Losing friends after a break-up
If you find yourself suddenly single, whether it’s through separation, divorce or death, you can feel very lonely. Many couples make the mistake of doing everything as a twosome, neglecting their own friendships with other people. All of a sudden, your partner is gone and you realise that you have no close pals to lean on.
It can feel overwhelming to think about trying to make friends when you are older (and perhaps a bit more set in your ways). But if you are willing to put in some effort, we’ve got some tips to get you on the right track.
1. Take stock
Have you got any old friends or current acquaintances that you could get in touch with? It might be friends from a previous neighbourhood, an old job, or even from school. Reach out to them and try to set up a time to meet for a coffee or a walk. Take things easy – there’s no need to go from zero to an intimate dinner for two straightaway.
2. Join in
Think about your interests and see if there is any scope to step out from there. For instance, you could join a group such as a book club, volunteer with Meals on Wheels or at your local church, or even sign up to learn new skills such as an art, cooking or photography class. You might be lucky enough to hit it off with other people in the group.
3. Put the word out
If you’re not too shy to do so, letting your acquaintances know about your situation can really help. For instance, you could say ‘I’ve been feeling quite lonely since becoming single, so if there are any events coming up that you’re going to I would love to tag along if you don’t mind?’ This might just put your name top of mind when people are organising a day trip, hosting a dinner party, or looking for a friend to go walking with. Don’t be too proud to be honest, you never know where it might lead you.
4. Sign up
Now would be a great time to sign up for something with a group. For instance, a cruise or a group trip overseas or interstate. You can really bond with other people in such an intimate setting, and sharing a positive experience with others is a great way to make new friends. Plus, you’ll get to enjoy a bit of time on your own to think about what you really want to do with your newfound singleness.
Have you had to put yourself ‘out there’ after splitting from a partner? How did you cope?