How to prepare yourself for becoming a carer
If you or somebody that you know is a caregiver in a part or full-time capacity, you’ll know just how hard it can be. It often gets more difficult as time goes on, and many carers leave it quite late before they ask for help.
A way to prepare for this situation is to plan ahead when the caregiving commences, so that everyone involved is on the same page about their role. Steps can be taken in advance to set up your home and have some house rules so that everyone knows where they stand.
1. Make preparations for the carer to have regular breaks
Often it can feel as though the carer has sacrificed everything in terms of their time, social life and privacy for the person they are caring for. It’s very important never to allow someone to become a 24/7 carer as this puts enormous pressure on them. They need regular breaks – both throughout the day/night, as well as time off for a holiday away from the home. This is where third party support services can come in handy, or perhaps another family member can step in.
2. Ensure privacy for everyone
Privacy should be a top priority for the carer, the elderly person, as well as anyone else in the home. That means that if you are moving dad into your home, he will need his own space to sleep and relax. This may mean using some of their money to build a granny flat or small extension. Suddenly having a sick or elderly person in the house can be disruptive for other family members, so allowing them to have their own space allows everyone to do their own thing. Try to set them up so that they can (if appropriate) have social outlets away from you, for instance heading out to a men’s shed or club.
3. Set up their space for a good night’s sleep
Some elderly people can find their sleep disrupted to do their illness, anxiety or medication. Ensure that their room is set up with a comfortable bed, blackout blinds so that it’s nice and dark, adequate heating and cooling so that they’re comfortable, and appropriate sleepwear so they’re not too hot or cold.
4. Prepare for the future
It’s easy to think about what your elderly mum needs right now, but you actually need to be thinking in advance about her needs. For instance, perhaps she is fine to get into a bathtub now to have a shower, but eventually she may find that difficult. Could you budget and plan for a bathroom renovation that may allow for wheelchair access? Thinking ahead gives you time and the mental headspace to get ready for the next stage. For instance, illnesses such as dementia can deteriorate quickly. Speak with the doctor to get a rough idea of the timeline of their condition to help you make plans.
5. Determine your deal-breakers
There’s no need to expect to be a carer for the rest of the elderly patient’s life. Sit down and work out exactly how far you are willing to go in terms of care. For instance, if there are issues with bladder or bowel control, that could be a point where a nursing home may be required. Will your elderly father in law eventually need to be lifted in and out of bed, and are you strong enough to do that for the next five years? Safety is another concern – if you are worried that their mental capacity to raise the alarm in case of fire isn’t there, or you’re concerned that they may wander off onto a busy road, this could be a sign that you are in over your head.
Have you got any tips or advice for carers based on your own experience? We would love to hear from you in the comments.