Rekindling romance: finding your way back to the honeymoon phase
“The honeymoon phase” – all romantic relationships experience this delirious, blissed out period when everything is new, and birds sing songs about your love. Unfortunately, this almost always comes to a close, and the reality of making a lasting relationship work makes itself known. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with your partner for months, years, or decades, there are bound to be slumps along the way. What’s important is remembering that they’re not permanent, and that you can do something about it. Here are four ideas for finding your way back to the honeymoon phase.
Embrace vanity
There’s a general taboo around the desire to ‘look good’, and all that that concept suggests. But looking good isn’t purely a selfish act. Putting in the energy and effort to look good can suggest to your partner that you care about them. As they’re the ones who look at you more than anyone else, a little extra effort can be a powerful signal of your love. You don’t have to lose a dramatic amount of weight, or get hair plugs, but consider how you might dress for them if you were still getting to know them. How would you present yourself for your first date?
Listen
Listening can be a difficult skill to master (link to previous article about what makes a bad listener?), and those closest to us are quick to spot when we’re not really paying attention. Be conscious of your actions when you’re having a conversation with your partner. What is your body language suggesting? Are you making eye contact? Are you really listening, and absorbing what they’re saying, as opposed to waiting for them to stop talking so that you can contribute? Being genuinely interested in each other is something that will help you get back to that honeymoon feeling.
Touch
So many people believe that romantic partnerships eventually settle into a companionable friendship after a period of time. If that’s true, then those people are perhaps not using one of their senses to the best of their ability: touch. Physical touch is so important in defining a romantic relationship. The intimacy with which you touch your partner in simple, everyday ways (holding hands, touching their face, stroking their hair) will help reignite passions for other physical activities.
Use your words
There are some important words you should be using every day in your relationship.
- “I’m sorry” – It’s important to own your actions if you make a mistake. It can be so easy to become defensive, even when we know we’re in the wrong. The simple way to sidestep a frosty cold spell is to apologise.
- “What can I do?” – This simple question can be used in any situation to let your partner know that you’re there to help. By asking what you can do for them (to help with dinner, to ease their troubles, to make them happier), you are reminding them that you are standing beside them through whatever comes next.
What’s your best tip for rekindling romance in your relationship? Let us know in the comments below.