These bad habits can ruin your relationship
Nobody’s relationship is perfect. That said, many of us like to think we’re doing a wonderful job of being the perfect partner for our significant other. However, there are some inconspicuous habits we can get into that could cause big problems down the road. Pay attention to your own actions, and try to avoid doing these things if you notice them. If you notice them in your partner, remember that they’re likely not doing it to hurt you, so a casual conversation about them could help.
1. You don’t actively listen
Despite the fact that it can feel like a passive activity, listening is a vital skill to possess if you want your relationship to have longevity. If you’re not actively listening to your partner, not only are you likely to miss out on important information they are trying to share with you, you’re being disrespectful towards them. It’s very easy to tell when someone isn’t paying attention to you, so make sure you’re respectful. Need some tips on being a better listener? Click here.
2. You give the cold shoulder
Not listening is rude. Outright ignoring your partner is just cruel. It’s completely understandable to want some time to yourself if you’ve just had a significant disagreement with your partner, but taking the time to let them know that you want to be alone for a short period of time is going to help you both – you’ll get your space, and they won’t be as hurt by your silence. Just make sure you don’t extend your solidarity too long – take time to gather your thoughts and open dialogue back up as soon as possible.
3. You forget to think about their needs
It’s pretty damn human to think about your own needs before those of your partner, but try your best to keep your partner in mind when you’re doing things for yourself. Let’s say you’re at the shops and pick up a pie to take home for lunch – don’t forget that your partner is at home, and might be wondering what they will eat for lunch – or perhaps they’re already planning your lunch, and you’ve unknowingly thrown a pie into that ointment. When you get up to fill your water glass during a television show, do you check to see if they would like more water, too? These are little things, but remembering your partner’s needs shows that you care. Forgetting them indicates that you don’t.
4. You keep score
This one is a biggie. If, in your mind, you’re keeping score on your relationship, then you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. Keeping score doesn’t just mean that you’re keeping a running tally of who wins what argument, or gets their way the most. It can also mean remembering nice things you’ve done for your partner to negate feelings of guilt over treating them poorly. You should strive to love your partner, and show that in all your acts.
Which one of these bad habits do you feel you’ve fallen into?