a>, which means the dog’s body temperature becomes dangerously hot. Watch for <a href="https://www.rvc.ac.uk/small-animal-vet/teaching-and-research/fact-files/heatstroke-in-dogs-and-cats#:%7E:text=Early%20signs%20of%20heatstroke%20in%20pet%20animals&text=Panting%2C%20this%20can%20progress%20to,Red%20gums%20or%20tongue">early warning signs</a> of heat stress such as excessive panting and erratic movements. These symptoms can quickly escalate, leading to heat stroke and possible death. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34828033/">More than 80%</a> of dog owners report exercising their dogs less vigorously, or for shorter periods, during hot weather. That can help avoid heat-related illness. But don’t reduce your dog’s activity levels too much, as that may lead to other health problems. Just time the walks to avoid the heat of the day. Refrain from leaving dogs unattended in vehicles, because they can easily overheat. In fact, it’s better to leave your dog inside home on a hot day, as long as they have a cool place to rest and plenty of water – perhaps even with ice cubes in it. And dogs love to cool off in a kiddie pool or under a sprinkler. If you take your dog out on a hot day, <a href="https://agriculture.vic.gov.au/livestock-and-animals/animal-welfare-victoria/dogs/health/heat-and-pets#:%7E:text=Be%20aware%20of%20the%20signs,not%20icy%20water%20and%20fanned">carry</a> a container of fresh, cool water for them. And don’t forget to slip-slop-slap: apply a sparing amount of pet sunscreen to your dogs’ exposed pink skin such as ear tips and nose. <h2>Cats</h2> Like other animals, cats can overheat in hot weather. Symptoms include panting heavily, drooling and a rapid pulse. Like with other animals, if you suspect your cat is suffering from heatstroke, call a vet immediately. Climate change and associated heat and floods is likely to aid the spread of parasites and illness <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffmcmahon/2022/12/31/guess-whos-loving-climate-change-mosquitos-and-the-pathogens-they-carry/?sh=50654683174a">including</a> tick-borne diseases, <a href="https://pubs.er.usgs.gov/publication/70213352">flea</a> infestations and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32145530/">heartworm</a>. This puts both cats and dogs at risk. In hot weather, the advice for cat owners is similar to that of dog owners: ensure your cat has plenty of shade and water, and put pet sunscreen on their ear tips and noses, especially if the cat is white. If possible, keep the cat inside during the hottest part of the day. Ensure at least one room is cool and ventilated. And in a heatwave, play with your cat either in the early morning or evening, when the temperature has cooled. <h2>A helping human hand</h2> While humans have the capacity to understand and prepare for climate change, pets will need our help to cope. This includes not just the pets listed above, but others too, including reptiles, guinea pigs and rabbits. As heatwaves and other extreme weather events become more common, the onus is on us to keep our pets safe.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210724/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/edward-narayan-414899">Edward Narayan</a>, Senior Lecturer in Animal Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-climate-change-will-affect-your-pet-and-how-to-help-them-cope-210724">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

How to cope with a fear of flying

Accept how you’re feeling The first step in overcoming a fear of flying is to recognise the fear. “Don’t fight it,” advises Dr Ian Shulman, a psychologist specialising in cognitive therapy. “Allow yourself to feel it. If you can go into a situation that scares you and say to yourself, ‘It’s okay to be scared even though I’m not comfortable,’ – that doesn’t trip off your body’s internal alarm system as much and it’s easier to cope.” By telling yourself that “yes this is happening, and I’ll go with it,” your brain tends to calm down – and as a result, the uncomfortable tightness in your throat, shallow breathing, and upset stomach will loosen their grip on you. Take a fear of flying course Before you consider booking a trip, sign up for a course that can help unravel your fear of flying. Shulman runs seminars on how to bust your flying phobia. “These programs are very useful because you get to see first-hand that there are lots of other people with similar experiences and that helps you feel like you’re not alone and what you’re going through isn’t strange,” says Shulman. Fear of flying programs look at how and why fear develops, offer calming techniques and insight into how a plane works so that nervous flyers can gain an understanding of what they’re experiencing when they hear strange noises or feel turbulence. Avoid anxious thinking patterns “People prone to anxiety tend to make two thinking errors. The first is that they exaggerate the dangerousness of the situation they are in, and the second is that they minimise their ability to cope with that danger,” says Shulman. “They’ll be thinking of the future and what could happen, and start to sweat, shake and panic.” If you’re feeling anxious on the plane, it helps to realise that you’re actually safe and not really in any danger. “The symptoms are just your body’s way of reacting to your thoughts of what might happen,” says Shulman. Realising that you’re okay and more than able to cope will help to squash anxious thought patterns. Adopt a calming technique that works for you There’s no right or wrong way to find inner calm when you’re feeling anxious. “Figure out what’s going to work for you and go with that,” says Shulman. Some anxious individuals find that repeating positive affirmations in their head helps them to alleviate their fear of flying, while others prefer to visualise that they’re somewhere relaxing such as on a beach. Cultivating a “mindful awareness” of your breathing can also help. “Focus on your breath at the tips of your nostrils, or as your belly rises and falls,” says Shulman. “As you focus on the breath, you’ll notice that your mind wanders. If you can practice this skill, it trains the brain to have a little more control over itself, and brings it back to where everything is calm.” Don’t rely on alcohol or medications While booze or prescription drugs can temporarily take the edge off a scary situation, they come with major drawbacks. Passing out for the duration of a long flight could make you a candidate for deep vein thrombosis (DVT) – the formation of blood clots in the legs. Studies from the Stanford University School of Medicine in California have also found that in-flight users of anti-anxiety medications could be making their situation worse. “The research showed medicated fliers had higher heart and breathing rates than unmedicated fliers on the same flight who were in a state of panic,” says Tom Bunn, an airline pilot and founder of SOAR. “The researchers believe this hyperarousal with medication traumatises the central nervous system, making it more sensitive to flying,” says Bunn. Become acquainted with oxytocin Here’s a substance that is more beneficial in-flight than alcohol, or prescription drugs. “Oxytocin is a chemical that your brain produces when you’re feeling relaxed and safe,” says Shulman. When a loved one holds your hand, or someone you care about is with you, your brain releases the calming effects of oxytocin. So grab a good friend or loved one as your travel buddy, and reap of the soothing benefits of your brain’s “cuddle hormone.” Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/flightstravel-hints-tips/how-to-cope-with-a-fear-of-flying" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Travel Tips

We make thousands of unconscious decisions every day. Here’s how your brain copes with that

Do you remember learning to drive a car? You probably fumbled around for the controls, checked every mirror multiple times, made sure your foot was on the brake pedal, then ever-so-slowly rolled your car forward. Fast forward to now and you’re probably driving places and thinking, “how did I even get here? I don’t remember the drive”. The task of driving, which used to take a lot of mental energy and concentration, has now become subconscious, automatic – habitual. But how – and why – do you go from concentrating on a task to making it automatic? Habits are there to help us cope We live in a vibrant, complex and transient world where we constantly face a barrage of information competing for our attention. For example, our eyes take in <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1564115/">over one megabyte of data every second</a>. That’s equivalent to reading 500 pages of information or an entire encyclopedia every minute. Just one whiff of a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12744840/">familiar smell</a> can trigger a memory from childhood in less than a millisecond, and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2009.08.004">our skin</a> contains up to 4 million receptors that provide us with important information about temperature, pressure, texture, and pain. And if that wasn’t enough data to process, <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/REPS-10-2018-011/full/html">we make thousands of decisions</a> every single day. Many of them are unconscious and/or minor, such as putting seasoning on your food, picking a pair of shoes to wear, choosing which street to walk down, and so on. Some people are neurodiverse, and the ways we sense and process the world differ. But generally speaking, because we simply cannot process <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1364661305001178">all the incoming data</a>, our brains create habits – automations of the behaviours and actions we often repeat. Two brain systems There are two forces that govern our behaviour: intention and habit. In simple terms, our brain has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17437199.2016.1244647">dual processing systems</a>, sort of like a computer with two processors. Performing a behaviour for the first time requires intention, attention and planning – even if plans are made only moments before the action is performed. This happens in our prefrontal cortex. More than any other part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex is responsible for making deliberate and logical decisions. It’s the key to reasoning, problem-solving, comprehension, impulse control and perseverance. It affects behaviour via <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/handbook-of-behavior-change/changing-behavior-using-the-reflectiveimpulsive-model/A35DBA6BF0E784F491E936F2BE910FF7">goal-driven decisions</a>. For example, you use your “reflective” system (intention) to make yourself go to bed on time because sleep is important, or to move your body because you’ll feel great afterwards. When you are learning a new skill or acquiring new knowledge, you will draw heavily on the reflective brain system to form new memory connections in the brain. This system requires mental energy and effort. From impulse to habit On the other hand, your “impulsive” (habit) system is in your brain’s <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/10.1146/annurev.neuro.29.051605.112851">basal ganglia</a>, which plays a key role in the development of emotions, memories, and pattern recognition. It’s impetuous, spontaneous, and pleasure seeking. For example, your impulsive system might influence you to pick up greasy takeaway on the way home from a hard day at work, even though there’s a home-cooked meal waiting for you. Or it might prompt you to spontaneously buy a new, expensive television. This system requires no energy or cognitive effort as it operates reflexively, subconsciously and automatically. When we repeat a behaviour in a consistent context, our brain recognises the patterns and moves the control of that behaviour from intention to habit. A habit occurs when your impulse towards doing something is automatically initiated because you encounter a setting in which you’ve done the same thing <a href="https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-015-0065-4">in the past</a>. For example, getting your favourite takeaway because you walk past the food joint on the way home from work every night – and it’s delicious every time, giving you a pleasurable reward. Shortcuts of the mind Because habits sit in the impulsive part of our brain, they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2019.03.978">don’t require much cognitive input or mental energy</a> to be performed. In other words, habits are the mind’s shortcuts, allowing us to successfully engage in our daily life while reserving our reasoning and executive functioning capacities for other thoughts and actions. Your brain remembers how to drive a car because it’s something you’ve done many times before. Forming habits is, therefore, a natural process that contributes to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-2909.124.1.54">energy preservation</a>. That way, your brain doesn’t have to consciously think about your every move and is free to consider other things – like what to make for dinner, or where to go on your next holiday. Image credit: Shutterstock This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-make-thousands-of-unconscious-decisions-every-day-heres-how-your-brain-copes-with-that-201379" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Mind

Tips to cope with losing independence with age

There are many fantastic things that come with getting older, but sadly there are also some not-so-welcome side effects. For many people, loss of independence is definitely the worst. In fact, a UK study found more people fear losing their self-sufficiency than death. Whether because of health issues, mobility problems or something else entirely, many elderly people can find themselves completely reliant on others in their old age. However, it’s important to help them understand that losing their independence doesn’t have to mean losing their quality of life. First of all, take some time to put yourself in their shoes and really understand what it’s like. Just like with any loss, coming to terms with the loss of self-sufficiency is a process. Many people feel afraid of their newfound vulnerability, angry at their situation, confused about how to move forward and even guilty at the thought of needing help. But it’s essential that even during this difficult transition period to encourage them not to isolate themselves. Offer help in whatever way you can Whether it’s driving them around, helping them with their groceries or just lending an ear, even the smallest deed can help make your loved one’s life a little easier. Understandably, many people who suddenly find themselves reliant of others can take a stubborn stance against accepting help. Instead of berating them, consider why they might be apprehensive to take a hand. Be patient and explain that you don’t pity them, but rather just want the best for them. If they constantly reject your offers, respect them. Keep them busy Contrary to what they may believe at first, losing their independence doesn’t mean being forced to stop doing what they love. Encourage your loved one to keep pursuing their passions (where possible), find new hobbies and maintain relationships with their family members and friends – after all, it’s the people around us who help us through hardship. Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

5 keys to understanding grief

Christopher Hall is chief executive officer of the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement, and previously worked as a psychologist with the Victorian Department of Education. For too long, we have suffered from a narrow definition of grief. We’ve viewed grief largely as the human response to death but grief is really the human response to change. It’s a multifaceted response that involves our emotional life, our cognitions – the way we think about ourselves, the world and our relationships, as well as the impact of grief on our bodies, our relationships, our spirituality and even our broader frameworks of meaning. It may be a change that is unwelcome, an adverse life event such as a loved one’s death or a floundering relationship. It may even be a welcome change, such as adjusting to a new work culture or moving to a new location. Change is a fundamental part of life. It plays a central role in the work of psychologists, as we help our clients adjust to change or transition. 1. Theories about grief People often refer to Kübler-Ross’ 1969 model of grief which suggests that people passively go through five emotional stages – from denial through to anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. While this cookie-cutter model brings a sense of order to a complex process, it has been widely rejected for failing to reflect people’s own unique experience of grief. Freud’s initial work suggested that the task for bereaved people was to say goodbye and let go – a process of breaking emotional bonds. We now acknowledge that grief is different for everyone. Bereaved people do not tend to break emotional bonds, instead they continue these bonds with the deceased. We know that death ends a life but it doesn’t end a relationship. 2. Keeping the connection Much of psychology’s work is in how people can maintain, in an adaptive way, a connection to the deceased and their relationship, while not preventing them from living fully in the world. We move from a relationship of physical presence to a relationship of memory. This continuing bond can manifest in a variety of ways. It may be that the person has relocated their loved one to heaven and their heart or that they remember the person on their birthday and light a candle. It may be that they keep that relationship alive through raising research funds, a foundation in their memory, or even pursue a change to legislation. Most importantly, it can be a creative and dynamic connection. Just as our relationships in life can be complicated, so can our relationships with the deceased. The therapeutic task is no longer about getting the person to say goodbye, it’s about developing a new relationship with the deceased. In a sense, the deceased still populates our head and our heart. They can still speak to us and we can still listen to them. 3. The grieving process Grief has been described as the price we pay for love. We know that in bereavement, grief will often come in waves. People can waver between the intensity and the pain of grief and finding times where they find comfort in activities that might distract or provide some avoidance of the loss. We all have different ways of grieving. For some people, their grief is very private while for many, it’s instrumental – they grieve through action. People need to find a safe place where they can let the grief in while finding a home for grief in their world. Grief is a process that can potentially last a lifetime. For the child who loses a parent in their early life, they will re-grieve this loss as they are able to think about the world in more complex ways or as they miss that parent at later stages in their life. Grief is not about arriving at a point of closure, where all business is done and dusted. In many ways, it is a loss that will be revisited throughout life. Historically, we have tended to pathologise people’s response to loss. We believed that if they hadn’t let go or said goodbye, that in some way their grief was compromised. We now recognise that grief is an experience that most people will respond to with resiliency. We know about seven per cent of bereaved people will develop complications in their bereavement experience that will benefit from professional engagement. These are often, but not always, people who have a particular way of relating in the world that makes change difficult for them and people who experience deaths that are sudden, unexpected or traumatic. While grief will always remain with us, we expect that around the six-month mark that people will begin to feel that they are able to manage their way in the world more effectively. If they are still significantly struggling, we may advise them to seek additional support. 4. How others can help The silence or inaction of others following a bereavement can add to people’s experience of grief. It’s important that people surrounding the bereaved person be courageous and proactive. Recognise that there are no best words or best actions. However, it’s imperative we don’t give the bereaved person our own meaning in the death. Be cautious about saying things like – ‘look on the good times’ or ‘they’re with God now’. Support may come in the form of a written note or an opportunity for social engagement. Offers of assistance can help, as for many bereaved people a significant stressor are the day to day demands of living, particularly after the death of a partner. 5. Coping with grief It’s imperative that people take good care of themselves physically and get plenty of rest. Seek out those things or activities that provide you with some degree of comfort or relief. These could be activities such as walking, yoga or meditation. Many people want to read information about other people who’ve had similar experiences of loss. They might access online information, books or films about grief. They may consider joining a support group and meeting with other people who’ve had a similar experience or simply find company in supportive friends. People grieve in the way that they tend to live their lives. Some people will find that returning to work or being occupied in activities is beneficial. For many people, it’s about finding some kind of meaning in the loss, perhaps reflecting on those questions of why and how, and thinking about how this person has changed their life. Ultimately, change is part of the world in which we live. Coping with grief is not about getting back to normal. It’s often about creating a brand new normal – a new life, in the wake of that event. Written by Christopher Hall. Republished with permission of <a href="https://psychlopaedia.org/society/understanding-grief/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Psychlopaedia</a>. Image: Getty

Caring

‘Laid awake and wept’: destruction of nature takes a toll on the human psyche. Here’s one way to cope

Predictions of catastrophic climate change seem endless – and already, its effects are hard to ignore. Events such as bushfires, floods and species loss generate feelings of sadness, anxiety and grief in many people. But this toll on the human psyche is often overlooked. Our research has investigated the negative emotions that emerge in Australians in response to the destruction of nature, and how we can process them. We’ve found being in nature is crucial. Our latest <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2071-1050/14/13/7948/htm#B9-sustainability-14-07948" target="_blank" rel="noopener">research</a> examined an eco-tourism enterprise in Australia. There, visitors’ emotional states were often connected to nature’s cycles of decay and regeneration. As nature renews, so does human hope. As our climate changes, humans will inhabit and know the world differently. Our findings suggest nature is both the trigger for, and answer to, the grief that will increasingly be with us. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=585&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=736&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=736&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476832/original/file-20220801-70681-b3fz6g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=736&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="three bushwalkers traverse a green ridge" /></a><figcaption>Immersion in nature can improve people’s emotional wellbeing. Tourism Queensland</figcaption></figure> Emotions of climate distress Our research has previously examined how acknowledging and processing emotions can help humans <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17565529.2021.1881425" target="_blank" rel="noopener">heal</a> in a time of significant planetary change. This healing can often come about through social, collective approaches involving connection with the Earth’s natural systems. Eco-tourism experiences offer opportunities to connect with nature. Our recent <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1745-5871.12554" target="_blank" rel="noopener">research</a> examined the experiences of tourists who had recently stayed at Mount Barney Lodge in Queensland’s Scenic Rim region. The eco-tourism business is located on Minjelha Dhagun Country, next to the World Heritage-listed Mount Barney National Park. The region was <a href="https://www.climatecouncil.org.au/fires-floods-global-pandemic-mount-barney-lodge/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">badly affected</a> by the Black Summer bushfires of 2019-2020. Through an online questionnaire conducted last year, we sought to understand visitors’ psychological experiences and responses while at the lodge. Seventy-two participants were recruited via an information sheet and flyer placed in the lodge reception. The youngest was aged 18, the oldest was 78 and the average age was 46. Some 71% were female and 29% were male. We found 78% of respondents experienced sadness, anger, anxiety and other grieving emotions in response to current pressures on the Earth’s life supporting systems. One reflected on how they “have laid awake at night thinking about all the biodiversity loss [and] climate change and wept” and another said they felt “so sad for the animals” in the face of bushfires or urban sprawl. <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476830/original/file-20220801-31624-gg9eio.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="two koalas huddle on felled trees" /><figcaption>Environmental destruction triggers sadness and other emotions – but immersion in nature can help. WWF Australia</figcaption></figure> Another participant spoke of their sadness following bushfires in the Snowy Mountains fires of New South Wales: <blockquote> This area is where I [spent] much of my youth, so it was really sad to see it perish. I felt like I was experiencing the same hurt that the environment (trees, wildlife) was – as my memories were embedded in that location. </blockquote> This response reflects how nature can give people a sense of place and identity – and how damage to that environment can erode their wellbeing. But grief can also emerge in anticipation of a loss that has not yet occurred. One visitor told us: <blockquote> When I was little, I thought of the world as kind of guaranteed – it would always be there – and having that certainty taken away […] knowing that the world might not be survivable for a lot of people by the time I’m a grown-up – it’s grief, and anger, and fear of how much grief is still to come. </blockquote> Anger and frustration towards the then-federal government were also prominent. Participants spoke of a “lack of leadership” and the “government’s inability to commit to a decent climate policy”. They also expressed frustration at “business profits being put ahead of environmental protection”. Participants also said “it feels like we can’t do anything to stop [climate change]” and “anything we do try, and change is never going to be enough”. <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476835/original/file-20220801-9120-yt41gw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="fire officials stand in front of smoke-filled landscape" /><figcaption>Participants felt they lacked control over the effects of climate change. Sean Davey/AAP</figcaption></figure> Healing through immersion in nature Emotions such as <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41558-018-0092-2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ecological grief</a> and <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanplh/article/PIIS2542-5196(20)30144-3/fulltext" target="_blank" rel="noopener">eco-anxiety</a> are perfectly rational responses to environmental change. But we must engage with and process them if their <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41558-020-0712-5" target="_blank" rel="noopener">transformative potential</a> is to be realised. There is increasing <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1005566612706" target="_blank" rel="noopener">evidence</a> of nature’s ability to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0013916508319745" target="_blank" rel="noopener">help people</a> sit with and process complex emotional states – improving their mood, and becoming happier and more satisfied with life. Participants in our study described how being in natural areas such as Mount Barney helped them deal with heavy emotions triggered by nature’s demise. Participants were variously “retreating to nature as much as possible”, “appreciating the bush more” and “spending as much time outside [so] that I can hear trees, plants, and animals”. Participants explained how “being in nature is important to mental wellbeing”, is “healing and rejuvenating” and “always gives me a sense of spiritual coherence and connection with the natural world”. For some, this rejuvenation is what’s needed to continue fighting. One participant said: <blockquote> If we don’t see the places, we forget what we’re fighting for, and we’re more likely to get burned out trying to protect the world. </blockquote> Similarly, one participant spoke of observing the resilience and healing of nature itself after devastation: <blockquote> [I] find peace and some confidence in its [nature’s] ability to regenerate if given a chance. </blockquote> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=450&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/476820/original/file-20220801-38718-odw5xf.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=566&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="green grass springs from blackened landscape" /><figcaption>This image of Mount Barney National Park shows nature’s ability to regenerate after bushfires. Innes Larkin</figcaption></figure> The call back to nature Our findings suggest immersing ourselves in nature more frequently will help us process emotions linked to ecological and climate breakdown – and thus find hope. Eco-tourism sites promote opportunities for what’s known as <a href="https://www.cornellpress.cornell.edu/book/9781501715228/earth-emotions/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">eutierria</a> – a powerful state that arises when one experiences a sense of oneness and symbiosis with Earth and her life-supporting systems. Through this powerful state, it’s possible for one to undertake the courageous acts needed to advocate on behalf of nature. This is essential for the transformations Earth desperately needs.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/187837/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ross-westoby-755937" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Ross Westoby</a>, Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/karen-e-mcnamara-41028" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Karen E McNamara</a>, Associate professor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The University of Queensland</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-clissold-1040363" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rachel Clissold</a>, Researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The University of Queensland</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/laid-awake-and-wept-destruction-of-nature-takes-a-toll-on-the-human-psyche-heres-one-way-to-cope-187837" target="_blank" rel="noopener">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Mind

News of war can impact your mental health — here’s how to cope

The war in Ukraine has left many across the world <a href="https://www.france24.com/en/live-news/20220303-ukraine-war-sends-western-anxiety-soaring-on-back-of-pandemic">feeling stressed and anxious</a>. Coming on the back of a global pandemic which has already had a <a href="https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2021/10/11/covid-19-has-led-to-a-sharp-increase-in-depression-and-anxiety">devastating toll on mental health</a>, news of the war has only compounded feelings of fear and uncertainty which are <a href="https://www.hindawi.com/journals/np/2020/8866386/">known to increase anxiety</a>. People far from the conflict may be wondering why their mental health is suffering as a result of the news and images they’re seeing. Part of this can be explained by the fact that our brains are designed to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4276319/">scan for threats</a> to protect us from potential danger. This can lead to an almost unstoppable, constant scouring of the news to help us <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20140728-why-is-all-the-news-bad">prepare for the worst</a> – a phenomenon many might know better as “doomscrolling”. Research shows that even <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9061893/">short exposure to bad news</a> can lead to increased levels of worry and anxiety that can be long lasting. Bad news can also <a href="https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.4.887">perpetuate negative thinking</a>, which can lead to feeling caught in a loop of distress. Another reason watching news from Ukraine may be affecting mental health is because witnessing the suffering of others can actually <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053811904005208">cause us to feel pain</a>. Seeing personal stories shared on social media makes us feel more connected to people than statistics about casualties might – increasing our empathy further. Generally, people are told to avoid engaging with the news if it’s affecting their mental health. Yet this is hard to put in practice – especially given the constant stream of unfiltered stories across social media, and a desire to stay up-to-date with what’s going on. Here are some other ways you can manage your mental health that don’t require you to switch off: <h2>Managing wellbeing</h2> Acknowledge the feelings: Many people try and dismiss their feelings by saying things like, “I’m being silly - there are people who are really struggling in the world.” While undoubtedly there are others suffering, this doesn’t invalidate the feelings you have. You can feel anxious and upset for yourself and for others, or even have <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1754073916639661">mixed feelings</a> of being grateful (that you are safe) and sad (that others aren’t). Trying to rationalise or dismiss emotions never actually makes them go away – it can even make you <a href="https://openaccesspub.org/ijpr/article/999">more emotional</a> and less able to cope. Acknowledging and accepting our feelings without judgement can lead to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5767148/">improved mental health</a> by reducing the burden of denying negative feelings. Engage with your feelings: The stories that are emerging may trigger our own personal experiences of feeling helpless or out of control, feelings of loss, memories of fear of separation from loved ones, or uncertainty. But the reasons a person experiences each of these emotions will be different. For example, as a person of colour, witnessing the <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2022/02/28/europe/students-allege-racism-ukraine-cmd-intl/index.html">discrimination of minority refugees</a> has touched on my own experiences of discrimination. Images of <a href="https://twitter.com/BowenBBC/status/1499645055207936001?s=20&t=uvMTUOCigKIAu5aGw3Yf-w">families being separated</a> may remind people of being unable to see their loved ones during the pandemic. It might be <a href="https://mental.jmir.org/2018/4/e11290/">helpful to write down</a> feelings, or talk to a friend. Speaking about silent thoughts we may be struggling with has been shown to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17576282/">disrupt the stress cycle</a> and have long term benefits such as helping us manage stress better, feel more grounded when we experience anxiety, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/your-personal-renaissance/201906/why-talking-about-our-problems-makes-us-feel-better">and even improve overall health</a>. Take action: Think about whether there are any practical things you can do, such as making a donation to a charity or <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11266-018-0041-8">volunteering</a>. Both of these may help tackle feelings of helplessness and may also <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1471-2458-13-773">improve your mental health</a> by giving you a <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/scs.12869">sense of reward</a> through helping others. Make time for yourself: Since it’s not always possible – or wanted – to avoid the news altogether, consider controlling when you’re engaging with it. Avoid it just before bed and first thing in the morning because it <a href="https://www.scienceworld.ca/stories/scrolling-bed-heres-what-your-brains/">increases alertness in the brain</a>, which can increase stress levels and make it difficult to relax. You might also want to consider doing something nourishing for yourself – such as phoning a loved one, <a href="https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/52/12/800.abstract">going for a walk</a> with a friend, being <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/11745398.2019.1655459">outdoors in nature</a> or <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1090198117736352">making a favourite meal</a>. This will help shift your mind from troubling news and create a more positive and resilient mindset that can better deal with worries. Ultimately, we can’t control the outcome of the conflict. But having control over the things that we can change – such as how much news we consume, or the activities we do to help ourselves unwind – will help us better retain our sense of wellbeing when the world feels out of control. Image credits: Getty Images This article was originally published on <a href="https://theconversation.com/news-of-war-can-impact-your-mental-health-heres-how-to-cope-178734" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Mind

How to cope when you’re caring for your parents – and your kids

Changing demographics and social norms in Australia have given rise to a new phenomenon known as the ‘sandwich generation.’ This term refers to those caught between caring for their own children and their ageing parents. This all began when people chose to start their families later. The fertility rate for women aged 35-39 has more than doubled over the last 30 years, while the rate for women aged 40-44 has tripled. At the same time, rising property prices and higher costs of living are enticing adult children to remain living at home for longer. At the other end of the spectrum, Australians are also living longer. The life expectancy of Australians currently stands at 82.5 years, up more than 10 years from the 1960 rate of 71 years. Those sandwiched between care of their own children and the care of their parents have been coined ‘the sandwich generation’. Compounding the pressure on many ‘sandwich’ families is the rising proportion of women in the workforce. Where women may previously have been at home and more available to fulfil caring roles, they are now, more often than not, occupied with their own busy jobs. Getting help Being caught in the sandwich generation can be emotionally and physically exhausting. What is the best way for carers to manage their competing priorities? After all, caregivers can only continue to provide good support it they look after themselves. Recruiting the right help is one of the best ways carers can relieve the pressures they are feeling. Kate Spurway founded her company - NurseWatch - with the ‘sandwich generation’ in mind, aiming to provide care for those with busy lives and heavily competing demands on their time. As a home care provider, NurseWatch is a little different from others companies in this area because Spurway has given the company a strong focus on wellness and prevention, as well as treatment. NurseWatch provides support not only for ageing parents, but also for the ‘sandwich’ carers themselves who are generally in their 50s or 60s and may have health concerns of their own. The staff at NurseWatch offer yoga, massage, health coaching and mindfulness, as well as wound care, post-hospital care, assistance with medical appointments, and medication assistance. Highly qualified and experienced carers work with clients to establish personalised environments and routines which are designed to preserve vitality and wellbeing, as well as restore good health. Spurway says it’s important for older people to remain active in their communities – by continuing to take part in activities they love, whether it be furniture making, ballet, or going on a holiday. She says the staff at NurseWatch can help facilitate these activities if the designated carer is running short of time. NurseWatch follows a ‘wellness, care, social’ model: creating wellness in a caring environment, while providing nurturing, social engagement. Being present… Caring isn’t easy, and for those with competing demands on their time, it’s almost impossible. Acknowledging this fact, accepting help is needed, and then putting the right systems and routines in place, will not only take care of the caring, it will help the ‘sandwiched’ carers regain balance – and ultimately help them to be more present for their loved ones who need them. Image: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

5 tips to cope with overwhelming feelings

As we struggle with living in isolation, keeping up with work and staying connected to family and friends, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed. <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/therapywithshar/?hl=en" target="_blank">Sharnade George</a>, a celebrity therapist, presenter and writer, shares her five tips for getting on top of overwhelming feelings and learning to cope with them. 1. Acknowledge the feeling When you start to feel panicked, anxious, or out of control, acknowledging the feeling and being able to name it is the starting point for understanding it and managing it. This advice extends beyond feeling overwhelmed, too. All of our emotions tell us something, and understanding how an emotion feels in your body and how you respond to it can make managing it that much easier. 2. Know what you can control To alleviate panic, it’s important to know what you can and can’t control in your day-to-day life. Being able to identify controllable and uncontrollable aspects of your life can help you decide where to focus your energy and what things you might choose to let go of. For example, if the news is leaving you feeling overwhelmed, you could choose to limit your consumption by watching it once a week or avoid reading it while scrolling on your phone - letting you control what you see. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> This graphic is very empowering to us - focus on the things you can control! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WellspringMiami?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#WellspringMiami</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RestoringHeartsAndMinds?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RestoringHeartsAndMinds</a> <a href="https://t.co/YmtnmyM5XQ">pic.twitter.com/YmtnmyM5XQ</a> — Wellspring Miami (@WellspringMiami) <a href="https://twitter.com/WellspringMiami/status/1241459301656518656?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 21, 2020</a></blockquote> In a similar vein, making time for things you know will make you feel better, such as exercise, meditating, journaling, or eating something that brings you joy, can be another way to alleviate panicky feelings. 3. Take a breath Since panic causes breathlessness, using <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.healthline.com/health/breathing-exercises-for-anxiety#abdomen-breathing" target="_blank">breathing techniques</a> - such as lengthening your exhale or breathing from your diaphragm - can help you feel calmer. In an overwhelming moment, George recommends breathing in for four seconds, then breathing out for four seconds, and repeating the exercise three times. 4. Use affirmations Positive affirmations can help to ground and relax you when things get stressful. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNjxmYohp2P/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNjxmYohp2P/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Sharnade | Celebrity Therapist (@therapywithshar)</a> </div> </blockquote> Instead of thinking about how out of control the world may seem at the moment, George recommends repeating phrases such as “I am doing my best” and “I can manage this” to shift your focus and stay calm. 5. Avoid catastrophising Though it can feel difficult to not catastrophise - when your mind assumes the worst possible outcome of a situation will happen - practicing alternative thoughts and behaviours can help. Engaging in mindfulness can help you control your thoughts and allow you to recognise when they are irrational.

Mind

How captive animals are coping with the sudden emptiness of the world’s zoos and aquariums

More than 700 million people visit zoos and aquariums each year <a href="https://www.waza.org/">worldwide</a>, so human visitors are usually a constant presence for the animals that live there. But the COVID-19 pandemic has forced these places to close to the public, plunging resident animals into an empty silence. Instead, zoos have been opening virtually during the lockdown, allowing people to see behind the closed doors from the comfort of their living rooms. Chester Zoo in the UK hosted an online tour so popular that it “<a href="https://www.cheshire-live.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/relive-chester-zoos-first-ever-18006186">broke the internet when it went viral</a>” according to one zookeeper, with hundreds of thousands of people worldwide flocking to the zoo’s Facebook page. Zoo workers have described how animals are greeting the isolation during COVID-19 closures. One zoo in India reported that animals were “<a href="https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/delhi/call-of-the-wild-quiet-brings-out-animal-instincts-at-zoo/articleshow/75665638.cms">loving the quiet spell</a>” – foxes were “frolicking around”, the hippopotamus was happily splashing in its pool and even the tigers were enjoying a dip. In other zoos, animals seem to be <a href="https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/local-news/animals-twycross-zoo-are-missing-4119435">missing people</a>. Twycross Zoo’s curator reported primates looking for zoo visitors, for instance. Some zoo animals are forgetting all about their previous lives, with garden eels at one Japanese aquarium hiding when staff members approached their enclosure. Workers have asked the public to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/01/japanese-aquarium-urges-public-to-video-chat-eels-who-are-forgetting-humans-exist">make video calls to their eels</a>, to try and prevent them from seeing visitors as a threat when the aquarium reopens. Meanwhile, some animals are enjoying the freedom of daily zoo walks, like the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVfTGFBJ8a8">penguins at the Shedd Aquarium</a> in Chicago, which were let out to wander the empty halls and look into the other enclosures. Is this reprieve from regular visitors healthy for zoo animals? And how will they respond to people suddenly flooding back once zoos reopen? Researchers and animal charities are worried that our pets will develop <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dogs-trust-separation-anxiety-pets-coronavirus-lockdown-a9477541.html">separation anxiety once their owners return to work</a>. The opposite might happen among zoo animals. Will captive creatures be desperate for the public to return or have they adapted to a slower, quieter life? When zoos reopen As zoos that have closed for months <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/coronavirus-lockdown-europe-austria-pools-zoos-opened-a4426021.html">reopen their doors</a>, we have an opportunity to study how visitors influence the lives of zoo animals. While we can’t predict the future, previous research on how zoo animals have responded to changes in visitor schedules might give us some idea of what to expect. During the night, zoo animals are used to relative peace and quiet. For many, beyond the odd security warden, there are no visitors. But before COVID-19, some zoos did open their doors outside of normal opening hours, for <a href="https://www.colchester-zoo.com/event/starlight-safari-night-2/">late-night tours</a> and <a href="https://twycrosszoo.org/events/twycross-zoo-safari-sleepover-camping-experience/">overnight camps</a>. Typically, we study animal behaviours to understand how they may be feeling and try to make judgements about their experiences. From that, we can say that zoo animals have tended to show mixed responses to evening events. A <a href="http://www.rhinoresourcecenter.com/pdf_files/142/1422582743.pdf">study</a> at a zoo in Germany found that elephants sought comfort from others in their herd during an evening firework display, but they didn’t retreat into their indoor enclosures. <a href="https://www.hindawi.com/journals/vmi/2017/6585380/">Researchers</a> at London Zoo noticed no changes in the behaviour of lions during sunset safaris, on evenings when the zoo was open for visitors until 10pm, compared to their behaviour during normal opening hours. Across the board, changes in the usual routines of zoo animals affect different species in different ways. The quiet caused by vanished visitors might mean more animals performing attention-seeking behaviours to try and interact with visitors more than normal, as keepers have reported chimpanzees doing <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/US/life-covid-19-animals-zookeepers-maryland-zoo/story?id=70422788">during lockdown</a>, as they reach out towards workers who would usually feed them by hand. It may also cause them to be overly skittish to human visitors when they return, like the garden eels in Japan. This is the longest time many zoo animals will have gone without the public, and zoo staff will have to help them transition back to normal life. Most zoos are planning <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-52493750">phased reopenings</a> of animal houses to prevent the sudden changes in noise disturbing the animals. Some animals, especially those born during the COVID-19 lockdown, will never have experienced life in the public eye. Many up-close animal encounters <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-zoos-must-change-to-keep-great-apes-safe-from-coronavirus-134692">will have to change</a>, particularly as <a href="https://theconversation.com/transmission-of-diseases-from-humans-to-apes-why-extra-vigilance-is-now-needed-134083">humans can transmit coronaviruses to great apes</a> in captivity. On your next visit, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-behave-at-a-zoo-according-to-science-73873">be cool, calm and collected</a>. Keepers and other zoo staff will be on hand to guide you, helping enforce social distancing and supporting you on how best to behave around the animals. Your local zoo will need visitors more than ever when they reopen. But remember, zoo animals will be experiencing their own post lockdown fuzz, and, just like you, they may need time to adjust. Written by Ellen Williams and Jessica Rendle. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-captive-animals-are-coping-with-the-sudden-emptiness-of-the-worlds-zoos-and-aquariums-138668">The Conversation.</a>

Travel Tips

How to cope without touch during coronavirus

Don’t shake hands, don’t high-five, and definitely don’t hug. We’ve been bombarded with these messages during the pandemic as a way to slow the spread of COVID-19, meaning we may not have hugged our friends and family in months. This might be really hard for a lot of us, particularly if we live alone. This is because positive physical touch can make us feel good. It boosts levels of hormones and neurotransmitters that promote mental well-being, is involved in bonding, and can help reduce stress. So how can we cope with a lack of touch? <img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/334569/original/file-20200513-82383-15hqj0h.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="" /> Wes Mountain/The Conversation, <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/4.0/" class="license">CC BY-ND</a> Touch helps us bond In humans, the hormone oxytocin is released during <a href="https://journals.lww.com/psychosomaticmedicine/Abstract/2008/11000/Influence_of_a__Warm_Touch__Support_Enhancement.4.aspx">hugging</a>, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2008.02324.x">touching</a>, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8135652/">and</a> <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3782434/">orgasm</a>. Oxytocin also acts as a neuropeptide, which are small molecules used in brain communication. It is involved in social recognition and bonding, such as between <a href="https://www.biologicalpsychiatryjournal.com/article/S0006-3223(10)00120-4/fulltext">parents</a> and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3582747/">children</a>. It may also be involved in <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0001128">generosity</a> and the formation of <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/nature03701">trust between people</a>. Touch also helps reduce <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763413001085?via%3Dihub">anxiety</a>. When premature babies are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1099800408327789?casa_token=UyxpZV84Ga4AAAAA:0qKl1M2evatEr299KZQMXn24rRu8xplYFuWgajWb1C-J73h1svAeJgb2IbOrRMx_ksqRBkw63GW8">held by their mothers</a>, both infants and mothers show a decrease in cortisol, a hormone involved in the stress response. Touch promotes mental well-being In adults with advanced cancer, massages or simple touch can reduce pain and <a href="https://annals.org/aim/article-abstract/742783/massage-therapy-versus-simple-touch-improve-pain-mood-patients-advanced">improve mood</a>. Massage therapy has been shown to increase <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1088868316650307?casa_token=dZb778AAnTAAAAAA%3Ai512eiP2Qyah4oj9VFPLJu9UvqES_Lv1T0TXIs-8SsAodnVfwfwBvnlhWIg5di-ZiDvS7-YMFCNB">levels of dopamine</a>, a neurotransmitter (one of the body’s chemical messengers) involved in satisfaction, motivation, and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0960982209018442">pleasure</a>. Dopamine is even released when we <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9858756/">anticipate</a> pleasurable activities such as eating and sex. Disruptions to normal dopamine levels are linked to a range of mental illnesses, including <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28289283/">schizophrenia, depression</a> and <a href="https://motamem.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/dopamine-functions-pathways.pdf">addiction</a>. Serotonin is another neurotransmitter that promotes feelings of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0028393206002910?via%3Dihub">well-being and happiness</a>. Positive touch boosts the release of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022399903005002">serotonin</a>, which corresponds with reductions in <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16162447/">cortisol</a>. Serotonin is also important for <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10080856/">immune system function</a>, and touch has been found to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1043454208323295?casa_token=kN8OStP1vNEAAAAA:FAuh0bnUQRNoJiGe1KyvUcpTQXTivmRnX7_UXyQjwAG-v9Lp44ZSlgaweJnY7Og7YMI9RC9YxbD9">improve our</a> <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15740822/">immune system response</a>. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23440471/">Symptoms of depression and suicidal behaviour</a> are associated with disruptions in normal serotonin levels. But what about a lack of touch? Due to social distancing measures during the COVID-19 pandemic, we should be vigilant about the possible effects of a lack of physical touch, on mental health. It is not ethical to experimentally deprive people of touch. Several studies have explored the impacts of naturally occurring reduced physical touch. For example, living in institutional care and receiving reduced positive touch from caregivers is associated with <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/development-and-psychopathology/article/impact-of-institutionalization-on-child-development/5DF14A15441D8235B9A946E0EAA33D45">cognitive</a> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053811901909176">and</a> <a href="https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1750-8606.2007.00004.x?casa_token=rVR0WRhyjk8AAAAA%3Ax0NsVLjChNFMf5myt1TBjSGm7bvdvKws-7jjgUr5r2Lmyvw-szX_rBFKkT12ItsnlsrzuQSD8CapzA">developmental</a> delays in children. These delays can persist for many years after <a href="https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2006.00898.x?casa_token=ZnNURAdsKrAAAAAA%3AFS72bcP6Ig6lCN8FI46GN9vloIqP9rROUg9uGtPx_JemFofu3vMwNOfH6oT8q3z7vVbuLD46Y2PRDw">adoption</a>. Less physical touch has also been linked with a higher likelihood of aggressive behaviour. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0300443991510102?casa_token=bZf5x9lhwNkAAAAA:yUsRa2LZ6nWfn_JA5MVMNFd32Kog7VPcSyuAhhTdn4-PCD65Ac5ZnE8eW_Uv8ekUZHuL4IE4yhgr">One study</a> observed preschool children in playgrounds with their parents and peers, in both the US and France, and found that parents from the US touched their children less than French parents. It also found the children from the US displayed more aggressive behaviour towards their parents and peers, compared to preschoolers in France. Another study observed adolescents from the US and France interacting with their peers. The American kids showed more aggressive verbal and physical behaviour than French adolescents, <a href="https://go.gale.com/ps/anonymous?id=GALE%7CA59810232&sid=googleScholar&v=2.1&it=r&linkaccess=abs&issn=00018449&p=AONE&sw=w">who engaged in more physical touch</a>, although there may also be other factors that contribute to different levels of aggression in young people from different cultures. Maintain touch where we can We can maintain touch with the people we live with even if we are not getting our usual level of physical contact elsewhere. Making time for a hug with family members can even help with promoting positive mood during conflict. Hugging is associated with smaller decreases in positive emotions and can lessen the impact of negative emotions in times of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6169869/">conflict</a>. In children, positive touch is correlated with more self-control, happiness, and pro-social skills, which are behaviours intended to benefit others. People who received more affection in childhood behave more pro-socially in <a href="https://link.springer.com/epdf/10.1186/s41155-019-0129-0?author_access_token=CbUzFXMVtXQL2lmf5BV1wm_BpE1tBhCbnbw3BuzI2RM8OT5TtfvmMHxgMooOJlL5qpk4nvXH8JFe5eXPtcMFc9eaCU5804N8DmnqjYuywulsb9KjAyYKHOa7brBihmOftIV-4CscBuXEInDWdZw4uA%3D%3D">adulthood</a> and also have more secure attachments, meaning they display more positive views of themselves, others, and relationships. Pets can help Petting animals can increase levels of oxytocin and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.2752/175303711X13045914865385">decrease cortisol</a>, so you can still get your fill of touch by interacting with your pets. Pets can reduce <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408111/">stress, anxiety</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.2752/175303707X207954">depression</a> and improve <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408111/">overall health</a>. In paediatric hospital settings, pet therapy results in improvements in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15326888chc3104_5?casa_token=G8-y9KR7dAAAAAAA:O4DN6KFbXxhX0ePX51-3yMotiehGdWHTD3j2f72FBLy3VGpsQ1NSB2T3RNPKCOkUZs-4h1b_pW2M">mood</a>. In adults, companion animals can decrease mental distress in people experiencing <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103111002411?casa_token=AVYxxYaVqi8AAAAA:tEpkuxiITfvS5evk60XO6nOAEHmihxWv_WrQq6GIWb9lcNvQLj4JnEpmOWDKbeOcwgbqicsb-dg">social exclusion</a>. What if I live alone? If you live alone, and you don’t have any pets, don’t despair. There are many ways to promote mental health and well-being even in the absence of a good hug. <a href="https://www.lifestylemedicine.org/">The American College of Lifestyle Medicine</a> highlights six areas for us to invest in to promote or <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-your-mental-health-deteriorating-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic-heres-what-to-look-out-for-134827">improve our mental health</a>: sleep, nutrition, social connectedness, exercise, stress management, and avoiding risky substance use. <a href="https://www.hsj.gr/medicine/stress-management-techniques-evidencebased-procedures-that-reduce-stress-and-promote-health.php?aid=3429">Stress management techniques</a> that use breathing or relaxation may be a way to nurture your body when touch and hugs aren’t available. Staying in touch with friends and loved ones can <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/">increase oxytocin and reduce stress</a> by providing the social support we all need during physical distancing. <hr /> This article is supported by the <a href="https://theconversation.com/au/partners/judith-neilson-institute">Judith Neilson Institute for Journalism and Ideas</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/137612/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michaela-pascoe-429568">Michaela Pascoe</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow in Mental Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/victoria-university-1175">Victoria University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alexandra-parker-572547">Alexandra Parker</a>, Professor of Physical Activity and Mental Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/victoria-university-1175">Victoria University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/glen-hosking-1056173">Glen Hosking</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/victoria-university-1175">Victoria University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sarah-dash-137408">Sarah Dash</a>, Postdoctoral research fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/victoria-university-1175">Victoria University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/miss-hugs-touch-forms-bonds-and-boosts-immune-systems-heres-how-to-cope-without-it-during-coronavirus-137612">original article</a>.

Body

7 science-based strategies to cope with coronavirus anxiety

As the SARS-CoV-2 virus continues its global spread and the number of diagnosed COVID-19 cases continues to increase, anxiety related to the outbreak is on the rise too. <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=jlev7ekAAAAJ&hl=en&oi=ao">As a psychologist</a>, I am seeing this in my practice already. Although feeling anxiety in response to a threat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.105.2.325">is a normal human reaction</a>, sustained high anxiety can undermine constructive responses to the crisis. People who already suffer from anxiety and related disorders are especially likely to have a hard time during the coronavirus crisis. The following suggestions, based on psychological science, can help you deal with coronavirus anxiety. 1. Practice tolerating uncertainty Intolerance of uncertainty, which has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/16506073.2018.1476580">increasing in the U.S.</a>, makes people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1586/ern.12.82">vulnerable to anxiety</a>. A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/bjhp.12058">study during the 2009 H1N1 pandemic</a> showed that people who had a harder time accepting the uncertainty of the situation were more likely to experience elevated anxiety. The solution is to learn to gradually face uncertainty in daily life by easing back on certainty-seeking behaviors. Start small: Don’t text your friend immediately the next time you need an answer to a question. Go on a hike without checking the weather beforehand. As you build your tolerance-of-uncertainty muscle, you can work to reduce the number of times a day you consult the internet for updates on the outbreak. 2. Tackle the anxiety paradox <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2014.07.001">Anxiety rises</a> proportionally to how much one tries to get rid of it. Or as Carl Jung put it, “<a href="https://www.routledge.com/C-G-Jung-The-Basics/Williams/p/book/9781138195448">What you resist persists</a>.” Struggling against anxiety can take many forms. People might try to distract themselves by drinking, eating or watching Netflix more than usual. They might repeatedly seek reassurance from friends, family or health experts. Or they might obsessively check news streams, hoping to calm their fears. Although these behaviors can help momentarily, they can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2850.2010.01213.x">make anxiety worse</a> in the long run. Avoiding the experience of anxiety almost always backfires. Instead, allow your anxious thoughts, feelings and physical sensations to wash over you, accepting anxiety as an integral part of human experience. When waves of coronavirus anxiety show up, notice and <a href="https://www.newharbinger.com/mindfulness-based-stress-reduction-workbook-second-edition">describe the experience</a> to yourself or others <a href="https://www.uclahealth.org/marc/body.cfm?id=22&iirf_redirect=1">without judgment</a>. Resist the urge to escape or calm your fears by obsessively reading virus updates. Paradoxically, facing anxiety in the moment will lead to less anxiety over time. 3. Transcend existential anxiety Health threats trigger the fear that underlies all fears: <a href="https://wwnorton.com/books/9780393350876">fear of death</a>. When faced with reminders of one’s own mortality, people might become consumed with health anxiety and hyperfocused on any signs of illness. Try connecting to your life’s purpose and sources of meaning, be it spirituality, relationships, or pursuit of a cause. Embark on something important that you’ve been putting off for years and take responsibility for how you live your life. Focusing on or discovering <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/smi.1095">the “why” of life</a> can go a long way in helping you deal with unavoidable anxiety. 4. Don’t underestimate human resiliency Many people fear how they will manage if the virus shows up in town, at work or at school. They worry how they would cope with a quarantine, a daycare closure or a lost paycheck. Human minds are good at predicting the worst. But research shows that people tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2005.00355.x">overestimate how badly they’ll be affected</a> by negative events and <a href="http://bit.ly/3cFFkIk">underestimate how well they’ll cope with</a> and adjust to difficult situations. Be mindful that you are more resilient than you think. It can help attenuate your anxiety. 5. Don’t get sucked into overestimating the threat Coronavirus can be dangerous, with an estimated <a href="https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMoa2002032">1.4%</a> to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2020.2648">2.3%</a> death rate. So everyone should be serious about taking all the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-really-works-to-keep-coronavirus-away-4-questions-answered-by-a-public-health-professional-132959">reasonable precautions against infection</a>. But people also should realize that humans tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/1539-6924.00276">exaggerate the danger of unfamiliar threats</a> compared to ones they already know, like seasonal flu or car accidents. Constant incendiary media coverage <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/eurpub/ckp061">contributes to the sense of danger</a>, which leads to heightened fear and further <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2006.00461.x">escalation of perceived danger</a>. To reduce anxiety, I recommend limiting your exposure to coronavirus news to no more than 30 minutes per day. And remember that we become more anxious when faced with situations that have no clear precedent. Anxiety, in turn, makes everything seem more dire. 6. Strengthen self-care During these anxiety-provoking times, it’s important to remember the tried-and-true anxiety prevention and reduction strategies. Get <a href="https://doi.org/10.5665/sleep.2810">adequate sleep</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amepre.2019.05.012">exercise regularly</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.12.002">practice mindfulness</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/anxiety-and-depression-why-doctors-are-prescribing-gardening-rather-than-drugs-121841">spend time in nature</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/1471-244X-8-41">employ relaxation techniques</a> when stressed. Prioritizing these behaviors during the coronavirus crisis can go a long way toward increasing your psychological well being and <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-strong-immune-system-helps-ward-off-colds-and-flus-but-its-not-the-only-factor-99512">bolstering your immune system</a>. 7. Seek professional help if you need it People who are vulnerable to anxiety and related disorders might find the coronavirus epidemic <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-015-9701-9">particularly overwhelming</a>. Consequently, they might experience anxiety symptoms that interfere with work, maintaining close relationships, socializing or taking care of themselves and others. If this applies to you, please get professional help from your doctor or a mental health professional. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psc.2010.04.002">Cognitive behavioral therapy</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/msj.20041">certain medications</a> can successfully treat anxiety problems. Although you might feel helpless during this stressful time, following these strategies can help keep anxiety from becoming a problem in its own right and enable you to make it through the epidemic more effectively. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jelena-kecmanovic-472294">Jelena Kecmanovic</a>, Adjunct Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/georgetown-university-1239">Georgetown University</a> This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/7-science-based-strategies-to-cope-with-coronavirus-anxiety-133207">original article</a>.

Body

How to cope with extreme heat days without racking up the aircon bill

Summer in Australia is <a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/climate/updates/articles/a032.shtml">getting hotter</a>. Extreme heat events, with daytime temperatures over 35 degrees Celsius, are becoming more common and we are getting more of these days in a row. We all need to prepare ourselves, our homes and our neighbourhoods for hot and very hot days. Since 2016, the <a href="https://www.westernsydney.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0020/1161470/cooling-the-commons-report.pdf">Cooling the Commons</a> research project has been working with people living in some of Sydney’s hottest neighbourhoods to learn how they cope with heat. Discussion groups with residents across hotspots in Western Sydney, including Penrith, Cranebrook and St Marys, highlighted a wealth of things we can do to manage heat. We published some of the following tips in a recent <a href="https://www.westernsydney.edu.au/ics/news/new_resource_by_institute_researchers_provides_advice_on_how_to_prepare_for_heat">flier</a>. Why can’t we all just rely on air conditioning? Official advice for extreme heat is often to stay inside and turn on the air conditioning. While air conditioning can play a role, <a href="https://www.canstarblue.com.au/appliances/air-conditioning-running-costs/">not everyone can afford it</a>. Low-income and older households can be especially vulnerable to bill shock and are more likely to feel the impacts of extreme heat. There is also the risk that running air conditioners uses <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2019/jul/09/australias-emissions-reach-the-highest-on-record-driven-by-electricity-sector">energy resources that contribute further to global warming</a>. More immediately, hot exhaust air from air-conditioning units can <a href="https://agupubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/2013JD021225">make the local environment hotter</a>. This means keeping one home cool can make it harder for neighbours to keep their homes cool and make being outside even more uncomfortable. Air conditioning in private homes creates a cool refuge for only some. Unless those homes have an open-door policy on hot days, many of us will need to find other ways to keep cool. If you do have air conditioning, think about how you could share your air with those near you who might really need it. Prepare before the heat hits Shade is important for creating more comfortable living spaces. Identify which parts of your home get the most afternoon sun in summer. Can you plant trees or vines, or move a pot plant outside the window to create a green screen? Can you attach awnings to shade the windows? Low-cost temporary solutions can include attaching light-coloured shade cloth outside the window using removable hooks, or installing heavy drapes or blinds inside. Blankets or even aluminium foil are a low-cost creative way of keeping heat out. Open up to let in cool air at night Can you open the windows and doors overnight to let in cooler air? If you are concerned about security, look for options for locking the windows in an open position, or using flyscreens and security grilles on windows and doors. A low-cost option to keeping flying insects at bay on hot nights is a mosquito net over the window or around the bed. Use low-cost resources to prepare in advance. Ceiling or portable fans are one of the best ways to cool your body when it’s hot. But remember fans don’t cool rooms, so turn off the fan when you leave the room or you’re just burning electricity. Find ice trays and containers to freeze water – cake tins and storage containers are a good option. Putting these in front of a portable fan will mean the fan blows cool air. Putting a wet face cloth on the insides of your wrists, around your ankles or on the back of your neck will bring down your body temperature. Hanging damp sheets in doorways or in front of a fan will help keep the temperature down – although the trick with the sheets won’t work if it’s a really humid day. How to stay cool and comfortable on hot days Morning is likely to be the coolest time of the day. Open up your windows and doors to let in the cooler morning air. It’s the best time to be active – walk the dog, take the kids to the park, go for a swim. If possible, do your cleaning, cooking or outside work now. Plan meals that don’t require an oven. Close up as it heats up. As the day starts to get hot, close the house up – shut windows, blinds and curtains. This could be as early as 9am on really hot days. If you are heading out to work, do this before you leave home. Closing internal doors can help to keep the heat in one part of your home. You need to close doors to any parts of the home that get hot before the day gets hot. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Put a jug of tap water in the fridge and remember to top it up. Don’t forget to move pet water bowls and day beds out of the sun. If you live in a dry area, it can’t hurt to put out extra water bowls for needy wildlife! Find a cooling refuge. If your home gets uncomfortably hot, find the closest cooling refuges in your neighbourhood. These are places where you can go to cool down. Good examples that won’t break the bank are the local swimming pool or library. Some local councils provide <a href="http://coolparramatta.com.au/">lists</a> of <a href="https://www.penrithcity.nsw.gov.au/waste-environment/cooling-the-city/beat-the-heat">cooling centres</a> on their websites. Save air conditioning for when it’s most needed. Try to save air conditioning for the hottest parts of the day. It will be most effective and cheapest to run if your home is well insulated and you’ve closed it up for the day. Look after neighbours. Remember to check on elderly or frail neighbours. Along with the very young, they are usually more affected by the heat and may need to cool down sooner than you do. If your neighbours are in need, consider inviting them into your home to cool down. When it’s hot, let’s <a href="https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Infrastructures-of-Care%3A-Opening-up-%E2%80%9CHome%E2%80%9D-as-in-a-Lopes-Healy/1920004e258483d40017ff468370e4892e11fce5">think of our cities as social commons</a> rather than a collection of private spaces. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emma-power-250930">Emma Power</a>, Senior Research Fellow, Geography and Urban Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/abby-mellick-lopes-388977">Abby Mellick Lopes</a>, Associate Professor, Design, School of Humanities and Communication Arts, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/louise-crabtree-128457">Louise Crabtree</a>, Associate Professor, Institute for Culture and Society, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-cope-with-extreme-heat-days-without-racking-up-the-aircon-bills-128857">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

Coping with loss: When should you unfriend the dead?

Grieving in the digital age has become trickier as our lives are more intertwined with social media. With 60 per cent of Australians on Facebook, people will have had a digital interaction with a loved one who has passed away. Psychology academic Jessica Blower from the University of the Sunshine Coast said that her research has found higher levels of anxiety and stress among people who interact with their deceased loved ones on Facebook. She told <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-06-22/knowing-when-to-unfriend-the-dead-on-facebook/11210666">The ABC</a>: "What we are hearing now anecdotally is because of Facebook currently capitalising on nostalgia," she said. "Individuals are feeling more and more that they need to defriend the dead, or at least deactivate the follow functions, so they are not getting some of these reminders." She said she wouldn’t go as far to tell people not to share their grief online, but has suggested that people ask themselves beforehand: What do they hope to get out of it? "Then use that information to reflect, if they can, on whether what they're doing is best for them in the moment — a very hard ask during a time of bereavement." Dr Kerry Gruber Vella has said that she has increasingly witnessed the effects of people managing Facebook accounts after their loved one has passed. "The sad thing is that for some of those people hosting those pages, it's part of their process for managing their own grief," she said. "You might be looking at Facebook for five minutes when you have a break at work, not thinking that you're going to look at that [grief-related] content, and then it comes up and you're flooded with difficult emotions but you have to go back to work." One suggestion from Dr Gruber Vella is that you limit the accounts’ posts from appearing on your feed. "One of the things you can choose to do is go to your friend's Facebook page and look at it when you choose to," she said. "If you do that and you can look at the comments, it can help you cope with that experience and process." Tama Leaver has said that Facebook has responded to criticism about the unwanted posts and notifications from deceased Facebook friends. "There were quite a number of people who had passed away and their algorithms started recommending people become friends with deceased people, which of course was very unsettling," he said. "They've extended that to include a legacy account, where you can nominate someone to have limited access to edit your account after you pass away," Dr Leaver said. However, Dr Leaver says that there are “a lot of issues to be considered” surrounding death and Facebook. "If I am posting things to my friends, should I be reminiscing about something we did years ago, and how much detail should I share?”

Technology

How to cope when you're getting a divorce

Perhaps you were the instigator, after years of thought. Or your partner announced it, out of the blue. Maybe you decided together that things just weren’t working. The fact is, you’re now separated or divorced and there are a huge number of emotional and practical issues to deal with. Are you OK? Many people compare the end of a significant relationship with grieving for a lost friend or relative. You can experience strong feelings like fear, sadness, resentfulness, anger, confusion and bitterness to name just a few. Be mindful of both your mental health and physical wellbeing. It can be tempting to turn to food, smoking, alcohol, gambling, drugs, or promiscuous behaviour but none of these things bring long-term relief. Only time will help you heal, but with the help of friends or even a counsellor, this is possible. Being practical Ending a relationship that’s lasted a decade or more involves many practical issues. The first two key ones to address are where you plan to live, and what assets/income you’ll have to live on. According to Amy McGinn, Post Separation Services Manager of Relationships Australia, after separa-tion or divorce, many people need to learn how to handle their own finances for the first time. “It’s best to get independent financial advice; perhaps from a financial advisor. Relationships Australia offers property mediation to help couples split assets, and individual counselling to assist people with things like budgeting which can actually be quite empowering.” Being positive Whilst separation and divorce can be incredibly painful and challenging, Ms McGinn suggests you’ve got some new opportunities. “It’s the chance to make choices for yourself, rather than choices for a whole family. You can make new friends that don’t need to know your separation story; they just know you,” she says. You can start new hobbies without worrying about what your ex-partner thinks. You can try volunteering or work on your bucket list. If you need help, the following organisations offer information and/or assistance: <a href="http://www.relationships.org.au/">relationshipsaustralia.org.au</a> <a href="http://www.beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a> <a href="http://www.menslineaus.org.au/">menslineaus.org.au</a> Written by Gabe McGrath. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/how-to-cope-when-youre-getting-a-divorce.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a>

Retirement Life

Prince Harry’s close friend reveals how he's coping with fatherhood: "He was ready for it"

A close friend of Prince Harry’s has opened up about the new father’s “very happy” life with his son Archie and wife, the Duchess of Sussex. Argentinian polo player Ignacoio 'Nacho' Figueras has shared a touching tribute to the Duke of Sussex in a new post to Instagram, dubbing him an “inspiring” and “compassionate” father. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx52kr0Bzy3/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx52kr0Bzy3/" target="_blank">A post shared by Ignacio Figueras (@nachofigueras)</a> on May 25, 2019 at 4:28pm PDT </div> </blockquote> Figueras met the royal member on the field as captain of the Sentebale St. Regus Team in Rome on Friday during the Sentebale ISPS Handa Polo Cup. The event is for a charity co-founded by Prince Harry and Prince Seeiso in 2006 after the Duke took a gap year to Lesotho in 2004. The special event is one made to raise money and awareness for the charity’s efforts to support young people whose life has been impacted by HIV in Southern Africa. Figueras posted a photo of him and the Prince embracing, alongside a heart-warming message for his friend. “The world thinks they know everything about this man,” the post read. “I have been fortunate enough to spend enough time over the years to learn and understand the man he really is, a kind, generous, compassionate person who is constantly thinking about how to make the world a better place, wether [sic] that is helping kids in Africa, talking openly about mental health, encouraging children or talking about climate change and the things that we all human beings need to change for the next generations." Figueras added: “I see him do that over and over again and it is truly inspiring. I am honored to be your friend and let’s keep fighting because if we all fight together love always wins.” The professional polo player told <a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-pal-nacho-figueras-calls-royal-inspiring/" target="_blank">People</a> the Prince has been ready for a long time to be a father. “I think this is a very exciting part of his life. He was ready for it and he is loving it,” he explained. “The Duke is the kind of father I always imagined he would be. “The Duke is very happy with this stage of his life and I believe he is going to enjoy it very much. He is a wonderful father and very present and he is here for an amazing cause.” <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BltlkJBBU4b/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BltlkJBBU4b/" target="_blank">A post shared by Ignacio Figueras (@nachofigueras)</a> on Jul 26, 2018 at 3:51pm PDT </div> </blockquote> Figueras and his wife were one of the few hundred guests who attended the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding last year. He made headlines in 2018 for photobombing a sweet moment between Duchess Meghan and the Prince, during the Sentebale cup’s trophy presentation at the Berkshire Polo Club. “This girl really rocks,” Figueras wrote in a post dedicated to the Duchess of Sussex last year. “The more I know you the more I am convinced that you both found each other to change the world. Let’s push the envelope!! Let’s make the world a better place.”

News

How the power of a hug can help you cope with conflict

Friends, children, romantic partners, family members – many of us exchange hugs with others on a regular basis. New research from the United States, <a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0203522">published in PLOS</a>, now shows hugs can help us to cope with conflict in our daily life. Hugs are considered a form of <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1088868316650307">affectionate touch</a>. Hugs occur between social partners of all types, and sometimes even strangers. They often arise in positive contexts – while greeting, celebrating an achievement, or simply enjoying the presence of a loved one – but they can also occur in negative contexts when support is needed. Affectionate touch buffers anxiety associated with potential negative events. For instance, in one <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832.x">study</a>, brain activity among participants who held their romantic partner’s hand during a stressful situation reflected less intense threat responses compared to that of participants who held a stranger’s hand, or no hand at all. Hugs and conflict The <a href="http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0203522">research</a>, led by Carnegie Mellon’s <a href="https://murphypsychology.com/about/">Michael Murphy</a>, reveals the important role that hugs can play in buffering against the negative impact of interpersonal conflict such as disagreements and arguments. This study used data from 404 generally healthy adults. They were interviewed via phone by a researcher at the end of the day, each day, for 14 days. Participants indicated whether or not they had experienced any interpersonal tension or conflict during their day, and whether anyone had hugged them in the past 24 hours. They also rated their experience of both positive affect (such as happy, calm, cheerful) and negative affect (for instance, unhappy, angry, tense) that day. Most participants (93 per cent) reported receiving a hug on at least one day of the interview period. The same was true for interpersonal conflict (69 per cent). Four per cent of total days of interview data involved conflict with no receipt of a hug. Ten per cent of days involved conflict and receipt of a hug. How did interpersonal conflict and hugs contribute to emotional experience? On days when individuals experienced conflict when they had had a hug, they experienced less negative affect and more positive affect than on days when they experienced conflict when they had had no hug. The pattern for negative affect even carried over to the next day. You might wonder how robust these results were. When the researchers examined participant sex, they found a few overall results (e.g., men reported both more conflict and more hug receipt than women), but the key finding above held for both sexes. Further, in all analyses, the researchers controlled for participants’ age, ethnicity, marital status, education, and the number of unique individuals participants had interacted with on a given day – thus ruling out many alternative explanations. What we don’t yet know is the causal order of this relationship. The study design only assessed whether a hug was received and whether interpersonal conflict had occurred. So, it’s unclear whether the hug preceded or followed from the conflict. We also don’t know whether the hug and the conflict involved the same person, nor do we know the type or severity of the conflict. So we should be careful about advocating “<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hug%20it%20out">hugging it out</a>”. Those caveats aside, this research fits within a broader <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763408001723">field of research</a> that points to the importance of affectionate touch – for both physical and social wellbeing. For instance, other <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797614559284">findings</a> from this research team show that receiving hugs reduces the likelihood of catching the common cold, and reduces the severity of symptoms even if infected. Why are hugs beneficial? Why might hugs be beneficial? Being hugged leads to release of the hormone <a href="https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging">oxytocin</a>, setting off a range of downstream outcomes that could explain the benefits of hugging. Oxytocin is involved in a <a href="https://www.nature.com/news/neuroscience-the-hard-science-of-oxytocin-1.17813">complex range</a> of social processes, but has been implicated romantic bonding and trust. Other research suggests the benefits of hugs and affectionate touch more generally rest within the cardiovascular system. One <a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1802/c19b1e7fb2e3a61966e37101c9ed0b329c32.pdf">study</a> found lower systolic blood pressure in the husbands of couples asked to increase the frequency of affectionate touch with one another. Other <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301051104001632">research</a> documents lowered blood pressure and heart rate among women who receive frequent hugs. Psychologically, hugs and affectionate touch more generally communicate social support. We hug to convey that we care, that we’re grateful for a benefit received, that we share in an achievement. Receiving a hug therefore serves as a signal that the social relationship is characterised by closeness and concern. It’s no surprise then, that relationships characterised by frequent affectionate touch are <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167213497592">happier relationships</a>. Hug specifics Not all hugs are alike. Does variability in hug characteristics matter? Does giving hugs carry similar benefit as receiving hugs? Some <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0031938417301336">research</a> indicates that being on the receiving end of affectionate touch has the most benefit. Chances are, though, that fully reciprocal hugs are equally beneficial. Can the benefits of affectionate touch carry beyond humans? The answer is yes. Hugging and affectionate touch with <a href="https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/abstract/document/8172336">robots</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/therapy-dogs-can-help-reduce-student-stress-anxiety-and-improve-school-attendance-93073">therapy dogs</a> and <a href="http://time.com/4728315/science-says-pet-good-for-mental-health/">pets of all types</a> produce a range of positive outcomes, likely supported by the same underlying mechanisms as human to human touch, such as <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3408111/">oxytocin release</a>. Does the number of hugs and the number of people you hug matter? More hugs are better, at least among <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15740822">romantic couples</a>, but we don’t yet know if more frequent hugs with a larger number of people is important. Does the duration of the hug matter? Most hugs are <a href="https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2011/01/hugs-follow-3-second-rule">three seconds</a> long, but evidence suggests that hugs of <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4131508.stm">20 seconds</a> are those that kick off the cardiovascular benefits mentioned above. So seek out a hug. Chances are, you’ll be better for it.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/104318/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> Written by Lisa A Williams, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, UNSW. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-power-of-a-hug-can-help-you-cope-with-conflict-104318">The Conversation</a>.

Relationships

Why breakups are so hard and how to cope with them

Despite populist writings that love lasts forever, the divorce statistics across various countries tell us that anywhere between <a href="https://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/dyb/dyb2011/Table23.pdf">one in 25 to two in three marriages end</a>. If these statistics were to take into account the number of nonmarital long-term relationships that end, then the statistics would be much higher. Most of us experience a relationship breakup at some point in our lives. For some of us, the experience may be most profound when we lose our first love. This is largely because our first loves are our first experience at learning what romantic love is, how to navigate the joys and challenges of love and what it’s like to <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev.psych.60.110707.163459">experience relationship loss</a>. For some, the loss of a first love is also the first time the physical and psychological <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev.psych.60.110707.163459">symptoms of grief and loss are experienced</a>. A romantic relationship that has spanned a considerable time (decades in some cases) also provokes <a href="http://www.oxfordhandbooks.com/view/10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195398694.001.0001/oxfordhb-9780195398694">intense feelings of loss</a>, even when people knew their relationship was problematic. They may have found their relationship dissatisfying and view their former partner as insensitive, selfish, argumentative – even unloving - and still mourn the loss of it. Why do we experience feelings of loss after breakup? During the adult years, our romantic partners hold a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300095">special significance</a> – a significance that was once held by our parents or parent-like figures. Our romantic partners become the primary people we turn to for <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300095">love, comfort, and security</a>. Above anyone else, we turn to our partners for care and support in times of threat and distress. We <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232603085_Interpersonal_Safe_Haven_and_Secure_Base_Caregiving_Processes_in_Adulthood">also turn to them for validation</a> and to share in our success during times of joy and achievement. The loss of the most significant person in our life causes us to experience distress, and in the early stages of relationship loss, this distress compounds. This is because our natural reaction when our partner isn’t physically or psychologically present to meet our needs is to “up” the distress. This increase in distress occurs for two reasons: <ol> <li> we feel more vulnerable when our partner is not there to meet our needs </li> <li> increasing our distress can alert our partner that we need their support </li> </ol> This is why breaking up is so hard: the key person in life that helps you deal with the good, the bad, and the ugly, is not there to help you deal with this highly distressing loss. What are the typical emotions experienced? The so called “normative” emotional response to relationship loss depends on whether you are doing the breaking up, or, your partner is breaking up with you. Breaking up with a long-term romantic partner is not something a person undertakes lightly. We generally only consider relationship <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Handbook-of-Divorce-and-Relationship-Dissolution/Fine-Harvey/p/book/9781315820880">breakup as a viable option if</a>: <ul> <li> our partner is consistently not meeting our needs </li> <li> we experience a relationship betrayal to the point trust cannot be restored </li> <li> stressors, challenges, and social disapproval outside the relationship are so chronic and intense the relationship breaks down to the point it cannot be revived. </li> </ul> The person doing the breaking up will often <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0265407598156005">experience</a> relief, mixed with feelings of guilt (because of the hurt they’re inflicting on their partner), anxiety (over how the breakup will be received) and sadness (especially if they still have love and fondness for their partner). For the person whose partner is breaking up with them, the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00112.x">emotions experienced</a> often relate to the three phases of loss people undergo. In the first phase, a person protests the breakup and tries to re-establish closeness with their partner. In this phase, the dominant emotion experienced is one of anger, but the threat of loss brings about distress emotions such as panic and anxiety. These feelings of “separation protest” can sometimes be so strong that a person <a href="https://www.elsevier.com/books/adult-attachment/gillath/978-0-12-420020-3">works very hard to get back with their partner</a>. But if the relationship is truly at an end, then engaging in this kind of behaviour only makes it harder (and longer) to recover from the relationship loss. These powerful feelings that sit behind separation protest are why, even in toxic relationships, a person may wish to reunite with their partner. In the second phase, a person comes to the realisation that getting back together is not possible, and so, feelings of sadness dominate alongside feelings of lethargy and hopelessness. In the third phase, a person comes to terms with, and accepts, the loss. Time and energy is then devoted to other life tasks and goals (which can include seeking out a new partner). A question often asked when it comes to relationship breakups is “how long should I feel like this?” The experience of relationship loss is a very individual experience, and there’s great variability in how long it can take for people to recover from the loss. People’s circumstances can also complicate recovery. A relationship that ended (on good or bad terms), but still involves seeing one’s former partner (say, because they work at the same organisation or share custody of their children) can increase the process of recovery, and make it more challenging. This is because seeing one’s partner may reactivate feelings of hurt, anger or sadness, especially if a person didn’t want the relationship to end. We also know aspects of people’s personality can impact on their ability to recover from loss. People who experience <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300162">insecurity</a> about themselves and their relationships find it harder to deal with and recover from feelings of anger and sadness than people who feel secure within themselves and their relationships. In general, people tend to work through the various stages of loss to reach the recovery phase from anywhere between <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Handbook-of-Divorce-and-Relationship-Dissolution/Fine-Harvey/p/book/9781315820880">one month to six months</a> after the relationship has ended. Recovering from relationship loss People who recover from relationship loss tend not to <a href="https://www.elsevier.com/books/adult-attachment/gillath/978-0-12-420020-3">defend against the emotions they are experiencing</a>. That is, they try not to suppress or ignore their feelings, and in doing so, they give themselves the opportunity to process their emotions and to make sense of them. Some studies have suggested <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760802068480">writing about the loss</a>, much like journalling, can also help with recovery from relationship loss. On the other hand, <a href="https://www.elsevier.com/books/adult-attachment/gillath/978-0-12-420020-3">brooding over these emotions, not accepting the relationship loss</a>, and talking about the breakup with people who only increase your feelings of sadness and anger by reinforcing these negative feelings or further highlighting all you have lost, are not particularly constructive ways of dealing with the breakup. Seeking support from friends and family is important, but not only do people require emotional comfort, they also require encouragement that they can get through it, and reassurance that what they are experiencing is normal – and will pass. If a person is truly having a hard time dealing with the loss – they are in a constant state of sadness, feel chronically depressed, are unable to function on a daily basis – then seeking professional help from a counsellor or psychologist is highly advisable. Some people might just need a bit of extra help in learning how to process their emotions to reach recovery. Relationship breakups are never easy, and most of us will experience the pain of loss at some point in life. While the experience is painful and challenging, it can be a time where we learn a lot about ourselves, experience profound personal growth, and gain a greater appreciation of the kind of relationship we truly want. Written by Gery Karantzas, Associate professor in Social Psychology / Relationship Science, Deakin University. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-breakups-are-so-hard-and-how-to-cope-with-them-96339">The Conversation</a>.

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We make thousands of unconscious decisions every day. Here’s how your brain copes with that

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5 tips to cope with overwhelming feelings

How captive animals are coping with the sudden emptiness of the world’s zoos and aquariums

How to cope without touch during coronavirus

7 science-based strategies to cope with coronavirus anxiety

How to cope with extreme heat days without racking up the aircon bill

Coping with loss: When should you unfriend the dead?

How to cope when you're getting a divorce

Prince Harry’s close friend reveals how he's coping with fatherhood: "He was ready for it"

How the power of a hug can help you cope with conflict

Why breakups are so hard and how to cope with them

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Could you cope with a shock to your bank balance? 5 ways to check you are financially resilient

Pilot praised for revealing simple trick to cope with severe turbulence

How climate change will affect your pet – and how to help them cope

How to cope with a fear of flying

We make thousands of unconscious decisions every day. Here’s how your brain copes with that

Tips to cope with losing independence with age

5 keys to understanding grief

‘Laid awake and wept’: destruction of nature takes a toll on the human psyche. Here’s one way to cope

News of war can impact your mental health — here’s how to cope

How to cope when you’re caring for your parents – and your kids

5 tips to cope with overwhelming feelings

How captive animals are coping with the sudden emptiness of the world’s zoos and aquariums

How to cope without touch during coronavirus

7 science-based strategies to cope with coronavirus anxiety

How to cope with extreme heat days without racking up the aircon bill

Coping with loss: When should you unfriend the dead?

How to cope when you're getting a divorce

Prince Harry’s close friend reveals how he's coping with fatherhood: "He was ready for it"

How the power of a hug can help you cope with conflict

Why breakups are so hard and how to cope with them

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