5 relationship myths holding you back from love
Love isn’t easy, but these are some common myths that you can do away with right now.
1. Love will make me happy
Of course love is a powerful emotion and has enormous potential to increase your happiness, but it can’t solve all your problems. If you are unhappy within yourself, it is a mistake to look to a partner to fix that. It puts too much pressure on another person to make them responsible for your happiness. You need to feel strong and content as an individual, and then let a relationship add to what you already have.
2. Love will happen if it’s meant to
People tend to think about finding love in very fatalistic terms – if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. But there are no other aspects of your life that you would leave up to fate in such a way. If you wanted a new job, would you just wait for it to find you? There’s no shame in actively seeking love. Don’t sit back passively and hope that your soul mate is on their way – you need to get out there and find them.
3. Love is easy and doesn’t require work
Unfortunately, nothing that is really worth having is ever easy. Love definitely requires work, from day to day kindnesses to more overarching goals and plans for your life together. It is foolish to think that a couple in love will never fight – everyone fights! The key is to always try to be respectful of your partner and avoid being deliberately nasty. You may find that you need to work on your relationship in different ways over time as it evolves, but you can always come back to a place of kindness.
4. Love can’t exist without sex
In many adult relationships, people seem to directly equate love with sex. They feel that if they stop having sex or being intimate with their partner, that automatically means they are no longer in love. This is not true – the deep emotional connection you have with your partner transcends a physical relationship. There is no ‘right’ amount of sex you should be having. Don’t judge your relationship by that of others and trust in what works for you.
5. Love is all you need
That’s all well and good for teenagers, but once you are older and wiser you come to the sad realisation that love alone is not enough to save a relationship. If you have fundamental disagreements about issues that are important to you (like money, family or religion), love may not be enough to save the relationship. Try not to be blinded by it and acknowledge that your feelings and opinions are important.