3 signs it’s time to let go of a friendship
Friendships are one of life’s most precious gifts. Your friends, some people say, are the family you choose for yourself. So it can be difficult to recognise when it’s time to let some of those friendships go. Many people feel a sense of obligation to their friends – often labouring under the delusion that a friend is forever. The blunt truth of the matter is that not all friendships are built to last. A friendship might only have a shelf life of a year, a decade, or even a single day.
The important thing to remember is that one should never try to assign blame when a friendship comes to a close. Ending a friendship doesn’t mean you wish this person ill, or never want to see them again, but it does mean that you want to take a step back and create some space in your life – either for yourself or for a new relationship. Let’s look at some of the reasons you should be closing the chapter on a friendship.
1. Things have changed
Change is inevitable. Don’t feel badly for admitting that something has changed – whether that’s something in your life or theirs. It could be that you yourself have changed, or perhaps your friend has. Maybe one of you has moved away, or started a new hobby, or begun a new job, or has entered a new relationship. Perhaps the thing you once had in common is gone. Whatever the change is, if it impacts the friendship, then you shouldn’t feel guilty for recognising that shift and making the decision to move on from the friendship.
2. Too much work
A romantic relationship can be a lot of work – just about anyone will tell you this if you sit still long enough. But a friendship shouldn’t be anywhere near as taxing on your energy – emotional or otherwise. If you have a friendship into which you feel you are pouring too much of your own energy, then it might be time to pull back. This is especially true if you don’t feel like your friend is contributing as much as you are. Again, it’s important to remember that this is no one’s fault.
3. Your needs aren’t being met
Many of our friendships have specific purposes and functions – some of our friendships are built around the need to vent over coffee, or a shared passion for bargain hunting. Perhaps you are united by a love for romantic comedies, or for watching sports together. Whatever the commonality, if it is the strongest pillar upon which the friendship stands, then you can expect to feel a certain level of nourishment from that friendship. If, however, circumstances change, and you’re no longer having those specific needs met, it might be time to call it quits.
When was the last time you had to end a friendship?