Watching my grandson grow up is a blessing
Anne Marr, 69, is a registered hairdresser, whose hobbies include writing, gardening, caring for wild life and learning. She’s also studied health, journalism and pain management.
Life is full of learning if we’re open to it. Watching my grandson grow is a blessing.
When husband Colin and I retired we looked forward to renovating our 100-year-old cottage, landscaping the garden and having our own space at last.
Well this didn’t happen quite as planned. First my mother moved in with us. She was at nursing home stage and Dad couldn’t manage anymore. Mum had no intentions of going into a nursing home so actually drove herself here (last time she every drove, thank goodness) and said, “I’m staying here and you can’t make me leave”. Oh well what could we do, she did stay, and then daughter arrived in tears and said “I have to sell my house straight away and can I move in with you?” She, of course, also brought her 18-month-old son. Our first grandchild. We juggled beds and made room.
Next came my dad who was ill and now couldn’t manage on his own. Our little cottage was quite packed to the rafters and renovations going slower. Our van was gutted, lowered to the ground and chassis removed so there was no step. It was insulated, van windows removed and normal sliding windows put in. Refitted as a bedroom and lounge area. Husband did all this and put it close to the back verandah. An intercom fitted to the main house to connect to what we now called our cabin. Mum could call me when I was needed, but still had her own space. This became Mums area for the next five years. Then she moved inside the house as she needed more care.
A great deal of shuffling of rooms happened over the years. The laundry was moved to the back verandah so grandson could have his own bedroom. He was growing fast and now at school. The carport closed off and turned into a bedroom for daughter.
Well that was nearly 12 years ago. During that 12 years, firstly my father passed away at home with us. Then my mother passed away a year later while with us.
Our grandson grew and shared the first seven years of his life with his great grandparents, his grandparents and of course his mother. We all learnt a great deal about compromise, tolerance, compassion and unconditional love. So did our grandson it seems.
He’s now just turned 13. His great-grandparents have passed on and also my dear Colin, his grandfather. He was with them all when they departed and proved to be an amazing supportive help to me. His outlook on life and death I have learnt a great deal from, and I’ve decided there is a lot that can be learnt from having a combined generation household.
I am so grateful I have been blessed and able to watch my first and only grandchild take his first steps, learn his first words, see him kiss his great-grandfather goodbye and hear the words he said to his Pop. “You’re happy now Pop, your body was worn out and now you have your new light body you’ll be happy”. My grandson was six at the time and I remember being amazed at hearing this from him. I asked him why he’d said this. He said “Great Poppy told me and I’m going outside to play now”.
I can’t believe that grandson is now 13. He is a wonderful person. He has great compassion for everyone including his school mates. He will always attempt to right wrongs and always supports anyone that need helps in anyway. His toughest challenge is trying to understand why there are mean people in the world and why doesn’t everyone just love. I tell him I’m still wondering this myself, but I hope mankind will eventually learn how to just love. Till then I tell him to always be true to himself as he is, and be careful who you do trust. “I am grandma,” he answers. That I believe as he’s shown me he does know how to look after himself. His family too. I often feel he is much older than his 13 years, but I’m happy to say when I watch him play he hasn’t left his childhood behind, just yet.
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Thank you dad for everything you taught me