Two of the biggest dating mistakes revealed
When it comes to dating, there are several common pitfalls that can make the whole process daunting and disheartening.
Dr Michael Karson, a professor of psychology at the University of Denver, has revealed two of the biggest dating mistakes he has encountered during his career.
1. Don’t look for Mr or Ms Right
Though the idea of finding your soulmate is promoted by movies and romance novels, real life doesn’t follow these kinds of storylines.
Instead, Dr Karson says you should look for someone who you want to build a relationship with - and who wants to build a relationship with you - rather than finding a person who will be perfect for you from the start.
At the core of the fantasy of finding Mr or Ms Right is the desire that you are just right for someone. Instead, being able to grow together can help you find success in your relationships.
2. Don’t stay if you know it won’t work
Staying in a relationship for months or years despite knowing it won’t work is another pitfall in dating. Whether people stay in a relationship with the hopes the other person will change their mind about monogamy, kids, or whatever crucial thing they want to build a life together, or they stay for companionship or to meet physical needs, there are plenty of reasons couples stay together despite knowing it won’t pan out.
But, this can mean that when the relationship does end, you end up back at square one after building a life with someone else.
Instead, Dr Karson suggests people should reflect on the reasons why they continue to stay in the relationship and find alternative solutions. For example, those staying purely for companionship could seek out more friendships, while those who are uncertain about their partner should air their concerns and see if they can be discussed.