Ben Squires


The 10 types of people you always find on Facebook

The 10 types of people you always find on Facebook

With currently 1.23 billion users worldwide (and counting, most likely), Facebook has unequivocally established itself as a mainstay of many people’s lives. Yet with so many users it does seem as you scroll through your news feed that the same types of people keep cropping up again and again. So without further ado, we bring to you the 10 types of people you always find on Facebook.

1. The let-me-tell-you-every-detail-of-my day friend

They’re Facebook page reads like a variation of this:

7.12AM: “Just woke up. So tired today.”

7.18AM: “Should I have toast or cereal for breakfast?”

7.51AM: “I think I’m going to be late for the bus…”

8.16AM: “Oh no, I missed the bus.”

You get the idea, they like to let all their (Facebook) friends know every unfiltered thought.

2. The selfie poster

They love their face and they want everyone to know it. Serial selfie posters love to post a selfie along with status updates that do not ever warrant a selfie. Think of posts like the above one accompanied with near-identical selfie to each one, but crucially with the face angled in different ways.

3. The lone friend who plays Candy Crush (or insert whatever is the most popular game at the moment)

You open up your Facebook page and lo and behold, that friend has invited you to play Candy Crush or Farmville for the umpteenth time. You’ve already told them that you have no interest in crushing any candy or farming imaginary land on the internet but to no avail, the notifications keep coming. You could unfriend them but if that seems too drastic, you can also sneakily block their invites without them knowing.

4. The cranky complainer

These cranky curmudgeons love to post ranting statuses about everything under the sun, but all the rants end seemingly end with the demise of society. They haven’t yet found anything they don’t have opinion about – and you guessed it, it’s always negative.

5. The serial photographer

If they’re a foodie, you’re inundated with artsy photos of food. If they’re a traveller, you’re flooded with artsy photos of their travels. If they’re a gym junkie, you’re swamped with artsy fitness photos. We see a pattern emerging…

6. The bad grammarian

It’s online so the usual spelling and punctuations rules don’t apply, we get it. But if nobody can decipher what you’re trying to say, it’s no help. But more importantly, it makes you sound, let’s put this delicately, less-than-intelligent.

7. The baby/pet lover  

They say babies and pets rule the internet and that’s certainly the case on Facebook. For those with newborn children (and grandchildren) and pets, it’s sometimes hard to tell whose Facebook it is with the multitude of photos of pets and baby. As we’re guilty of this here at Over60 (c’mon, babies and pets are cute) continue as you are.

8. The maddening cryptic status updater

This is the Facebook friend who always post obscure status updates like:

“Why does it always happen to me...”

“If not now, then when?”

“I’m so glad that’s over…”

The statues are always short, mysterious and give nothing away, begging the question why were they posted in the first place? 

9. The fabulous life friend

In contrast, the fabulous life friend has no qualms about sharing every minute detail of their wonderful life. Well, at least that’s the way it seems where every status, photo and video is a brag about the latest and best thing that’s happened.

10. The virtual lovers

Often it’s the young folks who are most guilty of this. They just want everyone to know how in love they are by posting lots of photos of them together, sighing statuses when they’re away from each other and tagging one another in every photo. It’s like they need the public displays of affection to sustain the relationship.