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Coronation quiche? Not if the French have anything to say about it

When the British royal family revealed Charles’ ‘Coronation Quiche’, the internet was sent into a frenzy. From concerns for the nation’s crippling egg crisis to complaints over the entirely uninspired choice, <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/food-wine/king-charles-signature-coronation-dish-mercilessly-mocked">people had a lot to say</a>. And now, the French have chimed in, though their issue isn’t necessarily with the dish itself, but instead with its name. They claim that the celebratory dish has been given an incorrect label. The recipe for the Coronation Quiche - released by Buckingham Palace - calls for broad beans, tarragon, spinach, and absolutely no meat in line with Charles’ environmental concerns. The ingredients are considered by many to be traditionally English, although fresh tarragon is often included in various French dishes. But according to French quiche enthusiasts, there can only be one kind of quiche, and that’s the 'lorraine'. The dish is named after the northeastern Lorraine region that it comes from, and is made from shortcrust pastry, eggs and cream with nutmeg, and small bits of bacon. Although, to sidestep that particular issue, Twitter user @RebeccaCNReid used a little red, white, and very blue language to suggest an alternative name that comes close enough to ‘lorraine’ to get it over the line ... <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> what fucking idiot didn't call it quiche le reign? <a href="https://t.co/EFbCZ52UZN">https://t.co/EFbCZ52UZN</a> — Rebecca Reid (@RebeccaCNReid) <a href="https://twitter.com/RebeccaCNReid/status/1648087895025041409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 17, 2023</a></blockquote> Evelyne Muller-Derveaux, president of the Quiche Lorraine Guild, explained to The Times that “they called it a quiche, but I would rather say it's a savoury tart. "When you say quiche, you automatically imply it is from the Lorraine region." Evelyne’s associate, Laurent Miltgen-Delinchamp had similar thoughts, quipping that, “I think it would have anyway better reflected the British spirit if they had called it a tart.” However, the two don’t intend on taking their particular gripes any further, and were even willing to admit that in France the term “quiche” is already quite misused. “Frankly,” Laurent said, “it shocks me less when Anglo-Saxons do that than when the French do it.” And as The Times reported, Evelyne took pride in knowing that the humble quiche had been elevated to such royal heights - even if it wasn’t exactly the most authentic. “I was surprised when I found out,” she admitted. “I said to myself, ‘this is a banal, common, popular dish, and to think that it is being served at a coronation’.” She went on to note that the first mention of a quiche - on record - dates all the way back to the reign of another Charles III: the 16th century’s Duke of Lorraine. And even then, they were a simpler dish enjoyed by those who weren’t rolling around in wealth, and consisted of whatever ingredients they happened to have around. Quite unlike the <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/food-wine/coronation-quiche-anyone-you-ll-need-to-fork-out-a-38-here-are-cheaper-and-healthier-options">$38 grocery price tag</a> behind Charles’, it seems. Images: Getty

Food & Wine

How to make children do anything you ask

A new book by hypnotherapist and neuro-linguistic programming practitioner Alicia Eaton claims that linguistic strategies used to influence adults can be adapted to create obedient little children. In her book, Words That Work: How To Get Kids To Do Almost Anything, Eaton shows how changing words we use and structuring sentences differently can influence children to do almost anything. Here are five of her top tips. 1. Always say what you DO want children to do, and not what you DON'T “We use negative talk and then we're surprised when our children don't do what we want them to,” Eaton says. Eaton suggests turning the phrases around into a positive to get more effective results. 2. Create the illusion of choice If there is a reluctance to do something than give the child an illusion of choice. Pose questions such as, “Which T-shirt will you be wearing this morning, the blue one or the red?” “This pre-supposes that the child has agreed to get dressed and overcomes the impasse,” she explains. 3. Talk as if it's a given that your child will do what you ask “The word ‘when’ is often referred to as the most hypnotic word in the English language. It gently implies that something will be done in the initial instance,” says Eaton. Use this when speaking to children to give the subtle message that the task needs to be done. For example: “When you've tidied your room, we'll have some lunch”, “When you've finished your maths homework, we'll be able to go out to the park” or “When you've put your uniform on, we can go downstairs for breakfast”. 4. Create a linguistic connection between you and your child According to Eaton, creating a link in the language you use can be a powerful way of getting children to listen. She suggests using phrases like “I, like you, realise you have lots of choices in front of you” or “You, like me, realise how much easier it is to do homework with a tidy desk”. 5. Say “thank you” before, rather than after “We're used to thanking people after they've done something for us, but what about thanking before it's been done?” poses Eaton. “This often works well because children naturally want to please people, especially their parents.” 6. Always give your reasoning Eaton says, “By explaining why we're asking for something, our request is more likely to be granted.” She suggests adding a “because” to every request. If you need help with the shopping, she suggests you try: “Can you help me carry the shopping from the car because there are just too many bags for me to do them in one trip.” 7. Front-load your sentences “Front-loading your sentences with phrases such as 'think about it' and 'listen' sends a powerful suggestion to your child to do just that,” says Eaton. Phrases like, “Think about it. How good will it feel once you've finished your homework?” create an incentive for children to finish their homework. 8. Put a positive spin on moaning Eaton suggests reflection or bouncing back negative statements with a positive spin. For example, if your child complains “I'm too hot”, Eaton suggests bouncing back with something positive like “Ah, you'd like to feel cooler. What would make you feel better – opening a window or removing your jacket?” 9. Use leading questions “Using leading questions is a useful language pattern that can help to take your child from a problem to a desired solution,' explains Eaton. Asking questions that put a positive spin on a problem and at the same time help your children feel part of the solution like: “So, you're telling me about how much you hated this year's maths teacher – so you can begin to look forward to the new one you'll be having when you go back to school?” 10. Help your child stop using the “can't” word “To get your child out of this habit, highlight that things can and do change,” says Eaton. “Your child is changing all the time, which means not being able to do something is merely transient.” When children say things like, “I can’t do maths”, Eaton suggests turning it around into, “Ah, you just haven't yet found a way to do that particular exercise yet”. “The idea is to switch focus to talk about what your child can do rather than what they can't,” Eaton explains. Image: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

In Baz Luhrmann’s “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfplKD46Hs">Elvis</a>,” there’s a scene based on actual conversations that took place between Elvis Presley and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004596/">Steve Binder</a>, the director of <a href="https://www.blogtalkradio.com/feisty-side-of-fifty/2022/04/28/steve-binder-elvis-68-comeback-the-story-behind-the-special">a 1968 NBC television special</a> that signaled the singer’s return to live performing. Binder, an iconoclast unimpressed by Presley’s recent work, had pushed Elvis to reach back into his past to revitalize a career stalled by years of mediocre movies and soundtrack albums. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_I4h_Wm_aY">According to the director</a>, their exchanges left the performer engrossed in <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/08/elvis-presley-comeback-special-1968-50th-anniversary">deep soul-searching</a>. In the trailer to Luhrmann’s biopic, a version of this back-and-forth plays out: Elvis, portrayed by Austin Butler, says to the camera, “I’ve got to get back to who I really am.” Two frames later, Dacre Montgomery, playing Binder, asks, “And who are you, Elvis?” As a <a href="https://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/?id=p072703">scholar of southern history</a> who has written a book about Elvis, I still find myself wondering the same thing. Presley never wrote a memoir. Nor did he keep a diary. Once, when informed of a potential biography in the works, <a href="https://www.proquest.com/magazines/making-presley-biography/docview/2509565622/se-2?accountid=196683">he expressed doubt</a> that there was even a story to tell. Over the years, he had submitted to numerous interviews and press conferences, but the quality of these exchanges was erratic, frequently characterized by superficial answers to even shallower questions. His music could have been a window into his inner life, but since he wasn’t a songwriter, his material depended on the words of others. Even the rare revelatory gems – songs like “If I Can Dream,” “Separate Ways” or “My Way” – didn’t fully penetrate the veil shrouding the man. Binder’s philosophical inquiry, then, was not merely philosophical. Countless fans and scholars have long wanted to know: Who was Elvis, really? <h2>A barometer for the nation</h2> Pinpointing Presley can depend on when and whom you ask. At the dawn of his career, admirers and critics alike branded him the “<a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Elvis_Presley/NqCQo9nqVHYC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22elvis%22+%22bobbie+ann+mason%22&printsec=frontcover">Hillbilly Cat</a>.” Then he became the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a <a href="https://www.historynet.com/rock-n-roll-n-race-a-fresh-look-at-the-keystone-of-the-elvis-presley-legend/">musical monarch</a> that promoters placed on a mythical throne. But for many, he was always the “<a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/mono/10.4324/9780203700648-22/king-white-trash-culture-elvis-presley-aesthetics-excess-annalee-newitz-matt-wray">King of White Trash Culture</a>” – a working-class white southern rags-to-riches story that <a href="https://www.elvis-collectors.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51286&sid=9bb9e7df80f341cfbdcc376d828e8d21">never quite convinced the national establishment</a> of his legitimacy. These overlapping identities capture the provocative fusion of class, race, gender, region and commerce that Elvis embodied. Perhaps the most contentious aspect of his identity was the singer’s relationship to race. As a white artist who profited greatly from the popularization of a style associated with African Americans, Presley, throughout his career, worked under <a href="https://www.southerncultures.org/article/elvis-presley-politics-popular-memory/%20%22%22">the shadow and suspicion of racial appropriation</a>. The connection was complicated and fluid, to be sure. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/05/25/elvis-presley-rock-and-roll-graceland/%20%22%22">Quincy Jones</a> met and worked with Presley in early 1956 as the musical director of CBS-TV’s “Stage Show.” In his 2002 <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Q/zs1ixtkcJU8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22quincy+jones%22+%22memoir%22+%22elvis%22&printsec=frontcover">autobiography</a>, Jones noted that Elvis should be listed with Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson as pop music’s greatest innovators. However, by 2021, in the midst of a changing racial climate, <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/quincy-jones-michael-jackson-elvis-presley-1234955138/">Jones was dismissing Presley as an unabashed racist</a>. Elvis seems to serve as a barometer measuring America’s various tensions, with the gauge less about Presley and more about the nation’s pulse at any given moment. <h2>You are what you consume</h2> But I think there’s another way to think about Elvis – one that might put into context many of the questions surrounding him. <a href="https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/fellows-book/a-troubled-feast-american-society-since-1945/">Historian William Leuchtenburg</a> once characterized Presley as a “consumer culture hero,” a manufactured commodity more image than substance. The assessment was negative; it also was incomplete. It didn’t consider how a consumerist disposition may have shaped Elvis prior to his becoming an entertainer. Presley reached adolescence as a post-World War II consumer economy was hitting its stride. A product of unprecedented affluence and pent-up demand caused by depression and wartime sacrifice, it provided almost <a href="https://americanhistory.si.edu/highlights-guide-consumer">unlimited opportunities for those seeking to entertain and define themselves</a>. The teenager from Memphis, Tennessee, took advantage of these opportunities. Riffing off the idiom “you are what you eat,” Elvis became what <a href="https://kennedy.byu.edu/you-are-what-you-eat/">he consumed</a>. During his formative years, he shopped at <a href="https://lanskybros.com/">Lansky Brothers</a>, a clothier on Beale Street that outfitted African American performers and provided him with secondhand pink-and-black ensembles. He tuned into the radio station <a href="https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/wdia-radio-station-1947/">WDIA</a>, where he soaked up gospel and rhythm and blues tunes, along with the vernacular of black disk jockeys. He turned the dial to WHBQ’s “Red, Hot, and Blue,” a program that had <a href="https://memphismusichalloffame.com/inductee/deweyphillips/">Dewey Phillips</a> spinning an eclectic mix of R&B, pop and country. He visited <a href="https://www.poplartunes.com/">Poplar Tunes</a> and <a href="http://thedeltareview.com/album-reviews/the-young-willie-mitchell-and-ruben-cherrys-home-of-the-blues-records/">Home of the Blues</a> record stores, where he purchased the music dancing in his head. And at the <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/4183">Loew’s State</a> and <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/14070">Suzore #2</a> movie theaters, he took in the latest Marlon Brando or Tony Curtis movies, imagining in the dark how to emulate their demeanor, sideburns, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ducktail">ducktails</a>. In short, he gleaned from the nation’s burgeoning consumer culture the persona that the world would come to know. Elvis alluded to this in 1971 when he provided a rare glimpse into his psyche upon receiving a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HWlYoR40A%20%22%22">Jaycees Award</a> as one of the nation’s Ten Outstanding Young Men “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times … I’d like to say that I learned very early in life that ‘without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend. Without a song.’ So, I’ll keep singing a song.” In that acceptance speech, he quoted “<a href="https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.200215452/">Without a Song</a>,” a standard tune performed by artists including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and Roy Hamilton – seamlessly presenting the lyrics as if they were words directly applicable to his own life experiences. <h2>A loaded question</h2> Does this make the Jaycees recipient some sort of “odd, lonely child reaching for eternity,” as Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks, tells an adult Presley in the new “Elvis” film? I don’t think so. Instead, I see him as someone who simply devoted his life to consumption, a not uncommon late 20th-century behavior. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2002/dec/19/highereducation.uk2">Scholars have noted that</a> whereas Americans once defined themselves through their genealogy, jobs, or faith, they increasingly started to identify themselves through their tastes – and, by proxy, what they consumed. As <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-the-self-and-i/201904/how-do-we-form-identities-in-consumer-society">Elvis crafted his identity</a> and pursued his craft, he did the same. It also was evident in how he spent most of his downtime. A tireless worker on stage and in the recording studio, those settings nevertheless demanded relatively little of his time. For most of the 1960s, he made three movies annually, each taking no more than a month to complete. That was the extent of <a href="https://theconversation.com/elvis-presley-was-paid-a-kings-ransom-for-sub-par-movies-because-they-were-marketing-gold-81586">his professional obligations</a>. From 1969 to his death in 1977, only 797 out of 2,936 days were devoted to performing <a href="https://www.concertarchives.org/bands/elvis-presley">concerts</a> or recording in the <a href="https://blackgold.org/GroupedWork/d29f6423-5784-ccf6-6ca1-cff37b9081e9-eng/Home">studio</a>. Most of his time was dedicated to vacationing, playing sports, riding motorcycles, zipping around on go-karts, horseback riding, watching TV and eating. By the time he died, Elvis was a shell of his former self. Overweight, bored, and chemically dependent, he appeared <a href="https://www.salon.com/2018/04/07/elvis-in-his-prime-was-america-now-america-is-elvis-in-decline/">spent</a>. A few weeks before his demise, a Soviet publication <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1977/07/29/archives/notes-on-people.html">described him</a> as “wrecked” – a “pitilessly” dumped product victimized by the American consumerist system. Elvis Presley proved that consumerism, when channeled productively, could be creative and liberating. He likewise demonstrated that left unrestrained, it could be empty and destructive. Luhrmann’s movie promises to reveal a great deal about one of the most captivating and enigmatic figures of our time. But I have a hunch it will also tell Americans a lot about themselves. “Who are you, Elvis?” the trailer hauntingly probes. Maybe the answer is easier than we think. He’s all of us. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared in <a href="https://theconversation.com/was-there-anything-real-about-elvis-presley-184902" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Music

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

In Baz Luhrmann’s “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfplKD46Hs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elvis</a>,” there’s a scene based on actual conversations that took place between Elvis Presley and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004596/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Steve Binder</a>, the director of <a href="https://www.blogtalkradio.com/feisty-side-of-fifty/2022/04/28/steve-binder-elvis-68-comeback-the-story-behind-the-special" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a 1968 NBC television special</a> that signaled the singer’s return to live performing. Binder, an iconoclast unimpressed by Presley’s recent work, had pushed Elvis to reach back into his past to revitalize a career stalled by years of mediocre movies and soundtrack albums. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_I4h_Wm_aY" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to the director</a>, their exchanges left the performer engrossed in <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/08/elvis-presley-comeback-special-1968-50th-anniversary" target="_blank" rel="noopener">deep soul-searching</a>. In the trailer to Luhrmann’s biopic, a version of this back-and-forth plays out: Elvis, portrayed by Austin Butler, says to the camera, “I’ve got to get back to who I really am.” Two frames later, Dacre Montgomery, playing Binder, asks, “And who are you, Elvis?” As a <a href="https://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/?id=p072703" target="_blank" rel="noopener">scholar of southern history</a> who has written a book about Elvis, I still find myself wondering the same thing. Presley never wrote a memoir. Nor did he keep a diary. Once, when informed of a potential biography in the works, <a href="https://www.proquest.com/magazines/making-presley-biography/docview/2509565622/se-2?accountid=196683" target="_blank" rel="noopener">he expressed doubt</a> that there was even a story to tell. Over the years, he had submitted to numerous interviews and press conferences, but the quality of these exchanges was erratic, frequently characterized by superficial answers to even shallower questions. His music could have been a window into his inner life, but since he wasn’t a songwriter, his material depended on the words of others. Even the rare revelatory gems – songs like “If I Can Dream,” “Separate Ways” or “My Way” – didn’t fully penetrate the veil shrouding the man. Binder’s philosophical inquiry, then, was not merely philosophical. Countless fans and scholars have long wanted to know: Who was Elvis, really? <h2>A barometer for the nation</h2> Pinpointing Presley can depend on when and whom you ask. At the dawn of his career, admirers and critics alike branded him the “<a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Elvis_Presley/NqCQo9nqVHYC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22elvis%22+%22bobbie+ann+mason%22&printsec=frontcover" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Hillbilly Cat</a>.” Then he became the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a <a href="https://www.historynet.com/rock-n-roll-n-race-a-fresh-look-at-the-keystone-of-the-elvis-presley-legend/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">musical monarch</a> that promoters placed on a mythical throne. But for many, he was always the “<a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/mono/10.4324/9780203700648-22/king-white-trash-culture-elvis-presley-aesthetics-excess-annalee-newitz-matt-wray" target="_blank" rel="noopener">King of White Trash Culture</a>” – a working-class white southern rags-to-riches story that <a href="https://www.elvis-collectors.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51286&sid=9bb9e7df80f341cfbdcc376d828e8d21" target="_blank" rel="noopener">never quite convinced the national establishment</a> of his legitimacy. These overlapping identities capture the provocative fusion of class, race, gender, region and commerce that Elvis embodied. Perhaps the most contentious aspect of his identity was the singer’s relationship to race. As a white artist who profited greatly from the popularization of a style associated with African Americans, Presley, throughout his career, worked under <a href="https://www.southerncultures.org/article/elvis-presley-politics-popular-memory/%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the shadow and suspicion of racial appropriation</a>. The connection was complicated and fluid, to be sure. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/05/25/elvis-presley-rock-and-roll-graceland/%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Quincy Jones</a> met and worked with Presley in early 1956 as the musical director of CBS-TV’s “Stage Show.” In his 2002 <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Q/zs1ixtkcJU8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22quincy+jones%22+%22memoir%22+%22elvis%22&printsec=frontcover" target="_blank" rel="noopener">autobiography</a>, Jones noted that Elvis should be listed with Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson as pop music’s greatest innovators. However, by 2021, in the midst of a changing racial climate, <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/quincy-jones-michael-jackson-elvis-presley-1234955138/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jones was dismissing Presley as an unabashed racist</a>. Elvis seems to serve as a barometer measuring America’s various tensions, with the gauge less about Presley and more about the nation’s pulse at any given moment. <h2>You are what you consume</h2> But I think there’s another way to think about Elvis – one that might put into context many of the questions surrounding him. <a href="https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/fellows-book/a-troubled-feast-american-society-since-1945/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Historian William Leuchtenburg</a> once characterized Presley as a “consumer culture hero,” a manufactured commodity more image than substance. The assessment was negative; it also was incomplete. It didn’t consider how a consumerist disposition may have shaped Elvis prior to his becoming an entertainer. Presley reached adolescence as a post-World War II consumer economy was hitting its stride. A product of unprecedented affluence and pent-up demand caused by depression and wartime sacrifice, it provided almost <a href="https://americanhistory.si.edu/highlights-guide-consumer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">unlimited opportunities for those seeking to entertain and define themselves</a>. The teenager from Memphis, Tennessee, took advantage of these opportunities. Riffing off the idiom “you are what you eat,” Elvis became what <a href="https://kennedy.byu.edu/you-are-what-you-eat/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">he consumed</a>. During his formative years, he shopped at <a href="https://lanskybros.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Lansky Brothers</a>, a clothier on Beale Street that outfitted African American performers and provided him with secondhand pink-and-black ensembles. He tuned into the radio station <a href="https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/wdia-radio-station-1947/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WDIA</a>, where he soaked up gospel and rhythm and blues tunes, along with the vernacular of black disk jockeys. He turned the dial to WHBQ’s “Red, Hot, and Blue,” a program that had <a href="https://memphismusichalloffame.com/inductee/deweyphillips/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dewey Phillips</a> spinning an eclectic mix of R&B, pop and country. He visited <a href="https://www.poplartunes.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Poplar Tunes</a> and <a href="http://thedeltareview.com/album-reviews/the-young-willie-mitchell-and-ruben-cherrys-home-of-the-blues-records/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Home of the Blues</a> record stores, where he purchased the music dancing in his head. And at the <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/4183" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Loew’s State</a> and <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/14070" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Suzore #2</a> movie theaters, he took in the latest Marlon Brando or Tony Curtis movies, imagining in the dark how to emulate their demeanor, sideburns, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ducktail" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ducktails</a>. In short, he gleaned from the nation’s burgeoning consumer culture the persona that the world would come to know. Elvis alluded to this in 1971 when he provided a rare glimpse into his psyche upon receiving a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HWlYoR40A%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jaycees Award</a> as one of the nation’s Ten Outstanding Young Men: <blockquote> “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times … I’d like to say that I learned very early in life that ‘without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend. Without a song.’ So, I’ll keep singing a song.” </blockquote> In that acceptance speech, he quoted “<a href="https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.200215452/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Without a Song</a>,” a standard tune performed by artists including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and Roy Hamilton – seamlessly presenting the lyrics as if they were words directly applicable to his own life experiences. <h2>A loaded question</h2> Does this make the Jaycees recipient some sort of “odd, lonely child reaching for eternity,” as Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks, tells an adult Presley in the new “Elvis” film? I don’t think so. Instead, I see him as someone who simply devoted his life to consumption, a not uncommon late 20th-century behavior. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2002/dec/19/highereducation.uk2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Scholars have noted that</a> whereas Americans once defined themselves through their genealogy, jobs, or faith, they increasingly started to identify themselves through their tastes – and, by proxy, what they consumed. As <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-the-self-and-i/201904/how-do-we-form-identities-in-consumer-society" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elvis crafted his identity</a> and pursued his craft, he did the same. It also was evident in how he spent most of his downtime. A tireless worker on stage and in the recording studio, those settings nevertheless demanded relatively little of his time. For most of the 1960s, he made three movies annually, each taking no more than a month to complete. That was the extent of <a href="https://theconversation.com/elvis-presley-was-paid-a-kings-ransom-for-sub-par-movies-because-they-were-marketing-gold-81586" target="_blank" rel="noopener">his professional obligations</a>. From 1969 to his death in 1977, only 797 out of 2,936 days were devoted to performing <a href="https://www.concertarchives.org/bands/elvis-presley" target="_blank" rel="noopener">concerts</a> or recording in the <a href="https://blackgold.org/GroupedWork/d29f6423-5784-ccf6-6ca1-cff37b9081e9-eng/Home" target="_blank" rel="noopener">studio</a>. Most of his time was dedicated to vacationing, playing sports, riding motorcycles, zipping around on go-karts, horseback riding, watching TV and eating. By the time he died, Elvis was a shell of his former self. Overweight, bored, and chemically dependent, he appeared <a href="https://www.salon.com/2018/04/07/elvis-in-his-prime-was-america-now-america-is-elvis-in-decline/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">spent</a>. A few weeks before his demise, a Soviet publication <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1977/07/29/archives/notes-on-people.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">described him</a> as “wrecked” – a “pitilessly” dumped product victimized by the American consumerist system. Elvis Presley proved that consumerism, when channeled productively, could be creative and liberating. He likewise demonstrated that left unrestrained, it could be empty and destructive. Luhrmann’s movie promises to reveal a great deal about one of the most captivating and enigmatic figures of our time. But I have a hunch it will also tell Americans a lot about themselves. “Who are you, Elvis?” the trailer hauntingly probes. Maybe the answer is easier than we think. He’s all of us. This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/was-there-anything-real-about-elvis-presley-184902" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. Image: Getty

Movies

Readers respond: Is there anything you regret not asking your parents?

We asked our readers whether there was anything they regretted not asking their parents, and the response was overwhelming. From family histories to stories from their own lives, here’s what you wished you’d asked. Maureen Collins - I wish I had of listened to her stories. Dorathy Helen Dawes - I regret not asking my father questions about family stories and history while he lived. Thankfully, I did get to ask my mother for her family stories. Roman Frackiewicz - My dad's POW experience, the DP camp experiences before emigration, his family, the political environment in pre WWII Poland from his perspective, his life. Margaret Inglis - I wish I'd taken more notice of things they had said/told me as I was growing up. I am referring to family history etc. I have copies of birth certificates etc as my father had looked into some genealogy, but this was before the internet. He often spoke about his family background, I also have his diaries from the early '30s, so I have some knowledge. Yvone Osborn - So many things - When we're young life tends to get in the way, and then it's too late when we think of things we'd really like to know answers to! Jacqueline Evans - Yes, I lost my Mum earlier this year and everyday, something comes to mind. Along with daily things, I think “Oh I must tell/ask Mum this”. Margaret Leonard - Where do I start, it's not till they have gone, that you needed to know that question or thing and it's too late then. Lyn Miner - Yes, I would ask my mum everything she could think about her father. I don't think I will ever know who he really was. Image: Getty Images

Caring

"It had no bearing on anything": Martin Bashir responds to Princess Di accusations

Veteran journalist Martin Bashir has said he "never wanted to harm" Diana, Princess of Wales, with his now disgraced BBC Panorama interview, telling the Sunday Times newspaper, "I don't believe we did." In the 1995 world exclusive interview, Princess Diana confirmed Prince Charles' relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles and described in frank detail how she believed royal life had made her bulimic. An independent investigation published 25 years later by the BBC and led by retired judge Lord Dyson called the tactics Bashir used to secure the sit-down "deceitful". The report revealed the then-32-year-old journalist forged documents to suggest Palace staff were being paid to spy on the princess. Bashir then allegedly presented those documents to Diana's brother, Earl Charles Spencer, who then introduced him to Diana. The report also found an internal BBC inquiry in 1996 covered up Bashir's malpractice. Bashir left his role at the BBC earlier this month citing health reasons before the findings were released Thursday. Speaking to the Sunday Times, he said him and Diana "were friends" and continued to be close after the interview was broadcast, with the princess even paying a visit to his wife at the hospital shortly after the birth of their third child. “We loved her. That’s what we wanted to protect, and that’s why I have never taken money, never said anything, never written anything,” he said. “Everything we did in terms of the interview was as she wanted, from when she wanted to alert the palace, to when it was broadcast, to its contents ... My family and I loved her.” In the Sunday Times interview, Bashir expressed his sorrow over showing the fake bank statements to the princess’ brother, but insisted I didn’t harm the princess. “Obviously I regret it, it was wrong. But it had no bearing on anything. It had no bearing on (Diana), it had no bearing on the interview,” he said.

News

“Anything but a fairy tale”: Duchess Meghan wants to set the record straight about life in the royal family

The Duchess of Sussex wants the biography on her and Prince Harry’s life to be released sooner rather than later because she hopes the book would clear the air on why the couple chose to leave the royal family. According to an insider, the upcoming book titled Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family by journalists Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand is expected to be released around the world online on August 11, with the hard copy on sale from August 20. But Meghan seemingly wants an earlier release date, with a friend explaining: “If Meghan had it her way, the book would be released tomorrow instead of three months from now. “She said the book will finally set the record straight and show the world why they were left with no other choice than to leave the royal life.” Meghan wants readers to understand that despite joining the royal family, her life hasn’t been a fairy tale like many assume. She also wants people to see “the genuine person that she is” and hopes to “shatter this image of being a demanding diva,” added the insider. Meghan and Harry sent shockwaves throughout the world in January when they announced their departure from the royal family, and instead, chose to become financially independent, splitting their time between the United Kingdom and North America. While the pair have wealthy friends and a high-flying lifestyle, the insider revealed that Meghan “desperately wants to shatter this image of being a demanding diva who was rude to royal staffers and others on her quest for fame and power. “She said the book will help give her and Harry a clean slate. Meghan seems to think the readers will finally understand the monumental anguish and turmoil she had to endure with a stiff upper lip. “Meghan said people need to see her vulnerable side, something the book does in great detail.” Her friend added: “I think [Meghan] wants people to feel sorry for her, or at least have compassion for her and all she’s been through, which has been anything but a fairy tale.”

Beauty & Style

12 proven steps to truly forgive anyone for anything

Robert Enright, PhD, is a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness. Here, he breaks down his four-phase model that has helped countless patients overcome anxiety, depression and resentment, by allowing them to truly forgive. Know that forgiveness is available to everyone Everyone has someone who’s wronged them in one way or another – be it a parent who neglected them growing up, a spouse who cheated on them in a rocky relationship, or even a person who stood them up on a set of plans. Not all these injustices result in long-lasting internal disruption – which can be identified by symptoms like fatigue, disruption in sleep, anxiety, depression and other forms of unhealthy anger. But when they do, it’s important to know that forgiveness is an option. “When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that, so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way,” says Enright. What’s more, you don’t need a mental health professional to teach you how to forgive. It’s something you can achieve on your own, as long as you know which steps to take. Decide you want to choose forgiveness The first step toward achieving forgiveness is deciding it’s something you actually want to do, not something someone has pressured you into trying. “People should not be forced into forgiving,” says Enright. “I think it’s important that people are drawn to it.” Enright also stresses that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing or forgetting an injustice, or returning to a relationship that’s harmful. “Some people misconstrue forgiveness and say, well, if I forgive then I can’t seek fairness,” he says. “That’s one of the big criticisms of forgiveness, which is not true.” Make a list Start the process of forgiveness with this preliminary step: Make a list of all the people who have hurt you, no matter how small or large, going back to childhood. Next, order the names from the lowest level of injustice and anger to the highest. You’ll start the process of forgiveness with someone toward the bottom of the list. “Starting with the highest person on the list would be like asking someone who’s not physically fit to run a marathon,” says Enright. “Go through the process first with someone who is still bothering you, and it’s not pleasant, but it’s also not crushing. As you repeat the process moving higher and higher up the list, you’ll become more forgivingly fit, and better able to face those people who have truly hurt you.” Uncover your anger This is the official start to phase one of Enright’s forgiveness model, and it’s crucial in reinforcing the importance of forgiveness. “It’s kind of a checklist,” says Enright. “How are you doing in terms of your anger? How have you been denying it? Are you angrier that you thought you were? What are the physical consequences of your anger?” Fatigue is the most common physical complaint Enright hears, as is a pessimistic worldview – believing no one can be trusted or that everyone is only out for themselves. “Once you look at those effects, the question becomes, Do you want to heal?” says Enright. “Which leads us into phase two: deciding to forgive.” Commit to forgiveness Phase two is all about revisiting the definition of forgiveness and committing to it. That definition, more or less, is being good to those who weren’t good to you. “Once people have completed phase one and seen how the effects of their anger have made them unhappy, there’s a tendency to give this a try,” says Enright. In this phase, it’s also important to commit to doing no harm toward the person you’re trying to forgive. “That doesn’t mean be good to them,” says Enright. “It just means don’t do anything negative.” Consider the other person’s wounds This step starts the “work” phase of the forgiveness model. The goal is to ultimately feel compassion for the other person, but don’t start there. Instead, think about them in a new way. How was that person hurt in life? How were they treated unjustly? Are they so wounded that they wounded you? “We don’t do this to excuse their actions, but to see a vulnerable person, a scared person, maybe a confused person. Someone who is not infallible and all-powerful,” says Enright. Consider the other person’s humanity Now that you’ve assessed the person’s woundedness, consider how you share a common humanity. “You were both born, you will both die, you both bleed when you’re cut, you both have unique DNA and when you die there will never be another person like you,” says Enright. “And given the humanity, you share with this person, is it possible that they might be just as special, unique and irreplaceable as you are?” Feel a softening It could take weeks or even months, but you should begin to feel a change of heart. “When the person’s feelings start to change, that’s the beginning of the unhealthy anger starting to leave,” says Enright. “It’s a tiny glimmering of compassion.” Bear the pain Once you’ve begun to feel a softening, the next step is to accept the pain. “We don’t ask people to get rid of the pain,” says Enright, “but to stand with the pain.” That means not passing your pain onto others, in many cases offspring. “It builds self-esteem because you’re saying, ‘If I can see the humanity in the one who didn’t see the humanity in me, and if I can soften my heart to the one who didn’t to me, then who am I as a person? I’m stronger than I thought.’” Give the person a gift No, we don’t mean you have to buy them a set of candles. But Enright does encourage doing something good to the one who hurt you in some creative way or another. “If the person is a danger to you, you don’t have to let them know you’re doing this,” he says. “You can donate some money to a charity in their name, send an email that hasn’t been sent in a year, or if you have direct contact, give them a smile or a kind word.” Doing so doesn’t mean you must interact with the person or reconcile, just that you’re willing to do something good to the one who hurt you. Begin the discovery phase This is the fourth and final phase of the forgiveness model. During it, you’ll find meaning in what you’ve suffered. “Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see that people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.” And once you’ve got that worldview, you can begin to thrive in life again. Repeat, repeat, repeat Since you likely didn’t start this process with the person who’s hurt you most, you’ll have to repeat the pathway on each person you’re hoping to forgive. Enright suggests keeping a journal or enlisting a trusted friend or family member to keep you on the path. It helps to set aside around 15 minutes a few times a week to work on the process, but it’s all about quality over quantity. Written by Juliana LaBianca. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/12-proven-steps-to-truly-forgive-anyone-for-anything">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a rel="noopener" href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V" target="_blank">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

Relationships

"Beyond anything you can imagine": The brutal truth of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster

The launch of HBO miniseries Chernobyl has once again brought attention to the world’s worst nuclear disaster. Discussions have emerged as to whether the five-part show provided a realistic depiction of the catastrophe. While some details in the story have been contested, most experts and survivors agree that the portrayal of the radiation effects is true to life. Oleksiy Breus was an engineer at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in the then-Soviet Union. Following the 1986 explosion at the fourth reactor, he took part in a dangerous operation to drain water from under the power station to prevent further explosion. The 59-year-old told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-48580177" target="_blank">BBC</a> that the physical impacts of acute radiation syndrome (ARS) were shown well in the series through the character of firefighter Vasily Ignatenko. Breus said he met with shift leader Oleksandr Akimov and operator Leonid Toptunov – both of whom were featured prominently on the show – hours after the incident. “They were not looking good, to put it mildly,” he said. “It was clear they felt sick. They were very pale. Toptunov had literally turned white.” Akimov and Toptunov died two weeks later from ARS. Breus said his other colleagues who worked at the ill-fated night died in hospital after their skin turned to “a bright red colour”. He said, “Radiation exposure, red skin, radiation burns and steam burns were what many people talked about but it was never shown like this. When I finished my shift, my skin was brown, as if I had a proper suntan all over my body. My body parts not covered by clothes – such as hands, face and neck – were red.” This was in line with the testimony from Lyudmilla Ignatenko, wife of the fallen firefighter. In the book <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2005/apr/25/energy.ukraine" target="_blank">Voices from Chernobyl</a> by Russian journalist Svetlana Alexievich, Lyudmilla said she witnessed her husband’s condition exacerbate as he began experiencing serious diarrhea, hair loss and skin cracking and discolouring. She recalled, “I tell the nurse: ‘He’s dying’. And she says to me: ‘What did you expect? He got 1,600 roentgen. Four hundred is a lethal dose. You're sitting next to a nuclear reactor’.” Archaeologist and Chernobyl expert Robert Maxwell also vouched for the show’s accuracy in showing how nuclear radiation affects the human body. “The skin of the tongue sloughs off; the skin of the body turns black and peels way upon touch... eyes blister. The colon is covered in third degree burns,” Maxwell told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/chernobyl-radiation-poisoning/?utm_source=Mamamia.com.au%20-%20All%20Newsletters&utm_campaign=e78d678868-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_17_06_53&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_9dc62997a2-e78d678868-211561537&mc_cid=e78d678868&mc_eid=c10f87c072" target="_blank">Mamamia</a>. “Their depiction of ARS and its treatment during the Soviet 1980s is highly accurate.” The show’s creator Craig Mazin said he and his team took great care to show “total respect” to Vasily and his family in the series. “We had to be really careful in episode three when we showed the final stage of Vasily Ignatenko's body,” Mazin told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/chernobyl-finale-explained-creator-craig-mazin-interview-1215670" target="_blank">The Hollywood Reporter</a>. “It was the most extreme thing that we showed, and our makeup and prosthetic designer Daniel Parker did a brilliant job — so brilliant, in fact, that there was a concern that we lingered on it a bit. “We shortened that shot by quite a bit, because the last thing we wanted was to feel like we were trading on this man's sad fate for sensationalist points on a TV show. What we wanted was for people to see the truth of what happens… “Those were the things we were dealing with all the time, because that man was a real person, and his wife is still alive, and the last thing we want to do is show anything other than total respect.” 134 people were <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18049222" target="_blank">diagnosed with ARS</a> in the aftermath of the explosion. 28 of them died within months. The number of people affected by the disaster remains disputed, with many suspecting that the radiation may be the reason behind other health problems such as cancer and birth defects.

Body

How to survive anything

1. How to Survive… A Plane Crash The smallest bump feels like an earthquake at 35,000 feet. But plane crash fatalities are low despite high-profile media coverage – and with a few precautions, you can make them a little lower. – Forget first class A Popular Mechanics study of 20 commercial jet crashes with both fatalities and survivors found that passengers seated in the rear cabin (behind the wings) had a 69 per cent chance of survival, compared with just 49 per cent for those in first class. If you fear flying, it’s worth giving up the legroom for peace of mind in the rear cabin. – Brace yourself In a 2015 crash simulation, Boeing found that passengers who both wore their seat belts and assumed a brace position (feet flat, head cradled against their knees or the seat in front of them if possible) were likeliest to survive. Seat-belted fliers who did not brace suffered serious head injuries, and those with no seat belts who also didn’t brace died on impact. – Don’t dally with the mask During a loss of cabin pressure, the drop in oxygen can knock you unconscious in as little as 20 seconds. Listen to the safety advice of your flight attendants: always secure your oxygen mask before helping others. You can’t help if you can’t breathe. 2. How to Survive… Being Stranded in the Wilderness As longtime editor of many RD survival stories, Beth Dreher learned a lot about how to stay alive in dire circumstances. Here, she gives us her most important how-tos. – Find water As the subjects of my stories know too well, you can last only about four days without water. To ward off dehydration, search for animals, birds (especially songbirds), insects (especially honeybees) and green vegetation, all of which can indicate that water is nearby. Rock crevices may also hold small caches of rainwater. – Find food You can survive up to three weeks without food, but a growling stomach will set in much sooner. These items are reliably edible: grass, typha (often called cattails or bulrushes), acorns and pine needles. And if forced to eat berries, this rhyme could save your life: “White and yellow, kill a fellow. Purple and blue, good for you.” – Brave an animal ambush We’ve all read about bear and shark attacks. But what about other outdoor aggressors? Regardless of species, your best bet is to stand your ground; running can often trigger an animal’s chase mentality, and unless you’re trying to avoid a snake, you’ll likely not run fast enough. – Signal a rescuer The subjects of many of my stories are able to attract the attention of rescuers using a reflection or a signal fire or by making a lot of noise. To increase your chances of being discovered, go to an open area on a hilltop, then use a mirror, CD, belt buckle or water bottle to reflect light towards the pilot of a plane or a helicopter overhead. To create white smoke, which is easy for rescuers to see, add green vegetation to your fire. – Splint a broken bone The people in the stories I read climb cliffs in remote areas, survive plane crashes, fall hundreds of metres without a parachute – and often break bones. One key to their survival? A splint, which can help reduce pain, prevent further damage and allow you to move to a safer place. Basic rule of splinting: if you break a bone, immobilise the joints above and below it; if your joint is injured, immobilise the bones above and below it. Either way, first pad the injury with something soft like a shirt or socks; next, lay out something hard, like a tent pole or a sturdy stick, that extends past either side of the injury; finally, tie it all in place with duct tape, strips of clothing or a padded rope from your camping gear. Don’t tie it so tightly that you lose circulation. One injury is enough. 3. How to Survive… A Terrorist Attack Following the Paris attacks of November 2015, the BBC surveyed survival experts and came away with some confidence-building advice. – Get in the habit of casing the room In the attack on the Bataclan concert hall, a security guard led a group of people to safety through a fire exit left of the stage. But there won’t always be a guard to help. Make a point of identifying emergency exits for yourself. – Make yourself smaller “Where there’s cover from sight, there’s cover from gunfire,” advises Ian Reed, a British military instructor and chief executive of the Formative Group security firm. Hard cover such as a concrete wall is the best option. If there’s no cover available, play dead. – ‘Run, hide, tell’ In its report on ‘dynamic lockdowns’, the UK government’s advice is to run if there is a safe route out. If you can’t run, hide. If you escape, immediately tell an official what’s happening. Separate from gathering crowds; always assume there’s going to be a secondary action. – Be a team player It’s the most efficient way for a group to evacuate and avoid jams. Social psychologist Chris Cocking says most people are likely to try to help one another even in extreme situations – such as the group of people who cooperated to escape the Bataclan via a skylight. 4. How to Survive… The Doctor’s Needle If you are among the roughly ten per cent of people who fear a loaded syringe, heed these tips: – Fess up Tell your doctor how needles make you feel; she might have you lie down to avert wooziness. – Visit your happy place Close your eyes, breathe deeply and listen to your favourite song on noise-cancelling headphones. – Chew the fear away A piece of gum or sweet treat provides a distraction from the doc. – Skip the coffee Caffeine can make you anxious for up to six hours before your procedure. – Request a security blanket According to dentist Mark Burhenne, wearing a weighted blanket like the ones used during X-rays can make you feel safer in the chair. 5. How to Survive… A Lay-off The best thing you can do with your time (besides look for a new job, of course): get moving! According to a happiness study from Canada’s University of Alberta, physical activity increases life satisfaction three times as much as being unemployed reduces it. 6. How to Survive… A Divorce “Divorce is always good news, because no good marriage has ever ended in one,” says comedian Louis C.K. This hard truth may not make the emotional process any easier to deal with – but these three actions might. – Write the pain away Relief can be as simple as free-writing for 20 minutes a day, four days in a row, says James W. Pennebaker, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas. “Across multiple studies, people who engage in expressive writing report feeling happier and less negative than they felt before,” he writes in his book, Expressive Writing: Words That Heal. Per one study, “those who kept their traumas secret went to physicians almost 40 per cent more often than those who openly talked about them.” – See it through your kids’ eyes In 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow popularised conscious uncoupling as a byword for a positive, amicable divorce. As doctors Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami subsequently wrote on Paltrow’s website, “Children are imitators by nature … If we are to raise a more civilised generation, we must model those behaviours during the good and bad times in our relationships.” – Launch a project (or a rocket) Like the jilted New Zealand woman who launched her wedding ring into space on a homemade rocket, or the blogger who got a book deal from devising ‘101 uses for my ex-wife’s wedding dress’, you, too, can channel hard feelings into hard work. 7. How to Survive… An Earworm It takes only one passing toddler to get ‘It’s a Small World (After All)’ stuck in your head and a whole teeth-gnashing day to get it out. There is a better way to cure what scientists call involuntary musical imagery (aka, the common earworm). In fact, there are two ways: – Option one – embrace it. Listen to the song all the way through, at full volume, ideally singing along. The idea is that by confronting your brain with the full version, your earworm will end when the song does. – Option two – replace it. Play a different song all the way through, at full volume, in an attempt to chase away your earworm with something more forgettable. In one UK study, the most popular ‘cure’ song was the national anthem, ‘God Save the Queen’. Try humming your own national anthem and see if it has the same magical, restorative properties. 8. How to Survive… An Awkward Conversation Somehow you’re sitting next to the only person at the party you’ve never met, and the mood is definitely uneasy. How do you draw them out? – Open with a compliment The other person will feel a wave of positive feelings, and you will be more likely to remember them later as the person with the ‘nice hat’. A win–win encounter. – Listen like a hostage negotiator A common creed of hostage negotiators is ‘talk to me’ – because they’re taught to spend 80 per cent of their time listening and only 20 per cent speaking. Draw your subject out by talking about what they want to talk about, nodding and asking follow-up questions along the way. The more you make your subject feel understood, the more they will enjoy the conversation. – Have an escape plan The phrases ‘I won’t keep you’ and ‘Give my regards to [mutual acquaintance]’ are your allies. When the conversation reaches a dead end, employ them. 9. How to Survive… An Ice Cream Headache A ‘brain freeze’ occurs when nerves in the roof of your mouth tell your brain that it’s too cold; the brain, drama queen that it is, overcompensates by rushing warm blood into your head. How can you tell your big mouth to shut up? – Thaw the freeze Replace the cold stimulus with a warm one by filling your mouth with room-temperature water or pressing your tongue against the afflicted area. – The key to prevention? Eat slower. As one Canadian doctor found in a study of 145 students from his daughter’s school, kids who gulped down a bowl of ice cream in five seconds or fewer were twice as likely to feel brain freeze as those who took their time. 10. How to Survive… A Sunburn Remember this: when you’re as red as a beet, make yourself a salad. Freshly cut cucumber cools and soothes the skin, as does the starch from a grated potato or a spritz of apple cider vinegar. Your skin needs vitamins A and D to heal quickly – augment your produce regimen with lots of milk, and find a cool place to veg out. Written by Brandon Specktor. This article first appeared in <a href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/tips/11-Things-to-Never-Say-to-Someone-With-Chronic-Pain">Reader’s Digest.</a> For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V">Here’s our subscription offer.</a> <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

Caring

Amazing trick to remove gum from anything

It is so frustrating when you find that you’ve stepped in gum, trodden it through the house, or (worse) got it stuck in your hair. Instead of reaching for the scissors, try this simple trick first. Head to the freezer and pull out some ice cubes. That’s right – ice will freeze the gum and then allow you to remove it. Clothing Place the item into a bucket or sink and cover with ice. Leave for around half an hour until the gum is hard and then crack it off with a knife. Spray with stain remover and wash as normal. Carpet Simple place a pile of ice cubes onto the area and leave it until the gum goes hard. Yes you will end up with damp carpet, but that’s better than having to cut a hole in the carpet right? Then just go ahead and use the knife to crack the gum and remove it. Now use your regular carpet cleaner to remove any sticky residue. Hair Take the section of gummy hair and wrap it up with a handful of ice cubes together in a tea towel. Secure with a hair elastic and leave the ice to work its magic on the gum. Once hard it should be easy to crack it with your fingers and take it out. Give hair a good wash and condition well to get rid of any stickiness. Shoes If you would rather your shoes don’t get wet, simply place some ice in a bucket or the laundry tub and place the soles of your shoes on top to harden the gum. Have you ever had a gum situation that you’ve used this trick to get out of? We would love to hear from you in the comments.

Home & Garden

15 cats that prove anything can be a bed

There’s a classic (well, six or so years old, at least!) saying on the internet – “If it fits, I sits.” And if you’ve ever owned a cat before, you’ll know exactly what we’re talking about. From boxes to vases and everything in between, it seems if your feline friend can fit in there, it most certainly will – or get stuck trying. Scroll through the gallery above as we take a look at all the weird and wonderful places kitties have managed to squish themselves into, and tell us in the comments below, what’s the strangest position you’ve ever found your cat in? Source: <a href="https://www.boredpanda.com/if-it-fits-i-sits-9/" target="_blank">BoredPanda</a>.

Family & Pets

How to cut your power bill in half without turning anything off

A year ago, Ian Williamson was used to being charged about $1000 a month for his household's electricity. Now, he is paying about $7 a day – and he hasn't changed anything about the way his family of three uses power. Williamson's house is almost 500 sqm, with three hot-water cylinders and underfloor heating. "It was always going to be at the bigger end of bills." He had accepted that somewhere between $800 and $1000 a month from Mercury was about average. Then he discovered Flick – a power company that passes on wholesale spot prices to customers, plus a margin. That model means that Williamson's household usage pattern, with about 50 per cent of power used during off-peak times such as early mornings, evenings and weekends, resulted in significant savings. "Often I go in [to the app] just to have a look and see the spot price is 7.3 or 7.5c (per kwh] – the cheapest we used to get before was 20c," he said. "There's not much of a downside to saving that sort of money. I've saved more than $3000 in the first year." He said he had not yet experienced a wholesale price spike as a Flick customer but was not locked into a contract. Power companies say there are a number of ways that customers can cut their power bills without having to change the way they use their appliances. Here are some of them. 1. Shop around The simplest way to save power is to move to a cheaper supplier. Check out a site such as Powerswitch to see whether you are getting a good deal. As well as price, consider other factors such as the business model – Flick and Paua to the People offer variable wholesale pricing. Electric Kiwi offers a free off-peak "hour of power" each day to customers. If you are worried about future price rises, you might benefit from a fixed-term deal where you lock in a price. Flick and Paua to the People customers are exposed to any fluctuations in the wholesale price, which means it is hard to budget precisely. But Flick chief executive Steve O'Connor said many people were paying a significant premium for that certainty, compared to what else was on offer. "You insure your house and car against disaster but do you need to insure your power bill? You're paying a large premium for that." He said the average saving for Flick customers over the past year had been $489. 2. Make use of night rates If you are with a provider that offers cheaper rates at night, something as simple as setting your appliances on timers can make a difference. You can buy a simple timer from a hardware shop or something such as a Belkin WeMo switch, which allows you to control your devices from your mobile. While you're at it, put a timer on your heated towel rail. If you only run it for the couple of hours a day when you actually need it, it will save you about $100 a year. 3. Get more efficient Using an efficient showerhead will mean you can have showers that are just as long but do not use as much hot water – which is a big component of power bills. "To check the flow rate of your shower, put a 10 litre bucket under the shower - if it fills in less than a minute at normal showering temperature, your showerhead is wasting water. An efficient showerhead has a flow rate of nine litres per minute, or less. Even reducing the flow rate by one litre per minute could save a household of three around $80 per year," said EECA Energywise technical expert Christian Hoerning. LED lightbulbs are another way to cut your bill without having to turn off any lights. This can save $100 a year or more in most houses. Mercury also recommends buying energy-efficient appliances. It said people could save money by replacing a fridge that was more than 10 years old with a newer, more efficient model. An energy-efficient TV can use up to 25 per cent less energy. 4. Cut out standby When you switch an appliance off, turn it right off instead of to standby. Hoerning said: "Major culprits are home entertainment appliances, like TVs, stereos, game consoles and computer equipment. Plug them all into multi-plug boards so they can all be turned off properly at the same time. Turn off other appliances like whiteware at the wall too." Appliances on standby add 10 per cent to your bills – but turning them off instead is painless. Do you agree with these tips? Let us know in the comments. Written by Susan Edmunds. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank">Stuff.co.nz.</a>

Money & Banking

15 photos that prove getting older is anything but boring

Who says getting older can’t be fun? <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/think-getting-older-is-boring-these-18-photos-say-otherwise_us_56e7153ce4b0b25c9182de96" target="_blank">The Huffington Post</a> got together with photography community EyeEm to find some of the wackiest, coolest, most unique and stylish seniors around the world, and the results are simply spectacular. From avant-garde fashionistas and dapper gentlemen to thrill-seekers and youthful spirits, these colourful characters will inspire you to embrace your age and wear it as a badge of honour. Tell us in the comments below, who’s the most inspiring senior you know? Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/08/common-myths-about-retirement/">6 myths about life after retirement</a> <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/08/perks-of-getting-older/">8 perks of getting older you might not know about</a> <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/07/yazemeenah-rossi-60-year-old-model/">Meet the 60-year-old model disrupting ageing</a>

Retirement Life

Wise 90-year-old answers life’s important questions

A 90-year-old blogger has become an unlikely viral sensation after sharing his wisdom about life with the Internet on online forum Reddit. Roland John “Ron” Lehker took to the site to let users ask him any questions they had about life, love, and what it was like to edge closer to the big 100. His answers were just perfect! <ul> <li>His advice to young people – “I really don't keep up, but I have depended upon my grandchildren to keep me a bit ‘in the loop’. My advice would be to make sure you are still keeping in touch with the views and values of the older generation.”</li> <li>The most important thing in life – “Family.”</li> <li>On people calling him “adorable” – “Since it was a term I've never thought about in [relation] to myself, I was delighted when the person who wrote the article […] had it changed.”</li> <li>When asked if he still felt sexual attraction – “The joy of seeing beauty is no respecter of age.”</li> <li>On death – “Death is one of the few things in life that I (fortunately) do not have control of. Therefore, why worry about it.”</li> <li>On the future and the potential of younger people – “Most important to me is the opportunity to try to make a difference in life – to relate to other people – to help preserve our environment. I sincerely hope you can reach beyond the television screen and realize that each of us can make a difference and find meaning.”</li> <li>What it’s like to be “old” – “I can't imagine how it could be better. I used to think people were old at 60!”</li> </ul> What advice would you give to younger generations? Tell us your thoughts in the comment section below. Related links: <a href="/news/news/2016/07/grandparents-share-secrets-to-a-happy-marriage/">Grandparents share their adorable 5 secrets to a happy marriage</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/07/mick-jagger-expecting-baby-number-eight/">72-year-old Mick Jagger expecting baby number eight</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/07/heartbreaking-news-for-tom-hanks-and-his-family/">Heartbreaking news for Tom Hanks and his family</a>

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15 photos that prove getting older is anything but boring

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Travel

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Lifestyle

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Coronation quiche? Not if the French have anything to say about it

How to make children do anything you ask

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

Readers respond: Is there anything you regret not asking your parents?

"It had no bearing on anything": Martin Bashir responds to Princess Di accusations

“Anything but a fairy tale”: Duchess Meghan wants to set the record straight about life in the royal family

12 proven steps to truly forgive anyone for anything

"Beyond anything you can imagine": The brutal truth of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster

How to survive anything

Amazing trick to remove gum from anything

15 cats that prove anything can be a bed

How to cut your power bill in half without turning anything off

15 photos that prove getting older is anything but boring

Wise 90-year-old answers life’s important questions

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