Daughter’s hilarious obituary for her late dad goes viral
Terry Wayne Ward from Indiana in the US spent his life making people laugh, so it was only fitting that his daughter farewelled him in the most hilarious way possible.
After the 71-year-old died of a stroke on January 23, his daughter, Jean Lahm, penned an obituary which has since gone viral.
“Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse,” the memorial reads.
“Terry is survived by his overly-patient and accepting wife Kathy, who was the love of his life (a fact she gladly accepted sympathy for during their 48 years of marriage).
“Terry graduated from Thornridge High School in South Holland, IL, where only three of his teachers took an early retirement after having had him as a student. He met the love of his life, Kathy, by telling her he was a lineman – he didn’t specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret.
“He enjoyed many, many things. Among those things were hunting, fishing, golfing, snorkelling, ABBA, hiking Turkey Run, chopping wood, shooting guns, Bed Bath & Beyond, starlight mints, cold beer, free beer, The History Channel, CCR, war movies, discussing who makes the best pizza, The Chicago White Sox, old Buicks, and above all, his family.
“He was a renowned distributor of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches to his grandchildren. He also turned on programs such as Phineas and Ferb for his grand-youngins, usually when they were actually there.
“He despised ‘uppity foods’ like hummus, which his family lovingly called ‘bean dip’ for his benefit, which he loved consequently. He couldn’t give a damn about most material things, and automobiles were never to be purchased new. He never owned a personal cell phone and he had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians.
“Terry died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.”
Talking to the New York Post after the memorial went viral on social media, Jean said, “With him as a father there was absolutely no other way to write this obituary.”
Jean thinks her dad would have loved it as much as we all do: “I think he would have had it on his garage fridge" – and is probably laughing at his newfound online stardom when he “didn’t even know what a hashtag was”.