81-year-old’s advice on creating an online dating profile
Dorrie Jacobson, 81, an internationally recognised expert on ageing stylishly, writes for her popular website Senior Style Bible. She also writes about senior sexuality and her experiences with online dating as an older woman.
One of the biggest obstacles to dating is simply getting started. Taking that first step is the hardest part. I think a lot of women worry that the rules have changed, or just don’t know how to begin. The process seems daunting. So today I’m going to talk about how to start.
The traditional way to meet men has previously been through work, mutual friends, social gatherings, sporting events, places of worship, charity events, or community clubs. However, I’m going to be honest and admit that I actually prefer online dating to those other methods. Why? Well, for number of reasons! Firstly, it allows you to cast a wider net. With online dating, you’re no longer limited by a 25-mile radius around your neighbourhood, and that opens you up to a lot more possibilities, especially for those that live in small towns. So if the pickings are slim in your area, online dating allows you to expand your horizons elsewhere. It also allows you to get specific about what you’re looking for. Quite often we meet men by chance and fall into a relationship without taking the time to consider exactly what we’re looking for. This isn’t the ideal way to begin dating. It’s important to have some idea of what values, characteristics and interests are important to you in a man. Creating an online dating profile forces us to examine those things before we begin.
You will also want to do some research to determine which dating sites are best for you. Many dating sites will let you browse through and see their members prior to joining and you should do that. It’s also a good idea to check out the ladies in your age group to assess the competition and review their profiles and photos so you can get a feel for how you want to design your own profile to stand out amongst the crowd!
I recommend that you try joining more than one site and enrol for no more than a month or two to see if it is a good fit for you.
Every dating site will request that you upload photos and then create a personal profile. Your picture is the first thing that men will see, so it’s important to make sure you have at least five or six flattering shots that you love. The best way to do that is to take some new pictures, perhaps wearing a few different outfits, taken in a few different locations. This will give you a variety of images to choose from.
Not everyone likes having their picture taken, but it can be a fun experience rather than a chore. Invite a friend to come over and play stylist and photographer for the day. You two can go through your wardrobe and decide which outfits are the most flattering on camera. Not everything we love to wear looks great through a lens, so it’s best to test-shoot your outfits to make sure they photograph well. I’d also suggest choosing solids over patterns, in a flattering colour. That puts the emphasis on you, rather than your clothing. It’s also a good idea to do your hair and make-up. Your pictures are the first thing prospective dates will see, so it’s worth making the effort!
When shooting your new pictures, keep in mind that you should have a least one close up, or head shot as they are called, which should be from the chest up, as well as a few full length pictures. These pictures should be a mix, with some posed, and some more natural, doing things of interest, like walking the dog or cooking or whatever it is that genuinely puts a smile on your face. Pictures that show you doing things in your daily life are always great. Please don’t be afraid to show your body. Hiding behind pictures that only show our face, or make us look 20 pounds slimmer, is not doing anyone any favours. I cannot emphasize how important it is to be honest about what you look like in real life. The number one issue on dating sites is that people misrepresent what they look like. I think that is a dishonest way to begin the dating experience and can lead to disappointing dates. So let’s not do that.
Please don’t post old pictures, even if we were a stunner back in the day. Throwback photos should not be included on your profile. The real you, who you are today, is the person we are introducing to the world, and they are beautiful. Let’s post some recent, gorgeous photos of them.
Also, please don’t post pictures with your friends, family, grandchildren or any partners. This is about you, and only you. Also please don’t take any “selfies.” They aren’t flattering and no one wants to see your bathroom or the camera covering your face in the mirror. So enlist the help of a friend to take pictures of you in a lovely setting with beautiful natural light. Usually pictures outdoors, an hour or so before sunset have gorgeous light.
Okeydokey…now that you have great photos, let’s move onto writing your profile. Be honest about who you are. Write a profile like you’re talking to friend. Describe your lifestyle. Where do you live? What is it like there? What do you do with your days? What are your interests? Do you have any hobbies that you’re passionate about? Are you still working? If not, what was your previous profession? If religion is a big part of your life, it should get a brief mention. Keep it light and positive. Don’t talk about past relationships, kids or anything too personal in your profile. Keep it fun and charming and remember that injecting a bit of humour is always a good thing.
Most dating sites will “match you” with people that are compatible with your profile, specified age range and within the distance range you request. I suggest keeping your initial searches flexible. You can always change the scope of your search to a narrower parameter later on. If you do not specify matches within a certain distance you will end up with pen pals all over the country. Once you are activated, within a few days you will be flooded with interested parties, and then comes the process of elimination.
Have you had success with online dating? Let us now in the comments below.
For more of Dorrie Jacobson, please visit Senior Style Bible or her popular Instagram here.
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