This one simple question reveals if your relationship needs work
Just like your physical and mental health, your relationship can benefit from regular check-ups. Taking the time and effort to make sure that there aren’t any cracks that need addressing before they get worse is a great way to solidify your relationship against unexpected difficult times. But knowing what to look for can be tricky – especially if you’ve been in your relationship for more than a couple of years.
There is, however, a simple question for you to ask yourself to help you figure it out: “Is there distance between us?”
Asking this question of is a great way to judge the state of it; a relationship’s health can usually be accurately judged by the emotional or physical distance between the partners. The question only works if you’re committed to being completely honest when you answer – if you fudge your answer because you don’t want to tell the truth, then you won’t be able to start addressing the problems that are there.
What does distance look like? It depends upon the nature of your relationship when it’s healthy, but loneliness in a relationship is a good indicator that there is distance there. If you feel like your partner isn’t around much, and when they are, they don’t seem present, then that is indicative of distance. As is an absence of desire to be near one another.
If you think that a distance has grown between you and your partner and you want to address the situation before it gets worse, then you need to have a conversation sooner rather than later. Take the time to think about the best way to approach the conversation with them, and then bring up your concerns in a way that lets them know that no one is to blame, but that you think it’s important for the two of you to work on the problem.
People often forget that a relationship is something you need to work at, so whether it’s checking in with each other regularly, or making time for romantic dates with each other, you should try to establish a plan to put in the work needed. A great option, if you’re not sure where to begin, is to see a counsellor as a couple. An impartial third party can help pinpoint what’s gone wrong, and where, and help suggest ways to course correct.
Whatever your answer to the question, it’s important to take care of your relationship just as you would your partner – help it stay healthy, and it will take care of you right back.
What has distance looked like in your relationship?